Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 319: The Bogus BDSM Legal Defense Aug 16, 2024

Show notes

Was it consensual kink or sexual abuse? This question is at the heart of a growing number of legal cases. Unfortunately, people sometimes try to claim consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence, a trend my guest today refers to as “the bogus BDSM defense.” In this show, we’re going to dive into a few recent cases where the bogus BDSM defense has been deployed, as well as the signs that can help us to distinguish between consensual kink and sexual violence.

I am joined once again by Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, and has authored a book chapter on the bogus BDSM defense.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

What does the “bogus BDSM defense” look like?
Is this defense ever successful in terms of avoiding conviction or leading to a reduced sentence?
How does the bogus BDSM defense intersect with race and respectability politics?
How can we prevent people from using claims of consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence?

You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 318: What Comes After Nonmonogamy? Aug 13, 2024

Show notes

When people become nonmonogamous, they don’t always stay nonmonogamous for life. Sometimes people decide to take a temporary break from it. Other times, people stop practicing it altogether because it’s just not what they want or need anymore. Maybe they only want to pursue one relationship right now, or perhaps they just want to be single. So what does a post nonmonogamous life look like? That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode.

My guest today is Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.”

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

What does post nonmonogamy look like?
What are the main reasons people become post-nonmonogamous?
Is post-nonmonogamy a temporary or permanent state?
In what ways can post-nonmonogamy be rewarding? In what ways it is challenging?

You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 317: The Psychology of Consensual Non-Consent Fantasies Aug 09, 2024

Show notes

A common theme in many people’s sexual fantasies is being “forced” to have sex. In the world of kink, this is widely known as consensual non-consent (CNC). So why is this such a popular sexual interest? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the psychology behind it. We’re also going to delve into some of the political aspects of CNC fantasies and discuss how the growing emphasis on affirmative and enthusiastic consent might paradoxically be making these fantasies more popular than ever.

I am joined once again by Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

What does a CNC fantasy look like?
What are some reasons people might be into CNC?
What is the role of fear in sexual arousal?
Why do people often struggle with feelings of shame around CNC fantasies, and how can they come to terms with it?

You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 316: Why Are People Into That? The Truth About Fetishes Aug 06, 2024

Show notes

People have the potential to develop fetishes for virtually anything. If you can think of it, somebody probably has a fetish for it! However, fetishes remain among the most misunderstood and stigmatized sexual interests. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the world of fetishes and dispel some common misconceptions about them. We’ll also discuss a new way of thinking about fetishes, as well as tips for how to communicate about fetish interests with a partner.

My guest is Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

What is the advantage of thinking about fetishes as “something I have a taste for?”
Where do fetishes come from?
How important is it to know where fetishes come from? Does their origin really matter?
Does having a fetish necessarily involve an exclusive attraction to a specific object?
How can people incorporate fetishes into their sex lives in a healthy way?

You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 315: My Partner Has an STI. What Do I Do? Aug 02, 2024

Show notes

Imagine for a moment that your partner told you they had a sexually transmitted infection. What should (and shouldn’t) you say or do in that situation? That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode: tips for navigating a partner’s STI disclosure. Some of the topics we’ll explore include tips for keeping the conversation productive and not perpetuating STI stigma, how to manage a relationship where one partner has an STI and the other doesn’t, and what it means when someone in a long-term relationship suddenly tests positive for an STI.

I am joined once again Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as a research and evaluation specialist for the Substance Misuse & Addiction Resource for Tennessee (SMART) Initiative at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

When a parter discloses an STI, how do you keep the conversation positive and productive?
How do you manage a herpes, HPV, or HIV infection in dating and relationships?
Does a partner suddenly testing positive for an STI necessarily mean they were cheating?
Where can people go to learn more about managing and treating STIs?

