More than Roommates

Latest Episodes:

Episode 190- More Than Us: Leveraging Your Marriage for God's Kingdom Jul 21, 2026

Show notes

Most couples think about selfishness as an individual problem, but what if a marriage itself can become inward-focused? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what it means to steward your marriage for God's glory, leverage your resources for the Kingdom, and move from keeping score to living on mission together.

Discussion Questions

1- When we honestly evaluate our marriage, are we more inward-focused or Kingdom-focused? If someone observed our marriage for a month, would they conclude we're living on mission?

Where do we tend to keep score against each other?

2- Which area are we stewarding well? Not well? Time, Money, Resources, Health, Gifts

3- Who outside our family is being impacted by our marriage?

4- What is one practical step we could take this month to better leverage our marriage for God's Kingdom?

Episode 189- How to have Healthy Conflict Jul 14, 2026

Show notes

Conflict is inevitable in marriage, but it doesn't have to be destructive. In this episode, Derek, Andrew, and Gabrielle discuss how to move from unhealthy patterns of defensiveness and scorekeeping toward biblical reconciliation, healthy communication, and deeper intimacy.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- When conflict arises, do you naturally move toward fight, flight, or freeze?

- Which unhealthy conflict pattern shows up most often in your marriage?

- What family-of-origin experiences influence the way you handle disagreement?

- How would your conflicts change if your mindset became "How do we win?" instead of "How do I win?"

- Do you have trusted people in your life who can help mediate conflict when needed?

- Is there an unresolved conflict that needs a conversation this week?

RESOURCES:

The Thing Beneath the Thing by Steve Carter

Harris Creek sermon series: "Conflicted"

Episode 188- God's Beautiful Vision for Sex ft. Mick Murray Jul 07, 2026

Show notes

Sex is one of the most talked-about topics in culture, but can be one of the least understood topics in the church.

This week, Derek and Gabrielle sit down with pastor and author Mick Murray to discuss God's beautiful vision for sexuality, how sin distorts intimacy, why marriage doesn't automatically heal sexual brokenness, and how couples can pursue greater intimacy, healing, and freedom together.

RESOURCES

Books

- A Beautiful Vision by Mick Murray

Podcasts

- Meditations (Mick Murray)

- Ideology (Mick Murray)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- What messages about sex did you learn growing up?

- Have we ever treated sex primarily as self-serving rather than self-giving?

- Are there unspoken expectations about intimacy that we need to discuss?

- What barriers currently keep us from greater emotional intimacy?

- How can we invite God more intentionally into this area of our marriage?

Episode 187- Keeping Marriage Healthy while Traveling for Work Jun 30, 2026

Show notes

When one spouse travels regularly for work, it puts unique pressure on a marriage. From loneliness and temptation to resentment and drift, there are lots of potential issues it can create. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott Kedersha get honest about what it really takes to keep a marriage thriving when work keeps pulling you apart.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- If one of you travels regularly for work, how well have you built communication rhythms that actually work for both of you — not just the one traveling?

- Scott talked about picking up the phone even when he'd rather not. Where in your marriage right now are you letting your own preference win over what your spouse needs?

- What temptations are most likely to come up for you specifically when you're isolated — and have you named those out loud to anyone?

- Scott said distance will exasperate any existing unhealth in a marriage, not heal it. Before taking or keeping a job that requires heavy travel, how honest are you being about the current state of your marriage?

- If you are the spouse who stays home: does your traveling spouse know specifically what would help you feel most supported before they leave and while they're gone?

- When your spouse returns from a trip, what does re-entry look like in your home — and is there anything you could do to make that transition healthier?

- Scott gave a shout-out to Kristen for holding things down at home. When did you last genuinely thank your spouse for their specific role in your marriage — whether they travel or stay home?

Episode 186- Your Body, Your Marriage: A Biblical Take on Body-Altering Decisions Jun 23, 2026

Show notes

From GLP-1s to Botox to testosterone therapy, body-altering decisions are more normalized than ever, but what does it actually look like to process those decisions as a married couple through a Biblical lens? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew tackle the theology behind how we think about our bodies and why those decisions are never just about you.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- When it comes to decisions about your body — diet, supplements, cosmetic procedures, medical interventions — do you tend to make those decisions together or independently? Why?

- Andrew mentioned that working out became an idol for him at one point. Are there any areas of health or appearance where you sense you might be seeking something beyond physical wellbeing?

- Gabrielle shared that she had gotten into careless patterns with her appearance without thinking about why. Are there any habits you have around your body or appearance that you've never really examined?

- Derek mentioned that influences around us constantly try to make us discontent with how we look. Who or what are you allowing to shape how you feel about your body — and is it trustworthy?

- Is there any area of your body or health that feels like an "off-limits" topic in your marriage — something you wouldn't want your spouse to weigh in on? What might that be telling you?

- Cooper wrote scriptures in the shower for Gabrielle during a season of body insecurity. How are you actively speaking truth over your spouse in the way they feel about themselves?

Episode 185- Navigating Addiction in Marriage Jun 16, 2026

Show notes

Addiction doesn't stay self-contained — especially in a marriage. In this honest and pastorally rich conversation, Derek, Gabrielle, and John Elmore talk about how to recognize addiction, what it does to a marriage, and what courageous, biblical steps actually look like for both the addict and the spouse who loves them.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- John described the difference between being "enslaved" to something versus "occasionally enticed" by it. Using that framework, is there anything in your life right now that feels more like enslavement than struggle?

- John mentioned several "Ds" of addiction: duration, depth, deceit, destruction, defensiveness, dependency. Are any of those present in your life or your marriage in ways worth naming?

- Gabrielle shared that when asked to give up Diet Coke for a year, her reaction surprised her. Is there anything in your life where the thought of giving it up produces a stronger reaction than you'd expect?

- John said that "struggling" looks like confessing, feeling convicted, and moving toward accountability — while addiction looks like enjoyment despite destruction. Which of those better describes your relationship with your hardest habit?

- If your spouse gently raised a concern about something you're running to, how would you honestly respond — and what might that response reveal?

- For the spouse walking alongside an addict: have you carried this alone, or have you brought others in? Who could you call this week?

RESOURCES

- Freedom Starts Today by John Elmore

Episode 184- Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage Jun 09, 2026

Show notes

Spiritual intimacy is one of those things every Christian couple knows they're supposed to have — but what does it actually look like day to day? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew get honest about the barriers, the breakthroughs, and the simple practical steps that can help couples grow closer to each other by growing closer to God.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- What expectations did you bring into marriage about what spiritual intimacy would look like — and how has reality compared?

- On a scale of 1–10, how would you rate where you are in spiritual intimacy right now? What's one thing contributing to that number?

- What does your individual walk with God look like right now? Are you in a full season or a dry season — and does your spouse know?

- Andrew mentioned that bitterness and unresolved conflict make it hard to pray together. Is there anything between you right now that needs to be cleared before you can go to God together?

- What's one thing God has been teaching you lately that you haven't shared with your spouse yet?

- What's one practical rhythm — praying together, a shared devotional, asking better questions — you could try this week?

Episode 183- Did I Marry the Wrong Person? Jun 02, 2026

Show notes

At some point, almost every married person has had the thought: did I marry the wrong person? In this honest and hopeful conversation, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott unpack where that feeling comes from — unmet expectations, comparison, cultural lies — and what to actually do when it shows up.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- What expectations did you bring into marriage that didn't match reality — and where did those expectations come from?

- In what areas do you find yourself comparing your spouse or your marriage to others? How does that comparison affect your contentment?

- Scott mentioned that part of the feeling often comes from something in us — selfishness, unrealistic expectations — not just our spouse. Where do you see that in yourself?

- What are three specific things you're genuinely grateful for in your spouse right now? Have you told them recently?

- What are some things you did early in your relationship that raised the attraction level — and how could you bring some of those back?

- Is there something you've been feeling disconnected about that you haven't fully said out loud yet? What would it look like to bring that to your spouse this week?

Episode 182- From Contempt to Celebration: Honoring Your Spouse's Differences May 26, 2026

Show notes

The differences that drew you to your spouse in dating can become the very things that drive you crazy in marriage — but what if they didn't have to? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew talk honestly about what it looks like to move from contempt toward genuine celebration of the spouse God gave you.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

- What differences first attracted you to your spouse — and have any of those become sources of frustration over time?

- Where do you tend toward contempt rather than celebration when your spouse does things differently than you would?

- What's one specific difference in your spouse that you could choose to reframe with gratitude this week?

- How do you currently discern, in your marriage, between a difference that's just a preference and one that has crossed into a sinful pattern?

- Who in your life — friends, community, mentors — do you trust to speak honestly into your marriage when conflict keeps coming up?

- What would it look like practically for you to pray for God's eyes toward your spouse this week?

Episode 181- How to Deal with Divorce in Family of Origin May 19, 2026

Show notes

In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss how your family of origin—especially experiences of divorce or relational brokenness—can shape your expectations, fears, and habits in marriage. But Scripture makes it clear: your past may influence you, but it does not define your future.

Discussion Questions

- What messages about marriage did you absorb from your family growing up—spoken or unspoken?

- Do you notice any fears in your marriage that might be rooted in your family of origin?

In what ways are you tempted to repeat patterns you saw growing up—or overcorrect them?

- How can you intentionally build “truth-based theology” about marriage instead of experience-based beliefs?

- Where have you already seen God bring redemption or healing into your family story?

Resources

Flawed Families of the Bible: How God's Grace Works through Imperfect Relationships - David and Diana Garland

Merge Marriage Ministry

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