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    Kids & Family

    Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron

    You don’t snap at your kids because you’re a bad parent. You snap because your stress builds faster than your awareness, and no one ever taught you how to handle that.

    I’m Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience and founder of Curious Neuron. I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast for parents who care deeply, know a lot, and still find themselves overwhelmed in the real moments.

    This is not a podcast where I tell you how to be a perfect parent. I’m in it with you.

    Each week, I invite you into my own reflections:

    • what I’m learning from scientific articles and books,
    • what I’m noticing in my nervous system and emotions,
    • and what real parents and experts teach me in conversation.

    Together, we get curious about why we snap, shut down, or over-function in conflict, and what’s actually happening in our brain and body when we do. We talk about stress, shame, repair, boundaries, playfulness, and the quiet moments no one sees—so you can start to recognize your patterns and gently shift them.

    By listening, you’ll learn to:

    • notice your stress and body signals earlier,
    • understand the lenses and stories that intensify hard moments,
    • regulate your nervous system when parenting feels like “too much”,
    • and handle conflict with more calm, clarity, and repair.
    • But more than that, you’ll have a companion in the work.

    I’ll share where I struggle, what I’m practicing, and how I’m trying to grow, so you don’t feel like the only parent who finds this hard.

    If you’re ready to move away from “perfect” parenting and toward reflective parenting—where every tough moment becomes data, not failure—pull up a chair. 

    Let’s learn, feel, and grow together.

    Find out which book I will be covering next month:

    https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/ 

    Join the private group on Facebook:

    www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/

    Start training your emotional awareness for FREE:

    https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

    Purchase my course The Emotionally Aware Parent.

    https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Follow us on Instagram @drcindyhovington or Facebook @curiousneuronparenting

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 Curious Neuron | Science of Parental Well-Being

    • Apple Podcasts
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    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    I can't express my frustrations with my parent: it always becomes about them being the victim May 01, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today's solo episode, I chat about a 3 day weekend I had my family and extended family.
    By the time it was over, I had some body discomfort and I couldn't figure out why. The weekend had gone fairly well but I did hold back from saying a few things to my mom. Whenever I do express frustration or anger, it almost ALWAYS becomes about her.
    The weekend I attended was a special occasion and I didn't want to get into an argument with her so I kept my feelings to myself...only to feel physically ill by the end of the weekend for the amount of bottled-up emotions I had.
    Can you relate? Listen to this episode to learn more!
    Want to join my Wondergrade Emotionally Aware Parent Challenge? Click the link below for your FREE 28-page PDF and a weekly Zoom call.
    Try the app for free below!
    Need help to support your child? Get our new Curious and Compassionate Parenting Bundle!
    https://curiousneuronacademy.mykajabi.com/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Karl Mercuri: Social Emotional Learning tips for schools and teachers Apr 24, 2023
    Show notes

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    In today’s episode we are joined by Karl Mercuri a Social-Emotional Learning Consultant and Coach based in Montreal, Canada

    3:56 - Who is Karl Mercuri?

    6:06 - The increase of complaints from school about child behavior changes since the pandemic, isn’t about behavior… it’s about missing social skills.

    8:53 - Do all schools implement social emotional learning programs?

    11:00 - What exactly is SEL: Social emotional learning?

    12:43 - What are the 5 competencies of SEL and how are they taught?

    16:40 - How can we implement discipline in schools keeping in mind SEL?

    19:19 - What are community circles?

    22:16 - What is a signature practices and how do you know if your school has them? How could a teacher or parent start SEL practices in their school?

    27:00 - What are some first steps educators can take with very young children without a full framework implemented in the classroom?

    35:50 - How can SEL help us in our adult relationships?

    38:48 - What language can teachers use to model SEL in the classroom?

    41:00 - Once a teacher knows how the students in the class are doing? How can they structure their activities?

    43:51 - What does Karl dream about when it comes to SEL in a classroom?

    Join Karl on Twitter or by e-mail: karl.a.mercuri@gmail.com

    Read the blog post by Karl: https://www.curiousneuron.com/blog/2023/2/6/the-ultimate-guide-to-choosing-a-school-that-nurtures-your-childs-social-emotional-well-being

    Watch the YouTube Live video with Karl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APTILnWzEg8

    CASEL: The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning https://casel.org/

    Permission to Feel - Marc Brackett, explains RULER: https://www.marcbrackett.com/about/book-permission-to-feel/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Bethan O'Riordan: How to improve your self-compassion as a parent Apr 17, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode, we are joined by Bethan O’Riordan, psychotherapist and mom of 3.

    5:57 - What does Bethan do?

    7:50 - What is the number one thing I need to know before becoming a parent?

    9:31 - How do you deal with a partner who isn’t interested in doing the work themselves?

    11:57 - How can we make the shift from negative self-talk to having more self-compassion?

    17:01 - Is it possible to go forward in our emotional growth journey without learning more about our past?

    19:46 - What’s the key to raising a securely attached child?

    23:00 - Should parents be stressed about leaving their children alone to play throughout the day?

    31:04 - How can a parent start taking steps toward doing the work?

    36:10 - Why is Bethan’s #1 advice to hold your tongue in hard moments?

    39:51 - What is compassion-focused therapy?

    “The greatest therapist a child can ever have is their own parent” - Bethan O’Riordan

    Visit Bethan’s website

    Join Bethan’s group open to all parents here.

    Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into The Science Of Attachment - Bethany Saltman

    Browse the Curious Neuron Academy here.

    Thank you to our supporter the Tanenbaum Open Science Institute at The Neuro. The Neuro is the first health sciences institution in the world to commit to Open Science, an approach to research that ensures scientific knowledge is shared widely and transparently.

    Please leave a rating for our podcast on iTunes!

    Join our community: Instagram: @curious_neuron Website: www.curiousneuron.com Podcast website: www.curiousneuron.com/curiousneuronpodcast

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    You are yelling at your child because you are dysregulated...here is how to change this Apr 10, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Today, I want you to change your guilt around yelling to compassion for yourself for being dysregulated.
    Sometimes, we power through our days, weeks, months, and years without addressing our needs. Our brain and nervous system have needs too. If we don't address them, we can't nurture them.
    What needs does your nervous system have? What causes you to feel "off"? What makes you feel warm and connected inside?
    As a challenge this week, I would like you to start using the terms regualted or dysreguated. Listen to this episode to learn how to do this.
    If you want to yell less, recognize what triggers you and learn how to cope with your emotions so that you can model this for your children, join the FREE Wondergrade Emotionally Aware Parent challenge by filling in the form below.
    You will get a 28-page workbook and the zoom link to join our weekly support group (Monday nights at 8pm ET) where you can chat about events that triggered you and get some advice from me and my business partner Kristi (a nurse).
    See you there!
    https://forms.gle/JA4imniLK2fLxh12A

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    How to become an emotionally aware parent Apr 03, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Hello friend! In today's solo episode, I discuss what it means to be an emotionally aware parent.
    We are having the Emotionally Aware Parent Challenge over at Wondergrade (I am the co-founder of this company). You can sign up with the link below:
    https://forms.gle/cmASL48RhMsWKW1L6
    Many parents tell me they easily snap at their kids or often feel their emotions go from 0-100. Working on our emotional awareness helps us recognize aspects of our environment that lead to strong emotions (both positive or negative/uncomforable).
    I walk you through 2 questions you can ask yourself this week and 4 skills you can work on to become an emotionally aware parent.
    Here are the resources I mention in today's episode:
    Podcast episode about our inner voice:
    https://www.curiousneuron.com/archive/2021/6/21/ep-31-how-parents-can-manage-their-negative-inner-voice-with-ethan-kross
    Podcast episode about mindfulness and self-compassion:
    https://www.curiousneuron.com/archive/ep-79-how-can-parents-work-on-self-compassion-and-mindfulness-with-dr-simn-guendelman
    Podcast episode: Why Am I yelling at my kids?
    https://www.curiousneuron.com/archive/ep-104-ask-yourself-why-am-i-yelling-at-my-kids
    Research Publication: The Structure of Emotional Experience and Its Relation to Trait Emotional Awareness: A Theoretical Review:
    https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ryan-Smith-13/publication/321325117_The_Structure_of_Emotional_Experience_and_Its_Relation_to_Trait_Emotional_Awareness_A_Theoretical_Review/links/6234a98ad545b7729402656c/The-Structure-of-Emotional-Experience-and-Its-Relation-to-Trait-Emotional-Awareness-A-Theoretical-Review.pdf

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Why we should alleviate stress around breastfeeding and support all moms Mar 27, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode, we are joined by Kishanda Vyboh, MSc and seasoned breastfeeding support parent. We discuss ALL things beautiful and challenging about breastfeeding. We speak about the pressure parents are put under to feed their babies whether it should be by breast milk or formula. This is a judgment-free zone!

    5:16 - What is a breastfeeding support parent?

    7:27 - Is there other programs like Nourri-Source out there?

    8:30 - What is the best way to feed your child and why breastfeeding education is necessary

    12:30 - Do you have to follow all the rules that the pre-natal classes give you?

    14:56 - Why did Kishanda make her own FREE pre-natal workshop and who can access it?

    17:30 - Why are there mood changes during the breast-feeding weaning period

    21:42 - Why does the World Health Organization suggest breastfeeding exclusively until 6 months, and then continuing until 2 years? Why is Canada not meeting these milestones?

