Recovery Elevator

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RE 209: 4 Themes From 4 Years of Podcasting Feb 18, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Bill with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018.

Paul shares the news he is writing a book, which he hopes to launch by July 1. As that date gets closer, he will be asking for volunteers to be part of the launch team so be on the lookout for that opportunity if that is something you would like to be a part of.

After doing something long enough some trends start to appear. In Ep. 52, after 1 year of podcasting, Paul did a summery of what he learned during the 1st year. In this episode he will cover the 4 themes that people successful in sobriety have fully embraced.

Community
Accountability
Thinking
Trust

SHOW NOTES

[10:15] Paul Introduces Bill.

Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, is 49 years old and is from northern New Jersey. He does investment research for an insurance company. Bill has been married for a little over 20 years and has two kids. Bill finds fun in outdoor activities such as camping and fishing.

[12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking.

Bill started drinking at an early age and drank all throughout college and through his 20s. He got married, finished grad school, their daughter was born, and things seemed fine. Although he was drinking during this time there was nothing significant that made him feel as if he had an alcohol problem. His son was born in 2005 and there were complications. They soon realized his son was not meeting his milestones or developing like their daughter had. When his son was 14/15 mos. old, after watching a Home Improvement episode about a family with 4 autistic children, they just knew what their son's problem was. The day that the doctor confirmed their fears is the day that Tom feels he became an alcoholic. That was in 2006 and when the progression started.

[18:53] When did you decide you needed to evaluate your alcohol consumption?

Things started to unravel for Bill in April of 2017. After a mini-breakdown and a call to a sister, who called their father, an intervention was set up. He started seeing a counselor who was the only person he was honest with, including himself. At this time, he was not drinking, but white knuckling it. By May he was drinking again. He tried moderation and no matter what he tried it always failed.

Fast forward to October 8, 2018, at the gym Bill pulls up podcasts, types in alcohol addiction and finds the RE podcast for the first time.

[29:30] When did you finally get honest with yourself?

The point of surrender was driving home the evening of Sunday, October 7th. He finally said he had had enough.

[32:34] Who are the first 3 people you "burned the ships" with?

The first person he told was his best friend. The second person he told was his cousin, who actually confronted him about his drinking. The third person was the most difficult. That was his wife and that was just two weeks ago.

[38:36] Back to October 8, what were the things you put in place to get you to 90 days?

The first few weeks he broke his days into 3 parts, the mornings, the afternoons, and the evenings. All he was wanting to do was make it through the day to make it to bed. The biggest differentiator is instead of pushing the cravings away he acknowledges them.

[43:00] Talk to us about the progress you have made in accepting your son for who he is.

He has gone from the feelings knowing that his son wasn't going to be the baseball star to now recognizing the potential he does have. His son has made great strides. He tries to live in the present and not look too far into the future and celebrates his son's accomplishments daily.

[46:00] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?

When his daughter wanted to watch the first Star Wars with him one Sunday night and he drank so many Vodka Cranberries during the day that he got violently ill after the 1st five minutes of the movie.

Did you have an "Ah-Ha" moment?

The mini-breakdown I had in April 2017.

What is your plan moving forward?

Reminding myself that I need to make progress each week and I can't be complacent.

What is your favorite resource in recovery?

Recovery Elevator podcasts.

What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)?

Burn the ships.

What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

Alcohol is but a symptom.

You might be an alcoholic if...

Your 14 year old daughter says to you, at 10:45 in the morning, "Hey Dad, aren't ya hitting the bottle a little too early?", and you simply ignore her and walk away with the glass of wine in your hand.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside."

RE 208: You Have This Power Feb 11, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Crystal with 84 days of sobriety.

This is a special podcast episode! It marks 4 consecutive years of podcasting…208 straight Mondays in a row.

Paul talks about how Recovery Elevator and the RE community has saved his life, and shares ways we can all help others stop drinking.

SHOW NOTES

[11:00] Paul Introduces Crystal.

Crystal has been sober for 84 days and lives in San Antonio, Texas. She is a life style/transformation coach. She is 30 years old and recently single. For fun Crystal likes to workout.

[12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking.

Crystal considered herself a binge drinker. She tried to moderate her drinking by only drinking on the weekends, as her drinking was starting to affect her work and relationships, but that led to going hard core on the weekends.

[15:00] When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol?

That was a couple of years ago when she realized she didn't drink like other people. She always wanted more to drink, always wanting to be buzzed or drunk. One drink was never enough. It was in 2018 that she realized that she really had to make a change.

[19:38] You started your sobriety journey in January 2018, walk us through that.

She became sober curious in January 2018, but feels like it didn't stick at that time because she wasn't doing it entirely for herself. She was sober for a few months but eventually lost her "why" and fell back into her old habits. There was a moment in 2018 that she felt like she had no control and that was a scary moment for her.

[21:33] Do you feel like there were times in the last year that you were running on willpower alone?

She definitely thinks it was on willpower alone and was trying to do it on her own.

[24:04] You mentioned when you first got sober you didn't think of it in terms of being sober the rest of your life, talk about that.

She thought it was going to only be a temporary thing and that she would learn how to moderate it. She realized that she couldn't moderate it, that only having a one or two drinks would never be enough.

[26:13] What did you change 84 days ago?

The first couple weeks were difficult for her. She got connected with friends at church and let her family know. She shifted her focus and became really honest with herself.

[30:11] What have you learned about yourself in these last 87 days?

She learned she could have a personality without being drunk. She learned that she could have fun and accomplish a lot more without being drunk.

[31:48] Why do you think you drank?

She thinks she started drinking because it gave her liquid courage in the social scene and then it just turned into a habit. She feels it was a coping mechanism this last year as she was dealing with her breakup.

[33:43] Walk us through a typical day in your sobriety.

Working with her clients daily helps her as well. Working out, meditating, staying in the Word, staying connected helps her on a daily basis.

[39:20] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?

The moment when she realized she could not control her drinking.

Tell us about a time when you could not control your drinking.

Just having the feeling that she couldn't stop was definitely her A-ha moment that she realized that she needed to make a big change.

What is it like being 30 and getting sober?

It's a challenge but what she has found that helps her is connecting with other sober people.

What is your favorite resource in recovery?

The community aspect, podcasts like Recovery Elevator, filling my mind with positivity and being around like minded people.

What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)?

Being reminded that her feelings were valid, and so is her story.

What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

Stay connected, embrace the journey, and know that there are going to be good days and bad days. Know that being sober is not weird.

You might be an alcoholic if...

You're downloading multiple sobriety trackers trying to decide which one works best for you.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside."

RE 207: The Joy of Missing Out Feb 04, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Tom, with a sobriety date of June 6, 2018.

We've all heard of FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out. Today I want to talk to you about JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out. The Joy Of Missing Out is the emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO, and is essentially about being present and content where you are at this moment in life. Instead of constantly trying to keep up with the Jones', JOMO allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness.

At the end of the episode I have a bunch of "You might be an alcoholic if…" lines. Listeners I would love to hear your own "You might be an alcoholic if" lines. Email them to info@recoveryelevator.com and put YMBAAI in the subject line.

SHOW NOTES

[6:55] Paul Introduces Tom.

Tom, who considered himself a high-functioning alcoholic, is 50 years old, lives in Seattle, Washington, and has a sobriety date of 6/4/18. He is married, has two children, and a pug named Violet. He works in the high tech field.

[10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.

He had his first drink when he was 14, and although he didn't really like it his friends were doing it, so he kept doing it. Drank a lot in high school, it was almost like a sport. The first 10-15 years he feels he was a regular drinker, that he could take it, or leave it. He began binge drinking in college. The last 20 years he was drinking every day, but didn't think he had a problem.

[16:50] When did you know that something was not right with your drinking?

That started about 2 years ago when he started getting numbness in his fingers, enough times that he went to the doctor about it. The doctor asked him what his drinking was like. About a year ago he had a major stressor in his life and the way he dealt with it was by drinking. Up until that point he always thought he drank for relaxation.

[24:30] Walk us through your early part of sobriety.

Tom says the first 4-5 were hard and talked about the drinking dreams he had. He changed his whole routine and became what he called a "sobriety savage". He attends AA at least once a week but is not sure it is something he wants to continue to do for the rest of his life.

[35:25] What have you learned most about yourself in these past 7 months?

That you are never too far gone.

[38:50] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?

When he went on a church camping trip and he got so drunk that he packed up the family early and snuck away the next morning.

Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?

He had never told anyone this; about a year ago he went out driving at 3:00 AM and was driving in a manner that he was basically putting his life in God's hands. He spun out, the car stopped, and he finally came to his senses and balled like a baby.

What's your plan in sobriety moving forward?

Keep it simple. Live in the moment. Continue going to AA. Really connect with people.

What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)?

His son telling him to go to AA.

What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

Do what you need to do to keep yourself sober and keep yourself safe. You don't need to know everything at that moment.

You might be an alcoholic if...

You can't recall which Netflix shows you have binged, or plan to binge, even as you are possibly watching them.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

RE 206: The Tipping Point in Sobriety Jan 28, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Dusty, with a sobriety date of 9/21/15. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

I recently finished reading the book The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. The book isn't specifically a recovery book, but some of the ideas and themes can be applied to getting sober and staying sober. When it comes to the journey into sobriety there are 2 tipping points I want to cover in this episode. The first one happens when you start to question whether alcohol is serving a positive purpose in your life and the second one occurs when you quit drinking.

At the end of the episode I will talk about a third tipping point, one to avoid.

SHOW NOTES

[6:55] Paul Introduces Dusty.

Dusty is 38 years old, lives in Bozeman, Montana, and has a sobriety date of 9/21/15, just over 39 months since his last drink. He is an accountant. He loves playing recreational sports, just started playing hockey this year, after learning how to skate.

[10:30 ] Give us a little background about your drinking.

He started drinking when he was in high school and fell in love with it. Same thing through college, but once he finished college that is when his drinking progressed. It was at this time drinking was no longer fun and started to get out of control. He was drinking alone in his apartment.

[11:43 ] Did you ever try and put any rules into play, or try and quit?

He would try and only drink on the weekends, try and cut out beer, try to regulate. It never worked.

[15:01 ] What was your rock bottom, or your tipping point?

After going on a 10 hour bender, watching college football one Saturday in the downtown bars of Bozeman he was informed the following day that he had kicked a girl that night before. He had no recollection of doing that. Running into the girl on Sunday and seeing the look on her face was his rock bottom.

[24:52 ] How did you stay sober after the first month?

He has a great group of friends that once he shared that he was an alcoholic they gave him 100% support. He also got really involved in the RE Facebook group.

[30:35 ] Referring to the quote, "drinking is but a symptom", do you know why you drank?

Probably genetically predisposed to it, it's on both sides of his family. And like he stated earlier, he started drinking for fun in high school and then it turned into more of pity drinking in his late 20s.

[38:50 ] Rapid Fire Round

True or False, love is the answer…and why?

Absolutely! Love conquers all.

What was your worst memory from drinking?

After moving back from Kentucky he was living with his Mom for a couple of months. She came into his room asking if he was going to work and she screamed after discovering a puddle in the middle of his room. She blamed it on Buster the cat but he was sure it was from him.

Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?

Probably the look on Buster's face.

What's your plan moving forward?

Staying involved with the CaféRE community and creating those relationships. Going to Nashville. Getting out of his comfort zone.

What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)?

Get some sober friends.

You might be an alcoholic if...

You pee on the floor in the middle of the night and blame it on your cat.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

RE 205: Recover Who We Were Meant to Be Jan 21, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Kane, with 49 days of sobriety.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Recover Who We Were Meant To Be

Tony Robbins and Russell Brand recently did a podcast titled Recover Your True Self. In this episode there are two value bombs I want to talk about. The first is Russell Brand's definition of recovery, and the other is his idea of the main intention of the 12 steps.

At the end of the episode, I share a story about letting go.

SHOW NOTES

[6:49 ] Paul introduces Kane

Kane is 45, lives in Adelaide, Australia, and has 49 days of sobriety. He is a government worker. He loves hiking and doing yoga in the mornings. He is also a birdwatcher. He likes socializing, and has been doing more social events since he's been sober.

[ 11:00 ] Give us a little background about your drinking.

He started drinking in late high school, and quickly progressed to "drinking for drunkenness." In college, alcohol became an escape from "this busy brain." He surrounded himself with friends who drank like he did.

[31:40 ] What does a typical day in your recovery look like?

He gets up early, does yoga and goes to work. After work, he takes his dog Rusty for a walk, and spends time with his wife (without fighting). He has been surprised by how much he enjoys socializing in sobriety

[40:39] What's on your bucket list in sobriety?

First and foremost, to continue to improve his relationship with his family. He wants to keep expanding his honesty. He is looking forward to eventually getting a caravan (camper) and going on road trips with his wife, birdwatching along the way. He also looks forward to continuing having good times without alcohol.

[44:00] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking?

Not being as good a father as I thought I was.

Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?

Waking up after a blackout, and finding a misspelled note on his phone that he'd written to himself telling him where he'd parked his car after trying not to drive while drunk.

What's your plan moving forward?

Socializing, yoga, taking responsibility.

What's your favorite resource in recovery?

The Recovery Elevator Podcast. He also has gone to an AA meeting, and enjoyed it. Learning to be able to be honest with others about not drinking.

What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)?

Asking "Is this working for me?" and if the answer is "no" change it.

What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?

Take responsibility for how you act.

You might be an alcoholic if...

you ask your mother for a lift to your car, because you'd been drinking the night before. When you get to where you think you left your car, it's not there. You then remember that you'd driven it home drunk. You then ask your mother to drive you a little past your home where you had parked your car so your partner didn't know you'd driven home drunk.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Tony Robbins and Russell Brand Podcast, Recover Your True Self:

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

RE 204: Should I Avoid Social Events Where Alcohol Will be Present? Jan 14, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Do I need to avoid social situations where alcohol will be present?

The answer is yes, then no, then yes. Sorry if that's confusing. I explain better in the episode.

[8:40] Paul introduces Lucy

Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, lives in London England. She is a freelance makeup artist, which she loves doing. She is single, likes walking, hiking, cooking, and drawing.

[11:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.

Lucy had her first experience with alcohol at age 12. Her drinking kicked into full swing after she was 18, when she began working in bar and nightclubs. She feels that it was a very quick descent into binge drinking and blackouts. By the time she was 21 she found herself drinking alone more and more. She lost every bar job she had because she would not show up for work because she was hungover.

[17:34] Lucy's first venture into sobriety.

At age 26, after moving to London to be a full-time makeup artist, Lucy realized that she might lose the career she loved if she continued to drink. She tried AA, but it just didn't resonate with her. Within a year, after white knuckeling sobriety, she went back to drinking.

[20:01] Her rock bottom.

Lucy had a suicide attempt at age 30, which she feels was a cry for help. She regrets what she put her family through at that time.

She then had a second try at sobriety, and found that she had a lot of anger and resentment toward drinkers.

[23:40] Since then, Lucy has realized that each relapse has taught her something. She cannot moderate her drinking at all.

[27:50} Did you attempt to moderate your drinking?

Never doing shots.

Having three blood alcohol calculators on her phone.

Avoiding going out as much as possible.

[44:28] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward?

Not drinking, staying connected, putting sobriety first.

[45:04] Rapid fire round.

What is your worst memory from drinking?

That night in the hospital after her suicide attempt.

What was your "oh shit" moment?

My 10th blackout in a row, and a four-day hangover.

In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you've ever received?

Find your tribe.

What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners?

Believe in yourself, you're stronger than you know. There's a way out for everyone.

[46:45] You might be an alcoholic if . . .

You factor in an extra 100 pounds ($150 US) for every time you go out drinking

Because you never know in what part of the city you'll wake up, and you might

need to call a cab.

RE 203: Shaken, Not Stirred Jan 07, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Jeff, with over 2 years since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. That could never happen… Analysis of the famed James Bond movies reveals that James Bond is a full-blown functioning alcoholic living on borrowed time. "There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the severe end of the spectrum… His workplace, MI6, needs to become a more responsible employer and refer him to support services and change their corporate drinking culture." The amount of alcohol that James Bond is consuming in the films is enough to leave someone far too disabled to engage in any kind of crime fighting.

SHOW NOTES

[7:07] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober just over two years. He's 43 years old and lives near Denver, Colorado. He is married with one adult son. He and his wife enjoy Netflix, boating, and writing. He is the same guest as a previous guest, episode 104. He is a genetic researcher. He is extremely busy, with three jobs. He found that most people just drink in their downtime. He went from habitual drinking around age 34 to a downward spiral once his wife left him. There was a DUI, and a crash. It enabled him to reboot.

[12:20] What happened during that five year period where you drank normally, but the obsession was still there? He was still micromanaging the quantities of alcohol that were available to him. He was constantly making sure that consuming alcohol was going to be part of the plan and available just in case. Even though he found like he had a new life, he included alcohol in his activities.

[14:00] Did you try to moderate your drinking with rules? Definitely. Switching from hard alcohol to beer, or only on the weekends. They seemed to break all the time. Other parts of his life were great at the time. His step daughter had a stroke, but when those three days were up he craved alcohol. He realized he was using alcohol to take a break from difficult emotions and he figured out that he needed to try and find a better way. He realized that he wanted someone else to step in and help him control his drinking. He emptied a bottle and kept it around as a reminder of his efforts to get sober. He discussed it with his wife, and they had a great conversation. He's grateful that she met him in the middle of his struggle. She knew who he was and what he was dealing with. She agreed to get sober with him to help him along, even though she didn't have a problem.

[22:50] How important is it to have your significant other or spouse on board with your decision to get sober? Incredibly important. There were times when he wanted to crack, but she was there to support him. They agreed to find alternative ways to get through the holidays, etc. It is better, to be honest than to be hiding it.

[24:21] What is it like for you in the different stages of sobriety? In the first 90 days, everything is new. He binge listened to podcasts to help him rewire his thoughts. He spent the first six months just learning. In the first year, you are testing whether or not you can do things without drinking. He was surprised at how much his brain came back online. He found himself to be highly creative. Sobriety has been a surprise. The second year found him being a lot more available in his business. He found surprising success in his business. One never stops growing. He began to look at his priorities. He had to decide which areas of his life needed growth. The second year is way more empowering. You start hitting your stride and liking yourself more as a person.

[33:06] What's the most challenging thing you've encountered in sobriety? The lake trip was the most challenging. He was isolated on a boat, and everyone was drunk. He would climb up to get cell reception and check in with his internet support group. He felt incredible when he made it through without drinking.

[35:09] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? He's working on a book that involves sobriety. He wants to learn how to schedule unproductive time. He feels too busy. He feels like he's still learning. He isn't involved with formal recovery groups. He's still trying to explore the depths of who he is.

[39:28] What are your thoughts on relapse? It's all an experiment. How would it feel to spend a long time away from alcohol? The results have been that sobriety is the way for him. He feels better, more empowered.

[42:00] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking? Not officiating his friend's wedding. He was trying to prepare the wedding, and he was in a dark place and dreaded the whole process.
Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment?
What's your plan moving forward? He is excited to live one day at a time.
What's your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator, and Cafe RE. They are his support group.
What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "And remember, you don't drink anymore."
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just keep at it. It takes grit. You can't think your way into sobriety.. you have to act your way into changing your thinking. Be patient; it takes time.
You might be an alcoholic if… "...you stash shooters in your friend's son's coat while going to a football game because he's less likely to be searched than you are."

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"We took the elevator down; we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

RE 202: 12 Reasons to Stay Sober in 2019 Dec 31, 2018

Show notes

Today we have Warren, with 48 hours since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. 12 reasons why sober is better:

1 - Look your best. 2 - Look and feel properly rested. 3 - Alcohol fixes things you didn't notice were broken. 4 - Make the most of your time. 5 - Build better relationships. The opposite of addiction is connection. 6 - More confidence. You can do anything you put your mind to. 7 - Less fear! 8 - Save your money. 9 - Be more present. 10 - Avoid unnecessary disasters. 11 - Create the future you want. 12 - Improved memory SHOW NOTES

[8:20] Paul Introduces Warren.

Warren is 40 years old, from Martinsville, Virginia, and has been sober for 48 hours. He's married with two children. He is the executive director of a domestic violence outreach program. He also owns a sound company. He enjoys fishing and camping, and the outdoors. He thinks you shouldn't always believe what you think. He's struggled with worrying about what other people think.

[12:09] Give us a bit of background about you drinking. He started drinking relatively young. His parents both drank, and were very social. They were involved in politics. He and his cousin found some champagne and they drank until they blacked out. He always felt different from everybody else. When he put substances in his body, it made him feel right. So he would drink/use every chance he got. Once he had a son he began to drink heavily. He attempted to quit drinking. He was in a car accident. When he got out of the hospital, he began to drink again and also use other drugs. His gf/wife was fed up. He tried to quit cocaine, and it just made him drink more. One thanksgiving he woke up in his yard covered with blood (it was from a deer) and it freaked him out. He went into an outpatient program. They recommended AA. He got into it. He stopped going to meetings and started smoking pot. His wife left him and he tried to commit suicide. He went into another program. He decided to get back into AA. He got into another relationship with someone in AA, and it ended badly which made him stop going. He was in debt. After two hours of sobriety, he decided that he had it under control. He relapsed, and when he did it was as if he had never stopped. He felt like when he controlled his drinking, he didn't like it, and when he liked it he couldn't control it.

[23:50] What's your plan for getting past it? To try and stay connected with people. He might go back to school. He wants to help people somehow. He studied social work, which paid but was a heavy responsibility. He recognizes that if he can't find balance he is at risk of losing his job. He's thought about getting back into AA again. He is worried about the stigma. He's worried about anonymity.

[25:57] What are some lessons you have learned about yourself so far in this journey? He now believes that there is an all powerful god that cares about him. When he got to chapter 4 in the big book, he realized that his idea of a higher power wasn't helpful. He associated prayer with drinking. He needed to see that prayer can exist without drinking.

[28:59] When you get cravings, what do you do? Right now he is trying to binge listen to the podcast. Helping other people stay sober helps him stay sober as well. There is no one correct answer.

[30:47] What would you like to talk about right now? How blessed he's been since he started recovery. He's in a new world where he can help other people and even though he doesn't know the plan for his life, he's okay as long as he stays present and awake. He has learned that the problems arise when he thinks too much, or when he focuses on himself. As long as he is useful to other people, it's easier.

[33:47] When are you going to get your help and how? He's been researching counselors in the area. He agrees that he needs to focus on helping himself help himself. He wants to relieve the pressure that he puts on himself.

[36:22] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking? The mornings when he would wake up and he would have no memories.
Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Gradual moments over the last 18 months or so. Watching the rules he set for himself continually break. When he realized the progression is real.
What's your plan moving forward? To "Fill my bucket". To do what's best for me. One day at a time with no substances.
What's your favorite resource in recovery?
What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You have got to take care of yourself. You can't help anybody else if you're all jacked up.
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Don't wait too long. The longer you wait the harder it is to stop. Surround yourself with a community of people who are sober and will show you how it's done.
You might be an alcoholic if… "You wake up naked in the living room and you're lying on the floor with no idea how you got there."

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android Have you filled a bucket lately - A book by Carol McCloud

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

RE 201: Alcohol, Calories and Your Waistline Dec 24, 2018

Show notes

Today we have Jeff, with 38 days since his last drink. During this festive holiday season, we will, no doubt, we encouraged to drink at one point or another. We can't think ourselves out of long-term addiction, but in the moment, there are tools we can use to help gives us the ability to say no. Follow the drink, and play the tape forward. There is plenty of data behind us to help us make an informed decision. If I have this drink, what will happen? Remember why you quit in the first place and remember all of the positive benefits you have experienced from sobriety. We all know alcoholic beverages can pack in the calories, but does alcohol have any nutritional value? It's safe to say that a Twinkie has more nutritional value than any alcoholic beverage. By not drinking, you are not denying yourself of any vital nutrients. In fact, alcohol inhibits general digestion in a big way.

SHOW NOTES

[8:57] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober for 38 days. Jeff is 27 years old, from Quebec City, Canada. He has a corporate job and also works in digital marketing. He is trying to transition to doing his digital job full time. He owns a dog and enjoys sports and reading.

[10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started when he was 13 years old. He never felt in control. He was shy and insecure. Marijuana was his drug of choice for a long time. When he would try to quit smoking marijuana, he found himself drinking more. When he would travel for sports he would notice that eventually he would revert to the same substance abuse patterns.

[13:10] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? Most recently, a few days before his quite date. He went to a bar with the intention of only having a few drinks but ended up staying the entire night, consuming many drinks and then driving home afterward. He feels that one can't quit until the subconscious figures out there is a problem. He needed to re-evaluate his relationship with alcohol. He started with a 30 day sobriety challenge. He recorded a video of himself to help remind him of why he was quitting. He watched a lot of sobriety videos on YouTube.

[21:30] Did you follow a program for your 30 day sobriety challenge? Yes, he followed a program from James Swanick. He sets a daily reminder to help keep him grateful and motivated.

[27:27] Elaborate more about the idea that sobriety has to be a choice for a better life. Make sure that you don't just stay home. Don't deprive yourself of pleasures. You need the brain to realize that it can be sober if all sets of circumstances. He went to a hypnotherapist. He convinced him that everything had to be a conscious choice, and that there were choices happening in his life that he didn't consider. He had to switch the words from "have to" to "choose to".

[32:06] Have you had any cravings or challenges in early sobriety? He keeps listening to podcasts. He is doubling down on what is working. He is reminded of his gratitude and how much energy he has. He hasn't experienced any cravings. His toughest moment was during a doubt of depression caused by a relapse dream. He reached out to the Cafe RE community and got support right away. Just talking about helped him a lot. Cravings are normal and just talking about them will make them go away.

[35:26] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? He wants to execute his business ideas. He wants to share his story. He wants to help other people quit alcohol and drugs. He loves traveling and sports. Sobriety gives him the energy and emotional intelligence to reach his full potential.

[36:48] What have you learned about yourself in the past 30 days? Being vulnerable is being courageous. He has tried to act tough in the past and now he realizes that reaching out and asking for help is the better path to take. This is what true courage is about.

[38:25] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking? Just waking up so feeling so terrible and realizing that he could have lost everything.
Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? On his first day of sobriety, recording a video of why he wanted to quit, and the emotional outpouring that came with it.
What's your plan moving forward? Keep doing what's working. He tries to keep his thinking positive so he doesn't look for something to help him cope with the pain that comes with negativity.
What's your favorite resource in recovery? Cafe RE. He enjoys connecting with the community. Also sobriety videos on YouTube.
What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? To not associate with the word "alcoholic". He preferred to say that he was a sober person with a drinking problem. He's still understanding that he has an issue but it helps point him in the right direction.
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Rewire your subconscious. Also stack your resources. Don't put all of your sobriety eggs in one resource basket. Create accountability.
You might be an alcoholic if… "...it's Sunday night and you have consumed 14 beers. You talk to your mother on the phone and she can't tell that you've been drinking."

