MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

Hyperfocus: Two lifelong friends, two very different ADHD stories Oct 31, 2024

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Rae Jacobson has been friends with Katherine Martinelli since they were 6. In the classroom, they were polar opposites: Katherine, a star student; Rae, scrambling and struggling with then-undiagnosed ADHD and dyscalculia.

As they grew older, they both became mothers and professional writers and editors. Rae got diagnosed and found the support and systems that worked for her.

When, well into their 30s, Katherine called to say she'd been diagnosed with ADHD, Rae was shocked: “My queen of competence has ADHD?”

On this episode of Hyperfocus, Rae digs into what made her and Katherine’s ADHD experiences so vastly different.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:56) Martinelli’s diagnosis
(07:27) Memories of Rae in school
(11:39) Hyperfocusing and other early signs
(15:39) “Am I an ADHD imposter?”

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: When ambition doesn’t match output Oct 29, 2024

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

Have you ever made big plans for the day but ended up doing nothing on that list? The trouble with executive function that comes with ADHD can make planning, and actually starting on those plans difficult.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on this very scenario. Listen to Jaye’s tips for managing our motivation and making progress.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:40) Farah’s quote

(02:54) ADHD and planning

(04:22) ADHD and context switching

(06:10) “The whole day” might not be as free as it seems

(09:08) What can we do to help?

(12:27) Recap

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast channel page at Understood.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: Using the Wheel of Consent to understand and express desire with Betty Martin Oct 24, 2024

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

Consent is an agreement that people reach together. It can get a bit tricky with people-pleasing and black and white thinking — two things that can often come up with ADHD. The Wheel of Consent can help.

This week, host Cate Osborn welcomes Betty Martin to the show. Betty is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent. Join Betty and Cate as they break down the Wheel of Consent and why it can be a great tool for ADHDers.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:00) Introduction to the Wheel of Consent

(03:08) What is consent?

(08:25) What does the Wheel of Consent do?

(10:25) Redefining “receiving” and “giving”

(12:21) ADHD, and talking about consent

(17:34) How to figure out what you actually want

(23:14) The 3-minute game

(29:26) “Putting up with” touch

(31:26) The “shadow sides” of the Wheel of Consent

(35:17) Where you can find Betty and more Wheel of Consent resources

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Hormones Oct 22, 2024

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

Picture this: As your menstrual cycle approaches, you notice a shift in your mood and focus. One moment you feel productive, clear-headed, and on top of your ADHD. The next moment your concentration slips away.

Hormonal changes can turn everyday routines into huge challenges for women with ADHD. In this episode, listen as Dr. Monica Johnson explores how hormonal fluctuations can heighten ADHD symptoms. Learn key hormones that can impact mood and focus. And get tips on how to manage ADHD and hormonal changes effectively.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:55) What are hormones?

(01:35) Does research show a connection between ADHD and hormones?

(02:38) How does ADHD impact the menstrual cycle?

(04:11) How to manage ADHD and hormonal changes effectively

(05:04) How diet and exercise play a role

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hyperfocus: Did my ADHD make me more likely to have postpartum depression? Oct 17, 2024

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

Rae had heard that there was a link between ADHD and postpartum depression. But with a tiny baby to care for and a life to navigate, she had more pressing things to deal with.

But the question kept bugging her: Does ADHD make you more likely to have postpartum depression?

This week on Hyperfocus, Rae finally gets some answers to questions she has had for years. Her guest is Dr. Catherine Birndorf, a reproductive psychiatrist, co-founder of The Motherhood Center, and an expert on postpartum mood disorders.

Related resources

Timestamps

(02:55) ADHD as a postpartum concern

(09:47) PMADs: Not just the ‘baby blues’

(14:21) What can struggling parents do?

(21:07) Medication and pregnancy

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: The downsides of “making it work” Oct 15, 2024

If you like this show, consider making a donation this holiday season. 100% of your donation will go towards helping us create more podcasts (like this one!). Click here to make a gift today.

