Pure Desire Podcast

Sex During Recovery (Podcast Episode)

Pure Desire Counseling

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253 - Gaslighting, Manipulating, & Lying May 10, 2022

Show notes

Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life and protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those struggling chose these behaviors, how spouses can identify them, and how couples can heal from their effects.

RESOURCES

Genesis Process (Michael Dye's Recovery Resource)

Center For Healthy Sex

Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Hope For Men (Men's Betrayal Resource)

Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)

Recovery Action Plan (For Struggling Spouse)

Recovery Action Plan (For Betrayed Spouse)

Pure Desire Counseling

Disclosure Process Counseling

Relapse Prevention Tool/Three Circles (Recovery Tool)

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252 - Pastors, Church Leaders, & Sexual Misconduct May 03, 2022

Show notes

It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches.

RESOURCES

How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex

Sexual Integrity 101

Pure Desire Online Groups

Pure Desire Counseling

The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill (Christianity Today's Podcast)

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251 - The Good Guide To Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith & Sheila Wray Gregoire Apr 26, 2022

Show notes

Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, how frequent we should be having sex, and A LOT more!

RESOURCES

The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila's updated book)

The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila & Keith's new book)

To Love, Honor, and Vaccum (Sheila's blog)

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250 - Taboo Topics Apr 19, 2022

Show notes

When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when they come up, and how we can diminish the shame around these elements of our story.

RESOURCES

GROUP LEADER TRAINING (PRE-ORDER)

PURE DESIRE COUNSELING

PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS

MEMO OF UNDERSTANDING (TOOL)

COVENANT TO CONTEND (TOOL)

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249 - Leading Women's Groups Apr 12, 2022

Show notes

Pure Desire groups for women are essential to an effective recovery ministry. Whether it’s groups for women who’ve experienced betrayal or women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, these groups are needed! If we want to create cultures in our church where “it’s okay to not be okay,” we need a group structure and women willing to lead. On today’s episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to talk about leading women’s groups. We talk about what to look for in group leaders, unique aspects to women’s groups, and best practices for leading Betrayal & Beyond and Unraveled groups.

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248 - Performance Wounds w/ Stephen Thomas Apr 05, 2022

Show notes

Whether we've played sports, performed in theater, or participated in other performance-oriented activities, we have all experienced failure. These moments of failure impact us at a deep level. On today's episode, we talked with Stephen Thomas, a marriage and recovery consultant, about how these performance failures wound us, how they contribute to our recovery and healing journeys, and how to heal our performance wounds.

RESOURCES

STEPHEN THOMAS CONSULTING (STEPHEN'S WEBSITE)

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247 - Becoming A Porn-Free Person w/ Matt Dobschuetz Mar 29, 2022

Show notes

Becoming a porn-free person is not an easy journey but is so worth the effort! Matt Dobschuetz knows this first hand. Matt, the host of the Porn Free Radio Podcast and author of the new book Porn Free, joins us for a crossover episode of the podcast. On today’s episode, we talk to Matt about his new book and the insights he shares about the recovery journey. Matt even asks us a few questions during the interview. It’s a good time and we know you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matt.

RESOURCES

PORN FREE RADIO PODCAST (MATT’S SHOW)

PORN FREE (MATT’S NEW BOOK)

MAKING ROOM FOR RECOVERY (BLOG BY JUSTIN WATSON)

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246 - Replacing Unwanted Sexual Behaviors Mar 22, 2022

Show notes

It’s not enough to just stop our unwanted sexual behaviors. In order to truly break free and heal from the effects of unwanted sexual behaviors, we must find replacement behaviors. Like learning to ride a bike, our mind holds on to repeated behaviors and never lets them go. If we want to stop these automatic behaviors, our brain requires we replace them with new ones. On today’s episode, we discuss why we need new behaviors, what kinds we should pursue, and how to make sure our new behaviors don’t get added to the list of unwanted ones.

RESOURCES

SEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 (VIDEO COURSE)

INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS

UNRAVELED (WOMEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE)

SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (MEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE)

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