    25:49 - Should I breastfeed my baby every time they cry?

    28:03 - If I continue breastfeeding past 2 years, will I ruin my child?

    30:04 - What should I do if I don’t want my tongue-tied child to have surgery?

    33:40 - What are some common misconceptions Kishanda has seen throughout her years volunteering?

    37:30 - What topics are covered in Kishanda’s free course?

    Resources:

    Join Kishanda on Instagram: @kishanda_jesse

    Nourri-source: https://nourri-source.org/en/

    Access the free workshop here: https://linktr.ee/kishandajesse?fbclid=PAAaa0hfIrCKX4gNsta4JHbSHpubhuVxUAXr4GMvJcZQaZCXjWUIycRvzvkWk

    La leche league: https://www.lllc.ca/

    Study from Canadian Journal of Nursing Research

    Find an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant in Quebec

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    What you should know about screen time in kids younger than 2 Mar 20, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode, we are joined by Tracie, a speech-language pathologist.

    • What a study found with regard to screen time and a child's cognitive abilities (link below)
    • What is Tracie’s take on Cocomelon and how the characters speak?
    • Why is screen time not recommended before the age of 18 months?
    • What can parents do if their child is already getting screen time under 2?
    • How does language actually develop?

    You can follow Tracie on Instagram @tracieb.slp


    Sources to help you make an informed decision for your family:

    Screen media exposure in the first 2 years of life and preschool cognitive development: a longitudinal study (here)


    Screen Time and Executive Function in Toddlerhood: A Longitudinal Study (here)


    Screen time and the development of emotion understanding from age 4 to age 8: A community study (here)


    Mobile Media Device Use is Associated with Expressive Language Delay in 18-Month-Old Children (here)


    Theory of Mind and Neurodevelopmental Disorders of Childhood (here)

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Chelsea Conaboy & Dr. Jodi Pawluski: How our brain changes when we become parents Mar 13, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode, we are joined by Chelsea Conaboy & Dr. Jodi Pawluski. We discuss all things parent brain - if you’re not sure what that is, this episode is for you.

    • Why is it important to talk about the postpartum period and the brain?
    • Is “mommy brain” negative?
    • Does parenting keep you young?
    • Does a father or non-birthing parent’s brain change when their child is born?
    • Is parental leave adequate around the world?
    • What is the “perfect mother myth”
    • Do we really need the village to raise our children?
    • Is it normal to be stressed and depressed as a new parent?
    • What kind of support exists in the US and Canada for mothers and fathers?
    • What is “mom rage”?
    • Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts about how your child will get hurt?
    • What is the definition of the postpartum period?
    • #1 tips for new parents from Chelsea and Jodi

    Resources:

    Chelsea’s book: Mother Brain

    Jodi’s book (en Français): Le Mommy Brain Boot camp for new dads in the USA

    Postpartum support international

    After the Storm: Postnatal Depression and the Utter Weirdness of New Motherhood - Emma Jane Unsworth

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    What play looks like when you are traveling around the world with 4 kids Mar 06, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode, we are joined by Alanna Gallo, a former educator who sold all her stuff and travels with her 4 kids!

    3:30 - What did play look like when your children had a home base, compared to when you left to travel?

    8:00 - If you come back to living in one home would you re-create it the same way?

    10:23 - What is an open-ended toy? What are the most beneficial toys for independent play? What is a close-ended toy?

    16:08 - What is a truly educational toy?

    20:35 - Alanna and Cindy share what they think about the current schooling system

    30:13 - Why did Alanna start her business? Let’s normalize learning from our mistakes and changing our parenting approach.

    36:23 - How can parents keep their children occupied while they do daily tasks?

    43:11 - If you have to take time for yourself, and you feel guilty, try this!

    Follow Alanna @playlearnthrive on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok

    For more information visit her website https://playlearnthrive.com/

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Can grandparents ruin how you are parenting your child? Feb 27, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Hi friends! I received this question from a listener so I thought I would answer it in today's episode.
    This parent asked, "If my husband and I have been working hard to validate our 13-month-old feelings but our parents do not, will this be harmful to our child's development and emotions?"
    It is important to validate our child's feelings, however, if certain adults do not validate their emotions, it is not necessarily harmful.
    I discuss:

    • what validating emotions looked like when we were growing up and what it look like today
    • how to have this conversation with grandparents
    • whether grandparents can undo the work
    • what are some red flags with grandparents that can be harmful to your child
    • the role of emotions in mental health
    • how to monitor your child when they come back from their grandparent's house

    Don't forget to review the podcast if you are enjoying it! (and if you are not, feel free to email me to let me know why)

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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