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Shameless Leadership — Government & Organizations
Shameless Leadership

Welcome to Shameless Leadership! This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, and allies who are committed to advancing their leadership and the leadership of those around them. In this space, we believe everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, valued, and supported. Our mission is to help you foster these feelings within your own circles of influence to build trust, psychological safety, and a culture of belonging.
In each episode, we dive into essential topics impacting women in leadership – everything from shutting down your inner critic and imposter syndrome to overcoming perfectionism to using your voice in new ways to advocate for yourself, your ideas, and other folks carrying marginalized identities. You’ll hear practical tips, effective strategies, and inspiring stories that will not only enhance your leadership skills but also broaden your perspective to become a more confident, thoughtful, and empathetic leader.
Our stories come from people carrying identities who are often underrepresented, underestimated, and excluded. By sharing their experiences, we aim to provide you with invaluable lessons that will transform your leadership journey. We are thrilled to have you join this community of Shameless Leaders who are actively creating a world where everyone, regardless of gender, can intentionally lead through a more curious, compassionate, and inclusive lens.

Latest Episodes:

622: You Don't Need To Be A Better Mom Feb 07, 2022

Show notes

I was in a conversation with a coaching client the other day and we were hashing out some details around her company branding and mission. She is a badass coach who works with moms who want to learn how to prioritize themselves in order to shift the relationship to self and the way they parent to overcome things like mom rage and all the other overwhelming emotions that come with momming on any given day.

As we were talking through some ideas, she mentioned how the moms she works with want to “become better moms”. I found myself nodding along. Yes, of course! Who doesn’t want to be a better mom?!

The next morning. I found myself in the shower thinking about this conversation and I had a visceral reaction.

NO. WE DON’T NEED TO BECOME BETTER MOMS.

I get that we desire to be our very best for our kids.

And we always want to become better versions of ourselves.

I know so many of you listening are committed to growth and evolution and doing better when it comes to everything from the way you mother to the way you show up at work to the way you participate as a good citizen in your communities.

But, if we are carrying with us this constant idea that, “I need to be a better mom”, we are likely carrying guilt, shame and a strong sense of not enoughness.

It is quite possible that your desire to “become a better mom” is completely undermining the incredible mother you already are.

In this episode, I dig into how you can change your mindset around the mother you currently are in order to bring more joy and peace to mothering and life in general.

You are already an amazing mom. Full stop.

Link mentioned:

Sign up for Jen Lumanlan’s free Masterclass on February 12th: How to Tame Your Triggers Around Your Child's Difficult Behavior: shamelessmom.com/triggers

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

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621: Amy Henderson: How Motherhood Changes Your Brain And Makes You More Marketable Feb 02, 2022

Show notes

Amy Henderson is one of our nation’s leading voices on the critical role of parenting and caregiving in developing the future of work. Amy has three kids and is the founding CEO of TendLab, where she has been working with companies and their parents’ groups at places like Salesforce, Accenture, Cloudflare, Airbnb, Lululemon, and many others to optimize the workplace for parents. As cited in Forbes for her "truly collaborative nature," Amy also started and co-leads the Fam Tech Founders Collaborative, a network of over 180 founders who are solving for the needs of caregivers.

A regular speaker and author advocating on behalf of the power of parenthood at work, Amy has been featured in and written for The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fortune, Fast Company, Slate, InStyle, and more. Her book, 'Tending: Parenthood and the Future of Work," was published by Nationbuilder Books in May 2021.

I got to hear Amy speak at an event for her book recently and I was blown away. I reached out to her (aka: stalked her down online) immediately after the event and asked her to join me for an interview. I’m so delighted and honored she said yes. Her work is not only brilliant, but absolutely critical, right now.

Listen in to hear Amy share:

Her stark realizations after having 3 kids under the age of 4 and having to figure out how to raise babies and her career
How parenthood changes all parents brains - regardless of whether or not you birthed your child
How parenthood unlocks parts of your brain forever - that qualify you to show up and lead in new and more dynamic ways for the rest of your life
Why the US is the only developed country in the world in which parenthood decreases your happiness instead of increasing it
The motherhood penalty in the workplace - PS: it’s REAL
How PTSD prepared her for being a working mom in America
5 things parenthood unlocks within you that makes you more capable and marketable if you choose to leverage them
What gives her hope for working moms in the US - and how COVID may have helped us in a certain sense

Links mentioned:

Book: Tending: Parenthood and the Future of Work
Connect with Amy: amyhenderson.org
TendLab: TendLab.com
Amy on LinkedIn
Amy on Instagram
Amy on Twitter
Amy on Facebook

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

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620: 5 Steps To Amplify Possibility In Your Life Jan 31, 2022

Show notes

Are you the type of person who must keep moving forward in order to keep up hope? I definitely am.

When things get heavy and hard, if I sit down for too long, the weight of the world becomes heavier with every inhale. The walls start to close in on me, anxiety takes control of my brain, and it can take an uncomfortable, if not unreasonable amount of time to break down those walls.

I hate dealing with those walls, so I am careful not to let them close in on me.

I stay in motion. I make things happen. I keep up the momentum.

Even when things are hard.

This doesn’t mean I don’t rest. It just means that I KEEP GOING, even if I slow down a bit, even if I stop for a nap. It means I keep looking for the light, which sometimes means searching for the tiniest cracks to find the light only beginning to peek in. It means I look for reasons and purpose and people to guide me toward possibility.

We are in a time right now where possibilities can feel pretty limited. So, I wanted to share with you how I’m helping my clients amplify possibility as I coach individuals and groups through this relentless season.

In this episode I share 5 steps to help you amplify possibility right now:

Assume success
Step back to see the forest through the trees more regularly
Reconsider timelines and stop waiting for “someday”
Tighten and expand your circle as frequently as necessary
Find the edges and feel them

After you listen in, let me know how you will KEEP GOING and one step you will take to amplify possibility this week.

Link mentioned:

Leave a review for the show: shamelessmom.com/review

(Thank you!! Your reviews mean soooo much to me!)

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

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619: Terri Cole: How to Be A Boundary Boss In Motherhood and Life Jan 26, 2022

Show notes

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free. For over two decades, she has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.

Terri has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.

When the opportunity to interview Terri landed in my inbox, I JUMPED. I have heard her speak a few times over the years and she is always FIRE. I cannot wait to share her genius here with you! Make sure to check out the free gift she is offering all Shameless Moms at boundaryboss.me/shameless.

Listen in to hear Terri share:

What boundaries are (your own personal rules of engagement) and why they matter
Disordered and dysfunctional boundaries
The importance of uncovering your downloaded boundary blueprint
The danger of the truth that: “Women are raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents”
How to take small steps to better boundaries and pause all of your YESes
Why boundaries are crucial in parenting and what disordered boundaries in parenting can look like
How fear shows up and prevents us from setting healthy boundaries and speaking truthfully
How she works with people through The Real Love Revolution - via a deep dive into yourself

Links mentioned:

Learn about Terri’s course, Real Love Revolution: terricole.com/rlr
Terri’s free gift for Shameless Moms: boundaryboss.me/shameless
Podcast: The Terri Cole Show: https://terricole.com/itunes
Terri on IG
Terri on Twitter
Terri on FB
Terri on YouTube

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponso

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618: It’s Not What You Think… The Truth About Motherhood in 2022 Jan 24, 2022

Show notes

We set mothers up to fail in this pandemic.

For decades before the pandemic began, we told moms they could and should DO IT ALL. While the intent was to give women permission to do all the things men do - we screwed this one up. Big time. Instead of giving moms the support they need (read: childcare and household support), we let them just keep adding to their plates in an effort to prove they can “do it all”.

After decades of piling on all the things and 2 years of a global pandemic, moms are breaking under the pressure and no one is talking about it.

I routinely hear moms say things like:

“I just need to get through this day/week/season.”

“I know I have it better than others so I really don’t want to complain.”

“It’s not that bad. I’m just a little tired. I can push through.”

But, the reality is… for almost 700 days now:

You haven’t had a break
Society hasn’t acknowledged the massive load you’ve carried for the last 2 years (or decades before that)
There is no end and no relief in sight
Social media makes it look like everyone else is faring just fabulously, so you really should figure your shit out
There are no solutions being presented that make anything easier - just temporary workarounds that might work for a hot second until the next dumpster fire

The truth is…

You don’t need to push harder
You don’t need to try to keep up
You don’t pretend this isn’t hard as hell
You don’t need to ignore or negate the impact of the last 2 years - even if you’ve “had it better than others”

What you really need is likely:

To be and acknowledged as someone who has (perhaps single handedly) kept the world spinning for an entire household
To recognize that you have endured Trauma and/or trauma over the last 2 years in the form of loss, grief, and chronic stress and it’s taken a toll on your nervous system and mental health
Connection and camaraderie with women who can hold you, hear you, learn with you and laugh with you
FUN

In this episode, I talk you through how to get past what you’ve been fed in order to get WHAT YOU NEED.

Link mentioned:

Join Momentum Mamas by January 25: shamelessmom.com/momentum

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

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617: Uzma Jafri and Zaiba Hasan: Mommying While Muslim Jan 19, 2022

Show notes

Uzma Jafri grew up in Houston, the daughter of Muslim immigrants from Pakistan and India. Coming from a traditional Muslim family and being unapologetically Muslim, while still identifying with American culture, made Uzma hyperaware of the dangers that arise when people conflate culture and religion. Today, Uzma is a physician running her own practice in Phoenix, medical director of an assisted living and hospice agency, and clinical faculty to future physicians. Uzma’s most important full-time job is that of mom to her 4 kids.

Zaiba Hasan is an American Muslim who grew up biracial and bicultural. Born and raised in Chicago, Zaiba’s Irish/Pakistani heritage and interfaith upbringing gave her a head start on navigating between identities. She is frequently invited to speak at interfaith events since her background makes her a natural at bridging gaps between Muslims and non-Muslims in the United States. When she isn’t busy with podcasting, public speaking, fostering an interfaith community, or working on her Master’s Degree & Parent Coaching Certification, Zaiba can be found with her husband and their four children at one of their sporting events.

I am so honored to have Uzma and Zaiba on the show, as this is a critically important conversation for those who want to be true allies to our Muslim friends, neighbors, and community members.

Listen in to hear Uzma and Zaiba share:

The story of how two Muslim friends who hadn’t seen each other in 20 years decided to launch a podcast together
How Zaiba’s son being stopped at an airport as a 14-year old Muslim boy inspired their show, Mommying While Muslim
How creating a community and resource for Muslim moms ended up attracting a lot of white moms and evangelical men and the value of creating a space where listeners feel like they can be a fly on the wall with two Muslim moms
The significance of being in the last pre 911 generation of Muslims in America
The racial and religious profiling that happened and continues to happen post 911
How we expand our capacity to connect as humans when we listen in to the stories of people who are unlike us

Links mentioned:

Join Momentum Mamas: shamelessmom.com/momentum
Subscribe to the Podcast: Mommying While Muslim
Learn more about Uzma and Zaiba: mommyingwhilemuslim.com
Reach out to Uzma and Zaiba: salam@mommyingwhilemuslim.com
Uzma and Zaiba on IG

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616: Why Moms Need More Mentorship Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

It’s not ok.

Mothers need mentorship. Desperately. And we’re not getting it - anywhere, really.

Because as a culture we leave moms to fend for themselves with ridiculously frugal resources to support their physical and mental health in the early years of motherhood, most moms are left feeling lonely and isolated as they care for their babies. Sometimes desperately so. And they have nowhere to turn.

In the absence of mentorship, moms feel like they are failing, like everyone else has it all figured out and they just need to “be strong” or pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

There is no guidance, let alone connection, companionship or camaraderie for struggling moms. There is no clear path through hard days or hard seasons. There is no normalization of how incredibly hard motherhood is.

There are plenty of beautiful instagram accounts that suggest you should be camera ready at all times and be hustling to post all your baby’s milestones and all your career wins, but no permission for you to be chronically overwhelmed and overstimulated, exhausted to the point of disorientation, disconnected to your former sense of self to the point of major anxiety and/or depression.

ENOUGH ALREADY.

In today’s episode, I break down what moms are missing out on when they don’t have mentorship, the harm we perpetuate as a society that doesn’t prioritize mother’s needs and 5 ways for you to find the connection and mentorship you’re likely craving.

Link mentioned:

Get SMA updates and an invitation to Momentum Mamas: shamelessmom.com/newsletter

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615: Sandra Etherington: How To Better Support Your Child Based On Their Innate Personality Type Jan 12, 2022

Show notes

Sandra is a mom of a 6 year old and an 8 year old. She is the owner of Family Personalities and the co-host of the Family Personalities podcast, a show that brings personality type models into parenting. If this conversation fascinates you as much as it does me, definitely go subscribe to her show! Sandra uses her experience and training in Myers-Briggs personality type, to work with families, helping them parent more effectively and compassionately based on their children's unique wiring and needs.

