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    Kids & Family

    Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron

    You don’t snap at your kids because you’re a bad parent. You snap because your stress builds faster than your awareness, and no one ever taught you how to handle that.

    I’m Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience and founder of Curious Neuron. I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast for parents who care deeply, know a lot, and still find themselves overwhelmed in the real moments.

    This is not a podcast where I tell you how to be a perfect parent. I’m in it with you.

    Each week, I invite you into my own reflections:

    • what I’m learning from scientific articles and books,
    • what I’m noticing in my nervous system and emotions,
    • and what real parents and experts teach me in conversation.

    Together, we get curious about why we snap, shut down, or over-function in conflict, and what’s actually happening in our brain and body when we do. We talk about stress, shame, repair, boundaries, playfulness, and the quiet moments no one sees—so you can start to recognize your patterns and gently shift them.

    By listening, you’ll learn to:

    • notice your stress and body signals earlier,
    • understand the lenses and stories that intensify hard moments,
    • regulate your nervous system when parenting feels like “too much”,
    • and handle conflict with more calm, clarity, and repair.
    • But more than that, you’ll have a companion in the work.

    I’ll share where I struggle, what I’m practicing, and how I’m trying to grow, so you don’t feel like the only parent who finds this hard.

    If you’re ready to move away from “perfect” parenting and toward reflective parenting—where every tough moment becomes data, not failure—pull up a chair. 

    Let’s learn, feel, and grow together.

    Find out which book I will be covering next month:

    https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/ 

    Join the private group on Facebook:

    www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/

    Start training your emotional awareness for FREE:

    https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

    Purchase my course The Emotionally Aware Parent.

    https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Follow us on Instagram @drcindyhovington or Facebook @curiousneuronparenting

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 Curious Neuron | Science of Parental Well-Being

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    Latest Episodes:
    3 reflections on what my grandma taught me about parenting Jun 16, 2026
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    This was a hard episode for me to record but I needed to honour my grandmother who passed away yesterday.

    Today's reflections are:

    1. Does my child feel loved and respected by me?
    2. Does my child feel like they belong?
    3. Do I help my child build their confidence by letting them fail or giving them opportunities to prove to themselves that they can do it

    I hope you enjoy this episode and that it helps you reflect on how you are showing up for your child in every day actions. This was a reminder for me as well! (no one is perfect!)

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    3 reflections on self-love (and how this will nourish your happiness) Jun 09, 2026
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    This week, we are reflecting on our self-love.

    This week's reflections are:

    1. How do I nourish my happiness?
    2. Do I see my body and mind as my home?
    3. How do you feed your mind and body?

    As parents I think we need to remember to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly nourishes us. This reminds us that we matter and that we do love ourselves. These reflections are inspired by the book How to Love. I hope this week's episode can help you be more intentional with what you consume so you can show up with more calm and connection in your daily lives.

    Book: How to love by Thich Nhat Hanh (Amazon.com)

    My conversation with Dr.Kristen Neff:

    https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000652462526

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Why self-care isn't working for you Jun 02, 2026
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    I'm Back!


    After five months away from the microphone, I'm finally back.

    If you've been wondering where I've been, thank you for checking in. Your emails, messages, and support meant more to me than you know.

    I explain what happened in this episode and share how this time away also gave me space to reflect.

    In also share what I've been learning about capacity the idea that our ability to cope, connect, parent, and respond changes throughout the day based on what's happening around us and within us.

    We often tell ourselves that we don't have time for self-care.

    But what if the real question isn't about self-care at all?

    What if it's about learning to notice and respond to our needs?

    In this episode, we explore:

    • Why "I don't have time for self-care" may be the wrong question
    • What Capacity Mountain taught me about stress and emotional well-being
    • The three categories of needs that most parents overlook: Body, Mind, and Connection
    • How small intentional pauses can help you show up differently for your child
    • Why many of us have forgotten what our needs even are
    • A simple way to start noticing what is draining—and replenishing—your capacity

    This episode marks a new chapter for the podcast and for Curious Neuron.

    Whether you've been here since the beginning or you're joining for the first time, I'm grateful you're here.

    Let's reconnect, reflect, and continue this journey together.


    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    You, Your Husband, and His Mother: Untangling a Tricky Family Dynamic with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish Dec 16, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Family dynamics can feel especially intense around the holidays and one of the most challenging patterns many parents face is the triangle between you, your partner, and your mother-in-law. In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish returns to the podcast to help us make sense of this dynamic with compassion, clarity, and evidence-based tools.

    In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and author of You, Your Husband & His Mother, to unpack why the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law dynamic is so emotionally charged and how it quietly strains couples.

    We talk about boundaries, guilt, generational differences, cultural expectations, and what couples can do to stop feeling divided and start acting as a solid team.

    In this episode, we cover:

    • Why this family dynamic is uniquely triggering
    • How boundaries get misunderstood and what actually works
    • What to do when your partner shuts down or minimizes the issue
    • How to recover after a difficult family gathering
    • Why connection comes before problem-solving

    Join me for a free Webinar on December 17th at 8pm (and get the replay!):

    https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904


    You can purchase Tracy's book, You, Your Husband and Your Mother in Law, in the US or in Canada. You can also get her first book (which I also highly recommend called "I didn't Sign up for This" in the US or Canada.


    Listen to my previous conversation with Tracy below:

    https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000627417247

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Your Triggers Aren’t a Parenting Failure — They’re a Signal Dec 08, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    If you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you.

    Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond.

    We’ll talk about:

    • Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brain
    • The science behind emotional flooding (in both you and your child)
    • How stress, exhaustion, and self-expectations reduce your window of tolerance
    • What “repair” looks like — and why it matters more than getting it perfect

    You’ll walk away with practical reflection questions and simple shifts that help you move from snapping to connecting — even on the hard days.


    Join next week's FREE webinar (or get the replay):

    https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904

    Read the full article:

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24392687/


    Share your thoughts and questions with me:

    https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns


    Read a blog post about this:

    https://curiousneuron.com/2025/12/03/why-you-still-snap-even-when-youve-done-the-work/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    The reason you snap at your kids (and what you can try instead) Dec 01, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Hi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy.

    You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap.

    In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....that isn't always realistic).

    I would love to find a way to communicate better with all of you. Share your story that is related to this episode in the link below OR ask a question to help me create a future podcast episode.


    https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8ns

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Why parenting advice won't help you stop snapping at your kids Nov 25, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    If you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense.

    After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern:
    We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works.

    In this episode, I talk about:

    • Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scripts
    • What’s really happening in your body during those moments you “flip”
    • Why you’re not a bad parent — you’re simply depleted
    • How viewing your child through a leadership lens instantly changes your reactions
    • The real first step to building a calmer, more connected home

    You don’t need more advice.
    You need emotional bandwidth — and today, we talk about how to build it.

    New! Becoming a Reflective Parent course is now available!!!
    Learn the 10 skills that help you rewire patterns, regulate emotions, and understand your nervous system. Get it today!

    https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    What all dads need to hear about emotions and their son's future mental health Nov 17, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

    Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

    Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

    This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

    In this episode, we cover:

    • The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
    • Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
    • How to become an emotional safe space for your son
    • What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
    • Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
    • The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
    • How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
    • Why parents’ own emotional work matters
    • Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust


    Read our blog post about this topic:

    https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/


    Learn more from Brendan below:

    @re.masculine

    https://remasculine.com

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

    https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Are you having unhealthy conflict? Here's what science says. Nov 10, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    This episode will change how you see conflict.

    We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.

    You’ll learn:

    • the Four Horsemen (with real examples)
    • how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck
    • the shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healing
    • how your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)
    • 3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversation

    This is not about fixing the last fight.

    This is about changing the next one.

    If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.


    Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):

    https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/


    Get the book The Next Conversation here

    Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:

    https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Understanding your nervous system in conflict with the authors of Beyond Difficult Nov 03, 2025
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.

    I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.

    This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
    It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.

    You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…
    why others shut down to survive the moment…
    and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.

    We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.

    And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.

    You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.
    It is about state.

    Get their new book on Amazon here.

    Follow Rachel on Instagram

    Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram


    Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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