Show notes
I know, I know, I’ve been talking about grief a decent amount lately, and this week’s episode brings yet another angle—one we don’t talk about nearly enough. This is about the kind of grief that sneaks in long after the breakup papers are signed and the dust has settled. The grief that only makes itself known once you’ve created enough distance, or when—surprise!—you fall in love again and finally feel safe enough to feel.
And this doesn’t just happen after a marriage ends and someone falls in love again. It can happen in our friendships, relationships with family, even jobs or careers.
In this episode, I’m sharing the surprising grief that surfaced two and a half years after leaving a long relationship. This isn’t the obvious “heartbreak grief” that hits you right after the end. This is the grief that comes from looking in the review mirror. From realizing how much you self-abandoned, finally feeling seen and loved, and grieving all the versions of yourself that didn’t get that.
We’re also looking at what it really means to “grow apart” in a relationship, why you can’t prescribe someone else’s evolution (aka “how can I get my partner to be into personal growth more?”), and how love (new or long-term) can become an amplifier for healing if you let it.
If you’ve ever asked, “How do I get my significant other on board with my personal growth and their own?” or “Why does this new relationship feel so tender and terrifying at the same time?”—this one’s for you.
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Why “growing apart” is more than a vague excuse—and how to tell when it’s actually happening
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The quiet grief that follows clarity and hindsight
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How self-abandonment can masquerade as “keeping the peace”
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The sneaky ways we shrink to feel loved (and how that resentment creeps in)
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What happens when new love cracks you wide open in the best (and hardest) ways
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Why some grief only shows up after you feel safe
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How love can either be a bypass or an amplifier; and why the difference matters
Interested in my next group program? It’s deep, intimate, and designed for this kind of layered, soul-level work. It's still in development (she doesn’t even have a name yet, but currently referring to it as “The Deep Work” 👀), but if you're curious, send me a message and I’ll personally reach out with more details when I have them soon.
Resources from this episode
Leaving People Behind podcast episode
DM me on Instagram @heyandreaowen and tell me what resonated most from this episode.
Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!
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