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    Kids & Family

    Reflective Parenting Podcast by Curious Neuron

    You don’t snap at your kids because you’re a bad parent. You snap because your stress builds faster than your awareness, and no one ever taught you how to handle that.

    I’m Dr. Cindy Hovington, a mom of three with a doctorate in neuroscience and founder of Curious Neuron. I created The Reflective Parenting Podcast for parents who care deeply, know a lot, and still find themselves overwhelmed in the real moments.

    This is not a podcast where I tell you how to be a perfect parent. I’m in it with you.

    Each week, I invite you into my own reflections:

    • what I’m learning from scientific articles and books,
    • what I’m noticing in my nervous system and emotions,
    • and what real parents and experts teach me in conversation.

    Together, we get curious about why we snap, shut down, or over-function in conflict, and what’s actually happening in our brain and body when we do. We talk about stress, shame, repair, boundaries, playfulness, and the quiet moments no one sees—so you can start to recognize your patterns and gently shift them.

    By listening, you’ll learn to:

    • notice your stress and body signals earlier,
    • understand the lenses and stories that intensify hard moments,
    • regulate your nervous system when parenting feels like “too much”,
    • and handle conflict with more calm, clarity, and repair.
    • But more than that, you’ll have a companion in the work.

    I’ll share where I struggle, what I’m practicing, and how I’m trying to grow, so you don’t feel like the only parent who finds this hard.

    If you’re ready to move away from “perfect” parenting and toward reflective parenting—where every tough moment becomes data, not failure—pull up a chair. 

    Let’s learn, feel, and grow together.

    Find out which book I will be covering next month:

    https://curiousneuron.com/podcast/ 

    Join the private group on Facebook:

    www.facebook.com/groups/reflectiveparentingpodcast/

    Start training your emotional awareness for FREE:

    https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/84371dc0b2

    Purchase my course The Emotionally Aware Parent.

    https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Follow us on Instagram @drcindyhovington or Facebook @curiousneuronparenting

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 Curious Neuron | Science of Parental Well-Being

    • Apple Podcasts
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    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    Risk factors for maltreating our children are different in moms and dads Jul 10, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Join me on an eye-opening journey as we confront an issue that's often left in the shadows - parental child maltreatment, and the risks surrounding it. Promise me you won't shy away from this uncomfortable conversation, as we aim to shed light on the importance of emotional regulation. We're not pointing fingers here, but acknowledging the powerful role of our own emotions, and learning how to better regulate them to construct a secure and nurturing milieu for our children.
    We're diving headfirst into a recent Italian study that highlights the specific dimensions of emotion dysregulation among parents, and how they can predict maltreatment. It's no secret dads tend to struggle in identifying their emotions, while moms often find themselves suppressing their emotions. Remember, it's okay to feel, and it's essential to express. So, here's to starting conversations, to promoting emotional awareness, and to creating environments where our children can thrive. Join me, won't you?
    Read the article here:
    https://www.curiousneuron.com/blog/2023/7/6/understanding-the-risk-factors-of-parental-child-maltreatment-exploring-emotion-regulation-deficits
    Books (links are for amazon.com):
    Permission to Feel by Mark Brackett
    Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
    Self-compassion by Kristen Neff. Ph.D.

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Decoding Couples: Surviving Parenthood without Losing Your Partner Jul 03, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Do you ever feel like your relationship takes a backseat once kids come into the picture? I'm Cindy Hovington, and I promise you, by the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with the tools to ensure your relationship doesn't falter while you're navigating parenthood.
    With the insights shared by our esteemed guests,Rachel and Stacey, two licensed marriage and family therapists from Decoding Couples, you'll learn how to regulate emotions, handle heated conversations and model these behaviors for your children. We also discuss how to maintain a solid connection with your partner during challenging times like a pandemic.
    As the conversation unfolds, we journey into uncharted territories of relationship communication and emotional intelligence. Our experts share valuable advice on ensuring respect during disagreements, the pivotal role of accountability, and offer a lifeline to repair communication when it seems irreparable. But what about listening? Often overlooked, we discuss the power of effective listening and the benefits of nurturing a 'we' mindset in parenting.
    In the final part of our discussion, we tackle the tough stuff - unhealthy relationships, signs of an abusive relationship, dealing with narcissism, and navigating through a divorce. We provide strategies to ensure children aren't negatively affected by a divorce and wrap up with valuable advice on maintaining a healthy relationship, particularly when transitioning from a two-parent household to a single-parent home. So buckle up for an enlightening journey on striking the perfect equilibrium between parenting and keeping your relationship robust and healthy.
    Learn more from Rachel and Stacey:
    https://www.decodingcouples.com/
    Follow Decoding Couples on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/decoding_couples/
    Listen to the Decoding Couples Podcast:
    https://www.decodingcouples.com/podcast
    Take their masterclass Stop Fighting, Start Talking:
    https://www.decodingcouples.com/webinar-registration

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Mastering Parent-Child Conversations with Negotiation Skills Jun 26, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Can parenting advice be found in a book about negotiation? Surprisingly, the answer is yes! As I recently explored the book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, I discovered that the lessons I gained from this read not only improved my business negotiation skills but also offered valuable insights into parenting. Join me in this enlightening episode that will change your perspective on parenting conversations, arguments, and even interactions with your partner.
    Being attuned to emotions is essential in both negotiation and parenting. Today, we discuss the power of empathy, inspired by Dr. Marc Brackett's book Permission to Feel, and its role in understanding our children's emotions. Learn how emotional awareness and labelling emotions can lead to more effective communication and better parenting. This conversation will undoubtedly transform the way you approach communication in both your personal and professional life. Don't miss it!
    Never split the difference book:
    https://amzn.to/3JvDcoB
    Permission to feel book:
    https://amzn.to/42WeBQy
    Research study:
    What to Teach Parents to Reduce Disruptive Child Behavior: Two Meta-Analyses of Parenting Program Components
    https://ora.ox.ac.uk/objects/uuid:7c3ad0a2-b215-4d45-9509-4ad724cd77c6/download_file?safe_filename=2019%2BLeijten%2Bet%2Bal_accepted_JAACAP_what%2Bto%2Bteach%2Bparents%2Bto%2Breduce%2Bdisruptive%2Bchild%2Bbehavior.pdf&file_format=application%2Fpdf&type_of_work=Journal+article

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Supporting Dads: Breaking the Stigma on Men's Mental Health in Prenatal and Postpartum Stages Jun 19, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    How can we better support dads in their crucial roles during prenatal and postpartum stages, and why is it so vital to address their mental health?
    Join us as we explore this essential topic with Dr. Deborah Da Costa, a researcher at McGill University, and my guest co-host, Travis Goodman, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and returning guest and father. Together, we aim to break the stigma surrounding dads in mental health and shed light on the importance of open, compassionate conversations.
    We'll discuss the impact of men's mental health on the family dynamic and the potential benefits of engaging dads in mental health conversations. Our conversation also covers the importance of paternity leave, the varying policies across Canada and the US, and the effects of maternal gatekeeping on fathers' mental health. Dr. Da Costa shares her insights on the lack of resources available for fathers, while Travis provides his invaluable perspective as a dad and family therapist.
    You will also learn more about Dr. Da Costa's new research study, Fathers Matter, where scientists are trying to better understand fathers’ involvement in pregnancy and develop resources to help with the transition to parenthood. They are currently recruiting (please see the link below).
    In this eye-opening conversation, we advocate for greater acceptance and support for men's mental health issues, including tailored resources and community programs. We address the lack of funding for initiatives to support men's mental health and stress the importance of recognizing fathers in the prenatal and postpartum stages. By challenging the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality, we aim to dismantle the narrative of failure that may prevent men and fathers from seeking the help they need. Don't miss this vital discussion on the role of dads in parenting and mental health!
    The Da Costa Lab is currently recruiting couples having their first baby in order to learn more about fathers’ involvement in pregnancy and early parenthood.
    Learn more:
    https://fathersmatter.ca/
    Join Dr. Da Costa on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/dacosta_lab_ri_muhc/
    Learn more about Travis Goodman:
    https://www.therapy4dads.com/about
    Listen to Travis's podcast (Therapy4dads) on Apple Podcasts:
    https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/therapy4dads/id1569718711
    Resources:
    Dads Get Sad Too: Depressive Symptoms and Associated Factors in Expectant First-Time Fathers:
    https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1557988315606963
    HealthyDads.ca: What Do Men Want in a Website Designed to Promote Emotional Wellness and Healthy Behaviors During the Transition to Parenthood?

    https://www.jmir.org/2017/10/e325/

    A prospective study of postnatal depressive symptoms and associated risk factors in first-time fathers

    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032718321694

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Evelyn Tribole: Raising Intuitive Eaters and Overcoming Diet Culture Jun 12, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Are you unknowingly fostering unhealthy food relationships in your household? Join us as we chat with Evelyn Tribole, co-author of Intuitive Eating, to discover how to nurture a healthy relationship with food for ourselves and our kids, and break free from the detrimental diet culture that can creep into our homes.
    Unintentionally, parents may contribute to the restriction of their kids' eating, causing more harm than good. In this episode, we delve into the intuitive eating framework, which relies on our body's internal wisdom. Evelyn shares valuable insights on setting boundaries and fostering a safe space for teen food relationships, emphasizing the importance of mental health and making peace with food.
    Don't miss this enlightening conversation as we also discuss understanding our body's biology and its role in our eating behaviors. Learn how to create a loving environment at home and have respectful conversations about food with family members. Tune in and empower your family with a healthy and intuitive relationship with food.
    Resources:
    https://www.evelyntribole.com/
    https://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-4th-Anti-Diet-Revolutionary/dp/1250255198/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2XYJ62NWHDJGB&keywords=intuitive+eating&qid=1686543696&sprefix=intuitive+eating%2Caps%2C106&sr=8-1
    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1471015318302046

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Navigating the "What-Ifs": Managing Anxiety in Children and Adults through Emotional Awareness Jun 05, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Ever find yourself stuck in a spiral of what-if thoughts, unable to shake off the anxiety that accompanies them? I've been there, and so have my kids. Let me share with you a powerful conversation I had with them that helped us all better understand and manage our emotions. Listen in as we explore techniques for letting go of these thoughts, such as talking to someone or writing them down, to gain emotional awareness and keep our worries from taking over our lives.
    You're not alone if you've struggled with anxiety – I've personally experienced postpartum anxiety and learned the value of journaling and self-talk in processing my emotions. Join me as we discuss how to help our children identify and cope with their feelings, equipping them with the tools they need to navigate their emotions and foster emotional awareness. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from my experiences and adopt new strategies for managing anxiety in both yourself and your children.

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Predicting Attachment Styles and Navigating Pregnancy: A Deep Dive with Drs. Shalaka and Alyson May 29, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Can you predict your child's attachment style before they're even born? Join us as we unravel the fascinating world of pregnancy, attachment, and mental health with our special guests Drs. Shalaka and Allison. As Shalaka shares her research on predicting attachment through biological predictors and exposure to prenatal and postnatal stress, Allison offers her expertise as a doctor specializing in internal medicine, cardiology, nephrology, and obstetrical medicine.
    Together, we debunk myths surrounding pregnancy and gender predictions while emphasizing the importance of evidence-based information when it comes to lifestyle during pregnancy. We also discuss the uncomfortable experience of having strangers touch your belly while pregnant and explore the need for more conversations about pregnancy and childbirth in our society. Our guests also touch on the crucial role community support plays for new parents and the cultural expectations often placed on mothers.
    Don't miss out on this engaging discussion about the significance of reflection during pregnancy and the need to focus on both our children's individual needs and our own mental health and stability. Learn about the research surrounding attachment and the importance of recurrent interactions between children and their caregivers, and how Shalaka and Allison's Growing Facts Podcast is helping to create much-needed conversations around pregnancy and parenting.
    About our guests:
    Hosts of The Growing Facts Podcast:
    https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/growing-facts-podcast/id1651492535
    Shalaka earned her Ph.D. in child psychology at McGill University. Her thesis is on the influence of maternal prenatal stress, child genetics, and parenting on the development of attachment in children.

