Mamaste with Tanika Ray

Latest Episodes:

27. Mothers Are A Child’s First Educator with Keri Shahidi May 03, 2022

Show notes

As mothers of black, brown, or immigrant children, we have a big responsibility to recognize the ways that the education and social systems do not serve them and take the initiative to fill in those gaps ourselves. We are our children’s first educators by teaching them to stand up for themselves and others and live an authentic life.

Today, I’m talking to Keri Shahidi - mother, actress, and executive producer of 7th Sun Productions. Keri is the mother of two beautiful children named Sayeed and Yara who have followed in her acting footsteps. Keri’s son, Sayeed has appeared in Alex Cross, Unthinkable, and Intelligence and her daughter Yara has acted in Black-ish, Grown-ish, and more. She has raised her children to be conscious activists in social issues, follow their purpose, and hold onto their narrative.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty-seven of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Keri and I have a wonderful conversation about her diverse bubble growing up, why she is passionate about educating her children, her mindset about their acting careers, and what she dreams of for their future.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

About Keri’s experience growing up (11:38)
Keri’s thoughts about advocating for our children’s education (17:42)
How Keri has raised her children to be conscious activists (21:58)
Keri’s mindset about her children’s dating life (32:35)
What Keri’s dream is for her children’s future (38:50)

Resources Mentioned:

Book - The 5 AM Club

Connect with Keri Shahidi

Instagram

Let’s Connect!

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26. Supermodel Turned Supermom with Eishia Brightwell Apr 26, 2022

Show notes

It’s a tale as old as time, women often end up quitting their career or putting it on pause after they become a full-time mommy. While being a mother is the best job of them all, it’s incredibly important that all moms take time for themselves and fill their own cup with self-care, creative pursuits, or whatever their passion may be. When you take care of yourself and celebrate your interests, you are then able to show up as the best version of yourself for your children.

Today, I’m talking to Eishia Brightwell, a former supermodel turned supermom. Eishia is a single mom of a beautiful girl named Legend, who is paving her own path in the modeling industry. Along with being a full-time mom, Eishia feeds her artistic and creative side by designing jewelry, accessories, and sneakers for her brand, EBJ Gallery, which has become popular among celebrities and influencers.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty-six of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Eishia and I have a great conversation about what her life was as a supermodel pre-baby, her experience growing up mixed race, the non-negotiables she has set with her daughter, how she and Legend’s father co-parent, and more.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

What Eishia’s life was like pre-baby (05:25)
Eishia’s experience growing up with a white mother and black father (10:00)
What Eishia’s current emotions are around dating as a single mother (17:27)
The creative process behind Eishia’s business, EBJ Gallery (21:08)
About Eishia’s experience co-parenting with the father of her child (26:52)

Connect with Eishia Brightwell

Let’s Connect!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

25. Rest Needing & Breast Feeding with Ericka Dorsey, Tamesha Valverde, Karesha Boyd, Alia McCants, & Vanessa Simmons Apr 19, 2022

Show notes

As Black women, and especially mothers, one of the things we have to come to terms with is how, historically, we’ve often been treated as vessels—completely lacking our own agency. Whether it was our enslaved ancestors made to give birth with no compassion or downtime or the current discrepancies that exist in Black maternal health, there’s no shortage of examples of mistreatment in Black motherhood. Amazingly, though, there are a number of women who are using their time and resources to change that dynamic for others and for our future generations.

Today,I'm bringing together five amazing mothers who are pushing the culture forward and taking agency over our own health when it comes to pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum experience.

EDIT- Please note...@ 3:32 I introduced Tamesha Valverde as the only lactation consultant in the country, but she is in fact, the only African American lactation consultant in the county where she lives. Sorry for the mix up.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty five of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Join me as I welcome Ericka Dorsey and Tamesha Valverde, co-founders of Flourishing Families, Karesha Boyd, Flourishing Families doula/advocate, Alia McCants, Founder of Spelmoms Facebook group, and Vanessa Simmons, Founder & CEO of Normalize Breastfeeding. We’re talking about their experiences with motherhood, what their time breastfeeding meant to them, and the incredible importance of giving ourselves grace and space as mothers.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

A little about everyone and their passions and superpowers (05:21)
Tamesha’s incredible experience helping out a friend with twins (12:15)
How Ericka became an advocate for breastfeeding (15:15)
The group’s thoughts on formula feeding and its usefulness (19:42)
The issues surrounding selling breast milk for profit, especially in the Black community (22:14)
The group’s advice to soon-to-be mamas and how they can advocate for themselves (28:16)
How the dismissal of Black women’s choice is ingrained in our DNA, but we can reclaim that agency (32:50)

Connect with My Guests:

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24. Mommying a Movie Star with Magic with Kimberly Harris Apr 12, 2022

Show notes

Every mommy knows what it’s like to start off their day in that not-so-pleasant way—in friction with their child. Maybe someone doesn’t want to get up for school, maybe homework was left undone the night before… hell, maybe you both just got up on the wrong side of the bed! In the end, there is no way to fully avoid conflict with our kids, but we can start by putting in the work and remaining consistent with our parenting.

Today, I’m talking to Kimberly Harris, an educator, and the mama, coach, and handler of the incredibly talented young actress Mykal-Michelle Harris. Mykal-Michelle has starred in shows like Mixed-ish, Raven’s Home, and Disney’s new Cheaper by the Dozen reboot and Kimberly has been with her every step of the way.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty four of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Kimberly and I get real about how raising great kids isn’t about luck—it’s about hard work! We also talk about our frustrations in parenting and how Kimberly’s experience off Broadway helped prepare her for Mykal-Michelle’s viral fame.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

How Kimberly says there is no magic potion to mommying. The trick is constant and consistent work (02:51)
Kimberly’s educator’s perspective on the power of repetition and consistency with our kids (05:08)
A bit about Kimberly’s blended family (10:31)
Kimberly never envisioned this career path for her daughter, but as a family they’re extremely grateful for their blessings and express their gratitude by giving back (17:52)
How Kimberly identifies when Mykal-Michelle is stressed and what she does to help alleviate that strain (25:01)
We’ll never fully avoid conflict with our children, it’s the way we handle it that really matters (31:41)
The three things Kimberly uses to keep her centered (36:26)

Connect with Kimberly and Mykal-Michelle:

Let’s Connect!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23. Mama, Me, Myself, & I Apr 05, 2022

Show notes

We can put in all the effort, all the work, all the intense struggle that we have inside of us to try and overcome trauma, but sometimes it still sticks around. Trauma, especially that which we suffered as children, has a tendency to rear its head at the most surprising moments and all of the self love and self care in the world won’t ever fully heal us. But the amazing thing we can gain from it is wisdom, courage, and a sense of enduring peace and empowerment.

Today, I’m putting it all out there and sharing with you some thoughts I had after a discussion about the book Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel. If you’re a regular listener, you’ve probably heard me speak about my mother and the complicated relationship I share with her—this is a further peak into that.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty three of Mamaste with Tanika Ray. I’m diving deep and getting real about the way my upbringing and my relationship with my mother affected everything from the way I learned to love others, to picking men, to parenting my own daughter.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

I parent my daughter in a way that I wasn’t when I was a little girl (04:35)
I’ve put in so much work to overcome my childhood trauma, but it still surfaces and surprises even me (07:00)
I automatically respond when I'm triggered the way I, unbeknownst to me, triggered my mother. It's all connected (09:23)
Being a mother myself made me realize that I have the ability in my hands to fuck her life up royally or to make her life manageable (14:44)
It's so easy to break your child’s heart, to burn out their spirit (18:17)
Continue to discover yourself, continue to remind yourself what love is, continue to ask yourself and question, “Does this work?” (26:22)
Mothering yourself can be an amazing experience in healing (32:25)

Resources mentioned:

Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel

Let’s Connect!

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22. Detox with DeClue to Your Most Powerful YOU Mar 29, 2022

Show notes

Note: This episode contains medical opinions, but it does not replace the advice of medical professionals. It simply puts forth options for those seeking alternative treatment.

If you’re listening to this podcast, chances are you’re already awake to the laundry list of issues and disparities with the healthcare system in the United States. You’ve probably seen the articles and may have even heard or experienced first person how men, women, and especially POC all receive disparate treatment. But what you probably don’t know—what you may even be too frustrated or burnt out to think about—is how we have the power to change these things for ourselves.

Today, I sit down with Ginger DeClue, a healing expert and iridologist and both a mama and expectant mama. Ginger’s mission is to help heal others like she was able to heal herself, outside of the confines of traditional Western medicine and pharmaceuticals.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty two of Mamaste with Tanika Ray. Ginger and I talk about both of our massive frustrations with the US healthcare system as it currently stands and how poor the care is in general, particularly for Black women. We also touch on the myths and misconceptions the average person has around food and why it’s so important to treat the source vs the symptoms.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

How the early deaths of both Ginger’s mother and grandmother inspired her to look at health and wellness from a different perspective (03:44)
Ginger’s belief that we don't need any more fighting, it’s time to build (07:30)
About Ginger’s mission to wake people up from what she calls the new form of slavery that centers on lack of awareness and choice regarding personal health (09:52)
Eating produce isn’t more expensive than processed food—you just have to look a little closer to find it in the affordable places (15:20)
If you want to fully transform your life, it's going to take time. There are no quick, permanent solutions (18:52)
A bit about Ginger’s high level 12-week course (23:21)
The one thing Ginger does every day to keep herself in maximum health (29:15)

Resources mentioned:

Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

Connect with Ginger:

Let’s Connect!

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21. Dr. Shefali, Radically & Consciously REAL AF Mar 22, 2022

Show notes

“...Culture doesn't train parents to take accountability. Parents are given the full permission and leeway to be traditional, hierarchical, tyrannical, and abusive to their kids. In ways like this, we begin to see how our desire to control our children is disguised as care and love, but it's really control.” -Dr. Shefali Tsabary

The easiest way to parent—and the way many of us were raised ourselves—is to robotically, unconsciously repeat the way we were parented. And here’s the thing: changing that pattern is hard work! Not only does it take a massive level of consciousness, it also requires you to take ownership for your mistakes and to possess the wherewithal to know how to correct them.

Today, I’m talking to Dr. Shefali Tsabary, an acclaimed author, international speaker, New York Times best seller, and fellow mama. Her blend of clinical psychology and eastern mindfulness has set her apart as a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology. She also speaks at events around the globe, spreading her message of conscious parenting and mindful living.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty one of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Dr. Shefali and I are talking about conscious parenthood and how important it is to evaluate the way we were parented instead of simply repeating the same patterns. We also discuss the separation we create when we label ourselves, how Dr. Shefali parents her daughter in order to instill these values, and how proud she was when, at the age of 12, her daughter told Dr. Shefali and her husband that they were “irrelevant.”

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

The reason why Dr. Shefali started to lean out of private practice and into spreading her message worldwide (02:25)
Dr. Shefali’s first epiphany that made her begin questioning many of the beliefs she had been raised with (10:12)
You have to be willing to look at the nothingness in order to receive the everythingness (14:48)
The stage Dr. Shefali and her daughter have reached in their relationship now (29:43)
Dr. Shefali’s tips for parents of only-children—in and out of the pandemic (36:10)
Dr. Shefali’s must-haves for motherhood (39:34)
About the village of support that Dr. Shefali keeps around her (48:37)

Connect with Dr. Shefali:

Let’s Connect!

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20. MOM AF on Loving, Leaving and CBD with Christine Michel Carter Mar 15, 2022

Show notes

Anyone who has experienced mommyhood can tell you it’s often as difficult as it is beautiful. But navigating through childbirth and parenting as a woman of color? That’s a whole different level of strength! There are so many extra layers and obstacles put in our way, we learn very quickly that it’s sink or swim in the waters of motherhood—and the biggest difference is how and when we learn that we have to be our own advocates.

Today, I’m welcoming the original mommy AF, Christine Michel Carter. Christine is a best-selling author, advocate, and mama of two. She is also the creator of Mompreneur and Me, a professional development networking event, and has worked with the Congressional Caucus on Black Women & Girls, the U.S. Department of Labor, and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce on maternal and child care-related issues.

Tune in and listen to episode twenty of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Christine and I talk all about our birthing experiences and the lessons we had to learn fast about advocating for ourselves as women of color. We also talk about the inspiration behind Christine’s book MOM AF, the struggle and the journey she experienced with her ex as a result of his substance abuse issues, and the difference between marriage and love.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

What Christine’s life was like pre-baby and how she came into her MOM AF power zone (04:24)
How Christine struggled with her mental health after her daughter was born preterm and transferred to the NICU (08:06)
The way the birth of Christine’s first child completely subverted her expectations (16:38)
About the treacherous waters of dating as a single mom (21:25)
The more natural way Christine has found to relax and unwind (41:36)

Connect with Christine:

Let’s Connect!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19. The Verdict Is In... Mama Wins!!! with Lauren Lake Mar 08, 2022

Show notes

One of the most magical things that can happen for us as mamas is when our babies start teaching us lessons of their own. They can teach us to be fearless, to walk taller and to be more confident, even to recognize our own gifts that we’ve never connected with before.

Today, I’m welcoming Lauren Lake, an attorney, author, TV personality, Emmy winner, and mama. Lauren is also the host of the cult-classic daytime legal show Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court.

Tune in and listen to episode nineteen of Mamaste with Tanika Ray.Lauren and I talk about what it’s like for her to have a child at boarding school and how they stay close while he’s away. We also cover the importance of teaching conflict resolution, how sometimes you can’t just follow your gut when parenting—and the amazing advice that Lauren’s mother gave her that I’m adding to my own personal notes!

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

What it’s like to be labeled as a “different” kind of black girl by people who don’t even know you or the community (05:15)
Lauren’s experience winning her Emmy with her son by her side (06:43)
Why parenting is all about being a leader (12:32)
How Lauren’s upbringing and relationship with her own mother influenced her approach to parenting (22:36)
The special spiritual relationship Lauren’s son has with his grandmother who has passed on (29:59)
The greatest lesson Lauren’s son has taught her about herself (30:53)

Connect with Lauren:

Let’s Connect!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18. Real Life Princess Diaries with Princess Keisha Mar 01, 2022

Show notes

When I was a little girl, I didn’t have a voice telling me to believe in my beauty and my own Black girl magic. Raising my own daughter, I not only instill those beliefs in her, I also surround her with examples of beautiful, powerful black women so that she never questions her own power.

Today, I’m welcoming my girlfriend Keisha AKA Princess Keisha, a mama, a model, a hair influencer, and a public speaker… who just so happened to have fallen in love and married a Nigerian prince.

Tune in and listen to episode eighteen of Mamaste with Tanika Ray. Keisha tells me about how it is to raise kids with royal titles and the early lessons they had to learn because of them. We’re also talkingabout how we can’t fight our kids’ battles—no matter how much we wish we could, and whether or not that famous line from Coming to America is really accurate.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

We’re raising our little girls to never have to search for their power (02:01)
That Keisha was a little bit of a fangirl when we first met! (06:43)
How Keisha went from dreaming of being a model in Inglewood to marrying a prince and living in London (10:11)
Keisha had no idea that her future husband had a royal title until they had been dating for two years (12:34)
The importance of teaching our babies from birth to really observe the people around them and assess their authenticity (21:07)
How Keisha and her husband address the difficult, racist topics in the news with their kids (29:06)
Keisha and I both make it a priority to instill in our daughters a belief in their magic so that they never have to question it (33:05)

Connect with Keisha:

Let’s Connect!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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EDIT- Please note...@ 3:32 I introduced Tamesha Valverde as the only lactation consultant in the country, but she is in fact, the only African American lactation consultant in the county where she lives. Sorry for the mix up.

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