Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Latest Episodes:

Sexless Marriages Oct 30, 2019

Show notes

About the Episode

Around 20% of marriages are sexless. That is, the couple has sexual activity ten or fewer times per year. About ten years ago, a New York Times study indicated that 15% of couples haven't had sex in at least six months.

Sexlessness in a marriage can be a source of deep pain—and if often reflects pain as well.

Today we're going to talk about sexless marriages and what you can do about it if you're in one.

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible

What does God have to say about sexless marriages? "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Song of Songs "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 "'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! - Song of Songs 7:6 Resources

Shower Power Oct 15, 2019

Show notes

Episode 69: Shower Power About this episode

Today we're talking about bathing and showering—not just having sex in a shower or bathtub, but the whole kit-and-caboodle. You'll see what we mean once we get started.

Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible

What does God have to say about sex and showers (or bathing)?

Song of Songs 4:15 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon.

Song of Songs 5:12-16 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.

Resources

Listener Questions Oct 01, 2019

Show notes

About This Episode

Today's listener questions are:

My husband is really interested in me swallowing during oral sex. I don't get it. I honestly don't want to work up to it; it's already taken a lot of effort just to give bjs and oral sex to him. But he keeps asking. I'm not sure what to do - keep saying no, or work through my gag reflex and dislike of the smell and try it? To be honest, it kind of grosses me out even thinking of swallowing. I've tried using the gag reflex sprays too and it doesn't help much. I just need some advice.
I've read in some books and blogs God's biblical design and purpose is that sex is a) for reproduction b) for pleasure c) creating intimacy - these three purposes are independent of each other — reproduction is possible without pleasure/intimacy or pleasure can be possible without procreation. -the maximum goal of the Lord is intimacy, for happiness of the couple and because marriage represents intimacy between church and Jesus So.. Do you think it's possible to have real intimacy without pleasure in sex? Like saying "if sex is not really pleasurable then intimacy is not really close" or "the greatest the pleasure the stronger the intimacy" or "a marriage can't have actual intimacy without good sex" or "no sex, no intimacy", etc. I know is a kind of strong question but I am struggling with this thought because I've read the three independent purposes of sex at some blogs/books, but I feel some explanations are missing, specially for we wives striving with orgasm or painful intercourse or trouble with arousal, so "pleasurable" is hardly a way to define sex life.

Sponsor

Learn About Married Dance Here (affiliate link)

From the Bible

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I have come to my garden-my sister, my bride. I gather my myrrh with my spices. I eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, friends! Drink, be intoxicated with love! – Song of Songs 5:1

Resources

What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Sex's Primary Job is not Lust Management - Bonny's OysterBed7 International Pelvic Pain Society National Vulvodynia Association Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow? - The Forgiven Wife Enjoying Your Husband's Semen - The Forgiven Wife Dealing with a Gag Reflex - The Forgiven Wife Goodhead Fundamentals Kit from Married Dance (affiliate link) Marital Aid Pilot Program from Married Dance (affiliate link) When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn't Possible - Messy Marriage Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife Episode 65: Female Sexual Health Q&A with J: Should You Just Swallow Already? Is Giving a "Blow Job" Enjoyable for the Wife?

Upcoming Webinar

Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands) - November 14, 2019

Romance and Your Bedroom Sep 17, 2019

Show notes

About this episode

Today we're talking about bedrooms, specifically the effect of your bedroom on the quality of sex and intimacy in your marriage.

Can a couple's bedroom affect romance and/or sex in their marriage?
What kinds of things about a bedroom are most likely to negatively and positively affect romance and sex?
What are some simple things that wives or couples can do to improve the state of their bedroom?
What could they do that costs very little or offers a lot of improvement for a little bit of effort?

Sponsor

FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10

Click to Learn More

From the Bible

What does God have to say about the bedroom?

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. Song of Songs 1:16-17

Resources

Higher Desire Wives Sep 04, 2019

Show notes

About the Episode

Today we're talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you'll benefit from our conversation.

Let's begin by defining "higher drive wives." Are these just wives who want an excessive amount of sex? What makes a wife higher drive or desire?
The standard presumption is that husbands want sex more than their wives. Why has this message been so prevalent, and why do we need to change it?
What are some reasons why husbands might have less sexual interest than their wives?
What do you think lower interest spouses wish their higher desire spouses understood about their sexuality?
Are higher desire wives represented anywhere in Scripture?

Sponsor

FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10

Click Here to Learn More

From the Bible

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

"Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love" (Song of Songs 7:12).

"All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves" (Song of Songs 3:1-2).

Resources

Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture

"Dealing with a Low-Desire Husband," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design , J. Parker

5 Truths for High-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

I Love My High Sex-Drive Sisters - OysterBed7

Q&A with J: When It Comes to Sex, My Husband Says I'm "Too Much" - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Prayer for Higher-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Q&A with J: What If Hubby Is Passive in the Bedroom - Hot, Holy & Humorous

High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Letter to the Low-Drive Husband - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Hot, Holy & Humorous HD, Facebook group for higher desire wives

Click Here to Register or Learn More

Female Sexual Health Aug 20, 2019

Show notes

About the Episode

Today, we are discussing female genital and reproductive health. What we affectionately call "hooha" health.

What are some issues that women have in terms of genital or reproductive health?
Focusing on the vulva and exterior lady parts, what kinds of things are red flags that someone should see the doctor?
Thinking about our internal reproductive organs (vagina, cervix, uterus), what are some red flags?
Now let's shift focus and talk about sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
What other practical suggestions for remaining intimate with health problems or STI/STD can you offer?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More about Everpillow

From the Bible

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-10.

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 1:2.

Resources

Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Center of Disease Control
Little Known Perimenopause Symptom (Unending Period) - OysterBed7
Is an STD Affecting Your Marriage - Hot, Holy, & Humorous
No More Period, Period. - Hot, Holy & Humorous (on endometrial ablation)
Finding a Good Gynecologist - Hot, Holy & Humorous
Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy Without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife
13 Things I Heard at a Sexual Wellness Class - The Forgiven Wife
An Embarrassing Post about Female Sexual Dysfunction (Plus 5 Tips!) - The Forgiven Wife
Azo Urinary Pain Relief (affiliate link)
Monistat - Miconazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link)
Clotrimazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link)
Sliquid Feminine Wash from Marriage Spice (affiliate link)
Bump Patrol After Shave Serum (affiliate link)
Dr. Smith's cream (affiliate link)

Click Here to Register or Learn More

Healing from Sexual Abuse Aug 06, 2019

Show notes

Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth

Many of our listeners are survivors of sexual abuse, or we know someone who is. We'd like to talk today about how that trauma shapes survivors, how it affects their marriages, what healing looks like, and what we can do as the church to support survivors.

We are joined by Mary DeMuth, an advocate, author, and survivor herself. Mary has a new book coming out August 13: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis.

Sponsor Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off.

Learn more about Everpillow by Infinite Moon

From the Bible

What does God have to say about healing and sexual abuse?

Luke 4:17-21 - . . . and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,because he has anointed meto proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisonersand recovery of sight for the blind,to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan

The Book of Job

Genesis 1:2 - Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Resources

(Includes affiliate links)

Sexy Talk Jul 23, 2019

Show notes

We're addressing the topic of how we talk with our husbands to create a sexier and more intimate atmosphere for the bedroom.

What defines "sexy talk"? What does that look like?
As Christians, what kind of sexy talk is okay or not okay?
How can we incorporate sexy talk into our repertoire? What are some specific ideas to get started or rev things up?
Does the Bible have more to say about sexy talk?

Sponsor

Click Here to Learn More about Lorals

This episode was also sponsored in part by the Honeycomb & Spice Community.

Click Here to Check Out Honeycomb & Spice

From the Bible

My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

Resources

Talking Flirty vs. Talking Dirty – Hot, Holy & Humorous Say What? Sexy Talk in the Bedroom – The Forgiven Wife Flirt with Your Husband (12 SFW Text Messages) – OysterBed7 15 Flirty, Corny, Steamy SFW Texts For Valentine's Day – OysterBed7 Say the Magic Word! – OysterBed7 How to use Apple iPhone's Invisible Ink Bitmoji

Webinars: https://forchristianwives.com/2019-webinar-series/

Listener Questions Jul 09, 2019

Show notes

Episode 61: Listener Questions About This Episode

Today, we are answering some of your questions!

How do I practically and emotionally manage the messiness of love making?
How do I talk to my husband about his premature ejaculation?
Is it normal to feel self conscious about the way my vulva looks?

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

Click here to learn more about Everpillow This episode was also sponsored in part by Pillow Talk, by J. Parker. Click here to learn more about Pillow Talk From the Bible

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:18-19

Resources

Wall of white vulva – Huffington Post article Enjoying Your Husband's Semen – The Forgiven Wife A Wife's Breasts Have History! – The Forgiven Wife (guest post by a man) Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones – The Forgiven Wife Episode 14: Guy Talk – A Wife's Beauty Episode 58: Orgasm The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment – Clifford Penner and Joyce J. Penner 2019 Webinar Series Webinar teaser on YouTube Why Are You Leaking After Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples – J. Parker

Vacation Sex Jun 25, 2019

Show notes

Episode 60: Vacation Sex

Today we're talking about vacation sex. We're recording this episode at the beginning of summer, a time when many couples and families take a vacation. But, whether you're planning a vacation or not this year (or if you're listening at another time of year), this episode is for you too. Because we're going to take a broad view of the term "vacation sex," and look at ways to enjoy it any time of the year, without having to travel or spend a lot of money.

We talk about why some women find it easier to enjoy sex on vacation, while others find it to be harder. And we explore ways to extend the definition of "vacation," so that it doesn't always require a lot of time and money. Finally, we look at ways to slow down and make summer less stressful and more enjoyable, whether you take a "vacation" or not.

Sponsor: Everpillow by Infinitemoon

Use SEXCHAT10 in your cart for 10% off

Click here to learn more about Everpillow

This episode was also sponsored in part by Married Dance, a discreet store where married Christians can shop for marital aids.

Visit Married Dance

From the Bible

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love. - Song of Songs 7:11-12

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

Resources

How to Have Vaca tion Sex - Even if You're Not on Vacation - CalmHealthySexy
9 Ways to Relax and Enjoy the Summer - CalmHealthySexy
How to Enjoy Your Summer Vacation - CalmHealthySexy
Travel and Sex - Bonny's OysterBed7
Vacationing with Hubby: How to Make It Better - Hot, Holy & Humorous

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected