Plumbing the Death Star

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Why Do Siths Take Apprentices? Mar 02, 2015

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In which our heroes succumb to the Dark Side, give into our anger and with each passing moment make ourselves more our master’s servant and almost immediately start plotting to overthrow him, which makes us wonder why do Siths even take apprentices. We discuss the Sith's lack of foresight, Anakin’s poor grasp of the English language, and Yoda's unfortunate swamp brain. Jackson needs all Star Wars explained through the Karate Kid, Zammit can't pronounce anything right, and Duscher just wishes he wasn't so sick. So join us as we decide to train up too many apprentices, go outside and check the force-tank, keep a weary eye on the outer rim and try not to get a lightsaber in our dicks.Want to help train the next generations of Sith? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in their dark side infused lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty six books about learning a skilled trade.
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Why is Hawkeye in the Avengers? (Feat. Mr Sunday Movies) Feb 23, 2015

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In which our heroes stand next to a literal god, cower behind a green behemoth and get inspired by the embodiment of the best of humanity while wondering why is Hawkeye in the Avengers? We try to figure out S.H.I.E.L.D's hiring policies, discuss a comic book PSA about bullying, and get all flustered thinking about Captain America. Jackson attempts to put together an All Olympic Avengers Initiative, Zammit wants to see Hawkeye become the new Spider-Man, Mr Sunday Movies points out Hawkeye the ineffectiveness of bows as a weapon, and Duscher just feels that Clint should go back to being a pretty good athlete. So let's all get together in the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier, try to be sympathetic and fire Hawkeye in the nicest way possible.Want to help Clint win gold in the Rio Olympics? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in this misguided archers life.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fourteen books about archery and three dealing with workplace bullying.
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The Pros and Cons of Dating Monsters Feb 16, 2015

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In which our heroes get seduced by Dracula, go for a long walk by the swamp with the Gilman and enjoy a moonlit picnic with the Wolfman while we wonder which Hammer Movie Monster would make the best boyfriend. We discuss the issues with sleeping next to a man who is more hair than man and weigh up the pros and cons of having an undead boyfriend who's been around for a millennia or an undead boyfriend who lives in the last century. Jackson finds himself less and less attracted to Wolfman as the episode goes on, Zammit wants a man who can become bats, and Duscher just desperately tries to find something good about the Mummy. So join the lads on their European Summer of Monster Love, as they try to forget about their high school boyfriend Chad by dating their way through castles, swamps and pyramids to find the perfect man.Want to help fund our mythical meet ups? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us find true monster love.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably fourteen books on finding Mr Right and two for finding Mr You’ll Do.
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Is the Penguin the True Hero of Gotham? Feb 09, 2015

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In which our heroes take the monorail down to the seedy underbelly of Gotham, pay their respects at Crime Alley and watch Batman straight up clock a guy all the while wondering who exactly is the true hero of Gotham? Jackson derails the whole episode by stating that it’s the Penguin, Zammit encourages him and Duscher just doesn’t put up with any of his bullshit. We discuss: the hassle that would be working for the riddler, the definition of integrity, and Superman's evident disdain for Gotham. So strap a bomb to a penguin, stay away from the water supply and join the battle for Gotham supremacy as seen through the incredibly biased eyes of Jackson. Someone’s nose is gonna get bit off and it’s probably ours.Want to help fund Penguins retirement scheme? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our henchman lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably seven books on penguin rearing.
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Who's the Best Disney Business Princess? Feb 02, 2015

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In which our heroes gather our finances, register our ABN and completely ignore any and all tax obligations as we try and decipher which Disney Princess would be the best to open a business with. We wonder how quickly snowmen would ask for a Union, try and decide the price of hot fruit, and lead some poachers to the Pridelands. Jackson confuses a mother with a daughter, Zammit treats magic like a mutant power, and Duscher just wishes he could help out the Princess of Agrabah without it ending in a citywide manhunt. It's a magical, song filled, venture into the world of business, where finding your one true love comes a second to making profit for the year.Want to help with the initial start up? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us run a semi-functional business..And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least a book about opening up a business in a magical kingdom.
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How Does Thor Get a Haircut? Jan 26, 2015

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In which our heroes sit down in the barbers chair, ask for braids and open an old copy of Journey into Mystery as we question how Thor gets his hair cut. We discuss Lex Luther’s hair envy, Ben Grim's little shorts and the all encompassing power of the Z-Men. Jackson gifts everyone with brilliant but irrelevant powers, Zammit is a fan of the sneaky mullet, and Duscher just wishes everyone would listen to his side-podcast: 'Naming Things.’ It’s an uncomfortable walk down the superhero runway as we all end up in bright lycra, fighting crime with our unmentionables clearly visible for all to see.Want to help us afford a pair of adamantium scissors? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us cut Thor’s goddamn hair.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least six books about Superhuman hairstyles from the 80s all featuring Longshot.
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How is Everyone Ok with the Truman Show? Jan 19, 2015

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In which our heroes turn on the Truman Show watch him awkwardly navigate through puberty, strain through his first haemorrhoid and mourn the fake death of his fake father all the while wondering how everyone is okay with this. We discuss the 50% chance of Truman wanting to Batman water, the secret Mole-People living under the Truman set, and the Media saturation implied by a TV show watched by the world. Jackson thinks he'd get bored and watch re-runs of Seinfeld instead, Zammit is in favour of Kristof introducing an actual boogie-monster, and Duscher believes masturbation is learned behaviour. We learn a lot about ourselves this episode, none of it good.Want to help Truman be true to himself and become a free man? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help Andrew Niccol come up with even more heavy handed and blatant symbolism.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least three books about symbolism in films, at least no one has called a character Chris Treborn. What was that Butterfly Effect? Hm.
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When Does Sentience Begin in Toy Story? Jan 12, 2015

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In which our heroes open up their toy box, regress to their early days and are filled with childlike wonder as they discuss the sentience level in Toy Story. We look at the existential moment toys realise what they are, whether or not falling over is learned behaviour and just how many seemingly inanimate objects are internally screaming. Jackson wonders how sex toys cope, Zammit worries for toys filled with cigarettes and Duscher just wants to keep asking questions. It's a harrowing journey from the assembly line to the attic, then to infinity and on to the beyond and/or a garbage incinerator.Want to help us buy even more toys to neglect? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our attic space.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least one book about toys.
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Midi-Chlorian Testing and You Jan 05, 2015

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In which our heroes line up, hold out their wrists, and let a bunch of Jedi check their blood as we ask why isn't midi-chlorian testing mandatory. We look at the dangers of mid-chlorian filled moss, the potential of Jedi blood transfusions and the seemingly unnecessary rules surrounding Sith numbers. Jackson discovers he has only seven midi-chlorians, Zammit is pretty sure the Jedi are a cult, and Duscher just wants to be the one to bring balance to the force. So join the gang as they traverse a galaxy far, far away and hope they don’t end up drinking Hutt blood. It's sentient, it’s all powerful and for some reason it lives in your bloodstream. Be concerned.To help us screen for midi-chlorians head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference in our force sensitive lives.
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Joel Duscher's Christmas Miracles Dec 29, 2014

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In which our heroes don’t turn up to the studio, leave Duscher by himself, take a week off and lazily upload something from our past. We laugh, we cry, we avoid looking at Duscher directly in the face and wonder how we ever piece an episode together. Jackson just wants everyone to know where incest falls on the awful scale, Zammit patiently waits it out and Duscher just wants to get the intro right. It’s a supercut of every time Duscher fucks up introducing the show, but on the plus side it gets him to that right level of anger. So join the gang as we look back at our first season and come to the realisation that we aren’t very professional. Merry Christmas.To help us buy elocution lessons for Duscher head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference in us getting the job done quicker.
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