I am obsessed with personality types. I believe that knowing your type gives you so much power to lean into who you truly are in all the best ways possible. This was a fantastic and deeply insightful conversation all around how knowing our personality type and our kid’s personality types can be hugely beneficial and helpful in supporting our kid’s needs.

Listen in to hear Sandra share:

How to use the Myers-Briggs to understand how you make decisions, how you get energy, how you take in information
How to best figure out your Myers-Briggs type - outside of standard assessments
Why is super valuable to know your kids type in order to see some of their “harder” behaviors in a positive light
How to use your child’s type to motivate them
Her experience of struggling to “go with the flow” when enduring 4 miscarriages and really looking at her type to learn how to step away in order to see the bigger and pivot
Learning about the NJ superpower: gleaning insight, taking in data/info and curating it to create something bigger

Links mentioned

Connect with Sandra: familypersonalities.com
Sandra on IG
Sandra on FB
Family Personalities Podcast: familypersonalities.com/podcast

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614: 3 Ways The Messages You’re Carrying From Childhood Are Holding You Back Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

It is highly likely there are some messages you have internalized from your childhood that still have a stronghold on you. These may have been explicit messages shared by friends and family members or maybe quiet, subtle, more insidious messages that became a part of who you are without you even realizing it.

Whatever the case may be, these messages are holding you back. They are half truths at best and harmful lies at worst. They likely keep you stuck in self criticism, self doubt, and frequent not-enoughness.

These messages have likely created feedback loops in your brain that tell you stories and keep you repeating patterns that don’t serve you and possibly even bring you great struggle.

In this episode I share three messages that I carried from my childhood:

People can leave at any moment. And some people might not know how to love you.
Your body size is a reflection of your worth. Smaller is always better.
There are barely enough resources to get by. If anything unexpected happens, there won’t be enough.

These messages wove their way into my life in a variety of ways - some through observation, some were verbalized to me, and some were overheard (as I was/am a world class eavesdropper.)

I am sharing these 3 messages with you because it is likely you can relate to at least one of them. And you can also probably think of a few more that are unique to you.

If you carry messages like these with you and keep listening to them you will constantly struggle to see potential and possibility in your life. As we enter another season of uncertainty in the world, we can’t afford to carry messages that compromise possibility and potential. So, I’m going to invite you to change your messaging and your thought loops - starting now.

Link mentioned

Join my 2022 Plan & Prep Pajama Party: shamelessmom.com/pajamaparty

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613: Eliza Reynolds: How To Do Your Own Inner Teen Work In Order To Show Up For Your Teen Girl(s) Jan 05, 2022

Show notes

Eliza Reynolds is a best-selling author, speaker, and professional big sibling who keeps it real. She’s spent the last 15 years creating space for preteen and teen girls to be their authentic selves, and now offers online mentorship programs teaching emotional intelligence, embodiment, body literacy, and more for big-hearted preteen and teen girls who are tired of faking it at Badass Girls.

I have a number of friends who have teen girls. I’m learning a lot about this world and - WOW - there is a lot to learn. I’m so grateful to Eliza for her generous work. And I’m very inspired to work on my own inner teen work. I didn’t realize that I had some stuff to heal until Eliza pointed it out. I hope you’ll join me in this venture, as I think it could be critical to our parenting.

Listen in to hear Eliza

The importance of doing our own inner teen work in order to support teens in our lives
The importance of socializing girls to trust themselves
Why we need to talk about the most intense parts of being a teen openly rather than shying away from it - like we probably did back when we were teens
How we can heal our own inner teen in order to help the teens in our lives
How to self regulate as a mom so you can respond rather than react in hard moments of parenting
The steps of moving from dependence to interdependence to independence in parenting
The 3 S’s of toxic mean girl culture
How toxic mean girl culture is still alive and well among grown women - and why it exists beyond the teen years
Why #girlpower is a weary anthem that we need to replace with actual action steps to dismantle systems of oppression and build actual self trust
Why performative confidence is dangerous and damaging
3 ways for any mom to show up for preteen and teen girls in your family and community

Links mentioned:

Sign up for my Plan & Prep Pajama Party
Connect with Eliza: me
Book: Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Kids by Gordon Neufeld
Eliza on IG: @badassgirls.parents and @badassgirls.me
Free Resource: Badass Girls

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