Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Latest Episodes:

#016 How to Like Your Daughter Again Mar 01, 2016

Show notes

How to Like Your Daughter Again comes from the sixth chapter in Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting with Your Teenage Daughter.

"Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with your teen?" "And what does that even look like?"

This is the million dollar question. You don't want to be your teen's best friend but you don't want to be her enemy either.

When you are in a daily battle with your daughter, it's easy to not like her very much. This is why so many moms believe they have to wait until she is older and out of the house to "like" her.

It doesn't have to be that way!

It is possible and crucial to have a healthy relationship with your teen. Even though your teen is depending on her friends more and developing her autonomy, a secure attachment with your teen matters significantly and can be her lifeline.

There are three elements that make a secure connection with your teen that I dive into in my book.

Being there for your teen.Being tuned in.Being responsive.In this episode we'll focus on the first element. You'll

learn how to be there for your teen, and how to get your teen to open up to you. (You'll also find out why your teenage daughter is like a cat:)

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#015 How to Reclaim Your "I Feel Good " Energy Feb 28, 2016

Show notes

Today's episode comes from the fifth chapter in my new award-winning book Dial Down the Drama.

It takes a lot of energy to protect, nurture, and guide your teenager. And this is only one facet of your life. This doesn't include the rest of your family, or your life.

Moms are good at pouring out their good energy to their family but typically we are not good at replenishing this energy.

It can feel selfish.

But if we don't intentionally recharge our lives it starts to show to everyone around you. Believe me everyone in your family knows when you are stressed or exhausted.

See our life is like a cup. We can only give what's in our cup. If are cup is full of joy, we pour out joy. If our cup is full of frustration we pour out frustration.

We can't give and give and give and give and not think that it will take a toll on our body and emotions. No one wins when you are exhausted.

If it's been awhile since you've laughed or enjoyed yourself, then you need to listen to this podcast.

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#014 Why Your Clarity Matters Feb 15, 2016

Show notes

This episode comes from the fourth chapter in my book Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting to Your Teenage Daughter---A Guide for Mothers Everywhere.

Today we are going to discuss why your clarity matters. Your clarity is huge. Without it you can't parent effectively or enjoy your life.

See your teenage daughter (or son) is clear about what they want. They may not be clear about when their history project is due but they are clear about what they want to do the next weekend.

Often we lose our clarity because we live our lives at 90 miles per hour. We may accomplish lots of things on our to-do lists, but we can end up in a huge fog.

What happens when foggy mom meets clear daughter. Well clarity trumps fog every time.

It's time to get on the road to clarity which starts with understanding how you lost it in the first place. Next you need to know where you are, (which takes courage and honesty) to get where you want to go.

This can be overwhelming for a lot of moms. You may feel like you have no idea what you want. Don't worry we can start small. I'll give you practical ways to tap into your clarity.

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#013 Why Moms and Daughters Can’t Get it Right All the Time Feb 08, 2016

Show notes

This podcast comes from the third chapter in Dial Down the Drama: Why Moms and Daughter's Can't Get it Right All the Time,which was published at the end of October 2015.

No mom or daughter can get it right all the time, but we feel the pressure to do so. This pressure drives us to do more and do it better. I call this the Pressure to be Perfect.

Not only do we feel this pressure, but your daughter feels this pressure too. She feels pressure to have the perfect hair, body, friends, boyfriend, and grades, even when she acts like she doesn't care.

This pressure is a setup for drama between you and your daughter. You want to get this parenting thing right and so your self esteem can be linked to how well your daughter is performing or behaving. If your daughter is doing well in school, you feel good about yourself as mom, if her grades drop, you feel like your making a D on your mom report card. Because your daughter is hard wired to be imperfect and actually the same applies for you, basing your self worth on how she is doing will take you on a stressful emotional roller coaster.

All of this craziness is driven by Powerless Parenting Messages. In this episode I look at replacing these with new messages that will empower instead of shame.

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#012 What Fear Does to You and Your Daughter Feb 01, 2016

Show notes

The podcast today comes from the second chapter of my upcoming book Dial Down the Drama. Today we are going to address fear and how this impacts you, your teen, and your parenting.

There are no shortage of things that we can worry about. Will your son or daughter turn out okay? Will they make it into college? Will they turn out to be successful adults? And many of you have heard the saying, "keep them alive to 25," well that's not very comforting either. And then their are all the teenage issues from getting pregnant, addictions, eating disorders, to fatal car accidents.

No wonder we can worry 24/7. The problem is that there is nothing productive with that kind of worrying. It robs you of enjoying your time with your teen and your life.

Most of what we worry about and are fearful of, will never happen. It's just our imagination torturing us.

The problem is that intense fear throws us into the stress response and compromises our ability to protect our son and daughter. You can literally be paralyzed with fear, or find yourself LOSING it with them when they come home ten minutes after curfew.

In this episode I give you a tool that helps your dismantle the "F" Bomb. ("F" = fear) This way you can excavate the truth from the fear and take effective action to protect and guide your teen.

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#011 Are You all Mothered Out Jan 21, 2016

Show notes

Are you feeling "All Mothered Out"?You are definitely not alone. This has become a cultural phenomenon for women.

In this podcast you will learn why so many moms feel "All Mothered Out" and how you can turn that around.

This is the first podcast in my Dial Down the Drama series. I can't believe it, but in less than three months my book, Dial Down the Drama: Reducing Conflict and Reconnecting to Your Teenage Daughter---A Guide for Mother's Everywherewill be published by Amacom. Because I can't wait to share it with you, I decided that each week I would give you a couple of takeaways from each chapter of my book.

I am also starting the Mom Question of the Week. On each podcast I will answer one question. If you are interested in me answering your question then you can leave me a comment here, email me at colleen@poweryourparenting.com, or go to my Facebook page at Colleen O'Grady:Power Your Parenting. I look forward to hearing from you.

I actually wrote a song called "All Mothered Out." It was great therapy---I'm sure you could have written your own verse. You can go to You Tube to hear my video or just click this link https://youtu.be/Rawxc9m3WZI.

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#010 Clothing Police or Style Icon Jan 18, 2016

Show notes

Does your daughter feel like you are the clothing police?

Well you are not the only one. This is definitely one of the hot topics for mothers and daughters. (and not in a good way.)

You give her constructive criticism. "That dress doesn't look good on you." You just want to protect her. "You can't go out wearing that shirt or that short skirt."

Your daughter doesn't see your good intentions and goes ballistic.

What she hears is "you think I'm fat," or "you think I'm ugly," or "you are trying to control me."

What is a mom to do?

To answer this question,I invited Catherine Cassidy to share her expertise.

Catherine Cassidy founded U*styled in 2008 to give professional women the tools to live their lives in style by curating a wardrobe they love that makes getting dressed each morning easy and effortless.

For Catherine, it's not just about style. It's about empowering women to step into their power using their style as a catalyst. She helps women define their style, integrate it into WHO they are and how they show up and then help them build a wardrobe they love that supports their personal and professional goals.

In this episode I ask Catherine these questions.

1. Brene Brown talks about the #1 shame issue for women and girls is body issues. Being a stylist how do you address this issue when helping women find their style. Would you approach teenage girls differently?

2. How would you work with a teenage girl? What can a mom do if her daughter is wearing something inappropriate?

3. What about mom's style...Her daughter doesn't want her dressing like a teenager but she also doesn't want to be embarrassed by what she wears.

In this podcast you will learn how to talk to your daughter about her clothing and style in an empowering way. You will be given practical tips on how to approach your daughter, what you should say, and what you should avoid saying.

You want to affirm your daughters beauty, build her self confidence, and empower your daughter to find her own style.

Catherine has a message for moms too. Learn what it means to be a Style Icon.

Learn more about Catherineand get her free gift How to Build A Wardrobe You Love!at www.Ustyled.com.

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#009 Could Your Teenager be Sexting Jan 04, 2016

Show notes

No parent wants to believe their middle school teen (or younger) is sexting. Maybe it's not your teen, but it's the teen culture. One thing that moms don't think about, is that your teen may not be an initiator of the sexting but could easily be the recipient. Sexting has become a huge cultural problem for teens. Here are some statistics from 2009 and the numbers are not getting any better.

The percent of teenagers sending or posting sexually suggestive messages: 39% of all teenagers, 37% of teen girls, 40% of teen boys48 Percent of teenagers say they have received such messages71 Percent of teen girls and 67% of teen guys who have sent or posted sexually suggestive content say they have sent or posted this content to a boyfriend or girlfriend.36 Percent of teen girls and 39 % of teen boys say it is common for nude or semi-nude photos to get shared with people other than the intended recipient.51 Percent of teen girls say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images; only 18 % of teen boys cited pressure from female counterparts as a reason.52 Percent of teenage girls used sexting as a “sexy present” for their boyfriend.34 Percent of teen girls say they sent or posted sexually suggestive content to “feel sexy.”12 Percent of teen girls felt “pressured” to send sexually suggestive messages or images.

In this episode I interview Benjamin Dancer. He is an Advisor at Jefferson County Open School where he has made a career out of mentoring young people as they come of age. He wrote the novel PATRIARCH RUN, a coming-of-age story. Benjamin writes about parenting and education. He is also a father of three.

Today we are going to talk about a very important issue that catches many parents unaware--sexting. Besides being the founder of Power Your Parenting, I have been in private practice as a marriage and family therapist for over 20 years. I have worked with many teen issues over the past two decades. By far the biggest issue I have dealt with this year is the devastating consequences of sexting. Many of these clients were girls in middle school, who because of pressure, naiveness, and an undeveloped prefrontal cortex, ended up sending semi-nude pictures to boys who forwarded them throughout the community. This is every mothers worst fear.

My hope is that this podcast will help moms become educated and aware, so they can educate and empower their teens to say no to sexting. Benjamin and I talk about when we were teens we made lots of mistakes. The problem in this culture, is that a mistake like sexting leaves a permanent record in the digital world.

Here are some questions we address.

At what age does sexting become an issue?What moms need to know about sexting.What can moms do to prevent and protect their teen from sexting?How do you talk to your teen about sexting?What should parents do if they suspect their son or daughter is sexting? *** If your teen has been shamed or humiliated because of texting there is a lot you can do. You can help your teen get on the other side of this.The girls I have worked with were able to learn big lessons from this experience and come out wiser, stronger, and with a greater confidence.

Contact Benjamin Dancer at Website:BenjaminDancer.com Blog:http://www.benjamindancer.com/Blog/

You can download SEXTING AT SCHOOL for free at Goodreads or if you're feeling generous you can buy it for $0.99 at Amazon.

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#008 Finding Hormone Harmony: When Middle School meets Midlife Dec 21, 2015

Show notes

Not only is your teen impacted by hormones, so are many perimenopausal moms. In this episode I interview Dr. Anna Garrett who has been a clinical pharmacist for over 20 years. The goal of her business is to help women who are in the middle of midlife transition.

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#007 Drugs, Alcohol and the Teenage Brain: What Moms Need to Know Dec 20, 2015

Show notes

Your son or daughter is swimming in a teen culture of drugs and alcohol. Because of this you can't help but worry.

Today my dear friend Julia Wolf answers your questions about the impact of drugs and alcohol on your teen. Julia is a seasoned Licensed MFT and has a thriving private practice in the Houston area. Julia was the Director of Community and Behavioral Health at the Houston Council of Alcohol and Drug Abuse.

"So what's the big deal if my teen drinks wine and beer with her friends. They all do it."

First Julia and I discuss how alcohol and drugs affects the teenage brain. The teenage brain is vulnerable to outside toxins of alcohol and drugs. This is because the teen brain is under construction just like a house with no roof. Because of this teens are more at risk for addiction especially when you throw in the undeveloped prefrontal cortex. Binge drinking and drug abuse are more than a moral issue, it is a brain issue.

In this episode we discussed these questions. How does alcohol or drugs put your teen at risk? How can parents know if their teen is using? What are the warning signs? What do you do if you suspect your teen is abusing alcohol or drugs?

The good news is that there is lots of support for moms and teens. One of the most important things you can do is stay connected to your teen. You want to be able to have honest and real conversations with your teen about the risks of alcohol and drugs. Most importantly you want to be your teens safe haven and take action when needed.

Current research has shown that a healthy attachment between parent and teen reduces the risk of addiction. That's one of the reasons I created the Power Your Parenting program. It gives you practical ways to reconnect with your teen and open up the communication. You really can turn your relationship with your teen around. If your interested in learning more about the Power Your Parentiing program contact me.

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