Sex With Dr. Jess

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All About Tantra (Bringing Dr. Jess to Tears) Sep 14, 2018

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Amina Peterson joins Jess to discuss the practice and philosophy of tantra. What is tantric breathing and meditation? How can a body scan improve your sex life an overall well-being? It’s not all about sex, but sex is certainly enhanced by the practice. Amina closes the episode with a brief body scan that moves Jess to a state of deep vulnerability. Follow Amina on... Instagram Youtube Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. I am your host, Jessica O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood Sexologist. And today we are going to be learning all about tantric sex. Joining me is Amina Peterson. Amina is the founder of Fearless Giving Atlanta. Tantra, formerly the Hawaii based Tantra in paradise and the host of the Fix Your Sex podcast. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. So tell us a little bit about Fearless Giving. Okay. So Fearless Giving was born because I watched the Ted talk. So the name was born because of that where there was a Ted talk where a woman was talking about learning to give without the fear of not getting something back. And I thought, Well, that's what I'm doing. I like that. That's the whole point of this. That's the whole point Participant #1: from the sex side of Tantra is that we're offering something so beautiful to someone and we don't have any hangups around whether or not it's going to be reciprocated in a way that we needed to be reciprocated, that we actually get from the give. And so I said, that's going to be my name, Phyllis Gifting. And I was transitioning from Hawaii, and I had to kind of figure it out when I got here from Hawaii to Atlanta, from Hawaii to Atlanta, a bit of a transition. And I moved here for family, being 11 hours in the middle of the ocean for almost twelve years, it starts to get old and you get missing my nieces and nephews and the family and the love and the community and the Southern fried food and the Southern fried food, raw fish is good for me. I really would like some of that. Yeah. Good old green fried tomatoes. Well, I haven't had that. We're actually here in Atlanta right now. I haven't had those fried green tomatoes yet. I guess I need to have that you do before I leave. I can make some recommendations before I leave. That's a great place. Not too far from here. I'm on a food mission. So tell me how you got into Tantra to begin with. Okay. So I actually started off when went to massage school after my second divorce in my 20s. How much you call a quick study? After my second divorce, I had a restaurant. I sold it, and I went to massage school because I had a wonderful massage and I'm a true Aquarius. Oh, yeah. So I go off and I finished my massage school and I start hustling on the side. I'm divorced. I'm not really working full time and kind of just wondering. So I started doing massage therapy, and this was before the Craigslist killer. This was back when it was totally normal. I thought, anyway, in my naive state, not even somewhat sketchy or sexually oriented at all to put an ad on Craigslist and say, I have a massage, come by my house and get one stranger. And so I started doing that. And during that time, all of my men clients were all male clients were pitching tents. Right. There'd be these erections. And I was, like, found out that you could make a little bit more money if you rubbed on them. And so that's what I did. I transitioned from therapeutic massage to therapeutic massage with a happy ending pretty quickly. The happy ending came quickly, or you translate both. I'm very good. That's interesting,

Sexuality & Gender Terms Defined Sep 07, 2018

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Pansexual. Cisgender. Sapiosexual. Gender Queer. Gender Fluid. Agender. Aromantic. Demisexual. Gender Non-confirming. Transgender. Award-winning activist, Aida Manduley, joins Jess on the podcast to discuss terminology related to sex and gender. Which terms are appropriate and which are not? And how we can celebrate inclusion and learn from our own mistakes. Listen below to learn more! Follow Aida on... Twitter Instagram Check out these links that will help you become more familiar with various sexual pronouns... Practice With Pronouns Minus 18 This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexuality & Gender Terms Defined Participant #1: Welcome to the Sex With Dr jazz podcast. I'm Jessica O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. Before we get started, I want to say a big thank you to at Desire Resorts for their support. I'm heading to Desire in October and January. It's a clothing optional environment with two locations on the Mayan Riviera. Check them out at Desire Resorts. As you know, if you've tuned in before my partner, the love of my life, Brandon often joins me for these podcasts. And moving forward, Brandon is going to be on the air for almost every episode if I can pin him down because you folks seem to like him, and I really like him, too. And I find that I'm more myself. I'm more calm. I'm ultimately better at my job when he's next to me for a number of reasons, including the fact that it's actually really tough to be a woman in the public eye and having a man by your side means that you receive less harassment, less vitriol, and fewer Dick pics. But also he's just a really funny, empathetic, insightful person, and he brings a perspective as a non sexuality, non relationship professional that I just don't offer. So I was hoping that Brendan would be here today, but I'm in Atlanta for Sexton South, and he's in Toronto doing his business thing so he couldn't be here. But Brandon is the inspiration for this episode. He's excited to be a part of the podcast, so he says, but he's mentioned that he's nervous because talking about sex and relationships and gender can feel really stressful for him because of all the new terminology. So he's kind of afraid to use the wrong words. So here's what Brandon has to say on the topic with apologies that he's not live with us right now. I know that it's my job to educate myself on the proper use of pronouns when I'm identifying somebody, whether it's transgender, lesbian, gay, straight, queer by it's my job. I understand that, but I didn't grow up around a lot of people who identified other than their visible gender. Even right now, I'm already thinking about things I'm like, how should I say this? And I don't want to be rude or insensitive in conversation with other people, and until we all adopt the use of they, my question is, how do I go about demonstrating my willingness to use the appropriate terms? But if I make a mistake not making a big deal out of it being apologetic for the mistake because I do find that in certain environments, I'm afraid to contribute for fear of saying the wrong thing. And that may sound really silly, but it's the truth. I'm just afraid of using the wrong thing and then looking like an idiot or looking like I'm not sympathetic. And then if I do apologize, am I making too big of a deal out of it? And I just want to make sure that I'm being as inclusive as I can while being very sensitive to the identifiers of those people around me. So even though Brandon can't be here today, we're going to be talking about this topic and defining a number of sexuality and gender relat...

What Can We Learn From Celebrity Relationships? Aug 31, 2018

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Are on-again-off-again relationships healthy? How can we break bad relationship habits? How do you recover after cheating? And how do you know if your work crush is crossing the line? Therapists Eboni Harris & Eliza Boquin join Jess to share their insights on these topics and more. They’ve got some great advice so make sure you tune in! Follow Eboni on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Follow Eliza on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Follow Melanin Mental Health on... Facebook Instagram Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

All About Anal Aug 24, 2018

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All About Anal Play: Pleasure, Prep & Pro Tips If you’re interested in anal sex facts and curious about the butt and its potential for pleasure, tune into this podcast and enjoy the lessons in anatomy, pleasure, technique and more! Thank you for listening to our podcast and reading this blog! From both of us (Dr. Jess and B), we’re grateful you’re here. When you use our discount code - DRJESSVIP - and click on our affiliate links, you help support this work (we receive a small commission)—your pleasure funds our pleasure-positive mission. Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! For more anal sex tips and info, check out these posts: Anal Sex Tips 9 Anal Pleasure Techniques (For Your Fingers & Tongue) Why do women like Anal Sex? Sex Q&A: Anal, Hot-Wifing, Sexless Marriages & Much More TL;DR - All about Anal The butt is built for pleasure: With thousands of sensitive nerve endings and orgasmic potential for all genders, the anus is one of your body’s most underrated hot spots. Orgasms + taboo = 🔥 Research from Indiana University found that 94% of women who had anal sex during their last encounter orgasmed—more than oral or vaginal alone. Explore before you insert: Solo anal play builds comfort and helps you understand your body. Licking, kissing, massaging, no penetration required. Lube is not optional: Use plenty (we recommend silicone-based for longevity) and skip numbing creams — they mask essential feedback from your body. Control, communication & fiber: Choose positions that give the receptive partner control, talk before and during, and eat your veggies — gut health affects pleasure. Fingers and tongues FTW: The best techniques are often shallow and slow. Try moves like the “Dear Daisy,” “Eat Your Heart Out,” or “Slip N’ Slide” to tease and please without pressure. Toy tips? The We-Vibe Ditto and Vector are top-tier options for beginners and prostate pleasure seekers alike. All About Anal Play What! what! In the butt! Your bum is one of the most responsive erogenous zones on your body, so exploring its pleasure potential is a no-brainer. Not only is the anus rich in super-sensitive nerve endings, but it is actually anatomically configured for mind-blowing orgasms for both men and women: the male G-Spot, also known as the prostate, and the female cul-de-sac, that sexy region on the lower vaginal wall, can be stimulated through the back door. Despite the climax-centered design of the bum, anal sex continues to retain its taboo status...at least in theory. In reality, however, anal sex is quite common. Research suggests that nearly half of men and women have engaged in anal intercourse and orgasm rates are actually higher for women who include anal play in their erotic repertoire. That’s right! Among women who had anal sex during their last encounter, 94 percent had an orgasm versus only 84 percent of those who received oral and 65 percent of those who had vaginal intercourse (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University) Couple the powerful potential for orgasm with the thrill of defying one of the most intense and enduring sexual taboos and you have the perfect recipe for spicing up your sex life through the back door! But since the tissue and nerve endings of the anal area are so sensitive, it is essential to follow some basic guidelines to make sure your experience is as hot as possible:

How to be Happy After 51 Years of Marriage Aug 17, 2018

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Uncle Mike (Captain Lyn - @lyn.mike) joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on marriage after 51+ years. Have a listen! With age comes wisdom and even if his experience is different than your own, you’ll find pearls of wisdom worth taking to heart. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

How to Talk About Sex, Sex Webcams & More! Aug 10, 2018

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Jess & Brandon model a “how-to-talk-about-sex” conversation in response to a listener’s question — they share their unprepared responses on the spot. They also weigh in on spicing up date night, watching web-cam models, sex clubs, sleeping after sex & how long to wait before having sex with a new partner. Please find a rough summary of the podcast below. We are working on providing full transcripts for all podcasts. Welcome to the SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist and I’m here with my better half, Brandon Ware. Today, we’ll be answering listener questions about sex and relationships. Before we get started, I’d like to thank Desire Resorts for their support and remind you that we’ll be facilitating workshops at both properties in Mexico on October 24-25, 2018. More details can be found here. Question: I listened to your podcast on sex clubs and we’ve talked about going, but I’m just not there yet. I’m fine with watching porn, but the idea of real live people freaks me out. My girlfriend really wants to go and you always say to take baby steps, so is there something we can try in the meantime until I’m ready? Just talk about going and play around with the idea. Go to dinner and drive by a club without going in — make out in the car instead. Or talk about all the naughty things you’ll do at a club while having sex at home — with no pressure to follow through in real life. Not everyone likes sex clubs and you certainly don’t have to visit one if you’re not into it. Another option… Sign into an adult webcam room featuring another couple. This may be a little risque, but more couples are joining in on the fun from the safety of their own bedrooms. Webcam models perform live and you can even make requests if you’d like. The couples I’ve met who visit webcams (often for special occasions) say that they like the spontaneity and the fact that they’re not overproduced like porn. If you’re considering this option, talk to your partner ahead of time to discuss your concerns and desires. Some questions you might want to address: 1. If we do this together, does it mean we can do it alone? Set boundaries and agree on what is acceptable within the confines of your relationship. Don’t worry about what others (including experts) have to say. You decide what is dis/allowed in your own relationship as a team. 2. Are we willing to interact (chat) with the models or just watch? 3. Are you nervous about the experience? What makes you nervous? What can your partner do to assuage your concerns? 4. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, how will you address this? Will you close the computer? Take a break? Use a sign to communicate your discomfort? 5. If you’re using a pay site (many offer free access), what spending limit do you want to set? Be honest about your desires and boundaries. You are not a prude if you’re not into adult webcams. You don’t have to do everything to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life. Question: I saw your story about UberEats as date night and I voted yes on both accounts and I’m wondering what you and Brandon do for date night cuz you look so happy together. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE3236InlD1gWgLzfonvoh5I4gX7g9PS8Z3Q2fwTNMigbE94u3s", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiMjYxODQxNTNmYjIyNGRkMmE1NTEzZDE5MzczMzZjMWQifQ==", theme: "9ae8bbe8dd964ddc9bdb932cca1cb59a", container: document.querySelector( "#vdovoh5I4gX7g" ), }); Question: I saw your post on Instagram about having intense conversations. Can you give me some examples of questions I can ask my...

