Loving On Purpose

Latest Episodes:

Adult Children Who Want No Contact With Parents Jul 12, 2023

Show notes

One of the most difficult times a parent can go through is when they are told by their adult child they want no contact with them. The question is "now what"? If you fixate on this happening it could keep you stuck in despair the rest of your life. There is a way to move on. Of course you're going to feel hurt and disappointed. In this episode I tell you of three stages to go through to lessen the hurt. "Now what" is a choice you will have to make to find happiness and fulfillment in your life again. Choosing to still love your children is another choice. We can fixate on loving them or judging them. This episode might possibly help you make that decision.

I am no longer offering my 8-week coaching program, but I remain fully committed to supporting parents of adult children. If you have questions or need guidance, you’re welcome to reach out to me directly at bonnie@bonnielyman.com.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Likability Jul 05, 2023

Show notes

Have you ever questioned your likability? Is that something that is controllable?
We were all born likable. We may have stronger likes for some than for others but that is because we all have preferences of what we like and don't like.
Some people like peaches and some don't. It doesn't matter if you're the juiciest peach on the tree, you can't make people like you if they don't like peaches. We all have preferences about who we like to be around. And that's what makes our world be made of humans and not robots. Listen to find out why there is no moral code that you're suppose to like hanging out with family.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

These Are the Kids We Were Given Jun 28, 2023

Show notes

Our adult children see what a good relationship with their adult parents looks like from a different perspective than we do. Because of the internet and social media, needs that were once being met by parents are now being met by Google and Facebook. Thus, where parents may see their relationship with their now adult children as distant, they may see it as perfect. Adult children are not intentionally ignoring their parents, they are taking responsibility for fulfilling their own needs, which are far different than their parents' needs, thus, parents tend to feel that are not a priority in their children's life. Listen to this episode to find out why this may not be a bad perspective. Are parents neglecting their responsibility to take care of their own needs rather than advocating it to their adult children?

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Are You Missing Out on Life Because of Adult Child Relationship Jun 21, 2023

Show notes

Wanting your relationship to be different than what it is with your adult children may be the very thing that is keeping you from living the life you want to live. What we want in a relationship with our children maybe different than what they want and sometimes this is why we see the relationship as not a close one. But what if nothing has gone wrong? What if this is what kind of relationship they want? It doesn't mean they don't love you. This episode is about using our pain of being misunderstood to understand the needs of our adult children.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Stay In Your Own Business Jun 14, 2023

Show notes

Do you notice the less you know about your adult children's lives the fewer opinions you have as to the right or wrongness of their behavior? Why do we care what they are thinking? We can't change it. We are driven to know why they aren't coming to our house for dinner, again! We may not like the answer; we might not get the real reason. Your business is to become a better version of you, take care of your own needs , and love your children by respecting their agency. Listen to find out how staying out of your children's business makes life a whole lot easier.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Happiness is Predicated Upon Your Attitude. Jun 07, 2023

Show notes

What if I told you that your attitude, not external factors, is the key to unlocking happiness and improving your quality of life? Your attitude come from your thoughts not your circumstances. Listen to find strategies for becoming more conscious of our thoughts, practicing optimism, and developing acceptance with challenging circumstances. Your attitude is your choice; that means you can view life any way you want

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Autonomy: What Your Adult Child Craves May 31, 2023

Show notes

There are three things we all want: autonomy, respect by others of our agency, and not be told what to do. We all want to to be self governing of our lives. When we feel threatened that someone is taking our power away, we rebel and run away from this person. Even meaning-well parents, trying to make suggestions to their adult children often backfires by weakening or even losing the relationship with them. It's easy for adult children to feel that these suggestions imply they are not capable of making good decisions or that they are still being treated like a child. The easiest way to reclaim their power is to avoid having conversations with or being around their parents. Listen to find out what the antidote is.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Circumstances are Neutral May 24, 2023

Show notes

Circumstances are everything that happens outside of us in our lives; world events, the weather, our past, what someone says or doesn't say to us. Circumstances are the facts of what's going on around us. They are the boring descriptions of our life. Circumstances are neutral. We were raised thinking it was the circumstances of our lives that caused us to feel a certain way. It was never taught to us that our feelings are caused by our thoughts about what we are making these circumstances mean. When it's raining and we feel disappointed, it's not the rain that makes us feel disappointed but our thoughts (ie. We can't have our wedding reception outside because it's raining) about the rain that causes us to feel disappointed. Our thoughts cause us to feel a certain way, not what's happening in our lives. We can't control the happenings in our lives but we can control how we think about the circumstances. Therefore, if we can control our thoughts that means we have control over how we want to feel in any situation.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

Choosing to Feel the Bad and the Ugly May 17, 2023

Show notes

Part of being human is being willing to feel all of our emotions; being an emotional adult is being willing to feel" the good, the bad, and the ugly" parts of our lives. The Model is the most amazing tool. By using it, you can feel any feeling you want to feel just by intentionally choosing to think thoughts that cause you to feel the feeling you want to feel. But it can be misused. First we have to feel the negative feeling. Allow it to sit with us for a bit instead of resisting feeling it by drinking alcohol or going for a run. If will do this, then the intensity of the negative emotion decreases. I share with you my week this week of choosing to feel "the bad and the ugly" and why it's not helpful to think a new thought before you give the negative feeling some attention. I had trained my brain so well to default to thinking empowering thoughts so quickly that when a new crisis came into my life this week, I was consumed with negative emotions and my empowering thoughts had lost their power. I had no choice but to hang out with all the negative feelings for several days.

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life

How Inspirational Music Can Help You Feel Peace with Kristine Cox May 10, 2023

Show notes

Tune in this week to discover why inspirational music can help you stop feeling so much despair, especially that feeling of dread so many feel over Mother's Day, or any other circumstances that triggers those negative emotions that come from a mismanaged mind. Kristine shares why uplifting music is the perfect tool for new thoughts to enter your mind, almost instantly, that causes you to feel peace and calm and hope rather than despair. It's taking responsibility to take action, by listening to inspiring music, that often for many touches their soul so intensely, that the new thoughts instantly cause you you feel a different feeling. I challenge you to listen to learn more about this tool.
How to connect with Kristine Cox

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bit.ly/PerfectForMeKristineCox

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https://kristinecox.com/pages/kristine-cox-streaming

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KristinesKeynotes.com

Kris@KristineCox.com

I would be honored to help you find greater confidence and happiness in your life