Recovery Elevator

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RE 289: Co-occurring Issues Aug 31, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Early. She took her last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical.

Odette reminds us that we are not alone.

[5:23] Odette introduces Early.

Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores.

Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them.

[8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?

Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now.

By 18 Early was drinking daily and that's the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didn't work and AA wasn't the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit.

[11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis?

Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Early's therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse.

[13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses?

Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They weren't given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank.

[16:20] What happened after you left the hospital?

Early said that they knew they needed to remove alcohol but had no tools. They would white knuckle it for a few days and then drink. Over time they began to find different tools that worked for them. They incorporated yoga, drinking more water, changing their diet, getting regular sleep (basic needs as Early says!). However, the feeling of shame and the belief that they are a bad person remained. Early began drinking in secret and isolating themselves in-between moments of white knuckling sobriety.

[20:12] You seem to have such grit. Where did this come from and how did you find the determination to keep trying?

Early said their last night of drinking was an average night of drinking. The change began a year ago when their father passed away suddenly. They saw life from outside their own for the first time. That winter they declared that they would do anything to get sober. They kept trying and using all the tools they had learned over the years of trying to quit. They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and that helped to cut the shame. Early learned they were worthy of love and happiness. They describe themselves as a hard headed stubborn determined person and that might be the grit that is seen.

[27:51] How is it balancing and navigating symptoms from these disorders?

Early said that preventative maintenance for everything has dulled down many of the symptoms day to day. Every day they make sure they are getting proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and feeding their soul. Taking care of the body and mind at a baselevel is paramount.

[29:58] Tell me about the people surrounding you?

Early said they understands they hurt a lot of people and people who left did so for a reason. And now the longer they are sober and people see them out doing the work, people are slowly returning into their life.

[34:06] Can you tell me about your routine?

Early said that they have a morning routine. Every day they try to wake up at the same time, drink water, walk their dogs, eat, take herbs, do meditation, work on a project that makes them proud (currently building their own house). In the evenings, eat dinner, listen to a podcast, do some meditation and go to sleep at the same time.

[35:37] Tell me more about building your own house.

Early said when they first moved to this property there was a dilapidated shack there and they lived there for about 4 years. Upon getting sober, they demolished the house and started to build their own with their neighbors.

[35:57] Rapid Fire Round

What would you say to your younger self?

Stick with it, you're worth it and things will change for the better.

What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey?

Neuroplasticity

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough

What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners that want help ditching the booze and help with their mental health?

Don't compare yourself to others story. You're worth getting ahold of your drinking and your mental health. Do the work.

You may have to say adios to booze...

if you have woken up covered in blue vomit…. Twice.

Odette's final thoughts this week:

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment." – Eckhart Tolle

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – "Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance."-Eckhart Tolle- I love you guys"

RE 288: AF Drink Options With Gruvi Aug 24, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Anika. She is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don't have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy.

[4:53] Odette introduces Anika.

Anika is sober curious so she's not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling.

[6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey.

Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying "I don't want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over." She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive.

[9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age?

Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant.

[11:15] How did Grüvi start?

Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it's a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi.

[12:34] Where did the name come from?

Anika said Grüvi is taking the word "groovy" and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol.

[14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi?

Currently, there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a process of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV.

They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020.

[20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)?

Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too.

[23:10] What's it like working with your family?

Anika said so far, it's been great! They are living together again as a family and it's been smooth. She's enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this.

[33:30] What are you excited about right now?

Anika said every day is new and exciting. Grüvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together.

[36:50] Rapid Fire Round

Other than Grüvi, what's your favorite NA beverage?

Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte.

What is a memorable moment you've had while not drinking?

Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music.

What are some of your favorite resources?

Books:

The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind

Instagram accounts:

@Ditchedthedrink

@soberbabes

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose.

Odette's challenge this week:

Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join Café Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we don't try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey.

Email Odette here and tell her what you tried.

Grüvi discount detail:

For 15% off your order with Grüvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – Let's be respectful of others, lets focus on similarities and not differences, let's make space for those who are different than us instead of automatically canceling them out- I love each and every one of you guys"

RE 287: Should We Be Drinking Less? Aug 17, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Alan. He took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette's weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.

The New York Times article "Should We Be Drinking Less?" is from July 10th, 2020. It's the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it's seen as ok in the eyes of society.

There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what's acceptable when drinking.

[7:47] Odette introduces Alan.

Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend's house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn't want to live that way any longer.

Alan's daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He's in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he's sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton.

[18:37] Walk me through your drinking career.

Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank.

[27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month?

Alan said Café RE was the springboard to connection. He didn't realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally.

[33:36] What works for you when you have a craving?

Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in Café RE. The biggest one is from Paul's book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to "play the tape forward". While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. He's seen the movie, he knows the ending and it's not good!

[36:11] How has your family dynamic changed?

Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While he's always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and that's a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on.

[41:00] What have you discovered about yourself?

Alan said he's learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him.

[42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say?

Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone.

[43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously?

Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk.

[44:52] Rapid Fire Round

What do you bring to a BYO party?

Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink

What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked?

Myth: You can't have fun without drinking.

Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!)

Do you celebrate milestones?

Yes, but the journey is never ending.

What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?

If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift!

You may have to say adios to alcohol...

if you're at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking.

Odette's challenge this week:

Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – How about we just stick to La Croix, sound good?- I love you guys"

RE 286: It's Never Too Late To Quit Drinking Aug 10, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Jim. He took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker's Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract.

RASINS

Recognize

Allow

Set aside the story

Investigate what is happening in your body

Name the sensations

Surf

Let's set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS.

Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable.

[7:12] Odette introduces Jim.

Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He's been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too!

[11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?

Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his "beautiful bride" while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn't drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned.

[15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren't allowed back home?

Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim's circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision.

[22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding?

Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things.

[25:38] Do you still have cravings?

Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to "not let it shake your tree" because this will pass.

[27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey?

Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day.

[28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine?

Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why he's stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation.

[33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day?

Jim said he doesn't struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what he's grateful for and on a positive note.

[34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns?

Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly.

[37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you?

Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. He's learned we can all do this.

[39:00] What are you excited about right now?

Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. He's no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open.

[40:54] Rapid Fire Round

What is your favorite NA beverage?

Flavored water.

What is a drinking myth you've seen debunked?

If you're old there's no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!)

What would you say to Day 1 Jim?

Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, it's going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this.

What are some words of wisdom you can share with listeners?

I could have done this sooner, just let it go. There's a family out there ready to help you. You can do this.

You may have to say adios to alcohol...

Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator!

Odette's challenge this week:

Write down the meaning of RASINS and put it into practice this week.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out- I love you guys"

RE 285: Impermanence is triggering, but does it have to be? Aug 03, 2020

Show notes

Today we have John. He took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön's "When Things Fall Apart".

"Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again-- in the same way, everything is constantly evolving."

Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let's sit with it and see where we can go.

[6:53] Odette introduces John.

John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active.

[11:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?

John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 - 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life.

[14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working?

John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family.

Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple.

[25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences?

John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn't have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life.

[28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different?

John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment.

[32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?

John said he's a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when he's "done for the day" is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer.

[34:55] What's your favorite NA beer brand?

He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it.

Gruvi IPA

Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- it's a very hop-forward IPA.

[36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations?

John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision.

[39:16] Have you received any pushback?

John said that his true friends are supportive. There's the occasional random person who isn't in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place.

[41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about?

John said he's just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. He's looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family and with his wife. There's a positive future ahead.

[43:59] Rapid Fire Round

What is a memorable moment you've had so far?

Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019.

What are some of your favorite resources?

Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard)

What would you say to Day 1, John?

It's going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife.

What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?

Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there.

Odette's challenge this week:

What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are you not allowing yourself to enjoy it now that you have it out of fear that it will be gone? Everything that you have in your life right now is a gift if you choose to see it that way. So just think about that prompt.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – Every single thing that you are looking for is already inside of you- I love you guys"

RE 284: B is for Boundaries Jul 27, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Andrew. He took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Finding the better you with Odette. Today's topic: Setting boundaries.

According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that's normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often.

[8:25] Odette introduces Andrew.

Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF.

He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike.

[14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?

Andrew's first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn't drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn't stop drinking.

Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn't go to the shops without his kids mentioning "oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad".

[21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life?

Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn't able to stop and drank up to surgery and that's when he realized it was a problem.

[22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking?

Andrew said he simply decided he wasn't going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn't have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids.

[24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting?

Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning.

[26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work?

Andrew explained that it wasn't a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks.

[28:06] How had fatherhood changed?

Andrew said he's more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong.

[28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?

Andrew said he's still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isn't available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group.

[34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision?

Andrew hasn't received one negative comment from the people he's told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues.

[37:46] What possibilities are you excited for?

Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. He's looking to purchase a home with the money he's saving from not drinking.

[38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him?

You will encounter slip ups, but don't beat yourself up. It's ok to not be perfect. Every day you don't drink is perfect. There are no wasted days.

[39:40] Rapid Fire Round

What is a lightbulb moment you've had in this journey?

How different the world is sober. These a lot of good in small things.

What is a memorable moment you've had so far?

Knowing that I have enough strength to actually do this.

What is your favorite AF beverage?

Slurpees.

What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?

Just jump in and try. Build the muscle, keep working at it.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You drink drive on the way home, but you actually ride a motorbike.

Odette's challenge this week:

Set a new boundaries and try it out!

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – When you say no to somebody else, you say yes to yourself. Remember to stay weird and protect your energy- I'll see you next Monday.- I love you guys"

RE 283: What do you do with a Problem? Jul 20, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Heidi. She took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol.

One of the most important books in Odette's life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she's not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all….

Storytime with Odette!

What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada

[8:13] Odette introduces Heidi.

Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she's lived all over. Right now she's in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She's an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends.

[14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Heidi's first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she "doing fine."

[19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little?

Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking.

[17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date?

Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well.

Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking.

One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed.

[33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability.

Heidi craves connection and doesn't find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a moment's notice, she can give support and get support from the community.

[38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days?

Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. She's having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband.

[43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now?

Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side.

[42:20] Rapid Fire Round

If you could talk to Day 1 Heidi, what would you tell her?

You can do things that you don't think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving.

What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

You already know what that life is like, so why not just try.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bought when it arrives on your doorstep.

Odette's challenge this week:

Take time this week to notice what you've been putting under the category of problems in your mind. Think about those problems and try to reframe. Can you see some opportunities coming out of them? Let yourself feel hopeful about the possibility that problems bring with them. They are there you just have to look at things differently. Remember that you are not alone and that together is always better.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – This isn't a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life – I love you guys."

RE 282: Is it Working? Jul 13, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Michael. He took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.

[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.

Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family.

[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn't drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.

After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.

[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?

Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn't living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn't quit was his bottom.

[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.

Michael said he woke up and said to himself "I need to quit, again." He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.

[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?

Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it's ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.

[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?

Michael said that he's happy and no longer hiding from his family. He's a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He's always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.

[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.

Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he's open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.

[30:22] What is your social life like now?

Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he's comfortable around alcohol.

[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?

Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He's also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.

One particular goal of Michael's is to run a marathon.

[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?

Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He's excited about mowing the lawn now!

[37:35] Do you still get cravings?

Michael said he doesn't get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.

[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?

Keep trying. Even if you don't succeed today you can try again tomorrow.

[38:59] Rapid Fire Round

What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.

What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

That I am able to stop drinking.

What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you don't keep trying.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

You've ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this - I love you guys,"

RE 281: Rewriting Memos Jul 06, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Sara. She took her last drink on December 2nd, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion.

[6:24] Odette introduces Sara.

Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband's food (he's a great cook!).

[12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

Sara said she didn't drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn't feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal.

December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day.

[20:16] How was it early in your journey?

Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay.

[30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately?

Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn't believe her at first, she wouldn't have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over.

[35:04] What's in your recovery toolbelt these days?

Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is "No treat is off-limits." Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside.

[40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her?

This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges.

[40:00] Rapid Fire Round

What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink.

What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids.

What are you excited about right now?

The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time.

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Don't cut out alcohol without adding in other things you're excited about.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

If you download a habit tracking app to make sure you're sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that you're over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit.

Odette's challenge this week:

Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Don't think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to odette@recoveryelevator.com

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It's free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
You can find more information about our events

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – Let's walk this path and let's walk it together - we love you guys,"

RE 280: Prepping for an Alcohol Free 4th of July Jun 29, 2020

Show notes

Today we have Hannah. She took her last drink on April 16th, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Paul has created a new meditation. It's 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free.

Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks "how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?" A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink.

Here's a list of how to not drink this weekend

Bring your own drinks, make it special!
Tell someone you don't want to drink. It's ok to ask for help
Let yourself have fun.
Have one goal for the day- Don't drink.
Leave if you're uncomfortable.

[9:00] Odette introduces Hannah.

Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she's been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out.

[12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days?

Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path.

[14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again?

Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically.

[16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What's your drinking background?

Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn't serving her.

[20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action?

Hannah said there wasn't a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that weren't the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real.

The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF.

[28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking?

Hannah said he hasn't ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking.

[30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. What's in your recovery toolbox?

Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important.

[32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks)

Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house.

[34:59] What's your favorite NA drink?

Pamplemousse La Croix.

[35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey?

Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but there's still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful.

[36:20] What gets you excited in life right now?

Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present.

[38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking?

Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around she's trying to be more honest with friends. In the moment there are always people who question why she's not drinking.

[39:22] If you could talk to Day 1 Hannah, what would you say to her?

Just wait it out. Life is so much better without alcohol.

[40:00] Rapid Fire Round

What is a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey?

How quickly I can progress without alcohol.

What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being in the moment and not being hungover.

What are some of your favorite resources?

Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, talking to more people who don't drink, Sober Happy Hour, Quit Lit,

What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do. Only you can decide that.

You may need to ditch the booze if...

If you go to the store, buy a bottle of wine, pour ½ down the drain so you won't drink it all, drink that and then return to the store to get another bottle of wine.

Odette's challenge this week:

Take a picture of your 4th of July contribution. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com

"Recovery Elevator – Stay cool, stay weird, stay safe and stay healthy- we love you guys,"

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