Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Latest Episodes:

Want More Friends But Dread the Effort? Here’s What Actually Works | Happiness | E562 Oct 05, 2026

Show notes

Here’s the brutal truth about making friends as an adult: nobody is coming to find you.

You want more friends. You want people who really know you, people you can call, people you actually want to spend time with. You just don’t want to go through the awkward, exhausting process of making them.

And maybe somewhere along the way, you started wondering: Is something wrong with me? Am I too introverted? Too awkward? Too weird?

Nope. But there is an uncomfortable truth: your future best friends probably aren’t going to magically show up at your house. Making friends requires action. The good news? You do not need to become an extrovert, work the room, or reinvent your personality.

I’m joined by psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Suzanne Wallach to unpack why adult friendship has gotten so hard and what actually works when you’re lonely, out of practice, or just really tired.

You’ll learn:

Why making friends as an adult feels so freaking hard
Where adults actually meet people they might want to be friends with
What to do when you want friends but dread the effort
How introverts can build close friendships without pretending to be extroverts
Why being comfortable alone can actually help you build better relationships

Because you do not need 100 friends. You need a few good ones. And you don’t need to be less weird.

You need to find your specific genre of weirdo.

And if you’re realizing there’s a gap between the social life you have and the one you want, you don’t have to figure out how to close it alone. At Growing Self, our therapists and coaches help people create stronger relationships, build confidence, and make meaningful changes in every area of their lives.

Book your free consultation and get matched with the right expert for you.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at⁠ shopify.com/lhs⁠
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at⁠ ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/lhs⁠⁠
Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at ⁠Sequencing.com⁠
Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS

Why You Keep Giving Up On What You Want | Success | E561 Oct 01, 2026

Show notes

A bad strategy can trick you into giving up on the right dream. The problem isn’t what you want… it’s how you’re trying to get it.

Turns out, there's a totally different way of planning your life that's going to get you going to get you further faster.

My guest Courtney De Ronde dropped a line in this conversation that stopped me cold:

“We give up on our vision instead of shifting our strategy.”

You may not have the wrong dream. You may just be taking the wrong road to get there.

In this episode, we’re breaking down why smart, motivated people get stuck and how to build a life plan that actually moves you forward.

You’ll learn:

Why trying harder may actually keep you stuck
The difference between your vision and your strategy
How to turn a big dream into something you can actually do this week
Whether you’re a visionary or a doer, and how each gets derailed
How to know when it’s time to change course instead of giving up
Why the thing you keep calling a “discipline problem” might actually be a support problem

Courtney's framework moves from a long-term vision to a realistic annual milestone and finally into the days, weeks, and quarters where progress actually happens.

Before you decide the dream isn’t going to happen, make sure you’re not just stuck on the wrong road.

Take the free “What’s Holding You Back?” quiz to figure out where you’re getting stuck. And if you’re ready for support creating a different path forward, schedule a free consultation with a coach at Growing Self.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Sequencing.com — Discover what your DNA can reveal about your health with clinical-grade whole genome sequencing that reads 100% of your DNA. Get 10% off with promo code LHS at Sequencing.com
Ritual — Hormone-free support made for the perimenopause years. Get 25% off your first order at Ritual.com/LHS

Whose Life Is This? How to Find Yourself When the Life You Built Stops Fitting | Happiness | E560 Sep 28, 2026

Show notes

Whose life is this? You built it. You chose it. So why doesn’t it feel like yours anymore?

Maybe you checked all the boxes. Built the career. Created the relationship. Became the responsible one, the successful one, the person everyone can count on. And then one day you looked around and thought, Wait... is this actually what I want?

That’s the uncomfortable realization at the heart of this episode.

My guest, Growing Self therapist Tania Chikhani, knows it personally. Before 30, she was managing a half-billion-dollar brand and headed toward an executive career. On paper, she was wildly successful. Inside, as she puts it, her “joie de vivre” was gone.

Because sometimes the life you built was designed for an earlier version of you. Or around what your family wanted. What your partner wanted. What you thought you were supposed to want. And eventually, you have to ask: Who am I now?

In this episode, Tania and I are talking about how to find yourself again when you genuinely don’t know what you want next.

You’ll learn:

Why the life you wanted can suddenly stop feeling like yours
How to figure out what you actually like and want
Why you can’t always think your way back to yourself
How to reconnect with yourself through experimentation and experience
Why your blind spots can keep pulling you back into the same patterns
A powerful “Perfect Day” exercise to help you see what you really want next

If you’ve been looking around at your own life thinking, How did I get here?, this conversation is for you.

And if you’re ready to figure out who you are now and what comes next, schedule a free consultation with Tania at growingself.com/tania.

Xoxo,Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Are Your Looks Defining Your Worth? How to Build Confidence Beyond Appearance | Happiness | E559 Sep 24, 2026

Show notes

The world is already judging your appearance…but the real danger is when you start judging your worth by it, too.

FYI: This is NOT in your head. The way you look really does affect how people treat you (unfortunately).Research shows that appearance can influence who gets hired, who gets helped, who gets the benefit of the doubt, and even the assumptions people make about you in a split second.But that doesn’t mean that you need to buy into the lies our culture is trying to hand you.

In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with psychologist and The Problem With Pretty author Dr. Allycin Powell-Hicks to unpack the uncomfortable psychology of beauty, appearance, and self-worth, and, more importantly, how to stop letting the mirror determine how you feel about yourself.

You’ll learn:

How your appearance can quietly influence so many shocking aspects of your life
The consequences of being seen as “unattractive” (and how to overcome them)
How beauty standards get tangled up with your confidence and identity
Why tying too much of your self-esteem to your appearance is a dangerous investment
How to build a stronger sense of self that isn’t dependent on how you look

Your appearance may influence how the world sees you. It does not have to define your worth.

If you’re ready to build deeper confidence, strengthen your sense of self, and feel more secure in who you are, schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self therapist or coach at growingself.com.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Resentment in Your Relationship? The Uncomfortable Truth About Your Part | Love | E558 Sep 21, 2026

Show notes

What if the resentment you feel toward your partner isn’t actually about what they’re doing wrong…but about what you keep doing?

You do the dishes. You make the bed. You remember everything. You fix problems before anyone asks. And then you quietly think: Why do I have to do everything around here?

Here’s the twist: You may be blaming your partner for resentment that’s actually coming from how much you’ve taken on.

That’s the realization that changed Alyssa Zander’s relationship. After four years of believing her partner needed to change, they broke up, and an unexpected encounter forced her to ask a much harder question: What was my part in this? Today, that same man is her fiancé.

In this conversation, Alyssa and I unpack how over-functioning, unspoken expectations, and trying to manage your partner can quietly create the exact relationship dynamic you’re so angry about.

You’ll learn:

Why resentment may be a sign you’ve been doing too much
How over-functioning can accidentally reinforce the dynamic you hate
Why trying to fix your partner’s moods can push you further apart
What to do when you’re thinking, “Why do I have to do everything?”
How to ask for what you need instead of expecting your partner to read your mind

Your resentment might not be asking you to try harder. It might be asking you to put something down.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

P.S. If resentment keeps showing up in your relationship and you’re ready to understand what’s really happening (and how to change it), schedule a free consultation with a Growing Self relationship expert at growingself.com.

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Why You’re Great at Communicating With Everyone Except Your Partner (And How to Fix It) | Love | E557 Sep 17, 2026

Show notes

You can navigate a difficult conversation with your boss, calm down a frustrated friend, and explain exactly how you feel…so why does one sentence from your partner turn you into someone who suddenly can’t communicate at all?

Here’s the bombshell: You might not actually have a communication problem. Because the words aren’t the real problem.

In this episode, I’m joined by Brandy Buckner, M.S., LMFTA, marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to expose what’s actually happening underneath those impossible conversations: the communication styles you inherited, the attachment reflexes that take over when you feel threatened, and the private story running through your head before you shut down or lash out.

You’ll learn:

Why great communicators completely lose each other at home
What’s really happening when one person pursues and the other shuts down
The hidden feeling underneath anger that changes the entire conversation
How to take a timeout without making your partner feel abandoned
What to tell yourself when every instinct says, Get me out of here
Why waiting for your partner to change keeps you both trapped

Because sometimes the breakthrough isn’t learning what to say. It’s finally understanding what’s happening inside both of you before anyone says a word.

And if you’re tired of having the same fight on repeat, schedule a free consultation with Brandy. She can help you change the pattern. She works with couples at Growing Self to uncover what’s happening beneath the conflict and build a relationship where you can actually hear, understand, and reach each other. Schedule a free consultation with her.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

How to Overcome Insecurity When “Loving Yourself” Isn’t Working | Happiness | E556 Sep 14, 2026

Show notes

If love makes you suspicious, compliments make you uncomfortable, and happiness makes you wait for something bad to happen…this episode might explain your entire life.

Because what if your insecurity isn’t a personality flaw? What if your brain learned, somewhere along the way, that feeling good about yourself is dangerous?

Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Marisa Franco is back with fascinating new science about why insecurity can survive years of therapy, affirmations, self-help, and “working on yourself” (and what can finally begin to change it).

Here’s the mind-bending part: Your memories don’t just record your past. They predict your future. And when your brain expects rejection, humiliation, or abandonment, even love and success can feel threatening.

But those old memories aren’t necessarily fixed. Dr. Franco explains how the science of memory reconsolidation may help change the way the past continues to live inside you.

You'll learn:

Why compliments, love, and success can actually make you feel worse
Why you can feel deeply insecure even when you can’t explain why
How old memories can quietly shape what you expect from yourself and others
How memory reconsolidation can begin changing the emotional impact of the past
Why affirmations sometimes backfire when you have low self-worth
How to recognize when deeper support may be the right next step

If you’ve spent years trying to “love yourself” and wondering why nothing seems to stick, you need to hear this.

You may not need another pep talk. You may finally need to understand what your brain has been trying to protect you from.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

P.S. Ready to stop letting old insecurities run the show? Book a free consultation with a Growing Self clinician and get matched with the right person to help you do this deeper work.

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

Control Issues? How To Know If You're The Problem | Love | E555 Sep 10, 2026

Show notes

We can all spot controlling people seeking influence over us. But what about our blind spots?

What happens when other people are feeling controlled by us and we don't even realize what we're doing?

Turns out what many of us call “helping” can feel controlling to our partners.

This is not anything to feel bad about or ashamed of. It's just reality. Control issues rarely feel controlling when we’re doing it. They feel like being right. Keeping things on track. Getting your partner to understand. Making sure nothing goes wrong.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby sits down with Seth Bender, M.A., LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach at Growing Self, to expose what control issues actually look like — including the ones you may not recognize in yourself.

You’ll learn:

Why control itself isn’t the problem
The hidden reason you need things to go your way
How to recognize your personal “rattlesnake rattles” before you react
When reassurance quietly becomes control
Why trying to control your partner backfires
How to stop managing them and start managing yourself

Because sometimes the hardest relationship truth is this:

You may not experience yourself the way your partner experiences you.

And being willing to see that could change everything.

If this hits close to home, Seth can help. He works with individuals and couples to understand these deeper patterns, rebuild emotional safety, and create real change without blame or shame.

Book a free consultation with Seth at growingself.com/seth.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Why You Say Yes When You Really Mean No (And How To Start Setting Boundaries With Confidence) | Success | E554 Sep 07, 2026

Show notes

You said yes.

You smiled. You went along with it.

And afterward, you thought: Why didn’t I say something?

If you struggle to stand up for yourself, Dr. Sunita Sah has a surprising message for you: You do not need to become louder, tougher, or more confrontational.

Defiance is a skill. And you can practice it.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Cornell professor and DEFY author Dr. Sunita Sah reveal how to stop automatically complying and start acting in alignment with what you actually believe.

In this episode you’ll learn:

Why staying silent can cost you more than speaking up
The 3-question “Defiance Compass” for deciding when to act
Why surprise makes it so hard to stand up for yourself
The difference between compliance and a true yes
How to practice speaking up before the pressure is on
When “standing up for yourself” actually becomes false defiance

You don’t need a bigger personality.

You need to know what matters to you — and what you’re going to do when it matters.

Ready to stop saying yes when you mean no? Let’s get into it.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

⁠Growing Self⁠

PS: As you heard in this conversation, being able to know how you feel and set healthy boundaries with others has roots that go deep. We all have work to do around this. If you'd like to dig into this with an expert coaching therapist who can help you make these changes, get in touch. It all starts with a free conversation.

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

Hostile Work Environment? Why HR May Not Be On Your Side | Success | E553 Sep 03, 2026

Show notes

Your workplace feels wrong. But do you actually know what you’re dealing with?

If you've been calling your job a hostile work environment, stop…because that phrase carries more weight than you might realize. It's a term with a specific meaning, and the words you use can change what happens next.

Because “hostile” and “toxic” do not mean the same thing. One is a description. The other can raise a legal red flag. I didn't know the distinction either until my guest, clinical psychologist and organizational consultant Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, stopped me mid-conversation and explained it.

And that wasn't the only moment that made me sit up straighter.

HR is not actually there to protect you.

If your workplace is making you miserable, you may feel like you have two choices: put up with it or quit. But there is an enormous middle ground between those two options, and you may have far more power than you realize.

Listen to learn:

The critical difference between a toxic and hostile work environment
The 3 questions to ask when something at work feels seriously wrong
What you need to understand about HR before asking for help
How to recognize when workplace behavior may be crossing a legal line
What you can do when quitting isn’t an option
How to create change, even when you’re not in charge

This isn't just a conversation about surviving a bad workplace. It's about what you can actually do about it.

By the end, you'll have concrete moves you can start making Monday morning. No new title, no permission, and no resignation letter required.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs
Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected