Let Them Lead: The Child-Led Autism Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Why the Easy Sessions Feel Like Not Enough (and Why That's Backwards) Oct 27, 2026

Show notes

Join me inside The Child-Led Collective!

Some of the best child-led sessions are quiet ones. The child is regulated, you're right there with them, and things just flow. Then the session ends and the doubt starts: did I even do my job? Nicole opens with a story about a therapist at her clinic. A parent asked what "work" they got done, and the therapist froze. Nicole has covered how to explain a session to parents, in notes, and to other adults. This time she goes further back and asks where the feeling comes from. She names five sources: the data sheet, the clock, the audience, our own exhaustion, and a narrow picture of what engagement should look like. Then she explains why an easy session is often the result of skilled work. She also shares video of one of her own sessions from a few years ago, where she went into "performer mode" with a child who needed something very different.

In this episode

01:13 The session that went almost too well, and the spiral that follows
03:10 A therapist gets asked "What work did you do?" and freezes
04:37 Common ground when parents and other adults use the word "work"
06:22 Asking where the self-doubt comes from
08:57 Source one: the data sheet
11:42 Source two: the clock
13:49 Source three: the audience, including parents watching and grad school perfectionism
16:18 Source four: exhaustion as a badge of honor
19:04 Source five: what we were taught engagement looks like, versus how it often looks for autistic kids
22:21 Why the easy session is often the result of the work
24:28 Nicole's own session video and "performer mode"
27:59 A simple check for the next time "I didn't do enough" shows up

Key takeaways

The feeling that a calm session "wasn't enough" was taught to us through data sheets, session minutes, productivity expectations, people watching us, burnout culture, and neurotypical ideas of engagement. It isn't a sign you did a bad job.
Much of child-led work doesn't fit trial-by-trial data. One meaningful moment can matter more than a sheet of tallies.
Packing more into a session can overwhelm a child and take away the downtime they need to try new skills and connect.
For many autistic kids, engagement can look like lining up toys while you hand them the next one, scripting while glancing at you, or bringing you something so you'll do something with it.
The better you get at being child-led, the easier your sessions can look, and the more your brain may say you're not doing enough.
Instead of judging a session by how much you did or how tired you are, ask: did what I offered match what the child needed? If yes, it was a productive session. If not, you know what to adjust.

Start With Hungry: Teaching Feelings Words That Stick Oct 20, 2026

Show notes

Join us inside The Child-Led Collective

An autistic child can point to "hurt" on a picture card in your therapy room. Five minutes later they fall on the playground, and they have no reliable way to tell anybody. So did we actually teach that child to communicate pain?

In this episode Nicole gets honest about the feelings activities she used to love (Howie's Owies, we're looking at you) and the gap she kept running into between knowing a feelings word and being able to reach for it when the body is actually feeling it. She walks through interoception from the inside, including a very personal story about her own ADHD, and shares the small shift at snack time that changed how she teaches feelings words.

Spoiler alert: it starts with a bag of goldfish.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE

Why a full data sheet on feelings words can fool all of us
The circle time kid who picks "happy" while actively crying
What interoception actually is, in plain language
Nicole's own story of a snoozed body alarm, and the shame that came with it
The one swap at snack time that costs you nothing: "I'm hungry" instead of "I want goldfish"
Why hunger, thirst, and full are the easiest feelings to start with
A 4 a.m. Twix bar and the summer of freeze pops (it's relevant, promise)
Why she stopped teaching "size of the problem"
Anger as the last stop on a road that started much earlier
The one moment she never tries to teach a feelings word
Howie's Owies, the JJ doll, and a set of Sonic visuals
Why one deep model beats 50 labels
The session where she modeled "I'm sick," and the text from a mom later that week
"Dinner, dinner, dinner time" and twenty animal crackers

Can AI Write Our Communication Goals? Oct 13, 2026

Show notes

A lot of SLPs are using AI to help write goals. Some of us chose it, some of us had a district choose for us, and some of us just opened our documentation software one day and there it was.

So let's say it out loud and talk about what actually matters.

Nicole recorded this one with 20 minutes before her next meeting (spoiler alert: she went two minutes over). She shares where she stands on AI and why she ended up in the middle, the three big reasons so many of us reach for it at goal writing time, and a question from a special education professor's blog post that she thinks we should all be asking about every sentence we write about a child.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE

Why this episode is not about whether AI is good or bad
Nicole's stance: not an AI purist, not fully anti-AI either
What it's like for an all-or-nothing brain to live in the middle
A business mastermind full of goat milk soap makers (it's relevant, promise)
The three reasons so many of us use AI for goal writing
The hours she used to spend staring at a blinking cursor for one goal
Why AI goals can sound perfect and still miss the point, or miss IDEA
The question underneath David Bateman's list: can I stand behind this sentence about this child?
Why Aligned Practice doesn't require AI at all

Here's the blog post mentioned in this episode: https://spedlawblog.com/2026/06/23/using-artificial-intelligence-ai-to-assist-in-writing-iep-goals/

What We Get Wrong When We Write Goals Oct 06, 2026

Show notes

You read the goal out loud. The parent nods. "Yep, that sounds good." And on to the next one.

But were they agreeing... or did nobody ever tell them they get a say?

In this episode Nicole looks at a question most of us spend almost no time on: who actually decides what we work on? She shares a small study of occupational therapists that held up an uncomfortable mirror, a story about a script she couldn't decode (and a mom who could), and an admission about parent coaching that a lot of us will recognize. Then she gets practical about bringing families in before the goal is written, and what to do when the questionnaire never comes back.

We Were Never Taught to Write Goals for Autistic Kids Sep 29, 2026

Show notes

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR DITCH DOCUMENTATION DREAD BOOTCAMP HERE!

It is eight o'clock at night, you have multiple IEPs due, and you are somewhere on page five of Google searching communication goals for autistic students. Everything coming up is either the exact kind of goal you are trying to get away from, or it is so vague you already know it will never fit.

Rumor has it we have all been here.

This episode is Nicole being honest about something that brought her shame for years: she used to write goals she did not believe in, and goals she sometimes did not even understand. She traces where that came from, why the format most of us use has no clear origin, and what has to happen before you can write a goal worth writing.

Fair warning, she gets a little fired up about 80% accuracy. She always does.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE

- The confession she says is hard to make out loud, and why she is making it anyway

- The goal with four competing numbers in it, and what it was actually measuring

- Why she overthought goals until she was right back at square one, and what that actually came from

- What her first job taught her about writing goals you are allowed to change

- The evaluation tools that were never built to show how an autistic child communicates

- What grad school actually covered, and the one thing it never covered at all

- How most of us really learned to write goals, and why that should worry us

- What the research says about goals that are not appropriate for the child

- Why communication functions grow together instead of stacking on each other

- The scissors example, and why communication is not a task

- Who decides when a child gets to communicate, and why "opportunities" answers that question badly

- The bubbles, the lid going back on, and asking again and again for the data

- Why 80% accuracy still annoys her, thirteen years in

- What she is teaching at the live bootcamp in October

Why Perfectionism Is So Rampant in Our Field Sep 22, 2026

Show notes

There's a version of this job where you never say "I don't know." Where you excuse yourself, look it up on your phone, and come back like you had it the whole time.

A professor I admired (and still do, genuinely) told my grad school class to do exactly that before our first practicums. At the time I thought, well, if that's what I have to do, I guess I'll do it. Thirteen years later, I think it's the worst advice I've ever heard.

This came to me on a whim while I was working on something else. No script, no notes. Just me thinking out loud about why perfectionism runs through our whole field.

A lot of us have been taught that we can't be anything less than perfect. So we cling to control, because we don't want anyone to know what we don't know.

And then we don't try. We don't take the one small step toward child-led speech therapy, because we can't do the whole thing perfectly yet.

I get into the pickleball invitation I turned down, the day I read a post about research and landed back in grad school shame, and what trying to be a perfect clinician cost me.

This one is as much for me as it is for you.

TIMESTAMPS

Part one 04:07 No script, no notes, and the podcast I was listening to in the car that started all of this 06:31 Perfectionism as a coping mechanism, and where imposter syndrome fits 08:56 The all or nothing mentality, and what it costs us as a field 11:18 The advice my grad school professor gave us right before our first practicums 15:59 The pickleball invitation, and why I won't do something I might be bad at 20:49 Thirteen years later: what trying to be a perfect clinician actually cost me

Part two (the recording picks back up here, four days later, after my kids came barging in) 02:27 The post about research, the shame that followed, and the kind of content creator I want to be 11:48 What I will and won't go back and learn, and why I'm okay drawing that line

CALL TO ACTION

If this one landed for you, would you leave a review wherever you listen? It would mean the world to me!

The Communication Bill of Rights Part 2: Working as a Team to Support Autistic Kids Sep 15, 2026

Show notes

We're back, friends! In this episode, Nicole Casey explores the Communication Bill of Rights, focusing on rights five through eight, and discusses how supporting autistic children requires team effort and consistent application across settings.

Keywords: Communication Rights, Autism Support, AAC, Inclusive Education, Neuroaffirming Practices

Takeaways:

Supporting rights five through eight often requires team effort and ongoing communication.
Consistent use of AAC devices across settings is crucial for participation.
Honoring a child's right to refuse or ask for things builds trust and safety.
Proactively communicating about routines and objects helps reduce dysregulation.
Supporting social interactions and relationships enhances quality of life.

58. Laundry Detergent, Toilet Paper, and The Most Authentic Form of Inclusion Jul 22, 2026

Show notes

GET YOUR FREE TICKET TO THE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT HERE!! HAPPENING AUGUST 10-13 ONLINE. 40+ NEUROAFFIRMING PRESENTERS, AUTISTIC ADULTS, AND AAC USERS. DON'T MISS IT!

Episode summary

A few years ago, Nicole worked with a little boy who loved the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables, and instead of treating those interests as rewards to earn, she let them lead the session. What started as sitting at the computer watching videos grew into expanded language, a homemade book, and one of the purest pictures of inclusion she has ever seen. This episode is about why deep interests are not a distraction from the work. They are the work.

Key topics with approximate timestamps

05:30 Why this episode is about using deep interests to build communication, not dangling them as a carrot.
06:00 Meet the child: a deep love of the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables.
07:47 We do not get to decide if a child's interest is cool enough or normal enough.
08:30 Working with a gestalt language processor, modeling language and following his lead at the computer.
10:07 The routine that kept growing, and why only offering a few adult-chosen options misses the magic.
11:30 Two years later: descriptive words, longer sentences, and a mom who celebrated every interest.
12:33 Why we do this for neurotypical kids (hello, monster truck era) but not always for autistic kids.
14:55 The first time he said "go down," and why we have been conditioned to call sessions like this lazy.
16:00 Printing pictures and making a simple book he could call his own.
18:00 The book becomes his bedtime story, read aloud to his brothers.
19:18 He carries the book to school and cannot wait to show his teacher.
20:00 The Target text: a video of him reading his book to his whole class.
21:30 The most real picture of inclusion, centering the autistic child, not our systems.
23:00 Stop overcomplicating it: let the interest lead, hold your boundaries, trust the process.
23:54 Deep interests at the Child-Led Autism Summit and how to join.

Resources and links mentioned

The Child-Led Autism Summit, a free virtual event for SLPs, OTs, teachers, and autism support professionals. Get on the wait list or register at childled.org.
YouTube and Google Images as tools for finding a child's preferred videos and pictures.
Blank story books (a dollar store find) for making a child-authored book.
The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective.

About Nicole

Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the voice behind The Child-Led SLP. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based habits to child-led, neuroaffirming practice through real-world frameworks, ready-to-use resources, and a community that gets it. She teaches from what she has learned in real sessions with real kids, and she believes connection is the prerequisite for progress, not something a child earns after they comply.

57. The Communication Bill of Rights (And Where We Get It Wrong): Part 1 Jul 14, 2026

Show notes

Save your spot for the FREE summit happening August 10-13 all online!

Most of us have referenced the Communication Bill of Rights, printed it out, maybe hung it on the office wall. But how many of us have actually sat with what each right means in real life? In part one of this series, Nicole reads all 12 rights and then goes deep on the first four, using real classroom stories to show where these rights get honored, and where they quietly get violated.

In this episode:

(00:03) What the Communication Bill of Rights is, and who publishes it (the NJC)

(02:06) Reading all 12 rights out loud, in full

(03:30) Right 1: Dignity and respect in all interactions, and why it comes first

(06:30) When adults call kids lazy, stubborn, or noncompliant in front of them

(09:48) The girl who kept falling asleep, and the chair that got taken away

(11:45) Right 2: Meaningful communication that is culturally and linguistically appropriate

(13:00) The AAC device that only spoke English in a family that did not

(17:00) The Halloween costume moment that taught Nicole a lasting lesson

(22:47) Right 3: Being addressed directly, not talked about as if not there

(24:00) A simple, professional way to shut down disrespect in the moment

(25:08) Right 4: Receiving a response to all communication, even when the answer is no

(26:00) "Matthew tomorrow," and why ignoring a child is never the goal

(29:59) Holding boundaries without dismissing or ignoring kids

(32:21) Why these rights should guide our decisions, not just decorate the wall

(33:00) The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free and virtual

Resources mentioned:

- NJC Communication Bill of Rights, third edition (search "NJC Communication Bill of Rights")

- National Joint Committee for the Communication Needs of Persons with Severe Disabilities

- The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free virtual event: childled.org

- The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

About Nicole:

Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the founder of The Child-Led SLP and The Child-Led Collective. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based practice to child-led, neuroaffirming care, with the frameworks, resources, and community to actually make it happen. She hosts the Let Them Lead podcast and runs the annual Child-Led Autism Summit.

56. Neuroaffirming Report Writing: Accurate Without the Shame Jul 07, 2026

Show notes

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR THE FREE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT HERE

A 19-year-old found the autism assessment report written about him at 15, and reading it made him feel like a stranger had published a list of everything wrong with him. That post sparked this honest conversation about how we write clinical documentation, who our reports actually serve, and how to be completely accurate without reducing a child to their deficits. Nicole shares a real AAC funding story, side-by-side sentence swaps, and practical ways to help families read reports as tools instead of verdicts.

In this episode:

(00:14) The Reddit post that started it all, and why listening to autistic adults matters

(02:26) How a report can make someone feel like a list of everything wrong with them

(08:00) Impact always trumps intent, and why this one brought up shame for Nicole too

(13:36) Who our reports are actually written for, the system versus the human

(15:00) The AAC funding story: a multimodal communicator who lit up on the device

(23:25) Walking the line between affirming language and building a case for insurance

(28:00) Accuracy is not the same as deficit framing, a side-by-side sentence example

(31:00) The neuroaffirming rewrite that says the same clinical thing, better

(33:30) Why so many of us default to deficit language (training, fear, efficiency)

(38:14) Concrete swaps you can use in your very next report

(43:04) The parent who said, for the first time someone understood my child

(45:00) Helping families read reports critically, as tools not verdicts

(50:00) What that 19-year-old deserved, and what our kids deserve

(52:35) The Child-Led Autism Summit, August 10 to 13, free and virtual

Resources mentioned:

- The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective

About Nicole:

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