More than Roommates

Latest Episodes:

Episode 44 - What to do When Your Spouse Annoys You Sep 26, 2023

Show notes

It’s inevitable for every married couple that you will walk through times when your spouse annoys you. What do you do in these situations – overlook it, pray about it, talk to them about it, talk to others about it? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and I Gabrielle discuss what to do when your spouse annoys you.

Scriptures:

James 4:1

Matthew 7:3-5

Proverbs 19:11

1 Corinthians 13:5

Shownotes:

Episode 25 of More Than Roommates - How to Have Hard Conversations and How to Do Them Well

Questions to Discuss:

What do you do that annoys your spouse? What does your spouse do that annoys you?

Keep track of your spouse’s rights today, not their wrongs. Tell your spouse something you appreciate and value about them.

Pray that God would help you overlook any small offenses and that He would help you love your spouse as the Lord loves you.

Episode 43 - The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships (feat. Dave Willis) Sep 19, 2023

Show notes

In-Laws and family of origin often get a bad reputation, and our relationship with our families is often a major stressor in marriage. In this week’s episode, Derek and Scott interview podcaster, speaker, and author Dave Willis. Dave and his wife Ashley host the very popular podcast, The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley Willis. We’re confident this episode will both help and entertain you as we discuss how to have healthy relationships with your in-laws.

Scriptures:

Romans 12:18

Genesis 2:25

Ruth 1:16-17

Shownotes:

Dave & Ashley’s new book - Married into the Family: The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships

XO Marriage

Podcast - The Naked Marriage with Dave & Ashley Willis

Dave & Ashley on Instagram

Questions to Discuss:

How is your relationship with your parents/family of origin? In-laws? What can you do today to improve these relationships?

When you have issues/challenges in your marriage, who do you first turn to—friends, the Lord, your parents?

Episode 42 - When’s the Right Time To Grow Your Family? Sep 12, 2023

Show notes

We’re answering our most frequently asked questions! When do you start trying to grow your family? How many kids should you have? What if you want kids but can’t get pregnant? How should couples view children? Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott answer these questions and more in this week’s new episode of More Than Roommates.

Scriptures:

Genesis 1:27-28

Psalm 127:3-5

James 1:17

Matthew 19:12

Matthew 28:19-20

Show Notes:

Blog Post: How to Change the World: Raise a Godly Young Man

Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda (Podcast) – Should I Want to Have Kids? And How Many?

Resources for those walking through infertility:

Website - Watermark Community Church in Dallas has compiled some helpful resources through their Shiloh Ministry.

Book - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility

Other couples – the best resource is to find another couple who has walked this road.

Questions to discuss:

How do you view children? As a burden or a blessing? (Answer with honesty)

Are you and your spouse aligned in how you view children?

How did you know when to start trying to grow your family?

Episode 41 - Why Busyness Might Destroy Your Marriage (feat. Gary Thomas) Sep 05, 2023

Show notes

Busyness is one of the biggest challenges to marriages and we don’t even realize it. It’s the sucker punch and silent killer of many relationships that affects every part of our lives. In this episode of More Than Roommates, pastor and author Gary Thomas joins Scott & Derek as we discuss busyness and marriage. Gary is the author of more than 20 books and serves on the teaching team at Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch, CO.

Scriptures:

Ephesians 6:12

Psalm 90:12

Shownotes:

Sacred Pathways

Making Your Marriage a Fortress

Gary’s Website – Garythomas.com

Blog post - One Thing We Like to do for Our Marriage Every Week

Questions to discuss:

Do you know what’s going on in each other’s lives? When’s the last time you checked to see how your spouse is really doing?

How can busyness destroy your marriage? How do you know if you’re too busy in your marriage?

What relational skill can you work on this year?

Episode 40 - The Impact of Gender Roles in Marriage (Part 2 in a series on roles) Aug 29, 2023

Show notes

In this episode (Part 2 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what practical implications of what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss how biblical roles play out in marriage with specific examples from our own marriages.

Scriptures:

Proverbs 18:2, Phil 2:3-4, Romans 12:10, 1 Corinthians 12

Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.

From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?

From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?

From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real Marriage

Must Wives Submit to Husbands?

