More than Roommates

Latest Episodes:

Episode 34 - It's That Marriage Q&A (feat. Jonathan "JP" Pokluda) Jul 18, 2023

Show notes

Hey Podcast World! In this episode of More Than Roommates, Jonathan "JP" Pokluda, Lead Pastor of Harris Creek and Host of the Becoming Something Podcast, joins Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott for some marriage Q&A. We discussed trends in marriage, what JP is learning in his own marriage, and how to prioritize your marriage in the midst of the busyness of life.

Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda

Why Do I Do What I Don't Want to Do?, by JP

Scriptures: 1 Peter 3:7, PR 18:22, Matthew 5:27-28

Questions to Discuss:

1. What's the biggest challenge you're facing in your current season of marriage?

2. What are you learning about marriage right now?

3. How do you and your spouse make decisions about what to prioritize?

Episode 33 - Why Does Prayer Matter in Marriage? (feat. Jodie Berndt) Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek and Scott interview author and speaker Jodie Berndt about her new book, Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage. We talk about how to pray for your marriage, what to do if your spouse doesn’t want to pray with you, and how you can best pursue the Lord together in marriage.

Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage

Jodie’s Website

Follow Jodie on Instagram.

31 Days of Prayer for your marriage

Questions to Discuss:

1. How are you and your spouse doing at praying for your marriage?

2. What are some specific ways you can pray for your spouse today? For your marriage today?

3. Check out Jodie’s new book – it’s an excellent resource for every couple and would make a great wedding gift (Hardcover Edition)!

Episode 32 - Are You and Your Spouse Aligned in Your Sexual Expectations? (Part 3 of 3 in a series o Jul 04, 2023

Show notes

In Part 3 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss two more barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss sexual expectations (sexpectations) and unresolved pain, sin, or struggles. We hope this 3-Part series has helped you have some needed conversations about intimacy.

Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Rethinking Sexuality, by Juli Slattery

#4 - We all have unmet expectations

1. How satisfied am I sexually?

2. How satisfied is my spouse sexually?

3. Where are our sexual expectations aligned?

4. Where are they different?

5. Do I feel a freedom to share my desires sexually?

6. What are some barriers or insecurities that prevent me from sharing with my spouse?

#5 - We have unresolved or unconfessed pain, sex, and struggles

1. Have I worked through any sexual hurts/addictions/habits?

2. What do I need to confess or share with my spouse?

3. Do I have a right view of intimacy?

Episode 31 - Too Busy to Get Busy (Part 2 of 3 in a series on marital intimacy) Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

In Part 2 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss three barriers to intimacy couples often face. We discuss the importance of working on our marriages, communicating well, and how schedule and busyness affect marital intimacy.

Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

#1 - We’re not willing to work hard on our marriage.

1. On a scale of 1-10 (1-horrible, 10-perfection), how would I rate our marriage?

2. How would I rate our sex life?

3. What would it take to increase our numbers?

#2- We don’t communicate (in general and about sex)

1. How are we honestly doing in our day-to-day communication?

2. Is there any unresolved conflict?

3. Why is it difficult for us to talk about sexual intimacy?

#3 - We’re too busy to get busy

1. What in our schedule prevents us from being more intentional sexually?

2. When is the last time I pursued my spouse romantically and sexually?

Episode 30 - What Does It Look Like To Be a Lifelong Learner In Your Marriage? Jun 23, 2023

Show notes

One of the biggest challenges most couples face is that they become complacent in marriage and stop making efforts to learn more about themselves, their spouse, and marriage. In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek (Jan, 2023), Scott Kedersha shares what it looks like to be a lifelong learner in marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. When you first started dating each other, what did you do to learn more about your significant other?

2. What is one practical step you can take today to be a better student of your spouse?

3. Challenge: You and your spouse each come up with 2 questions to ask each other. Make time on your calendar to ask each other your questions.

Episode 29 - How Can You Think Rightly About Sex and Marriage? (Part 1 of 3) Jun 20, 2023

Show notes

In Part 1 of this 3-part series on sex and marriage, Scott, Gabrielle, and Derek discuss how to have a healthy and right view of sex and marriage. We all bring baggage and challenges into marriage when it comes to sex, but if we want to have a healthy sex life, then we must learn how to think rightly about it.

Married Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta

Questions to Discuss

1. What were some fears you had about sex before you got married?

2. Do you believe you and your spouse have a healthy view of sex and marriage? Why or why not?

3. How would you and your spouse rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10? Why did you answer the way you did?

Episode 28 - What Does It Look Like To Be On Mission In Your Marriage? Jun 16, 2023

Show notes

Marriages either have the wrong mission or no mission at all. What would it look for you to be on mission in your marriage? In this main stage session from the Behind the Scenes Marriage Conference at Harris Creek, Derek and Kellie Davidson share what it looks like to be on mission together in your marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. How are you doing in being/living on mission in your marriage?

2. Are you willing to live at a cost while on mission in marriage?

3. What is God asking of your marriage and your family?

Episode 27 - How Can You Celebrate Your Spouse Well? Jun 13, 2023

Show notes

What does it look like to celebrate your spouse well? Instead of competing with each other, what would it look like for you to consistently celebrate them. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss practical ways to rejoice with and celebrate your spouse.

Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman

Five Love Languages Quiz

Questions to Discuss:

1. How do you do at celebrating each other?

2. What’s one way you can celebrate your spouse today? Now go do it!

3. Do you focus more on your spouse’s flaws or do you focus on ways you can celebrate and encourage them?

Episode 26 - What are the Dangers and Benefits of Comparison in Marriage? Jun 09, 2023

Show notes

In this bonus episode of More Than Roommates, we share a talk Alison Treadaway gave at Harris Creek’s marriage conference in January 2023. In this talk, Alison talks about the pitfalls and benefits of comparison in marriage. It's what we do with comparison that matters!

Questions to Discuss:

1. How is comparison in marriage holding you back and potentially even building resentment?

2. What leads you to compare yourself, your spouse, or your marriage to others?

3. What's one thing your spouse does so well? Encourage them in one way they are beyond comparison!

Episode 25 - Hard Conversations in Marriage and How to Do Them Well Jun 06, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how and why to have hard conversations with your spouse. Most couples struggle with hard conversations because of things like pride and defensiveness. But, when we do this well, it can strengthen our marriage in every way!

Shownotes:

One Conversation with My Son that Left Me Speechless.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Why is it difficult to have hard conversations in our marriage?

2. What’s the best time for us to have hard conversations?

3. How can we make our marriage a safer place for hard conversations?