Resources:

Beyond the Influence - a book by Katherine Ketcham

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

RE 200: The Cure to Addiction Dec 17, 2018

Show notes

Today we have Walter, with 2½ years since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. The Cure to Addiction… Is it possible? Are we close to a cure? No. AA was founded in 1935, and since then we still don't know what causes it or how to treat it. A holistic cure will attack/treat the root causes. The Rat Park experiment by Bruce Alexander points to the conclusion that the causes of addiction are social and environmental, rather than genetics or chemical dependency. In the study, the addictive tendencies were eliminated when the stress was reduced and the environment changed. Johann Hari's Ted Talk says that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. Addiction is not about the pleasurable effects of substances, rather it is a symptom of the user's inability to form deep connections with other human beings. The phenomena that is addiction will likely die out in a global community whose only borders are the sky.

SHOW NOTES

[16:19] Paul Introduces Walter. Walter is 47 years old, in Waco, TX. He's been sober for over two years. He works in real estate. He is divorced and has a son. He likes hiking, movies and reading. He feels more present with his son now that he is sober. His son had just turned 3 when his wife left.

[19:22] Give us a little background about your drinking. He came from an alcoholic family. Both his dad and uncle both died from alcoholism. His mom got sober when he was 15, right around the time he started to drink. He was a binge drinker. He went to a party school in Colorado. He moved back in with his parents and began to drink alone. He drank his way through his 20's. In his 30's, he married his drinking partner. They had a child. She didn't want to be a mom. He wanted to clean up. They split. The first 90 days were tough. He also quit smoking. He relapsed but hasn't relapsed since then. He is now serious about sobriety. He's active in AA. He just went to Peru with Cafe RE.

[25:15] At what point did your drinking partner relationship turn? They were a rebound relationship. They had a lot in common. She was a great adventure partner. They had a similar relationship with alcohol. They helped each other hide drinking from other people. He feels the presence of his son saved his life.

[29:40] Did you try to moderate? Did you experience a rock bottom moment? He definitely tried to moderate. He always knew about recovery because of his mom. When he drank at a friend's house he woke up and realized he had a problem. He and his wife got divorced. They made it painless, and were both fair. They focused on their son and his needs. He's glad he didn't stay married to another alcoholic.

[34:11] How did you know that this time would be different? Every previous time before this one, sobering up in a jail or spending time in a hospital, he always thought it was bad luck. He still felt in control. At first he went to AlAnon because he thought his wife was the one with the problem, then he realized that he was also an alcoholic. He came out to his mother and spilled everything to her. He needed to tell people he was an alcoholic.

[37:45] What did early recovery look like for you? He didn't know of any other options other than AA, so he jumped in pretty quickly. He started to work the program, and he feels lucky that he has met some great people. Reconnecting with men in sobriety has been good. He has found hope and resilience.

[40:49] What was the Peru trip like for you? It was an awesome opportunity on so many levels. He didn't really know most people when he arrived. He got to know everyone there a little bit at a time. It was not an easy hike but it was worth the trip.

[45:48] What is your recovery like after 2 years? He is addressing his underlying fears that lead him to drinking. His feelings of not being good enough or not being loved. He still deals with a negative inner dialogue. He feels more self aware. His interactions with people have changed. He used to live for comedic validation. He's more accepting of himself and the present moment.

[50:50] Rapid Fire Round

What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in jail on his 5th wedding anniversary.
Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? drawing a blank
What's your plan moving forward? Keep taking it one day at a time. Keep doing what's working. Keep looking for opportunities to be present for people.
What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA, and sober traveling. He loves meeting like minded people.
What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Focus on what you can control. Accept what you can't. Know the difference.
What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? It's ok, just keep trying. When you're ready, it will happen. You don't have to hit bottom first.
You might be an alcoholic if… "...if you get arrested on your 5th wedding anniversary." "...if you're using a fake ID to buy booze so you can drink by yourself before you've turned 21."

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

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