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    Kids & Family

    Learn With Less

    If you’re looking for information about baby development, or looking for ideas about how to play with your baby to support development, Learn With Less (formerly Strength In Words) is where we discuss all things early parenthood and early childhood. We help families (expecting parents, new parents, and seasoned parents) navigate those early years in an inclusive, educational, and supportive space. Join Ayelet Marinovich, M.A., CCC-SLP, author, singer, imperfect mother of two and pediatric speech-language pathologist, for a podcast for parents, caregivers, and educators of infants and toddlers of all developmental levels. Learn With Less is the place for families to access high quality, evidence-based resources about how their infants and toddlers learn and develop; for regular sessions of music, play and developmental information for both you and your baby, subscribe on Apple Podcasts and visit https://learnwithless.com!

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    Latest Episodes:
    Supporting Parents With an Early Childhood Educator’s Knowledge, with Miranda Zoumbaris Dec 14, 2021
    Show notes

    Bringing Joy to Early Parenthood By Supporting The Parent-Child Dyad On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with early childhood educator, mother, parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and the face behind Early Intervention Mama, Miranda Zoumbaris. Miranda lives in Lansing, Michigan, has two young children, and is an incredible gift to her community. She’s bringing families together and fostering positive relationships and confidence for new parents and caregivers by leading caregiver & me classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum. Miranda is an early childhood educator and mother, who is a self described child development nerd. Miranda was inspired to grow and diversify the ways she could reach families in her community because she wanted to teach parents and caregivers new ways to experience joy with their babies and toddlers. To her, it’s always been a goal to take away worry, provide education, and infuse joy into everyday activities. Miranda’s joy is infectious, and she has now been spreading it both as an active participant in our Learn With Less® facilitator community of educators and therapists, as well as in her community in and around Lansing, Michigan, with families who are experiencing her “caregiver & me” classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Surprises and unexpected difficulties Miranda faced when she became a mother, even though she has been working with new parents and young children for yearsThe role empathy and self awareness plays in work with new familiesWhy Miranda decided to become a parent educator and start her own small business to serve new parents and caregivers in her communityThe value of learning and sharing experiences in community with others going through the same journeyWhy a collaborative approach to learning is so important (both in business and in parenting)How Miranda moved through imposter syndrome (hint: the power of flexibility and adaptation)The ways in which her work as a parent educator using the Learn With Less® curriculum has shifted aspects of her own parentingWhy Miranda ultimately decided to invest in herself and her business Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® Stories: Podcast episodes and other interviews from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Miranda: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Eventbrite Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Episode Ayelet: Before we get started today, I want to let you know that if you are an educator or therapist interested in expanding your impact by using your existing skills to serve families holistically to diversify your offerings, I’d love to invite you to join us at the upcoming event I’ll be hosting, the Expand Your Impact Retreat. This will be a live virtual event on Saturday, January 15th, 2022. If you’re listening when this episode comes out, I’m sweetening the deal even more by giving you access to early bird pricing on your ticket, saving you 40% off the ticket price, until the end of 2021. Want to learn more about this event and grab your ticket? Just head on over to learnwithless.com/expand and join us now! If you are a parent or caregiver interested in learning more about resources to help you feel confident you can support and connect with your tiny humans, we would love you to start by downloading my free infant/toddler development blueprint, over at learnwithless.com/blueprint, today! Today, I’m joined by Miranda Zoumbaris. Miranda is an early childhood educator and mother, who is a self described child development nerd. Miranda was inspired to grow and diversify the ways she could reach families in her community because she wanted to teach parents and caregivers new ways to experience joy with their babies and toddlers. To her, it’s always been a goal to take away worry, provide education, and infuse joy into everyday activities. Miranda’s joy is infectious, and she has now been spreading it both as an active participant in our Learn With Less® facilitator community of educators and therapists, as well as in her community in and around Lansing, Michigan, with families who are experiencing her “caregiver + child” classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum. I’m so thrilled to share this episode with you, today! Ayelet: Okay, today I have with me Miranda Zoumbaris. She’s an amazing early childhood educator, she is based around Lansing, Michigan, and she is a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator as well as being a mother and an incredible community member. Miranda, I’d love for you to just sort of introduce yourself, give us just a sense of who you are and how you came to be doing the things that you are doing today in the world. Miranda: Yeah, I’m Miranda and I’m a self prescribed child development nerd that since the longest time I can remember, I’ve always loved children. And when I started my professional journey, I thought for sure I was going to be a teacher and quickly realized that I wanted to work with parents and caregivers, and the most important people to children. And so that’s kind of been my whole career is figuring that out: I love children. But what I love most of all, is parent-child dyad, or caregiver-child dyad. And so I’ve done home visiting for early Head Start. I’ve been a early interventionist with it, our Michigan Part C services, and have just spent my whole career working with families in their homes and playgroups, supporting them being their cheerleader, and being their coach. I have a bachelor’s degree in child development and English, surprisingly, and just hadn’t found my niche of like, what do I want to do in terms of a master’s degree? And what I’ve kind of figured out is, that’s because I love the whole child, I love looking at the whole aspect of child development. And that’s really what I think drove me to this program is that you have created a way for us to embrace that family dyad, you know, parent-child dyad. And also look at the whole child, and see them as a whole person, which is my area of expertise, looking at that whole child, whole family dynamic, and serving parents that way. Ayelet: I love it. That’s great. It’s so wonderful to hear you describe what you do, because you do a lot for families, not only in Lansing, but also all over the world because you have an incredible Instagram following and really all over social media, but currently primarily on Instagram, you are Early Intervention Mama! Actually, can you tell us a little bit about when did you start that? And what made you decide to go ahead and do that? And like what was the impetus for that? Miranda: So Early Intervention Mama, it was something I had in my head after I had my first baby. So this was like way pre pandemic before there was a lot of people on Instagram, I think that I just had in my head like, oh my gosh, I knew parenting was going to be hard. Like I went into it, you know, I remember having a family tell me, oh my gosh, you’re going to be such a good mom because you know, so many things. And my response to her was, I may know a lot of things, but there is so much that I have no idea about, and I those are the parts I can’t wait for to get into parenting. And those words just kept hitting me in waves – and are still hitting me in waves. That there is a lot to learn about parenting, I’m assuming forever and beyond, you know, it just keeps coming in. So after having my first baby, I was like, Oh my gosh, I want to share the parts that are tough, and help families with that perspective of parenting has been challenging and hard for me. And there’s tough things to go through. And also I’ve got a background in child development and early intervention and helping families of littles who have delays and it’s all hard, and we can do it together, and we can do it simply. And so, in my head when I was putting together Early Intervention Mama, I saved the Instagram handle and I saved the Facebook page. And then about six months later I said to my husband who’s like my tech guru, hey, can you please save the website? You know? I’m not ready yet. But this is what I want to do. And yeah, then pandemic happened and I was postpartum with a baby, ready to head back from maternity leave as soon as the pandemic started, and really decided that I needed to amp up my game and Early Intervention Mama and yeah, here we are. Ayelet: That was after your second child was born. Yes. Yes. Amazing. There’s so much there. I love it. And I also love Miranda how overlapping our stories are and our “why’s” are as far as like why we each you know started doing this because I absolutely hear my own sense of self in your story as well as far as having some knowledge of early child development, having some knowledge of what parents and families go through in those early years and then getting to do it one’s own self. And having some things go as expected and having some things go remarkably, I guess off kilter or totally surprising. Would you feel comfortable sharing with us a few of the things for you that were on the surprising side, or the current you off guard as far as coming into early parenthood yourself? Miranda: Yeah. So my first one was such an incredibly tricky nurser. So I planned on breastfeeding and had in my head that like, this is what I wanted to do, it’s going to be super easy, watched my sister go through that. And it was so incredibly difficult that I just felt like this broken person, which is not anything that anybody should feel going into parenthood. And so that really just created a lot of stress for me of what I had maybe envisioned, you know, the things that I felt like, Oh, this is natural, this is going to be easy, you know, I’ve never judged anybody for how they feed their baby, I think everybody needs to do what is right for them. And this is what I thought was right for me and what was going to work for me. It just was so challenging that I think that just really put me on a perspective of you know, you have to be flexible in parenting. And right from the start, you know, learning how to see the baby who really struggled with something that I wanted, having to manage those really tough postpartum hormones – go right from there, and then learning as a parent, and not constantly evaluate my own child, you know, after having been in early intervention all the time, I remember being like, there is some structural tension going on here. And I need to, we need to do some stretches… and learning to ease from that mode of thinking to like, we’re gonna talk and sing and play, and I can do these things that I know are gonna help you track and move left to right, but it’s going to just be more fun for us. Ayelet: Yeah, that trust. Miranda: So getting to that joyful part of parenting, I think, took me – yes, yes, being able to, like let go of things. And like you said, trust, that I could do all these things for my baby, because of the relationship that we were building and how we were connecting. Ayelet: Yeah, hard, hard to do. Miranda: And then my second baby, we had a lot of stress. My dad, who has now since passed, was really sick. And we were heading into like the winter holidays. And just all the stress from that, I ended up delivering her early. And so it got to experience a NICU baby after having worked for many years with NICU babies. Here I am sitting in the hospital with one of my own and figuring out how to manage that amidst my own father going into the hospital, and ended up her first month of life was his last. And so just navigating parenting through grief, and how to be there for other people while you’re trying to become a mom of two, and all those challenges and worries that come with having a baby that was premature. I mean, she was 36 weeks, but we still had struggles, breathing issues, you know, had to go see some specialists for her to and just… a lot to navigate again, you know, it feeling like oh, I have one baby and I know what I’m doing. And then to have a second and feel like Gosh, this is really tough again. And I think the hard part of baby number two was that with my first one, I reached out to some amazing local groups and formed some incredible friendships, that classes and parent and me groups. And then with my second, I was just like suffering from grief and postpartum depression. And then when I was ready to form those relationships and head back to work, we had a pandemic, and are still in a pandemic! Ayelet: Oh gosh, to laugh about that! Miranda: I know, I know. Ayelet: Oh, Miranda oh my goodness, it’s I think what strikes me maybe… maybe most, about what you shared… number one, thank you for sharing all of that is… how much I think empathy plays a role in everything that you experienced and in your work with other families and personal relationships with other families in your community. I think so often we come into parenthood and when we do experience certain things going as expected it can be easy to assume, perhaps, that it goes like that for everyone. But when you do have the experience of things not going quite like you thought they would, things looking a little different – or even witnessing that in a good friend or a close family member, it can help us to develop empathy, right? On a personal level, not just when you’re working with families. I mean, it’s such a different experience when it is you and your personal life versus your professional life or your professional knowledge. I would love to hear just a little bit about how that informs your practice day to day with Early Intervention Mama, with the Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” style classes that you lead, and in all dimensions of how that… because you’ve actually shifted your own personal life and your professional life, very similar to the work that we both are doing, to meld into your passions and into something that is really becoming something that you can deliver both out of personal need and desire, and also to make a professional and social impact on your community. So I would love to hear just a little bit about the role of empathy in all of that for you, and how your experiences have informed that piece. Miranda: Yeah, so think in terms of leading into my own parenting journey, having had a lot of infant mental health training and support, like in my profession to have reflective supervision, and what that is, is really having somebody help you identify how what’s going on with a family is impacted by what…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    One Therapreneur’s Journey to Becoming a Parent Educator, with Rebecca Hernandez Nov 24, 2021
    Show notes

    How Rebecca Found the Will to Move Forward With Her Dreams, Despite Multiple Setbacks On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with pediatric occupational therapist, mother, parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and founder of Santosha Wellness, Rebecca Hernandez. Rebecca lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and has her own private pediatric occupational therapy clinic where she serves new families in multiple ways via developmental therapies, infant massage, and now, caregiver & me classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum, leading infant and toddler enrichment classes to provide resources and support to parents and caregivers. Rebecca’s practice is focused on sharing her love and passion for the needs and development of children through empowerment, advocacy, education, collaboration, and support. She believes that in order to help children, we must first take time to understand each child’s rich life background: developmental history, caregiver support structure, the cultural lens through which the child identifies, socioeconomic needs, and the child’s strengths and interests. These values on top of her robust skillset as not only an occupational therapist, but also a Feeding Therapist, infant development specialist, certified Infant Massage therapist, kids yoga teacher, and CrossFit trainer (for both kids and adults), make her an incredible asset to the Learn With Less® program as a facilitator of “caregiver & me” classes. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Rebecca’s biggest skepticism in joining the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, and what value it provided her even though she wasn’t new to parent education and providing family enrichment servicesWhy conversations about self-identity as a facilitator are valuable in responsibly and responsively serving families who hold various identitiesWhat helped her pushed ahead even when life felt overwhelmingWhy her plans include holding both virtual and in-person caregiver + child classes in her communityThe role of “facilitator” and how that affects one’s ability to lead a class for other families Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® podcast episode: Why Become a Parent Educator? Ask These Learn With Less® Facilitators! Learn With Less® podcast episode: Leading Caregiver & Baby Classes – From Therapist to Parent Educator, with Carly Dorfman Learn With Less® podcast episode: Enrich Your Practice as a Parent Educator, with Sara Moreno Learn With Less® podcast episode: Educating Parents to be Their Child’s First Teacher, with Rachel Kammeyer Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Impact Your Community With Parent Education and Parent Coaching Skills, with Laurel Smith Learn With Less® podcast episode: How Lesley Took Her Existing Skills as an Educator, and Started Serving Infant/Toddler Families In a Holistic, Meaningful Way Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Use Your Skills as an Educator or Therapist to Serve Families Holistically as a Parent Educator, with Allie Glazer Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Rebecca: Website / Instagram / Facebook Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Episode Ayelet: Before we get started today, I want to just let you know that we will be speaking a lot today about the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. If you are an educator or therapist interested in becoming a licensed Learn With Less® Facilitator and integrating “caregiver & me” classes into your offerings or practice, you are invited to apply now at learnwithless.com/certification. If you’re actually listening to this on or around the day this episode airs on in late November, 2021, I recommend you get your application in today, as we’ll be leading a live Goal Setting and 2022 Planning Workshop event on Friday the December 3rd, for our entire Learn With Less® facilitator community! Just head over to learnwithless.com/certification and submit your application today. If you are a parent or caregiver interested in learning more about resources to help you feel confident you can support and connect with your tiny humans, we would love you to start by downloading my free infant/toddler development blueprint, over at learnwithless.com/blueprint, today! Today, I’ve got Rebecca Hernandez with me. At the time of this recording about a month ago, Rebecca had just completed the Learn With Less® training program and was about to host her demo class, which is a right of passage within our facilitator certification program, and the last step toward certification. She’s now moved into our certified pool of facilitators, and is developing her plans to serve families using Learn With Less® in the new year, with both virtual and in-person “caregiver & child” classes in and around her community of Kalamazoo, Michigan. Rebecca had a heck of a year – the pandemic was tough on her business, she gave birth to a second child, and just had hurdle after hurdle thrown at her… but what I love about her story is that it’s one of resilience. Rebecca is committed to serving her community. She’s not a beginner to, as she puts it, being a “therapreneur” (just to be perfectly clear, that’s a therapist who’s also become an entrepreneur or small business owner). But she’d invested in the Learn With Less® program when all of that went down. Now, “life” nearly took over and ravaged that dream of leading family enrichment classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum. But Rebecca charged on, at her pace. Sometimes she completed a few minutes of the training, sometimes weeks would go by before she was able to get childcare and commit the brainpower to sitting and moving toward her dream. But she did it. And I can’t wait to share the power of what she’s gotten back from that, in her own words, with you here, today. Let’s get to it! Hi, it’s very nice to see you! Rebecca: Nice to see you, too. What a, what a time it’s been since that last zoom call. I think the last zoom call I was on was in my office like pre was at pandemic but like early on. Ayelet: Yeah. Yeah. I’m so glad you are here, like, in the program, where you are and ready to… ready to demo and move forward. Rebecca: So excited. And I have it’s it’s kind of perfect timing in a sense for the demo class because all of kind of my mom group of friends and just group of friends in general, we all just had babies this past spring and summer, and so it’s going to be so nice. My sister in law is going to come my backyard and everyone’s craving that community. And I was like, I can create that. And this is so Ayelet: That’s it! How old is your daughter now? Rebecca: Five months. Ayelet: Oh my gosh. Rebecca: And so I think she’s teething. And she’s just feisty. She was born on the full moon and just the opposite of my son who was just very mellow in general. And I’ve also forgotten that baby is, you know, your brain protects you and for you to have more children. And so like she only put her to bed at eight last night. And then at 11 she woke up. And I was just like, having to bouncer in the carrier holding her like standing until two. It’s all temporary, but I’m in it. In the thick of it! Ayelet: In the thick of it. I mean, I think for me, the best part of having the second child was just being like, Okay, remember, this is just a season of my life. Remember, this doesn’t last for 18 years. Remember, things will shift everything shifts, and just knowing because it might not look the same as it did with the first one because they’re totally different humans, but that first time around and you’re like, Oh my god. This is my life. Right? It’s okay. Rebecca: I have that, it is so true. And I have thought that so many times, at least like this time, I know, like, Oh, this is just temporary. And all of a sudden I’ll realize, Oh, she’s sleeping. And it also goes by so fast. And now that I have that like actual experience of it going by so fast. Like I can be tired. And no, this is not gonna be my always. Oh my gosh, totally. Yeah. So I’m just looking at myself in the video like, Oh, man… Ayelet: You look great, amazing. Well, let’s just chat a little bit you had written that first of all, you said, What was your biggest skepticism upon joining like that it might not be necessary that you’ve taught, you know, classes like these in the past, that you have the skills and you weren’t sure if you need to add training to that professional area. But you’ve learned a lot and the cohesiveness of this program and then the support. I’d love to hear to just in your own words, like when you were first drawn to the program, like what did you see specifically that led you to think that still would be useful? Rebecca: Yeah. It’s interesting, because there’s like a large part of me, and I don’t know if this is just like an entrepreneurial therapist thing in general. But I tend to like go a little crazy with courses. And I’m like, yes, yes, yes. Right. Yes. Certification. Sure. This one, this one… Ayelet: Right. This is part of what we talked about in the like, imposter syndrome area, right? Rebecca: Exactly. Yes. And so then I’ve tried to read more recently be a little bit more selective, and, Okay, do I really need this? And so that’s where I was sort of at with like, okay, is this you know, is this another class, but I was really drawn to, like, the philosophy of it, of the Learn With Less®, like, you’ve really don’t need anything. And that’s just something that I’ve said so often had so many conversations with. So that was a huge. And then just listening to your podcast, seeing your marketing, like and your, your website all looked so great. And so I felt like I could also just tell like, there’s more to this than just like someone who just randomly decided, like, I could teach a class, you know, not to say like, other courses I’ve done haven’t been beneficial, but like, there just seemed to be a depth to it. And I was like, I think I could get a lot out of this. And then after our conversation was like, Yes, this is totally what I need to just kind of deepen. So the philosophy is what sort of drew me in to think, oh, this could be something that may be beneficial, even though I’ve already done some of these classes. And it just you could just tell it was… you really had it really organized and I was like, I’m gonna get the support. There’ll be curriculum support and for me, like all of that stuff. And I was like, that’s the stuff I need to learn and get more of. So… Ayelet: What at the time I’m curious also, like, what were some of the areas that you still felt were a challenge for you, particularly, when you were looking at joining Learn With Less®? What were those pieces that you still felt like, Oh, I could use some support specifically in these like around this or that? Rebecca: Yeah. I mean, I think the business side of it, I think like the vision of my classes, like I had this idea, like yes, I see There’s benefit in bringing families together. But I felt myself sort of like not feeling organized and really knowing how to make it a program. So like, you know, I could lead a class and have content but was I really having something that was cohesive, that flowed week to week or what I really know what… because excitement is one thing, and I’m good at that. Yeah, but translating it into, you know, an actual class. And that’s something that has really solid content so that I can then can market it. I think that’s where I was felt like I was really lacking, it was like, I don’t really know what I should put into this class. Because I had, I would sometimes I remember thinking, like, I had a little whiteboard that I’d write out like kind of what we’re doing in class, almost like 10 things like I am, this is too much! And then I felt stressed that people were talking, and I really wanna get my thing… But I feel like families really need to, they want all of the stuff… I know that really what they want us community. So, I think I was looking for something that would give me this ongoing support, vision, and you have done the work to create this program that is like, Yes, this is what I want. And it’s already here. So why try and reinvent the wheel. Ayelet: Good! That’s awesome – good to hear! You had said, as far as the overall content of the program, you said you love the content overall, it was especially focused on the business side of things, and you learned a lot even after having run classes through your business for you know, going on for years. But for instance, with module four, and we talked through the culturally responsive delivery of services… Rebecca: I loved that. Yeah, it’s so nice sometimes to be in your like little bubble of like, this is all important to everybody. Right? Then outside, you pop that bubble, which is also important to do. And then you realize, oh, my God… I’ve had so many conversations, one of my really good friends is a social worker with our Early On team in the county. And she’s like, I have tried to have so many conversations around diversity, inclusion and equity in talking about how we are a group of all privileged white women (in that particular group) and what does that mean for the families that we’re serving? And let’s have conversations, and people are like, “Oh, no, it’s not important. We’re, it’s fine.” And she’s like, we can’t even talk about it? I mean, come on! Well, and I will say, it’s one of the most profoundly, it’s just an amazing part of the program that you give, and it makes it so much different than others. That’s what starts to create this access to families is having these hard conversations, when we’re training, in the people that are going to are going to be mobilizing these, you know, these types of groups. And I just loved that that was so… I mean, that was woven into, somehow, every single conversation in the training, and I thought that was just so amazing. So it made me think, and I felt like it kept it at the forefront of, this is why we’re doing this. This is this is a huge part of why this program exists. And yes, we’re supporting kids and families. And this is a huge need. And I so I thought that was… and it’s a hard thing to do. So I love that. Ayelet: Yeah. Awesome. I’m happy to hear that. All right, you had said that this is a very well organized, well thought out deep and supportive program. Not that I had a poor reception by any means beforehand, but it’s certainly more evident, now. I mean, you’ve been expanding on that the whole conversation, but I’d love to hear more about… it sounds like it was, in the beginning you were hoping for that. And t…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Why Become A Parent Educator? Ask These Learn With Less® Facilitators Nov 01, 2021
    Show notes

    How these speech-language pathologists shifted their focus to parent education In today’s episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, we’re doing something a little bit different. We’re actually going to share with you the replay of a private event we held recently for accepted applicants of the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training and Certification Program, wherein we brought in a few of our current clients who are licensed, Learn With Less® facilitators, and had them answer your questions. We covered: Why they initially joined the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification ProgramWhat benefits they found to utilizing an existing framework that would show them how to lead high quality caregiver & me* classes instead of creating their own (*we use this inclusive term as a substitution for “mommy & me” classes as we serve and welcome parents, caregivers, non-binary folks, foster parents, grandparents, babysitters, etc.) Big shifts each of them have made in their lives and businesses as a result of joining the Learn With Less® parent educator program and becoming Learn With Less® facilitatorsHow some of them have found confidence to become parent educators, even if they aren’t parents themselvesSome of the unexpected or unanticipated wins they’ve made as a result of joining the Learn With Less® programHow much time it took each of them to complete the training program, and how much time they dedicate continuously to leading Learn With Less® classes Whether or not you have applied yet for the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, I know that you will learn so much about not only our program, but about the incredible and generous and supportive individuals that are part of it. In this episode, we feature several amazing professionals, they all actually happen to be speech language pathologists, however, we do have many different types of professionals who are involved in our program, including SLPs, we have occupational therapists and physical therapists, early childhood educators and social workers, para educators and instructional assistants, and other people who are pursuing different kinds of endeavors in the educational or therapy world. So go ahead, if you are interested in learning more about our program, you can head over to our website at learnwithless.com/certification – We’d love to share more with you! You can apply today, and when you do, we will be gifting you a private training that is all about how you can create lasting impact in your community with a high quality and evidence based plug-and-play program that will have families coming back again and again. So, cannot wait to hear from you. And I really look forward to sharing this episode with you. Okay, here you go! Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® podcast episode: Leading Caregiver & Baby Classes – From Therapist to Parent Educator, with Carly Dorfman Learn With Less® podcast episode: Enrich Your Practice as a Parent Educator, with Sara Moreno Learn With Less® podcast episode: Educating Parents to be Their Child’s First Teacher, with Rachel Kammeyer Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Impact Your Community With Parent Education and Parent Coaching Skills, with Laurel Smith Learn With Less® podcast episode: How Lesley Took Her Existing Skills as an Educator, and Started Serving Infant/Toddler Families In a Holistic, Meaningful Way Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Use Your Skills as an Educator or Therapist to Serve Families Holistically as a Parent Educator, with Allie Glazer Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Allie: Website / Instagram / Facebook Ronesha: Website / Instagram / Facebook Melanie: Website Carly: Website / Instagram / Facebook Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of the Episode Ayelet: Welcome, everyone. I want to go ahead and introduce to you well, I’ll actually have you all introduce yourselves. I don’t need to do it for you. So I’m Ayelet, I am the founder of Learn With Less®, and I am the creator of this program. We’re so happy that you all are joining us today we have Ronesha, we have Allie, we have Carly, we may have one or two more who knows can pop in today. But, looking forward to chatting with you all and anybody else who joins us live. I’ll just go in the order of my screen. So Ronesha, you’re right next to me. Would you like to go ahead and just let us know you know who you are, where you’re located your professional or educational background what you do, and your pronouns! Ronesha: Sure. I am Ronesha Roberson, she and her, and I am located in Tampa, Florida. I am a speech language pathologist, and a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. Ayelet: Awesome, Carly, you want to go? Carly: Sure. My name is Carly Dorfman. She/her, I am in Parkland Florida. I am also a speech language pathologist, Learn With Less® facilitator, and I am a mom to two little ones. Ayelet: Awesome. All right, two Floridians. Awesome. Okay, Allie, go for it. Allie: I am Allie Glazer, my pronouns are she/her/hers. I am also an SLP. I am in the Bay Area of California, I have my own private practice. I’m also an employee, a couple places and a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. No kids of my own, just cats, you might seem running around behind it, though. Ayelet: Yes, supervisors, perfect. So two, very funny that we’re all SLPs who are here. But we also obviously in the program have many occupational therapists, early childhood educators, we have social workers, we have physical therapists, so lots of different kinds of backgrounds from people who have a lot of, you know, it’s really nice to have that diversity in thought and diversity in background as well, because we can all pull from our own information and our own understanding of the world and of early childhood. So I would love to hear from each of you. What were those initial reasons why you join the Learn With Less® program? Does anyone have any specific things that they are ready to share? Should I pick you out? Allie: I can go first, I think my I had like three trifold interests, I wanted to diversify my income a little bit and kind of add an addition to the direct therapy that I was doing for my employer. I wanted to get more into the enrichment world because I had so many families who I was working with in a therapy level, but who are also reaching out to me, like what should I be doing with my baby? What should I be doing with my toddler, what kind of things are just enrichment-based… and I had to, I was wanting to work hard to like take off the therapy hat and put on the professional hat. And also I was just looking for a community to help kind of expand my own private practice in terms of how I was developing my social media presence, creating a website. Prior to Learn With Less®, I had like no social media presence whatsoever, and it’s still something I’m working on but I think those were the three big things, is just wanting something a little bit different out of my career that I wanted to kind of create and make for myself. Ayelet: That’s awesome. And I will also say like creating that website and social media presence is always a work in progress. It’s one of those fun things that you get to just play with, if that’s the direction that you decide to go in. So yay. I see Melanie has joined us. Welcome, Melanie, when you are ready, we will be ready to for you to introduce yourself as well. Anybody else, Carly or Ronesha? Do either of you want to share a little bit about you know, those initial reasons about why you joined the program? Ronesha, I’d love to hear from you. Ronesha: Okay, sure. So I think the first, like foremost reason why I was drawn to it was like, the name, Learn With Less®, at the time, I was a mom, I think he was like, one or two. And he was my second, and it was just like, am I even doing like all the things that I could be doing for my child, you know, for the two of my child’s mother, I was two years older than that. So I was like, in the throes of like, you know, Ayelet: Oh yeah, early motherhood. Ronesha: Exactly. So I was intrigued by that. And then I also knew that I wanted to eventually start my own private practice. And I also knew that I wanted to work with parents of young children. And so I was just like, if I was a parent of young children, I wanted to diversify my income, like Allie said, and also, I wanted to work with children, parents of young children, so it just kind of like, fit. And then as I was reading more about it, I was like, Oh, this is great, because parents need to, like, I feel like need that encouragement that they have everything that they need to succeed and to help their baby. So it really spoke to me that way. Ayelet: Awesome. Melanie, welcome. Thank you for joining us on the go. It’s great. Do you want to go ahead and quickly introduce yourself? And then so we’re just sharing you know, where you are in the world, your professional or educational background, your pronouns? Melanie: First of all, I’m Melanie, my pronouns are she/her, and right now in the world, in my car, and in the Bay Area in California, and I’m a speech language pathologist. Ayelet: Too funny that that’s how we have we have like two on the West Coast and two on the east coast, the same state and area. And all SLPs today, but you know, again, we have lots of different kinds of people. This is just the the way the cookie crumbles today, and then Melanie, if you wouldn’t mind sharing to about, you know, what were some of the initial reasons for you why you joined the Learn With Less® program? Melanie: I had a similar idea as you, Ayelet, and that’s why I was like, man, back before I even heard about this, I was thinking, man, is there a way I could do like a late talkers program that children who don’t necessarily have a diagnosis or they’re concerned, but we still could help a little bit and use everything around the house, and then your program came along! Actually, it was Allie who mentioned it, or put it on her Facebook, and then told me more about it, and then I hopped on board. And it was just, it’s basically everything I was thinking about. And I love it, I you know, yeah, just passed the certification. And even though I had it run much beyond the demo class, it’s a lot of the skills and the mindset behind it and the modules have really shaped a lot of my behaviors and practices as a clinician right now. Ayelet: That’s awesome. I want to talk more about that in a second, too. But I want to get Carly in to chat about her own initial reasons of why you, you joined also. Carly: Yeah, so for me, it’s like a little bit of what everyone has already mentioned. Like Melanie mentioned, I sort of had this idea in my head, too, of caregiver education classes, but didn’t know how to organize my thoughts around presenting the information. I wanted to diversify my income, I knew I wanted to have my own private practice in the future, and the philosophy behind Learn With Less® in that you can use what you already have at home to support your child and their development. All of those reasons just led me to you and are why I joined the program. Ayelet: That’s great. Well, I like what you said too, about how I mean, both you, Carly and Melanie, who both just said, like you you already had this idea. So I mean, but you decided not to do that idea yourself. But instead invest yourself your time, your energy, your financial investment into something that already existed. I mean, is it worth talking about the benefits of that? Melanie: Oh, yeah, especially, I think, I guess we’re all a room of our we solopreneurs in here all of us. I think so. Ayelet: Yeah. Everybody here currently. Melanie: Yeah. So it’s just, you learn that you can’t do it all! And I am now learning that, as well. This being my. I would say like 2017, almost five years into a private practice, where now I have no choice but eventually become full time. But you just can’t. And so time is money and money is time. So I saw it as, Okay, rather than spending extra time I have to create a program have my own, why not explore some other option that is already established that already has the system going. And also has added benefits to it. Like, I’m pretty self motivated as a person. But there are just some things that I need that push from, and what I’m grateful for the community is that that little extra push and that camaraderie of everyone going through the same process, or same process different stages, it’s just, it’s been really wonderful to have that community to lie back on and also grab ideas – and be motivated to, like, go beyond a certain hump. Because at one point as solopreneurs, like, we’re just tired, we get burned out, we have only so much energy to give and that just seeing little posts of Allie you having your little post in the local newspaper, and then Lindsay getting her site set up. And then I believe it’s another, I think Miranda, another person, who just did a whole bunch of establishing for her business while dealing with personal things. So just little moments like that have really been helpful. Ayelet: Mm hmm. Yeah, hearing from others and being able to cheer each other on, for sure. I mean, that’s like a nice added sort of unanticipated additional piece, right. And then let’s just talk through like some of you, like you, Melanie said that you have been a lot of private practice work for the last five years, but you also work a job in the schools, correct? And then Carly has recently left her full time job and started her own private practice where she sees private speech therapy clients, as well, as leads Learn WIth Less® classes. Allie, you’ve been doing, as you said, private practice for a few years now. And you were primarily word of mouth, I think you still are, but you’re building that very much. And now you also have additional offerings. And then Ronesha, you are in the schools? And what else is going on for you? Ronesha: And seeing private clients as well. Ayelet: Awesome. That’s very cool. Let’s hear a little bit because some of you have, again, like had been doing private work, doing solopreneur kind of work on your own before, and some of you hadn’t. So I know that that’s one of the big shifts like for Carly, for instance. And I know you can speak to that. But what are some of those in general big shifts for you that have happened in your life, in your business, or in say, the goals that you have for your life and business, as a result of being part of this program? And Carly, since I mentioned you, go ahead and go first. Carly: Sure. So I discovered the program about a year ago. And at that time, I had this vision of one day, I’m going to have my own private practice. And one day, I’m going to be leading these classes multiple days a week. And that’s what I want to be doing with my time. But when I signed up for the program, I wasn’t quite there yet. So I went through the modules, I did the training, I did my demo class. And then I just sort of sat with it all for a few months, until, you know, I felt the stars aligned, and the time was right where I could… now, where I am today is living the dream that I saw for myself many years ago when I decided to b…

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    Leading Caregiver & Baby Classes: From Therapist to Parent Educator, with Carly Dorfman Oct 11, 2021
    Show notes

    How Carly Gained the Confidence to Find Balance and Transition into Private Practice In this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with pediatric speech-language pathologist, parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, mother, and founder of Kidnection LLC, Carly Dorfman. Carly is based in Parkland, Florida, and serves families in her private practice both within therapy, as well as in the community with family enrichment classes for infant and toddler families, in a “caregiver & me” setting. Her experiences as a speech-language pathologist (and a mom!) makes her an incredible resources for parents and caregivers in her community searching for high-quality, evidence based resources to help them connect with their babies and toddlers, and support early learning and development. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Carly’s educational and professional background, and how she came to do the work she’s doing todayHow and why she made the transition from steady, full time work as a speech-language pathologist to business owner in her own private practiceThe various “hats” she wears (speech-language pathologist, parent educator, mom, etc) and why all these roles actually create MORE balance in her lifeWhat COVID had to do with the shifts Carly has made in her lifeHow she gained confidence in herself to move forward with her big dream of running community-based classes for families and becoming a go-to early intervention resource in her community for new parents and caregiversWhy leading Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes speaks to her soul and reinforces the work she was already doing as a therapist, allowing her to create additional impact on families and on her own bottom line Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® podcast episode: Enrich Your Practice as a Parent Educator, with Sara Moreno Learn With Less® podcast episode: Educating Parents to be Their Child’s First Teacher, with Rachel Kammeyer Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Impact Your Community With Parent Education and Parent Coaching Skills, with Laurel Smith Learn With Less® podcast episode: How Lesley Took Her Existing Skills as an Educator, and Started Serving Infant/Toddler Families In a Holistic, Meaningful Way Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Use Your Skills as an Educator or Therapist to Serve Families Holistically as a Parent Educator, with Allie Glazer Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Carly: Website / Instagram / Facebook Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of the Episode Ayelet: Before we get started today, I want to just let you know that we will be speaking a lot today about the Learn With Less® facilitator training & certification program. If you are an educator or therapist interested in becoming a licensed learn with less facilitator and integrating “caregiver & me” classes into your offerings or practice, you are invited to apply now at learnwithless.com/certification. If you’re actually listening to this on or around the day this episode airs on October 11, 2021, I recommend you get your application in today, as we’ll be leading a live Q&A roundtable event this Friday the 15th, for accepted applicants! Just head over to learnwithless.com/certification and submit your application today. If you are a parent or caregiver interested in learning more about resources to help you feel confident you can support and connect with your tiny humans, we would love you to start by downloading my free infant/toddler development blueprint, over at learnwithless.com/blueprint, today! Ayelet: Welcome, Carly – Welcome to the Learn With Less® podcast! I’m so happy to speak to you today and have you here to chat about all things Learn With Less®. You have been a big part of the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training and Certification Program over the last year, almost a year. It’s been almost a year since you joined. And you have… you have made some serious progress, you have made some changes in your life since joining us in the program and deciding that you wanted to start leading Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and all different kinds of things. So I’d love to chat with you all about that today, and I’m just very happy that you’re here! Carly: I’m so happy I’m here! I told Ayelet I’ve been waiting for my turn to do the podcast. I know there’s a few other facilitators who have done it, previously. And I’m so excited that I’m at this point where I’ve taken the course, I’ve led the classes, and now I’m here to talk about it. Ayelet: Yeah, well, and it has been a real evolution for you, both just logistically and as well as, like, mindset stuff. So I’m very happy to have you here, in this space. And I have grown to really love to feature all of you because Learn With Less® has really, as you know, it started with me doing all of these things. But now I get to pass the baton and that is extremely gratifying – and is work that I absolutely love and could never have even foreseen how much I would love doing this. And to see you where you are today and moving forward every day is pretty phenomenal. So let’s get into it! Carly, will you tell us a little bit about you, where you are in the world, your pronouns, a bit about your professional background, and how you got into sort of doing the work that you’re doing these days? Carly: Sure! So, I am Carly, she/her, I live in Parkland, Florida, and I am a speech-language pathologist by trade, and I’m a mom of two kids. I have a four year old daughter and a two year old son, and I am also a parent educator. So I’ve been working as an SLP for almost 10 years. And throughout my career. I’ve worked in lots of different settings. I started out in private practice, moved into the schools did a little stint with adults went back into a private practice and just recently started my own business. So… Ayelet: Chills, yes! Carly: Yeah, it’s it’s a lot – it’s a lot to say! Just saying it out loud is like, wow, what have I done?! And so, I’ve always had a passion for working with children. Even prior to my career as a speech pathologist. I was a camp counselor and babysitter, I was a nanny when I was in grad school. So, working with kids was always a part of my life. And what I realized when I started working as a speech therapist with children is that every child comes with an adult, there’s always a caregiver involved. And when, you know, I’m doing my work with the child, there’s always a conversation to be had with those adults about what I’m working on with the kid, the progress the child’s making, answering all the questions that they have. And so as much as I wanted to stay away from working with adults, professionally as a speech therapist, I realized that in working with kids, you’re also in a way working with adults as well, for sure. Yeah. So you know, that’s sort of what drew me to more of the parent educator, part of my “hat.” You know, we all wear many hats. One of those is parent educator. And where I lived for a long time was just being a parent educator about what I was doing as a speech therapist, and then more things came. Ayelet: Tell us about those things, Carly? Carly: Oh, I would say like I said, it was about a year ago when I discovered Learn With Less®, but this idea of parent education and classes and wanting to teach and share information really stemmed out of COVID which for a lot of people out there, you know, COVID had hidden blessings in it – although it’s a terrible, you know, situation for many people. It’s just… sparked some ideas in my head. So I was actually talking with one of my best friends who lives in Canada. And she said to me, you know, like, we’re both home with our kids, right? Going kind of crazy in COVID land. And when we were in lockdown, that’s what I’m referring to. Yeah, yeah. This idea was planted where she said to me, oh, there’s this speech therapist in Toronto, and she does “mommy and me,” and maybe you could do that! And she, at the time during COVID, was leading… She was working in the entertainment industry doing like parties and events, and she decided, oh, I’m going to do “mommy and me” workout classes. So she was like, Oh, you can do something like that, speech therapy. And I was like, okay… so the seed was planted, I would like write random notes on random napkins and sheets of paper. And I was just disorganized about it all. And then I think it must have been just a Google search that led me to you, like, speech therapy, mommy and me, how to… I was at a loss, like, I’m the type B SLP. Like, I mess with my organization and my thoughts. You know, they’re all in here. But getting them out is always been a challenge for me. Ayelet: There’s a lot of us in the program, actually. Carly: Yeah! But… when I found your program, and I watched the video, there was a training. I said to my husband, I think it was late at night too. I was watching it in bed. And I, like, woke my husband up and I was like, she’s talking to me!!! She’s speaking to my soul. I have to know more. And I was just it was like, this is, this is it. This is what I’ve been looking for! Something that just takes everything that’s been in my head and organizes it in a way that I can make sense, I can learn, because the – the training modules, there was a lot in there that I didn’t know, that I needed to know, you know, prior to leading the classes, even things about how to collect payments, and you know, what to charge and how to get the word out all of that stuff. I had no idea! So, I found your program, we had so many amazing conversations, I think I cried… Ayelet: I will not confirm or deny. Carly: And once I signed up for the program and started listening to the modules and taking my notes and just learning from you and having conversations with you, I was like, this I have to, like this was like my calling almost, I have to do this! And in my community as well. There’s there’s so many young families where I live and no programming, none! And everyone, everyone, a lot of people that I know go into the neighboring communities for classes for their children and for services for their children. So I was like, yeah, we need this here. Ayelet: Tell tell us more about the community. Is it is it small, it’s not rural. Is it suburban? Is it close to a large city, like what’s what’s the deal? Carly: So, Parkland is, it’s very residential. Not a lot of businesses within Parkland or like shopping centers or anything like that. It’s mostly residential. I don’t know the population size, but it’s pretty average. It’s not small. It’s not big, very suburbia. And so the next biggest city, I would say is Boca Raton, Florida is nearby. Fort Lauderdale, Florida is not too far. So Miami is about 45 minutes to an hour from where I live. So we’re kind of, we’re like in this little northwest pocket of South Florida. And if you go any more West, you’re in the Everglades. So we’re, so it’s a pretty new city, they’re doing a lot of new construction in the area. So lots of new families coming in. And it’s a very tight knit community. I don’t know if you remember this a few years ago, there was a shooting at our high school. So since that happened, you know, the community just got together and we’re very close, very tight. There’s kind of like one of everything. There’s just one, you know, one grocery store, there’s one gas station, you know, one or two restaurants one ice cream shop. Ayelet: And one “caregiver and me” parent educator speech therapist, now! Carly: Yeah, exactly. So I am that. And I am so happy to be bringing that to my community. And you know, so far the feedback has been amazing. And I’m so grateful that I found the program when I did and I’m offering the classes now when I’m offering them and that it’s all, it’s all happening. Ayelet: Well, I mean, you made it happen, number one, but I want to go back for just a second and ask you a little bit about, yes, there’s the fact that the Learn With Less® program puts it all into this clear, step by step, plug and play sort of ready made business in a box type idea, but I’m sure there was something also about the actual philosophy of the curriculum that resonated with you, too, and I would love to hear a little bit about what that was for you, and why you also like whether you could imagine that that was something that your community would resonate with. So tell us about that. Carly: It mostly resonated with me on a personal level, as a mother and a caregiver to my two children, the philosophy of learning with less that you don’t need a single toy, and that you are your child’s best educator. And that, you know, you can use whatever you have at home to create these beautiful opportunities for growth and development of your child… is what drew me to the program the most. I have a ton of toys sitting over there, in a bucket, taking over my living room – an exploding bucket taking over my living room, and my kids are more interested in what’s going on in the kitchen and what I’m doing. You know, they want to copy me and take all of my stuff and do what I’m doing and pretend to be mommy and you know, all of that. So I totally related to that aspect of the program. And in my own speech therapy practice, I use a lot of this same philosophy that we can create your communication opportunities, and I can support your child’s language and development through the routines that are already happening in your daily life. We don’t need the special tools and bag of tricks, like what’s real for you what’s really happening and create opportunities there and around that. Ayelet: Beautiful, I love that. Okay, so there was the actual programmatic function of getting yourself through from where you were to this other side of having this, you know, way to holistically serve families and create more of like a parent education presence in your community. And also there was a philosophy resonance as well, that you felt, like Learn With Less® was clearly something that you were already utilizing in theory, and this was bring it all together. So tell us, what did life look like when you started the program? I mean, I remember you, Carly, actually, number one, you you have two small children, as you said, and you were in a full time job, and you actually were the first person to complete the entire training program in six weeks. And then not only that, but then also get your demo done and host a class. And then very quickly after host a whole series of paid classes, because you went through this program, you got it done, you did the demo, you then were able to like fill a whole class series of…

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    Why Sing with Infants and Toddlers? Sep 29, 2021
    Show notes

    Developmental Benefits of Using Music With Babies This week, I’m bringing back the very first episode of the Learn With Less® podcast. We’ve been going strong for 5 and a half years now, and whether you’re brand new to Learn With Less or you’ve been in our community for a while, I want to bring this information to the forefront of your mind again. It’s so exciting to revisit content I created years ago, both because the heart of that content is still so very relevant today (which is of course why I’m sharing it with you again), and also because it helps me see how far I’ve come as a content creator, a parent educator, a business owner, and a human! I remember sitting down to record this episode originally, after having led my “caregiver & me” classes for several years, and thinking that it was time to experiment with form. You’ll see that in these early episodes, the podcast was really very much an extension of our classes. These days, I refer to the topic in today’s episode as related to third pillar of Learn With Less®, which is SING. If you don’t know yet, we have 4 pillars, which are play, talk, sing, and move! I’ll step aside for the actual episode in just a moment, but I do want to encourage you to explore all the resources on our website, which is now learnwithless.com. If you’re curious about our Learn With Less® “caregiver and me” classes, you are invited to head to learnwithless.com/democlass where you can sign up to watch a short pre-recorded version of that experience! I can’t wait to hear what you think. ** The information, songs, and ideas listed herein are protected by copyright. To license the materials used in the Learn With Less® curriculum, please apply here! ** Helpful Resources Related To This Episode Attend a free, pre-recorded snippet of a Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” class Download our free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint, outlining major areas of learning and development in the first three years of life, and how you can support them using our four pillars of play, talk, sing, & move Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Includes our bestselling books, our family music album, a full Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” class, and a caregiver handout outlining everything we covered so you can do it again and again at home! Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Original version of the first Learn With Less® podcast episode, Why Sing? How to make a homemade rain stick, our corresponding blog post Text Transcript of this Episode Hi, I’m Ayelet Marinovich, your host of the [Learn With Less®] podcast! This is the very first episode of[Learn With Less®], a family enrichment program for caregivers and infants. Each week, we get together to sing a few songs, discuss some ideas for play, and outline some insight about infant and toddler development. The idea is this: whether you’re a parent or caregiver, working a job, caregiving full-time, whether your baby is following a typical progression of development or not, this is time for you to be together and to feel like you’re doing something good for and with your baby. Please do follow your baby’s lead. If you can get through the entirety of the episode while sitting in one place together, that’s great! If not, keep it on in the background for as long as it’s entertaining, and you may find yourselves coming back to it. But please don’t force your child to sit through something that’s not being enjoyed – we’re trying to promote shared interactive experiences! You can always come back another time or another week! I am a speech-language pathologist and I specialize in work with very young children, but this is not to be confused with “speech therapy.” This is, what I call, “family enrichment!” For more information, links to further reading, and to learn more about me, please visit my website. Let’s start by using our bodies, tapping to the beat. As you become familiar with the songs, sing along and please sing them without me throughout your week! Don’t worry if you don’t consider yourself musical, or if rhythm doesn’t feel like it comes “naturally” to you – this is about the time you spend with your baby, doing something together! We’ll talk more about why it’s so beneficial later in the episode and in weeks to come. Hello everybody, hello everybody, it’s nice to see you here today Hello everybody, hello everybody, it’s nice to see you here We can start by saying hello to the people who are with us. Hello to Ayelet, hello to the singers, hello, hello, hello, hello Hello to the baby, hello to the grown-ups, hello, hello, hello Since I don’t know your name, I’ll help you sing the song and you can fill it in! Ready? Let’s practice once first. Hello to (your baby’s name), hello to (your name), hello, hello, hello, hello Hello everybody, hello everybody, hello, hello, hello Ok, we’ll try it again, without me prompting you! Hello to _____, hello to ______, hello, hello, hello, hello Hello everybody, hello, everybody, hello, hello, hello! Great job! That’s our “hello song,” and we’ll start with some version of it each time. This is a nice way to introduce the idea of “ritual” to your baby. I think we tend to get pretty caught up with the idea of babies becoming accustomed to routines, but I like to think of rituals as special things we can do within our families. More on that another time, though. So, I’m going to be using a mix of “real” instruments, and things you can likely find in your home or can easily create out of items in your home. I will be starting a section of “DIY’s” on my website, and a Pinterest board for even more ideas. This is a “rain stick” I made out of an empty round spice jar and and some dry rice. The lid stays on (with an additional layer of baby-proofing duct tape for peace of mind), but can be pushed or manipulated by baby quite easily. Rain, rain, go away, Come again another day Little Johnny wants to play, so rain, rain, go away. If you already have a little Johnny at home, how lucky that this song is already personalized for you! If not, let’s take the necessary steps to do that! Rain, rain, go away, come again another day My sweet baby wants to play so rain, rain, go away Ok, this time, you can add your baby’s name! Rain, rain, go away, come again another day Little _____ wants to play so rain, rain go away Who else might want to play? I do! Rain, rain, go away, come again another day Ayelet wants to play so rain, rain go away Why don’t you come up with another person who might want to play (yourself, for instance) Rain, rain, go away, come again another day _______ wants to play so rain, rain go away You know, on second thought, I think it might be fun to go outside and play IN the rain, as long as we’re warm and cozy enough! Rain, rain, stay all day, come again throughout the day Baby and I want to play so rain, rain, stay all day! Since this is sort of a lulling tune – slow and repetitive, it feels nice to hum it or make it into a lullaby. Let’s try taking out the words and just humming the melody. Mmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmm Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmm, mmmm Now, this is, of course, a nursery rhyme that I’ve put to a tune – using just the rhythm and simply chanting the rhyme might be appealing for some of you out there, and that’s just fine, too. In fact, alternating rhythmic and melodic “verses” is a nice way to highlight different parts of “musical experience” for your baby Rain, rain, go away come again another day My sweet baby wants to play so rain, rain, go away Ok, speaking of rhythm, let’s have a little fun. I love using real drums because I love the natural materials, but kitchen pots bowls, and pans, are also fantastically effective instruments (and readily available!) – feel free to take yours out now! Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one (1) The mouse ran down, hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck two (1, 2) The mouse said, “woo hoo!!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck three (1, 2, 3) The mouse said, “wheeeee!!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck four (1, 2, 3, 4) The mouse said, “let’s do more!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck five (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) The mouse said, “let’s jive!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck six (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) The mouse said, “oh, fiddlesticks!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck seven (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) The mouse said, “let’s go to 11!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck eight (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) The mouse said, “wow! This is great!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) The mouse said, “This is fine!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck ten (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) The mouse said, “let’s do it all again!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck eleven (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) The mouse said, “I think I should have stopped at 7!” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock The clock struck twelve (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) The mouse said, “This is one we’re gonna shelve” Hickory dickory dock Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock! Ooh! That’s fun. Ok, I wanted to take a moment and just speak about why we as parents and caregivers are always hearing people say things like, “oh, play music for your baby,” “sing to your baby!” We hear, “it’s important and useful to expose your baby to music and rhythms and songs…” but WHY? Let’s start with the basics – and look at some of the inextricable links between music and speech. First, both use “pitch” – in music, we sing a melody, and in speech, we use variations in our intonation (for instance, when we ask a question, our pitch rises). Second, both have a rhythmic quality. Music is grouped into what we call “phrases” by meter and tempo. There are rhythmic rules that govern a song, which then might help to determine what genre of music it is. In speech, we use phrases as well, in a way. Just think about how we use punctuation, or pauses either — for effect, or simply to mark the end of a sentence. So, some of the essential components of both music and speech are actually very similar! When we expose our children to the stories and music of our cultures from a very early age, we are helping them to develop musical intelligence, but also primary communication skills! There’s a term that is often used in early learning and child development, called “joint attention” – this is essentially the shared attention between you and your child upon another “thing” – an object or event. It’s not merely that you are both looking at the same thing, but it’s that you’re both using words, gestures, gaze, or other non-verbal communication to understand that you’re both interested in the same object or event. This is a crucial piece of communication (and something that usually happens sometime in the later part of the first year of life), and also it’s crucial to the act of being musical in a group. When we sing to our young children, we are modeling: Vocabulary and phrasing patterns or grammatical structures (sentences, questions / commands / statements)Expressions of feelings and thoughts (through our physical actions, words, tone of voice, and facial expressions)Attention and listening skills – hey, you’re not just entertaining your child! You’re interacting uninterruptedly with a focus! Think about how rare this kind of interaction is becoming in the age of technology! So, good work! The post Why Sing with Infants and Toddlers? appeared first on Learn With Less.

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Enrich Your Practice as a Parent Educator, with Sara Moreno Sep 16, 2021
    Show notes

    How Sara Discovered The Confidence To Serve Families Holistically In Her Community and Beyond In this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with special educator, music educator, parent educator, speech therapist, and Learn With Less® facilitator, Sara Moreno of Mi Casa Abierta. Sara has been instrumental in the community and growth of the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, and has been utilizing resources from Learn With Less® for the last several years. Sara has also taken on the task of translating and interpreting all the materials (lesson plans and caregiver handouts) for our “caregiver & me” programs into Spanish so that we can more inclusively and responsibly serve families from both multilingual (Spanish, English) and monolingual (Spanish) households. In this episode, we discuss: Sara’s educational and professional background, and what brought her to the work she’s doing todayHow Sara found the confidence to serve families more holistically, both in her own community in San Salvador, and beyondWhy the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program has been so valuable and transformational both for her practice, and in her personal lifeThe various new avenues she has explored due to her experience with the Learn With Less® programWhy the curriculum transcends culture and parenting philosophy, and is universally accessible to families who simply want more tools to support and connect with their young children Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® podcast episode: Educating Parents to be Their Child’s First Teacher, with Rachel Kammeyer Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Impact Your Community With Parent Education and Parent Coaching Skills, with Laurel Smith Learn With Less® podcast episode: How Lesley Took Her Existing Skills as an Educator, and Started Serving Infant/Toddler Families In a Holistic, Meaningful Way Learn With Less® podcast episode: How to Use Your Skills as an Educator or Therapist to Serve Families Holistically as a Parent Educator, with Allie Glazer Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Sara: Instagram / Facebook Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of the Episode Ayelet: Welcome, Sara, officially, to this conversation, I wanted to just chat with you today, because you have been such a big part of the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training and Certification Program over the last year plus… in so many ways, and I want to, number one, just take a moment to thank you for, for being part of it. And it’s such a pleasure to to know you to be in community with you and to have you be part of this program and how it’s grown, and all of the benefits that you’ve added to it. So I wanted to really share that with our larger community and make sure that you have a voice here and that we want to just amplify what you’re doing. So can you just give a little bit of a background about you know, who you are, your professional, educational experiences, where you are in the world? And yeah, let’s start there! Sara: I’m so happy to be here. And I’m so glad to be part of this program. And well, my name is Sara Moreno, I’m from El Salvador. I’m a special educator, but I have a lot of interests in so many areas, as you know. I’ve been studying some certifications in music education, and early music stimulation. And also in well, I did Learn With Less®, and also I have a master’s in speech language therapy. So yeah, that’s like what I’ve been doing. I’m a violin teacher. And I also give music communication and all that stuff in national, like a music institute here. That’s what I’m doing. And also I have particular clients in speech therapy, that’s what I’m actually doing. And also, I’m the founder of Mi Casa Abierta. That’s a space where I give parents and educators tools to be with their child and use music in that process of seeing them grow. Ayelet: Yes, so many amazing, amazing experiences. And I think I mean, it’s kind of hard to believe that you do all of those things, and that you have all of those capabilities, because you’ve also done such a beautiful job of bringing together all of your interests, all of your skills, all of the things that make you thrive and light up. And you’ve created this very robust and very sort of diverse career path for yourself, that’s part traditional employment and part entrepreneurship and a lot of experimentation. Yeah, that’s something just I think that’s such a neat part of who you are, and and what has drawn me to you and to work with you. It’s just been such a pleasure. So I want to ask you a little bit about what drew you to Learn With Less®, and the Learn With Less® program, and in general, just the brand, the podcast, the books, all of those kinds of things… For you. What was it that sort of drew you in? And how did you find us because I love knowing that there are people out there from all over the world, right? I think for me, it’s very easy to speak to, especially people in the United States, because that’s where I live currently, but also, say, specifically in Europe, because that was where I lived when I started this work. But I know and you know, and many people know that so much of what we talk about in the Learn With Less® curriculum, and all of the things that we do is applicable to all over the world. So I’d love to hear your specific perspective on all that. Sara: Yeah, I found you on Instagram. I really love Instagram. And a lot of my resources come from there. And I found you because I was looking for SLP s. And I was like starting to study in that area. And here in my country, you can study the be an SLP [speech-language pathologist]. So you have to look outside. Here, the special educators are the ones that take that job. So I started looking for people that I felt like had an approach similar to what I already knew. So I really loved that you were using like not having to buy anything because that was something that I was feeling like I was not enough and maybe it was not that I was not enough but that I didn’t have all the things that some speech, some SLPs have. So when I realized that I didn’t need anything, actually anything… And that I could use anything I had and that families had… it was like a new world. And… it was like, I really love to find you because I, you know, you gave me like the confidence to use what I knew and to feel like an SLP. That was something that was very hard for me because that’s not my main career! Yeah, that was the way I found you. And then I actually give like groups of music initiation, like, like… Ayelet: Like a music enrichment class? Sara: Yeah, the first steps in music for some kids. Yeah, I also believe that music is connected to all development areas. So I was so happy to find you, because I call you what you taught me to those music groups and also for my individual SLP work. Ayelet: Right. Because as if you’ve been listening to the Learn With Less® podcast or following Learn With Less® for any measure of time, you know that our four pillars are play, talk, sing, and move. So music is a big component of what we do, we have some nod to music and all of our podcast episodes and books, you know, Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, we encourage families to use music in so many different ways. And then, of course, in our Learn With Less® “caregiver and me” classes that we hold throughout the world with licensed facilitators. You know, music is a big part of what we do and how we encourage families to be with their children. So I guess that’s a good segue into the program itself. And I think it would be interesting to hear, because you already were leading classes, right, you had your own curriculum that you were developing. So what then was the impetus for you to also invest your time and your energy and financials into a program that would give you something different. Like, for you, what was the benefit and value of that? Sara: I feel like, first of all, you can learn from so much things, sometimes journey to look like for something that is specific, just when you learn it, you know how to connect it. And that’s like a philosophy I have. But also, I think that the thing that made me feel like a stronger connection was the thing of buying stuff and not having to. You know, and before being in the program, I was the one, the teacher that goes to any store, and starts to look for things for therapy, or for classes, or for whatever, even when I didn’t have the plan, you know, I went and “oh these could be useful someday. And these too, and this could be useful too!” And actually, now I understand that it doesn’t work like that, because you get like so frustrated that you will never have materials for everything. But you can use anything so that I don’t know how to explain that. Ayelet: Yeah! That was, I mean, it is the reframe right, you have to adjust your own perspective. Because I think it’s so interesting, Sara, how you say that. Because I think a lot of professionals feel like that, right? I remember being a speech-language pathologist and at least the first five years or more of my career and going to the dollar store or going to garage sale or going to the toy store or watching someone on Instagram who’s some big, you know, influencer in the early intervention or therapy space who’s talking about how great this toy or this activity is. And it’s like, yes, that’s wonderful. But that’s not the point! But I agree, it’s, it’s how we come into our professional journey thinking, Okay, it’s the tool that’s going to be effective to work with families. And on the other side, I think as a parent, my own self, when I became a mom, I felt that, too! This pressure to have the latest and greatest and best and most developmentally enriching toys. But I knew also that like, Oh, my gosh, this is not necessary. And the more I met with families, and the more I became more comfortable in my own skin, as a mom, I was seeing how much we could do with just the basics. And for me, I was living in a new country when I had a baby. So I didn’t have all of my therapy materials, for instance, in the garage, or in an office or somewhere. So I was starting from scratch, which actually was so good for me! And so I would maybe go down the street to the local thrift store and find some very basic kinds of things, and then show my friends how you could use this in so many different ways. But over time, even those toys that I would get became less important. And it was much more about the empty milk carton or the paper towel roll that I actually just happened to have around that I would hand my baby and he would love it and play with it. And I was like, oh, let’s sing about it. Let’s add more language around it. Let’s move and do fun things with it, right? Let’s play with it. That was literally how Learn With Less® grew up. Sara: You know, it was funny that at the beginning when my approach like my mindset changed, you don’t have to buy things. It was so interesting because parents came sometimes and asked me what did they have to buy? And they asked me if I could buy the things that we use in therapy. So I explained I started like to ask them to bring me the things that they had. For example, even I know that my kids, my kids, they’re not my kids. But my clients, I know that they had toys. And I was not like get rid of the toys… It was like, bring it bring the toys that they love! I, in the therapy, I improvised. And I, I taught them like you can do this, and this and this, and you don’t need to buy anything. So I started, like, including them in therapy and tell them to do what you do in Learn With Less® groups, like give them the model, and then ask them to practice in front of me to make them feel comfortable and confident that they could do that. And also, I wanted to mention in this line that when you have like this mindset that you have to buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, it affects your personal life, because it affects your financial Yeah. And it affects also, for example, we want to have a not minimalist life, but less stuff. And you want to do that. And you want to have an organized life in the inside and in the outside in your home. And you have a therapy room in your home, and you have a lot of material that interferes with your personal life. So it’s something that was amazing for me. The other thing that I don’t want to stop mentioning is that for me, before the program, it was like hard to give advice to the to the moms and dads because I’m not a mom, and understanding that I don’t have to be a mom to give great tools and to help, really help them. It was amazing, because it’s a big part of the program telling us like, you don’t have to be that to help. So yeah, that that was another thing that made me feel like a big connection with with the program and made me value a lot of the information. Ayelet: Right. It’s not just about having access to this specific curriculum, it’s a whole mindset shift, and then working through your own confidence and ability, your own self concept as a facilitator and the person in your community who can be a resource. Sara: Yeah. And I think that we’re the people that is like thinking about getting in or not, you know, they have to know that this is not about if you’re gonna give these classes if you’re gonna lead “mommy and me” sessions, it’s not about that! Awesome if you do, but you don’t need to like enter thinking about this, because this can enrich your practice in so many ways. Even if you’re just a mom, like because you can connect this with anything, anything you’ll learn can be connected with what you already do. That’s amazing. Ayelet: I would love to hear you expand on that. Because obviously, a lot of the time when someone applies to the program, their end goal is to have this ability to offer these family enrichment classes, right. That’s that’s the whole point to them. But as you say, and many of our other facilitators have expressed that there’s so much more to the program than just that end goal. And in fact, people have even said, like, I got the value of this entire program and all of the mindset shifts and building my own confidence and learning about marketing and things like that. Even if I never had even taught one Learn With Less® class, like I got my money’s worth. So I would love to hear more from you about like, can you speak to some of those other pieces? Obviously, there’s the end goal of being able to utilize the Learn With Less® program, but what are some other ways that this program has impacted you in your life? Sara: Yeah, as I said, using other materials, like boxes, and blankets, pillows, and books, magazines, all those things, the use of that was amazing. Like it opens your eyes to the use of all these things, and not just for giving the sessions. You know, also, if you are in the therapy room, you can use it for a lot of goals. And also, if you’re in music lessons, you can make songs from that you can use it as an instrument. You can use it to do a lot of activities. If you’re a mom, you can use it just for the time that you’re spending with your child. So I’m talking about the things I do, but I’m so sure that also if yo…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    What is Trauma and Trauma Informed Care? With Michelle Hardeman-Guptill Sep 01, 2021
    Show notes

    How do we heal from trauma? How do we become trauma informed practitioners? This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast was recorded as a live, virtual event featuring a very special guest, psychotherapist and trauma-informed transformational coach, Michelle Hardeman-Guptill, and was aimed at both parents/caregivers as well as professionals working with infant/toddler families. We discussed: Michelle’s professional and educational background, and how she came to doing the work she does todaySome good working definitions for trauma (big and little “T”)What does it mean to be “trauma informed” as a practitioner? (& whose wheelhouse is this even in?)Tips and resources for those hoping to start looking at / continuing their healing journey in their own traumaTips and resources for those serving families, who would like to engage from a more “trauma-informed” lens HELPFUL RESOURCES RELATED TO THIS EPISODE What is Trauma and Trauma-Informed Care? handout created by Michelle Hardeman-Guptill Trauma-Informed Service Providers Collective, a free group from Michelle Hardeman-Guptill The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van der kolk Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists, by Janina Fisher Polyvagal Flip Chart, by Deb Dana National Center for Trauma Informed Care National Child Traumatic Stress Network Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! CONNECT WITH US Michelle: Website / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest TEXT TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE Ayelet: Welcome back to the Learn With Less® podcast. We are so excited to be hosting this very special live event and I am so very thrilled to be here with all of you in community. I am Ayelet Marinovich, your host of the Learn With Less® podcast. I want to officially introduce you to our very special guests Michelle Hardeman-Guptill. Michelle is a licensed psychotherapist, a trauma informed transformational coach, and an advocate for creating a trauma informed world so that we can all live life from our hearts with compassion, rather than from our fears with defensiveness – well put. Michelle has been a trauma specialist for the last 15 years. The beginning of her career was focused on children and families, many in the system in some way, many with trauma histories and lived experiences where their voices were not heard, respected or valued. While Michelle continues to work one on one and in small groups with gifted practitioners and creatives who are ready to break through to the next layer of their expansion and possibility, another layer of her work is working with small businesses and corporations to help them create a trauma informed work environment. So from c-level, to management, to staff to customer and consumer, that value of recognizing when someone is responding from a place of trauma (including ourselves!) cannot be overstated. As Michelle says, “it’s time to look at the elephant in the room.” And it’s always been there, but we have not always been able to know the tools, we haven’t been taught the tools to see it and understand it and deal with it. So Michelle breaks down trauma into digestible and bite sized, practical and often humorous pieces for deeper understanding and a greater sense of confidence and competence in managing the things that distress us, including other humans! Love it. So, that is why I am so excited to have you on the show today, Michelle, and to be able to share this conversation with the greater Learn With Less® community. Thank you so much for being here today with us and welcome. Michelle: Thank you so much for inviting me into your community. I really appreciate it, I’m excited to be here. Ayelet: Yeah, good. Fantastic. Well, Michelle, you know, that was the official version of your bio, but we would love to just hear a little bit more about you, about how you actually, you know, came into doing the work that you do today. Michelle: Yeah! So I guess I’ll start at the beginning, which is that I have my own trauma history. I experienced sexual abuse at a very young age. And part of what happened for me was that my parents… nobody is trained as a parent to recognize the signs, right? Nobody knows. And so they didn’t recognize the signs. And when I finally remembered some things about it, the response was kind of like, Oh, I’m so sorry, let’s just forget that ever happened, you know. And so a lot of the damage of trauma comes after the fact, when someone chooses to share their story, or if they choose not to share their story because they’re afraid to do so. So I have my own trauma history. And I seemed to have this stamp on my forehead that said, I will listen to your trauma from a very young age. So I had perfect strangers telling me their stories on buses, trains, in supermarkets, you name it. I worked with children in theater, specifically teens. And we were doing a project where they would share their stories from the stage. So we were doing a monologue workshop and group workshop and a lot of trauma started to show up in the room and kids were going home and you know, self harm, substance use. And I realized, you know, I really need to understand how to hold trauma, like I need to understand more about it, I need to learn how to help people compartmentalize it and kind of wrap it up before they leave the room. So I decided to go back to school to become a psychotherapist. And I kind of always specialized in trauma. And it’s interesting because when you’re trained as a therapist, you’re not actually trained in how to work with trauma. Like that’s what you do after, that’s what you learn after you get your degree, right, they touch on it in little bits and pieces, but it’s not actually like a whole training on like, this is trauma. This is what it looks like. And you have to actually discover that after the fact, which I think is kind of like, huh! You know? So for me, the perspective that I hold is that Yeah, sure, maybe doing some of the deep dive stuff with trauma and really, really working with complex trauma and all of that is in the realm of the therapist, but we’re always dealing with trauma, we’re always dealing with it. The more informed we are about what it is, what it looks like what’s helpful in those situations, what’s not helpful in those situations, the easier it is for us to be able to manage not only the person in front of us, but ourselves. Because when someone in front of us is having a trauma response, we are often having our own central nervous system response to what is going on for them. And when we can separate those two and recognize that that’s what’s actually happening, we can come back into our own bodies, calm our systems and be able to actually hold space for that person to move through whatever they need to move through. So there’s a lot of divisiveness in our world right now. And a lot of that divisiveness is trauma, it’s trauma responses, it’s people feeling like their identity is being attacked. And we will talk about the definition of trauma in a moment, because that is a piece of it that a lot of people don’t consider when thinking about the word, “trauma.” So I’m on a mission, to create a trauma informed world and to help as many people and businesses and families become trauma informed as possible. Because I know, for myself, if I had had that, after that experience, it would have changed my life, I wouldn’t have been holding on to the trauma symptoms and reminders in my body and in my mind, if I had had some of those things right after the event. Yeah, that’s my story. Working Definitions of Trauma Ayelet: Thank you so much for sharing that, first of all. Let’s get into some good working definitions. Because, you know, we collected a huge amount of responses that was like, so beautiful, I sent out a form to the Learn With Less® community. And everyone responded, like we had so many incredible responses, both from people who identify as parents and caregivers, and from those professionals, like educators and therapists, and people like that, who are, you know, working with new families who are looking to be more trauma informed. And so we’ve been sort of trying to work together, you and I, Michelle, to really come up with like a clear, concise podcast episode with for you, to make sure that we can include all of those things, and all of the beautiful questions and challenges and things that are coming up for people. One definite pattern that we saw again, and again, was really – and I really appreciate this – coming from all of the people who responded was, you know, I don’t even know what is… like, I can’t even define trauma. I’m not quite sure what that is. And I know that, in general, when we’re talking about trauma, I have, you know, quotations, this is, there are you know, definitions for like that big T trauma and little t trauma. So let’s just first spend a little time, Michelle, talking through some working definitions of trauma, both big and little “T.” Michelle: Okay. Sounds good. So there’s a lot of definitions out there. And they all kind of point to the same things. But probably the most practical definition I’ve read or heard was from Karl Dawson, who is the founder of EFT, matrix re-imprinting, which is kind of like a regression form of tapping, right? So he came up with this four part definition that I love. And basically what he says is that trauma is an event or series of events that are four different things. One is that it’s sudden and shocking, right? The second piece is that it is a threat to one’s safety, identity or sanity. The third is that it creates a freeze response, a sense of helplessness, that means they can’t get out of the situation, right? They can’t run, they can’t fight. They’re just kind of frozen in the experience. And then the fourth piece is that they often feel isolated. And that was the piece I was talking about earlier, where they might not feel like they can share about the event with anybody, they might feel shame about it, they might feel they’re going to get in trouble. They might, you know, there’s all kinds of things that can happen. So the main thing is that it dysregulates the system, right? The system becomes dysregulated during that experience. And so trauma is not actually what happened. A lot of people think that trauma work is like going back into the memory and having to like dig it up and feel the feels… that’s not actually trauma work that’s effective, it can be re traumatizing. Some folks want to go there and when they want to go there and they’re ready to go there, that could be very cathartic and beautiful. But many people are very defended against going there – for good reasons, because their defenses have been there to protect them, right? So trauma’s not what happened, it is what we believed about ourselves, the world, because of what happened, and what happened in our own body and central nervous system in response to what happened. Unlike animals, we don’t have a way to discharge trauma. So animals in the wild will literally go and shake their bodies and physically, and sigh and do all of these things to release trauma from their body and then they get up and they run off and they go do their thing and they don’t continue to have trauma responses. What we do as humans is as soon as we see somebody who’s dysregulated or upset or has had something bad happen to them, we go Oh calm down it’s okay here’s a Kleenex. What do you want? What do you need? Right? We try to fix it, rather than saying oh my god… Wow, that’s so, that’s so intense or that must have hurt so bad, or like do you need – what do you need to do? Do you need to shake your body do, you need to scream? Like, what needs to happen to just release some of that energy? Because if we don’t release it comes out sideways later when we scream at our child or we scream at the dog, or it goes inward and we get disease, right? And we get we get stuff that happens in our bodies. So big T trauma is basically what most of us think trauma is right: war, domestic violence, sexual abuse, you know, kind of the big, the big ones. Little t traumas are, most of the time are wrapped up more around our identity, right? So these are these are smaller traumas like, you know, let’s see what examples did I give in here? I had a couple of examples, things like non life threatening injuries, emotional abuse, humiliation, bullying, things like that. So the third grade teacher who humiliated you in front of class and told you that, you know, don’t quit your day job, writing is not your thing. Imagine how a child takes that information. That was an attack to their good writer self. And so if that gets reinforced in any way, shape, or form, that becomes a little t trauma, right? That gets wrapped up in their identity. And now they have complexes or neuroses around writing because it was sudden and shocking to their system, it was a threat to their identity, they felt helpless, and they feel isolated and embarrassed, right. So we don’t think about those kinds of traumas. And the interesting thing about those kinds of traumas is if you have multiple little t traumas, it’s more emotionally damaging than one, big t trauma. Big T traumas are actually much easier to work through, especially if you get help right away. And little t traumas, like I said, get wrapped up in our identity. And so they’re harder to kind of pull out because a part of us is convinced that’s just who we are. And it’s not true. It’s a part right. It’s a part of us that’s holding on to that particular wounding. So the other way we can look at trauma is there’s acute, so it was one time and then it was over, it never happened again. And then there’s chronic trauma. Same thing, acute trauma is easier to deal with and chronic trauma, it’s going to take longer. And then there’s physical trauma, and there’s relational trauma. So when we meet people who we consider to be difficult, most likely they have experienced relational trauma. And what they’re searching for is a sense of safety in relationship, and they’re looking to you for that, even if you didn’t ask to be in that role. So that is another piece is that it’s different. Physical trauma is different than relational trauma. And relational trauma impacts our relationships for the rest of our lives. And so that is the scary thing. And as far as what trauma looks like, you know, there’s so, there’s so many ways that they can look, the DSM has some pretty clear criteria for post traumatic stress disorder, or acute stress disorder that lists some of those things. But just off the top, the first thing you notice is that they’re dysregulated. And dysregulated usually means they’re being reactive, really big, intense, or they’re completely shut down, they’re checked out, or they’re falling asleep, they’re they’re not here, right? Those two extremes are pretty much really clear indicators that somebody is is kind of in a trauma response. And it’s important to notice that. It’s not always like sometimes people just daydream, you know, it’s it’s not always that so it’s, that this is the place we got to be careful, is that, you know, if we start jumping to conclusions, we start assuming like, well, wh…

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    What Are Your Values as a Parent or Professional in Early Childhood? Aug 19, 2021
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    Defining your Values as a Parent or a Professional Serving Families Perinatally or in Early Childhood Can Guide Your Work & Lighten The Load Today’s episode is just an intimate conversation between you and I wanted to share a bit about what guides our work here at Learn With Less®, and how we make decisions about the resources we share, the people we bring on to join us on this platform, and the values that guide us. Helpful Resources Related to This Episode: Learn With Less® Infant & Toddler Development Blueprint: a free resource outlining the four major areas of development in the first three years, and how to use our 4-pillar framework to support and connect with your baby or toddler, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler resources, including our bestselling books, fun family music album, a pre-recorded Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” class, and a 1-page handout outlining how you can take everything we did and do it at home to maximize your time with your tiny human! Understanding Your Baby & Understanding Your Toddler: our bestselling books and the basis for the Learn With Less® curriculum. These are month-by-month development and activity guides for playing with your baby from birth to three years. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact on your life, income, and community! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Text Transcript of This Episode: I want today’s message to reach you as we reset for a new season of Fall, a new school year, and so many hopes for the future. I’m recording this in mid to late August 2021. So over the last few years, I’ve done a lot of work to create a values aligned life and business. Undoubtedly, parenting and working through a pandemic has tested so many of us on so many levels. However, when we get clear on our values, it helps us to clarify what motivates us and helps us to see the path forward to the life we want to create. And sometimes more importantly, how to get there in integrity with what we believe. Now, if you’ve done any kind of values work before, you’ll know that this experience can help illuminate and lighten the load. I’d also love to get to know what your values are. So you can go ahead and send me a message on Facebook or Instagram at Learn With Less®. Seriously, I love learning about you and I love reading every response. Now if you’ve been here for a while or you’re new to Learn With Less®, I want to re-familiarize you with the values that we hold here partly because I believe it will clarify for you whether you still want to be here you know receiving my emails or listening to this podcast. I’m partly because I want you to know more about what motivates me and how we create the resources that we do here at Learn With Less®. So here we go. What are the values we hold at this company? You know, I start every podcast episode in my intro by defining what those are. But really these help to guide every decision that we make here at Learn With Less®. So the first value that I’d like to share with you is community. This is one of the reasons why I create this podcast to be in community with you all at some level, right? We also value communal learning, the resources that we share in our Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, our books, things like that. We really do share resources that help facilitate communal learning, which is about facilitation versus like hierarchical learning and learning together and alongside one another and really creating a safe and brave space that is inclusive for all identities. We value communal support in that we’re here for each other. And we recognize that our diverse experiences make us stronger. Now I create community, on a broad scale, of course with you here, just by being in your ear or listening to this podcast, but I also take it very seriously with regard to say, the training program that I have created with the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. We create a very strong community, and we build community for our facilitators that we’ve trained and licensed, and then support and coach along the way as they continue to bring our programs into communities in their world. And we also want to, of course, foster that community building for each and every class that any one of our facilitators hold. So we model that in our training program. And then that gets to be just divided and conquered and continued on through the facilitation of our licensees through the Learn With Less® program all over the world. The second value I want to share with you is playfulness. Now being playful, is a core element of the Learn With Less® philosophy play is also one of our four pillars including play, talk, sing and move. And these four pillars are present in really everything we do and all the resources like my books, Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler. And that’s what all of the Learn With Less® caregiver and parent and me classes are based upon. So play, talk, sing, and move… but play! We know that play begets play, right? So the more playful we can be as adults, the more we can model playfulness to our children and at our company for our clients, right? Both those parents and caregivers and the professionals we serve. So this often takes the form of musicality, right? This is why we start and end each episode of the podcast with with a song! It might take the form of sharing joy and joyful moments and silliness, and just stuff surprise and delight. So we try to you know, incorporate playfulness into really everything we do. The next value I want to share with you is simplicity. You know, the Learn With Less® philosophy is is very much about simplicity, right? It’s not a parenting philosophy. It’s just about re-adjusting, reformulating, re-orienting… it’s about re-orienting our lens to see the value within simple, simple materials and simple moments of everyday simple interactions. Right? So we value simplicity in materials. But also, since that’s such a core value, we try to incorporate simplicity into all the explanations that we provide for clients in our resources and in our content, like our books for instance, definitely in our classes, right, our Learn With Less® classes are very much, we try to say less and do less and give you more opportunity to observe and practice and explore and reflect as a parent. And as our licensees know, we really encourage facilitators of our classes to do and guide less, say less, and give our parents and caregivers the chance to try and do more. So simplicity in explanations as well as simplicity in processes that we create here at Learn With Less® in the back end and then simplicity in solutions to help you move forward in you know in your own parenting style or moving our clients one step forward who participate in our classes to say like, “oh well here’s one little thing when very simple adjustment or different strategy that you might try with your little one when you’re sitting with them or changing a diaper.” And also simplicity to help our facilitators who are building these sort of side hustles building these “caregiver & me” classes within their communities like how can they move one step forward to really build that business or build that practice of working with families we believe that families already have everything they need right simplicity and materials so we know that toys are great and a lot of people ask me you know well if I am following Learn With Less® do I does that make me you know quote unquote, “a bad person” or “a bad mom” or “a bad professional” if I’m drawn in by certain toys and buying toys? Listen, we’re not anti toy! You know, we, we just we value simplicity. We know that this reorientation that you can make for yourself and readjustment to see that there are so many ways that you can play with a simple empty tissue box and you… don’t need, you know, a beautiful, organically stained wooden toy to do essentially the same thing, right pull tissues out of a box, for instance, or explore simple materials as a baby or a toddler. Like, we all know that that empty paper roll, it’s pretty amazing and can take the form of so many things. So we share how to play and how to talk and sing and move with those simple, simple materials. Now, another one of our values is education. We value the power of knowledge. And we know that the network effect of our shared communal knowledge as a whole is so much more powerful than that of one person, right. So that’s why I love bringing guests on to the podcast. And when I started the Learn With Less® podcast, you know, the first, I don’t know, 25-30 episodes, I was I was creating all that content myself. But as I went along and realized that, my goodness, I don’t have all the answers, obviously, I’m one person, I’m not supposed to have all the answers. And I, as a parent, myself, as well as a professional really wanted to learn from others. So I would bring on people who are knowledgeable in lots of different areas, or who had totally different unique experiences from what I have. And so, I so believe that we can all educate ourselves through others, it doesn’t have to be, you know, formal education, it can certainly be through communal education and through your community. So, you know, we encourage you so much as I said, community is such a big part of what we do here with our classes that we share with families all over the world. And we encourage you to educate yourself about how your child learns, because that’s so much that takes so much of the edge off of early parenthood, I think for many caregivers is just knowing, okay, well, what’s appropriate, right now, what’s my kid supposed to be doing or, or thinking about or knowing or understanding, you know, when we have that knowledge to know what our kiddos might be working on, then we can think about very simple ways that we can support that learning, right? We also value self education and self advocacy, and then reaching out for support when you need it. So that’s why, for instance, with the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, we have created a robust set of resources and a beautiful, you know, very organized framework for people to go through our process, and then be able to successfully host these classes, Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes throughout their communities and bringing in clients, and sharing our values really, at the end of the day with people in their community, those shared values. But we also continually support our clients, and we know that they’re going to also have to reach out for what they need. We are here, right? We are always here to help. But we definitely want people to be able to advocate for what they need. And we are here to listen, the last value I want to share with you is our value of inclusivity. We very much value the diverse perspectives, experiences and practices of our clients, all of our clients. And that includes, again, both our licensees and then the families that we all ultimately serve. And we really do value, of course, the provision of access, offering information and service at all financial levels. For instance, through this Learn With Less® podcast, through our books, through our “caregiver & me” classes and our courses. And then through our licensing and certification program, we are in the practice of honoring and creating and upholding spaces for those who hold marginalized identities. We try to do this and educate ourselves in a responsible manner that doesn’t center one identity. We also encourage you, our community, our larger community to be in a practice of self understanding with regard to things like anti bias work, anti racist work, so that you can responsibly serve and uphold the identity of your clients, your community members, fellow parents, fellow caregivers, in your community, or in other aspects of your own professional or personal work. So those are the values – those are the values that we hold dear. Defining and leaning into my values has definitely given me the vocabulary, helped me to set the intention, and allowed me to live my values really through my business as well as in my personal life through my parenting and truly create remarkable space for folks that I serve. And it has created so much more depth for all of my clients and really provided me with such a strong compass for the way that I’m doing business. So I wanted to share that with you and whether you are a parent, a caregiver, an educator, a therapist, or all of the above. Whether you are expecting your first child or you have multiple tiny humans running around your home, or whether you support families in the perinatal stage of life for those with young children, we all have values that define us, that help us shape our commitments, and that allow us to lead our lives heading down the path that we want to go. I would love to know: what are yours? Give it some thought, and tell me! I would love for you to share by sending me a message on Facebook or Instagram over at @learnwithless because the more I know about you and the values you hold, the more I get to understand our broader community that we’re building. I understand more about what inspires you, what guides you, and what it is about learning with less that helps you find meaning and inspiration. So with that, we’re going to sing our goodbye song and head out. Thank you so much for joining me today! The post What Are Your Values as a Parent or Professional in Early Childhood? appeared first on Learn With Less.

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    Simple Ways to Connect With Your Baby or Toddler Aug 03, 2021
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    It’s Simple, Really: all you need to remember is how to play, talk, sing, or move In this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet brings back a chat with two women who helped shape the journey of the entire Learn With Less® infant and toddler curriculum. Manuela and Gwen, two mothers living in London, became parents at the same time as (and along with) Ayelet. Together, they created and maintained a community for new parents and caregivers, by learning alongside each other, and learning alongside their babies. This process of interaction and modeling, of learning and discovering, of exploring and experimenting, is what we discuss in today’s episode. We cover the ways in which, through the powers of observation and the benefit of learning through a developmental framework and in community with each other, these new parents learned to find the confidence to play with, connect with, and support their babies. We discussed: What types of activities helped to guide their children (using simple materials they already had)How they learned to use play, communication strategies, music, and movement to support all areas of their children’s developmentWhy community, simple play ideas, and learning about child development have completely shifted the parenting and lives of these three mothers QUICK ACCESS TO LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Attend a Learn With Less® Class: stop winging it and raise a great human from day one – without having to buy a single toy Download the Learn With Less® Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint, a straightforward guide helping you connect early learning with the simple things you’re often already doing, building confidence and capacity, and raising a great human from day one Understanding Your Toddler: A Month-By-Month Development and Activity Guide For Playing With Your Toddler From One to Three Years, by Ayelet Marinovich Understanding Your Baby: A Week-By-Week Development and Activity Guide For Playing With Your Baby From Birth to 12 Months, by Ayelet Marinovich Learn With Less® Bundle: grab our best infant and toddler resources and save 70%! Apply to become a Learn With Less® Licensed Facilitator: create lasting impact in your life and community with a high quality, evidence-based, plug & play “caregiver & me” program TEXT TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE Ayelet: I’m joined by Manuela and Gwen and we are sitting here in London… And we are just regaling the past. And I thought that there are not many more appropriate people than the two of you to help tell the story of how this whole thing was started. Because we met, actually, the three of us while we were still pregnant with our first. Yeah. And we met in a prenatal yoga class and I remember actually one of the first days that I met you, Manu. Well that I was just amazed by, you were just like the stuff you ever got, a long, beautiful dark hair and this just perfectly pregnant belly. And I was like, wow, she’s so cool. She’s so Italian. And, and then we walked out and you got on your motorcycle and you put on your helmet and you just sped away. And I was like, “wow, I can’t wait to see her next week.” Manuela: Pregnant on the motorcycles… not advisable! But… it was that, I know. Ayelet: A very easy way to get around in London. Manuela: And I also remember the first time I met you! I remember as yesterday. This woman, this girl, actually. I remember a lovely light, sunny day. There was light coming from the window, and I saw you with a green chiffon on your hair. I don’t know, you were so… energetic! I said, “oh!” This is my first memory of you. And it was magic, and I said, “I don’t think she’s English.” Because I didn’t hear your voice yet, but I was wondering where you were coming from. But I was amazed by your energy and your colors. I remember green, and the light. Gwen: My first memory was thinking, “she is not English!” because… I was sitting next to you on the yoga mat. And I’d never spoken to you before, I don’t think I’d even seen you before. And you just came and started having a conversation with me – with a beautiful, I remember, very open smile, and thinking, “how nice!” You know? So, the English are a wonderful people, you know, but it takes a little longer to open up. Manuela: So, you brought us this amazing energy, and then we started this journey together. Yeah, and I remember it was really together in the real sense because we started to discover things together. Gwen: Yeah. I think if I were to summarize, I was a first time parent. I’m an only child. In fact myself, I didn’t grow up with siblings, I hadn’t had much contact with babies in most of my life. And so I came to motherhood with this being… Feeling like a complete amateur and, and that’s, I know I shouldn’t feel so critical of myself, but I felt, you know, a bit isolated and a little bit lost. And Ayelet, I think, as you were saying Manuela, she just brought us together and she created this community, which is a wonderful thing, which made me feel supported and reassured and it’s just, it was such a wonderful warm feeling to meet once a week and sometimes more. And then I think she just taught me that parenting is, is simple. That you just need to get away from this tendency to just want to keep doing things, buying things and reading books and so on. And you just need to sit back and observe your child and listen to them and just let them lead you as opposed to doing what instinctively I did, which was to want to lead her. Ayelet: But we’re the grown-ups, right? Isn’t that our responsibility? Gwen: Yeah! And, and I think I wouldn’t be lying if I said, I think the group we had at the time that Ayelet was leading really changed my parenting journey completely, gave me confidence and changed, changed my life in more ways than one. And, yeah. Fast forward to the day I heard you were leaving. What are we going to do? It was, what are we going to do? Manuela: We had the second child – without you! Yeah. We were, because we were still meeting a lot. Catching up. But having this big loss. Gwen: Yes, exactly. But you had sewn the seeds. Manuela: Exactly. Trying, trying to, to do exactly what we were doing. Even without you, but with your guide in our mind. Yes. Try to… We didn’t need to remember it because what we’ll learn together, uh, it was in our veins. It was already in us. Yeah. So we didn’t have to remember something but only to say, okay, let’s do yeah – Ayelet’s way what she would do that. Ayelet: First of all, what were some of the things that stand to you that we did together that, that were so special? Manuela: As, as Gwen said, I was, I’m also an only child, only child, so, and I really didn’t have any contact with babies in my life before, so I really didn’t know anything about babies. Not even a book about baby, nothing, nothing. We, for me it was this, watch my child, um, and discover – I wasn’t alone in discovering what was happening. So I was watching, observing and together we used to discuss behaviors, our behaviors too, not only our children’s behaviors, but also our reactions about them, about what was happening to us as well. It was huge. It was huge. We, uh, we are alone in London. We are alone and so we were, we were growing up children on our own. Yeah. So the support, it was like we were a big family, but not with the pressure of a, a family would have done if we would have been in a family context probably. Gwen: And I also think, yeah, as you were saying, talking about how the children were developing and their behaviors as you say, was helpful. And at the same time you were always saying we’re not comparing. Right. Yeah. It was done in such a nurturing and friendly way and, and, and just emphasizing that every child is different. Every child develops at their own pace and you know, in some context parents are kind of competing with each other and they compare the children and then they get anxious and you were doing everything you could, Ayelet, to sort of dispel that, immediately, and make sure everyone was observing their child as its own, as, as an entity in and of itself without ever thinking, oh, Joe’s kid of doing that or… And starting with yourself because, so yes, you were mentioning earlier, your little boy took his time to start walking and, and I remember one session where you openly talked about that and you were saying, yeah, you know, he’s, he’s not walking. And that’s, that’s kind of hard because I was expecting it to happen earlier, but I know that he will do it in his own time. And he did. Right. So, yeah, Manuela: For every child is different and this is incredibly special and what a parent should do is watch it, watching the progress and uh, and to try to guide them but not to teach – another thing. Yeah. Try to guide without, without teaching. Because I think that this is the main point I’ve learned. Ayelet: I think too, like when, when we’re grown up, we don’t, unless we’ve studied child development deeply, you know, in depth than how, when was the last time you played with a baby? Probably since when you were a baby, you know that it’s a very, as you were saying it, it takes this reframe to feel like, oh, okay, well this is, I can follow what my child is doing and then I can support her or him by, by following what he’s interested in or what he or she is doing. So I’m curious if either of you remember what, like if there are specific activities or specific moments or songs or things that we did that stand out to you as like an example of how we did that? Gwen: I mean the, uh, the one thing that always stuck with me and the way you conducted your sessions was always you reminded us, well, try to avoid a sort of flash card approach to “what’s this, what’s that” hold up a picture of a cat. The cat goes, “meow, and the dog goes woof, and yeah, and what is it? Ayelet: Right! That’s what we think of as teaching. Gwen: So to me that was, I think that was one of the first things you came up with. And I thought, yeah, of course! And, and then just giving the child different options. So if you had a basket full of objects, you would, instead of just taking one yourself and giving it to the child, you would offer the basket to the child and give them time. You would say, wait, wait, let’s just see what, what she or he decides to choose, what object they would like to play with. And then you were saying, okay, so giving lots of different options around it. Say, so what is it, see it, is it round? Does it make a noise? What kind of color is it? What do you like about it? What would you like to do with it? Do you want to put it near your nose? Do you want to hold it this way? Do you want to put it on the ground? And, and I’m, I’m doing like a completely, you know, it’s, I’m going a lot faster than you ever would have, but it’s just like between everything I have said, you would just pause and wait and observe and yeah, for, for, for first time parents, I think most first time parents, that’s quite hard. But you learn the value of that and you discover your child as they are, not as a reflection of yourself or as well as how you expect, perceive them to be. Ayelet: Yeah. But I also remember for instance, this is such a good example because Gwen, when I met you, you, you are this like warm, loving person who is quiet and gentle and your daughter was a spit fire and amazing and had all this amazing energy. And I mean I recall they, I don’t think they were sitting up yet, they were so little. And she, she would lean in and she would grab the ball and then, and then push it away and, and we had essentially a ballgame with these teeny tiny little babies and they would sort of take turns and sort of move it back and forth. And she wanted that ball – and she was – her personality was showing through from such an early age. And, and this was, I think the first time that we all witnessed this. Yes. And you were like, yeah, this is intense, and really hard for me cause she’s not like me! Gwen: Yeah, I remember that so well, she sort of tucked her chin in and her eyes were like daggers and you’re right. I couldn’t even see how fast that well, but I could sense, oh my goodness, I don’t think I would have ever done something like that when I was a small child and, and it’s true. In one of the sessions I was saying, one of my biggest challenges is realizing how different my daughter is to me. You know, and you go through pregnancy, just imagining a mini me of yourself popping out. And no! Of course not. Right. Yeah, they are. They’re sentient beings. Yeah. And you just seemed to go with it and that’s, I find that so hard. Just go with it. Manuela: And I have to say, also the music, the music. Instruments, different instruments to use and not only instruments, everything. Anything that was making a sound and then the voice, and then putting words together in songs. And that was amazing. I can see today after five years, how powerful was that for them? For them. Because this music is so present in Sofia’s life so much, so much in the she, today I think she’s able to invent songs everyday she invents songs and that she remembers that is amazing. And she has these huge links with the music. I think because she was born like this, no we did it. You, you, you let her in this journey, you let them in, in, in this journey. Gwen: Sounds, words, and rhythm. You were very… I think to me it was the just getting them to feel rhythm. And I Ariana lost dancing so much and from what I understand, you know, pretty good at it and I think that sense of rhythm comes through a lot. But you were teaching it to us in ways that was so simple to just do at home. Manuela: To repeat it. Gwen: To me as I’ve said, it was using simple materials in simple ways that you can easily do at home without a lot of paraphernalia. And that was reassuring, too. You don’t have to go out and buy all these things. Manuela: I remember one thing, the toilet paper – the toilet paper – that was amazing. I never thought about it. I never thought about it. Then I saw you putting things in the shape. Um, let’s see which shape can go through and which shape can’t. So because they are too big or because they are too small, that was amazing and Sofia could spend hours in that. And the same I did with Alice. Even if you weren’t here! So I taught Alice to use the different things in the home. Yes. Things. Uh, It was a way to see the way to see things in your house so you can use everything. Gwen: In the end, that’s all they want to play with. Yes. We have more toys than, I don’t want to admit – thanks to grandparents, amongst other things. Manuela: Yes, that’s the truth. Gwen: But they don’t want to play with most of their toys. They just love the things that you use in the home. Yeah. And they learn so much from those things. Ayelet: Right. And it’s up to us to figure out, not only are they the things that we’re using, but they are also very powerful learning materials. Just as powerful as the beautiful toys that you have in your home. They… The developmental value of that fancy wooden drum and the kitchen with shelves that you have in your, you know, playroom is the same as the shelves in your kitchen. Oh, I was going to ask, I think you consider yourself quite musical, Manuela you, I mean you come from, you’ve used music for many years and you’ve also had much music in your life as well. But did you, what do you think there were certainly people in our group who did not consider themselves musical and I mean obviously you can’t speak to that personally, but what were some of the observations that you had about that? And do you think that we were able to show how music was a powerful tool even to people who are not necessarily confident in their own use of music? Gwen: I mean, that’s, I, yeah, definitely I can vouch this, one of the lovely ladies in the group that is still a very, very good friend of us, Jenny, said to me at the start, you know, I never thought I could ever sin…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    Self-Advocacy in Birth: One Mother’s Birth Story and Shared Lessons, with Val Pitaluga Jul 21, 2021
    Show notes

    Lessons Learned About Identity, Ableism, and Systemic Health Disparities When It Comes to Birth On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, we sat down with Val Pitaluga, of JoyCo Therapy, and Accessible Vacations. Val is a multi-passionate mom, wife, speech-language pathologist, and business owner. Her personal experiences as an immigrant and English language learner fuel both her professional work and personal advocacy efforts. Val has a background in Early Childhood Education and extensive experience working with children of all ages. Val’s husband is a quadriplegic after sustaining a spinal cord injury in a car accident over a decade ago. They met post-injury and bonded over their many shared interests, chief among them travel. They now share about parenting and traveling with a disability via their non-profit, Accessible Vacations. We discussed: Val’s various social identities, and the privileges she holds leading up to the birth of her second sonWhat can happen in a hospital when the system does not prioritize birthing people and their familiesDefinitions of ableism, the ABC’s of Safe Sleep, and evidence-based practices around birthVal’s top tips for advocating for what you need before, during, and after your birthWhy Val advocates for community-based support and leaning on practices of gratitude Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Accessible Vacations American Academy of Pediatrics ABC’s of Sleep JoyCo Therapy Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Pregnancy Related Deaths (CDC) Evidence Based Birth Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (and save 70%)! Discover how to support and connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Connect With Us: Val Website / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript for This Episode Ayelet: Welcome back to Learn With Less®! Today, I have Val Pitaluga joining me. Val is a multi passionate mom, wife, speech-language pathologist, and business owner. Her personal experiences as an immigrant and English language learner fuel both her professional work and her personal advocacy efforts. Val has a background in early childhood education and extensive experience working with children of all ages. Val’s husband is a quadriplegic after sustaining a spinal cord injury in an accident over a decade ago. They met post-injury and bonded over their many shared interests – chief among them, travel. They now share about parenting and travel with a disability via their nonprofit, Accessible Vacations. Val, thank you so much for joining me today on Learn With Less®… we have connected over social media in a variety of speech-language pathology and interest-focused groups, and I’m just so glad to be in community with you. You shared recently your birth story, and I just found it so compelling on so many levels, and I think it’s so important to share experiences like this in general. And so much of what we do here at Learn With Less® is focused on community and education, and the simplicity of what we all would like to be focusing on as far as early parenthood and early childhood. I just thought that this was a great story to share, and I’m so grateful to you that you have decided to join me today. Val: Thank you so much for having me. And thank you for allowing me to share my story on your platform. Ayelet: Well, so just to sort of get started, so now you have several children. How many kiddos do you have? Val: I have two children. Ayelet: Two kiddos. Yeah, the most recent addition to your family is this tiny human that you have attached to you right now, as we record and he is… Val: Six weeks old? Yeah! Ayelet: Six weeks old, amazing. So let’s just sort of get right into it. I’d love for you to share a little bit about what happened with your birth, what is happening, how you are now and that’s sort of the trajectory of the conversation that we’ll have today. But there’s a lot to unpack, because of your own social identities and the identities your family holds. So go for it. Let’s hear… Let’s hear it! Naming Social Identities and Privileges Val: Yeah. So I think in the post that we bonded over and where this idea started, for having me come on your podcast, was just highlighting, like you said, my birth story. So from the lens of how many privileges I held when I came to my second birth, my most recent birth. And so some of those privileges, and I think you you might read a piece of it, and you’re welcome to, but just off the top of my head some of those privileges were I did have a healthy, full term live birth, before the pandemic. So I had that experience of having my husband at every doctor’s appointment and having visitors at the hospital and all those pre-pandemic things. You mentioned, I’m an immigrant and an English language learner. I’ve been told I speak English with native-like proficiency. And so I did speak English when I arrived at the hospital. I am Latina, but I know that I don’t run a higher risk of having a severe maternal morbidity or dying, basically, while giving birth because of the color of my skin. And still, my birth experience left so much to be desired. And I’m a healthcare professional, you know, so I just felt that had I not had all these stacked privileges, my birth experience had the potential to be, frankly, traumatizing. And you know, of course, part of that had to do with, as I mentioned in the passage, that I had a precipitous labor and delivery, right, so my son decided it was go time and it was like he was on a rocket launcher. It was a whole two and a half hours from I’m pretty sure that’s the contraction to having my baby on my chest. Ayelet: I had the same experience with my second, as well. Yeah. Val: It was wild. My mom, who stayed with my firstborn son, so our older son, Joseph, he will be three next month. And my mom had plans to stay with him. And of course, you know, as these things happen, it happened in the middle of the night, 11pm was when I had, 1130 lives and I had my first contractions. So my mom, who was coming to stay with him, was coming from Miami, and we live in Fort Lauderdale. So it’s about a 40 minute drive. And I mean, if she had been 10 minutes later, we would have just delivered him in the parking lot. But yeah, so we arrived, like I said, I was crowning. My husband and I both speak English, we were able to very clearly say like, Hey, I’m crowning. I’m in active labor like, get me a room and part of it is probably hospital protocol. Part of it was probably not realizing the urgency of it. They had me sitting in the admission bay, like, nurses bay, asking me all kinds of questions. How many weeks pregnant are you, who’s your doctor but somehow forgot some like really critical questions, like what’s your group B strep status, like are you positive? So anyway, I’m sitting there in excruciating pain answering this, these questions like, Pitaluga, P-I-T-A-L-U-G-A! Ayelet: Between contractions right? Oh my gosh. Val: Right! And so, my water broke, and finally I got kind of annoyed, and I was like, Okay, my water broke and I need a room, now. And so they’re like, okay, take her to room seven. So I go to room seven, and I’m begging for an epidural, which, you know, in hindsight, full body sweat, shaking uncontrollably. There’s no way they were gonna get a needle in my back at that time, but I’m begging for an epidural. The nurse is like, no, we can’t. My husband is an amazing, amazing advocate. After our second labor, I joked with him that he should become a doula, he should be like the wheelchair doula. Ayelet: Oh, my gosh, that’d be amazing! Val: I’ve already branded it for him. It’s so easy. For some reason. He won’t take me up on it. Ayelet: We’ll see! Val: Right? So he was advocating for me. So like, for example, one of the things that really helped me with my first labor was having a mirror so I could, I’m very, like goal driven. So I could see my son’s head and I was like, Oh, my gosh, I want to meet this human so bad. Let me push harder. So he asked for a mirror and it was just like, the nurse gave him this confused look, and was like… a mirror? And we were like, okay, nevermind, moving right along. And then I think, like, the most dehumanizing moment of my birthing experience was when about an hour and a half after I delivered, the nurse walked me to the bathroom, barefoot, gave me a Peri bottle, and said, here you go. And then she was knocking and I was like, you know, there’s a lot of postpartum waste. I’m working on, on cleaning by myself barefoot in this tiny bathroom. No, I’m not done yet. So yeah, that was probably the most dehumanizing part of it for me. Ayelet: I don’t know, because of my own experiences, because with my first, I was living in Europe, my husband and I gave birth – I gave birth, excuse me, I gave birth to my first while we were living in London, and, and we had a hospital birth. And it took a very, very long time. And I ended up having an epidural, and a forceps delivery. And afterwards, I was, you know, I was not in any position to get up off of my back and, and go clean up. So I had people helping me do that. My second, we were back here in the US, and I also had a precipitous labor, and we did not make it to the hospital. We actually were planning potentially a home birth, we wanted sort of like all the options open to us. But so, I certainly was, you know, cleaning up myself, but in the luxury and comfort of my own shower, and, you know, a very different birthing experience, and a bit like, you know, minimal tearing, and all of those kinds of things. So I honestly, like, I don’t know, what, what is the standard of care? What did you experience with your first birth after… after giving birth? Evidence Based Birthing Options Val: Yeah, so, it’s interesting, we have so many similarities. So I wasn’t in Europe, but I was in Ohio. So my second birth, obviously, happening in Florida. And my first birth was in Ohio, and I gave birth in a hospital called Dublin Methodist Hospital. And it is a newer hospital. So that was another privilege. Of course, they are very, very EBP-focused. They, for example, don’t use an overhead system at all, because they just want moms to be feeling peaceful and relaxed and not, you know, with all this sensory stimulation. And so it’s, it was a very calming and soothing hospital to begin with. But then also the standard of care was great. So I did have an epidural with my first… Ayelet: Oh, sorry, just to go back. You said EBP, which which stands for evidence-based practice for anyone who’s listening, who’s not a speech-language pathologist or in the health, allied healthcare professions, yes. Sorry, please go ahead. Val: That’s right. I’m sorry about that. But, yeah, so they’re very aligned with that what research says is best for mom and for baby. And yeah, I mean, like, that’s a privilege most people don’t have… Ayelet: Right, which is bizarre… and reality. Val: … and unfair. But also Yes, reality. So I did have an epidural with my son and I am so lucky, I have super easy births. And so after I delivered my son, the epidural was kicking off and I was able to walk to the bathroom. But my nurse held my hand and was actually kind of shocked that I was walking, she was like, you need to slow down! So she held my hand walked me there, obviously wearing, wearing my own sandals that I brought in, my flip flops that I brought in from home, and kind of walked me through the whole process of you know, icing the area, care and you know, the first 24 hours are crucial for swelling, and those are things so those are more things that I had to advocate for. I had to ask for an ice pack after delivering a seven pound baby with no pain management, you know and… with or without, you know, the swelling is gonna be brutal. So, so again, I had that experience with my first nurse, Wendy, that I will never forget. Ayelet: I love that you even remember her, like she you know her name and everything you know? Val: Yes, yes. Ayelet: She partnered with you. She was present, she was part of the experience. Whereas the second one, yeah, very different. Val: Absolutely. Yeah. And she, I mean, she honored everything about our family. I remember distinctly her, looking at… so my firstborn son was born on a Monday, she – I’m gonna get all emotional, now. She looked at us and said it had been a hard weekend on L&D, on the labor and delivery unit. And she really needed our, our birth, our family that morning, and she told my husband, he was the most like committed and involved dad I’ve seen in the delivery room in years, and she just like, thanked us for giving her a positive morning after a very difficult weekend. Ayelet: Amazing. Yeah, that’s, I mean, again, you’re partnering with your healthcare team. That’s, that’s the idea, right? Like this is this is what quote unquote, should be happening. Alright. So back to number two. So you’re, you’re you’re told to go into this bathroom, you don’t have any shoes on, you’re not – it sounds like you weren’t given any time to like, sort of prep, you weren’t really given any materials to to help you. No icepack. No nothing, no instructions, no reminders of how how this is supposed to go? And then you’re told, “Are you done yet?” Right. You’re hurried out of the experience trying to do your best. Where is baby at this point? Val: So, baby was still having his neonatal care. So he was being weighed and I think he was struggling still with some temperature issues that I think he might have been under the warmer. So he was he was in the care of – they had at that hospital, two nurses, so one for the mom and one for the baby. So he was with the baby nurse. Ayelet: Okay, and this is relevant, because the next part of your story is about your husband’s experience. Ableism In The Birthing Experience Val: Right. So, I shared how it was dehumanizing for me. My husband, you also mentioned in the intro is a quadriplegic. So quadriplegic, for anyone who’s listening who may not be familiar with the term or may have this stereotypical kind of “Christopher Reeve” idea in their mind. Most people think they can’t move anything at all. People might think they’re event dependent, they’re always in a power chair, but that’s not really the case. Quadriplegic just means all four limbs are affected. So my husband does have weaker hands, he cannot perform fine motor movements. So things like gripping a pencil or a zipper or opening a can of coke or pop (depending on where you live). And so he, he struggles with fine motor movements, but he’s still very independent. He’s, you know, a young guy who was an athlete before his car accident. He’s still an athlete, he plays wheelchair rugby, and quite well, he has tried out for the Paralympics in the past. And he, you know, he’s in a manual chair, like I mentioned, he’s involved in our all of our parenting is mutual. He’s just a regular dad, that parents from a wheelchair. So all that to say he’s very capable, and… Ayelet: And the healthcare professionals can see that he’s maneuvering his own chair. He’s quite, you know, clearly quite strong. He is a totally independent person, please continue. Val: 100%. Yes, he wheeled himself into the hospital, as he does everywhere. And then, he was not… and this was just the beginning of the saga, he was not offered to hold our son after our son was born. And it wasn’t until, obviously, I was in a funny state, obviously, having just delivered – not funny I was in a postpartum state, to call it accurately what it is. So it took me three hours to realize that Oh, my goodness, you haven’t held Julian! So, I have the picture. It’s time stamped 5am, and our son was born at 2am. And that was only because I said, here, hold your baby. But at no point did the baby nurse or the mom nurse, or the attending physician who was also unfamiliar to me, nobody offered my husband to hol…

    Full show notes at the publisher

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