Practical Stoicism

Latest Episodes:

How to Get Over Your Ex Oct 11, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, I'm talking about how to get over your ex, particularly when a relationship ends that you valued more than the other person did. Breakups can be especially difficult because, unlike losing someone to death, you have to watch someone you once shared a life with go on living theirs without you. Over time, the relationship can begin to feel like something that happened in another lifetime, and it's easy to get caught up in missing them, resenting them, or questioning what any of it meant.

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I approach getting over an ex through three steps grounded in Stoic philosophy, beginning with understanding where your actual value comes from.

For the Stoics, our worth isn't determined by our relationships, careers, wealth, or whether somebody wants to be with us. It resides in our rational faculty, the hegemonikon, which receives impressions, forms judgments, and directs our choices. This faculty makes us capable of acting as rational moral agents, and the character we develop through its exercise is what matters most.

From there, I ask you to examine what you're doing with that faculty. Are your thoughts and judgments helping you become someone you respect, or are you allowing resentment, longing, and frustration to shape your character? I use some admittedly ridiculous metaphors involving moral auras, coloured plastic, and keeping the inside of your mind from becoming a pigsty, but the point is serious: the quality of our inner lives affects how we show up in the world.

Finally, I explain why recognising your responsibility to develop good character changes how you think about your ex. You have something more important to attend to than a relationship that's ended: becoming a decent, rational, virtuous person, not just for your own sake but for the benefit of everyone who shares the cosmopolis with you.

The Stoic approach isn't to make your ex irrelevant by pretending the relationship never mattered. It's to recognise that your value was never theirs to give you or take away, and that your attention belongs to the person you're becoming rather than the relationship you've lost.

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How to Stop Masturbating Oct 05, 2026

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This week, I’m answering a question I genuinely never expected to cover on Practical Stoicism: how do you stop masturbating? More specifically, what do you do when masturbation has stopped being an ordinary sexual behaviour and become something compulsive that you no longer feel reliably able to choose?

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I start by clearing up something important: there’s no particular reason to think the ancient Stoics regarded masturbation itself as morally problematic. Sexual pleasure isn’t the issue. The Stoic concern begins when our pursuit of pleasure starts overruling reason, self-command, our responsibilities, or our ability to live appropriately.

So this isn’t really an episode about how to stop masturbating. It’s about what to do when your relationship with masturbation has become compulsive enough to interfere with your life.

I work through seven practical steps: identifying the triggers that precede the behaviour, changing your environment around those triggers, developing replacement behaviours, addressing any emotional problems you may be using masturbation to regulate, seeking professional help when you repeatedly cannot regain control, considering reputable support groups, and measuring the problem by control and consequences rather than an arbitrary number of times per week.

I also talk about the difference between ordinary sexual behaviour and compulsive behaviour. The important question isn’t simply how often you masturbate. It’s whether you can reliably choose not to, whether you continue despite wanting to stop, and whether the behaviour is interfering with your work, relationships, responsibilities, health, or ordinary life.

There’s plenty of room for humour when talking about masturbation (and I certainly take advantage of it), but compulsive sexual behaviour can cause genuine distress, shame, isolation, and disruption. The Stoic response isn’t to treat sexuality as dirty or shameful. It’s to recognise when pleasure has begun governing us rather than remaining something we rationally choose.

How to Journal Like a Stoic Sep 30, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, I’m challenging one of the most common assumptions in modern Stoicism: that journaling is somehow an inherently Stoic practice. Marcus Aurelius wasn’t keeping a daily diary, Epictetus wasn’t assigning journal entries to his students, and the kind of expressive writing we now associate with “Stoic journaling” is largely a modern self-improvement practice.

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That doesn’t mean journaling is useless. Regular reflection, planning your day, reviewing your behaviour, and expressive writing can all be helpful. But they’re no more uniquely Stoic than they are Christian, Buddhist, atheist, or useful to an anthropomorphised and literate potato.

So if we’re going to talk about “journaling like a Stoic,” I think we need to invent a better standard for what that actually means.

I break Stoic development into three parts: study, practice, and living. First, we learn the philosophy from people who know more than we do. Then we practise applying what we’ve learned until new patterns of thinking and behaviour become habituated. Finally, we put down the books and training aids and go out into the world to see whether any of it actually stuck.

That middle stage is where I think writing can be genuinely useful to a Stoic practice.

Rather than simply recording what happened during your day or writing about your feelings, I suggest explorative writing: take a difficult question or real-world situation and try to reason through it Stoically without reaching for a book, ChatGPT, or a cheat sheet. The purpose is to discover what you actually understand, where your reasoning falls apart, and what you need to return to your studies to learn.

That’s also the approach behind my year-long program at StoicJournaling.com, available for a one-time purchase of £72.

So, ironically, my advice for journaling like a Stoic is to stop journaling, at least in the conventional sense, and start using writing as a place to practise the philosophy instead.

How to Think About Lindsay Clancy Sep 22, 2026

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In this episode, I take on the Lindsay Clancy case, but not to tell you what you should think about her. Instead, I use this extraordinarily difficult case to explore how a Stoic should think when confronted with terrible acts, mental illness, questions of responsibility, and our very human desire for punishment.

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I begin with the facts as I understand them and an important limitation: I don't know every detail of the case or trial. Clancy killed her three children and attempted to take her own life, but she had also sought extensive psychiatric help before the killings. The defence has argued that she was suffering from postpartum psychosis and that her condition had previously been misdiagnosed.

For Stoicism, that raises an important question. The acts were hers in the causal sense, but to what extent were they hers in the moral sense? Stoic ethics places enormous importance on our capacity for rational assent. If someone's rational faculty is profoundly impaired by psychosis, then determining their responsibility requires us to consider how capable they actually were of perceiving, judging, and responding to reality rationally.

That does not mean pretending the acts didn't happen, nor does compassion require us to ignore the safety of everyone else. If someone remains dangerous, restraint may be entirely appropriate. Justice has obligations both to the person who is ill and to the people who require protection from them.

Drawing on Seneca, I distinguish justice from vengeance. Restraint or punishment may be appropriate when it protects others, prevents further harm, or contributes to correction and treatment. Making someone suffer simply because their actions caused suffering is something else.

Ultimately, I suggest three things we should hold simultaneously: Clancy is a seriously mentally ill human being; she may require restraint for as long as she presents a danger; and where treatment and restoration are possible, justice should concern itself with those things too.

Stoicism should make our responses to cases like this slower, not faster. We should resist the satisfaction of immediate condemnation, examine the context carefully, ask what Justice actually requires, and only then decide how we ought to respond.

How To Live Forever Sep 09, 2026

Show notes

Most of my listeners are somewhere between 35 and 45, which means quite a few of us are reaching the age when mortality starts feeling a little less theoretical. In this episode, I explore one reason the idea of death can trouble us that has less to do with fear and more to do with something deeply human: the desire not to feel disposable.

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I begin with a conversation I recently had with a private coaching client about why believing in something after death can be comforting. My suggestion was that the comfort may not necessarily come from imagining rewards, avoiding punishment, or even continuing our conscious existence. It may come from believing that we remain important to something beyond ourselves, that we continue to have a place.

Stoicism offers an interesting answer to this without requiring a supernatural afterlife. The Stoics understood the Cosmos itself as God: the complete, contained system of Nature of which every one of us is presently a part.

Within that system, nothing simply disappears. The matter and energy that presently constitute us return to the Cosmos and continue participating in it. The individual person, with their name, memories, career, possessions, and personality, may not continue indefinitely, but that from which the individual is constituted remains part of the whole.

In that limited but meaningful sense, I suggest there is something resembling immortality available within the Stoic worldview. Stoicism doesn't promise a celestial city, an eternity spent with deceased relatives, or reincarnation as some other creature. Instead, it offers the idea that we were never separate from the Cosmos in the first place, and that what constitutes us continues to belong to and participate in that same whole.

If what troubles you about death is the thought of becoming irrelevant or disposable, perhaps there's some comfort in that. You aren't something the Cosmos eventually throws away. You are part of it now, and what constitutes you remains part of it after the particular arrangement presently called "you" is gone.

A Reflection on "Inner Peace" Sep 04, 2026

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Marcus Aurelius famously reminds himself that we don't need to retreat to the countryside or the seashore to find peace. In this episode, recorded from my new office in an old textile mill in Dundee, I reflect on why I think Marcus was theoretically right but practically wrong, at least for those of us who aren't sages.

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Inner peace may ultimately be a state of mind, but we're not perfect practitioners. Our surroundings affect us. Sometimes getting away from the noise, finding somewhere that feels comfortable, familiar, and peaceful, genuinely makes practicing Stoicism easier.

Since moving to Dundee, I've noticed a quieting in myself that I can't really attribute to anything else. Life hasn't become less demanding. I'm currently cramming roughly 40 hours of work into Monday through Wednesday, then spending Thursday and Friday as a full-time dad while protecting my weekends for my family. If anything, I'm doing more than ever.

Yet something about this place feels different. My little office overlooking Dundee, the seagulls and church bells outside the window, our flat beside a park, the city's working-class character, and even the coastal air remind me of places and people from my childhood. After several enormously busy years of marriage, fatherhood, building a business, raising investment, working full-time, and moving repeatedly, I feel unexpectedly at home here.

So this episode isn't really a lesson. It's a reflection on the role our environment can play in our ability to find some peace. Theoretically, Marcus was right: the perfect Stoic shouldn't need a particular place in order to achieve tranquility. But none of us are perfect Stoics, and sometimes finding the right place can make the work of becoming better considerably easier.

I also share a few updates at the end of the episode, including a request for help choosing the subject of a TED talk I'm working on, some early details about my forthcoming book Living Stoicism, and an invitation to a free community Q&A.

How to have healthy self-esteem Aug 24, 2026

Show notes

A healthy Stoic practice requires an accurate view of yourself. Think too little of yourself and you misunderstand your capacities; think too much of yourself and you do the same. In this episode, I explore self-esteem through a Stoic lens and explain why accurate self-knowledge matters to our pursuit of eudaimonia and sagehood.

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I begin by separating self-esteem from the popular idea that “ego is the enemy.” Rather than treating a positive view of ourselves as something inherently suspect, I argue that Stoic practice requires us to understand ourselves accurately: our capacities, our roles, our duties, our individual nature, and the ways we are positioned to contribute to the world.

That means avoiding two extremes. A depressive view of ourselves causes us to underestimate what we are capable of and what our duties require. A grandiose view causes us to overestimate our importance and abilities. Neither gives reason an accurate picture of the person whose life it is trying to direct.

I also look at criticism and the effect other people's judgments can have on our self-understanding. Marcus Aurelius reminds himself in Meditations 2.1 that we will encounter difficult, arrogant, ungrateful, and mistaken people because they misunderstand good and evil. Criticism can contain useful information, and we should examine it when it does, but another person's judgment of our value is not automatically authoritative simply because they have expressed it.

Finally, I offer a practical Stoic basis for healthy self-esteem using four areas of reflection: our shared nature as human beings, our individual nature, the circumstances and contexts we have been given, and the roles and paths we have deliberately chosen.

The goal is neither humility for its own sake nor inflated confidence. It is accuracy. Understand what you are, understand what is appropriate for you, and then work seriously to fulfil those roles and duties well.

How to defend your standards kindly Aug 19, 2026

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In today's episode I discuss whether pursuing a dream is a Stoic thing to do, and how to talk about your ambitions without accidentally insulting the people who don't share them. Before digging in please be aware of all the ways this podcast is able to exist without ads or formal sponsorship:

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First, some genuinely wonderful news. 134 Labs Limited, the company I started in December of 2025 to buy back my intellectual property from Front Porch Media, has closed a pre-seed round of 74,000 US dollars. That means I get to do philosophy full-time for the next 12 months. It took 5 years to get here and 7 months of chasing venture capital to close, and I'm honest in this episode about how ugly it got along the way (including a couple of months where my family had to be on Universal Credit to bridge the gap). Nothing about the podcast changes. No third-party ads, no unaligned sponsors, same content. But this next year is make or break: either I find a morally just way to make a living in philosophy or I walk away.

Then we get into the episode proper, which is about the pursuit of dreams. When you tell a friend that a regular life wouldn't be enough for you, they often hear "so my life isn't enough either," and that misunderstanding can wreck relationships. I use my sister as an example of someone wise enough to hear "your life wouldn't make me content" as a statement about alignment rather than a criticism of her choices.

To unpack why, I reintroduce the Stoic Daimon. I walk through how logos permeates everything, how different degrees of tonos produce different manifestations, and how in beings like us that becomes rational cognition (I use an electricity-in-a-building analogy to make this digestible). The daimon can incline us toward certain pursuits, but here's the catch: an inclination doesn't guarantee our interpretation of it is correct, and it doesn't guarantee success. An inclination toward music doesn't mean your role is professional musician, and measuring daimon-alignment by material success is measuring poorly.

I also talk about how a poorly trained rational faculty confuses things all the time (lust for love being the classic example), and how "follow your heart" guru advice can lead people into neglecting real duties. I share that I have two coaching clients right now whose husbands have been chasing startups for years with nothing to show for it, and I own the awkward fact that my own funding chase could look exactly like that from the outside. The difference, I argue, isn't outcomes. Stoics decide based on role ethics: reasoning about duties, roles, justified risks, and what we're asking others to bear.

The episode lands on this: the Stoic answer is neither "follow your heart" nor "settle for whatever falls into your lap." Take your inclinations seriously without treating them as commands, bring them before a properly trained rational faculty, and pursue what is appropriate without making your happiness depend on how the world responds.

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How to find your own Stoic path Aug 10, 2026

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In this episode, I explore why there is not always a single answer to the question, “What would a Stoic do?” Stoicism gives us a shared ethical framework, but it also takes seriously the particular roles, relationships, capacities, dispositions, and circumstances of each individual.

I begin with the common search for “the Stoic position” on a given issue. Sometimes a general answer is appropriate, such as returning a lost wallet. But more complex situations, such as war, require us to consider what our particular roles and circumstances demand of us.

I turn to Epictetus and his discussion of preserving our proper character, or prosōpon, in Discourses 1.2. His examples of Agrippinus and another man facing the same pressure under Nero show how two people can reason well and still arrive at different actions because their characters, roles, and circumstances differ.

From there, I explain how to begin identifying your own path toward sagehood. Start with your roles: parent, employee, neighbour, citizen, friend, carer, and so on. Then consider your individual nature, including your dispositions, strengths, weaknesses, resources, limitations, and circumstances.

I also discuss Hierocles' circles of concern and the Stoic responsibility we all share toward the cosmopolis. Everyone has that responsibility, but nobody will fulfil it in exactly the same way.

The goal, then, is not to ask, “What would a sage do?” as though there were one universal answer waiting to be discovered. The better question is: “What would I do if I were the sage version of myself, given my roles, capacities, dispositions, circumstances, and context?”

Stoicism gives us the same philosophy to guide us, but the path toward sagehood is necessarily particular to each person.

New book announcement: Living Stoicism Aug 07, 2026

Show notes

Pre-order today to get the audiobook and the paperback upon release in December.

Pre-order here: https://livingstoicism.tannerocampbell.com

Cheers!

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