Real Recovery Talk

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57 - The Importance or Exercise When Getting Clean and Sober Mar 07, 2019

Show notes

Getting clean and sober can be stressful. We try to do everything possible to help people going through recovery deal with stress. It's scientifically proven that exercise will help reduce stress levels. This is why we can't emphasize the importance of exercise enough in the process of getting clean and sober.

Today's episode is about exercise and why it is important to incorporate into your journey. Tom and Ben will be discussing this important topic along with the benefits of exercising throughout the recovery process and how exercise can affect your overall physical and mental well being. It can even have an effect on heart health and inflammatory issues.

Show Notes

[02:23] Stress reduction. Exercise is a natural stress reducer. It naturally correlates with the chemicals in your brain. It also gives you an opportunity to take your mind off of whatever you've been thinking about for the day.
[03:42] Getting clean and sober can be stressful. There are a lot of things that you aren't used to doing that you now have to do while you're sober.
[04:20] There is even research out there that shows stress can cause heart and inflammatory issues.
[04:50] Exercise also incorporates into time management. Going to the gym right after work gives you an opportunity to step away from the stressors of the day.
[05:46] If you exercise, you get better sleep. Most people in recovery are prescribed some type of sleep aid. It's hard to fall asleep when you first begin recovery.
[06:52] It's extremely beneficial to wean off of the sleep meds, and exercise can help you do this.
[09:57] Seroquel is an antipsychotic used for sleep. It makes you tired and makes you sleep. Tom became dependent on it.
[11:29] Tom has to do something exercise-related during the day even if it's just going for some walks. It definitely helps him sleep.
[12:15] In Ben's opinion, sleep medication helps maintain the addicts behavior and mentality.
[13:11] While we're sleeping our bodies rejuvenate and repair themselves.
[13:51] Improves mood. Exercising actually improves your mood. Exercise helps with the depression and anxiety that people in recovery frequently have.
[15:45] We just built a gym and run our clients through a workout routine. We ask them to pay attention to their mood before and after the exercise. We frequently see people walk out of the exercise session with a smile on their face.
[17:32] Opiates release endorphins. A runner's high is similar to the endorphins from opiates. It's the same chemicals on the brain.
[19:48] Most people who get regular exercise aren't depressed.
[20:10] CrossFit or something with a community workout gives people a sense of accomplishment.
[21:15] We find exercises that we can modify for all of our clients.
[22:06] Increase of energy. Energy capital. Even though exercising expends energy, by exercising you end up with more energy throughout the day.
[24:05] Coffee and energy drinks are not the only way to energize.
[25:26] If you work out you sleep better, if you sleep better you have more energy. It all comes full circle.
[26:01] Exercise gives you a stronger immune system. It's important to have a strong immune system during recovery, because you don't want to get sick.
[27:20] Exercise can help push out the last of the detox process.
[28:49] Pot is fat soluble and can store in your fat cells.
[30:07] Exercising as a whole will help with relapse prevention.
[30:24] It's a challenge, it gives you purpose, it's something you enjoy, you sleep better and feel better.
[30:59] Also add good nutrition and have a sense of community or a 12-step program, and you will be setting yourself up for success.
[31:44] Tom just competed in a US powerlifting competition.
[32:29] A big part of recovery is fellowship.
[35:12] We have seen exercise work time and time again. It helps with mood and everything else.
[35:47] This is why we incorporate exercise into our programs. We give people the tools they need and coach them through the workouts.

Links and Resources:

Ep. 27 – Is Steroid Use in Recovery Considered a Relapse?

56 - Cotton Fever - What Are the Symptoms and How Do I Know If I Have It? Feb 28, 2019

Show notes

Cotton Fever is the name of a condition that is caused by bacteria getting into the blood and creating extreme flu like symptoms and uncontrollable shaking. Unfortunately, addicts will use cotton to filter heroin before injecting it. If the cotton contains bacteria, it can get into the syringe and then the addict's blood stream and create this condition.

In this episode, Tom and Adam discuss the symptoms and Ben shares some personal experiences that happened, before he was in recovery. The whole purpose of this episode is to make people aware of this condition, the symptoms, and what to do if they experience these symptoms. We also talk about the deeper issue of finding help for addiction and eliminating these dangerous behaviors.

Show Notes

[02:05] Cotton fever is caused by germs left in cotton that is used to filter drugs before being put in a syringe. The bacteria gets injected into the bloodstream.
[04:24] Ben and his girlfriend both got cotton fever. He shot the heroin, and then got a severe headache, involuntary muscle shaking, and severe flu like symptoms.
[05:38] His roommates could hear him moaning and got him some Tylenol and NyQuil.
[06:20] Cotton fever doesn't seem to be fatal, but the symptoms are severe. Ben was scared when he saw his fiance go through it.
[07:54] She was really frightened and even called her mother. They wanted to go to the hospital but were afraid of getting arrested.
[08:15] They waited it out through the night. They felt a little better in the morning.
[08:56] There isn't a lot of medical research on cotton fever. It is similar to flu like symptoms. Fever, nausea, anxiety, shaking, it can mimic withdrawal.
[10:32] The symptoms are a bit different than withdrawal.
[11:38] If it doesn't subside in a few hours or days, an antibiotic is necessary to kill the bacteria in the bloodstream.
[12:24] It's probably not safe to assume that your severe symptoms are cotton fever. Seek help if something is wrong.
[13:32] Ben also had a girlfriend who got a staph infection in her arm.
[14:46] Ben was in detox and a woman who was there shot heroin with well water that wasn't sterilized and got an infection in her brain through her blood.
[16:14] Opiates take a lot of the part of the brain that gives you the ability to have logical thought.
[18:50] Addiction is scary and can cause people to make very bad decisions when it comes to how they get high.
[20:44] If you think you have cotton fever don't freak out too much. Treat it with some Tylenol, take a warm bath and get some sleep. Drink water not alcohol.
[21:24] The main thing that Adam wants to talk about is you shouldn't shoot heroin in the first place.
[21:39] There are so many dangers involved. It's like Russian Roulette. Especially with all the dangerous fentanyl floating around.
[23:19] If you're making a phone call about cotton fever or you're concerned about cotton fever, there is something wrong.
[24:12] If you're having symptoms, and you feel you need to see a doctor, please go see a doctor.

Links and Resources:

Tom@RealRecoveryTalk.com
Ben@RealRecoveryTalk.com
Adam@RealRecoveryTalk.com

55 - What Is Proper Structure in Sober Living With Crazy Keith Feb 21, 2019

Show notes

Tom and Benjamin B. are joined by Keith. Keith is a rockstar when he plays the guitar. He is also here to talk about why it's so important to have structure within sober living. There are some places that don't have any structure, but a guy like Keith could whip them into shape really fast.

Keith is a behavioral health tech. He has also been a house manager, and he is a recovering addict. He tells it like it is, but is able to do it in a way where he doesn't offend people and is able to gain the respect of the clients. This episode is a great insight into how structure can help someone move forward with their life.

Show Notes

[03:00] Ben and Keith have known each other for at least three years now. Keith is also in recovery, and he is a behavioral health tech.
[03:12] Keith is known for some methods that are tied into the structure and regimen that we are going to be talking about today.
[03:30] Keith is an addict. He came to Florida in 2013 from a homeless shelter. This is where he first learned to start having a regimen.
[04:16] He didn't want to be drunk, high, and irresponsible anymore.
[05:12] Get up in the morning, make your bed, do your dishes, take a shower, and take care of yourself.
[05:42] A lot of clients that we deal with tend to be a little bit spoiled. Keith had limited resources, but took what was available and applied what he needed to.
[07:06] Keith was grateful to have a roof over his head at the homeless shelter when it was snowing outside.
[08:04] Keith lost everything and anything that came to him after that he considers a gift.
[10:27] Tom and Ben both started this text as well.
[10:47] Keith demands respect, and he is very straightforward with his clients.
[12:53] Clients spend 90% of the day with the techs, and it might just be the most important position here.
[13:53] You have to think about what the client is going through.
[15:18] People aren't perfect. Who runs treatment centers? People.
[17:03] The work actually starts after you get sober.
[17:34] A house manager is someone with a certain amount of sobriety time. This is one of the hardest positions to find.
[19:13] It's really a job on top of a job.
[20:28] Being a house manager was an opportunity that Keith took while he was also working another full-time job.
[20:42] This was his opportunity to make things different and fix things that were wrong when he was a client.
[22:02] Keith has flipped mattresses, and even set up a guy's entire room in a gazebo.
[24:04] Keith is always involved in exciting stuff, and his life looks like a blast. The clients seem to pick up on that.
[25:00] He'll go diving and jump out of a plane all in one day. He has also broken every bone in his body.
[26:34] Say what you mean, but don't say it mean.
[29:05] Experience is what Keith had to bring to the table.
[31:25] There is meant to be confrontation in treatment. The job is to give people the opportunity to utilize coping skills.
[33:15] It's a client's responsibility to contribute to the safety of the treatment program.
[34:07] There are people from all walks of life with every defect in the house.
[36:22] Keith has opinions that bring truth and help the treatment plan have balance.
[41:41] Keith is from the Bronx. He presents himself for who he is.

Links and Resources:

54 - A Broken Home May Have Fueled His Addiction from Myles Feb 14, 2019

Show notes

Adam and Tom are joined by Myles today. Myles is 23 years old, and this is his first serious time in treatment. When he was 19, his parents forced him to go into treatment, but his heart wasn't into it. He left after 20 days. He shares his journey and how alcohol contributed to a serious health issue.

Myles is now committed to treatment. In this episode, we talk about what has changed for him and what has shifted in his head to convince him to take treatment more seriously. He also shares how he went from a lonely place to feeling connected and being part of the community.

Show Notes

[03:57] Myles started drinking at the bar, and then just started drinking about a fifth of whiskey each night.
[05:43] His parents got divorced when he was six.
[06:44] His dad got remarried when he was seven, and he had a new stepmom and two step sisters.
[07:23] Myles was by himself when he was six during those formative years. Drugs and alcohol became an escape for a period of time.
[08:14] He loved pot the first time he tried it.
[08:41] When he was a senior in high school his pot smoking really took off.
[09:23] He played division 3 NCAA football. He was an offensive line left guard. He was around 300 pounds.
[10:21] He lost around 70 lbs in his first year of football. He then packed all the weight back on, because he was drinking. Then he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and ended up in the hospital and lost all the weight.
[11:00] The doctors think the congestive heart failure was related to the drinking.
[13:19] Drinking and smoking weed temporarily made Myles problems go away.
[15:47] Myles went to live with his grandparents in Savannah, Georgia. The isolation became worse, and he started drinking again.
[18:25] Father Martin says if we don't handle our emotions they will always handle us.
[19:07] If you hold emotions in, they are going to come out in negative ways.
[20:23] Myles loved it when he first came to Florida. He needed help, because he couldn't put the bottle down by himself.
[22:07] He is harnessing his past as a positive.
[23:58] Myles wants to feel like he belongs and being part of the recovery community is helping him get there.
[24:38] He found that he can contribute to the community and that life is worth living.
[26:25] Myles was reluctant to feel vulnerable, because it made him feel like he was searching for pity or that he didn't deserve sympathy.
[27:35] He finally saw that he had to be vulnerable to heal. He is getting over a lifetime of holding things in. This made him feel lighter.
[30:04] Not letting people in can feel safe, but it's also very damaging.
[31:17] Myles was actually thinking about continuing to smoke weed, but he realized that it wasn't a good idea for him.
[33:35] Reach out don't make excuses to be alone in life.

Links and Resources:

Father Martin's Chalk Talk on Alcohol

53 - Matthew the Musician Feb 07, 2019

Show notes

Our Guest today is Matthew the musician. He has never been to treatment before and is 1 day clean. he is going to share his story and what his expectations are. Since he has never been to treatment before this is going to be a learning experience for him.

In this show, he gets the opportunity to ask us questions and we get the opportunity to ask him questions. This show is a good Insight on the perspective of someone who has never done this before and is 1 day clean. Rene and Benjamin join Tom today in this special show with Matt.

Show Notes

[03:11] Matt has a twin brother and life has been pretty great. He moved from Connecticut to Westchester, New York when he was about 10.
[03:26] He started using pot when he was 11, and then moved on to psychedelics, heroin, and benzos.
[04:26] He used substances for about 22 years.
[04:47] When he was 11, he took a cigarette out of the ashtray that turned out to be pot. Age 15 and 16 were formative years for his drug use.
[06:36] When he was around 12, he started playing guitar and got into music.
[08:00] Matt wants to get sober and take his music career further.
[09:06] Matt hasn't seen his child in five years, and he believes it's due to his lifestyle choices.
[12:15] Matt is interested in finding out why he took such comfort in changing his state of mind when he was younger.
[13:39] His motivating factor in seeking treatment is that he's just really tired.
[17:27] Matt knows he needs help and can't do it alone. That is why he is here.
[19:23] He hopes that life is different in a more positive productive way when he is done with treatment.
[20:48] Matt tried AA last year.
[22:27] The recovery culture and 12-step meetings in South Florida are amazing.
[24:02] AA and NA give us an opportunity to devote time to our recovery.
[24:24] Matt is going to be here in treatment for the next 30 days.
[25:01] Being open to suggestion is the best place someone can be when they choose to go to treatment.
[25:47] Matt doesn't know how he'll feel at the end of the 30 days, he's not sure if he'll be completely cured.
[26:22] The most important thing for Matt is getting better.
[27:08] After 30 days of treatment, people rarely go back to life like nothing has happened.
[29:48] Doing it alone is impossible.
[29:52] It's a daunting task to cure people in 30 days. It takes about three weeks just to get a feel of how a person is.
[32:04] People like Matt need people like Ben and Rene and Tom who devote their time to helping people.
[33:34] It's refreshing to see someone with Matt's attitude.

Links and Resources:

52 - Mark Jennison: I Am A Comeback Jan 31, 2019

Show notes

Mark Jennison the founder and CEO of I Am A Comeback is here today. I Am A Comeback is a program created by Mark to help men who are high-level earners and executives get their addiction under control. He has an online component, and he holds his clients accountable by texting them everyday.

Mark helps many men get back on track. One of the interesting things about him is that he takes a very different approach than I do. His unique approach is different than AA. It doesn't even focus on complete abstinence. Although, that is the goal. It is about the Comeback 7. Find out about Mark and his wild story and his unique program that is helping men to regain control of their lives.

Show Notes

[02:03] The whole purpose of recovery is to make sure that you get better. Addiction doesn't discriminate.
[02:49] Mark is 38 years old. He had been drinking and using drugs since he was 14 years old. He has been clean and sober for four years.
[03:19] Things got rocky when he was 19 or 20 years old.
[03:45] He was dating a woman who became a stripper, and it broke his heart. This was the catalyst for finding ways to take away the hurt.
[04:26] He moved to Southern California and drugs and drinking were prevalent. Being able to drink other people under the table to find who he was.
[05:00] He drank in Southern California from 2000 to 2007.
[05:39] He then began doing crystal meth. It seemed like it made him better, until it made him worse.
[06:25] He then went back to Wisconsin and slept on his brother's couch.
[06:51] His uncle owned a trucking company. Mark helped grow the company into a different company.
[07:37] He was still involved with drugs and alcohol, but he now had the ability to make money.
[08:02] He built the company into a multimillion-dollar company. He also got married and had a child.
[08:17] He still drank, did drugs, and went to strip clubs.
[08:52] He went from being a millionaire to his life unraveling. He went on a trip to Jamaica and when he came home his business was in shambles.
[09:25] He wasn't able to make payroll, and his company failed.
[09:55] He lost the business in 2013. He hit rock bottom and was suicidal.
[11:35] He met a girl who was using heroin and next thing you know he started doing heroin. A friend of his joined them and then OD'd on heroin.
[12:42] Mark lost everything.
[13:29] He then got sober for a brief time and built another business.
[14:17] He then started network marketing an sold Isagenix protein shakes.
[15:36] He then started selling cars. Once he had cash, he started drinking again.
[16:17] It seemed like he would always relapse between May and July after getting sober.
[16:32] He went to a treatment center in Rockford, Illinois. He got out after 28 days.
[18:09] He did just one shot which led to many more shots and another relapse and more heroin.
[18:29] It took six hours for him to leave rehab and relapse.
[21:05] After relapsing over and over, Mark decided to finally get his life back.
[23:21] AA didn't work for him, so he went to a church.
[24:33] He started putting pieces in place like faith, family, fitness, and making money.
[25:31] His moral inventory wasn't about who he hurt, it was more about why he hurt.
[30:02] There are parallels between Mark and Tom's life, because they were both in the car business.
[30:36] Tom got baptized when he was 23 years old. The 12 Steps also played a big part in his life.
[32:06] It doesn't make sense to mark that there is only one way to get sober.
[32:58] People who have the resources go to South Florida to get sober.
[33:29] People value what they put their money into.
[34:57] Mark's clientele are high-level sales executives and people like himself. Making money is an important part of his program.
[35:41] Mark has 81 guys in his program, and he texts each of them individually every day. He helps to pivot their mindset.
[36:57] He doesn't promote complete abstinence.
[37:16] At some point, the amount of people is going to outgrow his methods for accountability. He already has a plan in place to solve that issue.
[37:29] His plan works because his clients are connected to him 24/7.
[38:23] They have online group discussions on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
[38:57] He wants to be a rival for AA.
[40:23] Mark's plan is specifically for men. They go through his funnel and have to make 12 micro commitments before joining.
[41:26] He is located in Wisconsin.
[42:28] One of his approaches is that alcohol isn't the problem, it's the solution. The problem is really what is fueling the addiction.
[43:31] According to Mark, drinking alcohol is a choice that you make.
[44:51] Alcohol makes it easy not to think about stuff.
[45:17] Mark works with his clients for 45 days. There is a six-week course. The first thing is mindset. Then they assess where they are. The third thing they work on his confidence. The fourth thing is balancing your life with new ideas.
[46:19] Mark doesn't believe in balance. he believes in abundance.
[46:29] In week 5, they go through all of the obstacles that they are facing. Week 6 is all about discipline.
[46:52] If you've successfully completed the 45 days, then you just stay in the chat group. If you need more help, you become part of the 6-month comeback alliance.
[47:17] This consists of coaches with meditation, spirituality, and fitness, etc.
[48:29] Then he implements the Comeback seven which is faith, finances, family, fitness, future, freedom, and foundation.
[55:07] The great thing about I Am A Comeback is that it's designed for men who are at a certain place in their life where they need to be surrounded by similar people.
[01:01:02] When people come to the Rock Treatment Center they know they're coming to a family environment where people really do want to help them.

Links and Resources:

51 - I am going into a Sober Living Home: When do I graduate? When should I move out on my own? Jan 24, 2019

Show notes

Rene and Nick are here today to talk with Tom about sober living. We are going to talk about what it consists of. What to watch for. What to expect. When is the right time to leave? We are even going to talk about how do you even know if you've left successfully.

Nick and Rene are very successful at running sober living facilities. They share their expertise and help us to understand what the process is like. A sober house is a house where you remain sober. Find out about the clinical component and the other aspects in this episode.

Show Notes

[02:59] A sober living house consists of addicts and alcoholics.
[03:19] Sometimes they are associated with an insurance based group therapy or an IOP.
[03:40] They're all kinds of rules including remaining sober and drug test and breathalyzers.
[04:04] You typically work some type of program like AA or NA.
[04:19] You go to meetings, and you have a sponsor and work the 12 steps.
[05:33] Rene believes that being in a sober environment with other people who have the same goal as you is key to sustaining sobriety.
[06:07] Some homes don't own the clinical aspect of it. This may not be the most efficient way to get sober.
[06:23] Rene believes that clinical and housing should be all in one.
[07:02] People are often on their best behavior in groups. It can be different at home.
[08:10] Not having housing and clinical tied together can lead to a breakdown in communication.
[08:51] Housing that's not tied to a clinical component is better for people who've already completed their first treatment program.
[10:26] Red flags to look out for in sober living.
[11:03] A sober living house should be ran as if the client is still in treatment. They should require a certain amount of sober time and not allow couples.
[12:12] If a sober living house lets someone back in three days after they relapse it looks like a revolving door.
[13:01] Not getting drug tested is also a red flag.
[15:29] FARR certification goes through everything. These places tend to do what they are supposed to do.
[16:29] These are things to look out for whether you are interested in sober living for yourself or if you are a parent or loved one of someone going to sober living.
[17:48] Working and paying the rent is a very important piece of recovery. People need to look for a job, so they can pay rent. Jobs also fill time.
[19:18] Getting a job is about learning how to grow up and be an adult. Once you get a job, then you can look at what you might want to do for a career or school.
[25:11] What can you expect when moving into sober living?
[25:30] The biggest challenge is having to follow the rules. The structure is set up for success. You need to follow the rules, although it can be hard.
[29:04] There is a correlation between organizing your stuff and staying sober.
[32:07] Not doing your chores doesn't mean you won't stay sober but it does mean you have a problem with authority. Listening and doing things you don't want to do can help you stay sober.
[34:50] People are going to eat your food and upset you.
[35:17] There's bound to be conflict, but if there wasn't any conflict no one would grow.
[36:18] Sober living isn't comfortable. Real life is filled with challenges also.
[37:00] The amount of time it takes to graduate from sober living is different for everyone. Nick thinks 9 months is a good amount of time. If it takes a year to live sober and clean, it is worth it.
[38:24] Your first year of sobriety should probably be under some form of sober living.
[40:09] Even though sober living takes time, it goes by really quickly.
[41:00] Do your research before you go into a sober living facility.
[41:01] Take suggestions and don't ask questions

Links and Resources:

50 - What are sacrifices that I would need to make to get sober? Jan 17, 2019

Show notes

Our guest today, is Devon. He has a heck of a story and is willing to share some of the sacrifices he had to make in order to get sober. Getting sober can be challenging. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. There are sacrifices that have to be made. Some of them aren't too bad, but some of them are so difficult not everyone can make them. Devon has done what it takes to become sober, and he shares that with us here today.

Show Notes

[02:56] Devon has 80 Days of clean time.
[03:28] Devon has gotten clean in the past, but the longest it lasted was 110 days.
[03:25] After 45 days of treatment in Florida, he went home and worked the program for about a month, he didn't work the program in the last month and that's when problems happened.
[04:02] His biggest accomplishment so far is graduating from high school early and getting an opportunity to go to any Big Ten college he wanted to.
[06:14] At age 11, he started taking Vyvanse prescribed by his doctor.
[06:58] Vyvanse is a stimulant similar to Adderall.
[08:02] He switched from Vyvanse and Adderall over to marijuana.
[09:29] After High School, he experimented with other things from Xanax to alcohol.
[10:32] The first time he tried rehab he didn't put in the work. He just thought of it as sort of a vacation.
[14:26] Going home after getting sober can be extremely uncomfortable. We can't be in the same atmosphere we used to be in.
[16:19] Devon missed the birth of his child while he was in rehab. He also had to give up his old lifestyle. He also doesn't have family in Florida.
[17:46] Devon had to give up certain jobs that he had back home, because they would be a bad influence towards his sobriety.
[18:38] He even created a whole new social media profile, so he could keep up with people in Florida and not be influenced by his old friends.
[19:08] For him, the big sacrifices are giving up comfort and familiarity to embrace a new healthier lifestyle.
[20:51] He talks to his family daily over FaceTime. He gets to see his mom and his daughter and his sister.
[23:23] It would be selfish for him to have his girlfriend move down to Florida when all of her family and support group is back home.
[24:49] People are often afraid to go to treatment and leave their children behind, but if you look at the path of destruction they have been on stepping away is the best thing.
[26:37] After having recovered, Ben has the opportunity to be the best dad he can possibly be.
[28:29] This is also an extreme life change for Devon's girlfriend. To be a good dad, Devon can't bypass this process.
[31:04] It can take yours from going from a liability to an asset in a family. It takes time for people to recognize that. When the tables turn and your family reaches out to you for help it feels good.
[31:51] Some accomplishments that Devon wants to achieve is he wants to hit 90 days and then go for that all-important year. He also wants to finish the 12 steps. He also plans to go back to college.
[32:20] He wants to major in architecture or auto body paint.
[32:47] Devon really wants to be the best father I can be for my child. Devon wants to be an asset for my family. He wants to own his own home, get a car, and set himself up for retirement.
[35:14] What you are doing now is directly going to affect what happens in the future.
[36:44] For Ben, getting sober was the hardest thing he ever did in his life.
[37:33] The challenge of alcoholism and addiction is underestimated by many people.
[39:20] Final thoughts are to stay sober and do the right thing.

49 - Sponsorship in Alcoholics Anonymous: What to Look for and What to Stay Away From Jan 10, 2019

Show notes

We are going to discuss what exactly you should look for when getting a sponsor in this episode. We will also talk about what to watch out for. There are people out there who in my opinion have no business being a sponsor. By the end of this episode, you should be able to identify the rules of a sponsor, their primary purpose, and what it looks like if they overstep their boundaries. Tom is joined by Benjamin B. and Billy Badass. We are coming to you from South Florida the recovery capital of the United States. People come here to get clean and sober every day of the week. There is a very fluent AA and NA community. Wherever people are in AA and NA, you have to have sponsors. If you are looking for a sponsor, this episode should help you discern if you've found the right person.

[bctt tweet=""Anyone who has ever been addicted or who has dealt with addiction knows that there's a breaking point where they don't want to deal with it anymore." -Mark Bell" username="realrecoverytlk"]

Show Notes

[04:40] The job of a sponsor should be providing inspiration.
[05:00] It's a sponsor job to share their experience. They need to take the clear precise directions that come from the big book.
[06:25] They need to stick to the steps and share their experience.
[07:52] A sponsor can give another viewpoint and help look at things from a different angle.
[09:49] Sponsorship and having someone to guide you and show you the message is absolutely vital.
[10:41] It's a sponsor's responsibility to share that their opinions are opinions and if they give advice that is not part of the 12-step program be clear that it is not part of the program. It is just something that they've found helpful.
[13:20] The sponsors job is to take the sponsee through the 12 steps.
[14:33] Sponsors aren't there to tell you what to do. They can give suggestions.
[15:36] A sponsor starts out as an instructor who teaches people a method that already exists. They then end up as a teacher who shows people how to think on their own.
[17:22] The 12th step is sponsoring someone. That is where the magic happens if you want to see growth in somebody.
[18:42] A sponsor isn't in the results business, they are in the business of just showing up.
[22:33] If all you do is plant a seed it's good. Don't withhold the truth or have people call you for 30 days before helping them.
[24:52] Be willing to help people.
[25:52] A sponsor doesn't have to be clean and sober for a year before sponsoring someone.
[28:58] The steps are laid out in the textbook. Go through it together.
[29:34] A sponsorship is a promise.
[35:15] You get a sponsor and do the step work, so you can find out about yourself and the disease.
[36:23] Having a sponsor helps with the treatment side and the accountability. Treatment and 12 step work are two different things.
[37:15] Nobody should be forced to go to an AA meeting. Being in treatment and having the willingness to do whatever it takes goes along with attending AA.
[38:43] You have to find meetings and fellowships that you like. Don't let any certain individuals make you condemn AA as a whole.
[39:23] Some people don't buy into AA and then other people are way over the top.
[40:26] Doctors should be utilized. Most sponsors aren't doctors or therapists.
[41:08] Ben believes that the 12-step programs are the best way to get sober. He also believes that opinions can kill alcoholics. He believes that sponsors should not overstep their boundaries.
[42:14] 100% of Ben's sponsees who have done all 11 steps and then became sponsors and continue to do the work stay sober.
[44:12] To find a good sponsor take suggestions from other people.
[44:47] Put yourself out there You have to be okay with getting uncomfortable.

[bctt tweet=""Anyone can get addicted to anything at any moment. We should always be on the lookout because too much of any one thing isn't great." -Mark Bell" username="realrecoverytlk"]

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48 - Mark Smelly Bell: Founder and CEO of Super Training Gym and The Slingshot: Using fitness and nutrition to help with your addiction Jan 03, 2019

Show notes

I am in West Sacramento, CA with Mark Bell of Super Training Gym. Mark is a powerlifter and entrepreneur who has had his own experiences with addiction. In this episode, Mark shares his early exposure to addiction and talks about how everybody needs something to hold onto while overcoming addiction.

Mark shares all kinds of knowledge like how exercise and nutrition can make everything better and the importance of looking into why you have certain behaviors. Mark is a husband, father, gym owner, powerlifter, inventor, podcaster, and inspiring guy. This podcast is packed with knowledge and inspiration that will help anyone start to look at addiction in a different light and make positive changes towards their life.

Show Notes

[01:34] I am with Mark Bell of the Super Training Gym in West Sacramento, CA.
[01:55] Training here has been a huge deal for me. I have been following Mark for 5 or 6 years. I wanted to get into powerlifting.
[03:28] When people get clean and sober they want to change everything. I tell them to take it slow. The men always want to get jacked.
[04:09] Mark's first experience with addiction. There was a lot in his family and he recognized it at a very young age.
[04:56] Every year they dreaded going to Marks Mom's side of the family's house, but then they enjoyed going to his Dad's side of the family's house.
[06:35] As a kid, Mark was always slightly uneasy when he went to his mom's family's house.
[06:57] A lot of his mom's family struggled with addiction.
[11:44] There's always a possibility that your child could end up being addicted to something.
[12:48] Addicted people are no longer really in control.
[14:22] If you are struggling with drugs and alcohol try to find one thing that you can hold on to like lifting weights or something.
[16:21] When people give up drugs and alcohol it's like losing their best friend.
[19:38] Sometimes Mark likes to get away from weight lifting and focus on his health.
[21:33] A lot of great things happen when you're forced to do something. A strong why will help you figure out how.
[25:08] Hold on to something and tell yourself that you have the discipline to do something until it is finished.
[28:18] Why would you continue to do something that's harming other people in your life that you care for?
[29:47] When you are addicted to something that suffocates you and consumes your life in your time.
[36:48] People need to distinguish what being sober means to them. It's your own internal definition of what being sober means. Kratom could be a new addiction, it depends on why people use it.
[42:34] Nutrition and exercise can be helpful towards any problem that you have.
[44:40] What you put in your mouth is going to directly affect how you feel.
[47:14] People in active addiction can't take ownership of anything and everything is someone else's fault.
[49:04] Constant movement promotes constant movement. Do more be more.
[50:11] Move a muscle change a thought. If you lay around on the couch all day that's exactly what you're going to get.
[51:16] A 10-minute walk is a great life lesson because you can do 10 minutes of anything.
[52:23] Look into why you're not doing the things that you should be doing. If you just do the things you're supposed to do, even if you don't want to do them, you will be so much further ahead of everyone else.
[55:04] Coming clean with pornography addiction is very difficult. Even more difficult than coming clean with alcohol or drug use.
[55:34] You have to be careful about what you put in your brain.
[57:16] Mark usually does his personal development stuff from 4 to 6 a.m. This includes drinking some water maybe going outside going for a walk or listening to a podcast.
[59:10] He plans his days in advance, so he can get done what he wants to get done.
[59:43] He then cooks for his kids, goes to some meetings, gets to work out, and create his podcast.
[01:02:04] Mark tries to get people excited about fitness even though it's a long painful process.
[01:02:50] Mark can take wisdom that he learned from lifting and apply it to other areas of life.
[01:03:35] Gain knowledge on the things you love to do and have those be part of your life.
[01:04:36] Everyone possesses the ability to learn, gain more knowledge, and be stronger. Our abilities are endless once we open up our minds.
[01:05:20] The more you can learn about yourself the more you can help other people.
[01:05:57] If you are struggling right now reach out and ask for help.
[01:06:46] If you recognize that someone has an addiction problem, take them out to lunch and see what's going on.

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