From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian Positions

Questions to discuss:

1) Read 1 Corinthians 12 and discuss with your spouse. What gifts do you each have? What are some ways you each uniquely strengthen your marriage?

2) How can you encourage your spouse in the role they play in your marriage?

Episode 39 - What Does the Bible Say about Marital Roles? (Part 1) Aug 22, 2023

Show notes

In this episode (Part 1 of a 2-part series), Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what the Bible says about roles in marriage. We discuss different views on marital roles, and even share some of our own different views on this topic. Roles are often misunderstood and abused, so we all need to think (and act) rightly on this topic.

Scriptures:

Ephesians 5:22-28, Genesis 1:26-27, 2:28, 3:16; John 14:26; Mark 10:42-45

Resources - We’re including more resources that normal since we know this is a topic about which many husbands and wives have questions.

From God Questions - What is egalitarianism?

From Got Questions - What is complementarianism?

From Harris Creek – a Message from JP - Real Marriage

Must Wives Submit to Husbands?

From the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood - Summaries of the Egalitarian and Complementarian Positions

Questions to discuss:

1) How did your upbringing affect your views on roles in marriage?

2) How are you doing at serving each other?

3) How do you make big decisions in your marriage?

Episode 38 - Healthy Patterns of Couples Who Thrive, Part 2 (feat. Byron & Carla Weathersbee) Aug 15, 2023

Show notes

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share three more patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 2 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. We discuss resilience, unity, and spiritual intimacy.

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 7:28, John 16:33, 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 3:1-2, Luke 6:47-49

Questions to discuss:

1) How do you deal with your differences and the small things that frustrate you about your spouse?

2) What’s one small step you and your spouse can take to grow in spiritual intimacy?

Sacred Pathways, by Gary Thomas

To Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee

Legacy Family Ministries

Together: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

Episode 37 - Healthy Patterns of Couples Who Thrive, Part 1 (feat. Byron & Carla Weathersbee) Aug 08, 2023

Show notes

In Part 1 of this 2-part series, Byron & Carla Weathersbee, founders of Legacy Family Ministries, share patterns they’ve observed in couples who thrive in marriage. They share from their own 39 years of marriage and 28 years of full-time marriage ministry. This is Part 1 in 2-Part series from the Weathersbees. In this episode, Byron and Carla discuss the importance of both loving and liking your spouse. Part 2 coming next Tuesday! (8/15/23)

Scriptures:

1 Corinthians 13:5

Questions to Discuss:

1) What do you do to play and have fun in your marriage?

2) How can you show more gratitude to your spouse?

To Have and To Hold: Preparing for a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee

Legacy Family Ministries

Together: Building a Godly Marriage, by Byron & Carla Weathersbee, Amy Castello

Episode 36 - Questions Couples Ask Before Marriage (feat. Nate Hilgenkamp) Aug 01, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of More Than Roommates, we’re joined by Nate Hilgenkamp, one of the co-hosts of the podcast, Becoming Something with Jonathan Pokluda. We discuss questions couples ask before marriage on topics such as purity, sex, conflict, and more. If you’re already married, be encouraged in your own married and share this episode with friends who are dating and engaged.

Scriptures:

2 Corinthians 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:1-2, Ephesians 5:3, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Romans 13:14, Romans 8:1

Resources:

Outdated, by Jonathan “JP” Pokluda

Ready or Knot, by Scott Kedersha

The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott Kedersha

Questions to Discuss:

1) Whether married or single, how can you grow in personal and relational purity?

2) How well do you and your significant other resolve conflict?

3) What dating and engaged couples can you share this episode with?

Episode 35 - How to Identify the 4 Negative Horsemen of Communication and Conflict Jul 25, 2023

Show notes

What are the 4 Horsemen of communication and conflict? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss four negative patterns all couples need to watch out for and remove—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by Dr. John M. Gottman

Scriptures Referenced:

Philippians 2:14, Proverbs 21:19, James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5, 1 Timothy 1:15

Questions to Discuss:

1. How can you fight back against being overly critical of your spouse?

2. Text your spouse right now and tell them one reason why you’re grateful for them.

3. With which one of the four horsemen do you most readily identity with? What can you do to minimize this negative behavior in your marriage?