Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

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CC: It's Time for You to Lead (and Think for Yourself!) Aug 15, 2020

Show notes

Where are the leaders during this intense time? Look in the mirror. It's time for YOU to step up. In this episode, Christine talks about why you are needed as a leader. She also shares about COVID, vaccines, human trafficking and more . . . and asks you to think for yourself. Seeking truth and not believing everything we are told is crucial right now. Christine shares thoughts and resources and asks you to use both critical and esoteric thinking to form your beliefs and motivate your actions. Resources mentioned: Dr. Sherri Tenpenny's interview on London Real: https://www.globalplayer.com/podcasts/episodes/7DrbmW4/ Christina Hildabrant's video on vaccines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSVLChgt330&feature=youtu.be John Paul Rice on IGTV: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CDpLP3IlaXy/ His film: A Chid's Voice

EP 257: Breaking the Silence About Child Abuse with Bianca Aug 12, 2020

Show notes

This call is about healing trauma that comes from being sexualized as a child. Recent events have triggered today's caller, Bianca, who was traumatized by her parents as a child. And, even though she was subjected to pitiful parenting, she still wants to love and protect them. We discuss the importance of making her healing a priority and how nothing that happened was her fault.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode257]

People who have been abused, especially by people they love and trust, are usually not quick to jump to anger. They may minimize the evilness of the actions.

So, when we are working with people who have been victims in any way, we have to have compassion for the side of them that loves and wants to protect their abusers. It often takes some time for them to get to anger and to take action because it is a deep and confusing entanglement for the victim.

We have to put ourselves in the victim's shoes and realize they love these people. We cannot expect them to have the same reaction as we do. They cannot get to the anger and disgust right away because they don't see their abusers as awful people. If the abusers are their parents, they may still be trying to get love from them.

If you have endured trauma and are ready to heal, know that it is not something you can navigate alone just by listening to a podcast, doing an online workshop, or reading some books about it. It is important to find a trauma-informed therapist.

August 28–30, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can't attend the workshop in its entirety you will have online access to it for 30 days. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated to rescue organizations.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Were you raised in what you know or think was an abusive environment but since you have no to very little memories you doubt it or even minimize it?
Do you have sexual anxiety? Is it hard for you to feel relaxed when it comes to sex or even someone being affectionate, touching you? Do you dissociate from your body? Do you wonder if it's because something not so right happened to you when you were a kid?
Has there been someone in your life you love a lot, like a parent who's also hurt you, and so it's hard for you to face the pain because you love the person that hurt you and you want to protect them?
Did what I shared about human trafficking rattle you? Are you feeling called to be involved to save the children from these horrific acts?

Bianca's Question:

Bianca feels sexual anxiety and would like guidance on how to start healing.

Bianca's Key Insights and Ahas:

Her parents groomed and sexualized her.
Her father physically abused her.
She has very few memories of her childhood.
A recent event triggered her memories.
She has a high tolerance for hurt.
She wants to help her parents, not hurt them.
She hasn't found a compassionate therapist who makes her feel safe.
She has a gentle side and a warrior side.
She still loves her parents but may not be able to forgive them.
She feels uncomfortable when her significant other is physically affectionate.
Her body doesn't know the difference between pain and pleasure.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Find a professional therapist to work with.
Understand that nothing that happened was her fault.
Make herself a priority, not her parents.
Know that there is a way to heal.
Follow the stories of other survivors.
Find allies to help her heal.

Takeaways:

If you are a victim in any way of mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, or sexual abuse, get help. Trauma is not something that heals on its own. It's not like a cut on your hand that just scabs over. Professional help is a requirement.
If you were activated by this episode and you want to get involved here are three resources, OurRescue.org, SharedHope.org, and DestinyRescue.org.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

CC: Astral Hustle with Cory Allen Aug 08, 2020

Show notes

Cory Allen is an author, podcast host, meditation teacher, and audio engineer. He is passionate about how to live better using principles of mindfulness, neuroscience, and philosophy.

We discuss Cory's journey to meditation and how it is an effective tool for adding coherence, awareness, and compassion to life.

You can learn more from Cory through his book, Now is the Way, and his online meditation course called Release Into Now. He is excellent at teaching people how to meditate with clear and concise methods.

Connect with Cory here: http://www.cory-allen.com/

EP 256: How to Release Stuck Feelings with Luanna Aug 05, 2020

Show notes

This call is about how to move feelings, especially if those feelings get stuck as energy in your body. Today's caller, Luanna, is having difficulty expressing her feelings and vulnerability. This episode demonstrates what it looks like when you actualize recommendations or therapies perfectly but the tension and tightness in your body don't shift.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode256]

We all give our parents too much power. We make what they said and what they did matter way too much. Remember, our parents are humans, and more importantly, they are wounded inner children who probably didn't get the parenting they needed. So, if you're holding on to something your parents did, said, or just their voices in your head, I encourage you to get it out and find your own inner parent.

Anger is not useful when it is in our heads because there is no release for it. If it is hard for you to get angry and use or write angry words, you may be resistant to doing it because you feel like you are betraying the person. If this feels true for you, start by moving energy through sound, movement, and breathwork.

This is a trying time emotionally, mentally, and financially so in August, I am giving away $5,000 in personal development grant money. Ten people will receive $500 to invest in themselves. Go to ChristineHassler.com/grant to fill out the application. I will announce the grant recipients on an Instagram Live.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever feel like your feelings get stuck or maybe you do, with tension in your belly, tightness in your chest, and no matter what you do just can't seem to move it?
Did you grow up thinking or being told that vulnerability was weak, that you had to be strong and you felt like your emotions couldn't be expressed?
Do you get in your head a lot? Can you psychoanalyze yourself but when it comes to feeling your feelings you get a little lost?
Are you someone that can endure a lot but when it comes to letting it go, it isn't easy?

Luanna's Question:

Luanna struggles to express her vulnerability. She would like guidance on how to release her emotions and live free of her mother's control.

Luanna's Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels her energy is stuck in her belly.
She is starting a business.
She hears her mother's voice telling her she is not capable of attaining her dreams.
As a child, she wanted her mother to let her express her feelings.
She adopts her mother's limiting beliefs as her own.
She isn't going after what she wants because she doesn't want to hurt her family.
It is hard for her to feel anger.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Give herself permission to be angry and feel her feelings.
Stop giving her mother power over her life.
Practice release writing, dancing, or physical exertion to release the energy.
Find a therapist who practices Somatic Therapy.
Make a guttural sound with deep breaths to release her anger and sadness.
Create a safe space for healing.

Takeaways:

Empower yourself. Stop giving something your parents said or did more energy than it deserves.
If you have a hard time getting angry because it feels like a betrayal, use movement or sound or do letter writing instead.
If feelings feel stuck, try a somatic, body-based approach.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

CC: Be More With Less with Courtney Carver Aug 01, 2020

Show notes

If you've been searching for a place to help you simplify your life, declutter your mind, and connect with your heart then you are going to love this conversation. Courtney Carver joins Christine to talk about minimalism. She created Be More with Less and minimalist fashion challenge Project 333 after spending much of her adult life tired, stressed, sick and doing work she didn't care about to make ends meet. After years of decluttering and letting go, she realized that happiness isn't waiting for us, it's within us.

Learn more here: https://bemorewithless.com/

EP 255: Healing Anger with Sean Jul 29, 2020

Show notes

This call is a deep dive into what causes anger and what lies beneath the surface of anger. As a child, today's caller, Sean, experienced emotional abuse from his parents. He would like to move past managing his anger and start healing it. Oftentimes, men put on a mask and reject the scared little boy who experienced wounding. And in many ways, little boys are more sensitive and tender than little girls but they are told to hide their feelings.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode255]

Men deal with anger in aggressive or passive ways. If anger isn't dealt with in a healthy way, men either become aggressive and have outbursts such as yelling and throwing things, putting those they love through emotional turmoil. Or, they are super-passive and withdraw. They allow other people, especially women to push them around and emasculate them. Passive anger gets turned inward because they become incredibly self-critical. Anger left unprocessed or anger left unhealed creates incredible self-criticism. We are hard on ourselves when we have unprocessed anger.

When we communicate from a wounded place we can be lethal. People can't hear us because they have to defend themselves.

A lot of times when we attempt to avoid sadness, we laugh. We default to humor because our pain is so big that it is hard to feel it. I encourage people to go into the pain on a regular basis and own the anger to break out of the cycle.

When we tap into anger it can feel scary. It is important to have someone who can hold a safe space for us.

On the last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can't attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

How is your temper? Do you tend to hold things inside and then, once you reach your breaking point, you snap?
Do you often react in an angry or impatient way and you feel scared or hurt people in your life?
As a child, did you truly feel like someone held space for your emotions?
Are there people in your life, perhaps even your parents, that you cannot forgive, even though intellectually, you know you should?

Sean's Question:

Sean has a sizable amount of anger and would like guidance on how to release it.

Sean's Key Insights and Ahas:

He is married with children.
He's grown tired of causing chaos in his home.
There was mental and emotional abuse in his childhood home.
He had an eating disorder.
He judges himself for being angry.
He has tried to express his feelings.
He has done personal and grief work.
He gets triggered when he feels criticized.
His current family dynamic reminds him of his childhood.
He uses humor as a coping mechanism.
He judges his parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Acknowledge that it is healthy to have anger.
Find a healthy physical release for the anger.
Be mindful of using humor as a deflection.
Connect with his inner child when he is triggered to anger.
Release his feelings with writing.
Stop blaming his parents and own his feelings.
Give himself unconditional love and acceptance.
Discontinue managing his wounds and start healing them.

Takeaways:

Look at your relationship with anger. Do you relate to being the more outburst aggressive or are you more passive and internalize it?
Create a space for you to do the temper tantrum technique. Go to ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease for a free download.
Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
Own those parts of yourself you may not like so much. If you continue to shame, judge, and blame them, they are not going to heal.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

CC: Pursue Your Passions Without Sacrificing Self-Care with Charlene Izene Jul 25, 2020

Show notes

Charlene Izere is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She is the founder of 3 brands: Melanin & Money, Wellness Delivered, and Soulful Systems. Through her platforms, she empowers women to live life on their own terms through systems, self-care, and entrepreneurship.

As a Black woman, carving out her empire out here in these entrepreneurial streets, she knows first hand how disheartening it can be to feel underrepresented, longing for community, and support by women who get it. Her mission? To put money and opportunity in the hands of Black women.

When Charlene isn't strategizing with her clients or hosting an event, she enjoys playing video games, collaging, and self-caring.

EP 254: Stop Feeling Like You Are Always Getting it Wrong with Tanya Jul 22, 2020

Show notes

This call is about reconnecting with an inner child. Today's caller, Tanya, grew up in an unstable environment and, as a result, second-guesses the choices she makes. She invites people into her life in an effort to get the love she never received as a child but the relationships play out much like her childhood, chaotic and uncertain. We discuss the ways she can reconnect with herself through vulnerability and gratitude.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode254]

When you are dating, making friends, or when you are just out in the world, you want authenticity. You don't want to go on a date with someone or be in a business meeting with someone who is inauthentic. Who wants that? We can expect authenticity. We want someone to be real and we want them to tell us the truth but we have to earn a person's vulnerability.

When someone is vulnerable with us it should feel like actual true intimacy, not like we are special or we are getting an inside look. Be mindful of that. Don't get seduced by faux vulnerability. There is a lot of seductive vulnerability and fake vulnerability in the world. We can expect and should expect authenticity from people but we must earn their vulnerability.

Seductive vulnerability is if you are new in meeting someone or dating someone and they start being super vulnerable, like telling you their deepest darkest secrets and opening up without a lot of trust built between you. It may make you feel special but it is more seductive vulnerability than true vulnerability. True vulnerability comes when you feel safe with another person and you feel seen.

The last weekend of August, we are offering another Virtual Inner Child Workshop. This event is for those ready to do deep, internal work. The early bird discount of $100 off is available until July 31st. Visit ChristineHassler.com/innerchild or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com. If you can't attend the workshop in its entirety you will have access to it for 30-days.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

What happens when you feel out of control? Do you blame others then blame yourself? What do you do to try to get control back?
Do you have a feeling like you're always doing it wrong, constantly questioning yourself, or constantly feeling like when something goes wrong it's your fault?
Did you grow up in a home where you had a lot of uncertainty?
How do you feel about intimacy and true vulnerability? Are you vulnerable in your relationships and have true intimacy with others? Or, are there still some patterns that prevent you from true vulnerability and intimacy?
Have you ever been seduced by someone else's faux vulnerability?

Tanya's Question:

Tanya questions herself and her choices and is asking for guidance about being vulnerable.

Tanya's Key Insights and Ahas:

She blames herself and always feels wrong.
There was a lot of uncertainty in her home growing up.
She has done a lot of inner child work.
She has a history of dating the wrong people.
Her mother's moods controlled her young life.
She evaluates other people as above or below her.
She evaluates herself through a systematic approach.
She constantly tried to figure out how to get her mother's love.
She put up a wall to protect herself.
She is seeking connection.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Realize she is not wrong.
Learn how to be in a relationship with feelings and vulnerability.
Give up dating for a while and work on being in friendships.
Be mindful of the difference between authentic vulnerability and charm.
Do deep inner child work and reconnect with herself.
Recognize the full-body yeses in her life.

Takeaways:

Join us in August for the Inner Child Workshop.
Look at, especially if you're dating and have relationships, at how you are playing out unresolved wounding with either mom or dad in those relationships.
Research vulnerability. Brené Brown is a great resource for vulnerability.
If you are blaming yourself for something because it's giving you a false sense of control, be aware of what you are doing and make a list of all the things you are certain of, and then follow that up with a list of all the things you're grateful for.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.