Paging Dr. NerdLove

Latest Episodes:

#89 - How To Improve Your Social Skills... Quickly Aug 16, 2018

Show notes

One of the mistakes a lot of people make is that they assume that social success is a binary. Either you're good with girls or you aren't and there's nothing you can do about it. But the good news is: that's not true.

Dating, being more successful with women, even just being more socially fluent is a skill that you can practice, and if you can practice it, you CAN get better at it. And you can learn to improve those skills quickly by breaking things down and practicing those skills individually… and integrating that practice into your day to day life.

Show Highlights:

How to make practicing social skills faster and more efficient
How to master making strong eye-contact
The secret to learning better non-verbal communication
Why practicing awareness leads to stronger social skills
The secret to beating approach anxiety

...and so much more.

Related Links:

How To Level Up Your Dating

Starting From Zero

How To Make Small Talk (For People Who Hate Small Talk)

5 Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Social Skills

5 Tips To Improve Your Communication Skills\

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Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#88 - Why Nice Guys Lose (And Bad Boys Win) Aug 09, 2018

Show notes

Doctor's Note: There's a recurring audio issue with this week's episode that I wasn't able to fully eliminate. I've edited around it as best as I could but it'll crop up a couple times. Sorry about that.

The idea that women like "bad boys" or "assholes", and that there a bright line between guys who get dates — the assholes — and guys who don't — the "nice guys" gets kicked around in dating circles as though it were gospel truth. It's one that feels true, especially if you're someone who thinks they fall into the nice guy side of the equation. But the reality is very different.

The issue isn't that bad boys are desirable and nice guys are unattractive because science or evolutionary psychology or anything else. It's far simpler than that. It's not about what those supposed 'bad boys' do. It's about what the nice guys… don't.

Show Highlights:

Why nice guys buy into the myth of the bad boy
How nice guys hinder their own success
The simple, easy way to transform an average joe into a hot man about town
How your attitude affects your attractiveness
The one thing "bad boys" know that nice guys don't

...and so much more

Related Links:

Being a Nice Guy Isn't Good Enough

What Bad Boys Know That Nice Guys Don't

What is The "It" Factor

The Appeal of "Bad Boys"

5 Attraction Myths... DEBUNKED

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Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#87 - How To Overcome Neediness Aug 02, 2018

Show notes

When it comes to dating, there is one common issue that men have that will kill any chance you have to build attraction or a relationship: neediness.

Neediness and needy behavior is the Anti-Sex equation. No matter what else you have going for you in your life — you could travel the world, you could be world famous, you could be a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht — neediness will ultimately make people nope the hell out of your life, whether you're in a relationship, or just trying to start one. Neediness drives people away because it's that's a sign that someone's just not ready for a relationship.

But overcoming neediness isn't about following rules like "only text X number of times" or "only see her Y times per week"... it's about addressing the source of needy behavior.

Show Highlights:

Why women are turned off by needy behavior
How neediness is a sign of other dating deal-breakers
Why men with low self-esteem have a harder time finding lasting relationships
How fear causes needy behavior
Why most men never overcome neediness

...and so much more.

Related Links:

Where Do You Get Your Validation?

The Problem With Neediness

Eliminating Neediness

Avoid These Dating Deal Breakers

Better Dating Through Mind Control

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#86 - How To Approach Women In Groups Jul 26, 2018

Show notes

A lot of men don't know how to approach women in groups — whether they're with other women or a mixed group of men, women and more. As a result, they tend to focus on that one person… and end up coming across like a hyena trying to separate a gazelle from the herd. Fortunately, it's actually very easy to join in a groups, in a way that not only encourage them to accept you, but help you make a powerful connection almost immediately.

You just have to understand how to manage group dynamics.

Show Highlights:

What men get wrong about approaching groups of women
The common mistake that gets you rejected by groups
How men send the wrong signal when approaching women
Why talking to one person in the group is a mistake
Understand the power of the 3:2 ratio

...and so much more

Related Links:

Reading the Room (via Seanan McGuire)

The No-Fear Guide To Navigating Parties Like A Pro

5 Different Ways To Boost Your Charisma, Instantly

Popularity 101

The Art of Social Calibration

5 Secrets To Make People Like You

Don't forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#85 - Understanding The Difference Between Flirting and Harassment Jul 19, 2018

Show notes

Recently Henry Cavill gave his thoughts about flirting in a post #MeToo era during an interview with GQ Australia, where he claimed to be afraid that flirting with someone might lead to his being dragged through hell because… reasons. And while he has since apologized for his insensitive remarks, they struck a chord with many people: where do you find the line between welcome flirting and sexual harassment? Does it come down to "flirting is when women like you and harassment is when they don't"? What are the rules that define what's flirting and what isn't?

Show Highlights:

Why do some men get away with flirting with women when other men get called out for it?
Why "Just Be Attractive" gets it wrong
The crucial details that make the difference between welcome flirting and unwelcome invasions of space
How to tell when someone wants you to flirt with them
Why nobody is harassing people by accident

...and so much more

Related Links:

How To Not Be The Office Creeper

Understanding The Dangers of Dating

What It Takes To Be A Better Man

Read Her Signs (Without Reading The Tea Leaves)

Sexual Harassment in Nerd Culture

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Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#84 - Can Silicon Valley Save Sex Ed? A Conversation With Brianna Rader Jul 12, 2018

Show notes

The state of sexual education in America is appalling. If schools aren't required by law to only teach abstinence-only education, then at most we get a glorified plumbing lesson instead of what we really need to know. As a result: more and more people are turning to porn for lessons in sex and sexuality.

But what if there's a better way? If the educational system fails us - either through ignorance or design - can we take sex-ed to the people? Can we disrupt sex education and give people access to the information they need via their smartphones? This week, I talk with Juicebox app developer Brianna Rader about relationship coaching, what we get wrong about sex ed, the trouble with porn... and also what it's like to be condemned personally by the state of Tennessee.

And be sure to listen until the end; there's an exclusive offer for my fans.

Show Highlights:

Why schools are falling behind when it comes to teaching us about sex
How porn is filling in the gaps... and why that's a problem
Why we have such a hard time communicating our wants and needs with our partners
What it's like trying to fund a sex-based start-up today
How independent apps are changing the future of education

... and so much more.

Related Links:

Porn and The Real World

What We Get Wrong About Sex

What Do Your Secret Sexual Desires Say About You?

What Men SHOULD Have Learned In Sex Ed

F*ck Like A Gentleman (pt. 1)

Don't forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#83 - What Terry Crews Can Teach Us About Standing Up For Male Victims Jul 05, 2018

Show notes

(Content Warning: Sexual Assault)

On June 26th, Expendables and Brooklyn 99 star Terry Crews testified before Congress in support of the Sexual Assault Survivor's Bill of Rights. As part of his advocacy for survivors of rape and sexual assault, Crews talked about his own experience of having been the victim of sexual violence. In doing so he challenged the narrative of what it means to be the survivor of sexual assault... and showed us how we fail male victims of sexual violence.

Show Highlights:

Why few men ever speak up about having been sexually assaulted
How we teach men to not trust other men
How we treat male sexual assault as a joke
Why the narrative of who can be a victim harms survivors of sexual assault
Why rape and sexual assault isn't about sex

and so much more.

Sexual Harassment and the Toxic Culture of Comics

Jonathan Martin and the Quiet Strength of Manhood

When Masculinity Fails Men

Understanding Toxic Masculinity

#82 - How To Get Women To Approach You Jun 28, 2018

Show notes

Lots of guys get anxious about approaching women that they're attracted to. But what if there were a way to change that. Ever wished you were one of those men who had women coming up to them?

You can be... if you understand why women are willing to approach some men and not others. If you understand the secrets to why women do and don't make the first move, you can learn to be the guy that women notice... and they'll be eager to introduce themselves to you.

Show Highlights:

Why women don't make the first move... and what you can do about it
How most men make it impossible for women to approach them
What you can do to make sure you stand out and be the man that women want to approach
The secret signal that you can use to get women to come talk to you
The number one mistake men make that makes women decide to talk to someone else

... and so much more.

Related Links:

Fix Your Flirting

The Subtle Things Men Do That Make Them More Attractive

Discover Your Style

5 Ways To Look Better (Without Going Broke)

5 Signs Women Want You To Talk To Them

Don't forget to pre-order my new book I Got Her Number. Now What? A Geek's Guide To Texting, Snapchatting and Sliding into DMs, coming July 24, 2018

Don't forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#81 - The Texting Mistakes That Cost Men Dates Jun 21, 2018

Show notes

How often has this happened to you: you've got a woman's number, but you never seem to be able to actually get a date. You may be doing great at first, but then you notice that it's taking longer and longer for her to reply and those replies are getting shorter and shorter until you get... nothing. And now you're left wondering just what happened... and why it keeps happening to you.

Texting may have been a godsend to shy, awkward guys who want to get dates, but you still have to know how to do it right. You may be used to talking with your thumbs like God intended, but that doesn't mean that your texting game is all it should be. In fact, if you're regularly getting radio silence or have a hard time turning numbers into dates, then you're probably making one of these common texting mistakes.

Show Highlights:

How texting changed the dating game... and how it made things harder
Why so many men get ghosted after they get her number
The mistake men make when trying to build attraction over text
How even the most well-meaning men can end up ruining women's interest in them through one wrong text
The number one mistake men make that costs them dates

...and so much more

Don't forget to pre-order my new book I Got Her Number. Now What? A Geek's Guide To Texting, Snapchatting and Sliding into DMs, coming July 24, 2018

Related Links:

Find Your Flirting Style

How to Use Humor In Your Flirting

How To Avoid Getting "The Fade"

The Mistake Men Make That Cost Them Dates

Don't forget to subscribe and review us on iTunes , Stitcher and on YouTube.

Like the podcast? Become a Dr. NerdLove patron at Patreon.com/DrNerdLove

Want more dating advice? Check out my books at www.doctornerdlove.com/books

#80 - How To Make New Friends (When You're Out Of College) Jun 14, 2018

Show notes

Men on the whole, and white, heterosexual men in particular, tend to have fewer friends than women and the friendships they do have tend to be shallower and less fulfilling. It's really not uncommon for guys to look up and realize just how few friends they have outside of family members and romantic relationships. And by then… it feels like it's too late. After all, it's easy to make friends when you're in college. But how do you go about making friends when you're a grown man?

Show Highlights: