As a mom, it's completely normal to crave and need breaks from our children so we can rest, reset, and fill our own cups. But it's also not unusual for us to miss them the instant we leave the house. Feeling these things doesn't mean we shouldn't take the breaks.
I personally really struggle to be away from my motherhood role. I allow it to consume me completely and am definitely guilty of putting myself on the back burner sometimes.
Why do we beat ourselves up for feeling any of these things? Can we not just trust our intuitions and validate our own feelings without worrying about how something is perceived or what someone else has to say about it?
What we have to remember is that these things all exist by perfect design...and we feel them on PURPOSE.
If you dive into the research on mothers and children, analyzing the psychology behind all of it. our rollercoaster of emotions are all validated. Specifically, studies performed in 2019 looked into attachment patterns between mothers and their children, why they exist, and what "typical" responses were. You see, the attachments we have to our child or children begin to have influence in the womb.
And what they find is that these attachments, in place to drive us to instinctually protect and care for our children, serve more purposes than I could even discuss in one podcast. Developing secure attachments to our children relieves distress on both sides, restores physiological homeostasis, and it encourages safe and healthy exploration in our children. These strong attachments lead to us, as mothers, being pre-wired to feel anxiety or tension when distance is created between us. All of these things were designed perfectly this way and impact our children for their lifetime.
WOAH.
I think we can all agree motherhood is an all consuming role. Therefore, it's normal to crave a reset. It's also normal to mourn separation.
It's. All. Normal.
You better take a break before YOU break.
Because that kind of exhaustion is no badge of honor, mama.
Give yourself permission to take a break, but validate yourself that you can feel sad to be away from your children and STILL need that break. It's actually empowering to recognize and provide yourself with that time when needed. As moms, we should encourage each other to take the breaks rather than running ourselves into the ground, which we all know our entire household pays for.
If you don't have a village, let us help you create one.
And mama, if the thought of stepping away isn't something you're ready for yet, THAT'S OKAY, TOO.
Let's normalize that we all have motherly instincts and are doing the best we can and put a stop to having opinions about how another mama should live out this chapter.
No matter what side you sit on, I think you're doing absolutely amazing and I hope you know that you deserve a break when you need it.
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