Show notes
When your children are grown, the question isn't necessarily “What should I do now?”
A more interesting question is:
“What do I want this next chapter of my life to be about?”
A life theme isn't a goal, a resolution, or a five-year plan. It's a direction. A quality you want to cultivate. A question you want to explore. A way you want to experience this season of your life.
For women who spent years organizing their lives around their children, this can be an opportunity to consciously decide what comes next.
1. Identity: Who Am I Now?
For years, motherhood may have been the organizing structure of your life.
Now you may be asking:
- Who am I beyond being Mom?
- What parts of myself got put on hold?
- What do I like now?
- What am I curious about?
- What strengths have I developed that I want to use differently?
- Who am I becoming?
Theme: Moving from identity-by-role to identity-by-choice.
2. Freedom & Choice: What Do I Actually Want?
One of the gifts of this stage can be realizing how much choice you have.
You don't necessarily have to keep doing things because you've always done them.
You can ask:
- What do I want my days to look like?
- What would I choose if I didn't have to explain it?
- What am I doing because I want to—and what am I doing because I feel obligated?
- Where do I want more freedom?
- Where am I ready to say no?
Theme: Choosing based on desire rather than obligation.
3. Letting Go: What No Longer Fits?
A new chapter often requires some editing.
That might mean letting go of:
- An outdated identity
- A commitment
- A relationship dynamic
- Possessions
- Expectations
- Guilt
- Perfectionism
- The belief that you have to be needed to be valuable
Sometimes the most important question isn't “What should I add?”
It's:
“What am I finished with?”
Theme: Creating space for what's next by releasing what no longer belongs.
4. Contribution: What Do I Want to Do With What I Know Now?
You have decades of experience, skills, relationships, perspective, and hard-earned wisdom.
How might you use that now?
Maybe it's:
- Returning to work
- Starting a business
- Mentoring
- Teaching
- Volunteering
- Creating something
- Leading
- Supporting a cause
- Finally pursuing an idea you've carried for years
The question becomes:
“What still has my name on it?”
Theme: Turning experience into meaningful contribution.
5. Relationships: Who Do I Want Around Me Now?
This season can change your relationships—not necessarily because something is wrong, but because you are changing.
You might want to:
- Deepen friendships
- Make new friends
- Redefine your marriage
- Develop a different relationship with your adult children
- Stop over-functioning for other people
- Create more reciprocal relationships
- Become more intentional about who gets your time and energy
A particularly important shift:
Moving from being needed to being connected.
6. Pleasure: What Fills Me Up?
Motherhood can make productivity feel like the measure of a good day.
This chapter can invite a different question:
“What do I enjoy?”
Not what is useful.
Not what makes you a good wife, mother, or employee.
What actually feels good?
Think:
- Travel
- Friends
- Food
- Creativity
- Music
- Exercise
- Beauty
- Hobbies
- Adventure
- Learning
- Sex
- Laughter
- Spontaneity
Theme: Building a life that contains pleasure—not just responsibility.
7. Lifestyle: How Do I Want My Life to Feel?
This is bigger than what you do.
It's about the experience of your everyday life.
Ask:
- What do I want my mornings to feel like?
- What kind of home do I want to live in?
- How much structure do I want?
- How much spontaneity?
- Do I want to travel more?
- What rituals do I want?
- What do I want my calendar to look like?
- What would make an ordinary Tuesday feel really good?
Theme: Designing a lifestyle that fits who you are now.
8. Meaning: What Makes This Chapter Matter?
Eventually, the question may move beyond:
“What do I want to do?”
to:
“What do I want my life to mean?”
That could involve:
- Family
- Community
- Creativity
- Service
- Spirituality
- Mentoring
- Legacy
- Personal growth
- Making a difference
This isn't necessarily about doing something big.
It may simply be about creating a life that feels satisfying, enjoyable, and meaningful.
9. Courage & Expansion: What If I Stopped Waiting?
There can be a temptation in midlife to make life smaller.
But what if this season is actually an invitation to expand?
- Try something you've never done
- Be a beginner
- Take a risk
- Travel somewhere new
- Start something
- Make the decision you've been avoiding
- Become more visible
- Say yes to something that scares you
Theme: Expansion instead of contraction.
The Bigger Question
Instead of asking:
“What am I supposed to do now that my kids are grown?”
Try asking:
“What do I want this chapter of my life to be about?”
And you don't have to choose one theme forever.
Your theme might be:
Freedom.
Or Adventure.
Or Friendship.
Or Contribution.
Or Creativity.
Or Simplification.
Or Pleasure.
Or Courage.
Or maybe it's simply:
“I'm figuring out who I am now.”
The goal isn't to create a perfect second act.
It's to become intentional about the life you're creating now.
Closing thought
Your children's lives may no longer need to be the organizing principle of yours.
That doesn't mean motherhood is over.
It means there is room for more.
More choice.
More identity.
More friendship.
More pleasure.
More purpose.
More you.
And the question isn't “What should I do next?”
It's:
“What do I want this next chapter to be about?”
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you intentionally craft a new theme for your next chapter, I can help. I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.
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My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
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