Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Latest Episodes:

BONUS: God’s Word Oct 14, 2024

Show notes

“But Jesus told him, 'No! The Scriptures say, "People do not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God"’” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

Reading the Bible and memorizing scripture matters because it is one way we can fight the battles in our own lives—both big and small. Scripture can help our kids (and us!) feel confident in our God-given identity, face a life crisis, and everything in between. Knowing God’s word also develops our faith and brings us closer to God. Every bit of scripture is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12), God-breathed, and teaches us to live righteously (2 Timothy 3:16).

The more we know God’s word and keep it in our hearts, the more we understand God’s heart and his ways, aligning our wills to his. The word of God protects us from the desire to do it all by ourselves and replaces that desire with the desire to let God direct our paths. God loves us too much to leave us to our own devices. He reveals truth to us through his word so that the desires of our hearts become more like his!

So this week, let’s pray that our kids will know the word of God and lean on it to guide them in every area of their lives.

Father God, I pray that ____________ grows to learn your word, love your word, and see it as holy and infallible. May they love the Bible and read it daily with the goal of knowing your heart more and more. May they rely on your word to direct their paths. Remind them to hide your word in their hearts so they can use it to fight any battle they face—now and in the future. Amen.

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Broken trust & healing tough relationships with Lysa TerKeurst Oct 10, 2024

Show notes

It’s an absolute delight to have my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst on the podcast today. Lysa has been sharing her deepest struggles through writing books, devotionals and bible studies for decades. She has a beautiful way combining biblical truth and heartfelt empathy that makes us all feel less alone.

In today’s episode, we discuss TRUST and DISTRUST. She shares that when you starve a relationship from trust - it’s like not giving a human air to breathe. I can imagine that many of you are working through some trust issues - we all are. Whether it’s a broken friendship or marriage or a strained relationship with a family member or dear friend. It can be really hard to manage the healing and repairing process for yourself and even more difficult when it involves your children.

One of my favorite parts is when she talks about the importance of healing in a community. She shares how natural it can be to isolate when you’re hurt - but trust rebuilds in community. I am praying this episode touches a tender topic with such encouragement and practical help.

In this episode we discuss:

Why trust is crucial to all human relationships
How to manage broken hearts and relationships while raising kids
How to move towards healing with resilience

Enjoy!

Courtney

00:00

Practical Wisdom and Biblical Truth: A Conversation on Trust and Distrust

03:16

The Impact of Broken Trust: Emotional Abuse and Betrayal Trauma

15:24

Triggers and Discernment: Patterns of Behavior and Self-Exploration

32:55

Resilience and Healing: Overcoming Broken Trust

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

LysaTerKeurst.com

I Want To Trust You, But I Can’t - Lysa’s newest book

Dr Amen and Lysa - her brain scan

EMDR Therapy

WOW - root cover up

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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BONUS: The Power of Prayer Oct 07, 2024

Show notes

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us” (1 John 5:14)

One amazing way our kids can know more about God is through prayer. The practice of prayer involves talking to God and listening to God. We tend to be better at the talking part because, with the busyness of our lives, it can be a real challenge to slow ourselves down and listen to God! But we can’t hear a whisper when we’re running. As parents, our role is to help guide our kids into a mature faith where they can quiet themselves enough to hear God’s voice.

Prayer should not be an afterthought in our minds. Going to God and conversing with him should be our first thought when we start a new day, face a dilemma, or experience something great! We know prayer changes things. Prayer transforms hearts, renews minds, and gives us peace that passes all understanding. We need to remember that promise because God, who wants to talk with us, will answer every prayer. It might just look different than we expect – sometimes “no” is an answer and other times we won’t understand how he answered a prayer until much later, or even heaven.

So this week let’s pray that our kids stand in confidence, knowing that God always hears them and wants to talk with them.

Lord, may ______________ make prayer a priority in their schedule. When something happens, may their first instinct be to talk to you about it, not anybody else. I pray they learn to hear your voice, submit to your will, and deepen their relationship with you through prayer. Give them an eternal perspective, knowing that all their prayers may not be answered in the way they envision, but they will be answered in your perfect way. May they grow to be a mighty prayer warrior, confident in the transforming power of prayer. Amen.

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I feel far from God with Jeannie Cunnion Oct 03, 2024

Show notes

Do you ever feel far from God? This week, we get to dive into a crucial conversation with Jeannie Cunnion. She helps us unpack this very common feeling amongst believers. She has so much encouragement around why God desires us to get closer and closer. And then, she also gives us practical ways we can grow closer to God.

There isn’t a finish line for growing closer to God. We are all on our own journey with God. It’s personal and it takes time and it’s never-ending. However, we so often compare ourselves to other Christians in our lives. We believe others have arrived spiritually and we are behind. I am praying this chat gives you assurance and comfort in your own journey - no matter where you are in this season.

My favorite part is when we talk about “effort” vs “earn.” Sometimes, we confuse our effort to grow with the desire to earn something. The truth is that we can take steps to get to know God more without getting stuck in the lie that we must earn God’s love. Let this conversation with Jeannie give you peace and a new desire to grow closer to God through His presence.

In this episode, we discuss:

What to do when you feel far from God
How do we learn to put effort into our faith - without feeling we must earn it
How to be on your own faith journey - while parenting kids on their own journey
Why do we do what we don’t want to do

Enjoy!

Courtney

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

JeannieCunnion.com

Closer To God - Jeannie’s new devotional

Mom Set Free

Christy Nockels

Carpool Conversations

White Bird

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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BONUS: Their Identity in Christ Sep 30, 2024

Show notes

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)

The world will tell our kids many things about who they are, and some of those things will be true and encouraging. Other messages from the world will be lies, and difficult to hear. No matter who is mean to our kids, what school they go to, or what position they play on the field, our kids belong to God. Your child is God’s child, holy and dearly loved. He or she is called upon, adopted, redeemed, and sanctified. Your child was created with intention for a purpose and God calls them precious.

So let’s pray that our kids will always stand firm in their identity in Christ so that their confidence will not shake when the world feels unsteady. Let’s ask God to help them base their identity and security in him alone.

Father God, thank you for calling __________ your child. Help them to remember that you love them and call them by name, that you have adopted them into your family, and lavish your love upon them. May they know deep in their hearts that their identity does not rest in what the world says about them, but in what you say. You say they are yours! Amen.

Interested in reading more? Here are 90 Biblical truths about your identity in Christ.

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Trying to do it all and be all with Alyssa Bethke Sep 26, 2024

Show notes

I hope you are finding a theme on this podcast. I am always trying to bring you conversations about real-life problems that us moms face on a daily basis. Also, I want to always point us back to Jesus as well as practical ideas to move forward.

Today’s episode is one of those issues we face on a regular basis: Alyssa Bethke is passionate about this idea of “being all and doing all.” She really digs into why women struggle with this. My intentions aren’t always bad as a “doer” - they just aren’t sustainable. I would love to fix it all, handle it all and make sure everyone in my life is happy. I really, really struggled with this in my 20s and 30s. However, I am so excited that I have grown in this area and found ways to trust what he’s calling me to do - and only those things.

I love how Alyssa asks herself this question, “Lord, what is mine to do?” Don’t miss this part at the end when she gives us how she practically handles the pressure of many demands on us. As moms, this pressure to help, fix and support our kids is very real. It is very hard to face that reality - that there is never enough time or energy to do and be all. And that is where our faith comes in. How can we really lean into God so that we know what is ours to take and then we have peace surrendering the rest?

In this episode, we discuss:

The struggle of doing it all as a mom
The gift of boundaries and how to say no
Finding rest in God’s grace and what he calls us to do

Enjoy!

Courtney

Chapters