Kicking and Screaming Podcast

Latest Episodes:

The Exorcist and Ninja 3: The Domination w/ Sapphire Sandalo Apr 30, 2021

Show notes

In an episode we’re extremely possessive of, special guest Sapphire Sandalo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for all-time classic The Exorcist. After waxing about their relationships with religion and faith, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another classic tale of possession, Ninja 3: The Domination. But can a movie about ninjas and dance aerobics truly match one of the most iconic masterpieces of horror cinema? What is the least sexy liquid? And do your hosts believe in ghosts? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Exorcist and Ninja 3: The Domination is pea soup washed down with a V8 juice.

This episode was not brought to you by V8.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns Apr 23, 2021

Show notes

In this skinny double-feature, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of his childhood favorites, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. After lusting after Viggo Mortensen (and his jeans), Elijah counters with a film from the very short list of martial arts slasher flicks, Human Lanterns. But can any martial arts movie match the unhinged ferocity of The Family? How did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 cause baby Elijah to embarrass his family? And who is the dumbest protagonist in Kicking and Screaming history?

The official snack pairing for Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns is chicharrones and crepes.

This episode was brought to you by severe technical difficulties.

Evil Dead (2013) and Broken Path (AKA Broken Fist, AKA Attack Of The Yakuza) w/ DeVaughn Taylor Apr 16, 2021

Show notes

In this gritty reboot of an episode you loved growing up, special guest DeVaughn Taylor challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the best horror reboots of the decade, Evil Dead (2013). After lamenting the extended Necronomicon-verse that could have been, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the relentlessly paced Broken Path (AKA Broken Fist, AKA Attack Of The Yakuza). But what does this obscure low-budget martial arts movie have in common with a modern horror masterpiece? Would Elijah read from the Necronomicon? And what is Vanessa’s ranking of all the A Star Is Born movies?

The official snack pairing for Evil Dead (2013) and Broken Path is a big turkey leg from specifically Six Flags, and a cherry slushie spiked with sake.

This episode was brought to you by turkey carvers.

The Protector (2005) and The Long Weekend (1978) Apr 09, 2021

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In this animal-loving episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for what is easily the best martial arts movie about a man trying to find an elephant, The Protector. After finally determining her favorite animal at a truly unfortunate time, Vanessa counters with another movie about the dangers of interfering with animals, Long Weekend. But how can a slow-burn relationship drama/psychological horror hold up to a bone-crushing masterpiece of Muay Thai? What’s the greatest single take in all of film? And does Vanessa have rabies? The answers to all of these and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Protector and Long Weekend is animal crackers and a hardboiled egg that you dye red.

This episode was brought to you by the sort of manic energy you get when you’re doing something you love for the first time in a while.

3 Ninjas and The Witches w/ BJ Colangelo Apr 02, 2021

Show notes

In this still-probably-not-kid-friendly episode, special guest BJ Colangelo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for possibly the most 90s movie ever made: 3 Ninjas. After obsessing over a deeply inappropriate sound-effect, Vanessa and Elijah counter with a classic of children’s horror, The Witches. But what do witches actually have in common with ninjas? What movies terrified Vanessa as a child? And what can modern Hollywood action directors learn from 3 Ninjas?

The official snack pairing for 3 Ninjas and The Witches is pizza and mysterious gold-wrapped chocolate bars.

This episode was brought to you Anjelica Huston's wig.

Pumpkinhead and The New Legend Of Shaolin w/Andrew Bowser Mar 26, 2021

Show notes

In this vengeful episode, special guest Andrew Bowser challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the greatest creature features of all time: Pumpkinhead. After getting to the heart of what makes Pumpkinhead so effective, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absolutely bonkers Jet Li classic, The New Legend Of Shaolin. But can a movie this goofy truly pair with the bleak tale of grief and vengeance that is Pumpkinhead? What did Andrew Bowser think of his first kung fu movie? And is Vanessa going to marry Red Bean?

The official snack pairing for Pumpkinhead and The New Legend Of Shaolin is candy pumpkins that you clumsily try to eat with a big pair of metal claws.

This episode was brought to you by a love of 80s horror. And SPEAKING OF our love for classic horror, please support Andrew Bowser’s feature film Kickstarter at www.onyxthemovie.com

House (1977) and Shaolin Drunkard w/ Emma Cogan Mar 19, 2021

Show notes

In this surreal episode, special guest Emma Cogan challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the Japanese psychedelic odyssey that is House (1977). After fawning over Blanche the evil cat, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absurdist oddity Shaolin Drunkard. But can anything measure up to the singular vision of a movie where a girl named Melody is eaten by a piano? What do the watermelons represent? And what is Vanessa’s history with the toad demon?

The official snack pairing for House and Shaolin Drunkard is watermelon and wine that you drink out of a tiny cannon.

This episode was brought to you by a melting clock.

People Under the Stairs and Iron Monkey Mar 12, 2021

Show notes

In this episode that was stolen from a wealthier podcast, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for The People Under The Stairs, a classic horror story about the scariest thing of all: The obscenely wealthy. After crying for the first time on the podcast, Elijah counters with another tale of stealing from the rich to give to the masses, Iron Monkey. But can a movie without even a single cannibal match up to The People Under The Stairs? Has Vanessa ever gotten so high that she bombed on stage? And can billionaires enjoy horror movies? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The People Under The Stairs and Iron Monkey is s’mores that you make with chocolate coins.

This episode was brought to you by a contempt for the ultra-wealthy. Link to donate to Wor Watthana Muay Thai gym: https://www.worwatthana.com/

Wheels On Meals and Blood And Black Lace Mar 05, 2021

Show notes

In this mysterious episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for his favorite Jackie Chan film, the frustratingly titled Wheels On Meals. After talking about Elijah’s time as a boy detective, Vanessa counters with the unparalleled vibes of the giallo classic Blood And Black Lace. But can she convince Elijah that a movie with no food trucks, skateboarding, or kickboxing is truly a match for Wheels On Meals? Are Vanessa and Elijah wealthy fat cats? And why do Osmosis Jones and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes work so well together? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Wheels On Meals and Blood And Black Lace is a food truck hamburger with too much ketchup on it.

This episode was brought to you by a mysterious inheritance.

Bride of Chucky and Heroes of the East Feb 26, 2021

Show notes

In this dearly beloved episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the self-aware slasher masterpiece, Bride of Chucky. After reminiscing on why he didn’t get invited to many sleepovers as a kid, Elijah counters with another tale of newly wedded mayhem, Heroes of the East. But how much can a story about clashing martial arts styles have in common with killer dolls? Which co-host is better at throwing secret darts? And who invented the three-section staff? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Bride of Chucky and Heroes of the East is Swedish meatballs with Chinese 5-spice and miso paste.

This episode was brought to you by severe exhaustion.