Not For Everyone

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

109. Not for Thanking Beyoncé + The Misogynistic Trap of Relatability Feb 13, 2025

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Look, the Grammys came and went, but don’t think for one minute Jess and Caroline are going to pass up a chance to talk about Beyoncé. C brings up a Beyoncé conspiracy theory, J brings her defense to the table, C continues to litigate, J pushes back, and it all ends up with the two agreeing that Hollywood is just kind of gross.

The pair round out the episode with a follow-up on the Blake Lively talk, a rant about “relatability” and “authenticity” when it comes to women we’re determined to hate, a complaint about buying new dresses for every wedding, and contemplation about finding your personal style. Plus, STOP2END? Please don’t. We’d like to keep spamming you.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

108. Not for Wicked + Why Rage Quitting Isn’t the Answer Feb 06, 2025

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone today to get 10% off your first month.

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Ever fantasized about rage quitting? You’re not alone. Jess and Caroline are discussing all things work this week, from the benefits of corporate jobs to balancing work with other projects to the spectrum of people’s working styles. Are you more of a “I take naps throughout the workday” or a “I’ll create work when there’s nothing to do”? Either way, J and C are going to tear you a new one.

Plus, they talk about all the Wicked hype, and C gives her perspective as a former actress. There’s musical acting and then there’s movie acting, and let’s just say Wicked might not have nailed either. They also follow-up on approaching alone time from last week’s episode, and break down a listener’s comment on their “ignorant opinions.” It’s a fun one, kooks.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

107. Not For Sharing a Bed + Let's Figure Out WHY You Feel Depleted Jan 30, 2025

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Shall we start things off with a complaint? The answer is always yes. Jess and Caroline are really annoyed by the lack of good lamps in the world, which leads them to discuss finding their personal interior design style, sharing a space with another person, and even testing out what it’s like to sleep in a different bed than your partner.

Then for the age-old question: how do you let your partner know when you need alone time, especially in a way that doesn’t make them feel like they’re the reason? J and C talk figuring out the WHY of feeling depleted, witnessing someone else’s formative moments, and how NPCs have infiltrated real life. We all have to make our way through this game of life somehow…

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠@abinewhouse⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

106. Hot Takes Only: TikTok, Corporate Greed, and an Underrated Dating Red Flag Jan 23, 2025

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This frigid winter really needs to go…so Jess and Caroline are bringing the heat. They collected a few listener hot takes to discuss on this week’s episode, including naps, TikTok, straight men who only have female friends, licking envelopes, passive aggressiveness, work colleagues, and airplane trash.

Unsurprisingly, their opinions lead to some deep chats about redefining “community,” the difference between character and demeanor, the slippery slope of money vs. values, and a little rant on listener misunderstandings. This might be the first time you turn off your heat in a while, because J and C supplied it for you.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

105. Not for Wife Guys + Blake Lively and the One Thing No One is Talking About Jan 16, 2025

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone today to get 10% off your first month.

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Coming off the holidays, Jess and Caroline talk tears, sibling rivalries, and myths about sensitivity. Amidst all the family stress, though, there were a few bright sides: they discuss classic Christmas movies and how one of them led to a night C will always remember…

Also, is anyone else sick of the touchiness around period talk? J and C talk about body changes, new period invention ideas, and owning their changing bodies. Last but not least, the algorithm has found us all: J and C go deep on the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni lawsuits, discussing the downfalls of publicizing relationships, guys who are a little too loud about feminism, and what they wish was actually happening amidst the drama. We love you—and no, you didn’t mishear that. But maybe J and C did?

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (⁠@abinewhouse⁠). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

104. Not For TikTok Dances + Forgetting Your Pain is a Big Mistake Jan 09, 2025

You wanted sleepover vibes? You got it. This week, Caroline and Jess discuss how giving credence to your feelings actually helps you move through the hard stuff easier, while reminding you that the made-up meaning in conflict is the scary part. They talk about the point of college being exploration, and Jess ruminates on some a cappella experiences.

But first, ever heard of the technology adoption life cycle? Caroline talks about her TikTok misconception and Jess tells us why software updates are so important…and it’s not the reason you think. To round out the episode, they discuss male anatomy, a candy hack, and the pros and cons of knitting. Grab your blankets and pillows and get ready to gab.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

103. WHATADO: Embracing Where You Are While Pursuing More in 2025 Jan 02, 2025

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Happy New Year, kooks! This week, Jess and Caroline discuss a few listener WHATADOs that revolve around goals for 2025. Think finding the right motivation, working through emotional dysregulation, starting a side hustle, and making peace with being single.

But of course, they talk about a few pet peeves first: New Years itself, hairbands on people’s wrists, and smartphones. This episode is for you if you struggle with your “why,” need help balancing your work goals with life events, and want to make a life you love while being single. It’s part science, part art. Let’s do this.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse (@abinewhouse). ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

102. Not for Resentment + How to Believe You Deserve Affection Dec 19, 2024

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It’s the last episode of the year, and Jess and Caroline are feeling kooky. After circling back on owls, they discuss what’s wrong with influencers, a pronunciation mishap in a sexual situation, and what it might be like if C and J were sexual partners.This leads to a deeper conversation about initiating sex in a long-term partnership, accepting different ways partners show affection, and how feeling undeserving can get in the way of true appreciation. Plus, they deliberate masculine vs feminine energy, labor languages, and some feelings about resentment. Listen to the end for some New Year’s resolutions where they somehow circle back, again, to owls — but this time, in French.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

101. Interrogating Our Boyfriends | Part TWO Dec 12, 2024

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Who’s ready for part two of all things dating apps?! The kings and their kings are BACK to discuss even more dating app conundrums. They debate how long you should chat on a dating app before meeting up in person, who should ask the other person out, and how everyone has to figure out the right scientific formula for themselves.

This leads to a deeper discussion about whether or not to have sex on the first date. They chat about the value of waiting, the type of person you’re looking for, and ideal feelings around your decision to say yes. Plus, Justin and Jess tell some silly dating app stories that really make you consider the meaning of “dinner and a show.”

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

100. How We Actually Found Love on the Apps | Featuring Our Boyfriends Dec 05, 2024

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The boys are back in town! The kings to our kings (just go with it), Justin and Ryan, join Caroline and Jess to talk all about dating apps. Who better to discuss the apps than four people who met on them? The barbershop quartet discusses listener WHATADOs, like what photos to include on your profile, how to revive a dead conversation, tips for finding the balance between red flags and judgment, and FaceTiming or sending photos before you actually meet your match.

Besides touching on falling for someone you’d never expect and a few dating/app dealbreakers, they also dissect what worked on their partner’s profiles. The episode ends where their relationships began: talking about their first few dates and how they went from the app to the altar. (Just kidding…for now.)

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

99. Not For Pity Invites + Mini Adventures as Self Care Nov 21, 2024

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This podcast is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get. Caroline and Jess discuss how adventure can be simply leaving the house, some of their instinctive feelings about their futures, how “you’re welcome to join” feels like a slight, and how “do not disturb” has gone too far.

Plus, get ready for a grab bag of topics: nefarious owls, C and J’s little jingles, tissue box covers, desk chairs with wheels, a new show on Hulu, feeling horny on hills, and the return of Google search history, which leads to an extremely disturbing beer story. Get ready for stomach flips of all kinds.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

98. For You: Saying No. Nov 14, 2024

Babies…why is it so hard to say no? Jess and Caroline are going to break it down. First up, saying no to an old friend who you don’t vibe with anymore. Second, how to say no to your mom when she’s pushing religion on you. Third, how to say no to…yourself. They talk dynamics, they talk showing up calmly, they talk boundaries. And they push back when necessary.

Plus, are they really scientists? They discuss a few lighter topics like stretching, pigeons (!?), and Jess gives her own example of saying no recently—and how that was turned on its head. We’re all not for everyone; “no” is a central part of the phrase.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

97. Not for the Silent Treatment + The Ups and Downs of Being Podcast Partners Nov 07, 2024

Who’s ready to get meta?! Jess and Caroline reflect on their podcast partnership—on their growth, their dynamic, and their challenges. They answer one of their most-asked questions: what was the process of picking each other as podcast partners? And liken the experience to a marriage.

They discuss how they work out dilemmas in their personal relationships, the contrast between problem solving and listening, and how pausing during an argument can help people articulate better. Plus, a complaint about DNA and a *real* group therapy update. Thanks for coming along on the ride!

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

96. Not for Pumpkins + Letting People Who Hurt You Back Into Your Life Oct 31, 2024

Visit https://cozyearth.com/notforeveryone and use our exclusive 40% off code NOTFOREVERYONE.

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Happy Halloween! Let’s complain about it. Jess opens the episode with a specific fall issue that needs to be aired, Caroline talks the dynamics of crafting, and then the two commiserate over their clumsiness, which has resulted in the breaking of sentimental items. Plus, neighborly decorum, coffee shop decorum, and airport decorum are discussed in the face of a few annoying experiences.

Things get deep when Jess brings up a friend who ghosted her years ago, who’s suddenly reappeared in Jess’s life. When can we relent on boundaries? And when is the excuse “I’ve had a lot going on” actually justified? Plus, we’ve got a group therapy “update,” thoughts on a nice review, and some sports thoughts! You got that right—we’re now a traveling basketball/lacrosse tour. Go team!

https://open.spotify.com/show/1s4vovGkxJZI1JVtXiR0Ot

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

95. Not for Difficult Personalities + Applying Our Own Advice on Boundaries Oct 24, 2024

Get 10 FREE meals at https://hellofresh.com/freenotforeveryone.

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Who has two thumbs, hosts a podcast, and is ready to put their own advice to use? Jess and Caroline! C takes us through two boundaries she set this past week and how she felt doing it, and J discusses the ups and downs of moving in with her partner. Hypotheses are nothing without experiments!

Plus, the pair ruminate on decorating with a partner and the language of design, before diving into thoughts on an upcoming group therapy session for C. And don’t miss their brief discussion on haunted forests and Medieval Times…lots of big kahunas in this episode.

P.S. Listen to Amanda Montell’s Magical Overthinkers podcast, wherever you get yours!

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

94. Love Letter: Getting Honest With Yourself, Compromising on Kids, and Ranking Potatoes Oct 17, 2024

Visit ⁠skims.com⁠ and let them know we sent you! Select Not For Everyone after checkout.

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This week the lover is alone in a hotel room with the sniffles, and she just needs a little bit of self care time. Away from the stressors of home ownership and work dinners, it's just her and your topic submissions tonight.

First, a WHATADO on setting boundaries with parents - which Jess decides to treat as an opportunity to challenge the listener in question. Sure sure, boundaries shmoundaries, but are you being honest with yourself? The projection continues as Jess reflects on recent conflicts in which "I" statements were not in use, then dives into the nuances of deciding whether or not to be a parent. But a solo episode from the lover wouldn't be complete without a number of lukewarm takes and complaints, mostly on the topic of food.

Please be good to yourselves - it be hard out here lately 💜

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This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

93. Not for Fireworks + What to Say to Your Friend in a Toxic Relationship Oct 10, 2024

This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to ⁠https://www.zocdoc.com/notforeveryone/⁠ to try it today.

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This is an episode of complaints, and it starts out with a new long-titled segment about places where people are not allowed to take videos, lest they suffer Caroline’s wrath. Jess chimes in with Instagram stories that are not allowed, and then the pair wonder together why more women don’t name children after themselves.

Then, a listener WHATADO about how to work with a friend who can’t stop talking about their toxic relationship. What’s the best route for a friend who cares? Plus, we’ve got a Botox story, and thoughts on “spicy” self care and bad medical experiences. We’ll do anything to get this scientific information to you!

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.

Montage music:

Titan by Alex-Productions | https://onsound.eu/

Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com

Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0)

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

92. Not for Goodbyes + How to Start Owning Your Unique Strengths Oct 03, 2024

Ever heard of micro acts of feminism? No? Well consider that problem solved because Jess and Caroline have all the details. Listen in on to find out what that even means, how they define their relationships to feminism, how they own their strengths, and how we can learn from the women around us.

Things get a little spicy later on as Caroline takes us through an intimacy delight adventure tip, which leads into a conversation about the saga of orgasming, and a listener’s thoughts on sex with men vs. sex with women. Plus, ever heard of an Irish Goodbye? There won’t be any prolonged hugs here, no plans made, no quick catch-ups even though you’re heading to the door—we’ll just see you next week, kooks.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

91. WHATADO: Workplace Woes + Corporate Chaos Sep 26, 2024

Anyone else feeling lost when it comes to their career? Well, lucky for you, Jess and Caroline know just WHATADO. The duo cover how much to sacrifice when trying to change careers, coworkers who don’t work and complain anyway, how to deal with a loss of passion, interview strategies, and how to know when it’s time to move on.

Plus, Jess confesses to a mistake made on Slack, and Caroline has a hot take about eating in the shower. Best of all, this recording was done in person, and there sure was an animal attack right in the middle of it. You’ll know it when you hear it. Sigh, is it lunchtime yet?

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

90. Not For Abandoning Yourself + Mastering Emotional Boundaries Sep 19, 2024

Visit skims.com and let them know we sent you! Select Not For Everyone after checkout.

Get up to 40% off at cozyearth.com/NOTFOREVERYONE. Use code NOTFOREVERYONE.

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People with sleep issues, raise your hands! Jess and Caroline talk all things sleep, from weird and wild Zoloft dreams to their insomniac partners to a new life-changing sleep schedule. This leads to a deeper conversation about dealing with their own discomfort when it comes to other people’s pain.

Then, a WHATADO: how do you handle a friendship breakup with someone you aren’t actually that close to? Friend groups are tricky, and Jess and Caroline discuss their own experiences dealing with those dynamics. Plus, look out for some idioms, a new Jessism, emotional support items, and a surprising new placement for Botox. Sweet dreams, kooks!

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

89. Hater Hour: Is “Passion” Worth the Hype? - How to Build a Career You Love Sep 12, 2024

This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/notforeveryone/ to try it today.

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It’s Hater Hour, babies! Caroline takes us through the many steps in her career path this week, with key takeaways along the way. She covers using disparate skills to create something new, the logistics of quitting your day job, and how to sit in discomfort to make your dreams happen.

She also provides some deep takes on what “passion” even means when it comes to your work, cultivating hobbies, and how trying something for fun can lead to unexpected outcomes. If you’re caught between passion and responsibility, this one’s for you.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

88. Not for Internet Sleuthing + “Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater” Sep 05, 2024

Get up to 40% off at cozyearth.com/notforeveryone. Use code NOTFOREVERYONE.

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After the long weekend, Jess and Caroline have important business to cover. They’re circling back on the F/M/K situation from last week (with new, helpful info!), on Jess’s difficult conversation, and on Jess’s hack for saving money. But that’s not all on this assortment of matters: they also discuss weird baby names, mispronunciations, and why moving sucks so bad.

But it’s not over yet! Caroline has done some internet sleuthing and she has a report ready for you, featuring evidence, statistics, and names. Then the duo tackle a WHATADO that questions how appropriate it is to continue dating someone who’s set off that little alarm in the back of your head. Is a cheater always a cheater? The answer may surprise you.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

87. Not for Living in Fear + How to Have That Difficult Conversation Aug 29, 2024

Shop now at ⁠https://skims.com/⁠. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

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Anyone else feeling wormy? Jess and Caroline are, but that doesn’t stop them from going hard off the bat on a WHATADO about a listener’s boyfriend and best friend hanging out way too much. They discuss what setting boundaries really means, embracing anger, and knowing there will be discomfort when you say what you need.

After a brief intermission where a F/M/K situation is parsed out, Jess talks about an impending hard conversation, and Caroline gives her best advice about facing fear, taking notes, and naming the hard part up front. What’s NFE without a little giggle at the end? Enjoy a time Caroline put her foot in her mouth…and the role play for how she’ll fix it. Xoxo fellow worms!

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

86. Hot Takes Only: Finding Yourself Post Breakup, When to Indulge, and Brat Summer Aug 22, 2024

Get up to 40% off at cozyearth.com/notforeveryone. Use code NOTFOREVERYONE.

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It’s getting hot in here, so gather up your clothes…and get rid of them? Before diving into hot takes, Jess and Caroline talk budget hacks and clothing degradation, culminating in a few ideas for beating the consumerist mindset and some thoughts on what indulging really means.

And then, the main event: hot takes galore. Jess and Caroline argue, research, and kook out about emotional support animals, finding yourself, the name Lowery, what qualifies as evening, emails, sleeping on top of the comforter, and trendy terms that drive them crazy. Plus, it’s not mid-2024 if there’s no discussion of what qualifies as Brat Summer. It’s so confusing sometimes to be a girl.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

85. Not For Giving Up on People + Why You Should Cry More Aug 15, 2024

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/notforeveryone.

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Good morning, kooks! Jess and Caroline start this week’s episode off with a nightmare date story featuring the Spy Museum in DC, a forgotten triple-date memory, a very fortunate run-in with a listener, and the most unexpected (or perfectly on brand?) pump-up music you’ll ever encounter.

In true Not For Everyone fashion, things get deep when Jess asks Caroline how often she cries. They discuss why we cry, emotional hangovers, and therapy approaches involving the wise mind and the inner child. Plus, the two close the loop on a lost term and a workplace dilemma. And, the pod gets an unexpected shoutout…of the Biblical variety. Amen?

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

84. Not for Flirty Husbands + The Best Part About Asking for Help Aug 08, 2024

This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/notforeveryone/ to try it today.

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Your fav duo is back and more upset about things than ever. A WHATADO about a husband being too flirty with friends leads Jess and Caroline to discussions about gray areas in asking people out, partners hanging out with people of the opposite sex, and the difference between conversations and ultimatums. They might even rethink their initial stances on this one.

Plus, a new fable, “How the Mean Man at the Gym Became a Sweetie Pie,” has Jess and Caroline ruminating on letting people do things for you, love languages, and helping others feel a sense of purpose. We’re about to sing you a lullaby, so get cozy.

*Trigger warning: suicide from 1:07:25 throughout the remainder of episode.

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

Montage Music: Child Dreams by Keys of Moon | https://soundcloud.com/keysofmoon Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons / Attribution 3.0 Unported License (CC BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

83. Love Letter: Mindset Shifts for Friends and Flings + “If He Wanted to, He Would” Aug 01, 2024

Dear listener, Enclosed is a letter from the heart. It contains: • Advice on that friend who won't refund you for a trip you could no longer make • A reminder that almost every relationship let-down is more gradual than it feels in real time • A mindset shift that will help you build and maintain more fulfilling friend groups • The worst TikTok advice out there, and how to flip it to be semi-useful Plus, stories of love and back shots - from your host Jess herself, as well from your fellow kooks (who are sometimes wiser than the ones doing all the talking). If you're lucky, Abraham Lincoln may even show up. Sincerely, Your lover __ This episode was produced by the resident lover here at NFE, Jess DeBakey. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ __ Share with a friend! Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app! Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more: https://www.instagram.com/not4everyonepod/ https://www.instagram.com/thegoodsitter/ https://www.instagram.com/jzdebakey/ And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/ __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA __ DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

82. For You: The Body Image Talk You Needed a Long Time Ago Jul 18, 2024

This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at ⁠shopify.com/notforeveryone/⁠. ___ This week, Jess and Caroline add to a conversation that seems to affect just about everyone: body image. They go through some listener DMs and cover topics like acknowledging the variability of body image, accepting your body when you’re chronically ill, and how to deal with family members who can’t stop talking about your weight.

Plus, a few takes on how body hindsight is 20/20, how food morality can be damaging, and how you can’t talk someone out of an eating disorder. They also offer some concrete strategies for loving yourself, including being your own body-talk bestie, admiring other people’s bodies, and focusing on more important aspects about yourself. It’s a sweet one, babies—let Jess and Caroline cuddle you and remind you of how special you are, physical form aside.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

81. Not for Meet Cutes + How "Sex and the City" Lied to Us Jul 11, 2024

Welcome back to Not For Everyone, where this week, Jess and Caroline think people need to cool it. They discuss how people don’t know how to be properly annoyed anymore, how people can’t stop demeaning Americans on the internet, and how people go insane in the comment sections.

This leads to some deeper conversations about how we get lost in what a love story “should” look like, a Sex and the City dating fallacy, and why throwing shade isn’t actually that bad. Plus, we get to the meat of great conversation starters—and how sometimes the most unexpected topics create hours of conversation. Like this podcast! So meta.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Share with a friend!

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

80. Not for Eye Contact + Stop Chasing the First Date Spark Jul 04, 2024

In today’s episode, we’ve got just about every Segment™ in the book for you. Jess and Caroline’s scientific minds put together a theory on attractiveness, a reason we say “you know?” so much, and a realistic take on disappointing people. Also, there’s a NEW segment, folks: Lady Snapple Facts, the first of which brings an often forgotten revelation about wearing skirts in public.

Plus, a WHATADO: let’s say the first date was great, sparks flying, humor matching, conversation flowing...and then the second feels like a big swing and a miss. Jess and Caroline have OPINIONS, using some early dating stories to make their points. They then round out the episode with a complaint anyone can get behind: people just *existing* at the airport. Talk about a space that’s truly not for everyone.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

__

Share with a friend!

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

79. Hater Hour: Deep Friendship Betrayal, Manipulative People, and Getting Closure Jun 27, 2024

This episode is sponsored by Zocdoc. Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠zocdoc.com/notforeveryone/⁠⁠⁠⁠ to try it today.

This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/notforeveryone/.

__

It’s Hater Hour, kooks—and Caroline is ready to bear it all. She jumps into a WHATADO about a deep friend betrayal: can they make it right? Or do you have to cut your losses? Caroline shares first hand examples of similar situations, offers some ideas for helping friends who are in manipulative situations, and tells us how to identify signs that you might be in the grips of a master manipulator.

Plus, a WHATADO about getting closure from a not-so-great partner, and another WHATADO about dating someone who is super great at everything…except making stimulating conversation. Take a walk on the hater side. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much there is to love.

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Video on closure Caroline referenced: https://youtu.be/y0xShs1P950?si=QBxOWUcrRzj982jW&t=755

__

This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Share with a friend!

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Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

78. Not for Empaths + The Bizarre Stigma Around Couples Therapy Jun 20, 2024

It’s a miracle: Caroline is healed. But the source of her healing is so unexpected that it leads Jess and Caroline down dangerous conversation roads, like discussing dreams and someone identifying as an ~empath~. They talk about how to handle dark mental health days and discuss the difference between self love and self worth, and what to do when the idea of self worth becomes damaging.

Plus, a few relationship quandaries and WHATADOs: dealing with opposing preferences around the house, navigating different sex drives, the stigma of couples therapy, and the fear of telling friends about your relationship problems. They couldn’t end without a little game revolving around Beyoncé, since her music is all Jess has listened to for about a year. It’s a N4E renaissance.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

77. WHATADO: Flaky Friends + The Lie We Tell About Work/Life Balance Jun 13, 2024

We know you’ve been wondering what to do lately, and we’re here to deliver. Get ready to dive into some friendship-related WHATADOS: how to handle that flaky bff, what it means to cling to the idea of someone, tips for hosting old friends, and strategies for helping a friend stop talking about their ex.

But first, let’s talk work troubles. What does it mean to actually like your job, and to want to put effort into it? And how can you give yourself a break when you’re aiming to be the best at what you do? The episode is rounded out with a complaint, of course – Jess and Caroline are sending a specific article of clothing straight to hell.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Share with a friend!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

76. Not for Chafing + Perfectionism is Making Your Relationship Harder Jun 06, 2024

It’s summer, ya kooks! Except…is it? Caroline and Jess debate when summer actually begins before launching into a WHATADO: how to dress for summer when you’re a curvy honey. Personal style is the conundrum that will never die. They cover wearing color, anti-chafing tips, and their mother’s thoughts on their changing bodies.

Plus, Jess has a relationship realization worth a deep dive: how to handle the emotional onslaught you feel after getting critical feedback from a very steady, rational partner. The two decipher the difference between feeling disconnected and feeling out of sync, and follow up on some *couple things* shared by listeners. They round out the episode with some rapid-fire hot takes (shroom edition?) and complaints about kids on the internet. Because why not end with babies when you are two babies? IYKYK.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Share with a friend!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

75. Not for Cocktail Parties + How to Stop Micromanaging Everyone in Your Life May 30, 2024

Jess and Caroline start out silly this week with some thoughts on oral talents (not what you think) and boobs as birthstones. In classic Not For Everyone style, this leads into deep conversations about knowing when difficult periods of life will end, how to achieve mindfulness, and the mania of babysitting your partner at social events.

Plus, work dilemmas: what to do when you might be the micromanager, how to find your motivation at work, and dealing with the trap of unlimited PTO. Oh the dramas of modern life…take Jess' and Caroline’s hands. They’ll guide you through it.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Share with a friend!

Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!

Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod⁠

Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

74. Not for Enabling Negative People + An In-Depth Recap of Our Trip to LA May 23, 2024

This week, Jess and Caroline discuss all things couple culture, like when baby talk is appropriate, putting on non-sexual performances for your partner, and engaging in bits that, sincerely, only you and your person will understand. They also get into their couple culture with each other while recapping their recent trip to LA—which is full of general travel complaints and how they overcame them all.

Plus, they get deep on what it means to let people experience their own negative emotions. What if we didn’t need to “fix” every scenario for others? They talk about how to respond to chronic complainers, what to do when you feel like you’re shutting down, and how to still find a way to keep these people close in our lives. Also, don’t miss the wrap-up conversation about friends’ siblings’ baby pictures…whose side are you on?

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

73. Beauty Hot Takes + Reframing Your Professional Path with YouTuber Alexandra Anele May 16, 2024

This week Jess and Caroline sit down to record together live in LA, where they are joined in studio by a very special guest: Alexandra Anele! Alex is a talented makeup artist, content creator, dedicated NFE listener, and Caroline’s first YouTube friend – so it was a delight to have her on to share tips and hot takes on all things beauty and personal style.

But it’s not all makeup and beauty; the crew also ruminates together on if you can have a career in social media without losing your mind. Naturally. Plus, we’ve got a complaint about packing for trips, a flirty husband whatado, advice on breaking up with your therapist, and what it means to work hard at something and then find out you hate it. Put on your safety goggles and buckle up, because this episode is equal parts science and art, kooks!

For more Alex, check out her amazing makeup tutorials and more on Youtube.

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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

And don't forget about our MERCH store: ⁠https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

72. Not for Unspoken Expectations + How to Hack Your Mood Swings May 09, 2024

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to ⁠⁠⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone/⁠⁠⁠ to get 10% off your first month. __ Jess and Caroline are back together. <3 They jump right into some hot topics with some hot takes: how tracking your energy can work to your benefit, how our feelings tell the truth no matter the trigger, navigating different communication styles in relationships, and the danger of letting labels take all the responsibility for our actions. Plus a couple logistical conversations: which is the correct public bathroom stall to use? And how the F do you network without flirting? Of course, we won’t leave you without a complaint everyone can get behind—get ready for the Printer Episode, bbs. __ This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs! __ Share with a friend! Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app! And SUBSCRIBE on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for full episode video. Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA __ DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

71. Hater Hour: Interrogating My Boyfriend + Career Fulfillment and Dating Crimes May 02, 2024

In this special edition of Caroline's alleged "solo" episode, she is joined by her boyfriend, Justin. Justin chimes in to share a male perspective on all your questions - including what it’s like to date our resident hater, his perspective on dating apps, when it might make a little sense to “sell out” in your career, and so much more. They also debate various “dating crimes and misdemeanors” and can’t help but end it on…forearm strengthening tips? Don’t miss all the nasty boi phrases Caroline made Justin say in this special edition episode! __

This episode was produced by your hater, Caroline Winkler.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

70. Jess Thots: Defining Creativity + Living Up to Family Expectations Apr 25, 2024

Sound the alarms: we’ve got a solo ep from Jess this week! She talks all about creative bursts, and how the past two weeks specifically have been glorious for her. But when the burst fades away...Jess reflects on what should happen next. She turns to Instagram DMs to learn how listeners conceptualize the idea of “being a creative” and how that looks in different career paths.

Later, she goes into some therapeutic practices for understanding yourself and your place in your family. As a child of immigrants, Jess grew up with “survival parenting,” and she tells us a few ways she’s started to untangle herself from parental expectations. Get inspired bbs—whether you need a creative push or some time spent healing that sweet inner child.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

69. IYKYK: All Your Sex Fantasies Revealed + Making Dating Apps Work for You Apr 18, 2024

It’s the one we’ve all been waiting for…the milestone of the century…the 69th EPISODE. Join Jess and Caroline (and a special guest??) to talk all your kookiest sex fantasies, including respected older gentlemen, tears as foreplay, marketplace porn, pod sex, and…Catwoman?

And then one person’s fantasy gets Jess and Caroline in rumination mode: is your sex better if your relationship is better? Plus, they discuss how to work through sex insecurities, asking someone out in real life, and the many dynamics of dating apps. Warning: ghosts may be involved.

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Thanks to Alex-Productions for the music!

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

68. Not for Perfectionism + When to Start Your Passion Project Apr 11, 2024

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to ⁠⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone/⁠⁠ to get 10% off your first month.

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Jess and Caroline are ready to jump right in, and they start with some important thoughts on starting a business that might be in direct competition with somebody else. Learn from these certified experts on what makes a business thrive or die and dive deep into the pros of winging it versus planning everything to a T.

But that’s not all: they discuss the nuances of dirty talk—and why it’s not as difficult, nor as ~weird, as you might think. Also, anyone else seem to be in trouble for what they wear…in any context?! You’re not alone, and you’re right to be angry. Let’s freak out together.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

67. Not for Breakup Texts + The Part of Female Friendships We Don’t Talk About Apr 04, 2024

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone/⁠ to get 10% off your first month.

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Look, we’re all about a good segue here, and in this episode you’ll smoothly transition from looking cute at the gym to butt-cinching leggings to a childhood ass-slapping conundrum.

But that also gets Jess and Caroline in a deeper conversation about touching friends platonically. If you, too, are a person who finds hugging, cuddling—even laying your head on the shoulder of a friend—a little cringy, you’re not alone. Then we head into crazy dating and breakup stories, a weird misogynist in the wild, and an update on Caroline’s hauntings. Hope you’re wearing N4E colors like Jess!

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

66. For You: How to Start Showing Up for Yourself Mar 28, 2024

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to https://www.betterhelp.com/notforeveryone/ to get 10% off your first month.

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This episode is for you, dawgs! Jess and Caroline set the stage with an Uber debacle and a few linguistic complaints and then move straight into this week’s theme: showing up for yourself. They dive deep into codependence, how we abandon ourselves, and how to generate real connection.

Plus, it wouldn’t be an episode about *self* without some inner child work! Learn how to quit feeling so bad all the time by simply getting to know yourself and how you function in different scenarios. Your baby self will thank you for listening to these magic bullet ideas.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

65. Not for Being a Prisoner to Your Job + We’re All Baby Sometimes Mar 21, 2024

Anyone else feeling strangely… “baby” this week? Jess and Caroline coddle each other’s thoughts as they discuss imaginary friends, creepy children, and celebrities they can see themselves being friends with.

They grow up a little (sigh) to talk through how to quit a job where you genuinely love your coworkers, answer a haunting would-you-rather, and cry loving tears over the sweetest review known to man. Curl up in a blanket for this one and let Caroline’s imaginary nanny take care of you as you listen.
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

64. Hot Takes Only: Staying Friends with Your Ex, Period Sex, and Shrek Mar 14, 2024

Is it getting hot in here? Jess and Caroline confront some hot takes with even spicier answers, but first: they talk the perils and plights of internet feedback—on YouTube and Instagram. Then, get ready to discuss the correct pronunciation of “espresso,” the unspoken meaning of “likes,” the one that got away, Venmoing friends after dinner, staying friends with your ex, and period sex.

You’ll also hear their thoughts on the smaller details of life, including toe socks, unscented candles, Shrek, astrology, and of course, toilet paper. Okay, so maybe their takes were lukewarm, but were you entertained? Check.

Tina Fey on Las Culturistas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_NInpDZo44

Merch link: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

63. Not For People Pleasing + Other Obvious Realizations That Changed Our Lives Mar 07, 2024

This week, adult friendships are back on Jess and Caroline’s minds. They talk through how to schedule a girl's trip, their qualms with hosting, people pleasing breakthroughs, and how they each put on a show in social situations. They get to the bottom of this realization: are you really an introvert—or are you draining your social battery by performing?

Plus, there’s still plenty of giggling about bell pepper dilemmas, horrific corporate lingo, and a new weekend hack that might change your life. Let’s hang, dawgs.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

62. Not for Botox + A Snail Story You’ll Never Forget Feb 29, 2024

Not For Everyone is basically a beauty podcast now. Jess and Caroline discuss venturing into the Botox world, witnessing the aging process, and parents' chaotic relationship to their children’s acne-ridden faces. They also consider life’s deepest questions, like how did we learn to do makeup without YouTube?

Caroline is weirdly obsessed with smell this episode, so get ready for some sweaty takes that might involve snails. Plus, the kooks were correct: Caroline admits she may, in fact, look a bit like Tom Hiddleston. Help Jess and Caroline figure out who Jess’ doppelganger is — and also how Jess can bring a boombox successfully to a party. It’s not easy work being DJs, but sighhhhh…..someone has to do it.
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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And SUBSCRIBE on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for full episode video.

Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

61. Hater Hour: How to Survive Your Anxiety + WHATADO One-Sided Friendships Feb 22, 2024

In a solo recording, Caroline opens up about the big thing she has been avoiding talking about on the podcast - including the tips and tools for surviving the worst of your anxiety.

She also responds to a listener WHATADO about what to do when you find yourself stuck in a one-sided friendship, with major boundary violations and messy complications.

Various Trader Joes reflections included.

Kisses!

RESOURCES

[Book] The Emotionally Exhausted Woman

[Book] The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World

[Event] ]Workshop at the Integral Yoga Institute

[Article] ⁠Being in A Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself⁠

[Book] Radical Acceptance

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This episode was produced by your one and only hater, Caroline Winkler.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

60. WHATADO: Friends with Benefits, Boundaries with Your Boss, and Wedding Season Feb 15, 2024

It’s everybody’s favorite time: when Jess and Caroline give non-expert advice on a wide array of topics. This time, listeners wrote in with a friends-with-benefits conundrum, workplace boundary issues, and the problem with an influx of wedding invitations.

Plus, find out who has the softest butt around, if going to therapy equals enlightenment, and why the heck we wash our towels. Hope this helps guide you in your life—and if not, we can’t be held liable. Kisses!

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

59. Not for the Luteal Phase + Feeling Stuck After Years of Therapy Feb 08, 2024

Another episode full of lukewarm takes, cyclical insights, and "that's so funny" reactions, this week Jess and Caroline show up with nothing to give but complaints and bad jokes.

First, Jess is no impressionist - and also apparently no standup - as she *corporate gulps* her way through a series of failed jokes that forced her to quit her comedy class. Meanwhile, Caroline be lutin' (scientific term for in the luteal phase of her menstrual cycle), leaving little room for laughter but a lot of room for spiraling about therapy.

This deadly combo concludes with the reveal of an upcoming surprise, an analysis of gifts as a love language, and a referral to a new form of therapy that both of our hosts desperately need.

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This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

58. Not for Codependent Patterns + The Problem with Imposter Syndrome Feb 01, 2024

Jess and Caroline are just two sporty girls who are too busy collecting baby teeth and committing to unnecessary extracurriculars to keep a busy schedule. But here they gather on a Sunday morning ready to repeat to you exactly what their therapists said this week.

First, Jess is thinking about quitting a hobby that no one told her to pick up. Who know that was even possible?! Caroline talks her through it and then offers deeper context and examples on a hard hitting truth shared in last episode: Peace is letting people be wrong about you. The two go back and forth on when and how this can apply, even diving into one of the hardest areas to put this advice into practice: with family.

A hot take on imposter syndrome, affirming tarot card reading, and idiotic musings on time zones, middle age, and more round out the episode. Pee break!

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This episode was produced by NFE's #1 hater, Caroline Winkler.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

57. Not for Self Doubt Spirals + Our First Fight Jan 25, 2024

Jess has been spiraling, and she has her ear acne to show for it. But with Caroline's help, she's coming out of her seasonal sadness live on the pod - and this episode has the giggles to prove it.

The two talk about navigating conflict with their boyfriends, who both happen to be calm/cool/collected, while our co-hosts are emotional and reactive for a living. Fun! This conflict resolution breakdown turns into a tell-all of Jess and Caroline's first (and only) "fight" as partners on the pod. In conclusion: they're perfect, and everyone should learn from them, because science.

They wrap the episode with their musings on the age-old question: "does size matter?" Plus, Instagram wisdom that sends Jess back down her spiral.

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This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

56. Not for Instagram + Choosing Between Ambition and Self Care Jan 18, 2024

The hater and lover are reunited after a month of doing absolutely nothing besides sending each other bedtime texts. Caroline does have one more thing to show for her break, though: a new sport she’s invented. Or at least a concept that will improve the sporting experience for her? The details aren’t important.

The two move onto bigger topics as Caroline shares a Tony Robbins quote that stirred her into action recently: “the path of least resistance will never make you happy.” She’s happily taking on new challenges in her work, while Jess shares a story of turning down a new opportunity in favor of balance and long-term goals. She even references a book (*gasp!*), Radical Candor by Kim Scott, to elucidate her point. They settle on the hard truth that periods of ambition can only exist thanks to periods of rest, and discipline is in the eye of the beholder.

Finally, a couple of dating red flags that SEEM fine, until you get a good morning text from a Hinge dude who thinks he should run for president.

Also referenced in the episode: this podcast episode featuring NFE Producer, Abi Newhouse!

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This episode was produced by NFE's #1 hater, Caroline Winkler.

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

55. Jess Thots: Ins and Outs for 2024 + Less Mothering More Mommying Jan 11, 2024

Join a sick Jess on the couch as she cozies up to our first episode recorded in the new year. She kicks off with her list of ins and outs for 2024, which turns into an aspirational sort of roast that points blame at everyone except her.

Next, she takes on a couple listener-submitted questions: first, Whatado when you feel like a mother to your partner, and then a question that only felt right to answer with a special guest - her boyfriend.

This edition of Jess Thots ends with her best attempt at a speed round of Hot Takes, and a final roll over on her couch.

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This episode was produced by yours truly, Jess DeBakey!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

54. WHATADO: Breakups, Hookups, and Burning It All Down Jan 04, 2024

It’s Whatado time—and this time Jess and Caroline host an unexpected theme: all things dating. They discuss how to let him down easy, how to hook up when you’re living alone, and what to do when it seems like everyone except you is finding love.

Plus, a Hot Take turned Whatado: when should you burn it all down? Get a peak into what Jess and Caroline talk about off the pod, too, with a fun conversation about the perils and disappearances of beloved YouTubers, leading into a conversation about why we love other people’s slow narratives so much. Happy New Year, ya kooks!

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

53. Not for Wearing a Mask + What We Get Wrong About Burnout Dec 21, 2023

Jess and Caroline are workin’ 9-5…kind of. They talk all things jobs and money in this episode, from redundant ads to savings accounts to burnout to applying to jobs you think you’re not qualified for. If bros at the golf course do it, you can too.

Plus, Jess adds some of her world-famous thots to this episode: a new museum experience (!!), a complaint on couples, and how she’s not accepting new challenges, thank you very much. Looking for a happy story in the media these days? Not For Everyone has you covered.

P.S. We're taking a break next week - talk in the new year, kooks!

⁠P.P.S. CHECK OUT OUR MERCH STORE⁠⁠

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

52. Not for Sex Positions + Why Your Ex Might Be Right for Somebody Else Dec 14, 2023

This week, Jess and Caroline have a new take on parenting methods: what it might mean to let your child fail. They talk through some of their own experiences with bad parenting advice before heading into dating territory—specifically “Are We Dating the Same Person” FB groups and how those people’s experiences can actually get in the way of finding your person.

Then, they’ve got some relationship hacks. Scheduling difficult and deep conversations with your partner, how to ACTUALLY spice up your sex life (spoiler alert: not with the Kama Sutra), and what true intimacy really looks like. Tune in for the love making you’ve been looking for.

P.S. CHECK OUT OUR MERCH STORE⁠

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

51. Hot Takes Only: Baby Talk, Age Gaps, and a Parental Dilemma Dec 07, 2023

Jess and Caroline get absolutely HEATED about this week’s hot takes—but first, you know they had to add another scientific data point to their continuing conversation on dogs and sexuality. The research community may say that animals can be gay, but our Resident Scientists have more to say on the topic.

Then, get ready to get SO mad: J and C talk age gaps in relationships, when baby voices are appropriate, Apple watches ruining formal wear, a multitude of bathroom woes (hot girls have IBS), the correct way to sit on his face, parenting your parents, and why thongs and lingerie are just kinda…mid. Plus, humble brag: they know what “meniscus” means fr fr.

P.S. CHECK OUT OUR MERCH STORE

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

50. For You: How to Survive the Holidays at Home Nov 23, 2023

It’s that time of year again, where the good and bad combine to create the chaos of holiday feelings. Maybe you’re on the floor of your childhood bedroom crying, or maybe you’re laughing and decorating with family…only for your sister to say that one thing you wish she wouldn't. No matter your situation this holiday season, Jess and Caroline are here to commiserate, and maybe give like half an ounce of advice too. They discuss how to approach family fights, combat your own toxicity, let go of the need for control, and work through triggers while being at home, not to mention survive the scourge of family traditions.

Plus, help Jess and Caroline define what iMessage reactions REALLY mean, get some dinner table topic ideas, and check out Caroline’s pitch for a new rideshare app—and a term that may or may not be offensive.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

49. Not for Asymmetrical Sex + Building a Solid Friend Group Nov 16, 2023

Jess and Caroline have a lot of scientifically proven laws about friendship over here, but what if your friends aren’t available on a night you need connection? The hosts talk a few hacks for making the most of alone time before Caroline begs Jess for tips on party planning and creating a satisfactory wardrobe—and Jess delivers.

Also, if you’ve ever practiced your autograph or posed for talent scouts at the mall, you’re not alone. Learn how to be a child star, how to quell panic attacks, and how repetitive activities soothe the soul. Plus, we know you’ve been waiting for the return of ~segments~, and we’ve got the kookiest sexual one queued up and ready for you in this episode.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

48. Not for Mama's Boys + Hot Take on Kim K's Nipple Bra Nov 09, 2023

This week, Caroline and Jess contemplate a few listener-submitted thoughts: parents kissing their children on the mouths, a haiku review that unlocks teenage memories, and finally (!) what Caroline means by “mall Santa sex fantasies.”

Plus, a silly show and a scary movie that reveal C and J’s personalities (bet you can’t guess which genre goes with which host), the marketing genius of the nipple bra, and the pros and cons of living on a commune—a thing us women can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Listen in for a surprise announcement, too. Something is coming sooner than you think but slower than you want...

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

47. Jess Thots: Finding Joy as a Middle Eastern Midwesterner, Reality Dating, and a New Ick Nov 02, 2023

It's a solo episode this week as your lover comes to you from the depths of her heart at a time when joy is hard to find. She shares a bit about her experience as a first generation Lebanese American, then moves on to a highly requested topic: her *Official* Dating Show Rankings.

Next, Jess feels seen by a recent DM, asking her to talk about how to set boundaries at work, prioritize being simultaneously kind and strong, and find joy in day-to-day life. Plus, new ick unlocked - the only objective way to know if a couple be f**kin'.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠⁠DM her⁠⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

46. Not for Third Base + A Quick Fix for Loneliness Oct 26, 2023

Have you ever wondered what you look like while having sex, and how far have you gone to find out? Caroline lets us in on her Secret Single Behavior, and Jess finds herself unable to say a certain dirty word on the pod. This leads to an unpacking of our relationships with sex, and why we find it hard but important to talk about publicly. Naturally, our first kiss and virginity stories follow, plus an unfortunate BUDding romance and cotillion-induced panic attack.

Everyone is lonely and no one is hanging out without you. Even if they are, do you really want to be staring at them blankly over a plate of food? Why is it so hard to socialize, and how can we make it easier? Caroline and our producer Abi have hacked it recently, and you can too. Meanwhile Jess is in her feels about maintaining friendships as people start to have kids, but in the meantime, to the grocery store we go.

Caillou is back but not for the reasons you'd think; Bad Bunny is more like a dad than you'd expect; and oh wait, another Catholic school girl story - this time about awards that Caroline resents Jess for winning.

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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠DM her⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

45. WHATADO: Overcoming Creative Fear, Fixing Your Partner, and Dirty Talk Oct 20, 2023

The creative well has been dry as ever lately, but that's where you kooks come in, with another episode of listener-submitted questions or WHATADOs. We don't know what you should do, but we're not apologizing for this potentially bad advice either.

First, how to deal with a partner who can't stop complaining about their job but doesn't want to do anything about it. Misery loves company and your energy is probably better spent not enabling this endless loop. Then, a quick comment on how to handle feelings of spite, and a deep dive into the world of creating and performing. Caroline doesn't care what those f**kers have to say, and Jess just wants everyone at a standup show to do well. How about dance? Ask Prince Abi and the kids.

Finally, we talk about how to bring up sexual desires with your partner, and Santa makes an unexpected appearance. More to come there? Plus a complaint about public bathrooms and a fourth grade prank that shaped the women we are today. __

This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. ⁠DM her⁠ for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

44. Not for Overachieving + The Truth About Self Care Oct 12, 2023

Caroline's therapist is hot and Jess doesn't get why that's relevant. Personal style is overrated anyway. What's not overrated is Caroline greeting her boyfriend after not seeing him since...yesterday. Very highly rated, based on Jess's observation.

Going to the gym in the morning makes you better than everyone else and that's a scientific fact. Sometimes it's the only way to make time for yourself - that, and saying "no" often, maybe even as a default. Otherwise you end up in a situation that Jess's dad would advise against, and you wouldn't want to set that precedent.

There's a special kind of embarrassment that comes with "White Noise for Sleep 3 Hours" being your most recently played Spotify track. Better or worse than your sex playlist? It depends who you ask. Plus, running a marathon is like going to war and we choose the comedy war instead.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. DM her for your audio editing needs!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

43. Not for Cancel Culture + Our Worst Jokes Oct 05, 2023

What do two podcasters/scientists do when they have nothing to say? Well here at Not for Everyone industries, we take that as a sign to dive into one of the most highly debated and contentious topics on the internet: cancel culture. We know, we know... Right after offending all parents by giving air time to Caillou last week. This is just the edgy stuff you can expect from us.

After a hypothetical takedown of Beyoncé that Jess wishes had been targeted at Taylor Swift instead, we pivot to lighter subjects. The lightest, actually; welcome to the rejected thoughts we've had written down for weeks but decidedly never brought to the show. Hank Jones enters the chat, and Caroline gets her daily dose of compliments. Plus responding to your DMs.
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

42. Not For Superficial Feminism + Dealing with Career Jealousy Sep 28, 2023

Our hater and lover are reunited, and though Jess comes to this episode with little to no voice, she has a lot to say (and sing) after a week off. Mostly regarding the Jonas Brothers, of course.

We're all just mailbitches and feminism isn't only about language; let's get paid more, you guys! You know what is about language, though? The proliferation of the word "enjoyment" on social media. Joy? Who's she? Our return to therapy might get us there; otherwise this is all just one big Instagram countdown to death.

Most people seek purpose in having kids; meanwhile Jess birthed her boyfriend. She's not jealous of them, but she is enraged about Bobbi Althoff; luckily, there's room for all of us in Drake's DMs.

Meanwhile, Caroline just wants someone to care when she's walking down the highway alone. Plus, complaints, of course.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

41. Hater Hour: When to Make a Big Life Change, Difficult Parents, and the JoBros Sep 21, 2023

Welcome back to the Hater Hour. It’s a solo episode hosted by Caroline while Jess takes a mental health break — take note people! Breaks are GOOD FOR YOU and actually entirely necessary.

Unfortunately for you, the solo Hater Hour means there is no one to tame Caroline as she dives into discussion of self-improvement, trying to make a big life changes, trying/failing to change others, difficult parent relationships, open relationships (again), fashion offenses, and the forgotten Jonas Brother.

She also opens up about some recent mental health struggles and why you deserve to get help for yourself, no matter how “slight” or “casual” your struggle feels. There is also a major confession involving Tide Pods. It’s complicated.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

40. Hot Takes Only: Open Relationships, Being Basic, 69 and Men Sep 14, 2023

Hot takes are back with a vengeance as the lover and hater tackle the problem with 69ing, their views on open relationships and keeping people on the backburner, and a number of topics that have them realizing just how basic they are - birthday month, Barbie movie, and pumpkin spice to name a few. Okay, mostly Jess, who balances it out with strong opinions on hot fruit and microwaved quesadillas. Meanwhile, Caroline insists she was popular with the boys as a child, though always on the lookout for fedoras and earlobes.

But first, a complaint about skincare instructions, an announcement about derma-planing, and examples of times Jess and Caroline have stood up for themselves recently - including updates on gym etiquette and the Mykonos club scene.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

39. Not for Toe Sucking + Can Men and Women Be Friends Sep 07, 2023

The mood is malaise as Jess and Caroline mosey into a conversation about platonic male/female friendship that they certainly weren't prepared to tackle. Similarly, Jess wasn't prepared to start vlogging this week, though she definitely tried after feeling so inspired by Caroline's recent YouTube video. The compliments lead to an existential question: What do you wish you were appreciated for more often?

Caroline does NOT appreciate gym bros who don't put back their weights. At least she has a new NFE sweatshirt to comfort her. Do y'all want merch? Also have y'all heard of the moon? It apparently is full at the end of every month and also menstruation is hard.

Romantic body types don't make sense but lush yin somehow does. Hands can be hot and there are give or take eight different kinds of feet. Just because we know this doesn't mean we want our toes sucked, and oh also Caroline is still haunted but that doesn't mean you need to DM Jess.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

38. Not for Group Texts + Everyone Has Intrusive Thoughts Aug 31, 2023

It's Caroline's birthday and Jess endured a child who's never heard the word "no" to fly out and touch knees with her. It was worth it for all the announcements in this in-person episode.

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that if you imagine your sister thought about stabbing you too, you'd feel a lot better about the fact that neither of you has done it yet. You aren't your thoughts, and you also aren't your response time to that group text that's been blowing up your phone all day. If you think about it, so rarely does banter in a group chat correlate to depth of connection IRL. Context switching is hard.

That's why Caroline swears by time-boxing her texting, and Jess swears if she just had 4 or 5 hours or years she'd get everything on her to-do list done perfectly. Plus, debating your anniversary with your partner is actually a form of asking for words of affirmation, but isn't everything when you're two girls who talk for a living (almost)? It doesn't mean any one love language is superior to the other.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

37. Not for the Matrix + Being the Worst Around Your Partner Aug 24, 2023

Slumber party!!! This week, the lights are off and the sleepover just got real intimate as Jess and Caroline talk without video. In other words, there's no YouTube video this week - also who knew regular phone calls were still a thing?!).

It gets existential fast with a conversation about how memories are formed, which leads into an exploration of the idea that we’re living in a simulation. What would that change? The possibility of an afterlife? Does that mean we don’t have to be good people anymore, because it feels like we probably still should.

A new hair hack and some tampon stories appropriately round out the sleepover vibes. Then, Caroline gets personal, sharing a concept she heard on the Do You F*cking Mind? podcast: “Who is getting the best of you?” The two talk about bringing your best self to your relationships, and how it’s sometimes at odds with bringing your truest self - not to mention giving yourself a damn break. Plus, Caroline’s been procrastinating filming and Jess gets weird post-recording.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

36. Not for Marrying Each Other + Tales from the Dumpster Aug 17, 2023

It would be off brand to open with anything other than hair talk, so Caroline gets right to critiquing her new haircut, which is unfortunately more Brooklyn hipster than it is American Girl doll. This triggers memories of eyebrow and leg hair shame from middle and high school, setting the groundwork for the rest of the episode: everything is a lie.

Starting with the lies that people tell about romance in their long-term relationships! Jess can't stand it, so she insists on sharing how she and her boyfriend have recently found connection in the mundane, including a story about dumpster diving plus video game foreplay. Meanwhile, Caroline's done keeping her recent fantasies to herself. Being breastfed by a man is nourishing and gender-bending, her boyfriend gets very small and very far sometimes, and most importantly she cannot marry Jess even though it's all scheduled and everything. Marriage is a scam but we like it!

Dunkin cold cream is actually whipped cream which is actually cold foam. Claw clips are fertile (even earthen) ground for disagreement. And playing sports in high school is not a personality. Neither are Jess's college a cappella days, but the difference is she'll tell you she's cute - no questions asked.

Finally, a game of Super Theoreticals inspires a conversation about avoiding sadness at all costs, only to get horny thinking about Lion King moments later, and that's just what you get on NFE!

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35. For You: The Dating Advice We Wish We Knew Sooner Aug 10, 2023

You sent in your dating struggles; we pulled our best advice out of our asses. In this strange new world of app dating, constant anxiety, and ever-changing standards, how do we stay true to ourselves when looking for connection? Not super well, but everything we've learned in hindsight, we're here to share with you.

All things dating apps - filters and types, how long to talk before a date, and taking breaks when you're being the worst
First dates - the spark, whether chemistry can grow, why to turn a second date into your default, and allowing silence
Early stages - "normal" timelines, exclusivity and labels, and getting your ex out of your head
F**kboys, f**kgirls, and f**kems - texting, ghosting, and knowing when to walk away

Plus, some of YOUR best dating advice, and why this is all just one big animal style numbers game.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

34. Not for UFOs + The 10 Steps of Making Up with Your Mom Aug 03, 2023

As usual, a compliment turns into a larger conversation about coveting hotness and beauty standards, as Jess and Caroline agree that the only thing they (or any of us) really care about is sex and attraction. But is beauty work a lie, or is it simply a way to masquerade in an identity they haven't historically aligned with?

This breakdown of identity turns into a reflection on how people talk about themselves - basically, what all of our dating profiles would say if they were actually true. We chat about our best and worst qualities when it comes to romantic relationships, Jess describes why ice has become her love language, and Caroline finds herself relating to monkeys, bison, and...yep we're on cats again.

Urgent news announcement! Lizzo posted about UFOs and we're wondering what it means for us. Plus, foot stuff, and the tenuous process of reconciling with your mom. Just be chill; it's not an apology.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

33. WHATADO: Spicing Up Your Relationship, Being the Single Friend, and Texting the Ex HBD Jul 27, 2023

WHATADOS are back, and though Jess and Caroline are physically falling apart and can't agree about hair removal strategies, their non-advice to the kooks is ready to rage.

First up, keeping the fire alive in a long-term relationship - including asking for what you want (both directly and indirectly) and evaluating your sex life for signs of disconnection. Speaking of sex life, "whatado: eye contact giving head" is one of the best questions (if it can be considered a question) that we've ever received. Plus, why texting your ex happy birthday is always self-serving, and how to deal with unsolicited advice from friends in relationships when you're single and they're projecting. Make sure to check out the Instagram reel we referenced as an example in that last one.

We wrap it up with a revelation from Caroline about the vulnerability that is needed for a new relationship to work, and a complaint from Jess that has thrown off her vision for some time now. We all have those smudges we just can't get out.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

32. Not for That Pic of Your New Man + Weird Turn-Ons Jul 20, 2023

Caroline and Jess are back together at last and have very little to show for their time apart. No insights or reflections, no hot takes; just more contributions to the hot cat/cartoon crush directory.

We also have plenty to say about our recent air travel experiences and the misery that is interacting with other people in flight. Airports everywhere are chaos, but there's something in our east coastal elitism that makes it especially unbearable to wait in a disorganized Italian queue.

Plus, some stories from Caroline's acting career, including her big break in spoken word and a web series Jess fan-girled.

Why does it seem like your friend wants you to lust after her new guy? Why doesn't he keep salt in his home? We don't have the answers, but we do have the giggles. Leave us a five star review.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

31. Jess Thots: The Late Bloomer's Guide to Confident Sex and Dating Jul 13, 2023

In her final days before turning 32, Jess reflects on what it means to be fun, especially having been a late bloomer in a lot of aspects of traditional American life. Somehow it's been both a help and a hindrance to her self confidence - who else wants their mommy whenever they enter a sketchy club or party? Children of immigrants please stand up!

This leads into an exploration of two age-old questions: first, how to conceptualize regret, and next, how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition. Jess has touched on these topics before and promised to provide links, so here they are:

No boring dudes meet 🤝 more boring relationships! Plus, a nod to Love Island and an update on her creative projects - including a recent behavioral health industry podcast Mind Your Business. The content never ends; follow Jess on threads!

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

30. Hot Takes Only: Boxers, Brunch, and Bumper Stickers Jul 06, 2023

How are we? Just look at our hair. Though this week's YouTube video will be delayed FYI - we're happy to have you listening here!

In a new series called Hot Takes Only, we're giving our spiciest quips (i.e. really just the truth) on listener-submitted topics. Consider this episode a scientific analysis; we cover morning vs. night showers, couples sitting on the same side of the booth, boxer shorts, brunch, "baby on board" decals and more - with many twists and turns and tangents in between. You've never heard a podcast go this deep on bumper stickers.

Caroline also shares a dating hack that is the complete opposite of what Instagram therapy is telling you, and Jess talks about her upcoming vacation - not to mention debuts her talent for sound effects and beatboxing.

It's a fun one to get you through the week; until next time, kooks!

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29. Hater Hour: Public Embarrassment, Boring Dates, and Sex Dreams Jun 29, 2023

Caroline goes for a wild ride in this solo episode while Jess is away on vacation. Caroline is recording at midnight, just closing in on the hating hour - and the perfect hour for deep unhinged chats. Cozy up with your delirious host as she dives into the worst guy we all dated, how to keep from being annoyed at that one friend who is... being really annoying, and the art of embracing embarrassment. Caroline also touches on getting caught in the middle between your parents and personal growth goals. A Favorite therapy book! Anyone who likes this podcast will love it The Emotionally Exhausted Woman https://amzn.to/46wDwgr Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA Song Featured in Episode: "Die for You" by The Weeknd DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

28. Not for the Self + Managing Your Expectations of a Partner Jun 22, 2023

Another week, another update from Jess that she still hasn't done that one thing she's been putting off at work. Not to worry - what she isn't accomplishing in terms of *tedi* tasks, Caroline makes up for by testing her spelling, as the two drift through stories of middle school spelling bees, high school burnout, and eventually, bible camp shame.

Getting hit on when you’re in a relationship hits different, and also leads to a pretty unwinnable set of choices - come off bitchy, or lead someone on. Why must smiling and making eye contact be seen as such a virtue! Not only that, but apparently being a great conversationalist can be a hindrance to your dating life - at least it works for podcasting. Caroline asserts that there's a clear imbalance in what men and women generally expect from their partners today, and Jess has consulting jargon to fix it all.

To close out the episode: some Instagram reels Jess has watched recently, gaslighting in the beauty industry, and a “not a personality” we’re both guilty of. So crazy that we almost forgot there is no self.

Caroline also mentioned this podcast episode, for any kooks interested in a deeper dive on "clean beauty": Naked Beauty Podcast: Debunking Beauty Myths, Rethinking “Clean” Skincare, and Finding the Perfect SPF; featuring Charlotte Palermino of Dieux Skin.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

27. Not for Puns + Breaking Old Patterns with Family Jun 15, 2023

Dog sex! Jess and Caroline open this episode on the same page about almost every aspect of acquaintance-level run-ins, except for one; please someone help Jess feel seen on the elevator in her Turbie Twist. We can walk in opposite directions once we get off.

Next, Jess opens up about a recent breakthrough she had around patterns in interpersonal relationships, all thanks to AppleTV's Shrinking and not so much to her infrequent therapy visits. Who knew all that stands between us and increased intimacy with our loved ones could be as simple as a boop.

In this week's edition of Not a Personality, Caroline articulates at what point liking Halloween and puns becomes an attack on her personal space. There's a certain order fruit must be consumed in, and according to Lebanese adage, it all comes back to eating the grapes or killing the guard. Our astrological charts round out the episode and one thing's for sure - compatibility over sex and aggression was never a concern. Back to procrastinating and Love Island UK we go.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

26. Not for the Rabbit Jun 08, 2023

After a week not on vacation together, Jess and Caroline are back in-person with a stupid vengeance. Caroline is fresh off a time-pressured mast sesh and Jess is reeling from her tertiary involvement, so the energy is PG-13 despite all the talk about cartoons. Their butts get hot as Bugs Bunny, Max Goof, Aladdin, and Danny Phantom are described in intimate detail; whichever you're into, it's always your choice. "The game," however, may not be.

A quick detour from the sexually charged giggles turns to a listener DM inquiring about how important it is to do everything with your partner. TL;DR: Don't do that. We discuss the fickle balance between solo time, friend time, one-on-one partner time, and partnered group time - nobody said it was easy, but Jess is proud of herself for communicating her priorities to the people closest to her. Caroline frees us all of the notion that it makes you a bad friend to be obsessed with a romantic interest for a while, but she also notes how important it is to keep in touch with your full life when that starts to happen.

AND ALSO a story about being super chill in a sex shop, two petty complaints, Jess's cute and funny battle with idioms, puppies, and hilarious wisdom from the Nora Ephron documentary.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

25. For You: Making and Maintaining Adult Friendships That Lift You Up May 25, 2023

This deep-dive on friendships brought to you by countless listener DMs and years of oscillating between loneliness and social burnout. The balance is hard to strike and the stumbling never ends, but if we had to summarize our tips for finding lasting friendships, they might look something like:

Accept that making new friends takes time and will contain disappointment
Know that not every connection needs to be your deepest in order to serve you
Allow space for friendships to breathe when the ebs and flows of life happen
Be mindful of how you approach your friends for help, and how you offer help to them in return
Beware of possessive friendships and passive-aggressive behavior
Be honest with yourself about the friendships you can and should prioritize

In conclusion, everyone's just trying to live their lives. Plus some stupider tidbits we threw into the episode for good measure, including Caroline's iPhone notes from 2017, a hidden talent Jess discovered in herself this week, and the origin story of the phrase "having a time." AND ALSO, a drop-in from our editor, Abi! Now let Jess get back to her ugly night.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

24. Not for Manifestation May 18, 2023

A slower week in our lives means a hair appointment becomes content! It's not an episode of NFE if we aren't complimenting someone's hair. Caroline's bangs are refreshed, though her hands are wet and neck is aching. Nothing putting her dangly feet up and chatting with Jess can't fix.

The two shift gears and launch into an exploration of what manifestation does (and does not) mean to them. Too often does the internet rely on manifestation as the answer to all things - just announce you're a lucky girl and speak your dreams into reality! While Jess has had some "success" with certain elements of this philosophy, it's so much easier said in retrospect. Privilege and luck are companions to hard work and time in achieving pretty much anything, not to mention Jess's knack for hope and positivity and Caroline's preference for doubt and cynicism. That's right; both can work and have a place. We're a hater and a lover blah blah tropes.

That is until dating is the topic at hand, in which case any singular approach falls to the wayside as Caroline and Jess both lose all sense of self and stability. Has anyone figured this out?! How do you trust a charismatic bloke like Harry Styles and how did this conversation so quickly transition into owl pellet nostalgia?

In conclusion, a well-answered Hinge prompt is hard to come by. One could say they're seasonally dependent.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

23. Not for Aging Gracefully May 11, 2023

Back together again, Jess kicks off with a realization - having taken last week off and listened to Caroline's episode - that her otherwise minimal self hatred is at an all-time high when she's sick. She recounts the cycle of burning herself out by being overly productive, then feeling guilty about not being able to be productive, and then finally resting and being able to be productive again. It's helpful to exactly no one but feels good to her.

Then, onto an episode full of petty complaints. Number one on the list: why do people who don't even know Jess love her so much??? This question made more sense with some explanation, and Caroline was able to provide a helpful perspective on this phenomenon that some people (often women) are way too complimentary before knowing a person well enough, or express far too much gratitude when someone simply does their job. Insincerity irks Jess; she'd rather earn it.

Next, Caroline's strong complaint that the phrase "aging gracefully" is a double standard placed on women because somehow beauty is supposed to be effortless. No makeup makeup is a lie, and so is this idea.

Pet names (i.e. babe, baby) and PDA are next on the chopping block, leading to a college hookup story from Caroline's arsenal, followed by Jess's announcement that she is in fact wearing underwear despite what visible panty line rules may suggest. Always keeping us on our cameltoes.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

22. Hater Hour: Ways I’m Furious with Myself and with Society May 04, 2023

Introducing Hater Hour - like happy hour but weirder and darker and probably happening at 2am. With Jess out sick, Caroline takes on her FIRST EVER solo podcast episode, responding to a bunch of listener-submitted topics as she yearns for her mommy alone in her apartment.

First, a very personal look into Caroline's relationship with her deepest, darkest complex and how she thinks about negative self talk. She's getting more comfortable with the idea that the things that made her the way she is might just be a part of her, and that's allowed; self acceptance can be freeing compared with the never-ending quest for self improvement.

Next, reacting to your petty complaints and weirds turn-ons; honestly, you kooks need help. Do NOT let Caroline catch you making this one particular grammatical faux pas, unless you truly have a death wish. Then, a DM about pick-me girls turns into a story about Halsey and an admission that women judge each other unfairly. And finally, how Caroline thinks about measuring success as a content creator, knowing that doing it for views can't be her answer.

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In this episode, Caroline references her therapist Nancy Colier's book: The Emotionally Exhausted Woman - There's an audiobook @Jess!

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

21. Not for the Cottage Cheese Lobby Apr 27, 2023

Jess and Caroline unknowingly both show up to this episode with the same thoughts a-brewing underneath the surface, so a conversation about their dads' different takes on jokes quickly turns into a deeply intimate conversation. Caroline shares her ongoing struggle to separate her self worth from the quality of her interactions with other people, and Jess meets her right there, opening up about her people pleasing tendencies as tied to a fear of abandonment. They go back and forth about this pressure to perform or deliver in every social situation, and unpack the question that both of their therapists have offered on the matter: what if you didn't actually have to do anything?

Moving right along: a petty complaint about "cultured" food trends like prebiotic sodas and cottage cheese, a quick question for Bugs Bunny, a dating update from Caroline, and a bone to pick with reality show podcasts from Jess.

Basically, we’re scientists, and this is just an experiment where we explore all the things we’re doing wrong. Don’t steal our alternate podcast names/taglines, or maybe do, whatever, wdk. __

This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

20. WHATADO: Vanity, Trust Issues, and Spreading 'Em Apr 20, 2023

This week Caroline and Jess are recording TOGETHER IN THE FLESH, and you'll hear our excitement right away. Yes, we know the sound quality suffered our first time with an in-person setup, but that's why 1) we're constantly saying we're not professionals and 2) our full episodes are posted on YouTube. If you stick around here though, we appreciate you, and we recommend you listen without headphones this week. Take in the chaos while driving or showering or cleaning the house. Force your roommate or partner to listen with you. Or kick out your kids for some solo NFE time.

In this one, we take on another round of WHATADOS (our term meaning listener-submitted questions for which we are unqualified to give advice). First, Caroline gets fired up about a relatable listener who wonders if it's wrong to want to look better to impress other people / for the male gaze. Then, Jess opens up about her ongoing plight to overcome trust issues in relationships.

We also talk about Jess's first time being recognized in public (ily Grace), Caroline's laser hair removal journey, and an oddly specific ick from Jess. The butt strip is the best thing in the whole wide world, and we are each a very different part of Fridays.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

19. Not for Doing Life Together Apr 13, 2023

Turns out the hater is a lover and the lover is a hater as Jess and Caroline reunite after a week apart. Caroline shares how her recent solo trip helped her rediscover her easygoing, minimal-complaint self; meanwhile, Jess unleashes a list of things she hates that she was just waiting to discuss with her brother king.

In her three-pronged takedown of the most recent [AI] Bachelor, Jess talks about why "being nice to waiters" is the most unoriginal and unhelpful criteria for picking a partner. She then describes the anger she feels when people use the phrase "do life together," and concludes with a quick roast of the word "cuss."

Caroline gives an update on the sweetie pie from her gym - henceforth known as My Little Pony - and Jess talks her through ways to casually ask him out. This leads into a conversation about chatting and making eye contact with strangers, and the giggly mess that sometimes follows.

In conclusion, the podcast can end now that Instagram's blue checkmarks can be bought; Jess has a book company anyway.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

18. Jess Thots: Not Always the Happy Camper Apr 06, 2023

With Caroline out on vacation, we decide to add a solo episode option to our rotation, as Jess reprises her tried and true format from her Peaking days: Jess Thots. She opens up with a petty complaint to honor her long-lost co-host, then dives into a highly requested topic - finding yourself after moving to a new city. There's no quick hack like there is for creating tiny Ziploc bags, but she cites "fake it til you make it," "give yourself an out," and Google Maps lists as the best tools in her arsenal.

She then shares more about her recent experience going solo to her 10th ever John Mayer concert, and talks about how much of a flow she's in now that NFE is a part of her life. A nice lil deep dive into what's been on the lover's mind lately to keep y'all fed for another week.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

17. Not for Going Postal Mar 30, 2023

In our first episode ON YOUTUBE, we channel our nervous energy into a bop-around of a ton of topics (as if that's any different from any other episode). Jess kicks it off with another dad story, sharing how the legend himself feels about an ongoing podcast topic: "What is DJ?" Turns out the answer has been right in front of us all along, and it's Lebanese disco jockeys.

From word mispronunciations to Jason Mraz to our hatred of over-scheduling and to-do lists, we giggle and pontificate further, continuing our conversation from last week about group hangs and the need for spontaneity. Maybe that's what will pull us out of this endless spiral that is washing our faces every day until we die.

Caroline counteracts all of her recent petty turn-offs with a new petty turn-on, then switches gears completely to explore her distrust of St. Jude's tragedy porn. We close with an idiom gone wrong (or right) and a discussion about holding people accountable for what they do to us in our dreams.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

16. Not for the French Revolution Mar 23, 2023

A classic Ron Burgundy teleprompter intro from Caroline leads the hater and lover right into a conversation about templates gone wrong and other work woes. We talk about the importance of viewing leaders as people and the shifts in work culture that are becoming more and more common in the last couple of years. This leads into a reflection on how the pandemic changed the way we socialize, as Jess shares her struggle with becoming more of an introvert recently. Caroline realizes that some of this has to do with a lack of group hangs, and they explore how to rebuild an outgoing (and content-giving) lifestyle.

They then pivot to sillier topics, with Jess sharing a new slogan she's using for her relationship branding, a story about her dad's retirement interests, and a return to an old "segment" - Not a Personality. Having a home with character doesn't give you character, and history is boring because it's not about us.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

15. Not for Outside Opinions Mar 16, 2023

For every ounce of passion and wisdom in this episode, there is an equal and opposite moment of mundanity and foolishness. It starts out like any other - checking in on how we've been feeling lately and questioning the utility of a perfectly harmless item (in this case, sleep pants). Things take a turn, though, when Caroline poses the question: "What would you do with your life if you made the amount of money you make today, guaranteed, without having to work?"

This launches us into one of the most personal and introspective conversations we've had on the podcast yet, as we each open up about our feelings on having kids. Hint: they're not the same, and they likely aren't the same as yours either. We both share how we've come to these realizations about ourselves, and explore the complexities of being completely clear on a topic like this given the weight of timelines and outside opinions. Caroline runs to Jess's rescue as she explains why she sometimes doubts herself on this issue, and it's just goddamn beautiful.

For an episode with such an important conversation at the crux of it, we then move on like it never happened, describing our most memorable drug experiences, offering a hack for sweaty feet, and revisiting Google Search History Shame for old time's sake.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

14. Not for the Cult of Harry Styles Mar 09, 2023

Buckle up for the pure chaos of this episode after a more ~intentional~ one last week. Jess and Caroline talk about French class memories and calling their parents, before taking a sharp left turn into an analysis of the beloved Harry Styles. From there, it's celebrity sex lists, and to no one's surprise John Mayer is on Jess's and old turmoiled gentlemen are on Caroline's.

A story about a fuckboy of yore turns into a discussion about putting up with subpar treatment in relationships, comparing your relationship to others, and, naturally, the risk of a forehead kiss.

Why is it so difficult to mail out a package? What if stamps.com had its own podcast? Have you ever been hit on at the gym and did you respond like Santa Claus? How do you track down a stranger's full name and would you open a random airdrop from Caroline? These are the hard hitting questions we explore as we sign off yet again with fun and power.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

13. For You: Turning the Wrong Career Into the Right One Mar 02, 2023

We're back with another super personal topic deep-dive, this week talking all about careers. Shitty jobs, desperate times, quitting, moving, and chasing passion - we cover it all as Caroline and Jess have had very different, though thematically similar, career trajectories. So in this edition of the For You series, we share:

Details on each of our job histories and the lessons we've taken from every phase so far
Why buying yourself runway to pursue a passion is the only way to do it purely
How to separate your identity from your job when it comes to productivity and reputation
The power of keeping your nascent dreams to yourself
How to chase fear and tap into your intuition

This topic is so near and dear to us because it's so much of what brought us back together as friends and business partners today. So naturally, we overshare, we ramble, we scream, we want to hold hands... This conversation took us many places (much like our careers), but ultimately, fatefully, to each other. What a surreal feeling to create this episode - on the very day Caroline reached 400k YouTube subscribers! - with the hope of helping you.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

12. Not for Nice Gestures Feb 23, 2023

If you resonate with the "morning after going out" vibes that an Apple Podcasts reviewer recently bestowed upon us, then this episode is for you. Jess and Caroline start with a bang as Jess shares a dating app story from her library of bizarre experiences. We talk a little about the right and wrong times for sexting before shifting to an even more debated topic: green text bubbles. Don't fret, Android users, Jess has a special place in her heart for you. Then Caroline talks about a recent marathon date she had and why usually all the information is there in the beginning. Jess is perplexed by the toilet etiquette of putting the seat down, and while there's probably some cleanliness reasons for it, she'd rather young boys learn to be respectful in other facets of life. She also shares with Caroline some recent musings about her habit of saying things out loud to herself, and...dog sex appeal? __

This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

11. WHATADO: Draining Friendships and Lukewarm Attraction Feb 16, 2023

It's the moment we've all been waiting for - the return of the WHATADO. This time, Jess and Caroline spend nearly an entire episode responding to listener submitted scenarios, from "whatado when your friend treats you like their therapist" to "whatado when you're not sexually attracted to the great guy you're dating" and more. We talk about setting boundaries, the elusive spark, then go into a rapid fire segment where Jess asks Caroline to respond to a few more whatados that she hadn't seen prior (spoiler: this was in no way rapid, but boy was it fiery).

We also lament the lifelong plight of whether or not to cut our hair, and Jess takes a page from the hater's book and shares a petty complaint from the week.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

10. Not for the Right Headspace Feb 09, 2023

Opening up with a bang (see what we did there), Caroline updates Jess on the recent end to her "celibacy" (now you see), which turns into an even more important update on the age-old question, "what is DJ?" After this lesson in music theory, we shift gears and talk about headspace - specifically Jess', and why it's never right. We muse on what it means to protect our energy, and how that may differ for introverts and extroverts. Either way, it's important to both of us to spend time alone to get in touch with the things we actually enjoy, so we share some tips for listeners on getting more comfortable with solitude.

Caroline has a bone to pick with a certain type of jewelry, and also a certain type of dating profile. This leads to an ill-defined conversation on our ick lists - one much more reasonable than the other.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

9. Not for Dating Well Feb 02, 2023

Jess and Caroline are at it again with an episode full of "segments" - starting with a Stranger Danger story from Jess of a recent dermatology appointment that turned into a therapy session. This conversation about unwanted and unboundaried connections with randos turns into a larger breakthrough about our shifting availability for other people as life get busier. Takeaways: This podcast is our baby, and diversified fulfillment has its downsides; namely, finding balance.

Shifting gears, Caroline soft launches her new dating theory that "it doesn't have to be going well," and we insist that no singular moment is the deciding factor in most relationships. Even if it is, bring on the rejection. Especially if it has to do with judgment about music taste or museum appreciation. We're swine, we know.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

8. For You: The Complete Guide to Your Breakup Jan 26, 2023

In this new deep dive series we're calling "For You", Caroline and Jess tackle the big daddy of all topics: breakups. 'Tis the season and it's not lost on us! So here's everything we could possibly fit into a reasonable length episode, including:

How to know when to leave a relationship
Our approaches to healing from a breakup
Whether "no contact" is the only option
Situationships and why they're sometimes harder to get over

We yell, we pontificate, we read from old journals and quote Ariana Grande and actually give a lot of real tips in terms of what to do to get through this. But if all else fails, you can always DM lover/ENFJ/BDE Jess. Caroline will be too busy getting herself off on psychedelics.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

7. Not for Matching Energies Jan 19, 2023

Jess and Caroline show up to this recording with different energies, so we turn to a listener DM and strike gold when Jess fumbles her words into a new segment called WHATADO. Whatado when you don't like your friend's partner? We don't know *what to do* but we certainly can list all the options of ~whatado~

Caroline also poses a genuine question, "what is DJ?" Jess talks about a recent #fleetingfixation that she'll be bored of next week, Caroline gives an update on "stupid ways she's growing" (hint: it has to do with her hatred of texting), and we wander through a number of other random thots before concluding that we've solved it all.

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

6. Not for Dating Our Mommies Jan 12, 2023

It's a moist one! In this episode, Jess and Caroline slid from topic to topic, opening with some listener appreciation (and a new interactive segment #searchhistoryshame), then turning it way down with a discussion about disappointing people. We explore the pros and cons of codependence and have some breakthroughs that ultimately lead us to agree: we wouldn't date our families.

Is there room for jokes during sex? How did we segue into that? Are you offended? Guess what, it's legal. Science is a fact and everything else is an opinion and ours aren't for everyone the end..

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

5. Not for Men's Instagram Stories Jan 05, 2023

Coming back from the holiday break, Jess and Caroline are bringing the energy for our first episode of 2023. We talk about the toxicity of hustle culture, then hear an update from Caroline on her relationship (or non-relationship) with "Steve" (or "non-Steve"). This sends us into a bigger conversation on being direct in dating vs. overthinking in fear of a negative response, and guess what! Turns out safe communication is kinky.

Then Jess shares her working theory that everything is a projection, and talks about breaking out of the expectations others project onto her. The body keeps the score, and other books we'll never read, amiright?

A few other pivots in the episode take us to the age-old question: "why are men's Instagram stories so boring?" and a new segment idea called "Squisitely." Likelihood of returning to that one still undetermined.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

4. Not for Introductions Dec 29, 2022

Allow us to re-introduce ourselves… or maybe introduce ourselves for the first time? Four episodes in, Caroline and Jess realize we haven’t even let the listeners in on why we’re here in the first place. So we open the curtain on our love story - how we know each other, and what brought us back together years later to start Not for Everyone.

We also share the backstories of our AIM usernames from middle school, talk about our rejection of five year plans, dissect how we try to live by our values, and read from random lists we keep in our iPhone notes (because how else would Jess remember anything about herself).

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

3. Not for Showers Dec 22, 2022

Jess and Caroline are feeling much more at ease in the third installment of NFE...so it's no wonder their conversation moves from hot takes on weddings and showers, to breaking down Caroline's current dating conundrum, to Jess' fascination with stuck porn. Things devolve pretty quickly in this one, and it's exactly the vibe they've been craving these past couple of weeks.

This episode is definitely not for everyone - especially the kids in the car with you, and the haus of DeBakey, Winkler, and affiliates. Don't say we didn't warn ya.

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

2. Not for the Uj Body Positivity Dec 15, 2022

Jess and Caroline are back, this time taking a more free-flowing approach to the pod. With no episode theme prepped beforehand, they thot'n'bop through a number of different topics. Jess shares childhood memories of traumatic doctor's visits, and Caroline opens up about her history with an eating disorder* - which she would never feel as comfortable divulging on YouTube. They resolve that body positivity isn't the be-all-end-all, and wish for more authenticity in showing the ups and downs when these experiences are talked about in the media.

Onto lighter things, they then confront (or are confronted BY) their recent Google searches, talk about their differing boundaries with their therapists, and plug various words that Jess has coined in her closest circles.

*Warning* This episode makes high-level reference to eating disorders; if that is a trigger, feel free to skip. We hope you feel empowered to get the help you need <3

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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA

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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

1. Not for Just One Thing Dec 08, 2022

In the first episode of Not For Everyone, Jess and Caroline explain why this is actually the second episode of Not For Everyone. It’s episode 1, and Jess and Caroline are already emotionally fried. Who’s surprised. They quickly remember why they love chatting in the first place: because no matter the topic, they always stumble upon a deeper realization.

So this one ends up being a conversation about redefining stability, mastering nonchalance, and Caroline’s tried-and-true unofficial trademark “diversified fulfillment.” They also lament why people care so much about their boring ass jobs, and Jess shares a 7th grade story of so-called demise by 50 Cent’s Candy Shop.

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