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    Sports

    Raising Elite Competitors

    The GO TO PODCAST for Sports Moms raising confident girl athletes! Elite Competitor Co-Founder Coach Breanne Smedley (AKA Coach Bre) is all about empowering moms with the tools they need to strengthen their athlete daughter’s mental game so she believes in herself as much as you do (and plays like it!). Whether you’re a sports mom with lots of seasons under your belt, just getting started on this sports journey, or somewhere in between… think of this podcast as your go-to guide to helping your daughter navigate the ups and downs of her sports journey. If you feel like you’ve tried everything to build your daughter’s confidence and often don’t know what to say to support her (especially when she’s being super hard on herself), then you’re in the right place. Coach Bre and her guests break it down into actionable strategies that WORK so that you never have to feel stuck not knowing what to say or how to help your athlete daughter again. Through what you learn on the Raising Elite Competitors Podcast, you can ensure that your daughter’s mental game and confidence is her biggest strength… in sports AND life! 

    🚀 FREE Training for sports moms: trainhergame.com
    đź’™ Thanks for being a valued podcast listener! Save $400 on our #1 Mental Training Program for Girl Athletes – The Elite Mental Game: https://elitecompetitor.com/emg

    Advertise

    Copyright: © 2024 Kristina + Breanne, Co

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    Latest Episodes:
    Q&A: When Your Daughter Thinks Her Coach Doesn't Like Her` Sep 06, 2022
    Show notes

    “How do you help your daughter when she feels she has disappointed her coach or her coach doesn't like her because they gave constructive feedback about her game?” — This is a question from a mom who is participating in our training for improving your female athlete's mental game without being pushy or saying the wrong thing.

    This is a common thing that happens to female athletes. In this situation, her daughter is taking this feedback as a personal attack on herself and she's feeling like her coaches are disappointed in her and don't like her anymore. How do we help our daughters who are in this situation?

    I'm going to tell you why this happens, what your daughter needs to do when it happens, and how you can help her.

    What’s Happening:

    As humans, we are all wired for belonging and safety. And so no matter what environment we're in, we want to feel like we belong and that we're safe. This case also occurs in an athlete-coach relationship. Athletes want their coaches to like them at some point, and that's not wrong.

    Every time we are criticized, we all get the impression that someone does not like us. And that’s what’s happened to the female athlete.

    What She Needs to Do:

    Now that we’ve explained what's happening inside your daughter’s mind. What she needs to do is realize that she has to separate what she's doing from who she is.

    What she’s doing points to her sport.

    Who she is different and separate from that sport, or from what she does. Who she is as a person won’t change no matter what her performance is. Regardless of her sport, she still has the same personality, and worth as a person. She would still be equally capable and deserving of love.

    How Can You Help:

    You can help by making sure that you are evaluating her as a person rather than just what she does. And you can do that by shifting the focus of your praise toward who she is as a person. Instead of praising her for winning, you can start praising her for seeing her do her best. Think about what you love about her.

    Highlight her good qualities not on her achievements in sports but rather on the kind of person that she is. Is she generous? Does she love helping people? Is she the kind of person who just brings in joy and energy?

    We all want to feel that we belong. We all want to feel safe.

    Asking for the coach’s validation is also a sign that she may be discreetly seeking validation from you, her parents.

    If this is the case, you can gently remind her of your love for her regardless of her performance. Remind her that there's nothing she could do that would make you more proud than you are right now of her.

    Help her separate her identity and worth from what she does. Help her strengthen her mental game and give her the opportunity to be more confident about herself. In this way she’ll stop seeking validation from other people. She’ll be able to handle constructive criticism and be truly confident in who she is.

    **********

    Helpful Links:

    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Wingin' It Wendy vs Game Changer Gabby...Which Sports Mom Are You? Aug 30, 2022
    Show notes

    There is no manual on how to be a sports mom. Your female athlete may receive extensive coaching, but how many coaches do we as mothers receive to assist our daughters?

    Female athletes go through a lot of phases. The most common situation that they're going to face is having a hard time coming back from mistakes. A lot of athletes beat themselves for those mistakes. They focus on the one mistake and it goes downhill from there. Navigating the obstacles that your daughter faces as an athlete is difficult.