You can connect with Kayley on LinkedIn here.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 314: How To Tell Your Partner You Have An STI Jul 30, 2024

Show notes

A lot of people find it hard to talk to their partners about sex in general. But discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) specifically can be even more challenging. It is such a fraught topic that many people who have STIs don’t even tell their partners. That’s why I’ve put together a two-part series for you on STI disclosure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to tell your partner you have an STI. In the next episode, we’re going to explore what to do when your partner tells you they have an STI.

My guest today is Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as a research and evaluation specialist for the Substance Misuse & Addiction Resource for Tennessee (SMART) Initiative at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

At any given point in time, how many people have an STI?
How many people who have an STI actually disclose this information?
What are the main reasons people with STIs don’t tell their partners about their status?
When is the right time to tell a partner that you have an STI?
What are some strategies for bringing up the subject of STIs with a partner?

You can connect with Kayley on LinkedIn here.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription.

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 313: Ashley Madison – Sex, Lies, and Scandal Jul 26, 2024

Show notes

“Life is short, have an affair.” That’s the tagline of Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to married people who are looking to commit infidelity. Ever since its launch in 2002, it has been the subject of endless controversy, culminating in a widely reported data breech in 2015. A Netflix documentary series titled Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies, and Scandal recently premiered and it is fascinating! In today’s show we’re going to dive into this series and talk all about infidelity, including why so many people cheat in the first place.

I am joined once again by Ashley Weller (who bears no relation to Ashley Madison). She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

How do men’s and women’s reasons for infidelity differ?
Why are so many people willing to risk everything in order to have an affair?
What impact did the Ashley Madison hack have on the company and its users?
Why does Ashley Madison seem more popular than ever despite the hack that destroyed so many people’s lives?

You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 312: Why MILFs Are More Popular Than Ever Jul 23, 2024

Show notes

MILFs are having a moment. Sexy moms have been a fixture in the popular media for decades, but they’ve never been more popular than they are now. So what’s behind the appeal of the MILF? And is all of the attention they’re receiving objectifying or empowering to women? Today, we’re going to trace the history of hot moms in the popular media and explore the rise of the MILF. We’re also going to dive into season two of the popular dumpster fire of a television series known as MILF Manor (for a recap of season one, see episodes 223 and 224).

My guest is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the specific topics we cover in this episode include:

When did our cultural fascination with hot moms begin?
What are the most common critiques of MILF portrayals in the media?
How are broader changes in society and the social structure related to the rise in MILF popularity?
How is season 2 of MILF Manor different from the first?
How is MILF Manor changing the conversation about MILFs?

You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP.

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 311: The Power of Touch in Relationships Jul 19, 2024

Show notes

Physical intimacy is one of the keys to maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships. But I’m not just talking about sex. Non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so! In today’s show, we’re going to explore why touch is so powerful and tips for introducing more touch into your relationships. We’ll also discuss why, paradoxically, intimate partners often retreat from touch at the times they need it the most—and how to deal with this.

I am joined once again by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

Why do we need touch, and why are so many of us “touch-starved?”
How can we open the door to intimate touch when we feel stressed?
How can lovers experience more affection and physical intimacy in their relationships?
What are some things that people can do to become better at both giving and receiving touch?

To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Erotic Touch Mastery course.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 310: Tips and Tricks for Better Oral Sex Jul 16, 2024

Show notes

Most people say that they find oral sex to be a pleasurable activity, but that doesn’t mean that people always enjoy giving or receiving it. A quick search on social media reveals countless posts from people reporting on bad experiences with oral sex, so let’s talk about how to have better oral. In today’s show, we’re going to explore tips and techniques for amazing oral sex. We’ll also discuss what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex, how to make sixty-nining fun, and so much more.

My guests today are Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics.

Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include:

Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect recipe for oral sex a myth?
How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, such as boredom or discomfort?
What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate your oral experiences?
What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love to do?
What are the essential factors that make oral sex great?

To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

***

Thank you to our sponsors!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Sex and Psychology Podcast

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected