Personal Mastery with Jerry Henderson

Latest Episodes:

How to Practice Radical Self-Kindness May 20, 2024

Show notes

Can radical self kindness be the key to your healing journey and if so, how do we practice it?
In this episode, we celebrate one year of the Permission to Love podcast as well as discuss the practice of radical self-kindness, exploring why it's crucial for healing and self-love.
Thank you for being a part of this podcast for the last year. This podcast would not be possible without you the listeners.
I am so grateful that you’re here and are a part of this community. I look forward to another year of going on this journey with you as we discover how to heal our relationship with ourselves by giving ourselves the permission to love ourselves.
In this episode we discuss how self-kindness can rewire our nervous system, counteract self-abuse, and promote genuine self-compassion. This episode is filled with personal anecdotes, practical exercises, and thought-provoking insights to help you embark on your journey towards radical self-kindness.
Key Points:
1. Introduction to Radical Self-Kindness:
* Radical self-kindness as an essential practice for healing and transformation.
* The role of self-kindness in rewiring the nervous system and transforming shame.
2. The Impact of Self-Abuse:
* How years of self-criticism and harsh judgment wreak havoc on our well-being.
* The necessity of replacing self-abuse with self-kindness as an expression of self-love.
3. Personal Journey:
* My personal experiences with resistance to self-kindness.
* My journey of understanding that punishment is not corrective and that it is love and kindness that are the true corrective forces.
4. Overcoming Resistance to Self-Kindness:
* Common objections to self-kindness and addressing feelings of unworthiness.
* Challenging the belief that one’s mistakes or flaws make them undeserving of kindness.
5. Healing Through Kindness:
* How self-kindness helps us relax in our own presence and fosters self-acceptance.
* The importance of creating a safe environment for self-examination and healing.
6. Practical Steps to Practice Radical Self-Kindness:
* Journaling and self-inquiry to understand when and why we are unkind to ourselves.
* Replacing unkind behaviors with kind actions and supportive self-talk.
* Treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding one would offer a friend.
7. The Healing Process:
* The transformative power of meeting oneself with love and understanding.
* Visualization exercises to heal the inner child and provide corrective experiences.
Practical Exercise:
* Self-Examination:
* Identify moments when you are prone to self-criticism.
* Recognize the behaviors you exhibit towards yourself during these times.
* Replace unkind actions with positive, kind behaviors and supportive self-talk.
* Visualize yourself as a child and offer the kindness and love you needed then.
00:00 - Introduction to the Episode
01:39 - Celebrating One Year of the Podcast: Reflections and Intentions
02:41 - The Journey of Healing and Transformation
04:40 - Gratitude to Listeners and the Impact of Community
05:30 - The Global Impact of Personal Healing
07:00 - One-Year Anniversary Reflections and Community Engagement
09:51 - The Power of Radical Self-Kindness
11:11 - Overcoming Self-Judgment and Embracing Kindness
12:56 - Addressing Self-Criticism and the Merit of Kindness
14:10 - Radical Self-Kindness: A Deep Dive
15:44 - The Effects of Self-Kindness on Personal Well-Being
17:34 - Understanding Triggers and Safe Self-Exploration

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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Is Forgiveness Necessary For Healing? May 13, 2024

Show notes

Do I have to forgive someone in order to heal? I get that question a lot.
In this episode I hope to provide some answers to that question as well as others.
When we understand that forgiving someone is about us and not about the other person our entire perspective on the subject of forgiveness will dramatically shift.
Forgiveness is ultimately about us and the choice is always ours. It ultimately is about releasing energy from our system and freeing ourselves from that energy that is only harming us.
0:00 - Introduction to Forgiveness in Healing
4:02 - The Consequences of Unforgiveness
5:02 - How Unforgiveness Traps Us Emotionally and Physically
6:11 - Understanding Why We Resist Forgiveness
6:45 - Common Reasons for Holding Onto Unforgiveness
7:37 - Misconceptions and False Empowerment in Unforgiveness
8:57 - Unforgiveness as a Defense Mechanism
9:24 - Holding Grudges Against Those Who Have Passed
10:13 - The Dilemma of Forgiving to Honor Pain
11:28 - What Forgiveness Is Not: Dispelling Myths
13:41 - The Pressure and Misunderstanding Around Forced Forgiveness
14:13 - Forgiveness and People-Pleasing in Toxic Relationships
15:33 - Clarifying What True Forgiveness Entails
16:24 - Forgiveness as Personal Healing and Release
17:47 - Practical Steps Towards Genuine Forgiveness
18:49 - Making the Decision to Forgive and Its Impact
20:17 - Exploring the Benefits of Choosing Forgiveness
21:13 - Shifting Perspectives on Forgiveness
22:19 - The Importance of Intention in Forgiveness
23:30 - Letting Go of Emotional Baggage Through Forgiveness
24:33 - Healing the Original Wound to Enable Forgiveness
25:09 - Implementing Forgiveness in Daily Life
26:12 - The Ongoing Practice and Rewards of Forgiveness

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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How to Grieve What Trauma Stole From You May 06, 2024

Show notes

Have you ever stood in the shadow of your own unmet potential, feeling the weight of the person you might have been if ltrauma hadn't left its mark?
This is a reality many face, and in our latest podcast episode, we journey into the process of grieving what trauma stole from us as a way to journey into deeper healing.
Together, we confront the raw emotions of anger and rage that emerge from the unnamed sorrow we carry.
We look at practical writing exercises that can be powerful tools for recovery. We will examine how to craft letters that articulate the deep-seated grief of what we might have become without the trauma we experienced.
We also celebrate who we are today and learn how to see the beautiful qualities about who you are now.
Yes trauma stole so much from so many of us and we need to grieve that. And as we grieve we can also learn to see, fully love, and accept who we are now. And it is from that place that we can start walking into the all the beauty right now in this present moment.
0:00 - Introduction: The Impact of Unresolved Grief
0:59 - The Concept of Grieving Potential Selves
3:55 - Healthy Grieving vs. Staying Stuck in the Past
4:39 - Understanding and Initiating the Grieving Process
5:36 - The Dual Nature of Grief: What Wasn't Given and What Was Taken
6:26 - Exploring the Five Stages of Grief Related to Lost Potential
7:57 - Practical Steps to Grieve Who You Might Have Become
8:51 - Exercise: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self
10:12 - Exercise: Writing a Letter to Your Present Self
12:02 - Moving Towards Acceptance and Letting Go
13:28 - Celebrating the Person You Are Today
14:20 - Final Exercise: Recognizing Your Current Strengths and Qualities

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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How Being Present Helps Us Heal Apr 29, 2024

Show notes

In this episode we discuss how to discover the transformative power of the present moment to heal your relationship with yourself and how being present can help heal your nervous system.

Whether you struggle with being present, feel overwhelmed by life's demands, or seek escape through distractions, this episode is tailored to guide you towards profound self-healing and acceptance.

What You'll Learn:

The Importance of Presence: Understand why embracing the present is crucial for healing and how avoiding it can hinder your progress.
Why we avoid being present: Why it is important for us to understand how not being present is serving us.
The Benefits of Being Present: Three Ways Being Present Helps Heal Our Nervous System
Acceptance Techniques: Explore methods to foster self-love and accept your true self, by being present.
Mindfulness Practices: Simple, actionable strategies to enhance mindfulness and maintain presence in everyday life.

I know how transformational the practice of being present has been for me. I hope you find the same benefit in practicing being present as a part of your healing journey.

0:00 - Introduction to the Healing Power of Presence
1:31 - The Impact of Being Present on Self-Healing
5:17 - Why We Avoid Being Present and Its Consequences
6:01 - The Three Primary Reasons We Avoid Ourselves
6:40 - The Negative Effects of Avoiding Presence
7:29 - What Does Being Present Mean?
8:28 - The Present Moment as the Only True Moment
9:29 - The Immediate Benefits of Practicing Presence
10:16 - Techniques for Becoming Present in Daily Life
11:32 - How Being Present Transforms Our Emotional Health
12:09 - The Role of Observation in Healing
12:35 - Breaking the Cycle of Negative Self-Talk
13:39 - Calming the Nervous System Through Presence
14:05 - Overcoming the Initial Challenges of Being Present
15:07 - The Question That Can Bring You to the Present
15:54 - Recognizing Safety in the Present Moment
16:38 - The Healing Break Provided by Presence
17:41 - Disconnecting from Past and Future to Embrace Now
18:44 - Teaching the Nervous System to Recognize Current Safety
19:40 - Gaining Perspective and Making Rational Choices Through Presence
21:04 - How Presence Clarifies Feelings and Decisions
22:15 - Investigating the Root Causes of Our Reactions
23:05 - Connecting with the Authentic Self Through Presence
24:08 - Discovering the Authentic Self and Its Needs
25:28 - Embracing True Self-Acceptance
26:29 - Challenges and Benefits of Practicing Presence
28:07 - Simple Practices to Enhance Presence in Everyday Life
29:09 - Additional Tips for Staying Present

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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How to Accept AND Change Yourself: Chasing Normal Apr 22, 2024

Show notes

There is a place where you can fully accept yourself and have your self-development/self-improvement come from the place of self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is a much more healthy and powerful energy to come from as we work to improve ourselves.
Have you ever struggled with being on a never ending treadmill of self-development. Would you like to learn how to accept yourself while you are also practicing self-development? If so then this episode can be a great resource for you.
In this episode, we explore the dynamic between self-acceptance and self-development. We discuss how embracing our current selves does not preclude growth and improvement.
This episode contains helpful insights, personal reflections, and practical advice aimed at helping you cultivate a healthy balance between accepting who you are and striving for personal growth.
What you will learn:

The definition and importance of self-acceptance and how it differs from complacency.
The positive aspects of self-development and how to pursue growth without self-judgment.
Practical strategies for cultivating a life-giving approach to personal development.
How to recognize when self-improvement efforts might be causing more harm than good.

0:00 - Introduction to Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Development
0:06 - Are You Chasing a "Better" Version of Yourself?
3:11 - The Never-Ending Treadmill of Self-Improvement
4:36 - Understanding the Value of Self-Development
5:59 - Balancing Self-Acceptance with the Desire to Improve
6:51 - Exploring Radical Self-Acceptance
9:06 - Why Accepting Current Realities is Crucial
10:30 - The Role of Self-Acceptance in Personal Growth
13:05 - The Continuous Journey of Self-Acceptance
14:48 - Signs that Self-Development Might Be Going Awry
17:38 - The Trap of External Validation in Self-Improvement
20:02 - The Importance of Being Present and Self-Acceptant
22:12 - Why There is No Final Destination in Growth
24:28 - How Future Self-Perception Influences Current Self-Acceptance
25:35 - Practical Tips for Healthy Self-Improvement
29:45 - Setting Realistic Goals in Self-Development
31:17 - Free Resources

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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How to Stop Feeling Like You Need to “Fix Yourself": Chasing Normal Apr 15, 2024

Show notes

Do you always feel like you need to fix yourself? Do you feel like there is something wrong with you, and if you just keep working on yourself, then you will finally feel "normal" and be able to accept yourself?
The feeling that we need to fix ourselves is often a response to trauma and something we developed as a way to stay safe. In response to the painful things we were experiencing, we began to believe that if we could find something about ourselves to "fix," we could then prevent the abuse or pain. The challenge is that this feeling that we need to fix ourselves got wired into our systems, and now we struggle to let go of it.
In this episode, I share how you can finally get FREE from the feeling that you need to fix yourself.
As you listen to this episode, you will discover:
1. Why you always feel like you need to fix yourself.
2. Trauma and its impact on feeling like there is something wrong with us that needs to be fixed.
3. Why trying to fix yourself for others never works.
4. Why trying to fix yourself is an illusion.
5. How to let go of trying to fix yourself.
6. How to see the beautiful person you are right now.
7. A simple mindfulness exercise to let go of the belief you need to be fixed.
I hope this episode helps you in your healing journey and opens your eyes to see how you have never been a problem that needs to be fixed.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
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There is Nothing Wrong With You: Chasing Normal Apr 08, 2024

Show notes

Have you ever felt like you are chasing after trying to be normal? Do you carry a nagging feeling that there is something wrong with you? Are you always looking for something in your life that needs to be fixed?
I carried that feeling for over 40 years, and in this episode, I share how I got rid of those thoughts and feelings.
This episode is the first of three episodes on the topic of "chasing normal."
In this first episode, I start the series by helping you understand that nothing is wrong with you. I know you often feel like there is, but the truth is that there has never been anything wrong with you.
In this episode, we will look at the following:
1. How trauma is the origin of that feeling
2. How that feeling has tried to keep us safe.
3. How you can let go of that feeling
4. An exercise to practice for ongoing healing
I hope by the end of this episode; you will see that there has never been anything wrong with you and can begin to see the beautiful person that you are right now!

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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How to Treat Yourself Better! Apr 01, 2024

Show notes

Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship that you have. Why? Because your relationship with yourself is determines everything else in your life.

When was the last time you asked yourself how your relationship with yourself was going? How long has it been since you took an honest look at how you are treating yourself?

This episode and the companion self-reflection tool is designed to help you do exactly that. I invite you to take time over the next 30 days to reflect on the five key indicators of a healthy self-relationship.

How you think about yourself
How you feel about yourself
How you talk about/to yourself
How you act toward yourself
How you allow others to treat you

This episode and the self-reflection tool is designed to help you become aware of how you are treating yourself in each of the five areas and then begin healing that part of your relationship with yourself.

At the end of each week, you will have the opportunity to reflect on lessons learned, areas that need improvement, and adjustments you might need to make to your “one thing” goals.

By the end of the 30 days, you will have gained new insights into your relationship with yourself and clarity on what you need to do to have a healthier relationship with yourself.

You can have the life you want, and it starts with healing your relationship with yourself. I am excited for you and cheering you on as you go on this journey.

I am grateful you are here,

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
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Website:
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Is Anger a Sign of Healing? Mar 25, 2024

Show notes

Anger is often one of the first emotions we feel as we begin to heal. It can also be a sign that we are healing.

Giving ourselves permission to be angry and to feel anger is an important part of the healing process.

In this episode, we discuss the following:

How to keep from shaming yourself for feeling anger
Why we shouldn’t suppress our anger
How we might experience anger
How many of us respond when we feel anger
How can we listen to our anger and understand what it is trying to tell us?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Feel free to reach out to me at jerry@jerryhenderson.org or on Instagram @jerryahenderson.

I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
COMPLEMENTARY STRATEGY CALL:
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Can Self-Love Heal Your Faith? Mar 18, 2024

Show notes

Do you struggle with feelings of shame as a person of faith?
Do you feel like you are always trying to please God and that God sees you as sinful and shameful?
Has the focus of your faith journey been on how much you are falling short?
If you do, you are not alone. I carried those feelings for over four decades. I was confused about why my faith in God wasn't "fixing" me.

I found my answers and healing in the last place I would have thought to look: learning to love myself.

In this episode, you will discover the following: