PMP153: Maintaining Balance and Focusing on What Matters, Part 2
May 22, 2019
Show notes
When Principal Jen Schwanke was talking to one of her teachers about the importance of balance, her teacher asked an honest question. “Why should I do this when you don’t?”
Photo by Mpho Mojapelo – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@mpho_mojapelo?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit
Jen realized then that she had been modeling bad habits for her teachers. For instance, when she sent emails to teachers at 10:00 PM, she was demonstrating that work was happening when her teachers should have been resting.
All of us are guilty of not practicing or modeling the good habits of maintaining balance. And frankly, none of us will ever achieve perfect balance. But you can focus on areas of your life that need attention in order to keep those essential areas (your health, mindset, family, personal interests, etc.) of healthy and growing.
Othersare looking at us for the expectation we set for ourselves. So when you ask teammates to plan ahead, be in the moment, and “work smarter, not harder,” you must consistently reflect on your own practices and adjust accordingly.
2. Learn when it’s time to walk away.
You can’t be everything to everyone, so don’t kill yourself trying. Yes, many situations and people will require investments of time, energy, and emotion. At the end of the day, however, you cannot control every outcome. Learn to accept that and turn your focus back to those areas where you can make a difference.
3. Recognize seasons.
Certain times of year and seasons of life affect the stress of life and school. Be aware of new marriages, strained relationships, teachers as new parents, or those caring for aging adults. Just as school has seasons, so does life. So let others be vulnerable and honest about the seasons they are facing, and give them (and yourself) grace and support during the harder times.
4. Get help when you need it.
One of Jen’s administrator friends relates a story about how hiring a cleaning lady completely relieved her of the stress of housework at a time when she was trying to manage too much. Sometimes you need to be willing to ask for help or seek therapy to talk through anxieties. Tuck in your cape and don’t pretend to be a superhero.
5. Accept you are not always in control of your time.
Yes, we can set priorities, but accepting the ebbs and flows of school and life will help you maintain poise when situations happen that detour of time and attention. Part of the challenge (and joy) of school leadership is the unpredictability of leading school communities. So embrace it.
6. Acknowledge when others need a break.
At times, your teachers need you to simply acknowledge they are overwhelmed. Perhaps you need to cancel a scheduled meeting to give them some time for other tasks. When it comes to assign tasks, duties, or initiatives, ask yourself what can be “taken off their plate” before “adding more to their plates.”
7. Use free time you are given when you need it.
Time is something you will never get back. Use your personal days, vacation days, etc. — and when you are sick, let yourself be sick. When you find moments of freedom (especially vacations), stop working and focus on those other areas and people who deserve your attention. A good friend of mine lost his wife to a rare disease. He told me that their vacations are now some of his fondest memories. In fact, he told me, to protect those times now because you never know when you may not have the opportunity to enjoy them again.
8. Make a calendar and use it flexibly.
Use your calendar to prioritize and schedule what matters. This allows you to say “no” to some good but optional requests. And then remember that a calendar is a guide, not a commandment. Remain flexible and accept some events need to be rescheduled, rearranged, or cancelled.
9. Use your team.
You have talented team members who can help fill in when you need them, and you can fill in when someone needs you.
10. Consider the ups and downs.
As a school leader, one day you’re a hero, the next moment the enemy. This reality check will keep you humble and help you maintain perspective. Just like NBA superstars make mistakes, accountability and hard knocks help us remember our humanity and need for growth.
Let’s Wrap This Up
A few weeks ago, I had an eye infection, and my doctor suggested washing my face and eyes with baby soap. When I did, the smell of that soap brought back so many memories of when my children were babies. I sat down and wrote an email to my oldest daughter as way to write down those memories and to reconnect with a relationship that matters. If you want to hear it, you can listen to me read that letter at the end of this week’s podcast.
Now It’s Your Turn
What is one action you can take today to reconnect with an area of your life that may need attention? Just take five minutes to focus on that area. As you wrap up this semester, remember your school community deserves the kind of respect, attention, and excellence you gave them during the first days of school. And you deserve that kind of treatment too. Stay strong, and thanks for doing what matters!
PMP152: Maintaining Balance and Staying Focused on What Matters
May 15, 2019
Show notes
We just celebrated Mother’s Day. This time of year is a good reminder that our families play such an important role in our lives outside of school.
Photo by Bruno Nascimento – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@bruno_nascimento?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit
No matter how many principals I visit, one conversation comes up often: how to maintain balance and stay focused on what matters even while leading a school. Although I think it is naïve to believe you can achieve perfect balance, I do believe you can take time to reflect and focus on important areas of your life – other than just your leadership – that lead to healthier self-growth and stronger care for others.
This week, co-host Jen Schwanke and I jump into a conversation on maintaining balance. School leadership is something you do with your heart, not just your mind. When you pour your heart out at school, how can you also have heart left for caring for your family, your health, and other life priorities? The answers are not easy, but just paying attention to your need for self-care is the first step.
As you reflect, remember you’re not alone. People in all professions face struggles in keeping healthy priorities, but principals are often like first-responders: managing situations that are often intense and emotionally draining. Consider these 10 tips for self-care we discuss in this week’s podcast episode (next week, we’ll cover even more):
10 Tips for Reflecting on Your Own Self-Care
Put family first. Whatever your family looks like, make sure the ones you love don’t only get the “leftovers” of your time and attention. Give them priority with your time and attention because they are the ones who need to be there when work no longer exits.
Stay connected to colleagues. Even if you are often working alone as a principal, you can still avoid loneliness but staying connected to others. Find what supports and uplifts you in your work, and take time for that connection. Maybe that means getting out of the office to spend more time in classrooms. Perhaps it’s taking a few minutes to eat lunch with others and stop eating while reading emails. You need others.
Exercise. Your body was made to move, not just consume energy-drinks. Yes, staying active is a commitment, but when you take time to exercise, you will actually find more energy, not less, for your work.
Drink coffee. Ok, this is my own personal indulgence. Whether it’s tea, coffee, or a smoothie, little rewards are okay and can boost your day and help provide boosts of energy. Plus, my wife tells me I’m a better husband and dad when I’m caffeinated!
Find activities outside of school you enjoy. A few weeks ago, I met Principal Ian White at Freeport Intermediate who is building his own paddle board after school. I love podcasting, which is something I did while leading a school because it gave me a creative outlet for sharing about my school’s success. Whatever it is you love to do, find time to enjoy those activities too.
Balance technology. Learn to turn off technology and have face-to-face conversations, or go for a walk. Or use technology in a healthy way rather than a way that depletes your energy.
Don’t eat like you work in a school. In other words, commit to good nutrition. Yes, your grandmother was correct: healthy food and lots of water makes you feel better.
Sleep. It is not weakness to rest. And research has confirmed this. You need good sleep for your overall health and peace-of-mind.
Make regularly scheduled sacred time. Whether that is a Sabbath rest, a designated time for something you love, or a vacation-time with your family – protect these sacred times to not do work and recharge your batteries.
Give yourself grace. No matter what season you are in, you may feel overwhelmed by the ups and downs of your leadership. So, give yourself a break. Accept you won’t manage life perfectly. So start each day fresh and give yourself the kind of grace you should afford others who are managing lots of responsibilities.
Let’s Wrap This Up
For those of you finishing up the school year, this time of year may be the worst time to think about self-care. But as you look at your day, week, and the weeks ahead, remember that taking care of your mental, physical, social, or even spiritual growth will give you more strength for caring for others. In the end, give yourself grace, and keep growing – you deserve good self-care and so do the people whom you serve.
Now It’s Your Turn
In next week’s podcast episode, Jen and I will touch on several other reminders for protecting your own health. What is one action you can take today to focus on something you love that can help your own self-care? What is a something that brings you joy? Take time today to invest in that part of your life. Stay strong as you wrap up this season of your school year!
PMP151: Hiring & Retaining High Quality Teachers, Part 2
May 08, 2019
Show notes
Several weeks ago, I had the privilege of visiting Norman High School, in Norman, Oklahoma.
Photo by Ian Schneider – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@goian?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit
Dr. Scott Beck was recently named Oklahoma’s High School Principal of the Year, and I wanted to touch-base with him and tour his school. From the moment I entered the building until I left, I was impressed – not just with Scott’s leadership and connection with students, teachers, and team members, but also at the quality and professionalism of his team.
We walked hallways, observed classes, and visited with busy office staff. Office workers, counselors, librarians, teachers, teacher’s aids, and assistant principals – all of these team members were busy serving students, parents or colleagues. Parents were being treated with professionalism. Students were given ownership over their learning in classrooms. And Dr. Beck was demonstrating the same kind of excellence that I saw in his teachers and staff.
Why is hiring such an important part of your responsibility as a principal? First and foremost: because the students, teachers, and community members deserve high quality education experiences like the ones Scott’s school enjoys. And secondly: because the people in your school often reflect on your own leadership.
Although we cannot judge ourselves by the way others behave, school leaders are responsible for how others behave under their leadership, and hiring plays one of the most crucial roles in the kind of culture and environment a school provides.
Part 2 of Hiring & Retaining High Quality Teachers
This week, we dive into Part 2 of Hiring & Retaining High Quality Teachers. You can check out Part 1 here. As co-host Jen Schwanke, author and principal, and I share in this week’s podcast episode, there are several important ideas to keep in mind:
3 Tips for Hiring & Retaining Talented Educators
Know the difference between talent and skill. You can teach skill. You can’t teach talent. Enough said (but you can listen to the podcast episode for more).
Value your candidates. The way you treat candidates reflects on your leadership, and you never know when someone may be re-applying for a future position if this one isn’t offered. So remember:
Show respect, kindness, and professionalism (Show the same courtesy you’d want to receive.)
Remember others are out there talking about the experience
Be open to working your schedule around candidates, not vice-versa.
Keep in mind a number-2 candidate may later come back as a number-1. So treat everyone with dignity and respect.
When possible, follow-up by phone with every candidate so that even those not chosen feel honored.
Showcase your school’s vision, culture, and offerings. This IS a sales job for hiring the most excellent candidates.
When the candidate pool is shallow, be creative: visit job fairs, go online, use social media, be open to interviewing remote candidates via video-chats.
3. Once you have hired a quality educator, here are some important tips for keeping them on the team:
Check in often (but don’t hover!) – New hires deserve your attention but also the autonomy to learn and make mistakes.
Morale/culture – Fostering positivity is an important part of attracting and retaining talent.
Support new teachers and watch out for exhaustion, confusion, loneliness. Give them a break when need.
Remember seasons that come with life – raising children, new marriages, caring for older parents, experiencing a crisis — all these times can be tough seasons, so be supportive.
Create a cadre of friends/colleagues for new hires. Then get out of the way.
Provide resources (many teachers leave because they had illusion of what it was like…then they find it was harder/lonely/etc.) Make sure they have the resources they need.
Act quickly when there are problems. Following-up shows you are paying attention and care.
Teach and model balance. Your teachers don’t need emails from you at 10PM. Model a good work/life balance.
Let them go, fly, and succeed. Everyone has a different personalities, gifts, and ideas. Encourage these unique talents.
Foster leadership. Allow new hires to develop skills in serving others, and look for potential future school leaders among them too.
Provide key responsibility areas or helpful lists of key people, resources, and information so new hires aren’t left to guess where to find help.
Tours: Provide a tour of your school to all new hires. Make teachers’ first experiences the foundation for a great introduction to your school and community.
Let’s Wrap This Up
When I walked Norman High School with Dr. Scott Beck’s school, it was obvious Scott loves his school — I could tell by the way he interacts with teachers and students. It is also obvious that with his many years in the building, he has built a team of others who share and promote similar values for caring for and educating students. Long after he leaves or retires, his future students will continue benefiting from his commitment as well as the dedication of his teachers and staff.
The teachers you hire become the legacy of a school. Your students deserve the best, and your work becomes more joyful as you can attract high quality teachers onto your team. You won’t do this perfectly, but the hiring process, the on-boarding process, and how you support them will significantly affect the learning and the legacy of your school.
Now It’s Your Turn
What are some other suggestions you’d add to the list for hiring and retaining high quality teachers? What is one action you can take today to remind teachers you support their work and value their input?
Dr. Scott Beck with his amazing students at Norman High School, Norman, Oklahoma.
PMP:150 Hiring High Quality Educators, Part 1
Apr 24, 2019
Show notes
Recently, the teachers at Indian Run Elementary, in Dublin, Ohio, organized a “Flash TACO bar” – a spontaneous buffet meal where they shared great food and fun together.
Photo by rawpixel – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@rawpixel?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit
As principal of the school, Jen Schwanke reflects on the joy and creativity of her teachers: they not only love teaching but they also enjoy working together.
Across the nation, principals are facing teacher shortages. In my state for instance, Oklahoma has felt that burden especially strong. The reasons vary: Whether it’s lower teacher pay in some states or the stress that comes with compliance or class sizes – fewer people are choosing education as a college major and career. This means that more than ever principals also have a competitive field in recruiting and retaining excellent teachers.
We first discuss reasons hiring teachers is a huge responsibility, including:
The implications of your hires that go on for years and years (decades), either positive or negative
How your hires represent your school (beliefs, philosophy, attitude, etc.)
Applications & Interviewing Takeaways
Next, we talk about some important hiring priorities to keep in mind:
Depending on the size of your faculty and staff, your strategies for outreach may vary, but it’s important to determine ahead of time what your application process will look like and ensuring it is easy to understand. This means your district or school website must be updated with easy-to-locate applications.
Consider soliciting applications before openings exist. In other words, if you keep general applications available, you may already have applicants available when openings occur.
As you have openings, dig through applications and resumes looking for the qualities you want in a candidate. Open up applications inside and outside your district.
Spend time on social media investigating possible candidates as you want someone who would be the right fit for working with students.
If possible, it is best to interview by committee. Include a small group of teachers, administrators, or counselors so that you have a diverse representation. Clarify roles, and if your district allows you the responsibility, let the ultimate decision be yours.
Remain open to changing your mind as your colleagues may have different perspectives from you. Determine what you are looking for, and remind committee members that feelings/emotions are not hiring criteria: “I really like her! She’s so fun!” cannot be the driving-force of whom you hire.
Common Missteps to Avoid
Hiring is not necessarily about being “right” or “wrong” in your choices, it is about “fit.” As you’re looking for the right fit, keep these pitfalls in mind:
Don’t fall for a beautiful resume: just because you see a great resume doesn’t always mean you have a quality candidate.
Don’t fall for versed, rote answers: Universities train candidates in how to interview. Avoid robotics and explore answers for motivation and practice.
Don’t use questions you found from the internet: Instead, use nonstandard interview questions–ones that really reflect what you need.
Don’t forget to ask “why”: Take time to ask why do you want to be here?
Check References
Don’t ignore references: This is one of the most important steps to not forget.
Who is not on the list? Make sure you contact both who is on the list and if possible, who may not be on the list but should be.
Follow-up through phone calls, not an email or survey (these are very common practices common lately but don’t replace the kind of feedback you’ll hear in voice-to-voice conversations).
Be very wary of vague answers. (Jen shares one trick she uses when having a hard time recommending some is saying, “Her attendance was good.”)
Be careful of your gut. It’s okay to trust your instincts… just so your “gut” contains facts and an unbiased review of all the steps.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Hold to your standards when it comes to hiring high quality teachers. Remember the goal is to hire someone you would want teaching your own child. At the end of the day, if you can’t find the quality person needed for a position, it may be better to move forward with a substitute than to place the wrong person in a teaching position.
Now It’s Your Turn
If you’re in a place where the pool of candidates is shallow, this means becoming creative in finding the right candidates: use your social media contacts, advertise in both traditional and non-traditional settings, and use the positive messaging of your school as a way to attract quality candidates.
What are the most valuable values and qualities you are looking for in a teaching candidate? How are you including others on your team in selecting and choosing your hires? What are some creative ways to stand out among others in attracting high quality candidates to your school?
Next week, we’ll cover Part 2 of this conversation, including more takeaways as well as ways to retain high quality teachers once you’ve hired them.
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMPEncore109: The Power of One Caring Adult with Josh Shipp
Apr 17, 2019
Show notes
A few years ago, I sat across my desk from a student whose father had abandoned him and left the state. Photo by Rémi Walle – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@walre037?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit A family in our community had taken in the young man, and our school had been in contact with the Department of Human Services on what to do next. That morning I had been watching a video by Josh Shipp called One Caring Adult.
On a whim, I asked the student if he would watch the video on my computer with me. In his story, Josh Shipp shared his own story of abandonment, foster-care, abuse, and eventually finding stability and hope. His story was a powerful reminder of how one caring adult can change the life of a young person.
After watching the video-clip, I asked the young man if he’d ever had one caring adult on whom he could depend. He said, “Yes, my adopted mom who lives out-of-state. But I left because I didn’t want to follow her rules, and I don’t know if she’d have me back.” After several calls and other conversations, his adopted mom arranged a flight for him, and he flew back to her home to start the next chapter in his life.
Josh Shipp has a powerful story that inspires educators and students alike. Earlier this year, Josh spoke at the Oklahoma Middle Level Educators Association annual conference. Later, I was able to sit down with him for an interview. You can listen to our podcast interview or watch the video of our conversation.
Who is Josh Shipp?
Josh is a best-selling author, global youth empowerment expert, and acclaimed speaker. A former at-risk foster kid turned youth advocate, he is known for his documentary TV series Teen Trouble on A&E, that followed his groundbreaking work with teens.
Josh has spoken at universities such as Harvard, Stanford, MIT & UCLA. He is a recognized teen expert for media outlets such as MTV, CNN, FOX, The New York Times, ABC 20/20, & Good Morning America. He’s worked with groups of parents, educators & mental health professionals plus has spoken to more than TWO Million teens and parents live.
His ultimate goal is to help as many young people as possible. He trains other speakers through Youth Speaker University and his online mentoring program One Caring Adult has a world-wide reach.
Questions for Josh
In this interview, Josh answers the following questions:
1. Can you share some of your own story with us, and why you are dedicated to reaching today’s youth?
Josh shares about the influence of a foster parent named Rodney, an educator from Yukon, Oklahoma, who provided him with unexpected stability, firmness and fairness. After being arrested for writing hot checks, Josh has an important conversation with Rodney who tell him: “We don’t see you as a problem, we see you as an opportunity.” As Josh shared, “Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.”
2. Can you share one or two strategies on ways to have conversations with youth about uncomfortable topics?
Some strategies that Josh uses when working through difficult conversations include:
A. Be vulnerable. Vulnerability leads to vulnerability. Just like you catch a ball when it’s thrown your way, when you go first in taking risk, students will often reciprocate the appropriate vulnerability you model. With a half million foster kids in the U.S., Josh believed he was the only one. As he has learned to see life from the perspective of others, he has also learned that we must operate from the position of “Heal the wound, reveal the scar.”
B. Give them a sense of control. When talking to a young person about a difficult topic, name the topic. Don’t avoid the obvious. Address the elephant in the room by saying, “I need to ask you about ____________.” Then give them a mile-marker. Let them know how long the conversation will last so they understand the controls involved. Also, with boys, Josh suggests side-to-side conversations that feel less threatening.
3. What are some lessons you’ve learned about building teams or training others that may be helpful for school leaders?
Josh also builds and trains teams of motivational speakers on issues affecting students. As he has built teams, he shares three takeaways that have benefited his organization:
A. Simulate inevitable challenges. If you can give someone a task that involves problem solving or reveals their ability to manage inconvenience or flexibility, you can see how they will handle tasks as responsibility increases. “With more responsibility, the air gets thinner.” Practicing scenarios with team members helps identify where they need to grow before stepping into the real situation.
B. Use Focus Groups. When testing communication, outreach, or a new lesson or resource, Josh will often share it out with twenty members of his work community. He will ask three simple questions: 1. What was most helpful? 2. What was unclear? 3. What did I just ask for you to do?
C. Keep Mental Focus. Josh asks his tem to always assess with the question: How can this be 10% better? Always focus on growth and improvement so your service and influence becomes better, not stagnant.
4. What is one parting piece of advice, and how can listeners stay connected with you?
Josh’s parting piece of advice is: “Wishful thinking is not a strategy.” You must be willing to take bold, decisive action on your ideas if you want to move forward in helping others.
If you want to connect with Josh and all his resources, including his menu of speakers he has trained in presentations to youth and educators, you can find out more about him at www.onecaringadult.com.
Let’s Wrap This Up
I do not know the end of the story of the young man who flew back home to his adopted mom, but I do know he was inspired by someone who had been through similar challenges. As a school leader, you also work with many young people who need someone to believe in them. Don’t forget the power of simply being someone willing to mentor or guide others.
Now It’s Your Turn
What is one action you can take today to encourage the student or teachers in your school to see themselves as opportunities? How can you turn good intentions into a positive and powerful actions today?
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMP:149 Managing Adult Conflicts, Part 2
Apr 10, 2019
Show notes
Spring time is here, and the landscape is green with new growth. Ironically, my wife told me that by the spring of each school year, she has decided that our marriage is falling apart, our kids all need counseling, and we have chosen to the wrong places to live, work, etc. Photo by Daniel Hjalmarsson – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@artic_studios?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit In other words, she has finally realized that this time of school year is often the most stressful time. Thankfully, by summer break, life seems more balanced again.
This may be no surprise for you. Right now, you may be busy with testing, sports, activities, and planning for assemblies or graduations this time of year. Along with stress, we often see an increase in conflicts, and even with conflicts among our teachers, parents, or other community members.
Last week, Jen Schwanke, and I hosted an episode dedicated to managing difficult conversations with adults. You can check out that post HERE. This week, we recorded a follow-up episode to talk more about this important part of your job.
10 Reflections for Managing Adult Conflict
Whether you are managing conflicts with parents, teachers, or other adults, here are some thoughts to keep in mind:
1. Recognize your own bias. Believe it or not, sometimes you don’t clearly see a conflict because of your own biases. This may be the way you perceive others or even behaviors or words that “set you off” in conversations. You may unknowingly have “favorites” among your staff, and this can also make it difficult to stay objective. Recognize these realities, and then approach each conflict with an openness toward understanding and finding solutions.
2. Be open to listening (on your timeline when possible). People want to know they are understood. So the first step to resolving conflict is validating the need for others to be heard. This doesn’t mean, however, that you cannot set boundaries. On the contrary, you want to invite people to talk when it can be most productive and with limits on time. This creates a sense of control for all involved.
3. When meeting in person, be aware of body language. Don’t cross your arms or clench your fists. Keep an open posture and engage with good eye-to-eye contact. These small gestures go a long way in assuring the other person that you are open to listening and don’t feel threatened by their conversation. Of course, if you have a person who is escalating or becoming aggressive, you want to set the ground rules for a good conversation and have back up plans for those especially tricky scenarios.
4. Think about the physical environment. Your office should be a professional setting where others feel welcome and respect that you are someone demonstrating competence, not chaos. Most people don’t like “going to the principal’s office,” so keep that in mind so that yours is a welcoming place. Others should feel like a guest, not an intruder, when meeting with you.
5. Don’t let your ego get in the way. The goal in conflict resolution is finding solutions, not being right or wrong. Don’t let your pride become a stumbling block for active listening and service to others.
6. Keep the others’ perspectives in mind. This happens in many ways: You will want to articulate what you know about their feelings. Take notes on what is being said. Repeat back what you hear others saying. And provide ideas on solutions in line with your normal policies and practices. With adult conflicts, you may simply need to provide a safe place for people to express their thoughts and feelings, even if there is not a final solution that works for everyone.
7. Be an ally. Don’t fall into the trap of taking sides. The goal is to help others find solutions. When is the last time someone offered you criticism with goal of helping you grow and improve? That should be the attitude you have when helping resolve conflict.
8. Identify tactics and keep the conversation focused. People will try all kinds of strategies to keep from talking about what really matters. Don’t allow tears, fears, anger, silence or blaming to push you away from the goal at hand. If possible, take notes when you are in a difficult conversation. This makes you an active listener and serves as good documentation. Don’t be afraid to say, “I feel like we’re getting off topic. Let’s talk about the goal we are trying to reach.”
9. Articulate an end time. If possible, set a time limit on conversations. This provides and goal for the meeting and gives participants a sense of control, which is important for everyone involved.
10. Know your exit strategy, have backup, and know when to ask for help. Whether you stand up when a meeting is over, or have your secretary call-in to remind you of your next appointment, plan ahead of time for how to wrap up a meeting. If you’re anticipating a meeting may escalate in emotion, have someone else in the room, leave the door open, or have another staff person standing by just in case you need a witness or extra support.
Let’s Wrap This Up
The goal of managing conflicts with other adults is to help find a solution so that students and the entire school community are better served. No matter how much agreement or disagreement happens in a difficult conversation, end with a personal touch. This may involve shaking hands and thanking them for talking together. Later, consider following up later with a phone call or text to make sure the person(s) you talk to know that you value them and their time — even you don’t agree on the final solution.
Now It’s Your Turn
No amount of preparation guarantees a positive outcome, but you can improve your ability to resolve conflicts, manage disagreements, and reach solutions. What is one new step you can begin taking when mediating or managing conflicts among adults in your school?
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMP:148 The “Why’s” and “How’s” of Managing Adult Conflict
Apr 03, 2019
Show notes
One of the biggest surprises for school new school leaders may be the conflicts that arise with adults. Photo by Nik MacMillan – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@nikarthur?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit Whether you are encountering conflicts with parents, colleagues or community members, these situations can be difficult to manage. Even experienced principals will tell you that managing conflicts is one of their most challenging but important responsibilities.
First of all, let’s talk about the motivations adults have when bringing conflicts to the principal’s office. As you are encountering scenarios, keep these ideas in mind:
People really do care about students and issues. Just as you care deeply about students, so do other adults. Assuming best intentions is a better place to start than assuming the worst.
People want to be heard and understood. Always seek to understand first before being understood. People often need to feel heard before being offered a solution.
People need mediators to help keep the focus on what is important. You often have the 1,000 foot view of your school because you have the responsibility to keep the big picture in mind. This places you in an important role as a referee and mediator.
It’s never “done.” There is always another coming… Dealing with conflict often means embracing that part of your work that is unpleasant. It will continue to be a role you play, so learn the skills and patience to become better — even while understanding you’ll never be perfect at conflict resolution.
There’s no measure of success. Sometimes everyone leaves unhappy. Even if you cannot help others reach a solution they like, you can still be a strong listener and advocate for what is right. In the end, the goal is not happiness, it is reasonable and wise guidance.
We are “evaluated” by how well we help other people solve problems. Like it or not, your ability to manage and resolve conflict helps the entire school community and district in its service. Learning to do this well also helps you make the jobs of your superintendent or supervisors a lot easier.
The first-steps in managing adult conflicts
Principals manage a lot of discipline scenarios, and some adult conversations can turn ugly. Here are some general ideas for managing tough conversations:
Know your district’s policies and procedures. When relying on the guidelines provided by your district, you have a measuring stick that is often objective and will be supported by your upper administration (in the best case scenarios). Either way, it is essential to let your policies be the primary guidance for consistency in decision making and mediation.
Keep your cool. It may be hard to keep your own emotions in check, but in order to provide objective feedback, it is a must. Your ability to gauge the emotions in a room and provide clear, calm responses will often help guide the outcomes.
Meet in person. When possible, it is best to meet face-to-face with someone who is upset, angry, or emotional. You will rarely resolve conflicts through texts or emails. People tend to be less defensive or volatile when face-to-face, and scheduling a meeting offers some time to collect your thoughts and calm emotions.
Filter out gossip vs. truth. Yes, people will often try to find ways around policies and procedures by diverting the topic to gossip, exaggerations, half-truths or lies. Stick to the facts. Show empathy but be discerning for what is truthful. This also means understanding both sides of an issue before making a decision.
Take responsibility/apologize when it is warranted. It’s okay to say “I’m sorry” to a parent or other adult when you need to validate their emotions.
Remember the pressure the other party is feeling. It takes time and courage to reach out with concerns, so be aware of the pressures others feel, acknowledge their stress, and try not to take complaints personally.
Let’s Wrap This Up
All of these steps happen after you’ve established with others that you care and are willing to listen. You will never perfectly manage conflicts, but you can help guide others through tricky or difficult situations by staying objective, relying on strong policies, keeping your cool, and trying to see others’ perspectives. In the end, we all have room to grow when it comes to mediating tough conversations.
Now It’s Your Turn
What is a step you can take to practice active listening when others bring you concerns while also relying on strong policies and procedures to guide your decisions? In next week’s post, PMP:149, Jen and I will dive deeper into other practical steps and scenarios for managing and resolving conflicts with adults.
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMP:147 Providing Focused Professional Development
Mar 27, 2019
Show notes
When you think about providing professional development, do you feel stressed or excited? Photo by 1DayReview – Creative Commons Attribution License https://www.flickr.com/photos/159770474@N08
For many principals, providing professional development can be a daunting task. The good news is that professional development can become something that is meaningful and enjoyable when you realize you no longer have to be the expert. Instead, together with your school team, you can select topics, share expertise, and learn together how about topics where teachers really care about.
In this week’s podcast, Principal Jen Schwanke and I discuss Providing Focused and Budget-Friendly Professional Development. She has been serving co-host for this series on “Strategies and Solutions that Work for School Leaders.” Jen is also the author of You’re the Principal. Now What? Strategies and Solutions for New School Leaders, and the Principal of Indian Run Elementary School in Dublin, Ohio.
Consider Your Background for Professional Development
Here are some ideas to keep in mind before developing a Professional Development Plan:
Size of school
Size of district
Previous professional development
The level of your learners
What the data say
The resources available
District priorities
It’s important to keep this context in mind so that you can design PD that works for your setting and context.
Recommendation for supporting teachers in PD
Once you have this background, consider these steps and strategies:
Gather history about what your teachers have done previously
ASK THEM what they need (surveys, conversations, responses to school initiatives) o Provide choice and voice (just like the kids) o It needs to be applicable to their daily work
Find time (creative solutions for finding time)
Plan short-term and long term (sketching out a vision)
Spread about the work (Delegate! The principal doesn’t need to be the wisest guy in the room)
Use internal experts, but know when to outsource
Vet your PD (don’t just jump on the first vendor that sounds good)
Use your principal colleagues
Follow through with what you promise!!
Make profession reading an expectation (cheap, easy, and applicable– book study groups)
Use resources (more and more available online)
Finally, at the end of these conversations and planning, develop a shared professional development calendar. At the end of this week’s podcast, Jen shares a sample of how she and her school team build their own.
Listen-in this week as we also add some bonus-conversation at the end to remind you that it is better to choose fewer priorities than overwhelm yourself and your teachers with un-focused professional development.
Let’s Wrap This Up
You need to remember there is no way to include everything you want to cover in professional development, but you can learn to share the learning and increase the joy of focused PD. It is more important to go deep in one or two areas than to overwhelm your teachers with too many initiatives at once. Be a leader who listens AND protects those whom your serving – while also inspiring learning.
Now It’s Your Turn
What is one new way you can begin approaching professional development that involves input from your team? How can you protect time in your calendar so that time is prioritized for ongoing learning for your teachers and staff? What is something you’d love to learn more about? Ask your teachers that question and begin planning professional development with their input.
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMP:146 Good Habits for Balancing Priorities
Mar 20, 2019
Show notes
Have you ever felt overwhelmed in trying to balance priorities? Photo by Stephen Leonardi – Creative Commons No known copyright restrictions https://unsplash.com/@stephenleo1982?utm_source=haikudeck&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=api-credit If you’re like me, you can probably think of more than once where student discipline, parent concerns, and teacher feedback provided you more tasks than you could complete in a day.
No matter whether you are a new principal or a veteran leader, here’s a quick truth: you will never reach the point where you “have it all together.” That’s because you will always have room for growth. At the same time, how can you build strategies and good habits for better balancing priorities?
This week, author and principal Jen Schwanke and I continue a series on Strategies and Solutions for School Leaders. As we discuss ways for school leaders to balance priorities, we focus on nine helpful takeaways so that you increase your capacity to manage the demands of school leadership. These include:
1. Acknowledging your limitations. Every leader must admit he or she has limits, and it is a healthy practice to anticipate what you will do when overwhelmed with tasks, requests, and responsiblities.
2. Refusing to be a martyr. Tuck in your cape. You are not a super hero. And your teachers and students do not need a leader who sacrifices his or her well-being to serve.
3. Watching your attitude. At the end of the day, you set the tone for the optimism and hope of your school. You are not in it alone, but your attitude will convey to others how they should be handling pressure.
4. Staying organized. Yes, there are strategies, plans, and tips that can help. But these must fit your work style and personality to be effective.
5. Leaning on support. You were made to work with others. Don’t be afraid to model humility, ask for help, and rely on others for the tasks of leading a school.
6. Connecting with colleagues. Other principals and school leaders can provide a safety net for you. They provide perspective and support that can make the load feel lighter.
7. Putting students first. Yes, you have a lot on your plate, but always ask yourself how your actions, words, and plans are helping students.
8. Learning the cycle of leadership. Believe it or not, principals sometimes reach points of peace. When you have these rare moments, don’t feel guilty. Learn to draw strength from them for the next difficult moment you’ll encounter.
9. Embracing unpredictability with humor. It will be difficult to survive leadership unless you embrace pressure as part of the journey. It’s even more satisfying when you learn to find joy and laughter even in the crazy moments.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Among these helpful takeaways, Jen and I also discuss several ways leaders can organize and prioritize tasks so that they are fulfilling their duties and honoring those whom they serve. This includes creating a scheduling system that works for you, taking time to prioritize, and keeping track of tasks and crossing them off the list. Many of these great tips can be found in Jen’s helpful book, You’re The Principal! Now What?.
The good news is that over time, school leadership does provide seasons of stability, where you can breathe, reflect, and re-prioritize. Good habits do lead to better results. This week, choose one good habit you may want to implement or enhance for balancing priorities. What is one step you can take today to rethink your approach to managing many responsibilities while also finding joy in the process?
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
PMP:145 Promoting a Culture of Trust – Part 2
Mar 13, 2019
Show notes
When is the last time you heard the following words? “We do what’s best for kids.” Of course, we want school leaders to do what is best for students. But we also want to provide a place where adults feels supported and encouraged in bringing joy to students. Photo by KzAkabueze – ONEin12 – Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike License https://www.flickr.com/photos/64524820@N00 Those priorities are not in opposition to one another. And if you are going to encourage a culture of trust, collaboration and interdependence, you must value the input of your entire school community. That’s why I’m so excited to continue our conversation with author and principal Jen Schwanke as she co-hosts Part 2 of promoting a school culture of trust.
In Part 1, we discussed the three kinds of culture school leaders may face: cultures of isolation, cultures of distrust, or cultures of teamwork. In Part 2, we talk about how to cultivate a culture of trust or teamwork by promoting positive outcomes for everyone – students, staff, teachers, and community members.
Jen discusses some key questions for exploring your culture. Think about the following when seeking the input of your school members:
How do you feel about what’s happening in your classes and our school?
What is it that you see happening within our school that we can work on?
Tell me why you think this challenging situation has happened?
What do you think we can do about this?
Is there anything you’d like to share?
Listen to the history of your school, try digest information without passing judgement, and don’t commiserate with criticisms.
Also, in this episode, Jen and I talk about other scenarios like:
Does your school enjoy plenty of laughter? If not, it is possible students and teachers are not finding joy in their work.
What philosophy drives your leadership? Embracing a philosophy that what’s best for students = every member of the school community feels valued.
How do you encourage openness instead of isolation? Having open conversations vs. talking behind the back of the others.
Don’t miss out on the entire conversation for takeaways and encouragement in the way you are building culture as we continue our series on Strategies and Solutions for School Leaders.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Ultimately, when everyone feels valued, you are doing what’s best for kids. When you study cultures at Chick-fil-a, Southwest Airlines, or Starbucks Coffee and other successful companies, each of these organizations focuses on a commitment to employee satisfaction as much as customer satisfaction. And a focus on serving all helps lead to school-wide cultures of trust.
Now It’s Your Turn
What ways can your commitment to “What’s best for students” involve all members of your school community? What is a way you can embed open-ended questions into conversations with students and teachers in order to more deeply understand the “why” of your culture? What is one step you can take this week to model trust in others?
Sign-Up For Free Updates and Ebook
When you enter your email address below, you will automatically receive my newest posts and a free Ebook, 8 Hats: Essential Roles for School Leaders. Let’s keep learning together!
Subscribe for free weekly updates and receive free e-book!
* indicates required
Email Address * First Name
Last Name
(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);
Principal Matters–The Book!
School leaders are very busy, so each of the twenty-four chapters is designed as a quick-read and followed with take-action questions for follow-up or reflection. If you want practical ideas on understanding your purpose, managing school teams, dealing with challenges, and leading with courage, action, motivation, and teamwork, go HERE to pick up a copy for you or your team.
Messaging Matters
Harness the power of messaging to create a culture of acknowledgment, respect, and celebration. Written specially for leaders, this title is divided into three parts, helping readers to maximize their role as chief communicators with students, teachers, and parents and community. Each chapter includes suggestions for using digital tools to enhance messaging and ends with reflection questions and practical next steps.
Our TOPPODCAST Picks 
Stay Connected
