Plumbing the Death Star

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Why does Superman find Lois Attractive? Oct 13, 2014

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In which our heroes crash land on earth, get corporate, call themselves Clarke and act like a bunch of Kents while wondering why Superman find Lois Lane Attractive. We look at Kryptonian evolution, make an effort to get our heads around genetic attraction, attempt to rationalise forming an emotional emotional connection with an alien and struggle to imagine making love with a chimp.Jackson is obsessed with Superman’s butthole, Zammit is more interested in Superman’s penis and Duscher just wants to be the first astronaut to die of mustard gas poisoning. It’s an interspecies intergalactic interplanetary erotic journey as we do our best to answer the age old question of nature vs nurture.Want to help research the logic of Kryptonian buttholes? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in locating the bastard.
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Why was the Matrix Programmed Poorly? Oct 06, 2014

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In which our heroes plug ourselves back in to the Matrix, order a steak, bend all the restaurant’s cutlery and wonder why this computer simulation was programmed to have poverty. We look at the often mysterious and counter productive choices taken by our robot overlords, the final destination of the planets cows, and the potential eroticism of jackholes. Jackson wonders what the robots want with all our hair, Zammit proclaims he’d sell out Neo in a heartbeat to the surprise of absolutely no one and Duscher just wants to keep answering his own questions. It's a slow motion rooftop rumble where we answer the ringing pay phone, unplug, and find the red pill a little too hard to swallow.Want to help us feed the virtual poor? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in virtual lives of starving children.
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Is Obi-Wan Kenobi Incompetent? Sep 29, 2014

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In which our heroes are orphaned on a desert planet, find a laser sword and boldly follow a strange old man on a misguided, ill-informed and incompetent journey into space. It's all things Obi-Wan as we look at his master plan of hiding Luke on Darth Vader’s home planet with Darth Vader’s last name with Darth Vader’s relatives in a house Darth Vader has definitely visited. Jackson proposes that Obi-Wan used up all his favours hiding Leia, Zammit questions how Hutts became the supreme rulers of the Outer Rim and Duscher just wants to know what Kit Fisto is up to these days. Join us in galaxy far, far away as we watch Obi-Wan give up and let Yoda deal with the consequences.Want to help Lord Vader get enough credits to find his missing kids? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the lonely dad’s life. Long live the Empire.
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Why is Hyrule so Easy to Conquer? Sep 22, 2014

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In which our heroes put on some green tights, shove a firefly into a jar and go off in search of a princess while wondering why Hyrule is so easy to conquer. We look at the often overlooked issue of segregation plaguing Hyrule, the problems with Zelda’s prophetic dreams and how much the kingdom gets dunked time and time again. Jackson proposes a unified government to fix the problem, Zammit has a strange urge to be on team Ganondorf and Duscher just wants to make Goron sounds. It’s a hack and slash through some murky dungeons without a compass, map or a boss key as we all uncover Link’s true purpose in helping Hyrule from Ganon.
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Why Does James Bond Still Have a Job? Sep 15, 2014

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In which our heroes drink on the job, hit on anyone and yell at everyone that we’re super secret spies while wondering why James Bond still has a job. Duscher claims he could be more successful as Jerry Steven: asexual and dressed for comfort, Jackson tries to stop him every step of the way as the Nefarious Dr Yang, the racial stereotype villain who wants to fuck the moon and Zammit is one half of the engineering duo, Q & R, tasked with fixing a chaffing problem. Jerry Steven, with his signature drink of stirred glass of water, fumbles his way through Dr Yang’s poorly designed base of operations and proves while he’s not the best secret agent, Dr Yang is an even worse villain.
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Is Doc Brown an Idiot? Sep 08, 2014

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In which our heroes wonder why anyone with a time machine would be in such a hurry and start to realise that Doc Brown may be an idiot. We look at his plans and notice that they’re never thought out, he’s constantly wrong about the time stream and goes to great lengths to ensure the McFlys benefit and the Tannens have a shit one. Jackson wants to know why Doc keeps bringing Jennifer on time adventures just to knock her out and put her in some trash, Zammit argues that Marty Jr going to jail might not be so bad and Duscher just wants to know what happened to the terrorists. It’s a dark climb as we uncover the secret shame of the Tannen family tree and wonder why people keep shitting in their cars.
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Why Did God Make Bruce Almighty? Sep 01, 2014

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In which our heroes look at Bruce Nolan’s life and wonder why God made him Almighty. We explore Bruce’s first act as good as he cause a municipal water problem, sexually harass a young woman and flat out steal from an upscale clothing store before committing anal based monkey assault on an hispanic youth leader. Twice. Jackson is horrified by the blatant abuse of power, Zammit has his own theory involving Morgan Freeman eating a God brain and Duscher just wants to punch a meteor and die a hero. It’s pure bafflement as we try to understand how God could let most of South East Asia be washed away and several star systems go super nova on the whim of a horny man.
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Would Batman's Parents be Proud of him? Aug 25, 2014

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In which our heroes see how deep Bruce Wayne’s daddy issues really go. We take a close look at Batman’s life through the lens of his parents as we try to see if they would be proud of their baby boy. Revolutionary medical braces are kept behind locked doors as Batman is revealed to be the king of loopholes. Zammit can’t comprehend how a parent could be impressed of their son for faking their own death, Jackson argues that Thomas Wayne would rather the Penguin as a protege and Duscher just wants to know where the bill for the bat credit card goes. Join us for bad Michael Cain impressions, Martha Wayne chiding Bruce for not being Superman and Thomas Wayne as the saddest Riddler you’ll ever see.
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What are the Consequences of Mario Kart? Aug 18, 2014

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In which our heroes slip on a banana peel and blue shell themselves. It’s Mario’s reign of terror as we try to work out the logistics of organising a go-kart race with your nemesis, your girlfriend who keeps getting kidnapped under your watch, a living fungus and an actual, wild gorilla to name a few. Jackson looks at things from the perspective of a goomba, Duscher brings forth Mario’s clear agreement with Bowser to terrorise his friends every time they have a party and Zammit marvels at Mario’s diabolic genius of making his friends compete to join him on his next adventure. It’s a brightly coloured Mario themed Hunger Games as everyone spends far too much time doing terrible impressions of video game characters.
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Why Does Skynet Even Try? Aug 11, 2014

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In which our heroes come with you because they want to live. We look at all of Skynet’s ill-conceived schemes and wonder if they’re even trying. It’s a verbal journey as we explore the numerous options our future overlords had of taking out John Connor from mustard gas in the future, sending giant skin tanks to the present or just killing the bloodline in the far past. Zammit sells humanity out the first chance he gets to join team robot, Jackson has a watery solution for us to co-exists, at least for a little while, and Duscher gets far too confused and angry about time-travel. Skynet just need to get over their hate boner for John Connor, hunker down and focus on their robopocalypse end game.
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