Pure Desire Podcast

3 Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

FASTER Scale (Free Tool)

Home Stress Test (The American Institute of Stress)

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282 - Recognizing & Changing Our Digital Patterns w/ Jason Mathew Nov 29, 2022

Show notes

If we ever want to live in sexual health, we must know our patterns. This isn't just our patterns of fantasy or sexually acting out. This extends to understanding our digital patterns—how we use technology in unhealthy ways. Today, we are joined by Jason Mathew, founder of LeadMeNot, a digital wellness company. Jason shares his story of sexual brokenness and how recognizing and changing his digital patterns helped him find freedom. We also talk about what digital wellness looks like and how it impacts the recovery and healing journey.

RESOURCES

LeadMeNot (Jason's digital wellness company)

Tech Action Plan (Technology Tool)

Unwanted (Jay Stringer's book)

Wisephone (Techless product)

Three Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention Tool)

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281 - The Impact Of Sexual Addiction (w/ Dr. Adrian Hickmon) Nov 22, 2022

Show notes

When addressing unwanted sexual behavior or any level of sexual brokenness, the language of "addiction" is difficult to accept. What is it that makes something an addiction? What makes it a sexual addiction? To help us understand sexual addiction and its impact, we talk to Dr. Adrian Hickmon, a therapist and the founder of Capstone Treatment Center. We discuss the criteria of an "addiction," why sexual addiction is so damaging, how trauma factors in, how it damages relationships, and what recovery from this addiction looks like. We also get to hear stories from Adrian's clinical work at Capstone.

RESOURCES

Capstone Treatment Center (Adrian's organization)

The Urge (Carl Erik Fisher's book)

Don't Call It Love (Dr. Patrick Carnes' book)

IITAP Certifications (PSAP & CSAT)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

CSAT Certification (IITAP)

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280 - Stories Of Healing: Nate & Maggie Blaylock Nov 15, 2022

Show notes

Life becomes difficult when you lose your job, ministry, community, and home. This is the story of Nate and Maggie Blaylock. Because of Nate’s unwanted sexual behavior and addiction, not only did they have to leave the community they were a part of, they had to completely start over in another city. But that’s not where their story ended. Through their own healing and recovery, God equipped them to be healers in their own right. Listen to today’s Story of Healing to hear how God took them from broken and alone to becoming therapists who help others every day.

RESOURCES

Full Episode Video (YouTube)

PSAP Certification (IITAP)

FASTER Scale (Free Tool)

Join A Local Pure Desire Group

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Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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279 - How To Support Pure Desire Groups At Your Church Nov 08, 2022

Show notes

Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Garraway, our Church Relations Specialist. We talk through what to do and not do as we support our groups. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement we encourage. Plus, we talk through resources to help churches run effective, life-changing Pure Desire groups.

RESOURCES

Group Leader Training (video course)

Church Membership

Individual Membership

Sexual Integrity 101 (video course)

Immanuelg@puredesire.org (Immanuel Garraway's contact)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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278 - The Four Pillars Of Sexual Love w/ Dr. Juli Slattery Nov 01, 2022

Show notes

Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit, Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the importance of faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial love, and a passionate celebration of covenant love all impact our sex life.

RESOURCES

2022 Pure Desire Summit Lifetime Access

Authentic Intimacy (Juli's organization)

God, Sex, and Your Marriage (Juli's new book)

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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

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277 - FAQ #14: Singles & Unmarried Oct 25, 2022

Show notes

Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married? What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We talk about sexual health and its expression as an unmarried person, what is "too much" to share with a significant other or friends, betrayal trauma as a single person, and A LOT MORE!

RESOURCES

Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource)

Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)

Living Free (College-Aged Men's Recovery Resource)

Pure Desire Counseling

Relapse Prevention Plan (Free Tool)

Recovery Action Plan (Free Tool)

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Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

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276 - A Partner Sensitive Approach To Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens Oct 18, 2022

Show notes

Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Dr. Barbara Steffens. Dr. Steffens helps us understand what a partner-sensitive approach looks like (featured in our NEW Betrayal & Beyond resource), how this approach differs from other historical approaches, how the church can better serve betrayed partners, and why healing from betrayal trauma is so important.

RESOURCES

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse (Dr. Steffens' Book)

APSATS

APSATS Training

Betrayal & Beyond Preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource)

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Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

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275 - Running Effective Groups: Betrayal & Beyond Oct 11, 2022

Show notes

Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced sexual betrayal. We are in week 4 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we’re focused on running effective Betrayal & Beyond groups. We look at why these groups are so important, what the NEW and UPDATED Betrayal & Beyond resource covers, and how to help facilitate this healing environment for women.

RESOURCES

Betrayal & Beyond—available for preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource)

Groups Pathway (Free Resource)

7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma (Free eBook)

Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course)

Group Leader Training (Video Course)

Connected (Marriage Resource)

Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource)

Pure Desire Counseling

GET STARTED

Summit 2026!: Register Now

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma