Recovery Elevator

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RE 249: Don't Worry About How to Quit Drinking Nov 25, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Lauren. She took her last drink on November 17, 2018. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about the 'how', and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking. Once you know the 'why' you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself.

If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you. It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down. Put that why to work in your favor.

[13:30] Paul introduces Lauren.

Lauren is 38 years old. She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work. Lauren is married and has 3 children. For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends.

[15:47] Give us a background on your drinking.

Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass. In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man. This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong.

Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it.

In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking.

[19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made?

Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit. Her partner had children so they started doing more family things. In 2011 they were married. Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life.

In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren's drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter. Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off.

[20:25] What happens next?

Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates. She wasn't isolating, she joined a mom's group, and really didn't think she had a drinking problem because she wasn't drinking during the day. Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward. She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that, clearly, her addiction had the upper hand.

[21:40] When did you start to realize there was a problem?

November 20, 2018, they got a phone call, one that you never hope to receive. Lauren's stepson exited his car on a busy roadway and was struck by an oncoming vehicle. They soon learned that his injuries were far too significant for treatment and had to prepare to say goodbye. All the emotions and feelings she had been dousing in alcohol over the years came to the surface.

[23:40] What happened on November 20th?

Lauren says she somehow allowed all those emotions in fully and was unexplainably present in that hospital room. As the hours passed, she began to notice that along with all the pain and sadness in that hospital room there was something beautiful happening. Lauren says she felt gratitude, and felt it in every fiber of her body.

[30:50] What happened after that first AA meeting?

Lauren say she stuck it out with AA and is still working the steps and feels that there is great value to the steps.

[31:30] What was life like after that?

Lauren says the first weeks were really hard, but that all her relationships improved.

[37:38] Talk to us about your experience with the breathwork session we had at the RE Bozeman Retreat.

Lauren says she is glad she didn't know anything about breathwork prior to the session so she just followed directions and was breathing like they said to. Lauren experienced her stepson, Michael, visiting and talking to her during the session.

[48:00] What's on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Travel and showing our daughter the world.

[49:00] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That it's not about alcohol anymore.

What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

The fact that I have memories. Everyday with my family is memorable.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Pamplemousse LaCroix

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, and I do a lot of reading on The Temper.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

You're worth it. You can do it.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You add Tito's to your spiked seltzer.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

RE 248: Your Story Nov 18, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Patrick. He took his last drink on January 1, 2019. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story. This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous. Why? Your story becomes your future. How do we stop this? We learn to protect us from our thoughts. When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear. One way to do this is through meditation.

[11:15] Paul introduces Patrick.

Patrick was born and raised in Boston. He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history. He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter. For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips.

[14:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary. He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor. At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings. Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer.

The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka. After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide. When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital. He is 45 years old. He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox. A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting.

[19:35] What happened next?

Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby. Wasn't what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard. He started hiding bottles all over. Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child.

[33:50] What was different this time?

Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted.

[39:45] How'd you do it??

Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Be fully present in every moment.

[43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way?

Patrick says he is discovering who he's always been.

[45:30] Were there cravings?

Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months.

[47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol?

Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself.

[47:50] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Honesty. I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better.

What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

Camping on the river with my daughter.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Polar Mango Cherry Bliss.

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

A cross country trip with my 6-year-old.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Brutal honesty with self.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

RE 247: Is Alcohol to Blame for Bad Behavior? Nov 11, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Jody. She took her last drink on October 20, 2015. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together. And listeners…you are part of the team!

Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented. You can find a link to the article here.

The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol? The study in this article says no. Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality. Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you.

[10:20] Paul introduces Jody.

Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida. She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach. Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet. She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga.

[13:25] Give us a background on your drinking.

Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college. She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety. After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind. That didn't happen. She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody.

[17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration?

She moved back home and that addiction followed her. It helped her find people that made her feel normal. Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you. So, she did, and she got the job. During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone.

[22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment?

When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules. The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her. She felt her problem was too big. This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore.

[24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore?

Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it's a very dangerous and harmful term to use.

[27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015.

Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired.

[28:20] What happened after that?

Jody says she's pretty much did it on her own. She took it one day at a time. Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded.

[29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how'd you get past them?

Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn't want to drink and she didn't experience cravings.

[30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years.

Jody's first year was dedicated to loving herself. Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset. She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society. This ultimately made her leave AA.

[33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach.

About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free. There is nothing to be ashamed of.

[38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response?

Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it. About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message.

[43:30] Where can people get in contact with you?

You can find Jody on Instagram here.

[44:00] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced.

What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

Being fully present at all times.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita.

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Annie Grace's This Naked Mind, Alan Carr's The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I want to help as many people as I can through coaching.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Be open, and committed. Stay curious.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura

You Can't Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists

https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

RE 246: Oops! I Accidentally Posted That I Quit Drinking on Social Media Nov 04, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Wendall. He took his last drink on June 13, 2019. This is his story.

On today's episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don't drink. He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink.

The 5 responses:

70% of the time you hear total support, "Wow that's so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you."

20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol.

5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don't drink.

4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were.

1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze.

[22:30] Paul introduces Wendall.

Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada. He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries. Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son. For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature.

[23:35] Give us a background on your drinking.

Wendall says he didn't really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996. Up until his late 30's he was mostly a social drinker. Things shifted then. He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed. Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever. With added responsibilities, came anxiety. Drinking then became a coping mechanism. In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren't working.

About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head. He finally decided he couldn't drink anymore.

[34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down?

It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end.

[35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks?

Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits. He started listening to recovery podcasts. His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude. Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters.

[39:20] How long did it take for the new habits to take hold?

Wendall says it only took about 14 days because he wanted it so badly.

[43:00] Have you told your film crew or others in your industry?

Wendall has told his film crew as the situation came up, he simply tells them he just doesn't drink.

[48:24] This project, Sober House, showed up on your plate when you were also exploring a life without alcohol?

Wendall says it showed up in and around the time he was having some internal conflict with his drinking. Listening to the kids in this film talk about how much alcohol has impacted their lives was like the hammer hitting the nail square on the head.

[51:52] How can the listeners find out more information about this project?

They can go to www.soberhouse.ca , they can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at soberhousefilm.

[53:27] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Moments with my son are way better without a hangover.

What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

While filming in the Yukon and coming out of the tent in the morning, mist rising off the lake, the sun streaming down and the mountain revealing itself.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Does ice cream count?

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

I really dialed back into my love of reading. The Recovery Elevator podcast, I binged that pretty hard the first 30 days, same with Recovery Happy Hour.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

To really have great experiences with my family.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

I have 2, the first one is to listen to your body. The second one is listen to your body.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you know where every liquor store is in every major airport in your country.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Sober House film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oERDuy1WxgU&t=72s

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

RE 245: The Runaway Car Oct 28, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Jay. He took his last drink on Decemeber 26th, 2018. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit. Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to.

The response…" You know what, you're heading in the right direction to win. You want to stop. You literally cannot win without that. I've lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop. Wanting to stop provides friction. It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake. Maybe you start an hour later in the day. Maybe you drink one glass less. That helps. It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future."

The intention to stop is the most important thing.

[9:44] Paul introduces Jay.

Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York. He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years. He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle. He enjoys mountain biking and golf. He is married.

[11:05] Give us a background on your drinking.

In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games. In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights. He was a weekend warrior during his twenties. He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn't solve. This is when alcohol really made it's appearance.

[14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking?

Yes. Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind.

[15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there.

Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it. 2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker. He was never saying no, never setting boundaries.

[17:50] Did you ever try to moderate?

Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year. After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up. He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem. Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders.

[27:24] What did you find when you went internal?

Jay learned that he's a people pleaser, that he didn't know what boundaries were, and having his emotional bids minimized really hurt.

[32:20] How'd you do it?

Jay says ever since the moment he told his friend that he has a drinking problem he has not experienced cravings. He has not attended AA, and does not like the term 'alcoholic'.

[33:35] What's been the hardest thing you've gone through in sobriety?

Jay says he's gone through some events where there has been a lot of drinking and when people asked him why he wasn't drinking his reply was, "I have goals so big that I and to give up some things."

[37:15] What advice can you give to guys out there about emotions?

There is no courage without vulnerability.

[41:05] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

Finally digging down to what was causing the sadness and now having an awareness of that.

What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

Those moments where this incredible peace overcomes you.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I drink coffee and water.

What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

Writing in my journal every morning has been a tremendous help.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Fly to California and drive the Pacific Coast Highway from end to end.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Have the courage to be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you.

You might need to ditch the booze if...

If you self-impose a rule of only two 24 oz. Twisted Teas and then switch to Miller Lights because you're worried about cavities.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out. We can do this."

RE 244: The Opposite of Addiction is Connection Oct 21, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Gracie. She took her last drink on September 29, 2018. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about connection. Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others.

For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on. You are listening to the inner voice that isn't craving alcohol, but is craving connection.

How to connect…ask for connection every single morning. Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal. If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth. If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself.

SHOW NOTES

[14:25] Paul introduces Gracie.

Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago. She is 32 years old and is a nurse. Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals. She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober.

[22:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

Gracie didn't start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college. Her drinking didn't get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers. In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself. She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink. By Gracie's late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts.

Gracie says she had a lot of 'soft bottoms' and it wasn't until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking. It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth. As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back.

[37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings?

Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on. She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass. Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn't swallow her whole.

[41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit drinking?

Gracie says there was a lot of heartbreaking moments. She was functioning but her relationships were suffering. She says there was this constant low-grade feeling of disfunction.

[44:50] Share with us how you did it.

Podcasts and books were a big part of her getting sober. For maintenance she uses her sobriety tracker on her phone. She is running a lot and taking her health more seriously.

[46:55] Do you have an in-person community that you meet up with?

Gracie says she does not, but that she thinks that may be what is next. Meetings have never been part of her journey but she says that may be her next step.

[48:12] What was the response when you posted on social media?

Gracie says the response was so supportive and it proved to be a very good thing for her.

[50:25] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

I guess when I first heard, "stop obsessing about the word alcoholic and just look at what drinking is doing in your life.".

What is a gift sobriety has given you?

So much energy.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I love gingerale and I love this Jamaican drink called Ting.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I'm starting some trainings and certifications to become a flight nurse.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Feel your feelings and love yourself. Make sobriety the most important thing in your life.

You might have a drinking problem if...

You are an avid camper and want to achieve the perfect amount of hydration with drunkenness so you mix vodka with flavored Smart Water and just end up making a total ass of yourself.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up.

We can do this."

RE 243: Hope is the Problem Oct 14, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Patty. She took her last drink on July 19, 2017. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

On today's episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff. On the surface hope is great. But where is it located on a timeline? In the future, not in the now.

If hope isn't serving us, then what? Throttle back on the hope and lean into 'this moment'.

SHOW NOTES

[12:00] Paul introduces Patty.

Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK. She currently lives in Corvallis, OR. Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids. She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired. For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing.

[13:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time. It wasn't until she was in her 30's that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone.

When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol. She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years.

[18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you?

In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was. She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself.

[20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks?

Patty said she had a different mindset this time. This time her mindset was one of, 'I don't have to do this (drink) anymore', rather than, 'I can't do this anymore.'

[26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol?

Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn't do that anymore. She has signed up to get her pilot's license, something that she has always wanted to do. Going to the RE Bozeman retreat. She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes.

[30:25] What is something that you've had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn't expect?

Patty's mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn't even seem like an option. It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, but she was able to be present and she didn't have conversations that she regretted later.

[37:20] What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself in these last 2 years?

Patty says it's that she in genuinely a happy person.

[38:00] Was there a rock-bottom moment?

The drive home from the Eugene airport. Also, on July 19 drinking with her daughter, who herself was struggling with alcohol, and her 16-year-old granddaughter.

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I don't have to drink.

What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

Waking up early, I have just started taking a morning Pilates class.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

LaCroix, hands down.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

I hope to live in Panama half of the year, and I'm working on that.

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Definitely Café RE, and I'm a reader so I have every self-help book probably written since 1972.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Think it all the way through, and remember you just don't have to drink.

You might have a drinking problem if...

You consider dropping $100 at every airport bar as just part of your traveling expense.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – We can do this."

RE 242: When to Tackle the Next Addiction Oct 07, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Kelly. she took her last drink on October 27, 2017. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about his idea of opening an in person, wellness retreat center in Costa Rica. And while he has been working to create space for this idea and concept, and believes that the body is on board, there is still some discomfort getting out of his comfort zone.

The fact is, we all have rough days, including Paul. He says it's important to give the body permission to feel the feelings, and also to give the body permission to allow them to go.

Paul also addresses the question of, when do you know it's a good time, after quitting alcohol, to start tackling other substances, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.? Paul's advice is to go slow and to be patient, your body will know when it is time.

SHOW NOTES

[15:15] Paul introduces Kelly.

Kelly is 54 years old. She is married and has 2 adult children. Kelly is a full-time social worker at a hospital, and she speaks Spanish. For fun Kelly would like to get back into collecting vintage clothing. She likes to read and is looking forward to getting into outdoor activities.

[19:30] Give us a background on your drinking.

Kelly started drinking in 9th grade, just your average high school drinker. By her 2nd year of high school she feels she was drinking more regularly. She didn't think she has a problem with alcohol because she wasn't like her father. In 1987 she moved, thinking that that would fix any drinking issues she had.

[31:05] What happened right before you quit drinking?

There were a lot of stresses going on. She was constantly afraid of being pulled over to started to us LYFT. There was a lot of risk taking. She started buying bigger bottles.

Her son started to go to meetings for his own addictions. One nigh he told Kelly he didn't feel it was safe for him to live at home, because of her drinking. That was the last night she drank.

[39:15] Talk to us about how you are embracing AA and the other side?

For the first 18 months Kelly was only doing AA. But she was also reading a ton of books by/or about women alcoholics. She says the AA meeting have been helpful but that she is bothered by some of the steps.

[53:00] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I am as strong as I am.

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

I like kombucha, and I like coffee.

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

I like Russel Brands' Recovery on CD. I listen to him in the car. AA meetings, I do like 3-4 a week, and the Big Book.

What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Eventually liking the outdoors. Getting outside more.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Listen to any voice inside that is telling you that something is wrong.

You might have a drinking problem if...

You are 23-year-old woman that has gout.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up."

RE 241: Life Synergies Sep 30, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Dan. He took his last drink on July 28, 2018. This is his story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

On today's episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride. We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma.

He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book. And she was able to share. Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say.

SHOW NOTES

[10:10] Paul introduces Dan.

Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14. He works as a retail executive. He lives in New York and enjoys cycling.

[12:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college. He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that. He didn't realize he had an issue, but his wife did. He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night.

[15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, "how can I quit?".

Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up. About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident. His doctors took great care of him and he hasn't had a drink since.

[18:10] What happened after the accident?

He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke. After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house. Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool. His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn't belong. He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong.

[24:05] How are you feeling now?

Dan says it's a little bit of 'he's going to show them (his friends and family)' and it's a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks.

[26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink?

Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it.

[28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, "why would you?", can you answer that question?

Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it.

[39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling.

Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol. He is feeling more connected to his family.

[40:25] What's on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life?

Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that's like and racing again.

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, "why the F would you?".

What's a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?

A better connection with my children and my wife.

What is your favorite poison free drink?

Diet Coke, I drink too much of it. I also like a nice latte.

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

It's not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you're under you need a release and a hobby.

You might have a drinking problem if...

You're a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out."

RE 240: How do I Make it Stop? Sep 23, 2019

Show notes

Today we have Rose. She took her last drink on March 12, 2019. This is her story.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here!

On today's episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August. One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here.

And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat.

SHOW NOTES

[22:20] Paul introduces Rose.

Rose is 37 years old. She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France. Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English. She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son. For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs.

[25:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

Rose started drinking as a teenager. She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal. At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking. She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship. Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20's getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship.

Rose then spent time on a friend's large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking. She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist. Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying.

[28:25] What happens next?

Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work. In 2016 she had her son. She says after the birth of her son she fell into the 'mommy drinking' culture. Rose also started to feel like an imposter. Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally.

[32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze?

Rose says a big part of it was moving to France in 2017. She found France's drinking culture to be the polar opposite of New Zealand's which made her feel out of place. Even though she knew she needed to stop her drinking ramped up at the beginning of this year after the death of a close friend.

[35:15] What happened on March 12th?

Rose says she had started to drink during the daytime, when she wasn't on pick-up duty with her son. She also started smoking cigarettes. She started feeling guilty about not being present as a parent. She reached out to an American friend she had met on that sailing ship that was posting about being sober. This friend led her to Café RE.

[38:50] How did you do it?

Rose says she told her husband, creating some accountability. Her husband was very supportive. The removed all the alcohol from the house and Rose declined engagements for a while. She joined Café RE and jumped in and starting participating and getting involved.

[48:50] How have things changed in an alcohol-free life?

Rose says she's a better mother, she's present. She has an increase in self-love and self-worth.

[55:05] Rapid Fire Round

What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

Pineapple and lime sparkling water.

What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

I loved The Joy of Being Sober book. I also really love Josh Korda's Dharmapunx podcast. There is a New Zealand woman named Lotta Dann and she has a book, and blog, by the same name called, Mrs. D is Going Without.

What's on your bucket list now that alcohol isn't part of your life?

A lot more travel, I love to travel. To be able to help someone else get sober.

And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Connect, connect with people. Look for the similarities and not the differences.

You might have a drinking problem if...

You're drinking wine out of a coffee mug just so the neighbors won't know because it's 11 AM on a Monday.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up."

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