    What kind of mom can navigate through these challenges?

    Today, I'm going to share with you these two types of sports moms and help you figure out where you fit in between the two.

    I'm going to talk about what these two moms do and how they approach these very common issues that their athlete daughters face.

    Which Mom Do You Identify Yourself With?

    What do you do when your daughter is struggling out there with things that every athlete struggles with: pressure, nervousness, making mistakes, feeling like she let the team down, and not knowing how to recover from mistakes?

    If your daughter is going through these things, there is nothing wrong with her.

    However, it is your responsibility as her mother to equip her with the necessary skills to navigate this.

    If you're "Winging it, Wendy," you're just winging it. You'll go to Google. You're simply telling her to be self-assured. You're telling her to unwind. You're telling her that everyone makes mistakes.

    Here's the thing: “Telling is not teaching.”

    Your daughter needs to practice these skills to manage her emotions and achieve her goals. And, fortunately, your daughter has an opportunity right in front of her. If you haven't already, go to trainhergame.com and look at the training where I go more in-depth with this.

    "Winging It Wendy" literally means "winging it." Because she takes a different approach, "Game Changer Gabby" changes the game for her daughter. She is not like other mothers who are winging it. She is very deliberate in her approach to her daughter. She is very deliberate about the opportunities she gives her daughter to improve her own mental game. She is very deliberate in what she says to her daughter. She is deliberate in what she says to herself aloud. And she's very intentional in all of these areas, which changes the game for her daughter as well as their relationship.

    Ask yourself today…

    “Am I winging it and being Wendy?” If yes then, “How can I become more like Gabby?”

    Strengthen her mental game and what you can do to support her, making sure you're saying and doing things that will help her rather than just telling her to be confident.

    **********

    Helpful Links:

    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Ways To Increase Communication With Your Athlete Daughter Aug 23, 2022
    Show notes

    Communication between parents and athletes is important, there’s no denying that. But what if they start to communicate less?

    Some parents conclude that this situation comes with age. As their children get older, they tend to communicate less. That’s true. Another reason why they communicate less is because we’re not asking better questions.

    What can we do when that situation arises?

    Dive in to learn about simple ways to increase your communication with your athlete daughter!

    Giving The Opportunity for Your Daughter to Open Up

    I want to share with you a comment from Nicole, one of our Elite Competitor Program moms, that she shared after working through our Powerful Pep-Talk phase. If you’re not familiar, it is part of our Elite Competitor Program, a mental training program for female athletes, and in that program we train both the athlete and their moms on how to have Powerful Pep Talks.

    Here’s what she said,

    “I love this lesson and the reminder of my role as a parent and to keep it simple. I'm also grateful for more dialogue that's opening up with my daughter, who came to me this weekend saying: you said to let me know if there's something you can do better to support me. And honestly, it would be helpful if you smile more at me. Even when something doesn't go well on the court, it makes me feel positive.”

    This is a result of our mental training program. Learning is power. We teach moms what to say before, during, and after competitions and how to strengthen their mental game, how to work on their own confidence, because we know how it influences their daughters.

    Their daughters also work on themselves through the athlete modules.

    I’m setting it as an example of what happens when moms give their best to learn how to support their daughters in a better way.

    Two Keys to Know What Your Daughter Needs

    By giving the opportunities to train her mental skills, Nicole’s daughter learned to be vocal and specific about what she needs from her mom, and that’s how Nicole opened up this opportunity for her daughter to open up.

    How can you help apply this with your daughter?

    There's two keys here:

    1. Shape the environment. When we talk about shaping the environment, we're talking about your verbal and your nonverbal communication with your daughter. We teach things that we can say to build long term confidence in your daughter and how you show up for her as her role model. So, make sure that you’re investing in opportunities to learn how to shape the environment for your daughter, and not just guessing what to do.
    2. Provide the opportunities. Provide opportunities for her not just outwardly, but also inwardly. Give her the opportunity to understand what she needs from you to get where she wants to be.

    Overall, a simple thing that moms can do to increase communication with their daughter is by opening up the opportunity to ask:

    “What can I do to support you?”

    “What is helpful for me to say and do?”

    Good communication happens when you give opportunities for your daughter to learn how to advocate for themselves and how to develop those mental skills.

    **********

    Helpful Links:

    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Helping Your Athlete Navigate Disappointment Aug 16, 2022
    Show notes

    Whether we like it or not, all athletes are going to face “disappointment”. So, if it is inevitable, how can we help our female athletes navigate through disappointments?

    In the past weeks, we recently talked about disappointments inside our sports mom inner circle, a group for moms of the athletes going through our Elite Competitor Program, and we specifically talked about what to do when your athlete didn’t make it to her dream team.

    How do you show up as a parent in that situation?

    There are powerful parenting analogies that I shared with the moms in that talk, and I wanted to share that with you today. So, if you’re looking for tips on what to say and do when you’re female athlete is facing disappointments, this is for you.

    The Lawnmower Parent

    Some of you have probably heard about the “lawnmower parent” analogy. This analogy stemmed from the “helicopter parent” analogy, which is a parent that’s always checking in and doing things for their kids. It’s an analogy for an overly involved parent.

    The lawnmower parent does almost the same thing, it’s that kind of parent that cuts down any obstacles in their child’s way. Just like a lawnmower, they mow all the things that could be in the way of their child’s path, to make it easier for their child.

    The River Guide Parents

    The “river guide parent” analogy was birthed from our trip to Costa Rica. A couple of months ago, we went on a mom-daughter retreat to Costa Rica with the athletes and their moms. We went for a canyoning adventure in a big jungle rainforest canyon.

    We went through seven waterfalls, and none of us in the group has the professional skills to do it. So, we had our guides to help us. The guides supported us as we went down the waterfalls.

    But here’s the thing — they GUIDED us, they DIDN’T DO it for us.

    It’s a perfect example of how we can show up for our kids when they’re struggling. Just like the river guides, we can be there for them without taking away their chance to experience disappointments. When we allow them to go through it, we are actually developing their confidence and the skills they need to navigate through disappointments on their own.

    The Victim Mindset Trap

    Oftentimes when we try to fix things, we blame other people to make our daughters feel better and that’s a wrong move. Whenever parents do that, they’re actually teaching their daughters NOT to take ownership over what’s going on in their lives. As much as possible, avoid blaming other people.

    Allow her to process, and then after a certain amount of time, we can start to guide her forward.

    Moms who invest in their training to learn how to support their daughters through their athletic journey do better.

    “Children do better when their parents do better.”

    Athletes who have the competitive advantage also have moms who are doing and saying the right things to support them.

    To be a better parent, learn to let her experience disappointment, don’t be like the lawnmower parent who removes all the obstacles in their daughter’s path. Invest in training to be that river guide parent, and support her while allowing her to experience, learn and grow.

    **********

    Helpful Links:

    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Developing Self-Efficacy & Motivation in Sports w/ Exercise Scientist A'Naja Newsome Aug 09, 2022
    Show notes

    We’re going to tackle self-efficacy and motivation in sports with our special guest A’Naja Newsome, Ph.D., CEP, a coach, and an educator with a lifelong career in sports performance and Exercise Physiology. She brings an amazing perspective to this topic!

    So, get your notes ready as A’Naja shares her thoughts about a female athlete’s confidence, self efficacy, and why it’s vital in their development as an athlete and young woman.

    Redefining Success

    One thing we can do as parents is really reevaluating how we’re defining success. When we redefine success, we help our daughters redefine their own definition of success too.

    What does success mean to you as a parent? Is it winning?

    Oftentimes we praise and reward them for winning the game. There’s nothing wrong with that, but what happens if they don’t win? What type of feedback are we giving them?

    This is why redefining success is important. Focus on the process more than the outcome.

    When you focus on the process, you focus on the tangible things that are in their control. It reaffirms their confidence in doing things that they can do on their own.

    Young female athletes who focus on what’s in their control develop “Self Efficacy” which helps them focus on their tasks. Doing so will lead them into having “Self Confidence” as a part of their personality.

    Give them a thumbs up even just for showing up today, showing up on time, and all the little things in the process they did on their own. Social Support and vicarious/past experiences are the most impactful source of self-efficacy.

    Part of creating positive experiences for female athletes is by connecting and figuring out their purpose in getting into sports. Knowing their purpose will motivate them to do more. And as parents, you can help spark their motivation externally and internally. Development and motivation follow when they are rewarded and when they experience autonomy, enjoyment, and competence in their sport.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Hang out with A'Naja on social @anajanewsomephd and learn more about working with her!
    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Q&A: How Do I Be Mom AND Coach? Aug 02, 2022
    Show notes

    Today we’re going to answer a question we get a lot… how to be both the mom and the coach to your athlete daughter. I totally understand the difficulty because I am also a mom and a coach, and I agree it is really hard to be both.

    Let’s dive into this episode to learn more about the role you play in your daughter’s sports journey.

    Your role as a parent

    There are four roles at play in your daughter’s sports journey.

    • The athlete
    • The coach
    • The ref
    • The parent

    You are not all of THAT, but you are the PARENT. So your role in your athlete daughter's confidence as her mom, as her parent, is to shape the environment for her and provide the opportunities for her to improve.

    You shape the environment by what you say to her, but also through your nonverbal communication, or your actions.

    You provide the opportunities for her to practice and train. You give her the chance to train her physical game, train her mental game, and other things.

    So, how do you strengthen your athlete daughter's mental game without being pushy or saying the wrong thing… when you’re both the coach and the mom? Here’s a framework we teach in our free training

    The LOVE framework

    • LEAD, which means letting her lead.
    • OPEN, which means giving her an open space to breathe.
    • VALIDATE, which means validating her feelings.
    • ENCOURAGE, which means encouraging her through words.

    All these are really important to do even if you are the coach of her team. These are the skills you should have to support her.

    Responsibilities of each role

    If you are the coach of your daughter’s team, separate the two roles and be clear in explaining to her both your roles as her mom and her coach.

    Let her understand when you’re speaking to her as her mom, and when you’re speaking to her as her coach. In some gray areas where both your role as her mom and a coach is applicable, you can let her decide which role she wants you to be at the moment.

    So, when she’s feeling down after a game, you can be transparent and ask her whether she wants your advice as her coach at the moment, or she wants your comfort as her mom.

    Remember:

    • You have to make sure that you have the skills to support her as mom. And that's what we teach in our training. We help moms learn how to strengthen their athlete daughter's mental game without being pushy or saying the wrong thing.
    • Make sure that your daughter has the skills to develop her own mental game as well, so that she can evaluate her own performance without you constantly doing it for her.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms](FREE Training | How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game) - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    A Dad's Impact On His Daughter's Confidence w/ Nathan Wheeler Jul 26, 2022
    Show notes

    Usually, our program leans more into the mom-daughter relationship, but I hear from many moms who say their husbands need to listen to our topics.

    So this time, we've invited a dad of four female athletes. The oldest is 16 and plays basketball, runs track, runs cross country, plays golf, and tennis. The middle daughter is 14 and plays the same sports as the eldest. The next daughter is nine and plays a little bit of the same sports as her sisters. The youngest daughter is athletically gifted but not too into sports right now.

    Nathan is a girl dad, through and through. We talked about some of the frustrations as a sports parent and how to handle them, what Nathan was noticing before his daughters joined The Elite Competitor Program, and their changes as they went through the program.

    Here are some insights from Nathan; catch many more in the episode.

    What were you noticing in your daughter before ECP?

    At practice, my daughter could shoot but in games, she was just hesitant. She's a shooter, but she’s not a shooter during the game.

    I noticed and learned that many athletes who experience such things have perfectionism issues. They get afraid to mess up.

    What has been the most impactful part of this journey/ECP?

    My daughter’s relationships with others, not only athletically, improved. It changed her whole personality because she's focused on the mental side of not just athletics, but everything.

    Her dream to get an athletic scholarship was also granted.

    That is because she learned that…

    “your mindset, and how you respond to things impact every part of your life.”

    We work with a lot of moms/daughters, but I hear from a lot of moms that they wish the dads would also listen in. What have you learned in supporting your daughter?

    I learned that supporting my daughter is a team thing— you, your kid, and your wife. If you have the mom and the dad on the same page, your daughter will take your advice and opinion more seriously.

    I think that both parents need to be on the same page. Pretty much.

    Communicating with my wife about the materials, research, videos, and things I found that I wished had, made us think on the same page.

    What message do you have for the dads?

    Our kids are our most prized possession. So take time, to, you know, nourish what that child needs.

    Work hand in hand with your wife and start helping with the basics, but leave the coaching to the coach. Don’t give your teenager unsolicited advice or it’ll just go from one ear to the other.

    Just try to be there for them. Focus on the process, and not the outcome. What a dad can do is make sure she's getting everything she needs mentally and emotionally. The outcomes will take care of themselves. The mental and emotional part of sports is 90% of the game. If you got a kid that's solid mentally, they're going to be good.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms](FREE Training | How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game) - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    What You Can't Control About Your Daughter's Mental Game...And What To Do About It Jul 19, 2022
    Show notes

    As a sports mom, I know you want your athlete daughter to be confident, achieve her goals and enjoy what she's doing. I also know that many of you take it upon yourself to ensure that this happens for your daughter. You do things like get her to practice, allow her to try out for the right teams, buy her the gear, get private coaching, and so much more.

    You provide all these opportunities for her in terms of her physical preparation. And then there’s the pep talks, the shoulder to cry on, the tough love. There's so much that goes into this journey!

    While there's a lot that you can control and should hone in on and maximize, we're going to talk specifically about some things you don't have control over. I see a lot of female athlete moms get it wrong as they mix up what they can control with what they can't control, especially when it comes to their daughter’s mental game.

    So, here are some aspects of your daughter's game over which you have no control:

    #1: Her Outcomes

    Her outcomes, or the results she achieves on the court/field/mat, are beyond your control. This includes how many points she scores, whether she wins or loses, how quickly she learns, the team she forms, or the position she performs on her team. Her outcomes are ultimately not in her control and they aren't in your control either. The more you focus on the outcomes, the more pressure she feels.

    #2: Her Thoughts

    You can influence her thoughts about herself by what you say and do. Your words become her inner voice. You can not control this part of your daughter's mental game. You can't control her thoughts. You need to let go of trying to change her and trying to change her mind.

    #3: Her Interests/Passions

    Let her be the leader of her sports journey. What she wants might be different than what you're interested in or want. What she wants might be different than what you want for her. This also includes her motivation - you can't control that either.

    By knowing what's in your control you can;

    1. Shape the environment - through your thoughts, words, and actions. How you show up influences the environment in which she is in every day! You impact her confidence through your own beliefs, words, and actions.
    2. Provide the opportunities - give her chances to work on her mindset, grow her game, and do the things she loves!

    Let go of focusing on her outcomes and stop worrying about the losses even if you're a competitive person. If you are competitive, focus on the process.

    Don't worry if she decides to shift her sport, you can't control her passion. The best thing you can do is encourage that, cultivate it, and allow her to trust herself for what's working. And when it's not working, encourage her to follow her gut and let it go.

    Start by being a role model for her and by giving her the chance to train her mental game.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
    • Join our FREE training for Sports Moms](FREE Training | How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game) - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    How Gratitude Can Transform Your Life With Lori Saitz, CEO of Zen Rabbit Jul 12, 2022
    Show notes

    Meditation and gratitude can change lives. I know that's a bold claim, but you will find through today’s conversation that the way our guest approaches these skills really is transformational and it will change your life and in turn, help your daughter.This is an opportunity for Sports Moms to do their own personal work as well to influence their daughter’s environment.

    Today, we're talking about meditation and gratitude with our special guest, Lori Saitz. Lori is the CEO of Zen Rabbit, and she is a transformational meditation coach. She helps high performers transform their minds from stressful and chaotic, to calm and focused through her collaborative approach. She guides them to increase focus, energy, and happiness.

    Tune in as we talk about meditation and gratitude. You’ll learn some tangible ways that you can incorporate both and also help your female athlete in her sport.

    What meditation and gratitude is and the importance of it in our daily lives

    Meditation can be defined as engaging in contemplation, reflection, and/or mental exercises to reach a higher level of awareness. Many of us are aware that there are a lot of benefits to meditation, yet most of us don’t practice it regularly.

    Meditation decreases anxiety and increases resilience. It helps people spend less time thinking about their past mistakes which is important for athletes and their parents.

    Meditation also allows moms to show up as the sports parent they want to be; a Mom with good emotional stability is able to help provide a calm environment for her daughter. Meditation practices are also something that a mom and daughter can create as a shared experience with one another.

    Gratitude, then, is defined by the quality of being thankful and expressing appreciation.

    If you want your daughter to learn how to meditate and be in a place of gratitude you have to start meditation and being grateful yourself. It is more effective when you set yourself as an example vs. telling them what to do without practicing your advice.

    To sum it up;

    • Meditation and gratitude help people/athletes perform better in any circumstance. It allows us to control and create a calm environment which is better practice to influence your daughter or the people around you.
    • You can practice meditation and gratitude by recognizing what you feel and then look for something to be grateful about.
    • Set up your day in the right direction by giving time to meditate, reflect and be present.

    Meditation is an investment in yourself and helps your female athletes be more confident with how they handle themselves in any type of circumstances.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Hang out with Lori Saitz on social @zen_rabbit and learn more about working with her!
    • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
    • Join our FREE Training - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing
    • Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


    Q&A: How Do I Help My Daughter Get Over Mistakes? Jul 05, 2022
    Show notes

    What do you say to your daughter when she’s beating herself after mistakes?

    Here’s a question from one of our Sports Moms Inner Circle moms relating to this kind of struggle.

    “My daughter plays well in games, at least I think she does, but afterward, she won't stop beating herself up over a few mistakes. I usually try to tell her to move on and remember all the good things she did. However, it doesn't really seem to work. Any suggestions on how to help her get over those mistakes and focus on what she had right instead?”

    If you’re a sports mom, then you’ve probably been in this kind of situation. And every athlete has this struggle at some point in their sports journey. When your female athlete starts thinking and saying negative things about herself, what is the right thing to say?

    Today we’re going to talk about why this happens and the different strategies you can use to help your daughter in these kinds of situations.

    Struggle With Perfectionism

    Beating herself up after mistakes is often found in athletes who suffer from a touch of perfectionism. Everything has to be perfect or exactly right or they are unable to feel good about themselves. They're frightened of disappointing their coaches, teammates, and you. They simply do not want to make mistakes for fear of disappointing others or lack a strategy or method for recovering from failures.

    Focusing on The Process

    Athletes who struggle with negative thoughts need to have a really solid post-competition routine, that is how to focus on the process. This is something we teach inside the Elite Competitor Program. We train athletes in a very specific post-competition routine so that they can productively evaluate their performance. Because a lot of times, if they don't have a productive way to process, they get stuck with focusing on outcomes.

    Help them to be process-wise instead of outcome-wise.

    L-O-V-E

    We also teach a framework around this post-competition in our Elite Competitor Program so that sports parents have a routine to fall back on when supporting their daughter post-competition.

    And the one that we teach is love… L-O-V-E.

    Each of those letters stands for something different, but I wanted to focus today on the most important point of L-O-V-E and that is the letter V which symbolizes the word “VALIDATE”.

    VALIDATE her sentiments and what she says. It might be as simple as one sentence. Allow her that room rather than forcing her to rush through the scenario.

    In summary, there are various reasons why athletes struggle with these negative thoughts. It might be because of some underlying perfectionism. Help her process her experiences with a post-competition routine, validate her feelings, and help her focus on process versus outcome.

    **********
    Helpful Links:

    • Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
    • Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

    The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!


    Join our FREE live training for sports parents: The Do's and Don'ts of Strengthening Your Athlete's Mental Game! -> REGISTER HERE


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