Next Up: Narcissism

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Episode 46: The Scamanda Docuseries with Creator Charlie Webster Mar 21, 2025

Show notes

Some betrayals do more than take money. They shatter trust in ways that can never fully be repaired. I sat down with Charlie Webster, the host, producer and writer of the top international podcast, Scamanda, to break down the shocking deception behind the story and the emotional damage it left behind.

Amanda Riley didn’t just lie about having cancer. She built an entire identity around it. She shaved her head, posted hospital photos, and wrote heartfelt blog updates, all while collecting over $100,000 in donations. But what makes someone go to such extremes? And how does that kind of deception affect the people who believed in her?

Charlie shared what it was like to uncover Amanda’s story, exposing how someone so seemingly normal managed to fool so many for so long. We explored the psychology behind these kinds of lies—why people are drawn to them, how victims struggle to process the betrayal, and what Amanda’s case reveals about manipulation, trust, and the stories we tell ourselves.

We also talked about Amanda’s husband, Corey. Did he know? Should he have? And what does this entire saga say about the way we judge people based on the image they present?

If you’ve ever felt deceived, questioned your instincts, or wondered how far someone would go for validation, this episode will make you think twice about what we choose to believe and why.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Introduction

05:01 The Complexity of Human Behavior in Scamanda

07:11 The Intrigue of Amanda Riley’s Story

10:47 The Emotional Impact on Victims

15:01 The Relatability and Extremity of Amanda’s Actions

18:01 The Nuances of Amanda’s Deception

23:32 Amanda Riley’s Identity and Motivation

30:43 The Function of Dysfunctional Behaviors

36:03 The Reality of Amanda’s Actions and Empathy

38:31 The Importance of Public Awareness

41:07 Why Amanda Agreed to Speak with Charlie

Links

Watch Scamanda Hulu https://www.hulu.com/series/f4ec2a4c-e234-4658-8728-1d17d1725b89

Watch Scamanda on ABC https://abc.com/show/1056ec91-9c44-4671-ae98-3c9feb3f35b3

Listen to Scamanda podcast wherever you get your podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/scamanda/id1685691481

Connect with Charlie Webster:

Instagram @charliewebster

Website www.charliewebster.com

Why It’s OK to Talk About Trauma book https://amzn.to/41F5OUy

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

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Episode 45: Replay: Coercive Control and Domestic Violence with Laura Richards Mar 14, 2025

Show notes

Coercive control is about trying to take away someone’s autonomy and agency. It’s a form of domestic abuse that is often misunderstood and frequently dismissed. In this replay episode, I sit down with the incredible Laura Richards—renowned criminal behavioral analyst and expert on domestic violence—to break it all down.

Laura and I discuss the misuse of terms like “narcissistic abuse” and “toxic relationships,” and why getting the terminology right is critical. When these words are misapplied, it can cause real harm, making it harder for victims to recognize what’s happening to them and for others to take it seriously. We also talk about the broader societal factors that allow domestic violence to persist and why these patterns are so deeply embedded.

We take a closer look at high-profile cases like Gabby Petito and Lauren Dunne Astley to illustrate how coercive control plays out in real life and the devastating consequences it can have. Laura also sheds light on how the media often memorializes male perpetrators while subtly placing blame on victims, a pattern that continues to fuel dangerous misconceptions.

Beyond analyzing the problem, Laura shares the incredible work she’s doing to have coercive control legally recognized as a form of domestic abuse. She explains why advocacy, education, and legal reform are essential to protecting victims and shifting the way society understands domestic violence.

This is an eye-opening conversation, and one I hope will help others recognize coercive control for what it is.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Introduction

02:29 Defining Narcissistic Abuse and Toxic Relationships

04:15 Misuse of the Term “Narcissist”

06:17 Psychopathy and Domestic Violence

09:04 Violent Resistance in Domestic Violence

11:43 Breakup Violence and Coercive Control

18:29 Gender Roles and Social Conditioning

26:15 Recognizing Non-Obvious Patterns of Abuse

30:18 Devaluation and Pedestalization in Relationships

33:56 Concept of Unfreedom in Coercive Control

38:50 Insidious Nature of Coercive Control

41:06 Cultural and Traditional Reinforcement of Male Privilege

47:35 Legal Recognition of Coercive Control

Connect with Laura Richards:

https://www.youtube.com/@crimeanalyst

https://www.crime-analyst.com

https://wondery.com/shows/real-crime-profile/

www.thelaurarichards.com

https://www.dashriskchecklist.com/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/laurarichards999/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/crimeanalyst/?hl=en

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@crimeanalystpod?lang=en

Twitter: https://twitter.com/laurarichards99

https://twitter.com/thecrimeanalyst

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

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Episode 44: Q&A Episode: On All Things Narcissistic Abuse Feb 28, 2025

Show notes

Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t just about moving on. It’s about rebuilding who you are and learning to trust yourself again.

In this episode, I’m answering your questions on what it takes to heal, navigate life after a narcissistic relationship, and co-parent in a way that gives your children stability. If dating again feels impossible or you find yourself second-guessing every new relationship, you’re not alone. Narcissistic abuse erodes your sense of self, and I’ll explain why taking time before jumping into something new is one of the best things you can do for your healing.

Leaving a narcissist isn’t just difficult. It requires a plan. I’ll share why revealing your intentions too soon can put you at risk, how to prepare emotionally and financially, and what to expect when dealing with high-conflict custody battles. I’ll also break down how narcissistic traits can be passed down through emotionally immature parenting and what you can do to help your children develop a healthy sense of self.

If you’re struggling to move forward, wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again, or trying to co-parent with someone who thrives on chaos, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about how to take your power back.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Introduction

01:13 Answering Listener Questions

01:55 How to Flirt After Healing from Heartbreak

03:00 Trust Issues Post-Narcissistic Relationship

05:07 Importance of Not Dating Immediately After Breakup

06:12 Reestablishing Sense of Self

08:18 Misinterpreting Behaviors in New Dates

11:09 Staying Present While Dating

12:34 Maintaining Sense of Self in New Relationships

13:49 First Steps After Telling Narcissistic Spouse About Divorce

18:04 Differences Between Narcissistic and Toxic Breakups

20:00 Emotional Immaturity in Parents

23:00 Learned Behaviors vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

24:17 Accountability and Change

26:03 Narcissistic Tendencies in Children

27:08 Supporting a Loved One Dating a Narcissist

28:00 Isolation Tactics by Narcissists

30:29 Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

33:45 Demonstrating Healthy Boundaries

36:06 Closing

Links

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Episode 43: A.I. and the Future of Therapy Feb 21, 2025

Show notes

Can AI ever replace the human connection at the heart of therapy, or are we losing something essential in the process?

I’m sitting down with my friend and colleague Dr. Sue Varma to talk about something that’s been on my mind. Artificial intelligence is making its way into mental health, offering quick answers and structured advice. But can it truly replace the depth of human interaction? Sue shares why the connection between a therapist and client isn’t just helpful. It’s the foundation of real change.

We also dig into some common misconceptions about therapy. Many people think it’s just talking instead of an active process of insight and growth. Sue introduces her “four M’s of mental health”—mindfulness, movement, meaningful engagement, and mastery. These simple habits help us stay grounded in an increasingly digital world.

As AI continues to reshape mental health care, how do we embrace new tools without losing what makes therapy work? Let’s get into it.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Introduction

03:09 Dr. Sue Varma’s Background and Book

04:21 AI in Mental Health: Introduction

05:04 Positives of AI in Mental Health

08:18 Concerns About AI and Human Connection

09:11 Cultural Sensitivity in AI Responses

11:12 Importance of Patient History in Therapy

14:02 Physical and Behavioral Observations in Therapy

17:02 Challenges of AI in Diagnosing Personality Disorders

20:02 Therapeutic Relationship and Rapport

23:10 Misconceptions About Therapy

26:03 Future of AI in Psychiatry and Psychology

27:06 Staying Grounded and Optimistic Amidst AI Advances

28:53 Four M’s of Mental Health

31:09 Closing

Links

Connect with Dr. Sue Varma:

IG, FB, Twitter: @doctorsuevarma

https://www.instagram.com/doctorsuevarma/

Website: www.doctorsuevarma.com

Practical Optimism https://amzn.to/4hQdrxT

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Episode 42: A Deep Dive Into the Diddy Docuseries Feb 14, 2025

Show notes

Power and control shaped Diddy’s rise, but did they also define a long-standing pattern of abuse? Emmy-winning journalist Mara S. Campo joins Dr. Z to unpack the allegations, the fallout, and what it means when survivors finally feel safe enough to speak out.

Mara, a contributor to the docuseries “Fall of Diddy,” shares what stood out most—the sheer weight of the stories, the patterns that surfaced long before fame, and the emotional toll of confronting uncomfortable truths. How do we reconcile admiration for a cultural icon with the reality of horrific accusations? What happens when the image we once celebrated no longer holds up?

This episode isn’t just about Diddy. It’s about the power dynamics that keep survivors silent, the fear that stops them from coming forward, and the cultural shift toward believing survivors.

Quotes

“When I first read Cassie’s lawsuit, I will say this is the worst civil suit I have ever read.” (05:11 | Mara S. Campo)
“My heart just breaks because I’m thinking about how young this woman was at the time. And now, I’m in my mid-40s, I’m a mom. And I just think about where I was at that place in my life when I was her age.” (08:44 | Mara S. Campo)
“I think a lot of times when we see these powerful men getting in trouble, people come forward with these awful allegations. Sometimes you have to wonder, was it the power in the money that maybe corrupted them or did that empower them to be able to behave in this way?” (11:23 | Mara S. Campo)
“There's kind of a grieving that takes place if you’re someone who loved Bad Boy and everything that it stood for and everything that it brought to the world. And for me, personally, that has absolutely been the case because I grew up on Bad Boy.” (23:15 | Mara S. Campo)
“It’s important not to discredit those who have the courage to come forward, to listen, to hear, and to really have a lot of compassion.” (27:21 | Mara S. Campo)
“The idea that there’s a statute of limitations on sexual assault to me is bananas. There should not be a statute of limitations on sexual assault because it takes victims years to process, to feel empowered enough to confront their abuser.” (31:10 | Mara S. Campo)

Links

The Fall of Diddy: https://www.max.com/shows/fall-of-diddy/a4d15a65-9071-43b9-abd8-ad905928743a

Connect with Mara S. Campo:

IG: @marascampo

https://www.instagram.com/marascampo/

TikTok: @marascampo

https://www.tiktok.com/@marascampo

YouTube: Mara S Campo

https://www.youtube.com/@MaraSCampo

Connect with Dr. Z:

https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Episode 41: Toxic Productivity with Israa Nasir Feb 07, 2025

Show notes

Toxic productivity convinces you that your worth is tied to achievement. But when does ambition turn into exhaustion?

Dr. Z sits down with psychotherapist and author Israa Nasir to talk about why so many people feel trapped in the endless pursuit of doing more. Israa explains how productivity has seeped into every part of life—relationships, self-worth, even rest—turning what should be fulfilling into something depleting. She breaks down how to recognize the signs of toxic productivity, why the inner critic fuels it, and what it takes to step off the hamster wheel without guilt.

They also explore the deeper forces at play, from family dynamics to cultural expectations, and challenge the belief that success means pushing harder at all costs. Israa shares ways to shift your mindset, including a simple life audit to reclaim your time and energy. And maybe the most surprising takeaway? Letting yourself just be “good enough” might be the key to a healthier, happier life!

Quotes

“Productivity doesn’t just refer to work. In our hustle-oriented world, productivity is a measure of love, relationships, personal health, personal growth. All of these domains of our life have been now kind of wrapped with this productivity-oriented mindset.” (04:33 | Israa Nasir)
“If your intention is arbitrary, outside, external, that is a big red flag that what you’re pursuing is unhealthy.” (07:48 | Israa Nasir)
“The inner critic is often trying to protect us from pain. Its methods are to scare you so that you don’t do anything. So the inner critic will terrify you of trying new things by telling you that you’re a failure. Because what it’s trying to do is protect you from the pain of putting yourself out there.” (24:03 | Israa Nasir)
“We are so friggin’ dynamic. Like we are these multifaceted, complex-brained individuals on this earth... and we’re all just like, ‘Oh no, I have to be married before 30.’ What a distillation of a beautiful, beautiful life that we’ve been given.” (36:16 | Israa Nasir)
“Can you embrace being mediocre somewhere? Can you find a good enough point for everything? Just a good enough point for this email, a good enough point for the workout, a good enough point for the type of friendships you have. Find the good enough point, and then anything beyond that is extra.” (45:27 | Israa Nasir)

Links

Connect with Israa Nasir:

www.israanasir.com

Toxic Productivity:https://amzn.to/3C8e9Yg

Follow on IG: https://www.instagram.com/well.guide/

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Episode 40: The Narcissist’s Family Tree Jan 31, 2025

Show notes

A narcissistic parent’s love is often conditional, forcing the child into roles like the golden child or scapegoat child, with often devastating emotional consequences. In this episode, Dr. Z explores how these roles are defined, how they shift over time, and the impact they have on self identity and relationship dynamics.

The golden child is often the one who is praised and favored. Not out of love, but because they meet the narcissist’s needs and demands—until they don’t. The scapegoat child, meanwhile, shoulders the blame and accountability for those in the family, constantly striving for validation that never comes. These roles, as Dr. Z reveals, aren’t static; they can shift based on the parent’s changing demands, creating further confusion and harm.

Dr. Z sheds light on how to break free from these toxic dynamics. Through boundaries, therapy, and reclaiming your narrative, it’s possible to build a healthier, more independent sense of self. If you’re someone who’s navigating the complexities of a narcissistic parent-child relationship, this episode offers clarity, empathy, and tools to take the first step forward.

Quotes

“A narcissist does not love their children in the way that you and I think about loving our children. It is not unconditional. It is very much conditional.” (06:00 | Dr. Z)
“The golden child isn’t the child that’s loved the most. In fact, it has nothing to do with that. They’re not loved the most. They’re not really loved in the way that you and I think so.” (07:01 | Dr. Z)
“The scapegoat child is always responsible for managing the parent’s emotions. The scapegoat child is responsible for pretty much ‘anything that goes wrong.’” (19:13 | Dr. Z)
“Once you realize that the narrative you have been sold is not yours to own, the narcissist loses an incredible amount of control and power over you that they will never get back. Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.” (27:01 | Dr. Z)
“There is a difference between having a toxic relationship with your parent, because you don’t get along, you don’t see eye to eye, you butt heads, you have different values, different opinions, different morals even. There’s a difference with that. And what goes on with a narcissistic parent, they are different.” (33:21 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Episode 39: No, Not Everyone is a Narcissist Jan 24, 2025

Show notes

When everyone’s a “narcissist,” what happens to the voices of those truly living through narcissistic abuse? Dr. Z unpacks the misuse of terms like “narcissist” and “narcissistic personality disorder” and how this trend erodes their meaning, which leaves survivors feeling silenced and misunderstood. She explains how narcissistic abuse often hides behind charm and subtle manipulation, making it harder to recognize, and even harder to explain.

How do we spot the red flags? How do we support others without dismissing their pain? Dr. Z answers these questions with clarity, compassion, and insights that will help you better understand this misunderstood topic.

Quotes

“I need people to understand that when somebody has narcissistic personality disorder, the abuse that goes on in those relationships is on a level that you will not be able to understand unless you have gone through it yourself or unless you specialize in treating it.” (06:27 | Dr. Z)
“Narcissists are all abusive. Somebody with narcissistic personality disorder is always going to be abusive, whether it’s physical, sexual, financial, emotional, psychological, it doesn’t matter, but they will always be abusive. Not everybody who’s toxic is a narcissist.” (07:24 | Dr. Z)
“Please don’t minimize the stories of others because you don’t understand. You don’t need to understand to be supportive.” (16:21 | Dr. Z)
“Love bombing isn’t always a dozen roses every day or luxurious gifts. It’s basically whatever you value most, whatever you’re most passionate about—that is what the narcissist is going to attach onto in the beginning of the relationship.” (17:55 | Dr. Z)
“You are not obligated to stay connected to somebody who not only is abusive, but who knows they’re abusive and doesn’t care that it’s hurting you as long as they get their needs met.” (32:21 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Shop the Dr. Z x StickerBeans Collab that gives back to The Mental Health Coalition: https://stickerbeans.com/collections/new-stickers/products/be-you-set-of-3?variant=45650452119801

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

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Episode 38: Navigating the Narcissist's Playbook with Mark Vicente Jan 17, 2025

Show notes

Narcissists don’t just take what they want—they dismantle their targets in the process.

In this episode, Dr. Z welcomes filmmaker and author Mark Vicente to discuss the dark realities of narcissistic abuse and its psychological aftermath. Known for his work on HBO’s “The Vow” and his upcoming documentary “Empathy Not Included: The Narcissist’s Playbook,” Mark sheds light on the manipulative behaviors of narcissists, the vulnerabilities they exploit, and the emotional fallout experienced by the survivors of their abuse.

Mark reflects on his personal journey of healing after being entangled with NXIVM, offering profound insight into how narcissists mirror their victims' deepest desires and vulnerabilities as a means to control them. He also unpacks the chilling reality of how some narcissists knowingly cause harm—and sometimes even revel in it.

Dr. Z and Mark touch on the broader implications of narcissism in society, from media manipulation to cultural denial of the harm narcissists can cause. Whether you’re seeking to understand narcissistic abuse or rebuild after trauma, this episode offers a compassionate and empowering perspective.

Quotes

"One of the things I learned as I began learning about what narcissism is and is not, I recognize that there was a certain place that people bumped up against. Most normal empathic people cannot imagine that these people exist." (04:47 | Mark Vicente)
“They were doing the work of masking the evil. And this is what we do. We don't want to live in that world because we want to live in this kind of fairy tale where good things happen to good people. To have it be true that there is a version of evil that's not like a Disney version, like a really, really dark version is so destabilizing to the psyche.” (09:56 | Mark Vicente)
“The thing about psychopaths that's so interesting is that they analyze us very unemotionally. and they learn about the way our data works, so to speak." (16:15 | Mark Vicente)
“People sometimes can't tell, they think it's excitement and it is, but sometimes that excitement is tinged with fear and desperation. And I always say when you're in that state with somebody, especially at the beginning, run. Because your cognitive thinking is going offline.” (20:26 | Mark Vicente)
“When you're mapping the mind of an insane person, it does damage to you. And when you're mapping a psychopath, it's very confusing. It starts to do a lot of bad things to you internally, psychologically.” (26:11 | Mark Vicente)
“I think feeling like a victim is a good phase. I think rage is so important. I mean, I can't tell you how many people, when we were waking up, I feel like there were certain psychologists who didn't understand how this worked, that would say things to us like, your anger's not sustainable. And I was like, it's sustainable as long as I need it.” (53:37 | Mark Vicente)

Links

Connect with Mark Vicente:

https://www.markvicente.com/

https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/

https://x.com/markvicente

https://www.empathynotincluded.com/

https://www.instagram.com/empathynotincluded/

Podcast: WTF is on my Mind?! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wtf-is-on-my-mind/id1646783869

YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7

Connect with Dr. Z:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/