Real Recovery Talk

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186 - Cody W - His successes, finance and all things money and how it can impact our sobriety Aug 26, 2021

Show notes

"You have choices in what you do with your time, and that's up to the individual." -Cody

Today, Ben and I are chatting with Cody, who was very successful in life, and then addiction took it all away. Listen in to find out how he is rebuilding his life as a sober member of society and how drugs and alcohol can create alternative negative behaviors that aren't a part of who you really are.

Growing Up with Learning Disabilities

Cody had multiple learning disabilities in grade school growing up. Because of his learning disabilities and not getting support in the school system, Cody couldn't make good grades. He wanted to play sports but could not get on a team because of his low marks in school. He quickly learned that smoking pot was a solution to lessen his school anxiety and found that it helped him in school.

Using Drugs in High School

When he entered high school, Cody continued to use drugs. In addition, he also decided to make an income selling drugs. At one point, he was making a better income than his mom during his high school years.

Going to Prison for Drugs

Cody ended up in prison for violence, acting under the influence of drugs and alcohol from the age of 17 to 21. While in prison, another inmate introduced him to AA meetings. Even though he was in prison, Cody was able to easily access drugs and alcohol through the microeconomy of the prison.

Success and Addiction

With his first success at age 21 creating an app, he was bringing in good money. However, since he was an addict, Cody says, "being an addict gave me no respect for the scenario, and I needed drugs and alcohol as the highlight of the situation. Drugs and alcohol always came first in my life."

Check out our website where you can download any episode along with helpful information for those in recovery and the families of those in recovery.

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Show Notes:

[03:00] Cody talks about his drug and alcohol use starting at an early age.

[04:16] Ramping up from using drugs to distributing drugs.

[07:32] Attending his first AA meeting in prison at the age of 19.

[12:34] Differences between jail and prison.

[17:37] Why drugs and alcohol make you violent.

[21:58] How addiction can take down the most successful people.

[30:01] Philanthropy in addiction and recovery.

[36:45] Reflecting on his previous decade of life and figuring out what he needs to do to make amends.

[44:11] Negotiating and figuring out how to get money when you're an addict.

[47:34] Building blocks needed for an addict to recover their life.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

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185 - Kevin W- Shares about anxiety, cutting treatment short and having a psychic change Aug 19, 2021

Show notes

"One day I broke into tears and told my dad I can't stop drinking and I needed help." -Kevin

Today, Ben and I are chatting with Kevin, who is an alumnus of Rock Recovery Center. Listen in and find out how Kevin could move past his anxiety, which was the cause of his alcoholism, and move into a life of sobriety. Learn how Kevin is making amends with those he hurt while he was alcoholic, and how he is giving back by supporting other members who are recovering.

Dealing with Severe Anxiety

Although Kevin never was an alcoholic growing up, he discovered that he suffered from severe anxiety and noticed that when he had alcohol, he wouldn't have panic attacks or other anxiety fallout. In addition, he would also experience anxiety when he came down off of the alcohol he drank, causing his condition to worsen and Kevin to drink more often.

Drinking Alcohol to Reduce Panic Attacks

At the age of 31, Kevin worked at a local high school when he had a severe panic attack that lasted a week. His doctor put him on an SSRI, which helped, and he could go back to work.

A year later, he was drinking daily and wasn't able to work at all. Working for his father, Kevin had to tell him he was an alcoholic and needed help. Not knowing about detox facilities, Kevin went to his local hospital, which admitted him for a high heart rate for several days from his anxiety. Two months later, he was back in the hospital from heavy drinking and using cocaine.

Outpatient Treatment

He attended an intensive outpatient treatment but did not identify as an alcoholic. Although the center recommended that Kevin take an AA program, he refused to go to meetings.

After trying three centers, including a PHP center, he was only clean for three days until he went back to drinking. Kevin finally found freedom from his addiction at Rock Recovery Center in 2021.

Check out our website where you can download any episode along with helpful information for those in recovery and the families of those in recovery.

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Show Notes:

[04:36] Kevin introduces himself and gives his backstory.

