Kiki and Kibbitz

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#109 Below Deck, Season 8, Ep. 3: Max and Dax's Excellent Adventure Nov 18, 2020

Show notes

Just in case budgie smuggling wasn’t enough for you, this week on Below Deck gives us the gift of a naked woman covered with sushi (to which Jen objects violently, on the grounds that the human body sheds 40,000 skin cells a day. Why’d you have to ruin it for the rest of us, JEN?). This episode is full of all the stuff Bravo is made of — muscle-bound guys with one-track minds, ditzy blonds, and entitled rich kids. Captain Lee has had it with crying stews, broken ribs, and Sunshine. Vodka’s the answer, but an elusive one at that. The new guests are either self-made geniuses or *those* kids in your high school you always wanted to beat up. We’ve got a new stew and she’s charming, but already exhausted. So yeah, we’ve got even more crying in yachting on this episode. Grab your Dramamine…it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

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#108 90 Day Fiancé The Other Way, Season 2, Ep. 20: Not on My Watch Nov 17, 2020

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On this episode, Jenny and Sumit find out that they’re finally cleared to get married. Somehow, Sumit doesn’t look thrilled. Is homeboy having second thoughts? Ariela’s parents visit Ethiopia and Father Ari seems shocked that it’s a third-world country. We wonder if he knows how to use Google. They’re ready to start chipping in on the bills, but not before they tell Biny that he shouldn’t do what he loves, because he can’t support his daughter in the style to which she is accustomed. Again, Dad—Google is your friend. It’s not like there’s a booming tech market in Ethiopia and you knew he wasn’t a damn lawyer. We’re shocked that Yazan wasn’t more pissed off when he shows up to pick up Brittany and Angela and they’re effing WASTED. He’s so eager to win her back that he doesn’t even get pissed when she cuts off a lock of his hair. But the next day, he takes back what he said about being willing to wait a year to get married. Cheesedick and Melyza are a waste of screen time—prove us wrong. Kenny and Armando are still our faves, but not as much as Daughter Hannah, who understands better than anyone that love is love. In South Korea, Elicia is on her way for the wedding, and it’s making Jihoon incontinent. We’d feel the same way. She’s terrifying. Rate! Review! Subscribe! Share!

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#106, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Season 1, Ep. 1: Welcome to Salt Lake City! Nov 13, 2020

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Welcome to RHOSLC with Stacy and Jordan! The Mormon capital brings us the most diverse Housewives cast ever, with Tongan, African-American, Jewish and Muslim cast members lighting up the screen. We have all the Botox, narcissism, garish designer clothes, and male strippers that we expect and need, PLUS Utah's Favorite Son, Brooks, and Bravo's first ever... Grandma-Wife? Granddaughter-Wife? What do we call Mary? Salt Lake does not disappoint!

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#105 90 Day Fiancé The Other Way, Season 2, Ep. 19: Listen To Your Mother! Nov 11, 2020

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This season of 90 Day Fiancé the Other Way makes the Americans look even more embarrassing than usual, which is saying a lot. Brittany thinks that Jordan is the perfect place for a girls’ trip, so she and her bestie Angela head to the marketplace, flashing lots of boob and toe cleavage. Girl, Yazan is already getting death threats...give that poor fool a break. Ariela and Binyam just refuse to lighten the mood. Ariela has reached full-tilt paranoia and is looking through Biny's phone for recipients of his ass-bongo treatment. Unclear whether she finds anything, but it seems apparent that this relationship is headed for dramatic self-destruction (and we’re here for it). Neither Deavan nor Melyza can move their faces, which is suspicious, since they’re both too young for botox. (That said, we are sincerely sorry about Deavan's miscarriage.) Mother Cheesedick arrives in Colombia and the passive aggression is palpable. Meanwhile, Jenny and Sumit are spending their time playing some kind of undefined paddle sport in their apartment, trying to get through lockdown. They think it’s going to be extended for two weeks. If you only knew, kids. Warning: this episode is more offensive than usual, so don’t let your toddlers listen. Stay safe, people, and we’ll see you back here next week!

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#104 Below Deck Med, Season 8, Ep. 2: There's No Crying in Yachting Nov 10, 2020

Show notes

Jen is literally drinking SKITTLES-INFUSED straight rum…that should tell you a lot about what’s in store for you on this episode! (And you thought that Brianna was the degenerate.) But now that we mention it, Jen’s liquor goes pretty well with the neon-themed dinner party on Below Deck this week. Poor Captain Lee is recovering from broken ribs, and now he has to deal with bears trying to f*ck a football and a sobbing chief stew. (Don’t worry, we didn’t understand that metaphor, either.) At least he’s not on service with Charley and his evil friends, who are never getting an invite to a Kiki and Kibbitz party. We’re glad that this was a light episode, because the world is too serious right now. So lift your glass, you yo-ho-hos, sit back, and take a minute! Once you’re good and lit, leave us a voice message at https://anchor.fm/kikiandkibbitz/message. Maybe we’ll play it on next week’s episode!

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#103 Below Deck, Season 8, Ep. 1: There's No Place Like Home Nov 04, 2020

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O Captain, our Captain! He’s baaackkkk and he needs his pants creased a certain way and his goddamn Cheerios properly prepared — got it? We kick off the episode with Captain in the hospital after falling in the shower. Eddie channeled our own anxiety … we can’t lose him, too! Izzy doesn’t know how to make an espresso martini, which should warrant immediate dismissal. At least she gets punished with a face full of bidet water. Rachel the chef — whose Louis Vuitton bag, phone, and keys were stolen in the supermarket — promises to be an amusing watch. We can smell the shenanigans brewing in the galley. We’re already one deckhand down, so the drama has begun. The Bravoverse is having a bit of a tough time adjusting to the absence of our gorgeous, snarky Kate Chastain. Chief Stew Francesca is giving us major Hannah Ferrier vibes, which is triggering even more mourning. Change is hard. However, no matter WHAT, we’re so glad to have a break from Captain Lurk from Below Deck Med, right? Leave us a voicemail and let us know what you think! https://anchor.fm/kikiandkibbitz/message

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#102 90 Day Fiancé the Other Way, Season 2, Ep. 17: Are You Done Yelling? Nov 03, 2020

Show notes

From the 30-thousand-foot view, you could sum up this week’s episode of 90 Day Fiancé as “Mama Culture ain’t having your privilege.” All of the Americans are running up against major obstacles in their host countries…and losing. Brittany can’t understand that she can’t be with Yazan AND be a porn star/cam girl/rapper/whatever she is. Kenny is, sadly, facing the fact that gay rights in Mexico are a good five years behind the United States. Jenny is about to get a dose of reality after she realizes that there’s no way Sumit’s dad is going to say yes to their marriage…the list goes on. Sadly, we’re back to circumcision-gate this week, and it’s just as painful as last week. Jihoon’s got porn on his phone, and his friends have his back. Cheese Dick and Melyza are…well, who cares. Shout out to @Stellaspills! Thanks for the voice message!--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kikiandkibbitz/message

#101 BONUS EPISODE, featuring Courtney Skippon, Below Deck Stew Nov 01, 2020

Show notes

We're so excited for the new season of the original Below Deck, and to get you as hyped as we are we're bringing you a bonus episode with last season's third stew Courtney Skippon. Don't let the RBF fool you, she's as sweet as she is funny and she's got loads of behind the scenes information that any true fan would want to hear. Check it out, and don't forget to tune in for our weekly podcasts throughout the season!

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#100 Below Deck Med, Season 5, Reunion Part 2, featuring Chief Stew Adrienne Gang! Oct 28, 2020

Show notes

Ahoy there, maties! All aboard for the final episode of Below Deck Med Season 5! This week, we’re excited to welcome back the legendary OG of the Sea — our favorite guest Yo-Ho-Ho, Adrienne Gang! Adrienne was the first Chief Stew of the Below Deck franchise and was instrumental in the show’s conception. She’s full of behind-the-scenes scoop on the cast, Maritime Law, the very real need for Valium on board, and a host of strong (hilarious) opinions. We discuss how Captain Sandy and Malia sleep on a bed of lies, applaud Jess for telling those beasts to shut up and let someone else talk, and confirm that Rob is a roach and an affront to the human race. Let’s be real — we’re seasick as hell from this season and are happy it’s over. Join us this weekend for an exclusive interview with Below Deck Third Stew, Courtney Skippon…and get ready to kick off a new season of Below Deck classic, returning next week. See you then!

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#99 90 Day Fiancé The Other Way, Season 2, Ep. 19: Bris-fully Ignorant Oct 28, 2020

Show notes

It’s Brad’s birthday and we’re gonna party like it’s a newborn’s first day home from the hospital (minus the sheep slaughter)! Whereas the fun of 90 Day Fiancé OG is watching bewildered foreigners be like fish out of water in the USA, The Other Way showcases the true obnoxiousness of the American people (your humble podcast hosts included). We will come to your country, flout your customs, reject your guacamole, and vomit at your sidewalk animal sacrifices. And that was just this episode! It’s hard to choose which American was most embarrassing on this episode — Ari, forcing Biny to walk home with the baby in the thousand-degree heat? Jenny, trying to give Sumit a ring before he’s divorced? Kenny, for jumping all over Armando for buying his kid a few bows and a snow cone? Deavan with her immature wedding fantasies? Brittany with her…well, just her everything? So. Many. Choices. We’ll let you decide. Tweet us at @KikiandKibbitz and let us know what you think. Feliz cumpleaños, Brad!

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