Real Influence w/ Joey Vaillancourt

Latest Episodes:

127.The 4D Framework: How to Stop Waiting for Your Life to Change Sep 14, 2026

Show notes

What if the life you're trying to create doesn't require you to work harder, stress more, or wait for the next milestone?

Recently, I noticed myself slipping back into an old version of me.

I was stressed. Reactive. Worried. Feeling behind. Feeling like I wasn't enough.

I call that version Primal Joey.

And instead of trying to push through it, I used a framework I learned from one of my mentors called the 4D Framework.

It's a simple five-minute exercise that helps you identify: What you actually want in your future Who you're being right now How that current version of you behaves And who you would become if everything you wanted was already accomplished

I call that future version Powerful Joey.

The important part isn't waiting until you have the money, the business, the house, the relationship, or the success you want.

It's asking: How would I behave if I already knew everything was going to work out?

Then starting to live from that state today.

In this episode, I walk you through the exact exercise and how I've used it to become more relaxed, present, loving, grounded, and intentional instead of constantly operating from stress and fear.

We'll talk about: Why stress can become a signal that you're off track The difference between an experience and the story you're attaching to it How to identify your "Primal" version How to define your future or "Powerful" version Why you shouldn't wait for success before becoming the person you want to be How neuroscience supports the importance of embodying a new state Why your behavior can either reinforce your current reality or create room for something new How I started taking more trips and working less as part of this practice And how to use the 4D Framework as a daily compass

You don't need hours.

You need one sheet of paper, one pen, and about five minutes.

Because the goal isn't to become someone else.

It's to start becoming the version of yourself you already know you want to be.

Helpful Links:

The Great Life Experiment You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all.

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

CHAPTERS

00:00 Feeling Stuck? This Is Your Signal

01:44 Why I Became "Primal Joey" Again

03:26 Where the 4D Framework Started

04:10 The 4D Framework Explained

06:33 Meet Your Powerful Future Self

08:18 Why You Have to Become That Person Now

09:20 How to Start Embodying Your Future Self

12:13 Use Your Future Self as Your Compass

15:31 Consistency Is the Practice

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

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Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

126.What I Want My Kids to Inherit From Me Aug 24, 2026

Show notes

My kids aren't waiting for me to teach them something.

They're already learning.

From how I respond when I'm tired. From how I treat my wife. From whether I look up when they're talking to me. From how I handle conflict. From the things I repeat every single day.

And that realization changed the way I think about being a dad.

In this episode, I share five things I'm intentionally doing in my own family:

Be there. Be present.
Be the leader. Don't let their energy set yours.
Model it, because you're the mirror.
Say what you want, not what you don't want.
Say the same words every single day.

This isn't about being a perfect parent.

It's about becoming more aware of the things we're already handing down.

Because most of us inherited a formula from our own parents. They inherited one too. And most of them were simply doing the best they could with what they had.

Now it's our turn to decide what moves forward.

And what stops with us.

The question I'm leaving you with:

What's one thing you want your kids to carry from you and are you living it or just saying it?

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 What Are Your Kids Learning From You?

01:00 The Words I Say to My Kids Every Day

02:30 Why I Became Intentional About Parenting

04:34 Tip #1: Be There, Be Present

07:29 Tip #2: Be the Leader

12:05 Tip #3: Model It, Because You're the Mirror

16:22 Tip #4: Say What You Want, Not What You Don't

18:47 Tip #5: The Same Words Every Day

21:35 The Belief I Want My Kids to Carry

22:13 What Do You Want Your Kids to Inherit?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

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Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

125.I Read Every Comment on the David Bayer Video | Here's my Take Aug 18, 2026

Show notes

I spent $100,000 on coaching with David Bayer.

When I shared my experience on YouTube, I got 157 comments. Some were supportive. Others questioned how I could possibly spend that much money, called the experience a scam or a cult, and wondered why anyone would pay for something they could learn for free.

So almost ten months later, I went back through the comments.

And what I found was more interesting than the comments themselves.

Nobody gets mad at a $100,000 truck. Nobody gets angry when someone spends $100,000 on an MBA, a kitchen, or a wedding.

But spend that money on your own mind and suddenly the conversation changes.

This episode isn't about convincing you to spend $100,000 on coaching. It's about the beliefs underneath our reactions to money, investment, success, and personal transformation.

I read some of the harshest comments word for word, concede where people were right, share the real story behind how I made the investment, and explain what actually changed for me.

We also get into the difference between free information and commitment, whether the community I joined was really a "cult," the roughly 75% financial return I made from the investment, and the much bigger return that had nothing to do with money.

Because sometimes the most revealing part of an experience isn't what happened.

It's the story we attach to what happened.

And the question I'm leaving you with is simple:

What is something you could afford right now and still won't let yourself buy and whose voice is it when you tell yourself no?

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 The $100K Comment That Started It All

03:06 Why I Spent $100,000 on Coaching

04:10 Nobody Gets Mad at a $100K Truck

05:46 The Truth About My Misleading Title

08:14 What $100K Really Meant to Me

13:07 The Money Beliefs We Inherit

15:09 Free Information vs. Real Commitment

20:10 Did I Join a Cult?

24:47 The Line Nobody Heard

26:04 The 75% Return Nobody Noticed

28:12 The Transformation Beyond Money

31:39 Whose Voice Is It When You Say No?

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

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Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

124.Why Visualization Isn't Working (And The Missing Piece That Changes Everything) Aug 03, 2026

Show notes

Your biggest goal, made into a 5-minute film starring you. Watch how it works: https://joeyvaillancourt.com/future-reel/

For years, I thought I was doing visualization wrong.

I'd close my eyes during guided meditations and see... nothing. While everyone else described vivid images and powerful experiences, I was left wondering if something was wrong with me.

That question stayed with me until it sparked an idea that would eventually become Future Reel.

In this video, I share the personal story behind that breakthrough, why traditional visualization doesn't work for everyone, and how combining cinematic storytelling with coaching can help you build a future your brain can actually connect with.

If you've ever struggled to picture your future, this conversation was made for you.

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters

00:00 Why visualization never worked for me

00:20 Sitting in an Uber changed everything

00:54 "Am I broken?" My biggest frustration

01:26 Why some people visualize differently

02:03 The idea that became Future Reel

02:43 Why I decided to build it anyway

03:20 If visualization has never worked for you

03:54 What Future Reel actually is

04:38 Why seeing your future changes everything

05:38 What happened after I started using it

06:10 Why coaching is part of the process

06:49 Who Future Reel is for

07:10 What happens on the discovery call

07:46 Your next step

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

123.How to Never Experience Failure Again with ONE Shift Jul 27, 2026

Show notes

For two decades I looked back on my life and saw a list of failures, the corporate job I left, the farm that folded, the marriage that ended, the masterminds I demanded refunds from. Black and white, right or wrong. Even the good stuff landed as proof I'd fallen short.

This episode is about the word "failure" and how much of a life changes when you stop using it. I go through my own examples, one at a time and what each was actually training me for, including the belief I carried into every room that quietly guaranteed the outcome. Pain is real; the suffering is the story laid over it. You get to choose the meaning, and you're not behind, no matter what your past looks like.

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Topics covered

The glasses that changed everything and the prescription glasses couldn't fix
Handed-down beliefs: the worldview you inherited without choosing
Naming the inner prescription and testing it instead of obeying it
Why evidence follows focus and how that keeps a belief alive
Ownership vs. blame: not your fault, still your responsibility

Chapters: 00:00 When everything looks like failure 00:33 Welcome to Real Influence 00:58 A quick thing before we start 01:20 The word I stopped using 02:20 Quitting hockey out of fear 03:46 The farm, the marriage, the "failures" 04:20 The masterminds and the refund clause 05:50 The moment I saw it was a choice 06:05 You're not behind — you're on time 08:28 Reframing each story for what it trained 13:33 Living your life as an experiment 15:00 Choosing the meaning from here

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

122.Handed-Down Beliefs: Change the Prescription You Never Chose Jul 20, 2026

Show notes

At fourteen, I couldn't read the chalkboard and figured something was wrong with me. A friend handed me his glasses, the board came into focus, and my grades climbed from barely passing to the honor roll, nothing changed but my eyesight. It took another twenty years to notice I was wearing a second prescription I'd never chosen: the one on my whole worldview.

This episode is about that second lens, the handed-down beliefs about money, trust, control, and worth that get installed before you're old enough to question them. The lens feels like reality, but it isn't permanent; it's testable. I walk through how to name the prescription you're looking through and check whether it's even yours, and why the same argument keeps following you into every new partner, job, and situation until you do.

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Topics covered

The glasses that changed everything and the prescription glasses couldn't fix
Handed-down beliefs: the worldview you inherited without choosing
Naming the inner prescription and testing it instead of obeying it
Why evidence follows focus and how that keeps a belief alive
Ownership vs. blame: not your fault, still your responsibility

Chapters: 00:00 The blurry chalkboard 00:35 Welcome to Real Influence 00:55 A quick thing before we start 01:35 The kid who thought he wasn't smart 03:00 The day Jeff handed me his glasses 04:00 From 60s to the honor roll 05:15 "I don't think you'll cut it" 06:00 The prescription you can't take off 08:15 Name the lens, then test it 10:30 The belief that keeps repeating 11:35 The handed-down shirt that never fit 13:00 What lens are you looking through

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

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Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

121.A Belief Is a Decision, Not a Fact — Rewriting the Success Formula You Never Chos Jul 13, 2026

Show notes

For twenty years I was sure success had a price, and the price was me. More hours, more strain, more proof that I was serious. Then one conversation asked me what success actually was — and how it made me feel and the answer fell apart in my hands.

This episode is about the moment a belief stops looking like a fact and starts looking like a decision you can revisit. I walk through the Experiment Cycle — Notice → Flip → Run → Read — the loop I used to test the rule I'd never questioned, and what changed over the year after I stopped forcing. The point was never doing less. It was living closer to what's actually true for me instead of a formula I inherited by default.

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters: 00:00 The price I paid for twenty years

00:48 The formula you never chose

01:33 Looking busy vs. being productive

03:41 The Experiment Cycle: Notice → Flip → Run → Read

04:20 A belief is a decision, not a fact

05:50 Writing the new belief and stacking evidence

07:54 Picking the opposite on purpose

10:10 The campaign and the farm: proof it was easy

12:30 What happened when I ran the experiment

14:48 Six trips, an empowered team, double the revenue

17:24 Alignment over escape

19:47 The one belief to question this week

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

120.The Self-Help Addiction Trap: When Personal Development Becomes Avoidance Jul 06, 2026

Show notes

There's a point where personal development stops helping and starts keeping you stuck.

In this episode, Joey opens up about a pattern he's seen in himself over the past year: the urge to find one more coach, one more breakthrough, one more framework, one more answer. On the surface, it looks like growth. But underneath, it can become something else entirely — avoidance.

If you've been stuck in self improvement, overthinking your next move, consuming more than you're creating, or feeling burned out by how much "work" you've already done on yourself, this episode is for you.

You'll learn:

Why self help addiction can feel productive while quietly keeping you stuck
The difference between pain vs suffering — and how we create extra suffering by revisiting old stories
How coaching addiction and constant learning can become procrastination through learning
Why there's a point where you don't need more insight — you need reps
How to tell when you actually need support… and when you just need to take action

Helpful Links:

Take the FREE quiz here: Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz

Chapters: 00:00 The trap of always needing "more" 00:39 When personal development becomes addiction 01:48 Pain vs suffering 02:25 The validation loop behind coaching addiction 03:05 Why I thought I needed another mentor 04:17 The question that stopped me from hiring another coach 05:07 Alignment vs fear 06:06 Choosing a coach whose life you actually want 06:59 The next offer… and the same hesitation 08:53 Breakthroughs, blind spots, and reopening old stories 10:53 Why talking about old problems can keep them alive 12:17 You don't need to fix every area right now 13:22 Taking action vs learning more 14:28 The hamster wheel of self improvement 15:23 What you probably need now is reps

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website)

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE.

About:

119.The Five Regrets of the Dying and What They Can Teach High Performers Today Jun 29, 2026

Show notes

Most people don't wait until the end of life to discover what's important.

They simply wait too long to act on what they've known all along.

Inspired by Bronnie Ware's The Five Regrets of the Dying, this episode explores the hidden pattern behind the most common life regrets and why so many ambitious people unknowingly build lives around expectations instead of intention.

If you've been caught in hustle culture, constantly postponing happiness until the next milestone, this episode offers a different perspective.

Rather than blowing up your life, Joey explains how small shifts in awareness can help you reconnect with what actually matters.

In this episode

• The real meaning behind the five deathbed regrets

• Why high performers are especially vulnerable to burnout

• How societal expectations quietly shape our decisions

• Why authentic living begins with better questions

• Reflection exercises to help you start course correcting today

Chapters

00:00 The Question Successful People Avoid

00:42 The Five Regrets of the Dying

02:06 One Pattern Behind Every Regret

03:14 Why This Book Changed My Life

05:28 The Five Deathbed Regrets

07:38 Whose Life Are You Living?

09:52 The "Later" That Never Comes

11:18 Borrow the Clarity Now

12:15 Course Correct Without Starting Over

13:49 Awareness Is the Beginning

15:02 Final Reflections

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/

https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/

https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/

Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll

Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence

About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

118.My Wife Asked Me One Question at 9PM (It Changed My Whole Life) Jun 22, 2026

Show notes

It's 9 PM.

You told yourself you'd be done hours ago.

But you're still answering messages, checking one more thing, handling one more problem, and convincing yourself that this season is temporary.

For many entrepreneurs and high performers, the issue isn't a lack of discipline. It's not poor time management. It's a subconscious pattern that equates being needed with being valuable.

In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt shares the personal story that changed his relationship with work, family, and success. From hustle culture conditioning to high functioning anxiety and the constant need to stay available, he explores why so many successful people struggle to actually be present in their own lives.

This conversation is about nervous system regulation, awareness, work life balance, and learning how to stop overworking without sacrificing your ambitions.

The goal isn't doing less.

The goal is becoming someone who can fully experience the life they're working so hard to build.

Topics Covered