[11:42] Anxiety as an underlying issue to alcoholism.

[15:48] Drinking intermittently to calm a week-long panic attack.

[20:40] Progression from alcohol to cocaine and other dry goods drugs.

[23:05] How Kevin started drinking and how his alcoholism progressed with his anxiety.

[29:05] Going through the levels of care to get to recovery.

[32:29] Back into drinking when living at home with his parents post-recovery.

[33:30] Red flags and issues that Kevin had when he came to Rock Recovery Center.

[41:11] Being of service to others by driving them to meetings.

[43:01] Coming up on one year of sobriety!

[48:22] How Kevin has turned around his life since coming to Rock Recovery Center.

Episode Links and Resources

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Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

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184 - Darell shares why he turned to alcohol to deal with night terrors and PTSD - His treatment experiences and the path moving forward Jul 08, 2021

Show notes

"At Rock I'm getting to talk to people and come to an understanding of what each of the twelve steps means." -Darell

Today, Ben and I are chatting with Darell, who served 13 years in the United States Air Force as an EOD. We talk about his challenges post-service in the military and his progression of alcoholism through childhood, the military, and how he found solutions to his addiction when he returned to civilian life.

Darell's History with Alcohol

Growing up in New York, Darell can't remember when alcohol wasn't in his home. His first memory of his grandfather around the age of three was giving him tobacco to chew. So Darell spits it out, and his grandfather gave him a beer to wash it down.

Growing up on a farm, he always had early morning farm chores with his siblings. His older sister would drink beer with his dad after chores in the morning. In addition to the morning alcohol at age five, he also remembers large parties at his farm where his parents would truck in kegs of liquor.

Addicted to Alcohol as a Teen

At 14, Darell was an addict, inviting friends over for drinking parties. "Once I started my goal was to get blackout drunk." He refused to stop drinking, and as his disease progressed through his teen years, he came to a point where he would drink an entire bottle in one night.

Joining the Air Force as an Alcoholic

Darell says, "I wanted to get away from where I was because everyone was on their second or third DUI." He realized that this was where he was headed if he didn't change his environment. Since many of his family members had positive experiences in the military, Darell thought this would be an excellent way to sober up and reclaim his life.

"For me it was a no-brainer just do what you're told and you'll get through this," he says of his first days in the military. His job was to dispose of explosives and other weapons in his unit. He spent three tours abroad, disarming bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Listen in and find out how Darell was able to get alcohol while on tour, why being in the military didn't stop him from drinking, and why he decided to quit drinking.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[01:40] Growing up with alcohol on a farm in New York.

[04:30] Starting his alcohol addiction at age 12.

[10:00] Addiction norms depending on your culture and location.

[15:26] Ben's inability to stop drinking while addicted.

[18:35] How different people get into alcoholism.

[20:11] Why Darell decided to join the Air Force.

[25:57] His job and the responsibilities that came along with ammunition disposal.

[27:52] How Darell was able to acquire alcohol while on tour in Afghanistan.

[33:37] His exit from the military and circumstances leading to his medical discharge.

[37:09] The diagnosis of PTSD and how that led him to medical treatment.

[45:01] Transitioning from military to civilian life.

[49:00] Changes that happened when he exited the military.

[53:30] What's different for Darell now that he has his second round of sobriety.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

183 - JP Burton - Gaining control of his life through sobriety Jun 24, 2021

Show notes

"I've built routines here at Rock Recovery Center that I still have today." -JP

Today, Ben and I are chatting with JP Burton, an alumnus of Rock Recovery Center. We speak about essential life skill development that accompanies the treatment process and the road to recovery. Listen to our conversation about prayer, meditation, and positive lifestyle changes that have stayed with JP through his treatment and beyond.

JP's History and What Led Him to Drug Use

Before drugs, JP enjoyed a life full of family, a home, and a comfortable lifestyle. Through his addiction, he lost his home, his relationship with his children and wrecked or sold his vehicles. By the time he was admitted into treatment in November of 2019, JP was homeless, and the only item he owned was the clothing on his back.

Putting Addiction First

JP acknowledges that he didn't lose his family, homes, and cars. He readily admits that he had a choice and gave away all that he had. "No one was holding a gun to my head, I just gave it all away." When he first went to treatment, he was healing from a compound fracture to his leg and started walking in detox. "You've never seen someone so excited about treatment." However, when he finally was able to get drugs out of his body, he realized he needed to change his mindset if he could survive and thrive after addiction.

It's not a Drug Problem, It's a Personality Problem

Ben says that his mentor told him that he didn't have a drug problem; he had a personality problem. After years and years of repeated patterns and behavior, learning to become sober long-term equates to creating changes in thinking. You can put down the alcohol and drugs, but remember that this takes time to find and replace negative habits with positive habits.

Building New Routines for His New Life

JP has never missed a day of routine since he came to Rock Recovery Center. He wakes up at 5 am, prays, and reads. Then, he's off to the gym to work out. Establishing this routine and making an effort to meet others who are also in recovery has helped him rebuild his life step-by-step and give him the ability to make his world better.

Listen in and find out why community is a big part of a successful recovery, why helping others with their sobriety brings joy to JP, and why JP believes that routine is vital for successful sobriety.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[03:34] Why JD decided to put drugs first and lose everything.

[04:33] Playing the victim role when we lose material goods to drugs.

[07:38] When alcohol or drugs take over your life, you start to lose the ability to choose.

[10:24] The realization of what life is like without drugs and alcohol.

[14:12] How JP's mindset changed once he was at Rock Recovery Center.

[16:10] Building new routines for a more successful life.

[21:18] Buying into the process of routine and becoming a member of the community.

[26:12] Why JP wants to help as many people become sober as possible.

[30:03] JP's routine and why it keeps him moving forward in his sobriety.

[36:00] What to look for if you're searching for a good recovery center for your loved one.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

182 - Tommy L - How one Corona took him down a deep dark path Jun 17, 2021

Show notes

"I've had family members that have died from addiction, but I never thought that I would have an addiction." -Tommy

Today, Ben and I are chatting with Tommy, who became an addict after taking narcotic drugs for pain relief after a motorcycle accident. Since he has addiction in his family, Tommy wasn't a stranger to the effects of drugs and alcohol on a person and their loved ones.

Why Tommy Didn't Think Addiction was in his Future

"I never saw myself as that person that has a need for anything other than myself," Tommy explains. Looking back, Tommy sees behaviors and patterns that led him down the path to addiction. He would go to parties and drink to the point of losing time, hurting himself or others, and not remembering events that happened while he was drinking.

Prescription Pain Medications as Gateway Drugs

Tommy quickly found that he liked the feeling prescription painkillers afforded him as he felt like he could get up and do anything. At first, he would run out of his prescription early, which quickly escalated to increasing his dose, then the doctor hopping to get more drugs legally. When one of his doctors wouldn't write him refills for pain medication, he turned to buy heroin and oxycontin on the streets. "Then I was so tired from these drugs that I started cocaine and crack." Within five years of starting his addiction to prescription pain medication, Tommy was out on the street purchasing only illegal drugs.

The First Round of Addiction Treatment

In 2019, his family gave him the option of getting treatment or leaving their home, so Tommy decided to go to his first treatment facility. "I was scared and didn't know what to think. I didn't fully believe in it and I didn't want to do it." At this time, he didn't acknowledge that he was having an issue with drugs and alcohol and didn't believe that he needed help to get past his addiction. Realizing that he needed help with getting sober, Tommy was motivated to get back on track during his second treatment at Rock Recovery Center.

Listen in and find out why Tommy changed his viewpoint about getting help for his addiction, why having a drink will lead addicts back to treatment in a short time, and why Tommy was scared that he wouldn't be happy as a recovered addict.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[03:33] Decompression surgery to his skull led to more health problems after his motorcycle accident.

[04:08] What treatment was like the first time in recovery for Tommy.

[05:37] How his prescription for pain medication led to illegal drug use.

[07:53] Tommy reflects back on his time at the first recovery facility.

[13:08] Getting back to life requires a lifestyle change after addiction.

[18:35] Tommy's second time in recovery at Rock Recovery Center.

[23:56] The danger of hanging out with old friends who drink and do drugs when you're an addict.

[29:48] Questioning if he is going to be happy when he was in recovery.

[34:11] The importance of surrounding yourself with positive people after addiction.

[39:08] Life changes that happened to Tommy as he worked through the recovery program.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

181 - Noah didn't get straight A's in treatment, but he is thriving! Jun 03, 2021

Show notes

"My mom was my biggest enabler and as soon as she took her foot off the gas pedal my life came crumbling down around me. That's where the biggest change and growth came from." -Noah

Today, Ben and I are chatting with Noah, who was 20 when he received his first DUI. His parents kicked him out of the house after this event. Forced to attend AA, his grandmother took him to his meetings. Not understanding the program or the benefits of completing the 12 Step Program, Noah wasn't an engaged participant in the program when he first started his road to recovery.

Events that Led to Noah Receiving His First DUI

"Me and my mom would get into it over anything and everything," explains Noah. He would fight with her about little details and would refuse to help out around the house. Noah liked his work pattern: go out to drink, come home, and repeat this daily pattern. Although his mom was encouraging Noah to seek help, he didn't believe he had a problem. "I was living life the way I thought it should be lived." He didn't see his alcoholism because he found that many of his friends lived the same type of lifestyle, so Noah normalized his way of life through others.

His Life Post-DUI

Losing the ability to be independent and drive himself to where he wanted to go, Noah soon realized the humiliation that accompanied losing his privilege to drive. "I had all this freedom to do what I wanted and then suddenly it was stripped away." Sitting at his parent's house, his mom caught him drinking. She sent him to a nearby detox center to clean up his act.

Relapse Patterns and His Struggle to Become Sober

Not feeling like he belonged in treatment, Noah wanted to fast track to the next step so he could get home and live the way he wanted to live. Putting on a show and not being his genuine self, Noah refused to dive into what he needed to do to become a sober member of society.

After going through his first detox treatment in his hometown, Noah ended up back drinking alone in his room. His mom sent him back to detox again.

Listen in and find out why the crowd at the detox center affected Noah's ability to get clean, what happened when his mom wouldn't let him live at home, and why Noah was kicked out of recovery.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[03:33] Noah's first DUI, which led him down a negative spiral of life events.

[04:20] What led Noah's parents to kick Noah out of their home.

[05:53] His life after getting kicked out of his parent's house post first DUI.

[10:34] Noah struggles through multiple attempts at recovery.

[14:42] What happened after Noah left his first detox treatment in Illinois.

[17:21] His mom reaches her breaking point and doesn't allow Noah to live with the family again.

[21:01] Ben explains recovery capital and the reason for living after addiction.

[22:12] Rehab romance and why it didn't end well for Noah.

[26:11] Noah was asked to leave on administrative discharge because he wasn't progressing through the addiction program.

[28:59] Ben tells mom to stop paying for all of Noah's mistakes.

[31:37] Noah regresses back to drinking after this fourth time in recovery.

[34:13] The importance of pulling the plug and not enabling your addict.

[41:49] Why a support group is needed to hold each other accountable.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

180 - The Importance of Staying Connected and How Giving Back has Kept Him Sober with Eric Sheets May 27, 2021

Show notes

"Alcoholics Anonymous didn't just save my life, it taught me how to live a life worthy of having been spared and changed me from the inside out." -Eric Sheets

Today, Ben and I are chatting to Eric Sheets, who is sharing his story of recovery and how he has taken his experience to give back and help other addicts become sober again.

Eric's Background with Drugs and Alcohol

Eric says he came to the 12 Step Program a "broken man" and admits that this is the first time he has been honest with himself. "I could see that fear has governed my life as long as I can remember."

He did have a stretch of sobriety between 2003 and 2010 when his wife fell ill with a rare lung disease and was terminally ill. "In that time I found God and my understanding of him" because, for the first time in his life, he understood his purpose. Although he realized that God put his wife into his life, he still didn't believe that he was an addict and didn't understand what this lifestyle entails.

The Second Phase of Drinking for Eric

After his wife passed away, Eric didn't drink for several weeks until he was invited to a dinner party where a woman gave him a glass of wine after convincing Eric that he wasn't an alcoholic. He remembers that moment like it was yesterday and picked up his addiction at the moment he left off.

At the moment he realized he couldn't move on anymore, he walked into a hospital and told the emergency staff he was going to commit suicide; and he was baker-acted and introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous.

Living a Life of Purpose

"Living a life of purpose makes me happy," Eric comments. He found that when he has a purpose, he can live sober and help others live sober. "Living in communion with my creator is how I found my purpose and what greater purpose can there be?"

Listen in and find out how Eric came to find his purpose, what happened when he stopped being of service, how fear and selfishness crept into his life, and how he rebuilt his relationship with his son.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[05:01] History and background on Eric's early history.

[10:58] The days and weeks following his wife's death.

[12:45] Picking up his first glass of wine after being sober for seven years.

[14:54] Eric's rapid progression through alcoholism.

[17:05] When Eric started working the 12 steps, he started to care about other people.

[18:56] How Eric found purpose in his life and how his purpose motivated him to stay sober.

[20:53] The importance of addressing the little issues that trip up addicts.

[23:30] How Eric patched his relationship with his son.

[34:11] Eric found his new wife after his addiction.

[40:23] Putting a "why" between his alcohol and his addiction.

[43:34] The importance of having faith when you're a recovering addict.

[53:13] His spiritual experience when going through the fifth step.

Episode Links and Resources

Find out more about Al-Anon and how this resource can support your family

Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com

Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

179 - Fatih Penda - His journey intro recovery and how his upbringing could have held him back May 20, 2021

Show notes

"I'm able to get high on life with sobriety." -Faith Penda

Today, Ben and I are chatting to Fatih Penda, a long-term addict who has recovered and is now leading a drug and alcohol-free life. Leading to building a recovery center, Fatih is now leading other adults into recovery and positive life.

Fatih's Background with Drugs and Alcohol

Born in Salem, Massechuessets with a Muslim upbringing, Fatih always felt different than everyone else. Although his uncle did drink, he isn't sure where his addiction comes from. "Throughout high school I started taking drinking to the next level, then using and abusing drugs and taking that to the next level," where he went back and forth between drugs and alcohol.

Spending his summers overseas in Turkey, Fatih understood and spoke two languages fluently, going to school in Turkey and the US. "It was always hard to adjust when I came back to school after the summer." In his eighth grade year, he found out he was going to start high school in Turkey. With no drinking age, he was able to smoke and drink whenever he wanted to.

Picking Up his First Drink and Getting into Addiction

He would experiment with different drugs and return to the United States for his freshman year of college. Fatih found himself treating life as an adult, and it was hard to get back in with his jock friends and the circle of athletes he previously hung out with. Fatih's friend gave him acid, and he started tripping in classes, and his drug use escalated from there. Moving onto cocaine and other drugs, including prescription drugs, Fatih's addiction spiraled out of control.

Fatih's First Experience with Addiction Treatment

The Muslim culture doesn't understand addiction and the concept that addicts can't just stop their addiction. His parents sent him back to Turkey, in an attempt to get him away from the environment that was supporting his addiction. However, Fatih found a way to get prescription drugs cheap and was hooked on Xanax for weeks, eventually ending up in a mental health facility.

Listen in and find how Fatih received sobriety through the 12 Step Program from AA, action steps you can take to start your journey into sobriety, and how sobriety has changed his viewpoint and perspective on life.

Check out our new website where you can download any episode along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[04:30] Fatih's early years and his upbringing.

[10:00] Returning back to the states for his college education.

[15:00] His first attempt at recovery from his addiction.

[19:02] Going to a Scientology recovery center for his second treatment.

[28:49] Action steps you can take to make your first move into sobriety.

[33:56] Witnessing the journey from addiction to sobriety.

[35:44] Fatih talks about his upcoming heart surgery.

[38:37] What saved Fatih from crashing and burning on drugs and alcohol.

Episode Links and Resources