Matt D’Elia Is Confused

Latest Episodes:

Joe Pesci’s Music & Donald Trump’s COVID-19 Oct 06, 2020

Show notes

In this episode Matt breaks down Joe Pesci’s little-known musical career, reviews the absurd 1989 action film TANGO & CASH through the lens of 2020, tells us why he’s legally changing his name from ‘Matt D’Elia’ to ‘M. Diesel’, and — of course — gives you all the latest on Donald Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, its far-reaching fallout, and the very dumb conspiracy theories about it coming from both sides of the political spectrum.

Demented Disastrous Debacle Debate & More Vin Diesel Oct 01, 2020

Show notes

Matt covers the first presidential debate of 2020, which was a demented disastrous debacle. Also, in a continuation of Monday’s episode, Matt talks more about his new favorite person— Vin Diesel.

Terrible Songs & Vin Diesel Sep 28, 2020

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In this episode Matt breaks down the recent history of terrible songs that have somehow captured the world’s ear, from ‘Dynamite’ to ‘The Macarena’, and explains his theory about how this has happened despite everyone knowing these songs are absolutely fucking terrible. From there he uncovers strange truths about Vin Diesel — from his perplexing appeal to his historically fucked up speaking voice to his new career as a singer(!!!) — and then gets into a wide variety of topics, including but not limited to: what to expect from the first presidential debate, why the political endorsements of celebrities are utterly absurd, and Donald Trump’s finally-available tax returns, which show that he somehow, inexplicably and against all logic, spent seventy thousand dollars on his hair in a single year.

Matthew McConaughey & The Supreme Court Sep 21, 2020

Show notes

In this episode Matt breaks down something so unbelievably and overwhelmingly confusing that it actually goes all the way back around again and becomes crystal clear: the hypocrisy on display in the current battle over the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court. Later on, he covers a few other topics as well, including but not limited to: Hitler, world history, Hollywood history, the 1980 William Friedkin / Al Pacino film ‘CRUISING’, and finally— Matthew McConaughey, his overall genius, the genius way he laughs, and the deeply unsettling fact that he goes by ‘Matthew’ instead of ‘Matt’.

‘Coastal Elites’ & ‘Save The Children’ Sep 15, 2020

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In this episode Matt shares his feelings on the fires currently ravaging America’s west coast, the immediate politicization of them, and Donald Trump’s proudly / idiotically anti-science response to those in charge of trying to stop them. From there he dives into several other issues, including but not limited to: the weirdly enduring ‘save the children’ aspect of almost all conspiracy theories, what people should really do if they actually want to ‘save the children’, HBO’s toothless and terrible new ‘satire’ COASTAL ELITES, and the easiest way to tell if someone is dumb. He also invents an entirely new way of saying ‘fuck’, and liberally uses this new way of saying ‘fuck’ throughout the duration of the episode. He ALSO mistakenly refers to the movie ‘WATERWORLD’ as ‘WESTWORLD’ and fails to correct himself and honestly that will piss him off until the day he dies. Enjoy!

Gender Reveal Parties & 9/11 Sep 11, 2020

Show notes

In this episode Matt ruthlessly and gleefully attacks gender reveal parties and the expecting parents who host them, breaks down a powerful study about the surprising inaccuracy of our memories of particularly emotional or traumatic events, and recounts his own strange, personal (and probably inaccurate) memory of being in New York City on 9/11.

Trauma Porn & OnlyFans Sep 04, 2020

Show notes

In this episode Matt discusses the utterly demented new trend of TikTokers pretending to be Holocaust survivors (!!!), the larger but just-as-disturbing trend of ‘trauma porn’ on social media, the half-warranted outrage over Bella Thorne’s use of OnlyFans, and why Matt supports anyone and everyone’s desire to sign up for (and make money on) OnlyFans. Toward the end he gets into some more serious shit— the far right’s delusional attacks on a potential Biden presidency, and the Trump campaign’s confusing attempt to gaslight the American people into believing Joe Biden’s America will be a lawless, hateful, violent hellscape..... when that is in fact what Donald Trump’s America already is, right now.

Diapers & Dynamite Sep 02, 2020

Show notes

Matt dedicates a good portion of this episode to his complicated feelings about the enormously successful K-Pop boy band BTS— their international mega-stardom, their crazy fans, their upsetting plastic surgery, and their massive new English-language single ‘Dynamite’ (which he plays and sings along to, even though he hates it a great deal). He covers several other topics as well, including but not limited to: the maddening and deeply upsetting children’s song ‘Baby Shark’, a strange news story about a guy from West Virginia who wears diapers even though he is an adult male, and Vice President Mike Pence’s incredibly weird issues with women (including his wife, who he disturbingly refers to as ‘Mother’). He also has yet ANOTHER update on the Lady Antebellum name-change fiasco, and proceeds to give the band a NEW new name— one it actually deserves. (Hint: it’s ‘Lady Asshole’).

Pomp & Bullshit Aug 27, 2020

Show notes

Second consecutive day with a new episode! Woooohoooo! In this one Matt breaks down the RNC and all its depression-inducing insanity, and gets into a few other things as well, including but not limited to: a follow-up on the Lady Antebellum name-change controversy (which is somehow even worse than he originally thought), the latest protesters vs armed-militia showdown (this time in Wisconsin) — and, finally, a plea for everyone, no matter what you believe in, to please chill the fuck out.

Friends & Punks Aug 26, 2020

Show notes

In today’s episode Matt discusses his friend who has gone full MAGA, why Matt is still friends with him even though he wants to punch him in his face 24/7, and why no one should stop being friends with anyone just because of their politics. Then he gets into a variety of topics, including but not limited to: Perrier’s immense and obvious superiority to La Croix, The Dixie Chicks and Lady Antebellum changing their names, the ridiculous Jerry Falwell Jr. sex scandal and how it compares to the sex scandals of all the other fallen Christian leaders, why the fuck so many MAGA people think they’re ‘punk rock’ even though the LEAST ‘punk rock’ thing someone could POSSIBLY do is love the President of the United States— and, of course, the dementedness of this week’s RNC.

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Matt D’Elia Is Confused

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