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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 491: Dr. Lacey Bagley, LMFT (she/her), Queer LDS, Owner of Celebrate Therapy Dec 26, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Dr. Lacey (she/her; married mother of two) shares her story as a queer Latter-day Saint. Lacey talks about growing up as a Latter-day Saint and remaining a practicing member of the Church, following her impressions to change her career path (which includes getting a masters degree and PhD in marriage and family therapy), finding her husband Evan (who loves and supports Lacey), coming out as queer, and then opening a queer clinical practice for queer client. Dr. Lacey also shared helpful insights for Latter-day Saint parents raising LGBTQIA+ children and the role therapists (practicing ethical therapy) have in helping their children find their best path forward. If you are LGBTQIA+ or a parent of an LGBTQIA+ child, please listen to this podcast. Dr. Lacey has wonderful insights and experiences to help us all do better. You can reach Dr. Lacey at https://www.celebratetherapy.org or lacey@celebratetherapy.org. You can also find a directory of Queer Mormon Therapists online at https://www.queermormontherapists.com. Thank you for being on the podcast Dr. Bagley and your good work (as well as everyone at Celebrate Therapy) to help bring more understanding and hope. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 490: Jackson Jensen, Gay Latter-day Saint Dec 22, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Jackson Jensen (age 22, RM from Lubbock Texas) shares his story. Jackson starts bravely sharing his story being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 8. Jackson, with a prompting from the Spirit, at age 16 told his family about his sexual abuse and how freeing and helpful it was to finally open up about this traumatic experience. Concurrent with telling his family about this sexual abuse, Jackson is privately working to understand his sexual orientation. The journey continued during his mission in Texas. Jackson shares his conclusion that being gay is not because he was sexually abused. There are two different parts of Jackson’s story. This is consistent with other stories shared in my book (Chapter 3/False Statement 3; link below) Jackson also shares what he is learning and why is come out publicly in March 2021 (see https://www.facebook.com/jackson.jensen.12/posts/3335259683242812) and his hopes for the future. You can connect with Jackson on Instagram @jacksonterral and Facebook (www.facebook.com/jackson.jensen.12) Thank you Jackson for the courage to share you story. Respect. You are a good man, doing good things with your God-given talents and doing much to make this world a better place. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 489: Benée Larsen and Heidi Peterson Dutson, Suicide Prevention Dec 19, 2021
    Show notes

    n this episode, Benée and Heidi share their experience to help us better understand the resources available in Utah to help those struggling with suicide ideation. In particular, they explore resources that can help faith climates develop a culture of safety, help-seeking and hope. Research shows that talking about suicide reduces stigma and risk associated with suicide ideation. QPR Training in faith settings is a great way to help others understand their role in suicide prevention, especially how to have these crucial and needed conversations in our congregations and families. Benée and Heidi and also share practical insights for all of us to help those who are considering suicide and for those who are currently experiencing suicide ideation. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, know your not alone and hear some tips on how to cope. Please listen to this podcast. I learned so much from these two remarkable women. We need to have these conversations and be unified in our efforts to better support those who are considering suicide. Resources mentioned in this podcast can be found on the following websites: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness ttps://www.namiut.org/) NAMI Utah’s Peer Mentor Line: 801-323-9900 Monday-Friday 9 am-4 pm Live On Utah (https://liveonutah.org/) LiveOn: Finding a mental health professional Search for treatment and services at the SAMHSA Treatment directory – https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ or https://findtreatment.gov/ Psychology Today – find a therapist, treatment, etc. Sort resources by zip code, race, ethnicity, mental or substance use need, and more. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Suicide Prevention for Faith Leaders: (https://liveonutah.org/faith/) Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition: If you are interested in joining the Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition, which meets on the 2nd Monday every other month beginning January 10th from 1 pm-2:30 via Zoom. If interested, reach out to me via email to be added to our email list. (https://liveonutah.org/contact/) QPR Training (https://liveonutah.org/resources/trainings/), (https://www.namiut.org/our-programs/for-families-caregivers/qpr-suicide-prevention-training) Utah Prevention Coalition Association: www.utahprevention.org Grief Support: Caring Connections support groups

    Episode 488: Spencer H., RM, Paraglider Pilot, Gay Latter-day Saint Dec 16, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Spencer H. shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer talks about the difficult and dark times—especially in his early twenties—trying to date women and reconcile the complexity of his life. Spencer talks about opening up to his parents and siblings and how they walked together with him on his journey. Their guidance and encouragement helped him seek personal revelation for his path forward which led to hope, a strong relationship with God, and clarity. Spencer is in a great place emotionally and spiritually and full of hope for his future—a future that includes plans to marry a man and stay close to Heavenly Father and Christ. Spencer has great insights about using gospel principles to seek personal revelation and managing the paradoxes of being gay and a Latter-day Saint. You can also check out Spencer's blog https://soyouremormonandgay.blogspot.com/2021/01/spencers-story.html) Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. And thanks to your wonderful family. You have a great life ahead of you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 487: Jonathan Rogers, LGBTQ Ally Dec 12, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Jonathan Rogers (Married father of two) joins us from his home in Georgia to share some of his story. Jonathan starts by bravely sharing working through worthiness issues in his teens which put him in a dark place feeling outside of God’s love and full of shame. Jonathan talks about the love, kindness and compassion he would give to his younger self to eliminate needless shame and self-loathing. Jonathan talks about his road to listen to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their often painful experiences. Jonathan talks about his love for our LGBTQ friends and what we can do to better support them. Jonathan talks about his faith-crisis and how he is navigating being an active Latter-day Saint and holding space for everyone on their respective paths. Jonathan, who is a moderator of Mormons Building Bridges, is working hard to building bridges and bring more understanding to see everyone as members of the same human family. Thank you Jonathan for being on the podcast and all your great work to bring hope and healing. You are a good man and friend.

    Episode 486: bj Nelson, Transgender Woman, Age 67, Married, Active LDS Dec 10, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend bj Nelson (RM, active LDS, married with 4 children and 14 grandchildren) shares her story of over fifty years of gender dysphoria. bj shares the decision to finally come out to her wife Donna in April 2017 and her time in the closet “expired”. bj talks about the role of Encircle to provide hope and healing. bj talks about the personal revelation she is receiving from her Heavenly Father and how she believes He loves all of her—and how bj would not longer choose a different road. bj talks about her supportive wife, their love story and how they are walking this road together. bj talks about a supportive ward and being welcome in Relief Society. bj has a long view (over fifty years) of being transgender and has insights, suggestions and principles to help other transgender Latter-day Saints (and their families). If you’d like to learn more about transgender Latter-day Saints, how to be more supportive, and how to value their contributions, please listen to bj’s story. bj and her story is helping us better create Zion. Thank you bj for being on the podcast and sharing your story. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 485: Dr. Susan R. Madsen, Utah State Professor, LDS Author Dec 07, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Dr. Susan Madsen (married mother of four and two grandchildren) joins us to talk about her new book called “A Future Only God Can See For You: A Guide for Teen and Young Adult Women and Preparing to Lead” (https://www.amazon.com/Future-Only-God-Can-See/dp/1462140521). This is an important book for LDS women to see and act on their God given potential and mission to lead. Susan shares insights from her own journey as a Latter-day Saint women following her impressions ‘to not stay in the box’ on her path when led her to a doctorate degree, being a college professor, author, worldwide speaker, and the Founding Director of the Utah Women and Leadership Project (https://www.usu.edu/uwlp/). If you are a Latter-day Saint women and want to increase your hope and vision, please read this book. If you are male and want to better amplify the voices and use the gifts of women to build Zion, please read this book. It will help all of us do better. Thank you Susan for being on the podcast and your great work. You are making a difference for good in so many areas.

    Episode 484: Frasier Perez, Early-Release Missionary Dec 03, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Frasier Perez, who grew up in Temecula California, shares his story of being an early release missionary from the McAllen, Texas mission. Frasier, during his first transfer, shares realizing he was experiencing something different than normal homesickness as this emotional health declined which led to thoughts of suicide. Frasier bravely opened up with those thoughts to his mission leaders, companion, and family which led to the help he needed and deserved. During his second transfer, once things didn’t improve, Frasier returned home. Frasier talks about what people in his circle did to help him feel welcome and loved and offers suggestions on what we can do to improve our culture to be more loving and accepting. Frasier has deep peace that he did all that he could do and is square with God. Frasier is now looking forward focusing on his bright future and sharing his story to give hope and more understanding. Thank you Frasier for sharing your story. It will help so many. Great job my friend ** Please check out my new book that has a chapter about supporting early-release missionaries: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**

    Episode 483: Barry Donakey, Gay Latter-day Saint Dec 01, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Barry Donakey (BYU Senior, BYU English/Spanish Studies Major) shares his story. Barry (who graduated from Timpanogos High School in 2016) talks about “when did you know,” managing expectations for a heteronormative marriage, and coming out to family and friends (great support). Barry talks about the need to improve Church culture to talk about supporting LGBTQ members and hearing their stories in church-supported settings. Barry shares his experience with the LGBTQ+ & Allies workshop series at the Utah Valley University (UVU) LDS Institute and how this can be scaled into our local areas of influence. Barry shares insights and principles from the scriptures that give him direction and hope for his future and also how he manages the frustrations he feels at times as a gay Latter-day Saint who is also fully active in the Church. Thank you Barry for being you and for your insights to help us better create Zion. You are a good man and your voice and perspective is so needed and helpful. Thank you for being on the podcast. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 482: Jaime Clemmer, 10-Year-Old Son Sawyer’s Sudden Death Nov 28, 2021
    Show notes

    My friend Jaime Clemmer, married mother of 4, joins us via Zoom from her home in Virginia to share the story their 10-year-old son Sawyer’s sudden death that started with a seizure at school. Jaime talks about her book (at Deseret Book and Amazon) called Heartbroken, But Not Broken (www.amazon.com/Heartbroken-but-Broken-Jaime-Clemmer/dp/1462140165/ or deseretbook.com/p/heartbroken-but-not-broken) Jaime writes: “We live in a culture that seldom speaks opening about grief. In some instances, we are even embarrassed to show our sorrow. Why are we ashamed to cry? Why do we feel that sharing sadness in unacceptable? How can we effectively mourn with those who mourn if no one is willing to share their heartache?” We need to improve Latter-day Saint culture about how we handle grief and trauma. Jaimie is helping us to do this so we can better love and support each other. Please listen to this podcast—I learned so much from Jaimie. Please read and share her book. You can learn more about Jaime and Sawyer at https://www.heartbrokenbutnotbroken.com/ Thank you Jaime for being on the podcast. You are helping so many. And we are all so sorry that Sawyer is gone.

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