People may assume that an ADHDer doesn’t struggle with something because it looks easy from the outside. Though they may be feeling challenged, they’re masking, or “making it work,” to get something done.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote about how “making it work” can lead to anxiety and depression. It can also make it easy to dismiss your own needs for support and accommodations. Listen for some tips that can help.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:42) Emily’s quote

(02:24) Jaye’s reaction

(03:40) Pressure to mask due to shame

(05:54) When others make assumptions about you because you’re masking

(08:33) Why we might have a hard time asking for help

(10:18) What can we do when we find ourselves in this masking trap?

(14:32) Recap

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast channel page at Understood.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Coming soon: “Hyperfocus” with Rae Jacobson Oct 14, 2024

Hey MissUnderstood listeners! We’ve got a new show coming soon to our channel.

Hyperfocus is a show that zeroes in on what fascinates us about ADHD, learning, and mental health. Join journalist Rae Jacobson as she tackles big questions like, “Why can’t I get my ADHD meds? Who exactly gets to define a diagnosis? And can ADHD make postpartum depression worse?”

New episodes launch every other Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: ADHD, sensory systems, and communication Oct 10, 2024

Do you not notice that you’re hungry until you’re raging? Do you bump into things constantly? These are just two examples of how our sensory systems can affect those of us with ADHD. And they have a lot more to do with communication than you might think.

This week, author of ADHD & Us and licensed clinical social worker Anita Robertson breaks down the three hidden sensory systems. Join Anita and Cate as they talk about how these can affect relationships with ADHD, and share some tools that can help.

Related resources

Interoception and sensory processing challenges
ADHD and Us
Anita’s website, anitarobertson.com

Timestamps

(04:19) What is a sensory difference?

(08:21) What are the 3 hidden sensory systems?

(11:05) How does interoception impact ADHD?

(14:47) The vestibular system and ADHD

(20:28) Proprioception and ADHD

(23:05) Sensory systems and communication with ADHD

(26:56) How do we start identifying our sensory needs?

(30:21) Where you can find Anita

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Impulsive spending Oct 08, 2024

It was a spur-of-the-moment buy at the mall. A brand new handbag caught your eye and you couldn’t resist buying it. For many women with ADHD, moments of impulsive spending can lead to feelings of excitement followed by regret once the bills arrive.

In this episode, host Dr. Monica Johnson breaks down the connection between ADHD and impulsive spending. Listen as she discusses the value of pausing before making a purchase. And gives practical tips on how women with ADHD can build better financial habits and regain control over their spending.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel page at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcasts@understood.org.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:42) What is impulsive behavior?

(02:03) What is the emotional impact of spending?

(03:54) How can positive and negative emotions lead to poor spending habits?

(06:05) Strategies for managing spending

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: When the chaos stops Oct 01, 2024

People with ADHD sometimes put off doing things because it feels like too much with “everything else” going on. But, when “everything else” stops and we have free time to do whatever we want, it can also make us unproductive.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin talks about what happens when the chaos stops, but we still can’t get things done. Listen for some tips on how to get just the right amount of stress to actually be productive.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:40) Jen’s quote

(03:05) Jaye’s reaction

(03:37) Why a lot of ADHDers live in a constant state of chaos

(04:49) The burnout that comes after living in chaos for too long

(06:16) Why having nothing to do actually works against productivity

(08:02) Finding the right balance of stress

(09:57) Keep windows of work time shorter

(11:33) Make mini-deadlines for yourself, and tell others about what you plan to have done

(13:40) Recap

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast channel page at Understood.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: Resolving conflict with a partner with ADHD Sep 26, 2024

Conflict can be uncomfortable. But it’s a necessary part of life that can have great outcomes. ADHD often comes with trouble with executive function, emotional regulation, time perception, and more. This can make conflict even tougher to face.

Senior certified Gottman relationship therapist Michael McNulty walks us through the research on which the Gottman Method is based — and what it means for relationships.

Listen to Cate and Michael as they explore how conflict can change with ADHD, and the four horsemen of divorce — each with their own antidote.

Related resources

Trouble with self-regulation: What to know
The Gottman Institute
Michael’s website, chicagorelationshipcenter.com

Timestamps

(03:34) What is the Gottman Method?

(06:00) The research the Gottman Method is based on

(09:42) ADHD and the Gottman Method

(12:54) Executive function and conflict

(15:22) Time perception and conflict

(16:20) What is “turning away and turning towards”?

(19:13) The four horsemen of divorce

(20:32) The first horseman: Criticism

(23:26) The second horseman: Defensiveness

(24:50) The third horseman: Contempt

(27:48) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling

(29:11) Where you can find Michael

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Procrastination Sep 24, 2024

It’s not uncommon for some women with ADHD to scramble to complete tasks at the last minute despite having ample time to start. This struggle can cause frustration, anxiety, and even stress.

Listen as Dr. Monica Johnson breaks down how symptoms of ADHD can lead to delays in task completion. And get strategies on how to improve productivity and reduce stress.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel page at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcasts@understood.org.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:59) What is procrastination?

(01:13) What are key characteristics of procrastination?

(04:27) Ways to break the cycle of procrastination

(05:21) What is the Pomodoro Technique?

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Impossible expectations for perfect outcomes Sep 17, 2024

Do you find yourself planning to go above and beyond often? What do you do when a voice you’ve made has gone the wrong way? Perfectionism can come up a lot with ADHD, especially in women.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on pressuring ourselves to be perfect. Listen for why this anxiety might come up, and how to get real with yourself.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:47) Mallory’s quote

(02:03) Jaye’s reaction

(02:40) ADHD, anxiety, and perfectionism

(05:22) Over-the-top expectations of doing it all

(06:41) Does the idea of “perfect” align with why we want to do something?

(10:17) Stuck in decision paralysis because we want to make the perfect choice

(15:07) Takeaways

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: Dating with ADHD Sep 12, 2024

Dating is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice. ADHD can intensify dating challenges. Like, masking to be someone we’re not so the other person will like us. Or, having intense feelings quickly, and jumping into a relationship that may not be what we want in the long run.

Dating coach Amie Leadingham visits the show this week to talk about what a dating coach does and common dating pitfalls. Host Cate Osborn addresses what these challenges can look like with ADHD on top.

Related resources

Is it love or is it dopamine?, from Tips from an ADHD Coach
A dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting, from How’d You Get THAT Job?!
Amie’s website, amiethedatingcoach.com

Timestamps

(03:59) What does a dating coach do?

(08:07) How ADHD can affect dating

(09:29) ADHD and “love bombing”

(12:56) What is “screening”?

(14:04) Masking in dating/The “marketing trap”

(17:50) How to ask good questions

(19:45) What to do when you realize your relationship might not be what you want

(21:37) How can people with ADHD show up to be good partners?

(23:42) When do we disclose that we have ADHD?

(25:21) Trouble with time perception and texting

(26:20) Trouble with impulse control and dating

(27:30) Amie’s question suggestions

(29:00) ADHD and oversharing

(30:54) Amie on a dating timeline

(33:10) ADHD and kink

(34:24) Where you can find Amie

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Time management Sep 10, 2024

Women often juggle multiple roles. From their careers and family duties to even personal goals — all while trying to stay on top of their long to-do lists. Every tick of the clock feels like a reminder of all the things left to do, leaving some women with ADHD feeling rushed and overwhelmed.

In this episode, listen as Dr. J explores how ADHD can impact common struggles with time management. Learn about the unique time management challenges faced by women with ADHD. And get strategies to help turn those chaotic moments into organized victories.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel page at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org.

Related resources

Timestamps

(01:17) Why is time management a challenge for some women with ADHD?

(01:35) The connection between ADHD and executive function

(03:53) Ways to manage time better

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Identity after an ADHD diagnosis Sep 03, 2024

After getting an adult ADHD diagnosis, a lot of emotions can come up. And questions about who you are as a person, and what to do next — like, have I been masking my whole life? Will people close to me still like me if I change?

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on questioning who we are after finding out we have ADHD. Listen for some of Jaye’s own story about navigating her identity, and some reassurance that we are all of our layers.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:26) Mananya’s quote

(02:13) Jaye’s reaction

(02:33) The grief that can come after an adult ADHD diagnosis

(03:30) Questioning who we are

(05:55) Who are we now that we know we have ADHD?

(09:50) How do we move forward?

(13:03) Outro

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: The impact of ADHD on workplace relationships Aug 29, 2024

Workplace relationships can be challenging for anyone. But for people with ADHD, trouble with working memory, self-control, emotions, and more can make professionalism even more confusing.

Executive and ADHD coach Farah Jamil visits the show to clear up some common mysteries, like, how do I speak up for myself? And, what do I do when I’ve made a mistake? Listen for her answers, and some great tips to keep in your back pocket.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:38) What does Farah do as an executive coach and ADHD coach?

(06:57) Recognizing that it’s OK not to have all of the answers at work

(09:40) How can ADHD affect collaboration in the workplace?

(11:01) The What, the How, and the Why

(13:03) How can ADHD affect communication in the workplace?

(14:56) Feeling socially awkward at work

(17:15) How to start identifying your needs

(19:36) Conflict in the workplace

(21:43) Communication strategies

(25:28) How can we take ownership of our mistakes?

(31:12) Fear of success

(34:37) Where you can find Farah

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Rejection sensitivity Aug 27, 2024

Imagine receiving a “no,” to an idea you’ve shared in a meeting. Instead of brushing it off, you become overwhelmed with thoughts of self-doubt and a deep sense of rejection.

This intense emotional reaction is known as rejection sensitivity. And many women with ADHD experience it. In this episode, Dr. J explains how ADHD can amplify fears of rejection. Listen in to learn strategies women with ADHD can use to navigate these feelings.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel page at Understood.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:49) What is rejection sensitivity?

(02:50) How can rejection sensitivity impact women with ADHD?

(03:31) Helpful ways to manage rejection

(04:48) What is cognitive reframing?

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Coping skills with consequences Aug 20, 2024

Do you sometimes feel like you don’t have control over your life? Are there things you turn to in order to feel better that end up hurting you in the long run? Some coping skills, like impulsive spending, can make us feel like we have control over our lives in the moment. But, they end up harming us in the future and starting a cycle of powerlessness.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on impulsive spending. Listen for Jaye’s take on borrowing control from the future, and some tips that can help.

Related resources

Ellyce’s ADHD Aha! Episode, The pain of struggling with basic tasks: ADHD in the pandemic
5 tips to help teens and young adults manage money
ADHD and emotions

Timestamps

(00:42) Ellyce’s quote

(02:00) Jaye’s reaction

(03:44) How “borrowing” control from the future can lead to a powerlessness cycle

(05:22) What can we do?

(09:19) How ADHD can affect our sense of control

(15:03) The power of self-kindness

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: ADHD and sex Aug 15, 2024

When you have ADHD, it can affect every part of your life — even sex. ADHD impacts how we show up in relationships. And it can be easy to forget it’s with us in the bedroom too.

ADHD sexpert and psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman visits the podcast this week to talk about the connection between ADHD and sex. Listen to this foundational episode as we set the scene to cover more in-depth topics on sex in future episodes.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:45) Why is ADHD and sex an important topic?

(07:24) What Ari learned from research for his book, ADHD After Dark

(10:33) ADHD and responsibility

(12:47) Avoiding a transactional sexual relationship

(14:55) Intentionality and ADHD

(17:39) What can we do to help?

(25:10) Ari’s main takeaways

(26:45) What do I do if me or my partner is really excited about sex, but one or the other of us struggles to remember it exists?

(29:54) What do I do if I get distracted during sex?

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: The anxiety spiral Aug 13, 2024

It’s a common challenge for many women with ADHD. Where a single moment of forgetting about a task, or feeling stressed about making a mistake, leads to a full-blown anxiety spiral.

In this episode, host Dr. Monica Johnson dives into the connection between ADHD and anxiety. Listen as she explains common ways anxiety can show up in women. And shares helpful ways to manage anxiety.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org.

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel page at Understood.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:48) Is it common for women with ADHD to have anxiety?

(01:59) Common ways anxiety can show up

(02:24) How to manage anxiety

(03:11) What is TIPP?

(07:10) Can mindfulness help with anxiety?

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Is it love or is it dopamine? Aug 06, 2024

Have you ever impulsively thrown yourself into a relationship? Do you change your interests based on who you’re dating? ADHD brains tend to have a lower baseline of dopamine. So, bursts of it can feel extra good. This can happen when we meet someone we like, and want them to like us back.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on changing yourself in relationships from Ange’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Listen for Jaye’s own connection to this, and some reality checks you can give yourself.

Related resources

Timestamps

(00:38) Ange’s quote

(03:00) Jaye’s reaction

(04:35) What is dopamine?

(08:08) What happens once we get into the relationship we wanted?

(11:47) What can we do to help?

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood Channel page at Understood.

Have a challenge you'd like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: Setting boundaries in relationships with ADHD Aug 01, 2024

Boundaries are limits based on our values — and a key part of good relationships. ADHD can come with low self-esteem and anxiety, which can get in the way of respecting your own boundaries in relationships.

ADHD educator and marriage counselor Melissa Orlov explains what boundaries are and how ADHD comes into play. Plus, she offers tips on how to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Related resources

Timestamps

(04:28) What is a boundary?

(10:20) How do we figure out what our boundaries are?

(14:51) People pleasing

(20:45) How do we work on creating and evolving boundaries with a partner?

(22:16) Top three things to know, and some activities to get started

(24:42) Cate's Comment Corner

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Parenting fails Jul 30, 2024

Staying on top of important events, managing daily life, and making sure a child feels supported and loved is no easy task for a mom. Especially for a mom with ADHD.

Constant feelings of stress and frustration can have a huge impact on a woman’s ability to parent. Listen as Dr. J explains how symptoms of ADHD can impact parenting. Find out why it’s common for some women with ADHD to view minor mistakes as “parenting fails.” And get advice on how to move forward from parenting mistakes.

Related resources

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD and podcast page at Understood.org.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcasts@understood.org.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Analysis paralysis Jul 23, 2024

Making decisions is a complex process that uses a lot of executive function skills. This can be especially difficult for people with ADHD and can lead to “analysis paralysis,” or getting stuck on making a choice.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on analysis paralysis from Emily’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Listen for some tips and tools that can help you unfreeze and act.

Related resources

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: ADHD and the art of friendship Jul 18, 2024

Juggling everything that ADHD throws at us can make us struggle in our friendships. Trouble with executive function affects our ability to communicate and remember things. And the shame that comes with ADHD can lead to us hiding our challenges and pretending to be someone we’re not.

In this episode, host Cate Osborn welcomes a good friend of hers, Elizabeth Kilmer. Elizabeth is a clinical psychologist and researcher in game studies. Join Cate and Elizabeth as they talk about what it means to be friends with ADHD and how having friends who “get it” can be a lifesaver.

Related resources

Making friends as an adult with ADHD
Understanding trouble with social skills
Elizabeth’s website, elizabethkilmer.com

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Anger Jul 16, 2024

Imagine rushing to get out the door for an appointment and realizing your keys are missing again. You run through the house, searching from room to room. Your heart is racing and you become frustrated as time passes.

After what feels like minutes, you finally find them buried under a pile of mail on the table. You’re relieved but you’re also angry. It’s an all-too-common experience for some women with ADHD. A minor frustration turning into an intense moment of anger.

Listen as Dr. J explains the connection between ADHD and anger. Hear how ADHD can influence emotions. And learn coping strategies.

Related resources

Visit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.

We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at podcasts@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Interrupting Jul 09, 2024

It can be hard not to interrupt someone else speaking when you think of something you want to say — especially if you have ADHD. Maybe you’re worried you’ll forget your great point. Maybe you don’t want the conversation to move to a different topic. Maybe you’re just really excited to share.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote from Sam’s ADHD Aha! episode about interrupting during a conversation. Tune in to learn why this might happen, and some dos and don’ts for when you feel like you might blurt something out.

Related resources

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: Managing expectations in relationships Jul 04, 2024

It can be a struggle to balance chores in a relationship. When one or more people in the relationship have ADHD, there’s even more room for miscommunication. It’s important to be on the same page about expectations, or you may end up with resentment, and more fights than you’d like to.

KC Davis wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning, and hosts the podcast Struggle Care. KC joins host Cate Osborn in this episode of Sorry, I Missed This to talk about care tasks, sharing the load, and getting on the same page.

Related resources

KC Davis’ website, strugglecare.com
Tackling organization, clutter, and stress with hyperfocus (Wendy’s story)
ADHD and messiness

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Perfectionism Jul 02, 2024

Imagine a teacher spending countless hours perfecting her lesson plans. But never feeling quite satisfied with her work. And her desires for perfection begin to create a cycle that ends in exhaustion.

The need for things to be perfect can be a common challenge for some women with ADHD. These challenges often stem from other symptoms of ADHD, like trouble with focus or organization.

Listen as Dr. J explains the connection between ADHD and perfectionism. And shares ways to help.

Related resources

Visit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.

We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at podcasts@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Tips from an ADHD Coach: Ghosting Jun 25, 2024

ADHD can make communication feel overwhelming sometimes. This can lead to ghosting a conversation or event altogether. Ghosting is when we disappear without an explanation — while messaging, in person, and more.

ADHD coach Jaye Lin reacts to a quote on ghosting from Allison’s ADHD Aha! podcast episode. Tune in to learn why ghosting might happen, and some tips that can help.

Related resources

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sorry, I Missed This: The influence of ADHD on social skills Jun 20, 2024

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing, and bring up questions like why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold onto friendships? What do I even like to do?

In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills and what we can do to help.

Related resources:

Caroline’s website
Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me?
Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing with ADHD

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD and: Imposter syndrome Jun 18, 2024

Imagine sitting in a conference room, feeling nervous about presenting to your team. This isn’t your first time presenting. In fact, you’ve done this many times before. But despite your accomplishments, a voice inside whispers, “You’re not qualified to be here.”

Dealing with imposter syndrome is a common challenge for many women with ADHD. Listen as Dr. Monica Johnson talks about imposter syndrome and how it’s closely linked to ADHD. And get tips for overcoming self-doubt and quieting your inner critic.

Related resource

Imposter syndrome at work: How I stopped feeling like a fake

Visit the episode page for a transcript and links to helpful resources.

We’d love to hear from you. Write to us at podcasts@understood.org

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Welcome to MissUnderstood Jun 10, 2024

For decades, women with ADHD have been overlooked and undiagnosed. That’s finally beginning to change. But there’s still so far to go.

This is where MissUnderstood comes in. We’re a channel made by women with ADHD for women with ADHD. And we’re talking about the things we want to hear. Women with ADHD need (good!) information, smart takes on ADHD topics, and so much more.

Hang out with @catieosaurus and guests as they discuss ADHD, relationships, and sex on Sorry, I Missed This. Get answers to the ADHD questions you didn’t know you had from Dr. Monica Johnson on ADHD and…. Or tune in for practical tips from empathetic ADHD coach (who’s totally been there) Jaye Lin on Tips From an ADHD Coach.

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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