    She has completed her clinical residency in Victoria, B.C. She is a registered psychologist and sees children and families in her clinical practice in Montreal.

    During the course of this podcast, she shares her journey to successfully conceiving a child through IVF. She lives with her two cats, Tonks and Remus, and her husband.


    Alyson is an internal medicine specialist in Victoriaville, Quebec. She went to medical school at McGill and then did her residency at the Université de Montréal. She has a particular interest in obstetrical medecine, which focuses on illnesses in the pregnant woman, and is involved in the GEMOQ (Groupe d’Étude en Médecine Obstétrical du Québec) as an administrator.

    She is currently living in Victoriaville with her partner, their huge dog ‘Buck’, and her newborn twins!

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    The science of mom rage and finding euphoric moments in parenting May 22, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    Let's talk about both euphoric moments in parenting and rage moments.
    I did something very "out of the box" with my kids this weekend and I wanted to share it with you so that you can give it a try too.
    Also, I have been talking a lot about "mom rage" online these past 2 weeks but let's get into the science and create a game plan to help you out if this is something you are experiencing.
    I hope you enjoy this episode!
    Our partners:
    Get 50% off yearly membership for the Pok Pok app for kids:
    playpokpok.com/redeem/?code=50CURIOUSNEURON

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Susie Allison: Kids don't learn social skills at school, they learn them at home May 15, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode we are joined for a second time by Susie Allison, M. Ed., a former teacher and creator of Busy Toddler.

    • What did Susie post that instigated this conversation?
    • Why did Susie make the reel?
    • What is the real definition of “social skills”
    • How exactly can a parent teach a child social skills?
    • How can parents intentionally model emotion regulation skills?
    • How and when can a parent teach conflict resolution to their child?
    • Are all social skills mostly learned in school?

    Follow Susie on Instagram.
    Our partners:
    Get 50% off a yearly membership for the Pok Pok app for kids:
    playpokpok.com/redeem/?code=50CURIOUSNEURON
    Resources:
    Development of social skills in children: neural and behavioral evidence for the elaboration of cognitive models

    Face it or hide it: parental socialization of reappraisal and response suppression


    The Role of the Family Context in the Development of Emotion Regulation

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

    Tarah Schwartz: A long road to motherhood (miscarriage, IVF and Adoption) May 08, 2023
    Show notes

    Send us Fan Mail

    In today’s episode we are joined by Tarah Schwartz, Canadian journalist and author of Can’t Help Falling - A Long Road to Motherhood.

    • Why did Tarah write this book?
    • Should you mention anything when you know someone had a pregnancy loss?
    • When should you go back to work after a pregnancy loss?
    • Are there any local support groups that were helpful?
    • What can you do to support the non-pregnant parent after a pregnancy loss?
    • How does adoption actually work?
    • Was it hard writing the book or part of Tarah’s healing?
    • Has a community grown from the book?
    • Who’s the book for?

    You can join Tarah through her website: https://tarahschwartz.ca/

    Thank you to our supporter the Tanenbaum Open Science Institute at The Neuro. The Neuro is the first health sciences institution in the world to commit to Open Science, an approach to research that ensures scientific knowledge is shared widely and transparently.

    Please leave a rating for our podcast on iTunes!

    Join our community: Instagram: @curious_neuron Website: www.curiousneuron.com Podcast website: www.curiousneuron.com/curiousneuronpodcast
    Our partners:
    Get 50% off a yearly membership for the Pok Pok app for kids:
    playpokpok.com/redeem/?code=50CURIOUSNEURON

    Support the show

    • Join the Reflective Parent Book Club for only $9.99 for the year: https://reflectiveparentclub.circle.so/checkout/reflective-parenting-book-club
    1. Watch my Tedx Talk on YouTube called The Over-Educated, Emotionally Underprepared Parent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDYJFY_9K9E&t=19s
    • Grab my course for $99, The Emotionally Aware Parent: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

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