Ranks FC - A Football Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Ranking Controversial Takes Ahead of Next Season with Harry Brooks Jun 22, 2022

Show notes

It's time to start making some bold predictions ahead of next season, and so we brought in the best man for the job - football coach, agent and Twitter extraordinaire Harry Brooks, making his triumphant third Ranks appearance - to give some thoughts ahead of next season.

We talk about Arsenal's profile of signings, a potential clash of personalities at Erik ten Hag's Manchester United, and Liverpool's replacements for their outgoing players. There's plenty to discuss, and some disagreements all round, but it's a detailed discussion on how some of the most interesting teams in the Premier League are going to fare based on what we know so far!

There's also Things We Love, where Sam discusses the U19 European Championships, and Jack looks at the rumoured new PSG manager Christopher Galtier and how he might fit in at the Parc des Princes. Melon of the Week comes from Canada, and Sam's Gibberish runs the rule over the transport problems he is facing right now.

It's Ranks!

If you love Ranks and want more from us, why not join the Ultras? There's at least two extra episodes a week over on our Patreon, as well as a brilliant community of like-minded people.

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And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?

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Grading the Big-Money Moves Made This Summer So Far Jun 15, 2022

Show notes

So, the transfer window is open, and nobody has hung around wasting any time! We take a look at the five most expensive deals done so far and give them a thorough analysis, before grading each on how we see them before a ball has been kicked for their new teams.

So we talk Brenden Aaronsen to Leeds United, Karim Adeyemi to Borussia Dortmund, Erling Haaland to Manchester City, Darwin Núñez to Liverpool, and Aurélien Tchouaméni to Real Madrid.

There's also Things We Love which has a little bit more on Haaland's medical, some love for Australia's hero Andrew Redmayne and his mad antics, and Andrea Pirlo taking a risk on a job at Fatih Karagümrük in Turkey. There's a Melon of the Week from the Nations League, and Sam takes a Gibberish from his local pub.

It's Ranks!

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Ranking The Biggest Rebuilds In Football This Summer Jun 08, 2022

Show notes

What’s up Rank Squad!

Jack’s away enjoying some well-earned rest, so Dean and Sam tackle this week’s pod as a duo—and it’s a big ‘un!

It’s the long-promised, much-talked-up REBUILDS episode, where we take a look at 5 clubs in dire need of some help and try to come to their assistance.

There’s Benfica, who are facing up to a future without Darwin Núñez—but with Roger Schmidt, pressing mastermind.

There’s Everton, who must now ride of the wings of Frank Lampard and try to improve upon a terrible 2021-22.

There’s Chelsea, who need to buy a new defence, maybe a new midfield and possibly a new forward. How exhausting.

There’s Juventus, who need star power, creativity, an actual midfield and some support for Dušan Vlahović.

And there’s Manchester United, obviously.

All of that, plus a melon to hand out at the end, then Dean takes on the Gibberish ranking and discusses the total mess that is next season’s schedule and rules. It’s Ranks!

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Ranking the MVP of Each League Champion Jun 01, 2022

Show notes

Hello Rank Squad!

The domestic season is pretty much all done in Europe, and we're here to take a look back. Originally this was supposed to be a Ballon d'Or ranking, but Karim Benzema has rendered that a little bit pointless, so we're mixing it up. We talk about the big man, of course, who powered Real Madrid to a La Liga & Champions League double, but also his contemporaries.

From KDB's immense second-half season surge to Kylian Mbappé's remarkable run across this year (and his desire to stay in Paris); to Rafael Leão's personal mission to take Milan to the Scudetto Crown, and Robert Lewandowski's stunning goalscoring season, and where he goes next in his career, we've covered it all.

There's also Things We Love, where Sam talks about early transfer business, Dean discusses Nottingham Forest's return to the Premier League, and Jack talks about Ranks being there as Roma lifted the first ever UEFA Europa Conference League trophy.

There's a discussion of the ugly scenes at Saint-Étienne after they were relegated in Melon of the Week, and Sam's Gibberish is focused on spending a week with Jack and the little ruts that entails. It's Ranks!

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Ranking the Champions League Final May 25, 2022

Show notes

As the last (and biggest) annual game of the European football calendar comes hurtling towards us once again, it's one which we've seen before - a repeat of 2018's final between Liverpool and Real Madrid - and a complete reworking of the 1981 Final, which was held at the Parc de Princes between these two sides - it's funny how history can repeat itself!

It’s time to turn our eyes to Paris and look in great depth at this seasons Champions League final between Los Blancos and the Reds - between the 13 time winners and the 6 time winners of this very competition. Carlo Ancelotti vs. Jurgen Klopp. Karim Benzema vs. Sadio Mané. Vinicius Jr. vs. Mohamed Salah. There's loads going on. We look at the key places the final will be won and lost, by ranking three reasons for both Real and Liverpool fans to be optimistic ahead of kick-off.

Then, there's Things We Love - which is a singular this week, because we're discussing our trip to Lisbon this weekend to watch Porto seal the double in their Taça de Portugal win over Tondela. We were lucky enough to be in attendance, thanks to our partners at New Balance, and we discuss what was a truly unique experience at the game in Jamor.

And as ever, to close things off, there's a Melon of the Week, and a Gibberish Ranking. It's Ranks!

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Ranking the Biggest Disappointments of the Season May 18, 2022

Show notes

Every season has its glorious moments, but for every positive, there's a negative. We like to focus on the good stuff here on Ranks, but ultimately there are ups and downs to every season, and we wanted to take a look at some of the clubs who have been on the rough end of things this time around, and why that might have happened.

From potential title contenders who just haven't stepped up to the mark to teams at the wrong end of the table, and from signings who just haven't cut the mustard to particularly poor attempts at turning the club around - we're here to look at all of them.

There's Things We Love too - which veers from the scenes in Milan's last home game of the Year to Newcastle's brilliant blonde piston pairing in midfield to a preview of the Europa League Final; plus a very obvious Melon of the Week on Merseyside and another Bali Gibberish from Sam. It's Ranks!

To see Jack's full Europa League Preview - bash this link here!

And we'd love you to join us on Patreon, for eight extra Ranks Episodes for less than the price of a pint, per month, click here!

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Ranking Big Transfers to Be Wary Of This Summer May 11, 2022

Show notes

Every transfer season there's deals that don't work out, and whilst some are impossible to predict, there's others where the warning signs are truly there - we look at a few big money deals that we have reservations about for various reasons from injuries to physicality to difficult fits. And, back to do it is the Rank God Sam Tighe, returning from his honeymoon to retake his place back in your headphones on Ranks FC.

Things We Love talks watching football in tricky time zones, Erling Haaland's big move to Manchester City and the story of Bristol Rovers' ridiculous last-day win to seal their promotion; Melon of the Week is given out to a Championship goalkeeper who performed a gaffe straight out of a 90's bloopers reel, and Sam takes charge of the Gibberish again to talk things that baffled him in Bali.

It's Ranks!

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Ranking This Season's Most Exciting Endings May 04, 2022

Show notes

There are just a couple of matches left in most domestic leagues in Europe, meaning that it's now or never for a lot of things. Title races, relegation scraps, promotion tussles - there's absolutely loads left to play for across the continent.

On today's episode we look at the most exciting things left to play for this season - from Man City vs. Liverpool and Inter vs. Milan at the top of the tables, to the survival salvos taking place in the Premier League, Serie A and La Liga; as well as the race to reach Europe in Spain and Italy, where all sorts is still going on in the Europa and Conference League battles, and the fight to reach the top flight in the 2. Bundesliga.

As you might expect, the Things We Love from a rather hoarse Dean and Jack talks about Fulham's dismantling of Luton Town and the celebrations that followed as the Whites won a league title for the first time in over 20 years, and also heads to LA to look at the job that Steve Cherundolo is doing as manager of a resurgent LAFC.

There's also a Melon of the Week from the lower tiers of English football, and the Gibberish Rankings looks at some of the most ridiculous trophies that are handed out across the world. It's Ranks!

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Ranking the Biggest Transfers This Summer Apr 27, 2022

Show notes

What’s happening Rank Squad! It’s getting scarily close to silly season, so it’s time for our first big transfer ranking of the 2022 summer window - our first look at the biggest stories that are going to dominate the back pages in the off-season.

Dean walks us through five of the biggest names that are going to be either moving, or talked about moving, for the entirety of this summer. From a Norwegian target man coming home to his boyhood Premier League club, to a French galactico-in-waiting perhaps finally making the move everyone’s been expecting for years; from the in-demand I̶r̶i̶s̶h̶ English midfielder who’s apparently commanding a 9-figure-fee, to a out-of-contract defender being courted by all of Europe’s elite; and two No.9s having very different seasons who might both be on the move - we cover all the headlines.

Before those headlines though, there’s a quick fire questions section from some of the best we got on Twitter this week discussing transfer lines on Arsenal outgoings and their next No. 9, Newcastle United’s plans for the summer, USMNT footballers on the move, potential targets for Chelsea at CB, Nkunku’s future, Real Madrid’s deadwood moving onwards and quality or quantity for newly promoted teams.

There’s also time for a little Things We Love, where Jack starts us off (of course)by talking about his beloved Real Betis winning their first trophy in 17 years as they won the Copa del Rey on Saturday, and the poetry of a momentous occasion in Verdiblanco. If you want more, here’s the link to an article that he wrote on the subject. Plus, there’s Melon(s) of the Week from Serie A, and a Gibberish Ranking.

It’s Ranks!

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Ranking the Last Four in the Champions League, Europa League & Conference League Apr 20, 2022

Show notes

We've come to the sharp end of the European competitions, and there's everything to play for in the UEFA Champions League, the UEFA Europa League and the UEFA Europa Conference League.

We rank the four contenders left in each: Liverpool, Villarreal, Manchester City and Real Madrid in the UCL; West Ham United, Eintracht Frankfurt, RB Leipzig and Glasgow Rangers in the UEL; and Feyenoord, Olympique Marseille, AS Roma and Leicester City in the UECL.

Dean and Jack work their way through the three competitions, having a go at working out each team's percentage of winning their respective tournaments, and analysing the semi-final matchups as we go.

There's also a Melon of the Week all the way from Brazil, and our Gibberish is about things that Dean is just not capable of doing. It's Ranks!

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