Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: How to Manage Growth Spurts (aka Difficult Times) in Relationship Apr 17, 2021

Show notes

Stefanos joins Christine again to share tips for how to manage challenging conversations and moments in a relationship. Any relationship, not just romantic ones, hit periods of growth where the relationship needs to get to the next level. This can be confronting for one or both people. In this episode we give you advice on when to pause and allow integration to happen (rather than keep processing) as well as a tool called "pendulating." To join us for our group coaching call on relationships, go to www.christinehassler.com/group

EP 292: Stop Obsessive Thinking with Demi Apr 14, 2021

Show notes

This episode is about calming an anxious or hypervigilant mind. Today's caller, Demi, has a pattern of obsessive-compulsive thinking, anxiety, and a worst-case scenario mindset. She would like guidance on how to calm her mind and be more compassionate with herself. It is a very human trait to worry and have anxiety, especially for people who grew up in a chaotic home.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode292]

One of the ways we can deal with hypervigilance or anxiety is by witnessing it. It is important we do our best not to make it wrong and accept it. The moment we realize it is not us, the moment we recognize it as OCD, our inner critic, or when we can name it, it gives us a sense of control. It makes it feel as if it is not a runaway train. That's how we begin to calm down.

The pattern of not being able to relax but also feeling like you are not doing enough is caused by the emotion underneath the hypervigilance we don't want to feel. And, with hypervigilance comes increased sensitivity. Increased sensitivity usually means more connection to intuition, compassion, and empathy.

People who grew up in a chaotic home may have a hard time relaxing because often, that was the calm before the storm. Having an emotional release with no judgment is an important part of working with this.

If you know someone who isn't able to calm down or "just not think" about something it is important to have sensitivity and compassion for them because it can be maddening for the person dealing with anxiety or OCD to be told to calm down when the pattern is playing out.

Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to get on the early bird list for our upcoming Relationship Retreat.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you tend to have an overactive brain?
Do you struggle with indecision and a pattern of you feel like you can never do enough?
Do you deal with FOMO or "shoulding" all over yourself?
Do you have a strong intuition but either don't listen to it or question yourself?

Demi's Question:

Demi has struggled with overthinking and FOMO since her teen years and would like guidance on how to calm herself.

Demi's Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels like she is not doing enough.
Her mind gets loud, and she overanalyzes everything.
She suffers from anxiety.
There was instability in her childhood home.
Her parents had a chaotic relationship.
She recently started therapy.
She has studied Somatic therapy.
She loves herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Become aware of her inner critic and accept it with compassion.
Forgive herself for being hard on herself.
Practice release writing.
Realize she is not her thoughts.
Get out of her mind by shaking her body or breathing to move her energy around.

Takeaways:

If you have people in your life who tell you to calm down or to not think about something, do your best to have boundaries about it.
The moment you notice a pattern starting, separate yourself from it. Don't judge it. Notice it, then love it and accept it.
Use physical calming techniques to move the energy around in the body.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Truths (and Inspiration) about Fertility & Pregnancy Apr 10, 2021

Show notes

I have looked long and hard for a fertility expert that has both heart and correct, research backed, up to date expertise...and I found it all in Dr. Cleopatra. If you have any questions or concerns about your reproductive health and longevity, you will love this reassuring and informative episode.

Dr. Cleopatra is The Fertility Strategist and Executive Director of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute.

The mission of the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute is to see what others can't using the best of love, science, and commitment to help ensure that your fertility keeps up with your high-achieving life so that you get to have as many superbabies as your heart desires.

Dr. Cleopatra is a scientist and university professor specializing in fertility, pregnancy, and how health is transmitted from one generation to the next. To date, she has received nearly $3 million in grant funding from the National Institutes of Health, the National Science Foundation, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and others. Dr. Cleopatra has been cited over 1,000 times in the past 5 years alone. Dr. Cleopatra teaches women about the primemester—the magical and powerful window of opportunity before pregnancy—when we literally have the power to change the quality and expression of the genes that we pass down to our babies and grandbabies. Using the science-based, big-hearted PrimemesterTM Protocol developed and refined by Dr. Cleopatra over the past 24 years, the Fertility & Pregnancy Institute helps women all over the world reverse reproductive aging; get pregnant quickly and easily; reduce miscarriage risk; and finally have the superbaby™ they have been dreaming of for as long as they can remember. Dr. Cleopatra is the author of the forthcoming book, "Primemester to Your Superbaby™."

Learn more at christinehassler.com/drcleo

EP 291: Learning to Leave a Bad Situation at the First Sign with Barbara Apr 07, 2021

Show notes

This episode is about letting go of patterns and relationships that no longer serve you. Today's caller, Barbara, has a pattern of staying in things long after they are dead, long after the signs say something is no longer in alignment with her life, or it is depleting her life in some way. The pattern of trying to breathe new life into something already dead is a waste of a precious life force. If you can relate to holding on to things for too long or staying in relationships after their expiration date has expired, this episode is for you.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode291]

Being able to nurture and be empathetic and feel what others are going through is a gift. Gifts usually come with a learning opportunity. The gift of being incredibly caring and empathic comes with the learning opportunity of boundaries, of not loving or caring for another so much that we lose sight of ourselves.

If you want to step into your gifts as a healer, empath, teacher, or true caregiver without depleting yourself, for your gifts to flourish you have to break the pattern of giving to dead ends. Break the pattern of giving so much you deplete yourself of your energy, self-care, self-worth, and self-love. Break the cycle of giving to dead ends, nourish your gifts, and use them in a way they can be fully received.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Are you a natural nurturer, or caretaker so much so that it often depletes your self-care?
Is it hard for you to leave situations or relationships or let go of expectations for your life?
Do you keep trying to make something work when you know deep down it probably will not?
Do you feel like a doormat and as if your needs come last?
When you set boundaries to take care of yourself, does it cause you guilt and concern about how the other person is doing more than how you are doing?

Barbara's Question:

Barbara is questioning staying in her current relationship.

Barbara's Key Insights and Ahas:

Her boyfriend is in the hospital after threatening to kill her.
She doesn't know the mental status of her boyfriend.
She doesn't feel it is in her highest good to stay in her relationship.
She is in therapy.
Her boyfriend's family is giving her the cold shoulder.
She hasn't had her needs met in her relationships.
She is a natural empath.
She works in a nursing home.
She has a good friend she can heal with.
She doesn't want to get into another relationship.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Take care of herself as she cares for others.
Step away from this relationship.
Be aware that her self-worth is not based on how she takes care of others.
No more sacrificing herself.
Self-care is her number one priority.
Join the next Inner Child workshop with her friend.
Make a list of all of the reasons this relationship is not a fit for her.

Takeaways:

What are the warning signs you have gotten in your life about a person or situation that wasn't truly aligned and you ignored them?
Look at your patterns of people-pleasing and overgiving and know your self-worth and value do not come from helping others.
If you are in a helping profession, make sure you take quality time to take care of yourself and fill your own cup.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Tips for Healthier Relationships with Christine & Stef Apr 03, 2021

Show notes

Stef (Christine's husband) is back on the podcast to talk with me about the common challenges we see couples face and how to overcome them. We will also be hosting a virtual relationship retreat in June, go to www.christinehassler.com/relationshipsupport to get on the early bird list for discounts and details.

EP 290: Facing and Loving Our Fears with Mikaela Mar 31, 2021

Show notes

This episode is about loving our inner child and making them feel safe. Today's caller, Mikaela, has a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety stemming from the chaos that surrounded her in her childhood home. She wants to feel safe and be seen. This call is great support for any of you who feel fear even if it isn't reasonable for a situation. Or, those of you who are confused about how to connect to your inner child.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode290]

For parents or anybody who wants to be a parent, it is very important you continue to parent, or start to parent your inner child when you have children. When someone who had a difficult childhood has a child, they become a great parent to their child. Much better than the parents they had. But it can activate their inner child because their inner child wants to know why they are not receiving the same love and attention from them. Our inner children can act up and act out.

Parenting our inner child does not take anything away from our children. It actually gives to them because our children are unconsciously learning from us all the time. When we are parenting ourselves well, they feel that. And, in return, we are a better parent to them. We are not triggered as much by our children when we are parenting our inner child.

Remember, we do not want to be anxious about our anxiety. We do not want to be scared about our fear. Because when we are anxious about our fear and anxiety it becomes worse.

If you would like to move unconscious stuff and move it into a vibration where you can attract different things into your life, listen to our special breathwork and meditation series. Save $30 on the eight guided sessions when you use the code "breathe" at ChristineHassler.com/breathwork.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you ever have a big fear that comes up but it does not quite match the situation?
When fear overcomes you, is it hard to calm down and break free from it?
Did you grow up in a house full of chaos where you didn't feel safe?
Did you or do you ever just want to hide and be invisible?

Mikaela's Question:

Mikaela has feelings of inadequacy and fear. She would like guidance on how to become calm and free herself of those feelings.

Mikaela's Key Insights and Ahas:

There was a lot of chaos in her childhood home.
Her father was an abusive alcoholic.
She tried to make herself invisible.
She has tremendous fear.
No one ever recognized how scared she was.
She wanted someone to comfort her and make her feel safe.
She feels grief for herself as a child.
She compares herself to others.
She feels robbed of her childhood.
She is self-conscious.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Connect to her inner child to make her feel seen and safe.
Visualize her adult self removing her inner child from the chaos.
Acknowledge and honor her grief.
Forgive herself for any misunderstandings.

Takeaways:

If you have consistent levels of fear or anxiety that don't match a situation, it is an alarm bell being activated or triggered. Instead of trying to calm yourself, experiment with following the feeling in a soft, loving way.
Doing inner child work doesn't mean we re-experience and relive traumatic events. It means we grieve with the little one who is activated and let them express while being compassionate with them.
Invite your inner child to live in the present with you, not the past.
Get access to Inner Child Workshop recordings by emailing Jill@christinehassler.com.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

CC: Answering Your Questions Mar 27, 2021

Show notes

Christine answers two listener questions. The first is around the fear of abandonment....what causes is, how it shows up in life, and how to heal it. The second question is regarding how to be with friends going through a hard time without being "life coachy" with them. Also you can take the love block quiz Christine mentioned to find out what fear hold you back here: https://stefanossifandos.com/love-block-quiz/

EP 289: Moving Out of Overwhelm and Resistance with Nikhi Mar 24, 2021

Show notes

This episode is about how to shift personality patterns. Today's caller, Nikhi, is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and how to ask for what she wants. She has completed two Inner Child Workshops and is ready to work through the resistance she feels as she begins to shift her patterns.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode289]

Doing personal growth work, especially inner child work, doesn't mean that boom, all of a sudden you're healed. It takes time. The patterns we develop, the coping strategies, the results from our wounding have been there for many years. It takes time for something to move from awareness to integration.

The enduring pattern develops around age three because our need at that age is expression, to be able to express our feelings, to be able to express who we are, and to feel like it's safe to be ourselves. If we lived in a family where emotional expression wasn't encouraged, or we were to be seen, not heard, or we were told what to do, we had to figure out what to do just to not piss anybody off, we end up often with something called the enduring pattern. The enduring pattern is when we think we will just hold it all together or hold it all inside because it's not safe to express or speak our truth.

There are two parts to speaking up for yourself. Part one is speaking your needs and part two, continuing to speak up when you are met with criticism, gas-lighting, or feeling squashed.

Get on the interest list for our next couple's Relationship Retreat. It is a live, 3-day virtual retreat coming up in June. Christinehassler.com/relationshipsupport

Listen to past group coaching calls, ChristineHassler.com/group-coaching-replays, and listen to Coaches Corner with Erica Alaura for important energy cleansing work.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you get overwhelmed easily but yet have trouble asking for help?
Does your reaction to something, like your level of a reaction, sometimes not match the reality of the situation?
Are you hard on yourself? Do you have a fierce inner critic?
Do you internalize your feelings?
Is it difficult for you to ask for support?

Nikhi's Question:

Nikhi is looking for guidance on how to speak up for herself and ask for what she needs from an empowered place.

Nikhi's Key Insights and Ahas:

She feels disempowered.
She doesn't ask for what she needs and then feels shame about it.
She feels triggered and angry when her husband reminds her of things.
She is an empath.
She didn't feel seen or heard as a child.
She internalizes things that happen to her.
She has completed two Inner Child Workshops.
She has an anxious attachment style and an enduring personality pattern.
She gets overwhelmed easily.
She was not allowed to express anger as a child.
She struggles with structure.
Her subtle inner critic comes out as a sinking feeling.
She wants to find an accountability partner.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

Speak up and share her emotions.
Practice feeling and expressing her feelings.
Do 10-minutes of Release Writing or record thoughts on her phone daily.
Write a letter to her inner parent to re-read when she feels resistance.

Takeaways:

Discipline yourself with love and gentleness.
Don't put too much on your plate.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.