Kicking and Screaming Podcast

Baby Assassins & Tragedy Girls Sep 13, 2022

In this adolescent episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing to Baby Assassins, which is unfortunately not set in the Boss Baby cinematic universe. After revealing a little too much about how she "played" with Barbies as a child, Vanessa counters with another top-notch tale of teenage terrors: Tragedy Girls. But how much does a slasher have in common with an assassin? Why do Vanessa and Elijah always pretend that the titles of the movies are a surprise? And which animals could Elijah confidently Judo throw? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Baby Assassins and Tragedy Girls is instant ramen and spiked prom punch.

This episode was brought to you by teen angst.

(This episode is also brought to you by our editing software not working)

Basket Case & Double Impact Aug 29, 2022

In an episode that was surgically removed from its larger twin, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing to the body horror masterpiece Basket Case. After explaining why Belial is his brother, Elijah counters with the twin Van Damme-sterpiece that is Double Impact. But after an extended hiatus, will Vanessa and Elijah remember how to host the show? Is it possible to have too much Van Damme? And how did Vanessa and Elijah spend their break from the show? Find the answers to all these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Basket Case and Double Impact is a double-double with Mike & Ike’s.

We’re back, baby.

Fist Of Legend & La Llorona (2019) Mar 24, 2022

In an episode passed on through generations by word of mouth, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for one of the greats of martial arts cinema, Fist Of Legend. After being utterly derailed by a cat, Vanessa counters with Jayro Bustamante's La Llorona (2019). But what does a vengeful spirit have in common with a martial arts hero? How much will Vanessa cry in this episode? And is it the La Llorona you're thinking of? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Fist Of Legend and La Llorona is sopa mein.

This episode was brought to you by undercranking.

Censor & Harakiri Mar 17, 2022

In this flashback-heavy episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for recent horror favorite Censor. After Vanessa recovers some previously-censored memories of her own, Elijah counters with one of the greatest samurai films of all time: Harakiri. But what does the tragic tale of a down-on-his-luck ronin have to do with a British film censor in the 1980s? Is the world bleaker than ever, or is there cause for optimism? And what games has Vanessa been playing lately?

The official snack pairing of Censor and Harakiri is s’mores.

This episode was brought to you by class solidarity.

The Red Wolf and Deep Rising Mar 09, 2022

In this seafaring episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for Yuen Woo Ping's Red Wolf. After firmly establishing that xylophones are not villainous, Vanessa counters with another tale of death on the high seas: Deep Rising. But besides their nautical settings, how much do these two films really have in common? How are Vanessa and Elijah planning to pay for their new editing equipment? And what's the most cursed Air BnB Vanessa has ever stayed at? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion. The official snack pairing of Red Wolf and Deep Rising is baked Alaska with calamari. This episode was brought to you by Goldie the orb weaver.

My Bloody Valentine 3D & True Legend Mar 03, 2022

In an episode best listened to while wearing 3D glasses, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing to the, we’ll say it, underrated slasher My Bloody Valentine 3D. After offering to accept any and all challenges to a pickaxe fight, Elijah counters with a film he specifically had underrated: True Legend. But what does the origin story of a martial arts folk hero have in common with a massacre in a mining town? What was Vanessa’s earliest intrusive thought? And when are we finally going to get the #VanessaCut? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of My Bloody Valentine 3D and True Legend is a heart-shaped box of liquor-filled chocolates and you have to eat the whole thing in one sitting and then drunk-text someone.

This episode was brought to you by executive dysfunction.

Furie & Friday the 13th Feb 01, 2022

In an episode with strong maternal instincts, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for Vietnamese actioner Furie. After establishing that Vanessa has finally entered the “annoying” stage in her journey as a fan of martial arts movies, Vanessa counters with the slasher titan that is Friday the 13th. But what does the summer camp slasher have in common with Furie? Why has it taken so long for them to cover a Friday the 13th movie? And does Pamela Voorhees have superpowers?

Get the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing of Furie and Friday the 13th is s’mores made with fancy Vietnamese chocolate. (Probably the brand Marou, which Vanessa and Elijah discovered only after recording)

This episode was brought to you by hard-working single moms who do it all.

Black Dynamite and The Editor Jan 26, 2022

In an episode that also serves as a loving parody of previous episodes of this podcast, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for one of his most-quoted films of all time: Black Dynamite. After talking for longer than you’d expect about boomerangs, Elijah counters with another one of his most-quoted films of all time: The Editor. But can anything really measure up to Black Dynamite? Is Malignant a giallo? Will their cat Kyle successfully stop the recording? Get the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing of Black Dynamite and The Editor is a waffle in the style of a zeppole and, regrettably, malt liquor mixed with espresso AKA “Homemade Four Loko”

This episode was brought to you by boomerangs.

Avengement and Green Room Jan 11, 2022

In this landmark episode, Vanessa and Elijah cover their first ever listener-submitted double-feature. First up is the fantastically-titled Scott Adkins actioner Avengement. After cursing our reality for being one in which Scott Adkins is not the most successful actor alive, Vanessa and Elijah move on to its perfect horror pairing, (which just so happens to be one of the greatest horror films of the decade) Green Room. How much does a horror movie about punks fighting neo-Nazis have in common with Scott Adkins spin-kicking mobsters? Why are specifically jiu-jitsu guys always looking for a fight? And if Vanessa's such a tough guy, why does Elijah want to kiss her so bad? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week's double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing of Avengement and Green Room is a spiral-cut hot dog topped with pickled egg.

This episode was brought to you by friend of the podcast and all around rad person Gareth (@WoodsRunning) who submitted this week's picks!

The Wolf of Snow Hollow & Brotherhood of the Wolf Jan 04, 2022

In this howlin' good episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for what is almost definitely the best werewolf New Year's movie, The Wolf Of Snow Hollow. After firmly establishing that Officer John Marshall is not a great guy, Elijah counters with another tale of a small town in the throes of lycanthrope violence, Brotherhood Of The Wolf. But how much does this French period piece really have in common with The Wolf Of Snow Hollow? What are the werewolves metaphors for? And which actor made Vamessa turn into a (horny cartoon) wolf herself? Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of The Wolf Of Snow Hollow and Brotherhood Of The Wolf is Moon Pies and jerky.

This episode was brought to you by The Committee For Better Werewolf Martial Arts Films.

The Sword Of Doom and The Ritual Dec 28, 2021

In an episode that serves primarily as a character study of its two hosts, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for grim samurai masterpiece The Sword Of Doom. After comparing the protagonist to Pinhead, Vanessa pulls a wildcard and pairs it not with Hellraiser, but with The Ritual. But what does being lost in the woods have in common with the journey of a heartless swordsman? What makes David Bruckner's horror so effective? And how did Vanessa land on "Samu-rye"? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Sword Of Doom and The Ritual is hot sake and vodka, drunk alternately until you feel introspective.

This episode was brought to you by the cursed sword Elijah bought at a garage sale.

The Thing & New Dragon Gate Inn Dec 21, 2021

In an episode that may not be what it seems, Vanessa gives Elijah the unenviable challenge of finding the perfect martial arts movie to pair with John Carpenter's The Thing. After talking about what a hunk MacReady is, Elijah counters with New Dragon Gate Inn. But what does a wuxia film about a power-crazed eunuch have in common with alien shapeshifters? Is Antarctica a desert? And why does Vanessa keep coughing? Hear the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The unofficial snack pairing of The Thing and New Dragon Gate Inn is xiaolong bao, a dumpling that hides a soupy secret.

This episode was brought to you by fans of John Carpenter's Starman.

Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell & Let the Right One In Dec 13, 2021

In this seasonally affected episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the final entry in a classic samurai series, Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell. Vanessa counters with one of the best vampire films of the 2000s, Let the Right One In. But what do childhood romance and vampires have to do with the plight of a wandering swordsman? How does it feel to walk The Demon Way in Hell? And how prepared are your hosts to defend themselves from guard dogs? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell is onigiri stuffed with salted plum.

This episode was brought to you by the grim and inevitable passage of time.

Malignant and The One Nov 30, 2021

In an episode that is absolutely down with the sickness, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the most Kicking and Screaming movies of 2021, Malignant. After saying the words “backwards parkour” more times than you might expect, Elijah counters with the singularly bizarre early 2000s sci-fi actioner The One. But what do interdimensional doppelgangers have to do with Malignant? How many times did that doctor say “It’s time to cut out the cancer”? And what dubious distinction makes this pairing unique in Kicking and Screaming history? Hear the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Malignant and The One is red twin pops.

This episode was brought to you by nu-metal.

Throw Down and Opera Nov 25, 2021

In an episode with all the trimmings, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for that Thanksgiving judo classic, Throw Down. After discussing the three Fs of Kicksgiving (Family, Food, and Fighting), Vanessa counters with the giallo masterpiece Opera. But what does this tale of a cursed opera have in common with seedy judokas? Do crows really remember their enemies? And is Vanessa finally going to start doing judo? The answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Throw Down and Opera is a piece of burrata you throw onto the floor and then eat off of the floor while muttering dreamily about how you’re not like anyone else.

This episode was brought to you by the fighting spirit of Kicksgiving.

Pin and 18 Bronzemen Nov 21, 2021

In this shockingly lifelike episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the underseen direct-to-video gem Pin. After realizing a microphone wasn’t plugged in and losing half an hour of material, Elijah counters with a masterpiece of martial arts mannequins: 18 Bronzemen. But what do bronze shaolin mannequins actually have in common with an anatomical teaching aid? Does Pin feature the best boyfriend in horror history? And how quickly can Vanessa recap the half hour they lost? Find the answers to all of these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing of Pin and 18 Bronzemen is a cold glass of milk with bronze glitter poured in.

This episode was brought to you by latex flesh suits.

Drunken Master II and The Shining Nov 08, 2021

In this sobering episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the wine-soaked martial arts masterpiece that is Drunken Master 2. After some frank talks about addiction (Sorry, Grandma!), Vanessa counters with another all-time cinematic classic of violence and spirits, The Shining. But aside from their mutual love of a stiff drink, how much do Jack Torrance and Wong Fei Hung really have in common? Does alcohol make Elijah better at fighting? And is Vanessa really who she says she is? Hear the answers to all these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing of Drunken Master 2 and The Shining is drunken noodles and an unrelated side of french fries with ketchup. (Best served between 2 and 3am, somewhere between the bar and your house)

This episode was brought to you by Emilio.

Dude Bro Party Massacre III and Kung Fu Killer Oct 27, 2021

In an episode that is chock full of references to previous episodes of this podcast, Vanessa challenges to find the perfect martial arts pairing for what is easily the best third entry in a nonexistent trilogy, Dude Bro Party Massacre III. After reminiscing on their recent trip to Portland (and clarifying that Crows Zero and Kung Fu Hustle are also acceptable pairings), Elijah counters with a film that totally should have spun out into a trilogy, Kung Fu Killer. But how much does a series of martial arts duels really have in common with Motherface’s rampage? Why do your hosts sound particularly cozy? And what’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened at a film screening Vanessa has programmed? Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing of Dude Bro Party Massacre III and Kung Fu Killer is beer and Shin Ramyun Black.

This episode was brought to you by the city of Portland.

Dreadnaught and Halloween (1978) Oct 19, 2021

In this seasonal episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for the martial arts slasher Dreadnaught. After rebranding the podcast to a musical parody show, Vanessa counters with the blueprint, Halloween (1978). How much do White Tiger and Michael Myers have in common? Why do Vanessa and Elijah have such different perceptions of Michael Myers? And why does Vanessa keep moving away from the microphone? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Dreadnaught and Halloween (1978) is individually wrapped taffy served in a plastic jack-o’-lantern pail.

This episode was, unfortunately, not brought to you by Benihana.

The Mutilator (aka Fall Break) & Dragon (aka Wu Xia) Oct 04, 2021

In this fatherly episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing for a film that may have the catchiest theme song in slasher flick history, The Mutilator (aka Fall Break). After singing the chorus a few too many times, Elijah counters with Donnie Yen actioner Dragon (aka Wu Xia). But what does this noir-tinged kung fu throwback have in common with The Mutilator? Who is Vanessa’s preferred alternative to Chuck Norris? And what does Elijah’s mustache sound like? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of The Mutilator and Dragon is oyster shots with Sichuan chili crisp.

This episode was brought to you by complicated feelings towards father figures.

Executioners From Shaolin and Halloween (2018) w/ William Bibbiani Sep 24, 2021

In an episode that spans multiple generations (of runtime), special guest William Bibbiani challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for Shaw Brothers staple Executioners From Shaolin. After getting downright giddy that someone besides Elijah picked this movie, Vanessa and Elijah counter with 2018’s franchise reboot-quel, Halloween. But what does Michael Myers’ return to Haddonfield have to do with a story of Shaolin vengeance? Which character reminds Vanessa of her grandmother? Will your hosts find a way to once again mention both Freddy vs. Jason AND Kill Bill? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Executioners From Shaolin and Halloween (2018) is candy corn glazed chicken wings.

This episode was brought to you by The Justice for Ben Tramer Foundation.

The City Of Violence and Valentine Sep 17, 2021

In this mysterious double-feature, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for the South Korean martial arts noir film The City Of Violence. After lowkey trying to start a fight club, Vanessa counters with the early aughts slasher Valentine. But what does a holiday-themed slasher have in common with The City Of Violence? Who were Vanessa and Elijah’s grade school bullies? And what is the podcast’s new catchphrase? Find out, on this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of The City Of Violence and Valentine is chocolate liqueurs.

This episode was brought to you by Milhouse.

The Beyond and Zatoichi Meets The One-Armed Swordsman Sep 12, 2021

In this eye-catching episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the Italian gore classic The Beyond. After talking a bit too long about the part where a tarantula eats a guy’s tongue, Elijah decides to uphold the podcast’s long standing tradition of discussing sequels before originals whenever possible and chooses the twenty-second film in the Zatoichi franchise, Zatoichi Meets The One-Armed Swordsman. But what could these two swordsmen possibly have in common with a hotel built on a gate to hell? Is Elijah going to make good on his promise to eat every snack pairing? And why is Vanessa so fired up about a recent video game character reveal? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Beyond and Zatoichi Meets The One-Armed Swordsman is étouffée onigiri.

This episode was brought to you by the ancient art of sumo.

The Street Fighter and American Psycho Sep 03, 2021

Surprise! It's our 50th episode! And because we didn't realize it, we did nothing to acknowledge or celebrate that fact at the time of recording (No one was more surprised than us). So here is our standard, non-celebratory episode description: In this manly episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the Sonny Chiba classic The Street Fighter. After pulling Elijah back from a brief existential crisis, Vanessa counters with another tale of unchecked hyper-masculinity, American Psycho. But what does a Wall Street serial killer have to do with a karate mercenary? How did Elijah's grandma react to the scene with the grandpa in Texas chainsaw Massacre? And who is Vanessa going to be for Halloween this year? Find out, in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Street Fighter and American Psycho is a regular hot dog but it costs $80.

This episode was brought to you by the 49 episodes that came before it over the last 11½ months, and all of the amazing listeners who have kept us going. Thank you!

Slumber Party Massacre and Righting Wrongs w/ Alex Steed Aug 27, 2021

In this twisted episode (Get it? Twisted? Like a drill), special guest Alex Steed challenges Vanessa and Elijah to come up with the perfect martial arts pairing to subversive slasher classic Slumber Party Massacre. After finally unpacking some SUPER SUBTLE symbolism with the drill, Vanessa and elijah counter with Righting Wrongs, perhaps the only martial arts movie to also feature drill murder. But besides drills, do these films really have a connection? Why has it taken us this long to talk about Cynthia Rothrock? And is Slumber Party Massacre the representation we've been missing? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Slumber Party Massacre and Righting Wrongs is fish ball pizza.

This episode was brought to you by toy train tension.

Bloodsport and From Dusk Til Dawn Aug 20, 2021

In an episode that we hope will someday serve as a father figure to a hapless latchkey kid, Vanessa flips the script by challenging Elijah to find a horror pairing for the movie that made his father (Jean Claude Van Dad) a star, Bloodsport. After finally admitting that he only competed as a kickboxer in the hopes that it would make JCVD proud of him, Elijah counters with a film that was equally influential to Vanessa, From Dusk Till Dawn. But what does a bar full of vampires have to do with a kumite? What was young Vanessa’s most quoted line? And will this top the Lake Mungo/Day of Reckoning episode for Most Crying? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Bloodsport and From Dusk Till Dawn is apple pie.

This episode was brought to you by the outrageous lies of Frank Dux.

The Magnificent Butcher and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Aug 13, 2021

In this meaty episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing for Sammo Hung starring kung fu classic The Magnificent Butcher. After determining that The Magnificent Butcher is actually also a horror film, Vanessa counters with one of the greatest films of all-time, horror or otherwise: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. But aside from both featuring butchers, how much do these two films really have in common? Would Elijah rather meet Leatherface or his dad? And how does Sammo Hung remind Vanessa of Fran Drescher? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of The Magnificent Butcher and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is a whole jar of pickled pig’s feet.

This episode was brought to you by shameless thirst for Sammo Hung.

Waxwork and Gallants Jul 30, 2021

In an episode that's actually a loving homage to our Scream/Kung Fu Hustle episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of her all-time favorites, Waxwork. After dropping an absolute bombshell on Vanessa, Elijah counters with the underrated kung fu throwback Gallants. But what do aging martial artists have to do with Satanic wax monsters? Why is Waxwork so horny? And does Vanessa want you, the listener, to eat a slug? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion.

The snack pairing for Waxwork and Gallants is steak tartare with a duck egg.

This episode was brought to you by Vanessa's newscaster voice.

Slugs and Buddha's Palm w/ John-Michael Bond Jul 24, 2021

In this viscous episode, special guest John-Michael Bond challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the shockingly rad creature feature Slugs. After confirming that you should absolutely not watch Slugs while eating a salad, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the outrageous Shaw Brothers classic Buddha’s Palm. But how can a movie without a single slug possibly pair with, well, Slugs? What formative movies did cool video store clerks suggest to your hosts at impressionable ages? And what does John-Michael Bond’s dad think about the Fast and Furious franchise? Find the answers to all these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Slugs and Buddha’s Palm is escargot and jalapeno poppers.

This episode was brought to you by Zit Boy.

Urban Legend and John Wick Jul 17, 2021

In an episode that your cousin’s boyfriend swears can totally hear someone being murdered in the background of, Vanessa (sort of) challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing to the slasher gem Urban Legend. After reminiscing on a simpler time when we all found Jared Leto more palatable, Elijah counters with hugely influential action masterpiece John Wick. But how much does a gritty hitman actually have in common with a series of urban legend-inspired murders at a college? Is Brenda from Urban Legend one of the most underappreciated slasher villains of all-time? And does Elijah’s shirt have very complicated patterns? Find the answers to all these questions and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Urban Legend and John Wick is Blanton’s bourbon and cola in a glass rimmed with Pop Rocks.

This episode was brought to you by an unending affection for Brad Dourif.

Hydra and Blood Diner Jul 09, 2021

In an episode that never closes, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing to his favorite movie of the year, Hydra. After spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about Waffle House hash browns, Vanessa counters with the slapstick splatter classic Blood Feast. But can the absurdity of Blood Feast really pair with the slow-burn drama of Hydra? How can Elijah be this hyped about a movie that only has two fight scenes? And how does Vanessa take her hash browns? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Hydra and Blood Diner is a veggie burger with a tandoori sauce.

This episode is dedicated to Smear, the goodest boy.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and Sleeping Fist Jul 02, 2021

In this dreamy episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing to the all-time great slasher A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. After establishing that Vanessa is a real piece of work, Elijah counters with the sleep-fighting extravaganza Sleeping Fist. But does it pair as well as Avenging Eagle would have? What kill in Dream Warriors makes Vanessa squirm? And which of your hosts is the more capable sleep fighter? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors and Sleeping Fist is a glass of chardonnay and Nadiya Hussain’s beetroot feta pasta.

This episode was brought to you by the ghost of a circus child

The Avenging Eagle and Shaun of the Dead Jun 26, 2021

In an episode with a strong character arc, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the Shaw Brothers classic Avenging Eagle. After determining that any movie with a group of themed assassins slaps, Vanessa counters with the buddy horror zomcom classic, Shaun of the Dead. Is it a better pick than Elijah’s Nightmare on Elm Street suggestion? Why is Vanessa adapting the 2006 movie Smokin’ Aces into a graphic novel? And will this be the episode that ends Vanessa and Elijah’s marriage? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Avenging Eagle and Shaun of the Dead is Bugles and salted peanuts.

This episode was brought to you Vanessa’s commitment to a bit.

Lake Mungo and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning Jun 18, 2021

In an episode that absolutely demolishes the previous podcast record for “most on-air crying,” Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the mockumentary masterpiece of dread that is Lake Mungo. After determining that it’s worse to cry in an M&M store than a White Castle, Elijah counters with what is possibly the greatest 6th film in a franchise of all time, Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning. But what does a movie about bioengineered beefcakes have in common with a slow-burn story of a haunting? Why can’t Elijah say “Lake Mungo” in a normal voice? And does Vanessa remember your Twitter handle? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing for Lake Mungo and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning is a dirty martini on an empty stomach.

This episode was brought to you by profound sadness.

The Raid 2 and Kill List w/ Brea Grant Jun 11, 2021

In this testosterone-laden episode, special guest Brea Grant challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find a pairing for the epic action opus that is The Raid 2. After Elijah declares that it is quite possibly the greatest action movie of all time, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the slow-burn genre-bender Kill List. But besides brutal hammer-related violence, do these two movies really have anything in common? What is the logical conclusion to a life of unrestrained toxic masculinity? And what’s the worst movie to see on a first date? Get the answers to all these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The snack pairing for The Raid 2 and Kill List is griddled rabbit (with an additional vegan rabbit substitute option).

This episode was brought to you by cryptic symbols.

Chocolate and Orphan Jun 04, 2021

In an episode that we hope will age well, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the rough and tumble Muay Thai actioner Chocolate (2008). After talking a bit about problematic handlings of characters on the autism spectrum in media (yes, we’re once again looking at you, Cube), Vanessa counters with another movie about a deadly young girl, Orphan. Can Vanessa convince Elijah that this pairing works? Would Elijah accept his adopted child if they turned out to be a murderer?

And what is Vanessa’s equivalent of Popeye’s spinach? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Chocolate and Orphan is chocolate (duh) and red wine.

This episode was brought to you by Vanessa’s ability to “turn it on.”

Cobra Vs. Ninja and Leprechaun 3 w/ Joe Starr May 28, 2021

In an episode made primarily of audio stolen from other podcasts, special guest Joe Starr challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for the Godfrey Ho z-movie classic Cobra Vs. Ninja. After struggling to summarize the plot, Vanessa and Elijah retaliate with another sleazy story of bad bets and dirty money, Leprechaun 3. But all gambling aside, can you really compare a leprechaun to a ninja? How did Joe like his first Leprechaun film? And is Godfrey Ho actually an underrated genius? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Cobra vs. Ninja and Leprechaun 3 is gold-dusted chicken nuggets and a Big League Chew trading card.

This episode was brought to you by a CD-ROM that teaches you about cryptids.

Re-Animator and Versus May 21, 2021

In an episode that refuses to die, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a pairing for the immortal masterpiece that is Re-Animator. After getting a little more schmaltzy and romantic about Re-Animator than you might expect, Elijah counters with the pinnacle of stylishness, Versus. But what does an action movie about yakuza and escaped prisoners have to do with the greatest Lovecraft adaptation of all time? How did Elijah make a terrible impression with Stuart Gordon? And does Vanessa look really good in a Herbert West costume?

Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion! The official snack pairing for Re-Animator and Versus is a glowing green appletini and a skewer of chicken hearts.

This episode was brought to you by a sick-ass guitar riff.

Bushido Man and The Stuff May 14, 2021

In this appetizing episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the criminally underrated epic of arts both martial and gastronomical, Bushido Man. After some heated nunchuk debate, Vanessa counters with an equally filling flick: The Stuff. But can a movie so viciously unappetizing really pair with the deliciousness of Bushido Man? Which film’s protagonist is the stronger fighter? And what is a “burrito switch?” Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Bushido Man and The Stuff is halo-halo.

This episode was brought to you by our unending love for Jollibee.

Drive (1997) and The Hitcher May 07, 2021

In an episode best listened to in your car, the Kicking and Screaming format is broken for the first time when neither host challenges the other to find a double-feature pairing. Instead, both films were mutually agreed upon during a roadtrip: Drive (1997) and The Hitcher (1986). Vanessa and Elijah discuss why Drive is one of the most underrated buddy movies of all time, queer subtext in The Hitcher, and why we’ve become the official podcast of congratulating Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song on their newborn son.

The official snack pairing for Drive and The Hitcher is a cheeseburger with finger fries and a milkshake in a rocket cup.

This episode was brought to you by Mark Dacascos’s captivating musical number.

The Exorcist and Ninja 3: The Domination w/ Sapphire Sandalo Apr 30, 2021

In an episode we’re extremely possessive of, special guest Sapphire Sandalo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for all-time classic The Exorcist. After waxing about their relationships with religion and faith, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another classic tale of possession, Ninja 3: The Domination. But can a movie about ninjas and dance aerobics truly match one of the most iconic masterpieces of horror cinema? What is the least sexy liquid? And do your hosts believe in ghosts? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Exorcist and Ninja 3: The Domination is pea soup washed down with a V8 juice.

This episode was not brought to you by V8.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns Apr 23, 2021

In this skinny double-feature, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of his childhood favorites, Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. After lusting after Viggo Mortensen (and his jeans), Elijah counters with a film from the very short list of martial arts slasher flicks, Human Lanterns. But can any martial arts movie match the unhinged ferocity of The Family? How did Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 cause baby Elijah to embarrass his family? And who is the dumbest protagonist in Kicking and Screaming history?

The official snack pairing for Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 and Human Lanterns is chicharrones and crepes.

This episode was brought to you by severe technical difficulties.

Evil Dead (2013) and Broken Path (AKA Broken Fist, AKA Attack Of The Yakuza) w/ DeVaughn Taylor Apr 16, 2021

In this gritty reboot of an episode you loved growing up, special guest DeVaughn Taylor challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the best horror reboots of the decade, Evil Dead (2013). After lamenting the extended Necronomicon-verse that could have been, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the relentlessly paced Broken Path (AKA Broken Fist, AKA Attack Of The Yakuza). But what does this obscure low-budget martial arts movie have in common with a modern horror masterpiece? Would Elijah read from the Necronomicon? And what is Vanessa’s ranking of all the A Star Is Born movies?

The official snack pairing for Evil Dead (2013) and Broken Path is a big turkey leg from specifically Six Flags, and a cherry slushie spiked with sake.

This episode was brought to you by turkey carvers.

The Protector (2005) and The Long Weekend (1978) Apr 09, 2021

In this animal-loving episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for what is easily the best martial arts movie about a man trying to find an elephant, The Protector. After finally determining her favorite animal at a truly unfortunate time, Vanessa counters with another movie about the dangers of interfering with animals, Long Weekend. But how can a slow-burn relationship drama/psychological horror hold up to a bone-crushing masterpiece of Muay Thai? What’s the greatest single take in all of film? And does Vanessa have rabies? The answers to all of these and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The Protector and Long Weekend is animal crackers and a hardboiled egg that you dye red.

This episode was brought to you by the sort of manic energy you get when you’re doing something you love for the first time in a while.

3 Ninjas and The Witches w/ BJ Colangelo Apr 02, 2021

In this still-probably-not-kid-friendly episode, special guest BJ Colangelo challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for possibly the most 90s movie ever made: 3 Ninjas. After obsessing over a deeply inappropriate sound-effect, Vanessa and Elijah counter with a classic of children’s horror, The Witches. But what do witches actually have in common with ninjas? What movies terrified Vanessa as a child? And what can modern Hollywood action directors learn from 3 Ninjas?

The official snack pairing for 3 Ninjas and The Witches is pizza and mysterious gold-wrapped chocolate bars.

This episode was brought to you Anjelica Huston's wig.

Pumpkinhead and The New Legend Of Shaolin w/Andrew Bowser Mar 26, 2021

In this vengeful episode, special guest Andrew Bowser challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for one of the greatest creature features of all time: Pumpkinhead. After getting to the heart of what makes Pumpkinhead so effective, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absolutely bonkers Jet Li classic, The New Legend Of Shaolin. But can a movie this goofy truly pair with the bleak tale of grief and vengeance that is Pumpkinhead? What did Andrew Bowser think of his first kung fu movie? And is Vanessa going to marry Red Bean?

The official snack pairing for Pumpkinhead and The New Legend Of Shaolin is candy pumpkins that you clumsily try to eat with a big pair of metal claws.

This episode was brought to you by a love of 80s horror. And SPEAKING OF our love for classic horror, please support Andrew Bowser’s feature film Kickstarter at www.onyxthemovie.com

House (1977) and Shaolin Drunkard w/ Emma Cogan Mar 19, 2021

In this surreal episode, special guest Emma Cogan challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the Japanese psychedelic odyssey that is House (1977). After fawning over Blanche the evil cat, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the absurdist oddity Shaolin Drunkard. But can anything measure up to the singular vision of a movie where a girl named Melody is eaten by a piano? What do the watermelons represent? And what is Vanessa’s history with the toad demon?

The official snack pairing for House and Shaolin Drunkard is watermelon and wine that you drink out of a tiny cannon.

This episode was brought to you by a melting clock.

People Under the Stairs and Iron Monkey Mar 12, 2021

In this episode that was stolen from a wealthier podcast, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for The People Under The Stairs, a classic horror story about the scariest thing of all: The obscenely wealthy. After crying for the first time on the podcast, Elijah counters with another tale of stealing from the rich to give to the masses, Iron Monkey. But can a movie without even a single cannibal match up to The People Under The Stairs? Has Vanessa ever gotten so high that she bombed on stage? And can billionaires enjoy horror movies? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for The People Under The Stairs and Iron Monkey is s’mores that you make with chocolate coins.

This episode was brought to you by a contempt for the ultra-wealthy. Link to donate to Wor Watthana Muay Thai gym: https://www.worwatthana.com/

Wheels On Meals and Blood And Black Lace Mar 05, 2021

In this mysterious episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for his favorite Jackie Chan film, the frustratingly titled Wheels On Meals. After talking about Elijah’s time as a boy detective, Vanessa counters with the unparalleled vibes of the giallo classic Blood And Black Lace. But can she convince Elijah that a movie with no food trucks, skateboarding, or kickboxing is truly a match for Wheels On Meals? Are Vanessa and Elijah wealthy fat cats? And why do Osmosis Jones and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes work so well together? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Wheels On Meals and Blood And Black Lace is a food truck hamburger with too much ketchup on it.

This episode was brought to you by a mysterious inheritance.

Bride of Chucky and Heroes of the East Feb 26, 2021

In this dearly beloved episode, Vanessa challenges Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the self-aware slasher masterpiece, Bride of Chucky. After reminiscing on why he didn’t get invited to many sleepovers as a kid, Elijah counters with another tale of newly wedded mayhem, Heroes of the East. But how much can a story about clashing martial arts styles have in common with killer dolls? Which co-host is better at throwing secret darts? And who invented the three-section staff? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Bride of Chucky and Heroes of the East is Swedish meatballs with Chinese 5-spice and miso paste.

This episode was brought to you by severe exhaustion.

The Night Comes For Us and The Girl With All The Gifts w/ Rosie Knight Feb 19, 2021

In this precocious episode, special guest Rosie Knight challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing for the horrifyingly brutal martial arts masterpiece The Night Comes For Us. After being reminded of their own fragile mortality, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another cautionary tale about the dangers of taking care of children: The Girl With All The Gifts. But how much can a martial arts gangster story and a zombie movie really have in common? Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? And will Kicking and Screaming pair a Joe Taslim vehicle with a zombie movie three weeks in a row?

The official snack pairing for The Night Comes For Us and The Girl With All The Gifts is a porterhouse steak and a jawbreaker.

This episode was brought to you by box cutters.

Dawn of the Dead (2004) and The Raid: Redemption w/ Macaulay Culkin Feb 12, 2021

In this search engine optimized episode, special guest and America’s sweetheart Macaulay Culkin challenges Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the underrated remake Dawn of the Dead (2004). After finally figuring out what they recognized Mack from (his guest spot on Will & Grace), Vanessa and Elijah counter with one of the greatest martial arts films of the 21st century, The Raid: Redemption. But can a movie that doesn’t feature even one scene set in a shopping mall really pair with Dawn of the Dead? What is Macaulay Culkin’s zombie survival plan? And is Vanessa down with the sickness (ooh ah ah ah ah)?

The official snack pairing for Dawn of the Dead (2004) and The Raid: Redemption are a big turkey leg and an apple you eat with a knife.

This episode was brought to you by Mack’s desperate attempt to secure a Raid: Shadow Legends endorsement.

My Young Auntie and Ready or Not Feb 05, 2021

In this matrimonial episode, Elijah sets the Valentine’s Day mood early by challenging Vanessa to find the perfect horror pairing for the slapstick kung fu romance My Young Auntie. After saying “corn dog” a few too many times, Vanessa counters with the gleefully unhinged game of hide and seek that is Ready Or Not. But can two films with such disparate takes on romance really make a great match? Do all billionaires have corpse pits? And what is Eagle Garlic Chicken? Find out, in this newly wedded double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for My Young Auntie and Ready Or Not is a slice of wedding cake and Eagle Garlic Chicken.

This episode was brought to you by Kara Hui’s photographic reflexes.

5 Elements Ninjas and Thirteen Ghosts w/ Jon Gabrus Jan 29, 2021

In this 20th episode, special guest Jon Gabrus challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find a horror pairing for the over-the-top ninja epic 5 Elements Ninjas. After discussing Jon’s radical Tae Kwon Do shirt, Vanessa and Elijah counter with another bit of numerically named insanity, 13 Ghosts. But can any film measure up to one with so many ninjas? Will Elijah ever return to that Kali class? And will Kicking and Screaming finally pivot to being a full-time Matthew Lillard fan podcast? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official snack pairing for 5 Elements Ninjas and 13 Ghosts is gummy sunglasses and a peanut butter and (red) Kool-Aid smoothie.

This episode was brought to you by Jacked! A Cyberpunk Podcast. (For real, this time. We have our first sponsor!)

Hellraiser 2: Hellbound and Nine Demons Jan 22, 2021

**CONTENT WARNING FOR THIS EPISODE**: Elijah discusses a surgery he had, it’s pretty graphic. In this hellish episode, Vanessa gives Elijah the lofty task of finding the perfect martial arts pairing to the pinnacle of kinky cosmic horror genius Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. After going into some uncomfortable detail about why he relates strongly to the Cenobite with the throat wound, Elijah counters with the obscure supernatural kung fu flick 9 Demons. But can a film as singular as Hellbound truly have an equal? Is headgear cool? Should Elijah’s grandma skip this episode? Answers to all of these questions, plus Ted Lobster, in this demonic double-feature!

The official snack pairing for Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 and 9 Demons is chicharrónes (or potato skins) and Skull Pops.

This episode was brought to you by Elijah’s emergency tracheotomy.

Scream and Kung Fu Hustle w/ Dani Fernandez Jan 15, 2021

In this meta deconstruction of podcasts about horror and martial arts double-features, special guest Dani Fernandez challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect martial arts pairing to the meta slasher classic Scream. After scientifically determining that audiobooks actually count as double reading, Vanessa and Elijah counter with the slapstick martial arts masterpiece Kung Fu Hustle. Why are Wes Craven teenagers the best teenagers? What joke in Kung Fu Hustle does Dani wish she’d written? How did Vanessa find herself in a “Who’s on first?” situation?

The official snack pairing for Scream and Kung Fu Hustle is a bucket of meat and Neapolitan ice cream.

This episode was brought to you by strong Scorpio energy.

Return Of The 5 Deadly Venoms and Evil Dead 2 Jan 08, 2021

In this handcrafted episode, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a horror pairing to one of the best films to ever open with a child having his hands cut off: Return Of The 5 Deadly Venoms. After empirically proving that most grandparents are inferior to the Water World stage show, Vanessa counters with one of the greatest films to ever feature a wrist disarticulation: Evil Dead 2. Can a few disconnected hands connect these disparate films? How many times will Vanessa cry? And which of these films was crucial to Vanessa and Elijah’s first date? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing for Return Of The 5 Deadly Venoms and Evil Dead 2 is a turkey and cranberry sandwich that you slice with a chainsaw like an absolute maniac.

This episode was brought to you by a man gently tucking his exposed intestines back into his body.

The Last Dragon and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon w/ Danielle Radford Jan 01, 2021

In this loving homage to great episodes of podcasts, special guest Danielle Radford challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find a horror pairing to the martial arts musical extravaganza The Last Dragon. After learning what films Danielle uses to test people’s radness, they counter with the decidedly non-musical homage to all things slasher, Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon. But with The Last Dragon doing so much in so many genres, can any film truly be its equal? Why was Vanessa obsessed with Nikki Sixx? And is Elijah going to start an Ernie Reyes Jr. fanclub? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of The Last Dragon and Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon is a sliced up candy apple that you eat with chopsticks.

This episode was brought to you by The Glow.

Black Christmas (1974) and Lady Snowblood Dec 25, 2020

In this special holiday episode, Vanessa gives Elijah the greatest gift of all: She challenges him to find the perfect martial arts movie to complement the iconic holiday slasher Black Christmas. After they find possibly the most Kicking and Screaming actor of all time, Elijah picks the samurai revenge classic Lady Snowblood. Can a movie without a single Christmas light truly make for one half of the perfect holiday double-feature? How many Christmas puns can Vanessa make? And will Elijah be trapped in his puppet body forever?

The official snack pairing of Black Christmas and Lady Snowblood is convoluted nog and a cherry snow cone.

This episode was brought to you by holiday fear.

Bloodmoon (1997) and Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master Dec 18, 2020

This week's episode truly makes good on the podcast's name with two films that are both chock full of kicking and screaming, when Elijah challenges Vanessa to find a pairing for the martial arts slasher flick Blood Moon. After they crack the code to a perfect buddy cop movie, Vanessa picks the underrated-by-the-hosts A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master. Can she make a case for a film about a supernatural child killer pairing with a film featuring an antagonist who is decidedly not a child killer? Have Vanessa and Elijah been selling Dream Master short all these years? And how will Elijah eventually die? Find out, in this double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Blood Moon and A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is Bugles and a Paqui One Chip Challenge chip.

This episode was brought to you by a newspaper clipping of the word "VENGEANCE"

Murder Party and Duel to the Death Dec 11, 2020

This week’s exciting episode brings a showdown of sensationally titled flicks, as Vanessa challenges Elijah to find a martial arts pairing for the Halloween must-watch Murder Party. After relentlessly dissing obnoxious art scene kids (you know the type), Elijah settles on the equally blood-soaked Duel To The Death. What does a death duel have in common with a murder party? Do the films live up to their names? And how does Vanessa feel about cardboard? Get the answers to all these questions and so much more, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official movie snack pick of Murder Party and Duel To The Death is pumpkin bread and Nicos Choco Sticks Giant Chocolate Covered Biscuit Sticks, Popping Candy Flavor.

This episode was brought to you by an exploding ninja head.

Undisputed III: The Redemption and Cube Dec 04, 2020

In this low-budget, direct-to-video episode, Elijah finally gets a chance to talk about his heroes Scott Adkins, Micheal Jai White, and Marko Zaror in discussing the Undisputed franchise and challenging Vanessa to find a horror pairing for Undisputed III: Redemption. Finding a horror counterpart for a film that’s 90% fighting tournament proves a tall order, but Vanessa comes in swinging with the high-concept prison break horror masterpiece Cube. Will the two make for perfect cellmates? Which aspect of Cube has aged the most poorly? And is Dim Mak the deadliest martial arts style? All these answers and more in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack pairing of Undisputed III: Redemption and Cube is cheese cubes and instant noodles.

This episode was brought to you by the camaraderie of burly punch bros

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero and Elijah Taylor (Puppet)

Art: Joe Oliver

Music: Travis Clark

3 Dev Adam and Zombi 2 w/ Harmony Colangelo Nov 27, 2020

In this special Thanksgiving episode, neither of the films discussed are about Thanksgiving and the holiday is not mentioned, but one of the films is from Turkey so WE’RE COUNTING IT. Special guest Harmony Colangelo challenged hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find a horror pairing for the unlicensed Turkish action extravaganza 3 Dev Adam. Faced with the impossible task of finding the perfect horror pairing for a film that features evil Spider-Man, Captain America, and Elijah’s real dad (Mexican superstar and national treasure El Santo), they go with that other all-time great showdown in cinematic history, zombie vs. shark, in Zombi 2. But can anything truly compare to the highs of 3 Dev Adam? Why are the fights in 3 Dev Adam so good? And is Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island really the best zombie movie of the 90s? All these answers and so much more, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official movie snack pick of 3 Dev Adam and Zombi 2 is gummy sharks and one of those Spider-Man popsicles with the dumb melty face and the gumball eyes.

This episode was brought to you by shameless IP theft.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero and Elijah Taylor

Music: Travis Clark

Art: Joe Oliver

Better Watch Out and House of Traps w/ Zena Real Queen of Horror Nov 20, 2020

In this halfway-holiday-themed episode, special guest Zena Dixon lives up to her title as the Real Queen of Horror when she challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find a martial arts pairing for the perfectly unsettling Christmas horror film Better Watch Out. Elijah, meanwhile, has been champing at the bit to recommend House of Traps as a pairing for literally any film featuring any kind of trap. Will traps be a compelling enough argument to convince the Real Queen of Horror that this is a perfect double-feature? Did Better Watch Out ruin Christmas music for Vanessa? Will Elijah finally invest in a House of Traps style shirt with nipple windows? Find out, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official movie snack pick of Better Watch Out and House of Traps is a sharpened candy cane and fruitcake.

This episode was brought to you by a creeping sense of holiday cheer.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Rumble in the Bronx and Vampire in Brooklyn Nov 13, 2020

In their first episode after bringing Guest Month to a close, hosts Vanessa and Elijah must re-learn how to have a conversation with each other. Elijah finally rises to the challenge Vanessa issued to him way back in episode 2: Find a horror movie to pair with Rumble in the Bronx. He picks that other East Coast classic, Vampire in Brooklyn. It’s one of Vanessa’s favorites, but is “New York” a strong enough connection for these two to make for a great double-feature? Which movie has the better final fight? Can Vanessa and Elijah remember how to host without a guest? Answers to all of these questions, plus comments from listeners like you, in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official movie snack pick of Rumble in the Bronx and Vampire in Brooklyn is big pizza with rare steak.

This episode was brought to you by Arby’s.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

The Crow and Riki-Oh: Story of Ricky w/ Sabina Graves Nov 06, 2020

n this week’s episode of the newly titled Kicking and Scheming podcast, special guest Sabina Graves challenges our constantly-scheming hosts to find a martial arts pairing for the iconic Brandon Lee classic, The Crow. After coming to the long-overdue realization that The Crow absolutely slaps, Vanessa and Elijah counter with cult-favorite Story of Ricky.
Is Eric Draven actually a slasher villain? Which indestructible soft boy is the softest? Find out, when a horror movie with slick action meets an action movie with more gore than most horror flicks in this week’s double-feature discussion!
The official movie snack pick of The Crow and Story of Ricky is a very sloppy chili dog and an eyeball full of mints.
This episode was brought to you by Eric Draven shredding a sick-ass guitar solo.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Doctor Sleep and Encounters of the Spooky Kind w/ Olivia Haidar Oct 30, 2020

In an episode that may hold the current Kicking and Screaming record for “Most Tangents,” our hosts are joined by guest Olivia Haidar, who is extremely game to debate Pokemon: Detective Pikachu’s place in the neo-noir canon. After discussing Detective Pikachu (and Blade Runner: 2049), Olivia challenges our hosts to find a martial arts match-up for Doctor Sleep, AKA The Shining 2: Shine On. After discussing the complete works of Stephen King, Vanessa and Elijah counter with Sammo Hung’s supernatural cinematic classic, Encounters of the Spooky Kind. That’s right! In this week’s special Halloween episode, BOTH films are chock full of ghosts. Are there as many ghosts in this lengthy double-feature as there are tangents in this episode? Is Sammo Hung’s muscular butt enough for Kicking and Screaming to continue the trend of being horny on main? Is Pokemon: Detective Pikachu the best noir film of the decade? Find out, in this week’s extra-haunted episode!

The official snack of Doctor Sleep and Encounters of the Spooky Kind is Red Hots and xiao long bao, washed down with an O’Doul’s.

This episode was brought to you by a seance because we’ve been dead for six years.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Man of Tai Chi and Cheap Thrills w/ Jon Abrams Oct 23, 2020

Do you love Keanu Reeves? How about humility? If you answered yes to either, then you’ll love this week’s episode! When special guest Jon Abrams challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find a horror film to pair with underrated martial arts gem Man of Tai Chi, they must first admit to having overlooked Keanu Reeves for far too long. After an appropriate amount of time spent admitting their past failures, they make their case for Cheap Thrills as the perfect companion. Both films feature desperate men going down a dark path for the promise of easy money, but is that enough to convince Jon that it’s a perfect double-feature? Join the gang as they discuss why Keanu can sell absurdity so well, the dangers of not meditating enough, and ultimately, the thesis of this very podcast.

The official movie snack pick of Man of Tai Chi and Cheap Thrills is a ghost pepper you eat in a food challenge and a glass of water. (Optional: Chicken wings with edible gold leaf).

This episode was brought to you by the horrors of late-stage capitalism.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Police Story and Maniac Cop w/ Anna Valenzuela Oct 16, 2020

This episode opens with a Karate-based bluff that backfires almost immediately when this week’s special guest, Anna Valenzuela, reveals herself to actually be a skilled Karateka. After making it clear that she could kill them both if she so chose, Anna challenges hosts Vanessa and Elijah to find the perfect horror pairing to the Jackie Chan classic Police Story. Their selection of Maniac Cop proves once and for all that, while they may not be Karate masters, they are masters of the extremely niche skill of picking a horror movie that complements a martial arts movie pretty well. Is this the most obvious Kicking and Screaming pairing to date? Which film has the most terrifying stunts? And which of these two terrible cops is worse? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official movie snack pick of Police Story and Maniac Cop is donuts and a fistful of cold, greasy bacon.

This episode was brought to you by crime.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Mortuary and 8 Diagram Pole Fighter w/ Kelly Nugent Oct 09, 2020

In perhaps our thirstiest episode yet, hosts Vanessa and Elijah are joined by a special guest who crushes on young Bill Paxton just as hard as they do. Guest Kelly Nugent challenges our hosts to pick the perfect martial arts counterpart to the cult classic slasher flick Mortuary (AKA Embalmed, AKA Hall of Death). Elijah counters with kung fu masterpiece The 8 Diagram Pole Fighter (AKA The Invincible Pole Fighters, AKA Invincible Pole Fighter), making the seldom-used “poles and trocars are kind of similar” argument. But aside from both films having at least three titles, how much do they really have in common? How many times will our hosts say “trocar”? And just how sexy WAS young Bill Paxton? Find out in this week’s double-feature discussion!

The official snack picks of Mortuary and The 8 Diagram Pole Fighter are Pocky and sloppy-ass nachos.

This episode is brought to you by young Bill Paxton in a turtleneck.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Eraserhead and Lone Wolf and Cub w/ guest Michael Swaim Oct 02, 2020

In this landmark episode, Vanessa and Elijah are joined by their first-ever special guest! It's also the first episode that opens with an actual scream.
Special guest Michael Swaim challenges our hosts to find the perfect martial arts pairing for the surreal masterpiece of horror, Eraserhead. When they counter with the surreal masterpiece of martial arts, Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx, Michael contests that the films have nothing to do with each other!
Can our hosts convince him, or have they failed at their mission by episode 3? Is Eraserhead even a horror movie? Are all movies horror movies? Find out in this week's double-feature discussion. Plus, hear Michael Swaim officially solve Eraserhead with math!
The official movie snack pick of Eraserhead and Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx is a hot dog covered in peanut butter.
This episode was brought to you by a shrieking child.

Produced by: Sam Varella, Vanessa Guerrero, and Elijah Taylor

Music by: Travis Clark

Art by: Joe Oliver

Master of the Flying Guillotine and Halloween II Sep 25, 2020

After ruining Vanessa’s attempt to record room tone with a horrible slurping sound, Elijah challenges Vanessa to find the perfect horror movie pairing for the bizarre martial arts cult classic Master of the Flying Guillotine. Vanessa makes a strong case for the iconic slasher sequel, Halloween 2. But can a film without a single decapitation truly complement Master of the Flying Guillotine? What’s the most uncomfortable way Vanessa has ever described being aroused? And who is the most famous person that’s punched Elijah? All these answers and more, in this week’s double-feature discussion.

The official movie snack pick of Master of the Flying Guillotine and Halloween 2 is Caramel Apple Pops and Animal Crackers, which is awful.

This episode was brought to you by Elijah’s Tiny Li’l Bites.

The Guest and Return to the 36th Chamber Sep 18, 2020

If you manage to make it past the horrible Bane impressions up top, Vanessa and Elijah kick off their first double-feature with Vanessa's pick, The Guest. What has Elijah chosen to pair with it? Nothing other than that ShawScope classic, Return to the 36th Chamber. Both feature impostors and gorgeous set pieces but only one has an incredible Dan Stevens shirtless scene. Plus, Elijah has his mind blown when he realizes two actors he likes are the same dude and talks about his unfortunate run in with Pizzagaters, and Vanessa shares stories of the large snacks her mother snuck into the movies. The official movie snack pick of The Guest and Return to the 36th Chamber? Candy corn and Razzles. Tune in to find out why.

This episode was brought to you by the game they invented in quarantine madness: Lighter Fight.

Why Kung Fu and Horror? Sep 18, 2020

Not quite episode one but the pilot where hosts Vanessa Gritton and Elijah Taylor explain why they're doing this. Elijah and Vanessa cover everything from why they love both genres so deeply, why they're two great tastes that go great together, Elijah's podcasting debut with Macaulay Culkin, Vanessa getting dunked on by alleged friends, and video store memories.

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