Off The Cuff with Danny LoPriore

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The Best of Off The Cuff Sep 21, 2022

Show notes

On Off The Cuff, we’ve had the pleasure of hearing from so many insightful, inspirational, and incredible guests – Broadway actors, champion athletes, elite military members, activists, politicians and more – all with extraordinary stories of hope and healing.

Today, we’re looking back at some of Off The Cuff’s best moments, featuring guests Jonny Benjamin, Zac Clark, Dr. Justin Puder, Mona Shaikh, Kevin Hines, Joe Barksdale, and Alessandra Torresani.

If you’re new to the show, you’ll catch up on some of the season’s highlights – and if you’re a longtime listener, you’ll be able to relive some of your favorite moments.

Either way, enjoy some of the best of Off The Cuff – and get excited for more.

Amputee Advocacy (And Positivity) with Alyssa Cleland Sep 14, 2022

Show notes

Mental health issues are difficult enough to handle. But for the millions of people who are living with a physical disability too, the journey can be even tougher.

Today’s guest, Alyssa Cleland, was born with a one-in-a-million condition called paraxial tibial hemimelia, which led to the amputation of her leg. But with the aid of a prosthetic, Alyssa has made a name for herself as a para-equestrian and social media influencer, helping to shine a light on all that she – and others with disabilities like PTH – is capable of.

In this episode, Alyssa talks about growing up with a disability, being adopted from Ukraine into a marathon-running, sports-loving family, and her journey of self-love.

“After doing a lot of healing and things like that – which like, obviously there's still more [to do] – I think I've just come so to terms with who I am, what I have going on and blah, blah, blah, that like, I just don't care, you know? And I'm gonna be myself. If you don't like it, then that's cool. We're not meant to be in the same, you know, atmosphere together. And I'm okay with that.” – Alyssa (42:48)

She also shares about her experiences with mental health, the strategies she uses to keep herself thinking positive, and how she became determined to live her best life.

“I was able to like, comfort myself in knowing that, ‘Hey, like I didn't cause this to myself. I didn't ask for this. And I can't do anything about it.’ So either I can sit and be shameful of something that I have no control over or I can get the f*ck over it and live my life to the best that I can. And that's what I decided to do. … It’s definitely a fight every day, but I think it's a fight worth fighting.” – Alyssa (06:20)

In This Episode

(03:20) Competing as a para-equestrian
(05:06) Growing up with a disability
(08:02) What is paraxial tibial hemimelia?
(10:25) Being adopted and having a leg amputation in childhood
(15:28) Alyssa’s “sticky sock vacation” at nine
(22:51) The journey to sharing her story on social media
(26:57) How Alyssa keeps herself thinking positive
(30:09) The role of faith in Alyssa’s life
(33:31) Life with prosthetics
(40:22) Dealing with strangers as an amputee

Our Guest

Alyssa Cleland is an influencer, para-equestrian and disability rights advocate.

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Off The Cuff

Alyssa Cleland

Psychopaths, Brain Trauma and Therapy with Dr. Judy Ho Sep 07, 2022

Show notes

Few people have as much hands-on experience with the many sides of mental health work as today’s guest, Dr. Judy Ho.

As a triple-board certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, Dr. Ho has evaluated maximum security prison inmates, served as an expert witness in criminal trials, works as a tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University – and goes to therapy herself.

In this episode, Dr. Ho shares about emigrating from Taiwan as a child, the differences between men’s and women’s love styles, why people settle in relationships, and the challenges of working in the criminal justice system as a woman.

“My supervisors [were] like, ‘Why do you wanna be an expert witness in criminal cases?’ I'm like, ‘Well, I think it's interesting. And I think I can help.’ And one of my supervisors who is a woman was like, ‘Take it from somebody who worked there for five years in the beginning of my career – it is not a walk in the park.’ But it's never a comfortable environment. Sometimes it's a maximum security prison and it's really tough. You have to be escorted everywhere, including to the bathroom. All of your liberties are taken away, at least temporarily. And I'm not saying that that's anywhere near the liberties that [the inmates] lose, but it's like even just that tiny taste of it is [difficult].” – Dr. Ho (20:42)

Dr. Ho also talks about the benefits of therapy for everybody, and why she receives counseling herself as a mental health practitioner.

“Some of my clients say, ‘Well, I don't feel like I need therapy. I don't know why I'm here.’ You know what? Everybody needs therapy, probably. It might not be everybody's cup of tea, but I hope that it's not because you feel like there has to be something majorly wrong with you to go to therapy, you know?” – Dr. Ho (37:29)

In This Episode

(02:05) The education required in order to be triple-board certified
(05:07) Humor as a healing tool
(11:22) Dr. Ho’s experience as an expert witness in the judicial system
(17:09) The ups and downs of evaluating maximum security prison inmates
(21:24) How the Big Sister Little Sister program shaped Dr. Ho’s passion for psychology
(23:57) The link between brain trauma, aging and psychology
(27:43) Emigrating from Taiwan and adapting to the American school system
(37:29) Why Dr. Ho goes to therapy as a mental health professional
(41:49) Why people settle in relationships
(43:45) The differences between men’s and women’s love styles
(49:14) Dr. Ho’s experience working with multicultural, same-sex and gender-diverse couples

Our Guest

Dr. Judy Ho is a licensed and triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist. She is also a tenured associate professor at Pepperdine University and the author of “Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower and Get Out of Your Own Way.”

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

Dr. Judy Ho

Politics, PTSD and Veterans’ Rights with Jason Kander Aug 31, 2022

Show notes

By 2018, Jason Kander had already served in Afghanistan, been elected to the Missouri State Legislature, and become Missouri Secretary of State. The logical next step: a 2020 presidential campaign.

Instead, Jason took the political world by surprise and chose to run for mayor of Kansas City, near his hometown of Shawnee, Kansas.

Despite a successful early campaign, Jason made another shocking decision: to end his candidacy, take a break from the public eye, and spend eight months receiving treatment for the PTSD he brought back from Afghanistan.

Today, he joins me to talk about how therapy helped him deal with the trauma he endured during his service, how the U.S. must change the way it takes care of its veterans, and more.

“One of the big things that I worked through in therapy was … this sense that I hadn't done enough. I mean, it was just this constant refrain because I had friends who had been hurt physically. I had plenty of friends who had been overseas longer than me. So I had this real sense that I had not done enough and it drove me for a very long time. And what I realize now is that I actually have done quite a lot and I have done enough. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna do more for my country, but it won't be because I feel I have to, or I owe it. It'll be because that's what I want to do.” – Jason (07:34)

Jason discussed coming to terms with his PTSD diagnosis after more than a decade, and how his diagnosis provided not only validation, but a way forward.

“When I was diagnosed with PTSD, it happened after me really coming to terms with the idea that I had PTSD. So when I was finally diagnosed, you know, I had spent almost 11 years being like, that's not what this is. And then that became like, it's not what this is. I didn't earn that. So that's just something wrong with me. I'm just this way. And then it was very hard and very difficult for me to accept the idea that this was PTSD. So then after I'd gone through that, then to be diagnosed was validating for me. … but I think even more than the validation that it provided to me was the clarity, you know, the idea of like, because once you say like, okay, for sure that's what this is, then it does feel a little like, okay, so now I know what to do.” – Jason (09:08)

In This Episode

(01:13) Jason’s path to joining the military
(02:49) Learning to help others by example
(04:30) Choosing the Army
(07:34) Trauma, therapy, and survivor’s guilt
(09:08) Coming to terms with PTSD
(12:40) Recovery in the public eye
(19:48) Will the U.S. change the way it takes care of our veterans?
(32:34) The case for foreign aid
(47:15) Writing Invisible Storm

Our Guest

Jason Kander served in Afghanistan as an Army Captain before being elected to the Missouri State Legislature in 2008 and becoming Missouri Secretary of State in 2012.

Currently, Jason is the President of the National Expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-profit dedicated to preventing suicide and homelessness among veterans.

He is the author of two books, Outside the Wire: Ten Lessons I’ve Learned in Everyday Courage, and Invisible Storm: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

Jason Kander

Self-Defense, C-PTSD and Survival with Terra Newell Aug 24, 2022

Show notes

Today’s guest, Terra Newell, was only 25 when she survived a knife attack at the hands of serial predator and con man John, whom she killed in self-defense.

The shocking incident became the subject of 2018’s smash TV hit “Dirty John,” and Terra has gone on to share her story – and raise awareness for domestic abuse – on Dateline, Dr. Oz, KTLA, and more.

Six years after defending herself from John, Terra is still working through the trauma.

“[Everyone says], ‘Well, you know, we need everyone's stories because it's not just your story, you know, it's your mom's, it's this, that.’ I understand that they all have stories, but the reason why [John] isn't here today is because of me. And I have to hold onto that trauma and I have to live with that. And I am the only one that has to live with that.” – Terra (27:05)

Today, Terra joins me to share her story – including when she realized something wasn’t right about John, the “master manipulator” tactics she witnessed him using on her mother, and how her relationship with her mom has changed.

She also speaks candidly about being a trauma survivor, how C-PTSD has altered virtually every aspect of her life – from dating to physiological changes to getting through the day – and techniques she uses to cope.

“It's still like, I wish I didn't have to do that. Like I wish the cops could have handled it, but you know, everything happens for a reason. And I have to lean on that reason when those days come up because you know, I wanna be normal some days. I wanna be as normal as I can.” – Terra (44:06)

For Terra, something that helps her own journey to recovery is helping other trauma survivors, which she does through her trauma healing work.

“I get the people [who are at their] last resort. They're like, ‘I've gone to therapy. My therapist, I haven't learned anything from her.’ I'm like, ‘Well, I have been through a lot of stuff and I've gone through the process of it. So let me show you what has worked for me.’ … There's the commonality that everybody has been through. Something everybody has been hurt. And so I don't love to get to know people's hurt, but I love to bond with people over that, for sure. I know that we're all not alone.” – Terra

In This Episode

(01:51) Terra’s story: “My mom married a psychopath”
(03:59) The point that she knew something wasn’t right about ‘Dirty John’
(09:40) Love bombing, gaslighting, and other tactics of a master manipulator
(21:05) Being triggered as a trauma survivor
(23:38) America’s obsession with sociopaths
(28:21) A day in the life: How Terra copes with C-PTSD
(38:07) The healing role of animals in a trauma survivor’s recovery
(42:19) How Terra’s relationship with her mom has changed
(48:14) Dating with C-PTSD
(55:39) EMDR therapy and coping techniques
(1:03:03) The physiological effects of trauma
(1:06:27) Terra’s work as a trauma life coach
(1:10:45) “I know this is my purpose”

Our Guest

Terra Newell helps other survivors cope through her work as a trauma life coach and is the host of her own podcast, Time Out with Terra, and true crime podcast The Survivor Squad.

Currently, Terra is working with criminal behavior analyst Laura Richards to help pass laws against coercive control in the United States. With her help, one such law has already passed in California.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

Terra Newell

Beyond Schizoaffective Disorder with Jonny Benjamin Aug 17, 2022

Show notes

Mental health is hard enough to tackle when you’re a teenager or adult. For this week’s guest, mental health campaigner, public speaker and vlogger Jonny Benjamin, it’s been a lifelong journey.

“My parents took me to see a psychologist when I was five. So I didn't understand it. No one explained it to me because no one did right back then.” – Jonny (01:26)

Jonny’s documentaries on mental health and suicide have been presented on the BBC, his ThinkWell school program has seen major success in UK secondary schools, and his youth mental health charity, Beyond, was launched in 2018.

Today, Jonny joins me to talk about living with schizoaffective disorder, getting his start as a mental health campaigner on YouTube, and the benefits of finally finding the right therapist.

Jonny also shares how cognitive behavioral therapy has changed his life, the viral #FindMike campaign of 2014, and his youth mental health charity, Beyond.

“It's been a long journey. I've got a psychiatrist now that I can trust, that I can talk to. I've got a therapist now – it took me like 13, 14 years to find the right support. Like once I found my therapist now, it clarified everything. I feel I was finally listening to myself and just instead of just listening to what other people wanted to tell me and, and you know, I was actually looking out for myself.” – Johnny (51:14)

In This Episode

(01:12) Signs of Jonny’s schizoaffective disorder at 5 years old
(05:30) What schizoaffective disorder is
(14:28) Jonny’s first experience with psychosis
(17:32) Stigma surrounding mental health and sexuality in a Jewish family
(20:21) Jonny’s “guardian angel”
(25:42) #FindMike campaign
(30:20) The mental pressure of of #FindMike and Jonny’s subsequent breakdown
(38:29) Finally telling his parents about his struggle with mental health
(43:54) “I literally broke down in tears.”
(51:05) The difficulty – and joy – of finding the right therapist
(56:51) Jonny’s youth mental health charity, Beyond
(1:02:34) Are you happy today?

Our Guest

Mental health campaigner, public speaker and vlogger Jonny Benjamin was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at 20. After his YouTube channel documenting life with his condition went viral, Johnny became a mental health advocate and public speaker, with BBC documentaries, a school program for UK secondary schools, and a youth charity for teens and young adults.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

Jonny Benjamin

Making Anxiety Funny with Gianmarco Soresi Aug 10, 2022

Show notes

Most people with anxiety would cringe at the idea of getting up on stage and telling jokes to hundreds of people. But for actor and standup comic Gianmarco Soresi, who has dealt with anxiety since childhood, standup is a refuge.

“One thing I think is nice about comedy is like, I can use that anxiety and live on that anxiety on stage and it can be funny. I can make the anxiety funny and I don't have to hide it.” – Gianmarco (41:43)

In today’s episode, Gianmarco shares how he found comedy, using his sometimes dysfunctional family as inspiration for material, his experience with therapy and antidepressants, living up to traditional expectations of masculinity, and how he handles anxiety today.

“That's why I think standup, like, let me be myself more. And I still feel anxiety about standup. Sometimes, sometimes I feel chill. Sometimes I'm filled with anxiety and I still work on it. I still work on enjoying the anxiety or just being like, Hey, you're anxious cuz this is cool. This is crazy.” – Gianmarco (42:33)

In This Episode

(02:01) Acting vs standup, and Gianmarco’s background as a comic
(05:45) The impact of COVID on standup
(11:41) Gianmarco’s family as inspiration for comedy material
(22:03) Standup as therapy
(35:05) The pressure to choose sports over performing in high school
(39:54) How being Jewish has influenced Gianmarco’s comedy
(41:10) Making anxiety funny
(43:02) Gianmarco’s experience with therapy
(49:19) “The side effects of depression are death.”
(51:02) The dynamic of being a child in a joint-custody arrangement
(59:03) Gianmarco’s comedy writing process, and the changing model of TV viewing

Our Guest

Gianmarco Soresi is a standup comic, actor and writer who has been featured on Netflix’s Bonding, PBS’ Stories from the Stage, SeeSo’s New York’s Funniest, Real Housewives of New York, New York LIVE, Vanity Fair, and George Takei Presents. In 2019, he was the winner of Amazon’s Comics Watching Comics Season 8.

Gianmarco is a member of the sketch team Uncle Function and is the creator of the sketch series Matza Pizza. He is the host of a podcast called The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

https://www.offthecuff.fm/
https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/

Gianmarco Soresi

Life After Reality TV with Hannah Berner Aug 03, 2022

Show notes

Comedian Hannah Berner, who spent three seasons as a member of the Bravo show “Summer House,” isn’t someone whose big personality lends itself easily to the ultra-manipulated and overcut nature of reality TV – even though, she says, they tried.

“Imagine people who don't like you narrating your life to America. You're just like, f*ck it. That's how it happened. That's not how it happened. And it's hard ’cuz you're also oversimplified to these characters. Like there's the hot girl. There's the messy girl. There's the truth teller. There's the hot guy. There's the whatever. And like we're as humans so much more complex than that. … Then like six months [after production], [you’re] watching like a show that sometimes you don't really even recognize. And sometimes you even recognize yourself.” – Hannah (32:53)

On today’s episode, Hannah talks about the funhouse mirror of reality TV, leaving pro tennis for comedy after college, the identity politics of being Italian and Jewish, and why she prefers being standup-anxious to being tennis-pro anxious.

“I don't have that much fear and I'm not holding it too close to my ego. So I actually like don't really get nervous. The only time I get nervous is if like it's an audition for something or like I know someone's watching and I'll be like nervous for like the first five seconds. And then I'll kind of calm down. But also deep down, I like a little nerves. I like the high of it all, but I don't have the sick, horrible anxiety in my stomach that I used to have when I [played tennis]. I say it's like surfing – when you find the right thing, when you find the right wave, you just go.” – Hannah (45:26)

And how do you go from being a straight-edge tennis star to making it big in comedy, anyway? Hannah shares what the transition was like – and why she’s so much happier these days.

“I feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do now. Even though I do love to play tennis, just ‘cuz you're really good at something doesn't always mean it's what you're meant to do. Or maybe for that time, it's what I was meant to do. But at this time in my life I found what makes me happy.” – Hannah (46:16)

In This Episode

(02:45) Leaving pro tennis for comedy
(08:13) Being a “bagel”: Hannah’s identity as a half-Jewish, half-Italian woman
(16:08) Why comics have insecurities, and getting canceled for controversial jokes
(22:16) Hannah’s whirlwind romance with her now-husband
(25:43) Men vs women in love
(31:08) How Hannah came to be on Bravo’s “Summer House”
(36:01) How reality TV impacted her mental health
(41:30) The courage it takes to leave relationships
(44:01) Hannah’s performance anxiety during standup
(50:03) Are you happy today?

Our Guest

Hannah Berner is a comedian, podcast host and mental health advocate. Hannah was a cohost on Bravo’s “Chat Room” and was a member of Bravo’s “Summer House” for three seasons.

Her podcasts, “Giggly Squad” and “Berning in Hell,” have more than 20 million downloads, and she has over 1.2 million followers on social media.

Hannah performs standup across the country.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

https://www.offthecuff.fm/
https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/

Hannah Berner

The Mental Game with Andrew Jensen Jul 27, 2022

Show notes

Andrew Jensen started golfing at seven years old and went professional around 23.

His first suicide attempt happened at 16, with others between tours in his mid-twenties.

In this episode, Andrew joins us to talk about his journey as an athlete, how intergenerational toxic masculinity shaped his golf game, and the mental health struggles that contributed to his suicide attempts as a young adult.

“It was like trying to make it quick and painless as opposed to something that consciously hurt, I think, because if I look back, I really dive into it. It was much more the emotional pain that I wanted to continue to inflict, and have the physical be quick and make all of the pain end as opposed to some people who cut … want the physical pain to kind of take away from the mental pain. Whereas I was hurting myself so much internally that I just wanted to stop hurting period.” (30:30)

Andrew also shares how his struggles eventually led him to become a mental health advocate and YouTuber, where he uses his channel to not only help other golf enthusiasts with their game, but to continue to work through the long-lasting mental hurdles in his own.

“I think that's where it's like all those years of being a professional golfer and associating that identity now and like on YouTube. And if I have to stop at [that], you know, my knee jerk to that is like, f*ck I failed. ‘Cause I didn't achieve my goal. ‘Cause that was my need. That's how I felt. I feel as a golfer, I still feel like I'm a failed professional golfer, but whatever. And people on the internet love to tell me that too, but I don't f*cking care anymore.” (1:00:09)

In This Episode

(01:24) What makes golf so tough
(05:01) How Andrew started golfing
(12:47) Intergenerational toxic masculinity
(21:16) Andrew’s first struggles with mental health
(29:01) Andrew’s suicide attempts
(32:42) Recovering from the first attempt while still dealing with depression
(40:38) The intense pressure of pro sports and its effect on Andrew’s mental health
(53:02) How Andrew focuses on his mental health currently
(57:52) Andrew’s relationship with his wife, Kelly
(1:03:01) Will he let his son play golf?

Our Guest

Andrew Jensen competed around the world as a professional golfer for over a decade.

After breaking his arm forced him to leave pro golf, Andrew started a YouTube channel to document his journey as an athlete, share behind the scenes looks at tours, equipment and training, share about fatherhood and talk openly about sports and mental health.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

https://www.offthecuff.fm/
https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/

Andrew Jensen

Being Kind to Your Mind with Cooper Chapman Jul 20, 2022

Show notes

Many professional athletes go on to second careers in Hollywood or politics – but former pro surfer Cooper Chapman’s dreams are a little different.

After seeing firsthand how depression affected his father, and losing two family friends to suicide – not to mention his own anxiety and stress Cooper developed a passion for mental health that has sparked a new career.

In today’s episode, Cooper talks about his mental health organization, The Good Human Factory, the pressure of success in pro surfing at 14, and his own struggle with mental health that started when he began basing his self-worth on his surfing achievements.

“I started to struggle a little bit with my identity. I felt a bit of shame, like being around people at my local community when I wasn't succeeding as often. And then I went and spoke to my sports psychologist about how I was feeling and what was going on. And he's like, man … so many people base their self worth and their overall well being on their achievements and their successes. He said, I want you to take this forward in your life and it's gonna change the way you think. I want you to base your life on how well you live to your values. And that was this light bulb moment that completely changed my life.”

Cooper also shares his take on the vast mental health spectrum, the importance of making gratitude a daily habit and why everyone should have the tools to help themselves when their mental health needs a little help.

“We are all on a spectrum of mental health to mental illness. And we're all moving up and down it from time to time. And what I'm trying to do [with The Good Human Factory] is, I like to think of it like, life is almost like a treadmill that's dragging us from good mental health to mental illness. We're all walking against it, just at different paces. And I'm trying to give people the skills to be able to walk against it at a faster pace so that when life does speed up and throw some of these really difficult times at us, you can walk back against it.”

In This Episode

(06:27) Cooper’s youth surfing career and winning a national title at 14
(9:50) The pressure of early success and how he got into mental health
(12:30) Cooper’s “lightbulb moment”
(16:00) The sports psychology approach
(18:43) Transitioning from a sports career to a career in mental health, and starting The Good Human Factory
(22:17) A typical Good Human Factory workshop
(31:47) The mental health spectrum
(40:12) Competing against your own success
(47:55) Making gratitude a habit

Our Guest

Former pro surfer Cooper Chapman started The Good Human Factory after seeing how mental illness and suicide affected his father and close family friends.

Through The Good Human Factory, Cooper has helped thousands of Australian students and teachers practice mindfulness and gratitude, and increase their mental strength and resilience.

Resources & Links

Off The Cuff

https://www.offthecuff.fm/
https://www.youtube.com/c/OffTheCuffwithDannyLoPriore
https://www.instagram.com/1and1otc/
https://www.instagram.com/dannylopriore/

Cooper Chapman

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