It’s OK That You’re Not OK with Megan Devine

Latest Episodes:

Is It Time to Retire The Stages of Grief? (Spoiler: yes) Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

Everybody knows the stages of grief. Even if you didn’t go to grad school, I bet you can rattle them off. Thing is - those stages don’t help anyone: not the pros trying to support patients or clients, not the person trying to survive an impossible situation. Tune in for the inside scoop on the stages of grief and what we should be doing instead, with a special shout-out to the tv shows getting grief right.

In this episode we cover:

where the stages of grief came from, and why their creator was Less Than Pleased with what happened next
whether an “innocent” mention of the stages of grief really matters in a movie or tv show (shout out to netflix: HMU!)
what to do if your boss asks you to support your co-workers through a death in the company
and much more, because I have a lot to say on these stages, apparently.

Questions to Carry with you:

rooting out the ways the stages of grief live in your head (it’s not as uncomfortable as it sounds!)

Extra resources: I’ve written a lot about the stages of grief. Check out this article, this instagram post, and for more of my feelings about the Starling, click here. Be sure to pick up It’s OK that You’re Not OK wherever you get your books, too - there’s a lot about the stages in there (including the reasons why graduate programs still teach this outdated model).

For more help navigating grief in the workplace, check out Alica Forneret, Lantern, and Grief Coach. I provide corporate consulting on grief related comms, too. Get in touch via megandevine.co Disclosure: these aren’t paid placements - I’ve worked with all these folks and I super dig them. Go check them (and me!) out.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed - at refugeingrief.com/book

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What Happens to Childhood Grief When You Grow Up? Jan 10, 2022

Show notes

Our early childhood experiences of grief - and how our family systems dealt with loss - have a huge impact on our adult behaviors and relationships. This week, author Allyson Dinneen (Notes from Your Therapist) joins me as we discuss generational grief stories. We also have the first of many conversations addressing your number one most asked question: how does a grieving therapist (or another healthcare provider) go back to work?

About this week’s guest:

Allyson Dinneen is a marriage and family therapist and mental health counselor is the author of Notes From Your Therapist, a book based on her Instagram account of the same name, where she shares her reflections on emotions, relationships, grief, and life. Allyson’s work has been featured in Huffington Post, Forbes, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and more. She lives in the Berkshires, Massachusetts and works in private practice.

Questions to Carry with you:

Exploring the risks and rewards of telling the truth

References:

Megan and Allyson discuss a question from a previous episode that aired on January 3rd. Click HERE for that episode!

Find all this, plus instructions for how to submit YOUR questions to be answered on a future show in this episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling book- It’s Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Holiday Debrief: Ghosting Therapists, New Year’s Breakups, and Holiday Angels Jan 03, 2022

Show notes

The holidays are over - you made it. By the looks of our inbox, the season wasn’t easy. This week, a holiday debrief, including bad behavior from therapists, why religion is not the answer to grief, and some true facts about dating after loss.

In this episode we cover:

how to say “I can’t work with you” without accidentally shaming your patients or clients
why “but your (dead relative) is all around you, just in a new form!” maybe isn’t the most supportive thing to say
questions to ask yourself when faced with a surprise romantic breakup (and what that has to do with grief)
and as always - fun talk about boundaries.

Questions to Carry with you:

Boundary practice!
Still working on those resolutions? Be sure to listen to the two-part episode New Year, Same Grief (and the Math of Suffering) for help creating resolutions that feel a little more achievable than “overhaul my entire life”

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling book- It’s Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New Year, Same Grief (and the Math of Suffering) with Kate Bowler - Part 2 Dec 27, 2021

Show notes

The end of the year is always a flurry of resolutions and “next year will be even better!” sentiments. It’s kind of hard to look forward to the future with - all of everything - still going on. In this special two part episode, we face the new year together - with special guest, historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.

In part two of this episode:

Finding motivation to set goals for yourself
The difference between transactional hope and functional hope
What docs should tell patients about grief

About Kate:

Kate Bowler, PhD, is an associate professor of the history of Christianity in North America at Duke Divinity School. Author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason, Dr. Bowler stages a national conversation around why it’s so difficult to speak frankly about suffering through her popular podcast, Everything Happens. She has appeared on NPR, The TODAY Show, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and TIME Magazine. Her latest book, No Cure For Being Human), grapples with her diagnosis, her ambition, and her faith as she tries to come to terms with limitations in a culture that says anything is possible. Follow her @Katecbowler on all social Platforms.

Questions to Carry with you:

As you work on your New Year’s resolutions, focus on how you want to feel, rather than what you want things to look like. Let us know how it goes!

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling book- It’s Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New Year, Same Grief (and the Math of Suffering) with Kate Bowler - Part 1 Dec 20, 2021

Show notes

Is acceptance overrated? What happens when you have to face a new year without your person in it (or without the health you used to have!)? In this special two-part episode, we face the new year together - with special guest, historian, author, and queen of awkward conversations, Kate Bowler.

In part one of this episode:

How do you have hope for the year to come when right now maybe isn’t so great?
Acceptance, moving forward, and ferocious self-advocacy
The Math of Suffering: this year, last year, and measuring love
Why social bonds matter, and what happens when no one sees you

About Kate:

Questions to Carry with you:

special show notes bonus question to carry with you: What’s your relationship with acceptance?

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling book- It’s Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your Holiday Survival Guide: Family Dynamics Edition Dec 13, 2021

Show notes

The holiday season is sometimes joyful, sometimes stressful - and to be honest, it’s usually a mix of both. Between external pressures and family dynamics, we figure everyone can use some tips on making it through the season.

In this episode we cover:

How to bring up your loved one’s absence when no one else will
Making a good enough holiday for your family when you’re not in the holiday spirit
Tips for navigating intrusive personal questions (like “when will you have kids?” or “don’t you think it’s time you moved on?”)
and learn why consensus is a terrible holiday goal, but collaboration might just be the best thing possible

Questions to Carry with you:

What would a good holiday look like for you? What do you most need in this season? There are no wrong answers to these questions.

Communication skills practice: Tell someone one thing you'd like to do this holiday season that might not be traditional or that might bring up some feelings.

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling book- It’s Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maybe We Should Talk About Grief Dec 06, 2021

Show notes

Setting the stage. Why do we need to talk about pain and grief and horrible things anyway? Who wants to talk about that? With everyone grieving something over the past few years, and healthcare workers pushed beyond their limits, we’ve got to talk about this stuff amongst ourselves - because the helpers? They need help too.

In this episode we cover:

the mental health crisis inside the healthcare industry
the one thing the pandemic has made everyone aware of (aside from indoor air quality)
Some moderately deep grief-related history involving “keep calm and carry on”
How the ways you talk about everyday annoyances can actually help change the world
and why Mr Rogers has it all wrong about looking for the helpers

All of that, plus instructions for how to submit YOUR questions to be answered on a future show. Tune in, listen, review, subscribe, and share with everyone you know.

For more information, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

To submit your questions please use our toll-free number to leave a voicemail: (323) 643-3768

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Meet Megan! (A Bonus Episode) Nov 29, 2021

Show notes

Here After is a show that explores some of the hardest parts of being human: what to do when life goes horribly wrong. Each week, host Megan Devine tackles questions from doctors, nurses, therapists and other helpers as they try to figure out how to show up - for themselves, and for others - in the midst of deep grief. Sounds heavy, right? Well, it can be. It’s also got humor, validation, and tools you can use in your own life. But if you’re going to listen to a topic lots of people would rather avoid, you should probably know who your tour guide is. In this bonus mini episode - meet Megan.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introducing: Here After with Megan Devine Nov 19, 2021

Show notes

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.