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Shameless Leadership

Welcome to Shameless Leadership! This show is for women, transgender people, non-binary folks, and allies who are committed to advancing their leadership and the leadership of those around them. In this space, we believe everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, valued, and supported. Our mission is to help you foster these feelings within your own circles of influence to build trust, psychological safety, and a culture of belonging.
In each episode, we dive into essential topics impacting women in leadership – everything from shutting down your inner critic and imposter syndrome to overcoming perfectionism to using your voice in new ways to advocate for yourself, your ideas, and other folks carrying marginalized identities. You’ll hear practical tips, effective strategies, and inspiring stories that will not only enhance your leadership skills but also broaden your perspective to become a more confident, thoughtful, and empathetic leader.
Our stories come from people carrying identities who are often underrepresented, underestimated, and excluded. By sharing their experiences, we aim to provide you with invaluable lessons that will transform your leadership journey. We are thrilled to have you join this community of Shameless Leaders who are actively creating a world where everyone, regardless of gender, can intentionally lead through a more curious, compassionate, and inclusive lens.

Latest Episodes:

632: How to Change Your State to Change Your Day Mar 14, 2022

Show notes

Last week I got stuck. A cascade of hard events plus solo parenting for the week plus general pandemic/war/life fatigue caught up with me.

I don’t get stuck often. But every now and then, if I don’t check myself, a series of hard events will send me spiraling into a funkity funk funk.

Last week was a funkity funk funk week for sure.

After sitting in my funkity funk funk for a good 20 hours or so, I decided it was time to pull out my tools.

After many years of defunktifying myself, I know exactly what works for me. After 19 years of coaching women, I know what works for most folks.

If you happen to fall into your own funkity funk funks every now and then, this episode is for you. I’m going to walk you through exactly how to defunktify yourself by changing your state to change your day.

These tools are really simple, but ridiculously and predictably powerful. They WORK.

So, let’s defunktify, shall we?

Link mentioned:

Leave a review for the SMA: shamelessmom.com/review

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

631: Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson: What Fresh Hell - Laughing in the Face of Motherhood Mar 09, 2022

Show notes

Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson, are comedians, mothers, and hosts of the podcast What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood.

What Fresh Hell regularly ranks at the top of the Parenting and Kids and Family charts on Apple Podcasts, and has over five million lifetime downloads. In each episode Margaret and Amy discuss a parenting topic from their usually-completely opposite perspectives.

Amy Wilson is the author of When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, The Worrier, The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be (HarperCollins) and of Mother Load, a one-woman show which she toured to 16 cities after its hit off-Broadway run. She also appeared as a series regular in two sitcoms (Daddio on NBC and Norm on ABC). She and her husband live in New York City with their three kids.

Margaret Ables is a comedian and writer whose work has appeared on MTV, Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, and PBS. Margaret created television shows for Klasky Csupo (creators of Rugrats) and was the head of video production for Nickelodeon’s mom-centric channel NickMom. Margaret also teaches improv and public speaking in correctional facilities for the non-profit organization Rehabilitation Through the Arts. She and her husband live in Westchester, NY with their three kids.

I met Amy and Margaret via our mutual podcast editing team (SHOUT OUT to Christy and Allison!) Christy had a sense we might hit it off and, of course, she was spot on.

Listen in to hear Margaret and Amy share:

How they came together to create WFH and how each bring their unique strengths to create support for parents
how parenting changes and evolves us over the years
why we don’t need to fear or resist the constant growth that parenting provides
Why new ventures and unchartered territory feel so big and daunting as we approach them, but then so much smaller in hindsight
How parenting problems over the years. IE: little kids = lots of problems/easy to solve, big kids = fewer problems, harder to solve
The difference between “easy” parenting and satisfying parenting
What satisfying parenting looks like and how it can look sooo different than what you expected

Links mentioned:

Connect with Margaret and Amy: whatfresshhellpodcast.com
Podcast: What Fresh Hell
WFH on IG
WFH FB Group

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

630: 3 Simple Ways To Start Speaking Up Mar 07, 2022

Show notes

I had the honor of speaking at an event for moms last week. My talk was “How to Play Bigger in Life without Asking Permission.” After my talk, there was time for Q&A and the question folks kept circling back to was, “How do I start to speak up so I can play a bigger game?”

A number of attendees noted they were so in the habit of not speaking up that they didn’t know where or how to start using their voices.

Because women have been socialized to stay small and quiet, we often have to really make a concerted effort to actually use our voices.

I gave these women three steps to start practicing speaking up:

Practice stating your preferences out loud
Practice stating your needs out loud
Practice sharing opposing opinions in neutral ways

These steps are intended to be practiced over time, in this order. Start out with low risk/low exposure steps. The stakes are typically pretty low when you’re stating a preference: “I prefer pepperoni pizza to sausage & mushroom.” Or, “I would prefer to watch Movie ABC vs Movie XYZ this evening.”

Once you’ve practiced this a few times, try to share a need with a loved one: “I need some time to myself, so I’m going to take myself to lunch and a movie this weekend.” Practice this a few times.

Once you’ve practiced #1 and #2 over time, you can move to higher exposure speaking up - where the risks and stakes are higher. This is where you can start to practice sharing an opposing opinion in a neutral way, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. That hasn’t been my experience.” Or, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. I see it differently.” Make sure to listen in to the episode to learn how to do #3 safely, this part is important!

Listen in to learn more about how to practice speaking up - in order to get what you want and, ultimately, in order to impact the world.

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

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629: Jen Kem: Staying Values Driven Through Having It All, Losing It All and Building It All Again Airs Mar 02, 2022

Show notes

Jennifer Kem is a San Francisco Bay Area-based brand building and leadership expert who gets entrepreneurs seen, heard, and paid for being themselves.

She’s the creator of the Master Brand Method: a framework to develop powerful brand archetypes that win customers’ hearts, leveraging Jennifer’s 20 years of corporate experience and her launching of multiple companies.

What she is most passionate about in her work today is her legacy project: Femmefluence, a platform that supports women leaders to fully rise into their influence and affluence, so they can make an even greater impact in the world.

Jennifer serves up straight talk wrapped in love, because she understands entrepreneurs’ challenges. She built a retail business and became a millionaire at 32, only to lose it all in the recession two years later. She is now the successful owner of three million-dollar brand-building businesses and the mother of three children.

I’ve had the opportunity to overlap Jen in a few business groups over the last couple years and she is a force. I finally got to meet her a few months ago and I decided to ask her to be a guest on the show. I was elated when she said yes, as I know she has such a compelling story.

Listen in to hear Jen share:

Her experience of going through a violating event in her corporate career that changed the trajectory of her work and her life
How she went from having it all, to losing it all, to building it all again - all on her own terms as she navigated being a wife and mom
What happened when she built and then lost a 10 million dollar a year business
What it means to be Values Driven and why it’s crucial to know your values in life and work/business
How your values can guide you to make confident and clean decisions
How to find and define your values by clarifying your voids and violations

Links mentioned:

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

628: The Power Of Taking Tiny Action Feb 28, 2022

Show notes

There are times when we look at something we would like to accomplish and it just feels too far out of reach - like the work required to get us to that point is not only completely overwhelming but also elusive in nature.

When we consider taking action we think:

How will I find the time?

How will I find the energy?

How will I acquire the skills?

Do I even have what it takes?

By the time we get through this list of questions, we decide it’s too hard, will take too long, we definitely don’t have the skills and we don’t know where to begin to acquire them.

So, we do nothing.

I want to invite you to an alternative way to take action in your life: practice taking tiny action.

What is tiny action?

Tiny action is those little steps that we are tempted to skip entirely because we falsely assume they don’t matter or won’t make a difference.

But the truth is that if we want to become better action takers, taking tiny action might just be the prerequisite you didn’t know you needed.

Taking tiny action is taking any action step and making it smaller, less overwhelming, less time consuming, less frequent, less energy-consuming.

When we practice taking tiny action over time, we begin to see the effects of compound interest: 10 minutes of exercise each day that boosts energy and productivity
10 minutes of reading each day that inspires our work or our way of thinking
Yoga once a week that alleviates back pain
Date nights once a month that improve our marriage
Asking for what we need from our family once a week that leads to more personal time Speaking up at the monthly office meeting that leads to being considered for a new role at work

As we take action in these small ways, our identity starts to shift and we see ourselves as more capable, more confident, more courageous. We see ourselves as action takers who go after the things we want and actually get them!

This shift is not tiny. Taking tiny action leads to BIG shifts. In this episode, I share 4 ways taking tiny action gives you more power. Then, I share 3 simple steps to taking tiny action #everydamnday.

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

627: Laurel Handfield: From Low Self-Worth And Self-Harm To Creating Books For Girls Of Color Feb 23, 2022

Show notes

Laurel Handfield began her writing career years ago in a small, suburban town outside of Philadelphia, PA. In college, she majored in business marketing and after graduation, she worked in sales, marketing, and advertising. However, a trip to the Bahamas led to a shift in focus and a rediscovery of her true passion: writing.

Her vacation to the islands turned into an unexpected romance when she met and fell in love with her now-husband. After two years in a long-distance relationship, she decided to move to the Bahamas permanently. While life in the Bahamas was slower and more relaxed, she also discovered that her marketing career didn’t hold quite as much opportunity on the islands as it did in the United States, so she went back to creating. She wrote and ghostwrote over five full-length novels, including a fictional tale about the only Black family on the Titanic.

Today, Laurel creates coloring/activity books for young girls of color. She still calls the Bahamas home and enjoys the laid-back island life with her husband, three children, and two dogs.

Listen in to hear Laurel share:

Her journey of building her self esteem as a young Black girl and then a Black woman
The impact of being teased for her looks and physical attributes as a young girl
How the impact of her low self-worth led to self-harm in the form of an eating disorder
How she healed from her low self-esteem and eating disorder - and recognized what an epidemic there was around the struggles she was facing
What inspired her work to create books and coloring books for girls of color
How moms can affirm their daughter’s worth in different ways
Her advice to moms who might want to write a book

Links mentioned:

Join me in Jen Lumanlan’s 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming
Connect with Laurel: www.happyislandpress.com
Laurel’s Books on Amazon: Happy Island Press
Laurel on FB
Laurel on IG
Laurel on TikTok

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

626: Sara & Laura Cathcart Robbins Recap Their Dr. Phil Appearance and CRT Feb 21, 2022

Show notes

Back in August of 2021, I got a text from my dear friend Laura Cathcart Robbins:

“Sara, I know this is crazy, but I’m going on the Dr. Phil show on Wednesday to talk about CRT and they’ve just asked me if I know of any white moms who might be willing to speak as an ally and I thought of you. Would this be something you would consider?”

I thought for a solid 30 seconds, felt like I might vomit, and then said YES.

The next day, I flew to LA to record the show.

It was a whirlwind event around a huge topic: Should Critical Race Theory be Taught in Schools?

This week, I asked Laura if she would come on the SMA (for the 3rd time - WHOOP!) to have a conversation around our experience and around Critical Race Theory in America.

If you’re not familiar with Laura, she is the host of the popular podcast, The Only One In The Room (you must subscribe!), and author of the forthcoming Atria/Simon& Schuster memoir, STASH (due out in spring of 2023). She has been active for many years as a speaker and school trustee and is credited for creating The Buckley School’s nationally recognized committee on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice. Her recent articles in Huffpo and The Temper on the subjects of race, recovery, and divorce have garnered her worldwide acclaim. She is a LA Moth StorySlam winner and currently sits on the advisory boards of the San Diego Writer’s Festival and the Outliers HQ podcast Festival.

In this conversation, Laura and I dig into:

Why each of us said YES to appearing on Dr. Phil
Some of the behind the scenes surprises while taping the show
What Critical Race Theory actually is
Our takeaways from the conversation we had with 6 other guests on the show - all of whom had strong opinions and some very opposed to ours
What the media is actually talking about when they talk about “Critical Race Theory in schools”
Steve Bannon’s involvement in creating an intentionally divisive conversation for Conservatives to more easily pave the road to the White House
What is actually being taught in schools that is being misrepresented as Critical Race Theory
Why age appropriate race education is crucial in schools

Links mentioned:

Join me in Jen Lumanlan’s 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming
Connect with Laura: theonlyonepod.com/
Podcast: The Only One In The Room
Laura on YouTube
Laura on IG

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

625: Melissa Guida-Richards: What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption Feb 16, 2022

Show notes

Melissa Guida-Richards is a Shameless Mom to two little boys and the author of WHAT WHITE PARENTS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION. Melissa uses her gift of writing to help other adoptees and adoptive families. Her work has been featured in The Independent, Zora, Insider, HuffPo, Level at Medium, Electric Literature, Hello Giggles. And she had a viral Huffpost Article, My Adoptive Parents Hid My Racial Identity For 19 Years. She is also a contributing writer for The Everymom.

I am in a Facebook group for writers and when Melissa shared a bit of her story in that group, I immediately reached out to ask her if she’d be willing to join me here on the podcast. I’m so grateful that she said yes.

Listen in to hear Melissa share:

Her adoption story of being adopted from an orphanage in Colombia, being raised in New York, and not being told she was adopted until age 19
The process of discovering she was Latina, not Portuguese Italian, as her family had led her to believe
The process of having her article, My Adoptive Parents Hid My Racial Identity For 19 Years, go viral
The evolution of her relationship with her parents in the years after discovering she was adopted
What inspired her to write her first book, What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption
Important notes for white adoptive parents or prospective white adoptive parents
Her experience of finding her biological sisters and mom
How having her own children created an entire process of grieving around her adoption
How she’s connected to her Colombian culture as an adult and as a mom raising Colombian sons

Links mentioned:

Join me in Jen Lumanlan’s 10-week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming
Connect with Melissa: AdopteeThoughts.com
Melissa’s Book, What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption
Melissa on IG

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

624: 8 Top Triggers for Moms in 2022 Feb 14, 2022

Show notes

For the last couple weeks, I have been talking about triggers in parenting - and life. I had to laugh as I was putting together content for this episode. As I was preparing my notes early one morning, Vinnie told me his “nose was burning.” He shared this about 7 minutes before we were supposed to leave for school. Of course.

Given the current Covid climate, I couldn’t just send him to school. We had to talk through a litany of symptoms, take his temperature, run a rapid Covid test… All the damn things required if one has the slightest inkling their child might be bringing germs to school.

The Covid test came back negative, but with a sore throat (aka “burning nose”) and a bit of congestion on board, V had to stay home from school. This was NOT the plan I had for my day. NOT AT ALL.

I found myself totally triggered in the middle of creating this episode on the top triggers facing moms in 2022. Talk about ironic timing…

I know I’m not the only mom who is super over the constant uncertainty of every single day, the endless pivoting of best laid plans, and the chronic fatigue of juggling 197 things #everydamnday.

In this episode, I share the 8 top triggers impacting moms right now as well. It is my hope that you will feel seen and held as reflect on all that you are being expected to manage right now. Then I offer you some “medicine” to support your mental and emotional health as you continue to show up day after day doing your very best.

As always, we are in this together. I’m losing my shit just as often as you… promise. Let’s stick together, shall we.

Link mentioned:

Join me in Jen Lumanlan’s 10 week Taming Your Triggers workshop: shamelessmom.com/taming

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

623: Jen Lumanlan: Taming Your Triggers In Motherhood Feb 09, 2022

Show notes

Jen Lumanlan holds a Masters in Psychology in Child Development and hosts the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, which is a reference guide for parents of children between the toddler and elementary years based on scientific research and the principles of respectful parenting. In each episode, she examines a topic related to parenting and child development from all sides to help parents understand how to make decisions about raising their children. She lives in California with her husband and daughter.

This is Jen’s second time on the show. She is back this time to talk about taming your triggers in parenting, which is a very timely topic, like every parent I know is feeling especially spread thin and beyond exhausted after enduring the last two years. We dig into the concept of parenting triggers and then Jen coaches me about a trigger that is very front and center in my own parenting journey right now. Please enjoy hearing me get uncomfortable!

Listen in to hear Jen share:

Why you’re feeling triggered by your child's behavior
How your parenting triggers might be connected to your own “little t” traumas or “big T” traumas of your past
How your own trauma of unmet needs impacts your parenting
The “magic bullet” to help you manage guilt and shame in hard parenting moments
Coaching me through raising an extrovert who likes to be really loud all the time
Scripts you can use to navigate conversations with your child so you can both get your needs met in hard moments
The connection between our parenting and smashing the patriarchy
The value in practicing repairing your relationship with your child after having a hard moment
How to work with her (and me!) in her 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers

Links mentioned:

Sign up for Jen’s free Masterclass on February 12th: How to Tame Your Triggers Around Your Child's Difficult Behavior: shamelessmom.com/triggers
Join me and enroll in Jen’s 10-week workshop, Taming Your Triggers between February 13th-23rd: shamelessmom.com/taming
Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Please find our sponsor information here: shamelessmom.com/sponsor/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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