Just Winging It

132 // Work-Life Boundaries Jul 03, 2022

What does a healthy work-life balance look like nowadays? With school out, and kids likely home more often with less structured time, the transition between work and home life can feel a lot more jarring.
John and Patrick check in about how they weave together work and home life without the physical boundaries of commuting into their workplace.

131 // Scheduling Activities Jun 05, 2022

As summer approaches and life has opened up again, the number of schedulable kids activities has shot back up. So how do we navigate which and how many activities to sign them up for now?
Patrick and John chat about how to avoid overscheduling their kids lives and why it's worth giving more thought to how we structure their time in the first place.

130 // How to COVID May 22, 2022

Yeah... we're tired of talking about COVID, too. But here it is. Despite the fact that we've pretty much all settled on it being a part of our normal life now, the balancing act of school, daycare, work, and keeping some sanity with COVID in the house is still a big deal.
John shares with Patrick the experience of catching COVID from his son and managing it in the household.

129 // Lost and Found Apr 24, 2022

It seems we're all entering a new chapter, where COVID has become integrated into society, and no longer overshadowing it. So looking back at the last two years, how have we grown as young(ish!) parents?
Patrick and John consider what they have lost and what they have found during this stretch, particularly when it comes to their ever-evolving identities.

128 // Dealing With Anger Apr 10, 2022

The role that anger plays in parenting is very real. And it's often laced with guilt when we know we're supposed to model calmness for our kids.
John and Patrick delve into how anger crops up for them and how they might have a healthier outlook on the emotion that deserves space and acceptance just like any other.

127 // This Is It Mar 13, 2022

So much of parenting focuses on raising future adults. And so much of our own energy is focused on producing a more desirable future rather than fully experiencing this moment. It's no wonder then, that time flies by.
Patrick and John pickup where they left off, digging further into "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals," by Oliver Burkeman to see if they can learn a thing or two about how to slow down, do less, and accept that this is it.

126 // Our Relationship With Time Feb 27, 2022

Much of our adult lives are focused on how best to manage time. But what if it's our perspective on time that's the real issue?
Patrick and John begin a multi-episode discussion on the notion that we've got it all wrong when it comes to managing our brief time on earth, as put forward by author Oliver Burkeman in his book, "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals."

125 // Enemy At The Gates Feb 13, 2022

January 2022 marked another turn in this rollercoaster pandemic, disorienting families across the US as school returned from the holiday break.
Now in February, John and Patrick return for their fifth season to take stock of the whirlwind start to the new year with childcare and school up in the air and COVID entering the home. Welcome back!

124 // Unwrapping 2021 Dec 19, 2021

The second year of the pandemic—and fourth season of Just Winging It—is coming to a close. As always, there's a lot to reflect back on.
Patrick and John unpack the various themes that emerged throughout the season and in their lives; from staying fit, mental health, cultivating independent thinking kids, and the various ways our lives have adapted to meet the moment.

123 // Practicing Music Nov 21, 2021

Most kids won't grow up to be professional musicians, but shouldn't every child get the chance to explore their ability to make music?
As a follow-up to their last episode on teaching music, John and Patrick welcome elementary school music teacher, Adam Shumate, to the show to share his journey into making and then teaching music. The dads dig deeper into how they might play some part in shaping their own kids' musical journey.

122 // Teaching Music Oct 17, 2021

When and how does a parent go about teaching kids how to make music? How can you tell whether your child has a knack for it?
Patrick and John discuss their very different backgrounds when it comes to making music and how that has informed their approach with their kids, including how they treat music around the house and the start of formal music lessons.

121 // Routines Oct 03, 2021

A new school year often comes with making and breaking routines, from morning to nighttime and everything in-between.
John and Patrick catch up on life during the first few weeks of the new school year; the start of sick days, disrupted sleep habits, getting out of the house in the morning, and the list goes on.

120 // Developing Emotional Intelligence Sep 19, 2021

How are you feeling? How honestly can you answer that question? All parents have been in the position of helping their kids manage emotions, but maybe we've still got some emotional intelligence to develop ourselves.
Patrick and John talk about research by Dr. Marc Brackett from Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence. Dr. Brackett advocates for a less judgmental and more inquisitive approach to probing into our feelings and learning to regulate them. Sure sounds like a useful parenting skill.

119 // Aligning to Another School Year Sep 05, 2021

We're once again entering the new school year. And to some extent, it seems we've come to terms with the reality of managing COVID through it.
John and Patrick orient themselves to the school year with some summer debriefing and looking ahead to the next year of their kids' development.

118 // Figuring Out Vacation Aug 08, 2021

Planning a vacation was tough enough in the before times. Now the choices we make about where to stay, how to get there, and what kinds of activities to do are infused with the uncertainty of the pandemic.
Patrick and John chat about their recent family vacations, how they managed the logistics, how great it felt to get away again, and how to plan the next one.

117 // Summer Outlets Jul 18, 2021

It's summer, when fun and emotions run high. What are the right outlets to focus all that free time into?
John and Patrick bring on Jake Robertson, father-of-two—including a newborn—to chat about summer, handling emotional outbursts, and whales.

116 // Holding Fear Jun 27, 2021

What does a healthy relationship with fear look like? How do we equip ourselves and our kids to work through fear and anxiety?
After the extended simmering anxiety through the pandemic, John and Patrick dig into how they might look at fear differently and some strategies for helping kids do the same.

115 // Learning How to Adult Again Jun 13, 2021

Remember what it was like to be an adult without kids around? It's easy to forget after a year and a half of relative social isolation. As a parent of young kids, time to be an adult with other adults was already rare.
Patrick and John bring Jeff Deutsch back onto the show to reflect on his transition from the carefree pre-kid years with his wife, to the shock of a newborn, to the emerging stability as a family unit. The dads examine how their identities as adults has transformed in the process.

114 // Re-entry May 30, 2021

The pandemic continues to abate in the US, now to the point where some degree of normalcy is sliding back in. What will the transition look like?
John and Patrick process the momentous re-entry stage they are now in as they are able to operate in the world again without masks and with a lot more people and plans, all the while still navigating life with kids who can't yet get vaccinated.

113 // Pandemic Baby May 16, 2021

Leaving the hospital with a new baby is already a surreal experience. Taking those steps out into a world where a pandemic was just declared brings a new level of intensity.
Patrick and John bring Ash Kosiewicz onto the show to share his experience over the last year as he and his wife brought their daughter into this new pandemic world. The dads reflect on the future of parental leave and childcare in a post-pandemic world.

112 // Putting Parenting Advice to the Test Apr 25, 2021

Reading great parenting advice is one thing; using that advice isn't as easy.
After exploring some ancient parenting techniques shared in "Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans" by Michaleen Doucleff in the last episode, Patrick and John chat about ways they've attempted to challenge themselves and adapt their style to test new (old) parenting practices.

111 // Rethinking Modern Parenting Apr 11, 2021

What if much of what we take for granted as parenting in the US is... wrong?
John and Patrick take a step back to consider how we even arrived at the modern day parenting playbook, and they dive further into the recent book, "Hunt Gather Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans" by Michaleen Doucleff to see what we have to learn from cultures that have kept up with ancient parenting techniques.

110 // A Healthy Dose of Risk-taking Mar 28, 2021

Some of our most basic parenting instincts focus on keeping children safe from danger. At the same time, in order to support our kids as they learn new skills we're often faced with the balancing act of introducing physical and mental risks.
Patrick and John bring back Peter from the Midwest to explore the calculated risks involved in raising well-rounded kids who can grow with confidence and deal with danger; whether learning how to ride a bike or skateboard or develop street smarts to navigate the world.

109 // The Battle to Raise Helpful Kids Mar 14, 2021

Why does so much of parenting feel like a battle of wills? Getting kids to contribute around the house—or even clean up their own mess—is a struggle amplified to greater volumes now that we've been stuck home for so much of the last year.
Thankfully, John and Patrick can tap a better resource then their own brains for this one. The new book, " Hunt Gather Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans" by Michaleen Doucleff could not have come at a better time. The dads dig into a few recent articles on the book to work through some new approaches they will undoubtedly report back on in future episodes.

108 // Dad Bod Feb 28, 2021

Alright, so there's staying healthy and then there's trying to look good as the years start adding up. But what does looking good even mean anyway?
Patrick and John bring on occupational therapist Joe Rich to share some tips and dig into what the heck we're all even trying to look like in the first place.

107 // Pandemic Pets Feb 14, 2021

Pet adoptions are skyrocketing during our pandemic lives. In households already occupied with raising little beings, the choice to add animals into the mix gets complicated. So what goes into making the decision to bring a pet into our families now?
John and Patrick reflect on their recent pet adoptions and add a bit of commentary on pet culture and animal ethics.

106 // Just Lifting It Jan 31, 2021

How are those new year exercise goals going? Just Winging It is back to lift you up! Or... maybe just to make you feel better about yourself?
Patrick and John kick off season four with physical therapist Denis Long to talk about how to setup and stick with a good exercise routine while dadding in 2021.

105 // Joy This Season? Dec 20, 2020

What. A. Damn. Year.
We're still adapting daily with the uncertainty of it all while also falling into all- too-familiar of a routine with life during the pandemic. What comes next?
Patrick and John close out 2020 and season three of Just Winging It considering how and where to find joy during these tough times, reflecting back all the way to episode 22 when they discussed The Book Of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama.

104 // The Feels Dec 06, 2020

The transition to the cold, dark months brings on some tough emotions even in a normal year. In this intense 2020, the impending winter feels particularly intense.
John and Patrick sort through the latest parenting challenges brought on by the pandemic, how they're feeling about the upcoming season, and the concept of adult pandemic tantrums. Yeah, it's a thing.

103 // Processing An Emotional Election Nov 15, 2020

The stakes for the 2020 US presidential election could not feel any higher. The results show a country torn in half. Where do we go from here?
Just a couple days after the election was called for Biden, Patrick and John process the emotional rollercoaster and grapple with what comes next for our country and for the way we parent through the sharp political divide that persists between us.

102 // Work From Home Dad Nov 01, 2020

Pandemic life has transformed our work and home lives for the indefinite future. With school back in session for several weeks now, a new rhythm is emerging.
John and Patrick talk specifically about their work from home setup; while their wives are out working, the two dads balance working from home with getting kids through hybrid school schedules and abrupt quarantines.

101 // In Touch With Nature Oct 18, 2020

One of the silver linings through this pandemic is the increased time we're all spending outdoors in nature. Isn't that where our children are supposed to spend their days anyway?
The famed Pete From the Midwest comes on to probe into the subject with Patrick and John, exploring how meaningful nature has been for them growing up and now—and how they've managed to promote the outdoors with their kids.

100 // Celebrating The Big One Hundred Oct 04, 2020

Just like that, we've been just winging it for 100 episodes. In case you missed it, a lot has happened over the last 2.5 years since the show began. But we're not here to talk about world events right now.
John and Patrick reflect back with listeners on the last 99 episodes; some of the funniest JWI moments, their favorite topics, and as a reminder of why the heck they're doing this in the first place.

Coming Soon - Episode 100! Sep 29, 2020

Can you feel the anticipation? Just Winging It will celebrate 100 episodes soon!

Send in your favorite Just Winging It moment--a time when you cry-laughed, had an aha moment, or simply smiled and nodded. Record your moment and email it to justwingingitdads@gmail.com so we can air it on our 100th episode and reflect back on our sheer brilliance.

99 // So It Begins Sep 13, 2020

Labor Day has passed, school is officially starting; so marks the transition from summer to what feels like a new year, and a new phase of life in a pandemic.
Patrick and John go deeper to explore the rewiring of our brains and our lives as we settle into our adapted lifestyles this school year.

98 // Emerging From The Chrysalis Aug 30, 2020

As the summer winds down, the reality ahead for families is sinking in. We're about to emerge from our relatively sheltered Spring and Summer to hunker down for school, work, and all that the Fall and Winter will bring. And maybe transform into something entirely new.
John and Patrick unpack the emotional toll of the pandemic during this transitional time of year.

97 // Back to... School? Aug 16, 2020

The Fall is approaching quickly and the reality of beginning a new school year amidst the pandemic is settling in.
Patrick and John work through what's on every school age parent's mind right now; how the heck is school going to work this year?

96 // Kids Birthday Parties (During the Apocalypse) Aug 02, 2020

Two years ago (episode 19), planning kids birthday parties was stressful enough. Somehow now with the pandemic backdrop, it has become both simpler and more complicated.
John talks Patrick through his daughter's week of birthday parties and their strategy to manage expectations with their kids, while still celebrating their big day with friends and family.

95 // Change Is In The Air Jul 19, 2020

The pace and scale of change around us is without precedent in our lifetime. So it's no surprise that change is manifesting in all sorts of ways, big and small, in our families.
John and Patrick chat about some of the latest changes in their households, including a transition back to daycare, a new dog, and the beginning of a new career.

94 // Rediscovering Outdoor Activities Jul 05, 2020

Getting outside with our families has been more important than ever. So why not take the time to teach our kids—and ourselves—some new outdoor activities?
Patrick and John share their latest outdoor discoveries as they keep on working through how to take advantage of all this extra time with the kids.

93 // The Neverending Home Projects Jun 21, 2020

From the moment you move into a new home, the projects begin and never stop. With all this extra time at home now during the pandemic, it seems the projects have multiplied.
John and Patrick celebrate Father's Day with a chat about their home improvement ups and downs. Let's be honest, mostly downs. Happy Father's Day!

92 // Showing Up For Black Lives Matter Jun 07, 2020

A spark has ignited across the country as we slowly climb out of the pandemic while facing head on a crisis that continues to plague the US: the oppression of black people.
Patrick and John work through how to show up meaningfully and helpfully in this moment as two white men. Most important, they want to listen and amplify black voices. Founder and co-host of the Perfect Organism podcast, Jaime Prater, joins to share some of his experience growing up holding dual identities, black and white, and to reflect with John and Patrick on the significance of this moment in the fight for racial justice.

91// New Beginnings May 24, 2020

Spring is peaking, the pandemic curve is sloping down, and we're all gradually emerging to figure out our new reality.
That new reality for Patrick and his family includes a new house in new state. He and John chat about the big move, what it has been like to transition homes at this particular moment, and how we're all feeling some sense of new beginnings.

90 // Just Zooming It May 10, 2020

We meant it when we said it's important to check in with each other during this time of insanity. John and Patrick bring on a group of listeners for a Zoom roundtable on how we're all managing life during a pandemic.

89 // Preparing For The Long Haul May 03, 2020

The school-year is officially canceled. Daycare is closed for a couple more months. What has felt temporary, is now settling into something more.
Patrick and John dig into what it's going to take to prepare for this longer-than-expected episode of life.

88 // Relearning How to Get Stuff Done Apr 19, 2020

As we settle into week five of staying home and trying to balance managing a family and work, we're having to relearn how to keep up with parenting.
John and Patrick catch up on the latest life events and how they're getting stuff done, continuing to adapt, and maybe making some discoveries along the way.

87 // The Importance of Checking In Apr 12, 2020

More than ever, it's important that we find time to check in with ourselves and with our friends and family.
As the COVID-19 crisis peaks in the US, Patrick and John catch up on their weeks—the continued stress of parenting through a pandemic. Because honestly, what the heck else is there to talk about?

86 // Attempting Business As Usual Apr 05, 2020

This is life now. It's socially distant. It's virtual school and work. It's 24/7 parenting. And as much as it's all feeling like Groundhog Day, each week has it's own flavor.
This week, John and Patrick describe what it has been like to attempt the things we had been doing before the pandemic. In the face of these challenges, the two dads try to figure out how they can do better.

85 // Adapting to Quarantine Mar 29, 2020

Our society's response to COVID-19 has triggered rapid changes in how we live—with such frequency that we're left trying to adapt daily as best we can.
Patrick and John talk through how they're managing to settle into some kind of new rhythm with their families and what they're learning so far amidst this crisis.

84 // Processing a Pandemic Mar 22, 2020

Alright folks, now we are just winging it at a whole new level. Families everywhere are coping with the day-to-day uncertainty brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. And this is only the beginning.
John and Patrick take some time together to process the last couple of weeks—the closing of schools, the quarantining, the working from home with kids, and all the rest of it. As usual, we don't have any answers here. We're just learning how to be okay with that.

83 // Fathers Finding Friends Mar 08, 2020

Socializing becomes a whole lot different after having kids; when it happens at all, it often involves a half-engagement with other people and half-focus on watching or thinking about our kids. We know friendships are generally a good thing to pursue, but who has the time to put into them anymore?
Patrick and John welcome guest Finn McSweeney to chat about what it has been like for he and John to connect via their kids. The three dads explore why the pursuit of friendship with other dads is a worthy one.

82 // The Best Laid Plans Feb 23, 2020

When it comes to planning anything with kids, there's the fantasy version of the event we hope will happen and then there's the reality. Parenting is all about how you mind the gap.
John and Patrick talk about their recent Valentine's Day and other activities they plan with their families—and how they've managed when things don't turn out the way they were "supposed" to turn out.

81 // Managing Impermanence Feb 09, 2020

Time keeps on rolling by, each and every moment fleeting. Despite having a multitude of methods to capture memories of our kids, it never quite feels like we're recording enough of them.
Patrick and John work through the right balance between being in the moment and capturing the moment to enjoy later, sharing some strategies on how to do a better manage their responsibility as parents to make some of the impermanent permanent.

80 // Get Down With the Sickness Jan 26, 2020

The first few years of our kids lives come with an onslaught of sickness. Slowly, their immune systems build up while we get to repeat childhood episodes of colds, fevers, and vomit.
John and Patrick chat about some of their kids' recent ailments and how the families dealt with it in the moment and in the stressful aftermath. You might not want to listen to this episode while you're eating, or after you ate, or... ever.

79 // Doubling Down in 2020 Jan 19, 2020

A new year. A new season! A new me?
Patrick and John are back for season three of Just Winging It! It's time to catch up and chat about why, no matter how many new years we've begun already in our lives, it still feels like a time we need to reinvent ourselves. How will we make this year, this season, and ourselves, better than ever?!

78 // Taking Stock 2019 Dec 22, 2019

It's the end of the year! A season filled with celebrations and maybe a bit of time to reflect on the fact that we raised our family through another full year.
John and Patrick close out season two of Just Winging It. The dads take stock, reflecting back on the 40+ episodes they recorded this year, and chat about where they'd like to take their lives and the show in the new year.
To all those just winging it in 2019 and those about to just wing it in 2020: thank you for hanging out with us and making us filthy rich. Oh wait, that's right we do this for free. You're welcome.

77 // All Joy And No Fun (Part 2) Dec 15, 2019

The modern US family household typically centers around children, dictating many of the life choices that parents make. It wasn't always that though. In her book, "All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood," Jennifer Senior brings some historical context to parenting today.
Patrick and John continue their discussion, going deeper into the pressures of modern parenting and exploring what the future stages might look like as their kids get older.

76 // All Joy And No Fun (Part 1) Dec 08, 2019

What if parenting doesn't bring the happiness we're led to believe it should? How do we deal with the gap between our experience and the expectations we've set with every other parent? These are some of the questions Jennifer Senior explores in her book, "All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood."
John and Patrick unpack the first half of the book, hitting on many of the threads discussed previously on the podcast about how kids impact parents— this time based in some insight from somebody who might actually know what they're talking about.

75 // Star Wars Dads Nov 24, 2019

A generation that grew up with the Star Wars phenomenon now get the chance to pass on the ways of the force with their children.
Ahead of the latest Star Wars theatrical release, Patrick and John reflect back on their love of the movies and franchise. And they consider the joys of being part of the millennial dad Jedi order.

74 // Just Stay-at-home-dadding It Nov 10, 2019

What does the life of a stay-at-home-dad look like? Episode 34 guest Joe Ketner returns to report live from the front lines after leaving his job ten months ago to be home with his young children.
Joe reports back to John and Patrick what it has been like to transition, how he manages his days, and what he's learned about himself on this journey.

73 // Monster Mash-up Nov 03, 2019

After a week off, Patrick and John have a monstrous mash-up of catching up to do. The dads talk about how to level up family vacations, take advantage of nature hikes, do Halloween costumes, and more.

72 // The Decision To Have More Kids Oct 20, 2019

How many children do we want to have? How will we know when we have the right number?
The decision on whether or not to have more children can be jam-packed with financial, logistical, emotional, and practical considerations. John and Patrick sort through it all while it's a fresh conversation they frequently have with their spouses: should they bring a third child into the world?

71 // Making A Call On Pets Oct 13, 2019

There are some big decisions that come along with making the choice to get a pet, particularly when we've already got little ones running around. There's another set of tough decisions when it comes to treating a sick pet.
Patrick and John recall their experiences with pets, before and with kids, as John weighs the options around putting his cat down and (eventually) bringing a new one into the family.

70 // Just Winging it Live! WTF Am I Doing? Oct 06, 2019

In their first ever live show, Patrick and John chat with an audience at the Somerville Armory Cafe to explore what the fudge they are doing.
As parents, we're faced with this sort of question constantly; am I making the right decisions with my parenting style? Where do I find meaning in life? And what the flip-phone am I doing recording a live show about parenting?

69 // This Is Water Sep 29, 2019

In 2005, the writer David Foster Wallace gave a commencement speech that would take on a life of its own, traveling far beyond the audience he delivered it to that day. It spread all across the world and would deeply influence countless people.
Patrick shares how he came to discover the speech and why it and Wallace's work left such a lasting mark on his life. He and John unpack the significance of this speech and how it informs their lives as parents.
Listen to the full speech or watch this short film with an abridged version of the speech.

68 // Back to the Future: FOMO Sep 22, 2019

John is traveling back in time to bring episode four, FOMO For Parents, back to the future. Yeah okay, it's a fancy way of saying Patrick and John had a hectic week and couldn't record a new episode for you.
Sometimes, going back to the advice you gave yourself a year and a half ago is just what the doctor ordered. John begins the episode with an original, never-before-listened-to (and never-should-be-listened-to) reflection on what made episode four such a great one, and why time management for parents remains an important practice in insanity.

67 // From Planning Activities to Writing The Books Sep 15, 2019

Wouldn't it be handy to have actual guides to planning activities for young children? Author and former educator Autumn McKay decided to turn the creative activities she planned with her own kids into a range of useful guides for other parents. Her engineer husband, Seth, decided to create coloring books to teach kids how things are made.
This enterprising duo talk to Patrick and John about what it's like to author their own books while managing three kids of their own. And because we all like you so much, they offer a special free resource for Just Winging It listeners: bestmomideas.com/justwingingit

66 // Always Trust Magic Sep 08, 2019

There are some children's books that stand out and strike a particularly strong chord with only a few words. That succinct power became a trademark of the prolific author Amy Krouse Rosenthal.
Many parents know her from reading one of her many children's books. Even more know her from an essay that quickly went viral after she wrote it for the New York Times only days before she died of cancer, "You May Want To Marry My Husband."
John shares excerpts from one of Rosenthal's memoirs, Textbook Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and contemplates with Patrick the unique perspective she shared with the world.

65 // Moving Our Family Out of Their Comfort Zone Sep 01, 2019

Much of this podcast has focused on how to break out of auto-pilot mode in our everyday lives as a parent. What would it look like to take it up a notch and totally disrupt life to discover more as a family together?
Cully Lundgren made this choice with his family when they decided to pickup their life and move it all to a rural village in Nicaragua. Cully joins John and Patrick on the show to talk about what spurred them to live abroad for nearly a year and what it has meant to them now that their back.
You'll want to read the full story after listening: MOM, THERE'S A SCORPION IN MY PANTS: One Family's Year of Living Purposefully in Rural Nicaragua by Cully Lundgren.

64 // Back to School Aug 25, 2019

Each year the end of summer seems to come more quickly. Back to school season hangs in the air. Anticipation, anxiety, excitement, worry; our kids go through the spectrum of emotions, and so do we.
Patrick and John chat about this latest back-to-school season, with a mix of kids just starting school and going back again, working through how they support their kids and get through it themselves.

63 // Road Trips Aug 19, 2019

Going on vacation with young kids often means hours-long car rides. If all goes well, the journey can be as much fun as the destination. If not, it can make for a rough vacation.
John and Patrick talk about their approach to enjoying family road trips, or sometimes just getting through them.

62 // Is Social Media Good For Us? Aug 11, 2019

Remember life before social media? It's difficult to recall how we stayed connected with our network of friends before Facebook, but somehow we did.
Social media is here to stay, so Patrick and John ponder this question: Has this powerful connector of people across the world made our lives better or worse?

61 // Actively Parenting Aug 04, 2019

Getting into a rhythm is pretty essential to parenting. But what happens when routine becomes a little too routine and we fall into patterns that might benefit from being broken?
John and Patrick dig further into how to stay motivated, change up our repertoire, and make the choice to actively parent.

60 // Getting Creative With Activities Jul 28, 2019

The task of thinking up new ways to keep our kids engaged each day can be exhausting. So how do we keep it from feeling like a burden?
Sometimes we just need some fresh ideas. Patrick walks John through the crazy, creative festival of activities he planned for his kids, and breaks down how other parents can have fun with planning out engaging—even educational—activities.

59 // The Beach With Kids Jul 21, 2019

A trip to the beach is typically equated with rest and relaxation. But now going to the beach with little kids is pretty much the opposite.
And yet, we still decide to do summer outings to the beach as a family. John and Patrick chat about how to beach with kids and keep it from being awful.

58 // Mindfulness Jun 30, 2019

Healthy eating and exercise will get you pretty far in life, yet there's still the major mental challenge in our day-to-day that is stress.
In this latest of the healthy living trilogy of episodes, Patrick and John navigate practicing mindfulness to stay present (and sane) amidst hectic parenting life.

57 // Finding a Healthy Diet Jun 23, 2019

Working out is one aspect of taking care of yourself and living a while, but a healthy diet is equally important. And with this too, being a parent means we've got to model what it looks like to eat right. So... what does it look like?
John and Patrick talk about their continuing journeys to find healthier diets; from junk food college days to the modern day foodie adult times. Needless to say, they've still got some work to do.

56 // Working Out Jun 16, 2019

We all know we're supposed to get in some exercise every week in order to live long, healthy, happy lives. How exactly do we pull it off when work and parenting devour most of our days?
Patrick and John haven't necessarily figured this one out all the way (as you can tell looking at them), but in this episode they talk about how they've managed to cobble together some workout routines that get in that critical physical activity even amidst full schedules.

55 // Prioritizing Human Connection Jun 09, 2019

When's the last time you had a real conversation with your neighbor? Or asked someone at work more than the obligatory, "How are you?" These days that kind of connection to people in our real everyday lives can feel pretty distant.
John and Patrick reflect on how they operate in their day-to-day with people beyond their close family and friends to consider how they might disrupt things and maybe serve as better examples to their watchful kids.

54 // Smorgasbord Jun 02, 2019

After a couple weeks off from recording, it's time to catch up on what's going on with Patrick, John and their families. A smorgasbord of topics, featuring some of the latest challenges with food, tales from Great Britain, the art of dance, and, as always, pee and poop shenanigans.

53 // Time Travel May 19, 2019

If time travel were possible today, would you do it? What would the world look like if it were as commonplace as flying in an airplane?
As a follow-up to there recent just imagine it segment, Patrick and John delve into the subject of time yet again, this time through a crazy ass thought experiment. As parents, we're constantly aware of the passage of time. What if time didn't carry that same weight in our lives?

52 // Take Your Kids to Work Day May 12, 2019

What, there's a national day to bring your kids to work on the fourth Thursday in April?! Is it a wonderful idea or totally bonkers?
John and Patrick talk about how they pulled off their first-ever, world-colliding experience taking kids to work for a day.

51 // Fathering Billions May 05, 2019

We've talked about becoming a new dad and the transition to two kids. But what does it look like when you've got more than that?
This episode features a very special guest who, in his own way, is a father of billions.

50 // Potty Training Apr 28, 2019

When it comes to potty training, there are lots of strategies to choose from. But like all the rest of parenting, strategy only gets us so far. Getting kids to use the toilet is messy—physically and emotionally.
Patrick updates John on the last few days of potty training his youngest son, and the two dads go a level deeper to try and understand this milestone and its challenges from their kids' perspectives.
Happy 50th episode! If you're enjoying the show, drop us a review and share it with someone you love... or hate.

49 // Thawing Out Apr 21, 2019

There's nothing quite like the magic of entering a new Spring. Dark days yield to sunshine, and warm air beckons us all outside, finally.
Patrick and John reflect on the challenges and joys of getting outdoors with little ones, and some back-in-my-day stories you'd expect from the old fogies.

48 // A New Dad Apr 14, 2019

Entering parenthood is rough. No matter how prepared you think you are, the first few weeks home are utter, sleep-deprived chaos.
Jeff Deutsch returns to the show, now as a new dad, to talk to John and Patrick about the reality of this deeply challenging transition into fatherhood.

47 // Catching Up Apr 07, 2019

Sometimes we just need to take a bit of time to catch up: with our kids, our partners, our selves, and our co-hosts.
John and Patrick catch up on their latest adventures including a vacation, a science fair, and an unfortunate poop.

46 // Reconnecting With Your Partner Mar 31, 2019

Remember that person you have a relationship with outside of co-parent? It's all too easy to lose touch with that person when you're both so focused on the daily demands of parenting life.
Patrick and John talk through how they try to keep strong connections with their partners amidst the craziness, including some ideas for breaking out of the daily routines that can keep us taking our better halves for granted.

45 // Finding Some Inspiration Mar 24, 2019

Every now and then it's nice to recharge with a dose of inspiration—open our minds to some new ways of thinking. Not that there's much time for that as a parent.
John shares with Patrick his experience traveling to a conference recently, featuring a healthy serving of wisdom he heard from the likes of President Obama and Oprah Winfrey.
But first, some proper dad-whingeing in yet another new segment on the show.

44 // How to Winter Mar 10, 2019

Winter with children can be a magical thing, filled with sledding, snow angels, and hot cocoa. But magic takes work, and a ridiculous amount of laundry.
Patrick and John chat about how they enjoy (and make it through) winter with the kiddos with a variety of outdoor and indoor activities to keep life full.

43 // Beating Cancer Mar 03, 2019

We all know someone who has fought cancer. It carries a particularly heavy weight in life, taking away far too many people we love and remaining high on our list of fears. What happens when it strikes us?
John recounts his episode with cancer ten years ago as he was graduating college. He and Patrick work through the perspective shifting moment that comes with this diagnosis and how it impacts more than just the individual.
Heavy topic, but don't worry, we manage to get in the usual Just Winging It insanity—poop jokes and all—up front.

42 // Dad-to-be Feb 24, 2019

The decision to become a parent is probably the biggest one we make in our lives. And we each have a unique series of events that bring us to that decision point.
Patrick and John bring on Dad-to-be, Jeff Deutsch, to hear what led him to the decision a little later in life, and to explore his current state of blissful ignorance when it comes to the earth-shattering world he's about to enter.

41 // Tidying Up Feb 17, 2019

She's taken America by storm with her novel approach to tidying up. Now Marie Kondo joins John and Patrick for a conversation about how she manages the spotlight, the fame, and the clean house, all while raising her children.
That would be a pretty great conversation. Instead, the two dads will fumble through the KonMari method to see whether it passes the just winging it test. Can it really be done with kids? Is it possible to stay this organized? Can anyone really fold like that?

40 // Handling Playdates Feb 10, 2019

Were playdates even a thing when we were kids? Getting together with our friends sure seemed simpler then, but maybe that's because we weren't the parents who had to deal with the dynamics of organizing with other families.

Patrick and John navigate the interesting, the fun, and the sometimes awkward situations that arise when planning with other parents.

On another note: Did you know studies have shown that people who share this podcast are eleven times happier than people who don't? Give it a try!

39 // Choosing A Preschool Feb 03, 2019

Obsessing about the best preschool option for our kids is probably not something most parents anticipate happening. But once the time comes to make a choice, the same part of our brain that craves reviews (Yelp!) before going out to eat or purchasing a product kicks into full gear.

John and Patrick discuss the stakes when it comes to choosing the right preschool: will it set their kids on a path of future success (or failure)? Is it just daycare under the guise of school? And why does it have to be so expensive!?

38 // Sharing the Sharing Jan 27, 2019

Teaching our kids to share is one of those fundamental things we're supposed to do as a parent, lest we have the kid who isn't sharing toys at a play date. Combine that challenge with the sibling dynamic and we've got some explosive situations—even without poop.

Patrick and John work through the difficulties of teaching sharing between siblings and whether it can even be done with young kiddos.

But first, and more importantly, what would you do if your kid turned into a zombie? You'll hear John and Patrick talk about it in this episode. But seriously, what would you do? Let us know: JustWingingItDads@gmail.com

37 // Call it a Comeback Jan 20, 2019

A new year, a new season, and the same two dads who know everything about nothing—and can't wait to share it with you.

John and Patrick are back from holiday break chock-full of useless stories about taking time off, getting kids (and ourselves) involved in recreational activities, and—of course—poop.

36 // Wrapping Up The Year Dec 23, 2018

The end-of-year festivities and craziness are upon us! As with most of parenting, the magic and the stress are a package deal during the holidays.

In this episode, Patrick and John close out the year—and the first season of Just Winging It—with the latest stories, a reflection on the year, and a look ahead.

Thanks for, you know, putting us in your ears this year. From our just-winging-it families to yours: have a fantastic holiday and joyous new year.

35 // Gifts & Gratitude Dec 16, 2018

'Tis the season to buy lots and lots more stuff. Gift-giving (and getting) can be another magical aspect of the holidays, especially for the kiddos. How do we keep consumerism at bay this time of year, and keep grounded in ye olde spirit of generosity and gratitude?

John and Patrick prep for holiday fun, strategize gifts, and think about how to add a dash of thankfulness to the festivities.

34 // Stay-at-home Dad Dec 09, 2018

We're living at a time where more than half of families with children have two working parents—a shift from the days when it was typically expected that mothers would stay home. Yet even with today's increasing acceptance that either parent can bring home the bacon, so few dads choose to stay home.

Enter this episode's guest, Joe Ketner, who is about to transition from the workforce to the diaperforce. Joe talks to Patrick and John about what went into his decision and how he's planning to enter life as a stay-at-home Dad.

33 // Is Santa Claus Coming to Town? Dec 02, 2018

The concept of Santa Claus is just one of those things that's in the air during the holiday season; our kids will catch it one way or another. But the extent to which we indulge in the magic (lie!) of Santa and the way we work through the eventual unraveling is a parenting responsibility worth giving some thought.

John is about to enter this holiday season with a three-year-old who's only just starting to become aware of Santa Claus. Patrick helps him work through whether and how he'll go about it. Oh, and this article from PBS NewsHour helps too.

32 // Nostalgia Nov 18, 2018

Hard to believe we're already breaking out the, "back in my day" phrase, but here we are. Young parents have been through dramatic changes in pop culture, technology, and life over the last few decades. Sometimes it's nice to pause and remember how damn cool the nineties were.

Patrick and John look out to their past from rocking chairs on the front porch as they dwell on the good ol' days. And then ponder what their kids will look back upon with nostalgia.

31 // Perception of Time Nov 11, 2018

When you become a parent, time and its passing can quickly become an obsession. The whole notion of time, of memory, of aging surfaces constantly as that little being grows.

John and Patrick stumble into this episode's subject, looking at how they perceive time and how they can maintain a healthy relationship with it.

30 // Cultivating Character (Avoiding Entitlement) Nov 04, 2018

Maybe there's more to this whole identity thing after all. While our kids are the center of our world, how do we raise them to know they aren't the center of the world?

Patrick and John go deeper to explore a parent's role in cultivating moral character, this time with some guidance from the book 8 Keys to Old School Parenting for Modern-Day Families by Michael Mascolo. They talk through why their generation often gets labeled as entitled and how they can prioritize virtues that avoid that sort of behavior in their own kids.

29 // Forming Identity Oct 28, 2018

Much of the time our focus as parents is on the now; helping our kids and ourselves navigate daily life. But we're also playing the long game, attempting to raise what we hope will become well-adjusted, self-sufficient human beings.

Who are our kids going to be when they grow up? How much of their identity is set and how much is being shaped?

John and Patrick think back to their (sometimes awkward) searching for themselves as they grew up, and talk about how they might help their kids form identities of their own.

28 // Halloween Oct 21, 2018

This is Halloween! A day that doesn't come with the stresses of most holidays, Halloween becomes all the more fun to celebrate with kids.

Hang out with Patrick and John for a spooktacular conversation about festivities, costumes, and frights. And maybe something about how to Halloween with kids, too.

27 // Grasping Death Oct 14, 2018

There's a moment in each of our lives where we first come to terms with the concept of death. The concept, like so many, carries even more weight now as a parent. How do we help our kids have a healthy understanding of the fact that we've all got an expiration date? And what are we going to tell them happens next?

Probably, these are questions we've got to work through ourselves first. Just another light, fluffy conversation as John and Patrick reflect on how their own understanding of death has been shaped over the years.

26 // Parenting Hacks Oct 07, 2018

It's amazing how much more efficient we can get with everyday tasks in order to (sort of) keep up with taking care of kids. We've all got our techniques and shortcuts to make the best of the limited time now.

Patrick and John share some of what you might barely call parenting hacks, proving once and for all that they have nothing of value to offer listeners. Thankfully, some of you shared your own parenting hacks to add into the mix for this episode.

25 // Exposure to Violent Themes Sep 30, 2018

Violence is everywhere in our culture, both real and fictional. When it comes to the former, we do our best to shelter our kids for as long as possible. But when and how do we handle exposing them to violent toys, games, and media?

In this episode—which originally featured an entirely different topic, by the way—John and Patrick work through experiences introducing their kids to some favorite action-packed fiction from their own childhood and how they've handled violent play.

24 // The Power of Limitations Sep 23, 2018

"The enemy of art is the absence of limitations," said the brilliant actor/director Orson Welles. The adage seems fitting when it comes to parenting, too.

Patrick and John talk about how limitations have played powerful roles in their creative works and personal journeys, giving shape and providing direction where it'd otherwise remain absent. Now how do they put those kind of healthy limitations on their kids?

23 // Breastfeeding Sep 16, 2018

It's one of those subjects we don't hear much about before having kids, and then suddenly breastfeeding—whether or not to, how to, and the countless challenges that arise—became a major focus of life when raising a new baby. It's also a topic with fierce opinions behind it.

You won't hear those opinions here, but John and Patrick feel like it's worthwhile to share some of their perspective as dads through this critical aspect of child-rearing. Needless to say, they play the supporting role. So how do dads lean in to that and help moms navigate this often-stressful and deeply emotional stage of parenting?

And some bonus Furby circuit bending audio! Take a listen to Patrick's FUZZY LOGIC: Music for Circuit Boards.

22 // Attaining Joy Sep 09, 2018

Do what makes you happy... right? We spend much of our lives in pursuit of it—in the US, it's right there in our Declaration of Independence—but is happiness all it's cracked up to be? In this episode, Patrick and John continue spelunking into the meaning of life cave. Thankfully, they can follow two far smarter guys on this journey, through a discussion of The Book of Joy, a reflection on joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama, written by Douglas Abrams. Future guests on the show? We'll work on it. Cover photo credit: Tenzin Choejor

21 // Childcare? Sep 02, 2018

After a week off from the show, John and Patrick have a lot to catch up on. Which means an episode chock-full of tangents... and maybe something to do with the topic of childcare.

Summer is ending, vacations are over, and it's time to transition into a new school year. The dads chat about some of their experiences (stresses!) with daycare, nannies, preschool, and now starting a child in kindergarten.

20 // Family Vacations Aug 19, 2018

The anticipation! The excitement! The 'womp, womp.'

Vacationing with kids is a whole new experience, loaded with emotions and expectations spanning the full spectrum. Patrick and John reflect on past trips with their young families, touching on the wonder and the crazy that comes with long car rides, amusement parks, and sleeping away from home.

19 // Kids Birthday Parties Aug 12, 2018

Whether you're planning or attending a birthday party for the kiddos, the experience can be more than a tad overwhelming. Celebrating these significant milestones while not getting carried away is a challenge—especially when you're hosting. Who gets invited? What's the theme? And where the heck are all these kids going to fit?

John and Patrick chat about hosting their kids' birthday celebrations and what they think makes for a successful party.

But first! They spend a half hour talking about robes, how their balancing time these days, a food update, coyotes, Angela Lansbury, and more.

18 // Sharing a Passion for Movies Aug 05, 2018

Introducing your children to movies is yet another awesome responsibility. After all, nobody wants their kids to grow up having awful taste in cinema. So how do you start their motion picture journey?

Patrick and John think back to the magical experiences they had watching some of their favorite movies, talk about why the art form has been so important to them, and walk through how they intend to share that passion with their kids.

17 // Judging Other Parents Jul 29, 2018

IT'S JUDGMENT DAY, WINGLETS.

It doesn't take long for new parents to start getting relentlessly judged. Before we leave the hospital, we find out we aren't swaddling the baby with the latest, hottest technique. Or we aren't breastfeeding her properly. Or we're putting too many layers of hats on her and now she looks too much like a snowman.

But just as we find ourselves being judged, we find ourselves judging others as well. And suddenly we find ourselves wondering: what's with all the judging? Is there something useful at the heart of this? Are we all just spite-filled monsters?

John and Patrick have no idea, but they had a lot of fun talking about it.

Judge for yourselves.

16 // Screen Time Jul 22, 2018

These days it seems screens are like cigarettes for kids. Are they the health-hazard we’re hearing about all the time in the news or a new technology for us to embrace? Let’s get real on what it means to parent kids with 21st century technology.

John and Patrick share their experiences with their kids’ screen time, distinguishing between the wide spectrum of media and technology—and exploring how the heck to deal with it all in a sensible way.

Some further listening/reading on the subject:

Can You Balance Screen Time And Family Time? On Point, WBUR

‘Screen Time’ For Kids Is Probably Fine FiveThirtyEight

15 // Irrational Fears Jul 15, 2018

There's a lot to be fearful about when it comes to raising another human being. And it feels like the more information we have access to, the longer that list of fears has become. Patrick and John sort through the many fears parents shared with them, and chat about navigating the line between rational and irrational.

14 // Answering the "Why" Question Jul 08, 2018

Nobody told us we need to know the answer to every question our kids ask us. But why does it feel like we sorta do need to know? John and Patrick work through their approach to responding to that favorite follow-up "why" question that kids have, and why talking about why matters at all. But first: why levitation might be possible!

13 // Self-Care: Finding Balance Jul 01, 2018

Remember that person we used to be good friends with who had no kids, no commitments, and seemingly endless supplies of free time? Things have changed, and our sense of self can feel pretty much non-existent amidst the balancing act that parenting brings.

Patrick and John work through how they attempt (and mostly fail) to find balance with a bit of self-care.

The article by NPR mentioned in the episode: The Millennial Obsession with Self-Care.

Bonus! Keep listening after the end music for Doug the Physicist's amazing (12 minutes!) response to the episode 11 question of whether or not it's possible for someone to levitate.

12 // Dealing With Tantrums Jun 24, 2018

You're having a picture-perfect day out with the family when suddenly that adorable kiddo turns into a screaming banshee. Trapped in a public space, there's no place to run and hide. Tempted as you are to walk away and pretend they aren't your kid, you've got to deal with the situation. Now. Forget about the poopy diapers—tantrums are one of the worst parts of parenting a little one. We've all been there. So what's the trick to handling them? Let us know if you've figured it out! John and Patrick share some war stories and their strategies for getting through it.

11 // The Transition to Two Kids Jun 17, 2018

Just when we think we have a handle on things, that second baby enters the scene to shake things up. On one hand, we feel more prepared—we already kept one alive for this long. On the other hand, the idea of twice as much of everything is... overwhelming.

Patrick and John reflect on what that transition looked like for them: inviting a new little one into their family, the impact it had on their first, and the juggling act that comes with having more than one child.

10 // Cultivating A Sense of Adventure Jun 10, 2018

We're overworked, overbooked, and overtired. Who has energy for adventures? In an age where every hour is accounted for, it's tough to imagine spur-of-the-moment anything with the kiddos. At least it is for John.

Patrick swoops into this episode to share some of his escapades with the family, and the two chat about the value of cultivating that sense of adventure in a generation that will likely find it increasingly rare.

09 // Raising Feminist Boys Jun 03, 2018

The #MeToo era has convinced a lot of men around the world to look in the mirror and ask themselves some pretty tough questions: What's masculinity? What's manhood? What power dynamics have I taken advantage of? What behaviors have I left unchallenged because it was easier to stay silent?

Raising boys in these gender-aware times can be challenging. Unpacking some of those challenges with John and Patrick this week is Sebastián Molano of Defying Gender Roles, who is about to welcome a son of his own into the world.

Check out the articles referenced in this episode at this XY collection.

And for more on Sebastián's work, make sure to visit facebook.com/defyingenderoles!

08 // Healthy Relationships With Food May 27, 2018

We all want to raise kids who love to eat vegetables and "just say no" to junk food, but has anyone really figured out how to do that? With the plethora of modern-day foods to choose from, why does it feel more difficult than ever to get your kids to eat healthy? In this episode, John and Patrick explore their own relationships with food, how they approached introducing their babies to eating solids, and the challenges that come with getting their kids interested in the right kind of food.

07 // The Power of Kids' Books May 20, 2018

In our increasingly plugged-in world, it's refreshing to know that books are still as integral to the parenting experience as ever. Whether we're reading a book about trucks for the nine hundred thousandth time or fighting through the tears as we try to get through "Goodnight, Moon," parents end up spending a surprising amount of time reading to their children.

In this episode, John and Patrick are joined by Jemma Stringer (a guest!!). Jemma, a gender expert, has a ton to say about the power of ideas in children's literature.

And when you're ready for a good cry, you can read or listen to a reading of the column referenced in this episode, You May Want to Marry My Husband by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

06 // Discovering Music May 13, 2018

Hooking your kids onto your favorite music is a parenting perk that almost makes up for all the terrible kids songs you're subjected to hearing.

Patrick and John chat about their passion for music, the fun of sharing it with our kids, and the surprises that come from discovering new music together.

05 // Appetite for Destruction May 06, 2018

Before we had kids, we had these images in our heads of what parenthood was going to look like. Holding our daughter's hand as she plants a seed in the garden. Hoisting our son onto our shoulders so he can pretend to be an airplane.

But for some of us, parenthood ended up looking like a fistful of beheaded action figures being hurled through the air towards our eyes.

And you know what? There's something beautiful about that, too.

This week, John and Patrick discuss kids' strange enthusiasm for making messes.

04 // FOMO For Parents Apr 29, 2018

What role does fear of missing out (FOMO) play in parents lives when the task of time management is already a practice in insanity. John and Patrick talk about the ridiculous moments that make us stop and think about what it really means to miss out on life.

03 // Who Are These Guys?! Apr 23, 2018

Becoming a parent brings a pretty massive shift to our sense of self and purpose in life. Patrick and John reflect on the journey that brought each of them to fatherhood and podcasting.

02 // Who's in control? Apr 17, 2018

We go into parenting preparing as best we can, despite the fact that nothing can truly prepare us. In this episode, John and Patrick tackle the concept of control—over situations, kids, or... anything. Plus, more poop stories!

(Stay tuned: subsequent episodes will feature much-improved microphones!)

01 // Accumulation of Stuff Apr 10, 2018

Stuff! How is it possible for these small creatures to draw in so much of it?! In their first episode, the dads find themselves navigating the stuff that carries meaning for our kids' (and our own) lives, and the stuff that weighs us all down.

FTR, after you listen: it's Janet Lansbury who hosts a parenting podcast, Unruffled. You should check it out for actual parenting advice. Angela Lansbury, on the other hand, is doing her acting thing, hoping for an Emmy after 18 snubs.

00 // Just Winging It Teaser Apr 08, 2018

Two thirty-something dads, John Abdulla and Patrick Greene, explore poopy diapers and the meaning of life.

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