Single Girl Problems Aug 03, 2018

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Single? Dating? Coupled? Whatever your relationship status, it’s time to take responsibility for your own happiness. Andrea Bain, host of the “Single Girl Problems” podcast joins Jess to share insights and advice for both couples and singles. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Follow Andrea on... Twitter Instagram Here’s a summary of the dating and relationship advice Jess and Andrea discuss in this podcast: 1. Don’t treat a date like an interview. Do not get hung up on assessing their assets and deficits. Instead, just stay focused on how you're feeling in the moment. How you feel about yourself in the presence of another person is a very good measure of the relationship. Think about it — it applies to your boss, to clients, to work teams, to your parents, your lovers, your siblings. Stop measuring and start feeling. If that sounds too abstract, let me get a bit more specific. Each time you catch yourself assessing a date or analyzing your compatibility, wiggle your toes to distract yourself from those thoughts and come back to the present moment and get in your feelings. Take a breath and feel what’s happening in your tummy or in your body. This is so important for relationships and sex — in general — whether your single and dating or in a relationship. Because we fall into the habit of spectator-ing - instead of enjoying or experiencing the moment, we look in from the outside to see how it’s going like a spectator. In the bedroom, this detracts from pleasure and arousal and actually can lead to sexual issues. In fights, it can be a problem because we focus on winning an argument or telling our partner that they’re doing something wrong instead of focusing on the issue and feelings at hand. When we become a spectator - on a date, at the dinner table or in the bedroom, we can’t be present and if you aren’t being present, you’re not giving your partner or your date what they deserve. So if you catch yourself assessing the situation, cut it out. One breath, a giggle, a joke, a flirtation, a touch of the hand, a sip of wine — do something physical to bring yourself back to the present. 2. I’d love to see all first dates happen in groups. If I was dating right now and I met someone online, I’d invite them to join me on an outing I already had planned with friends — something short and casual like grabbing a drink after work or inviting them to stop into a birthday party I’m already attending, but I like the group date for two reasons: your friends not only influence your relationship (if they like your partner it can have a positive effect on your relationship) and younger folks are doing this — the group dating thing — and I think they have a better approach to relationships - they talk about them more, they aren’t as jaded and they get that what works for their best friend may not work for them. The over 30 crowd doesn’t seem to get this, so let’s learn from the teens and 20 somethings and do the group date thing. I suggested this to a client last summer and they tried it a few times with a few guys they met on Bumble and she’s in a relationship today — almost a year later. It’s one case, but it’s worth giving it a try. 3. Lastly, I’d like to emphasize that I’m a fan of online dating but only because it broadens your pool. I’m certain that it really doesn’t matter how you meet - in person or online because all relationships regardless of how you initially connect can grow into something amazing…but if you’re dating online I also suggest that you date in person and you make an announcement. If you’re single and looking, tell people! Stand up and tell your friends at the dinner table - tell them what you’re looking for and ask them to make introductions. 4. And I have one more thing to say because it’s my podcast so even though I said I had three things I’m changing my mind to four — couples - stop leaving single people out. Invite them along! Include your single friends.

Online Infidelity Jul 27, 2018

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Jess and Brandon share their insights on what constitutes online cheating and how to handle disagreements about chatting with exes and others online. In another podcast episode, Jess discuss why it's important to talk about infidelity with your partner. Listen here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Sex Q&A: How to Get Your Partner to Open Up, How to Manage Mismatched Libidos, Anal Sex & More! Jul 20, 2018

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Jess and Brandon team up to answer listener questions about anal sex, discrepancies in desire, how to get your partner to talk about fantasies and more. They share personal insights and open up about some of their sexual experiences (even if Brandon doesn’t seem to remember all of them!). Jess and Brandon take to Instagram Stories to answer some additional questions, check it out below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE323BX8fEvv3XzNvfcbrx7xkATA93MIAbleOLQTMdIIfBAJ0ju", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiZjVjOTNlN2FmYTdkNDBjNTlkYzQ0ZThkYjcwNjQwYmIifQ==", theme: "9ae8bbe8dd964ddc9bdb932cca1cb59a", container: document.querySelector( "#vdobrx7xkATA9" ), }); This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Why We Misread Our Partners & What We Can Do About It Jul 13, 2018

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Dr. Liz Powell joins Jess and Brandon to discuss how “hot thoughts” sabotage relationships. They also discuss friendships, gender roles and share personal stories of relationship struggles. Follow Dr. Liz on... Twitter Instagram Facebook Check out Dr. Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

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